Vasubandhu

00:00
00:00
Audio loading...

Welcome! You can log in or create an account to save favorites, edit keywords, transcripts, and more.

This talk will not appear in the main Search results:
Unlisted
Serial: 
SF-04013
Description: 

Summer intensive

Photos: 
Auto-Generated Transcript

i carefully are undergoing to officers and directors
yeah chef for dinner
three minutes
now that again at them
and i blanch awesome
i think
here comes kathy has a

i think so
thanks yeah

so
i just wanted to just kind of remind us of what we're doing and where we are we've just been sitting for the intensive for what ten days or something
that long time and
yet available they'll ever say a twelve welfare something like that and
it's appropriate to be wherever it is you are
i'm it's kind of like going into a tunnel
and there's like on one end of the eternal
in the beginning
a
yeah
martha
and
and and in the middle of eternal it's kind of dark often
and we chug along in the tunnel until we get near the end of the tunnel in the light comes back a little bit
so
so
ha
so i think i think we should know where we are in the process
because it gives us it'll give us a little bit of perspective we're doing something that is difficult it's not easy it's really difficult and partly it's difficult because our our sweet little separate cells that we've depended on for so long
has an idea what we're doing and does not like it
the self that me
took so many years to build and and them had helped us really for all this time it really doesn't have anything to do in the present moment when we're really present we don't we don't need it
so it does it's damnedest to keep us
ah occupied with other thing
and it doesn't really care too much what those other things are
so if it's got our attention with police fine if it has our attention with no enormous amounts of suffering fine that's okay

the the the kind of the kind of trick about the whole thing from our point of view is that all we need to do with the content that is mine that going on and on an island or the body the emotions that are going on and on and on
is to just surrender to whatever exactly it is where we're at it's really really really okay
it's okay if we're kind of miserable
i mean if you can bear that he really is it's okay we're uncomfortable it's okay if were ah
you know
it's okay if we are in any place in any of the realm if it's the hell realm where the animal realm the hungry ghost round human realm jealous gods gods it's okay
it's really really okay it's okay ultimately because
but the one the one the one the one
tom watson
the what net that one life filled with
now
now that i'm here look at them
brendan
that we are all is is it includes the pit in the surf nothing is it's good
and after and think that have we already are ifit of
elsa
are
so it
or enough if we're just patient
yeah
if we're patient if we just kind of
was living conditions and sounds over
it's okay if we if thank you so much
because it turns out and and
kind of an interesting thought here it turns out what is actually what is healing what is going to what is going to trance so called transform only from the point of view of delusion did nothing to transform we don't have
we don't have to work so hard at transforming any
but from the point of view
what am i put their votes the antenna
the connection

