This podcast is offered by San Francisco Zen Center on the web at sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. morning after breakfast, I go over to my apartment across the street to feed my cat, who's a marvelous actress. She can meow in an utterly convincing way that she's so hungry, she's dying of starvation, and that before I do anything, even go to the bathroom, I should feed her.

[01:06]

We've had that piece of theater going for most of her life. It's so interesting because most of the time I succumb to it. And then upstairs, my daughter and her husband and her two young boys live. At that time of day, they're getting ready for their day. and you can hear the young boy energy pinding on the floor. It seems like young boys are either asleep or they're running. Seems to me little happens in between the two. Every now and then, the voice of my daughter, my eldest grandson's called Marcello, every now and then, Marcello! as he's about to do something utterly disastrous.

[02:11]

But somehow or another, every day, they manage to get out the door, and my daughter heroically puts both of them on a bike and cycles them to kindergarten. And next door, there's two children, a little bit younger, and the elder one's a girl. The parents go off to work about 7.30, and the nanny, an aspiring professional dancer, takes care of the kids with this gracious ease. So their auditory theater is usually much sweeter. The one upstairs has almost like a furious intimacy.

[03:18]

Nightside Page Street fills our cars, miscellaneous radio songs. breaks honking. Kaya, world of, brought into being by the texture of it, the activity of it. This world of being, this conditioned existence. When we say dependent co-arising, the danger of it is it loses the... It sounds sterile. It sounds like an organic chemistry formula.

[04:31]

It loses something. This listening, each of the senses helps create its own world, and listening does that. In some ways, it's a great ally in practice. David White says, all these years forgetting how easily you can belong to everything simply by listening. This slow difficulty of remembering how everything is born from miraculous otherness. coming from the world of Zen, the world of Shishin, the world of Oriyuki breakfast, the placement of chopsticks, the chanting with the clackers, and just walking across the street and thinking, oh, there's a whole world going on here too.

[06:12]

That's amazing. I thought the world of Zen was the whole world. I thought there was nothing else. And yet here is a miraculous other world arising in its blazing uniqueness. And certainly I can have ideas about it, approval, disapproval, associated memories, imaginings, but in a way it's just blazingly itself. Not to disavow my responses, but it has an authority

[07:15]

authority of being that isn't just what I grant it or impose upon it. And in the world of Zen, this is a crucial point. And I think David captures some of that wonderfully. and the slow difficulty of remembering how everything is born from a miraculous otherness. Everything. Every moment of existence. But as we settle into Shashin, it's just the nature of our being, the nature of our human consciousness, the nature of our impulse to survive. We create a known, we create a familiar, we create a way of navigating this world.

[08:27]

We start to create patterns of response. then it tends to seduce us. And the seduction isn't always pleasurable. Sometimes it's quite unpleasant. It's evocative. This world we're creating is evocative in so many ways. And not even that we've let go of other worlds. No, no. Usually they're still in the wings waiting to be called on stage. And I then practice

[09:37]

some ways is extraordinary. It's not so much some great impurity of any world or particular worlds, you know, only this Zen world. The world upstairs with two boys chomping around like elephants or the word next door with a young girl talking with the sweetness of a song. These are frivolous worlds. The real world is here. It's verified by how we suffer within this one. Or it's verified by those sparkling moments of awareness. And in a way it is verified by both of those.

[10:42]

It's our intimate involvement in it that lets it be, that creates its being. But its teaching is about being, not so much as this world is the real world. And then even further we get ourselves into trouble. This world is the real world because I approve of it. And then even further we get ourselves into trouble. This world is the real world when I approve of it, and when I don't approve of it, it's not. Certain parts of this world are the real world. So sometimes it's interesting to watch. What am I verifying There's all sorts of curious discoveries.

[11:46]

Sometimes we're verifying an old, deep-seated hurt, painful emotion. Now I'm getting down to the real stuff. It's all the real stuff. The sign of the traffic's the real stuff. Listening to the fountain is the real stuff. And getting down to contact your painful emotions is the real stuff. It's all the real stuff. And how easily we can be entranced Maybe it's the sign of our appreciation of the world that's being conjured up.

[13:00]

We are enchanted by it. And the great gift of Shashin is it's bringing us to a world that has different characteristics than what we would call normal or my life. After Shashin, I'm going to go back to my life. What a wonderful idea. Unless, of course, you cringe at the thought. In that case, it's a terrible idea. And then in the process of awakening, is it an impure idea?

[14:05]

I have sinned. I just thought about going back to my life, which I hate, which I love. Or both. The awakening happens at the point of interaction. The interplay. Many years ago, I went to Sit Shishin with Sasaki Roshi, Rinzai teacher. And he gave me this koan. I need a few props for this. How do you realize when you hear this sound?

[15:08]

And then you go for sansan four times a day to respond to the koan. Zakiroshi died quite recently. I think he was 104, maybe 103. And he wasn't very tall, about 5'2", but when he sat, he was about 10,000 feet tall, and made, sat like a mountain. And he looked straight at you, and you'd answer the call, And there'd be absolutely no change in expression on his face. Absolutely none. No disgust, no approval, no encouragement, no rejection. Just look at you. And then reach, lift up the little bell, and ring.

