This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning, everybody. I'm going to turn this to gallery view so I can see you rather than myself. Am I loud enough? Can you hear me? Thank you very much. So I am speaking to you today from Switzerland. So here it is seven o'clock in the evening and I'm ready to go to bed basically. And you have the morning. So it's very nice. to see you all.

[01:01]

And I'm going to scroll a little bit through the pages just to see who is here. So bear with me for a moment, please. See familiar faces, it's lovely. On familiar faces, that is lovely too. And actually, I would like to invite all of you, if you're capable of doing it, for a moment to turn on your video and look around because you will see people you haven't seen for a long time or new people and take your time because these are the people we know are all the threads that are woven into the fabric of our lives. And in these times, We don't get to see them in person that often or not at all. So it's maybe wonderful to just for a moment and then you're welcome to turn the video off again if you don't feel comfortable having it on.

[02:11]

So you each find yourself in your own space. And I would like to invite you for a moment to look around that space where you find yourself, to tune into your body, to make yourself as supported in your seat, in your location as you can. Keep looking around and see faces. And let that impact you. Because here, now, this very moment is all of your life. The wholeness of your life is right now. is all of my life, is all of our life and our lives, just this moment.

[03:53]

I wanted to talk with you about we have gone through the 10 months that we now have all gone through, while this year is coming to its end. And we are, according to the guide in Bhutan, when he met us, he said, you are family. We are meeting because we have met innumerable times in our lives before, in innumerable variations of relationships. And so you are family. And I want to just offer that to all of us in this shared virtual space right now.

[05:06]

We are meeting today for this moment, for this amount of time, because we are family. Whether we know it or not, we have known each other in innumerable times, in innumerable lives, in innumerable kinds of relationships. I wanted to offer you a poem because I think it reminds me of all of us during this time, even though Each single one of us has experienced and is experienced this life in a very unique way. It's a poem by Mary Oliver. It's called Starlings in Winter. Chunky and noisy, but with stars in their black feathers, they spring from the telephone wire and instantly

[06:13]

They are acrobats in the freezing wind. And now, in the theater of air, they swing over buildings, dipping and rising. They float like one stippled star that opens, becomes for a moment fragmented, then closes again. And you watch and you try but you simply can't imagine how they do it. With no articulated instruction, no pause, only the silent confirmation that they are this notable thing. This wheel of many parts that can rise and spin over and over again, full of gorgeous life. Ah, world, what lessons you prepare for us, even in the leafless winter, even in the ashy city.

[07:26]

I am thinking now of grief and of getting past it. I feel my boots trying to leave the ground. I feel my heart pumping hard. I want to think again of dangerous and noble things. I want to be light and frolicsome. I want to be improbable, beautiful, and afraid of nothing, as though I had wings. When I'm reading that poem, I think this is who each of us is, like a starling. like she describes it. And maybe we'll talk later a little bit more about that.

[08:29]

On my first, second prophecy, when I became ordained as a priest, Rev Anderson wrote, the verse burned the Book of Serenity, out of one of the stories in the Book of Serenity. And it goes, Continuously, creation runs for loom and shuttle, weaving the ancient propade, incorporating the forms of spring. So each moment, each person, each experience is like a thread or a form of spring. that is woven into the brocade of our lives. And we'll keep being woven in when we remember a person, when we see the person again. People that have died, those threads never leave our fabric and will re-woven in every time we get reminded of them.

[09:32]

So every new moment gets woven in and this is continuous. And that is the same feeling like when the guide in Bhutan said, you are family. And he treated us like family, even though we had never met in this life till that moment. So this year that is moving towards its end has and continues to challenge each one of us deeply, collectively, and individually. It is like the fact that we cannot take one breath for each other. We cannot really experience the experience of another person.

[10:40]

but we can listen to their experience without modifying it in our hearts and minds. We can make space, we can be curious about it, but we each have uniquely individual experiences every time, every moment, while maybe collectively being in a similar situation. But the similarity doesn't How do I say this? It doesn't diminish the individuality, the uniqueness of each person's experience. I sometimes think of as the year of perfect vision, 2020.

[11:45]

The disruptions of almost all aspects of our lives and our societal interpersonal fabrics through fires, floods, political strife, racial and economic injustices and disparities, the effects of the rampant virus, and the selflessness, kindness, compassion of hospital staff, first responders, firefighters, neighbors, friends, and innumerable people throughout this world are opening my eyes, heart, mind and body to the experience of how completely interconnected, interpenetrated and impermanent all the things are.