[16:16]

That was the signal. Sun's end was over. You go in. thinking, ah, yes, yes, what's the answer, what's the answer, what's the answer? All the culmination of your great Zen experience and wisdom and insight poured forth. Look at you for less than a second and lift the bell. Sometimes, even as the words were coming out of your mouth, You know, and the words are coming out of your mouth and you're seeing the body moving. Should I even finish the sentence? Richard Gere, like Sachin with him. Richard Gere, the movie actor. And he wrote a wonderful article.

[17:20]

I'm not sure. I think it may have been for Tricycle. It's wonderful. because he describes the number. You turned up a little? Please. No? Okay. I'll move the mic closer. There we go. No, there we don't go. I'll talk a little louder. In the article that he wrote, he described the range of emotions and responses that he went through. I think it was the same koan. Sasaki Roshi gives it to most people. And it's interesting. He gives you the koan. Every tesho he gives, he talks about the koan. And still, four times a day, you go to respond to the koan.

[18:25]

We're always living this life. We're always in a world. We're always having a response to the world. We're having ideas about it. We're having feelings about it. We're behaving in a way of relating to it. We're responding, we're reacting. What is it? What is this world that all that's in the service of or evoked by? So Richard Gere goes through his emotions, you know. I particularly remember where he said he got angry, you know. Just thought, I am giving pretty good answers. And this old fool's just sitting there. And he'd get more aggressive. Nothing, you know?

[19:37]

And then he started to get deeply sad. And he felt, you know, a deep sense of incompetence, loneliness, futility about his life. And he went in weeping, you know, weeping, a very heartfelt sadness. Nothing. Just reaching for the bell. And then he thought, oh, screw the whole bloody thing. And he just went in and said, whatever he said. And Suzuki Roshi went, getting close. There are many paths. to this point of connecting.

[20:40]

Of course, within our tradition, within the methodology of our tradition, there is bringing forth awareness. There is directed attention. There's receptive attention. There is uprightness. There's letting down into the belly of the breath. There is attending to particulars and doing the forms exactly right. There is cultivating ease. There is cultivating the energy of presence and attention yes and yet there's something in just the moment that they can't dictate that they can't manufacture and they can't give us something we can then own

[22:01]

And even more mysterious, this is something we're intrinsically part of. We co-created it. Inquiry. What is is it to experience the moment? What is it to experience the experience that's being experienced? You know, this poem talks about a way of doing that. Actually, it talks about an unexpected and Seamus Heaney, if I hadn't been awake, if I hadn't been awake, I would have missed it.

[23:14]

A wind that rose and whirled until the roof pattered with quick leaves of the sycamore. It got me up, the whole of me a patter, alive and ticking like an electric fence. If I hadn't been awake, I would have missed it. How did he get to be awake? I think he's simply talking about lying in his bed. But instead of being asleep, he was awake. What is it to be awake for the moment? Any moment. Every moment. delicate balance in our practice.

[24:19]

Of course, we're attending to the particulars. The yoga of aligning body and breath. The yoga of aligning uprightness with suddenness. The yoga of directed attention and receptive attention. patient compassion as we open up and the turmoil and drama and intrigues of our conditioned existence pour forth. The patient compassion of not declaring they are the enemy. They are the impure being that's inhabiting my true inheritance of shining Buddhahood. The diligence, the dedication, going beyond like and dislike.

[25:41]

Just this, Is it... All these have their place. All these are the ongoing activity of our practice. Just do what you're doing. When walking, just walk. When listening, just listening. When hearing, just hear. And in the midst of this kanodoko, this point of connection, this apprehending the perception that reveals what is. In some ways,

[26:46]

our practice might lead us to conclude, well, this happens in those exquisite moments of sparkling presence. The mind is quiet as a lake. It's clear that it can be seen all the way through to the bottom. Yes. course but also intriguingly any moment where we see the construct of our world of being we see it and we're not fooled by it doesn't mean we're not feeling the gravity of it doesn't mean we're not feeling the emotional reverberation of it maybe we are

[27:47]

sometimes in coming to the point of contact, that presence, the gravity of it becomes apparent. This is a significant thought. Oh yeah, I know I'm dying to the truth and it's painful. because pain is the marker of the real truth. Who says? Or satisfaction is the marker of the real truth. Or equanimity. gratitude.

[28:55]

They all offer something. When they're met, just as they are, they all offer a teaching. But not to discard our tawdry moments where we just realize the mind and the emotions have been grasping something. can that grasping be felt? Can that moment be experienced? Can how you hold it as a treasure, even if it's painful, like grabbing the thorns of the rose, or how it floats lightly as you feel as it evokes gratitude for something in your world.

[30:00]

How can that be connected? Not because it affirms some idea you have, but because it's seen as itself. It's seen as, oh, look at what's happening. Hear what's happening. Feel in the body what's happening. Notice, acknowledge with the mind. All these ways of contact, all these ways in which the contact, the experience, can open a door to awareness. sometimes in terms of our conditioned existence, noticing some aspect of it that's psychologically significant, that's deeply patterned, noticing that, and in the experiencing of it, an insight.