[12:55]

And of the immense ocean of suffering that is created by greed, hate and delusion. This has become so tangible and visible these last ten years, that with the grief and with the destruction and with the sorrow and the suffering, it is also a great blessing of offering us tangible proof of what Buddhism has always put at the basis of its teaching. the interconnection and impermanence of all things. So I wanted you to take a moment to feel in your body and look with loving eyes, eye from your heart space.

[14:12]

So feel in your body and look with a kind, loving eye from your heart space at your own life, at yourself. How these last 10 months have impacted you. What you had to face. you had to let go of. How these months made you stretch beyond what you would have thought possible? How you have discovered yourself in new and deeper ways.

[15:26]

How you have discovered that you are can do way more and even more than you ever believed you could. And look at what And who has helped you, has saved you at giving moments. And allow yourself to deeply, deeply acknowledge and appreciate all of it.

[16:48]

We're even getting some help from the planets in the coming time. On December 14th, with the new moon and solar eclipse in Sagittarius, the total eclipse, with these planetary eclipses and constellations in astrology, For every zodiac sign, there are specific qualities and energies collected. And these eclipses set up themes. And this one is about new beginning. And we are called upon to... increase our understanding and awareness of the world around us, which I think we have been given 10 months of microscopic views of it, magnifying views of it.

[18:34]

We are called upon to muster up the courage to expand our horizons and branch out into new ways of thinking. We are asked to gain more confidence and optimism by focusing on the big picture and interconnection and the global impact. To transcend the details of mundane existence. To work on positive thinking as a way of life. to nurture faith, trust, hope, and vision, and to be careful to moderate our expectations. I find this so fitting and in some ways so encouraging that

[19:41]

The whole universe is participatory in this big transformative experience and situation we find ourselves in. And I think you might maybe individually agree that many of the things that that theme brings up expand horizons and deepen the understanding and awareness of the world around us. And that already has started. I mean, we were challenged. We were stopped in our usual tracks, not by our own choice, but by... the situations we find ourselves in.

[20:47]

And we have been able, beyond each one of us, beyond what we thought we could do or would be able to do. And keep being asked to stretch. It's not over. But maybe we have a little more confidence that actually We are way, way, way more than we think, and we keep discovering ourselves in sweet and bittersweet ways. Maybe I discovered many patterns I couldn't see so clearly. I'm conditioning habits I carry around, which I could only start seeing in the confines, in my confined movement radius. I couldn't, because I couldn't do what I actually did and could do, I started to see things that I usually didn't see.

[22:03]

And I found that around the central habit, self-preservation, are an array of surrounding satellite habits that keep that habit in place. So those satellite habits just fell either way because they were not supported anymore by going to have dinner out or to a movie or seeing friends or doing this and that. So they fell apart. So then the more deeper habit became more tangible. And because there was nothing much to do, I mean, there was more space around to notice it. Also, that habit got a little bit loosened up. And I don't know that that was my experience, and I don't know if some of you had something similar, noticed something similar.

[23:03]

I think I have... I'm in a privileged situation by, at the moment, not having to worry about food on the table or the roof over my head for the foreseeable future, which is not everybody's situation. So that's created its own spaciousness, maybe around those habits. So I think it's really important to see the questions I brought up before, that how did it stretch you? What did you learn about yourself, about your resilience, about your capacity to meet the requests of the moment that were not chosen by you, that were imposed on you, and to really appreciate your capacity to respond to those? and your creativity to respond to them.

[24:10]

And I do think what comes to my mind also in these days over and over as helpful from our tradition, I mean from the Buddhist tradition, is the long and kindness meditation. I find it, when I read it today, I find that some of it is, we can already identify with, I think, in different ways. And the other is an encouragement on how, what to cultivate, how to move forward. Because going forward, You know, the year will end. There will be a new year. There will be more light in the day. There will be hopefully some healing happening around the virus situation and other things. And we will have a choice.

[25:23]

When the world opens up, each of us will have a choice of what do we keep? what we have learned or what we have understood deeper. And what will we just pick back up? Do we revert to what was familiar to us or are we bringing our new discoveries into this expanding life? And that will be each one's choice. And that's our freedom to do that. And so I thought what I would like to do is read a few all together, and you can read it at home loud, and Kodo will show you that on your screen, the loving kindness meditation. Kodo, is that possible at this point?