[31:28]

An insight, maybe beyond words, maybe the insight evokes an image, an understanding. If I hadn't been awake. Okay, that was all the preamble to this coin. Case 37 of the Book of Serenity. Guishan asked Young, it's the same thing. At least in my mind, it's the same thing. Maybe to your mind you'll go, what? There's no relationship between that and what you just said. Guishan said to Youngshan, if someone said, All sentient beings just have active consciousness, boundless and unclear, with no fundamental to rely upon.

[32:41]

What would you, how would you prove it in this experience? It's a little bit like, actually it's a play on an earlier story where a monk quotes Savatthama Sakasutra. to Yunnan. And in that he said, in the Avatama Saga Sutra it says, fundamental affliction of ignorance itself is the immutable knowledge of all Buddhas. This principle is profound and mysterious and extremely difficult to comprehend. So this is a play on that. This moment of contact that David White so audaciously calls with the miraculous other.

[33:44]

It really, it's any moment of contact. Every moment is in a rising world of being. It's both. What's stirred up by... conditioned existence, and it's the suchness of what is. Just this. It's just itself. It's not defined by my judgments or ideas about it or my feelings about it. It's itself. Form is form. And the Abhatam Saka Sutra says, this is very difficult to realize and comprehend. And young man decides, no, it's not. That's what his answer is.

[34:47]

This is most distinctly clear and easy to understand. Where's your problem? Let me illustrate. And there's a young boy nearby, At that moment, a boy happened to be sweeping there. Yon-nan called to him, said, hey. And the boy turned his head. He says, see? And then he said to him, what is your Buddha nature? And the boy looked at him like, what? A few months ago, I asked my grandson, who's Fuga. In the middle of our conversation, I asked him a Zen question. And he stopped, and he looked at me, and he said, Are you talking to me?

[35:53]

LAUGHTER What's your Buddha nature? Are you talking to me? We're utterly and completely capable of experiencing the experience that's being experienced. We have all the prerequisites. We don't need something, some other state of mind, some other body, some other weather. how extraordinarily easy it is to be entranced, enmeshed in that experience.

[36:58]

So this time in Shashin is both potential miraculous opportunity and a dangerous possibility of, okay, I'm learning to accommodate, navigate. I'm learning to survive. Maybe Shashin is not going to kill me. Maybe if I just this and that, you're learning the routines. Oh yeah, I just got to get through this and then it will be whatever it will be. And you'll do whatever it is you do when it's that way.

[38:13]

In our search for pleasure and avoidance of pain, in our search for the security of the familiar, in the avoidance of the danger of unexpected challenges, we can start to relax. It's becoming more familiar, more negotiable, more manageable. But can we keep alive that curiosity, that investigation, always the world, the moment, is saying, hey! And in its miraculous invitation to awakening, can there be awareness? Can we turn towards even the afflictive emotion?

[39:21]

there is deep sadness within us. There's regret. There's fear. There's a numbing despair. Confusion. But they're not the whole story. But in that moment when they call out, hey, can we investigate. Neither succumbing to it nor nobly fighting against it. What is it? What is that story? What is that world that's called into being that has so much authority? in my sense of being, in how me is formulated.

[40:32]

And the simplicity of the sparkling moments. If I hadn't been awake, I wouldn't have heard the patter of the wind-blown sycamore leaves on the roof. If I hadn't been awake, I wouldn't have heard the creak of the floorboard in the zendo as I stepped on it. Sometimes I walk in the zendo and I try to remember all the boards that creak and then walk around them. It's a great game. You should try it. You know, when you're walking in the zendo, you should be invisible and inaudible. It's that easy.

[41:42]

Whatever, however the moment comes into being, it be experienced. And we study, what is that experience like? Is that like hitting it with a hammer? No, actually it's more like touching it with a feather. Is that like giving it the stamp of approval? Is that like relating to it in a way that I'll be able to squeeze out of it what I'm hoping for? No, it's more like surrender. It's more like this becomes so intriguing that you forget yourself.

[42:59]

And in that forgetfulness, it's almost like what arises is a surprise. The sun shines in the window. Imagine that. How long has that been going on? I'm feeling this emotion. Imagine that. I wonder if I've ever felt it before. This. In some ways, having discovered mostly how to accommodate our survival can that afford, can that bring about a sense of ease?

[44:11]

Okay. That then we can explore in detail what's going on. That we can make ourselves available for these momentary occurrences that are saying, hey, that we can contact our own being in a way that we've been mystified by. But living out. And here's David's. courageous words.

[45:13]

All these years forgetting how easily you can belong to everything simply by listening. Simply by listening, simply by seeing, simply by feeling, simply by touching, simply by walking, simply by tasting. And the slow difficulty of remembering how everything is born from a miraculous otherness. The world according to me is interrupted by a miraculous otherness. which, amazingly, I helped to construct.

[46:15]

The same way I helped to construct the world according to me. They're both interplays of our human consciousness. I construct self and other, and then they intersect, and I say, miraculous. For more information, please visit sfcc.org and click Giving. May we all fully enjoy the Dharma.

[47:11]

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