[26:24]

Yes, bear with us just a moment. Here it comes. So let's read this together, everybody out loud. Loving, timeless meditation. This is what should be accomplished by the one who is wise, who seeks the good and has obtained peace. Let one be strenuous, upright, and sincere, without pride, easily contented and joyous. Let one not be submerged by the things of the world. Let one not take upon oneself the burden of riches. Let one's senses be controlled. Let one be wise, but not puffed up. And let one not desire great possessions

[27:26]

even for one's family. Let one do nothing that is mean or that the wise would reprove. May all beings be happy. May they be joyous and live in safety. All living beings, whether weak or strong, in high or middle or low realms of existence, small or great, visible or invisible, near or far, born or to be born, may all beings be happy. Let no one deceive another nor despise any being in any state. Let none abide anger or hatred. which are to another.

[28:28]

Even as a mother at the risk of her life watches over and protects her only child, so with a boundless mind should one cherish all living things, suffusing love over the entire world, above, below, and all around, without limit. So let one cultivate an infinite goodwill toward the whole world. Standing or walking, sitting or lying down, during all one's waking hours, let one practice the way with gratitude. Not holding to fixed views, endowed with insight, freed from sense appetites, one who achieves the way will be freed from the duality of birth and death.

[29:37]

Thank you, Kodo. So I think it's really important that you... Look at yourself and at this past year with that infinite goodwill, with a loving eye, really appreciating your resilience, your capacities, that you are way more and can do way more than you thought possible. And that is always part of who we are. And we all have had to not let ourselves be submerged by the world. So some of these things we keep doing, even though while we feel overwhelmed and feel submerged, we continue.

[30:50]

It's not you never have that feeling. It's just it doesn't really stop you. not hoping to fix views I think is really something because I don't know who read the article by Maureen Dowd that where she has one brother in her family she's the only one in her family who is not what you call it follower of Trump so she allowed her brother to ask her brother to write an article in which she talks about why he thinks Trump is a really good president. And I could watch my mind. I just couldn't really take it in because I had a fixed view. I would just read over it.

[31:51]

I wouldn't really study it. So I still have the article and I'm going back to actually studying it. And it takes an effort to do that. It takes a big effort to let go of my fixed view. So I think going forward into the next year, it's really a challenge for me and maybe for some of you to pay attention to where my view is fixed and I, by that fixation, just immediately dismiss other points of view. make them less relevant or false or don't even see or hear them. So I thought this meditation, the loving kindness, the metta sutta is just a wonderful aid in moving through the end of this year into the beginning of next year.

[32:58]

And having that same attitude to oneself, you know, like may all beings be happy. That is also may all internal aspects of your being be happy. May they be joyous and live in safety. Can you look at all your parts, all aspects of your being with that kind of loving kindness? whether small or great, visible or invisible, near or far, in order to be born, high or middle or low realms of existence, all the inner aspects can be treated to always equal respect and equal kindness. So it's towards outward and towards inward is the same practice. And to really appreciate all the efforts you have been asked to make and you have made in these times, in these last months.

[34:16]

And that's why I love this poem by Mary Golibert, because I think we are like these starlings. And to end the talk, I will read it one more time. And when you listen to it, think of your being as being a starling, like she describes it. chunky and noisy, but with stars in their black feathers, they spring from the telephone wire and instantly they are acrobats in the freezing wind. And now in the theater of air, they swim over buildings, dipping and rising. They float like one stippled star that opens, becomes for a moment fragmented, then closes again, and you watch, and you try, but you simply can't imagine how they do it. With no articulated instruction, no pause, only the silent confirmation they are this notable thing.

[35:28]

This wheel of many parts that can rise and spin over and over again, full of gorgeous life. Ah, world, what lessons you prepare for us. Even in the leafless winter, even in the ashy city, I am thinking now of grief and of getting past it. I feel my boots trying to leave the ground. I feel my heart pumping hard. I want to think again of dangerous and noble things. I want to be light and frolicsome. I want to be improbably beautiful and afraid of nothing, as though I had wings. I wish you peaceful, joyful, warm-hearted holidays, a good ending of this year and a good beginning of next year.

[36:37]

want to congratulate you to your life and your practice, to your resilience and courage and compassion and sufferings and facing your life the way you do. Thank you very much. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered at no cost and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[37:22]

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