hell

hello
no
hello
yeah i get it
you know so it's only for the point of view of of a
hi
i say i just walked up and down here
antenna squished
yeah
hi furnace is going on
just like the battery
how to do it be aware of it and awareness
it there's no
it
don't have better we don't have done nothing all we have to do is let ourselves be in present movement they said
hey because at okay they were going to struggle with it
so so long as you that trump or define the small self as struggle that's how he defined it that's pretty interesting so if we just surrender
huh
mama if we can just surrender
then
huh
and with the and a pet
the awareness of it to be in touch
huh
whatever realm you happen to be in
and hopefully don't hold on to any of it
that's all just if you if we just can let the thing flow little bit to flow
don't hold up i stay on
hell with the kind of don't struggle too much with it surrender
if as it is will take care of ids
so what with their five traditional things that prevent us from doing i want to mention them because we're going to be doing so she and pretty soon and we should know what particular hindrances our particular hindrance for familiar with it it really helps
yeah
no
but you know but the thing is if if you're in a place where you're indulging just know that that's happening watch what it ends up to be whether you suffer not by indulging it's awareness that really does makes the difference if that's where you're at
at and that's where as okay
ultimately fine it'll settle itself if we just stay awake
so the first hindrance the first classical hindrance is wanting or agreed some of us are green types
great is characterized by a sense of poverty
a sense of lack based on separation
the deepest kind of
wanting his is based on what category where she called thirsting desire
it's that even when everything goes perfectly well and there's a moment of just stopping and new kind of checking with yourself is is kind of vague sort of thought of
it's not enough that kind of thing
it's fair all the time
category where she called it at the scream that the very quiet scream
the second one is a version
some people are just know have a lot of anger
hate rage or even just plain old flight averting
it's good to know what's one our tendency is because they're different ways to take care of these things
okay
from being present all of these all of these hindrances or about not being present yeah
slot is really interesting one that was never i didn't never had such trouble with laws but ah
there are three kinds of sloths or torpor one is just because you're tired and you really just need to sleep so you can design and you poo breyer and that's okay nothing wrong with it just know that you're really tired he need some extra sleep he go to sleep
but the other tour little tricky one is is that you fall asleep because you're avoiding some feeling that you don't want to recognize
so watch out for that one and the other one is is that now this is a really interesting one for sitters with other people you're not exactly asleep you're awake and you think you're sitting and your even com
but there's no energy of a weakness there
that kind of zazen and very typical for so does then people
where were awake ish
richard that failure
you have you have to generate energy and an alert kind of crisp awareness you need energy to arrive
make sure your posture is really know really awake open your eyes if you need to ah but water on your face before you come in know that that's what you're doing
maybe make yourself into a little bit tighter you know posture so then you said me i don't we don't don't do this again i just a little bit more pain sometimes it helps
anger wouldn't yeah what to do with it well you know as with all of these things that ultimately what to do is to be upright in the midst of it and start with the smallest kinds of irritating make sure you are able to be upright not grab
irving or averting from little irritations and then slowly the bigger ones you can deal with sit still angers anger is just energy it's kind of pleasant actually cause it's all very energetic i like a of matter
although you know the dalai lama says of all of the things anger is never
helpful and hit it was just you know like never
at the those your interesting
and profit and true
the next one is restlessness and mercilessness is neat
it's just that whole extra energy it's like buying into entertainment
being caught by your thoughts all the time just really generating a lot of energy around distractions and suzuki roshi said to sit with that is to sit is to put your mind like in a very wide pasture like a cow in a big basher or sometimes it helps to vision like a desert some pie
this is where the ocean looking out over the ocean so your mind has enough space to settle down if you try to really concentrate with restlessness it's like putting a lot of energy you know in a very small room and just goes like ping pong in all over the place doesn't have a wide ah field is is better for restlessness
and doubt
no doubt
doubt it course is the worst one because it undermines the practice so what's recommended is if you're not sitting zazen is to talk to somebody to get your questions out there and say you know whether or not you know what wherever your question is just put it out which talk it out
with somebody but when you're sitting zazen that i think that most important thing is just to note oh here's my friend in serious doubt i know you come with me working a said it's okay just right now for this period i'm going to really try to be present and then i'll i'll listen to you later
and with a kind of a a gentle but firm a gentle but firm intention you just bring yourself back to the present moment
i write so mostly their aunt reason why i wanted to talk about these thing is today is just because
yeah it's it's hard what we're doing and wherever it is that we are it's okay just keep going just bring your tired little body to the zendo sit down you know try to be president if you don't it's okay
you know
source of fun
no that is also kind of fun and joy
and in a way more than that
it's just life doing itself so you can just sit there and open to it whether it you're having a bitter old time or a wonderful time it may it doesn't really matter if you if awareness as they're watching all the staff
oh i'm miserable far out
my dad
i have an unnecessary
the sunshine boy
okay now let's get down to our text
so yesterday we talked or a a par contre empire of spawner and then the pocketbook how about somebody else to somebody else have a definition of park alberta
that you can
anybody at all
make believe
but if
yes
i'm completely conceptual mental event what else

while some sorry is suffering the world of suffering the deleted world of suffering but this is kind of specific it imagines it imagines solidity and inherent existence where there is none and it's essence less nurse
this is exactly that that know characteristics can be found in it it's completely of fabrication
yes

hmm

hmm
huh interesting i'm thinking about
ha ha

a handful
yeah
the word

this par contre is dependent co rising that what arises depends on something else before happening it depends actually on everything else and the it's essence less ness is that fat
act that because it depends on everything else to arise there is no inheritance solidity separation there
in that way dependent arising an emptiness look at each other so
that's i think that in a certain kind of way the clearest one part in a bonnet is just life as it is and it's essence lushness is just that that that is the way life is without any
and heritage exist in sir
solidity or anything like that and the way we relate to such a thing is to just ah
not put anything extra on whatever it is it arises
and so i'm going to read you my very favorite story just about
that you know i tell you this story a lot but i've never really read the whole thing to you
cause it's a little bit along
but you don't let me read before i get it i go of me twenty four this is from would that the one that barnaby has had to put back here i think this one is kind of good verse twenty four
the imagined nature is without self nature by definition that's pretty clear
the dependent nature again does not come into existence by itself therefore it lacks self natured and the perfected nature his absence of self nature itself or just just this
huh

hey
from madonna he does

this is twenty five must-read twenty five before i mean this
the third or parent the spawn it is the ultimate meaning of events because it is also sadness since it remains search all the time it indeed is a mere concept mere in the sense of just and just in the sense of not adding anything to it i think this is a
it really important part of this teaching
i think i read you the
now
it's really important part of the teaching and i think if we could understand what this just is it'll be very helpful to us because it doesn't say just when it's okay that's not what it means and it doesn't mean just in the sense of only it means just in the sense of that's it
bright what's in front of you is it
and that's what we'll be late to
so
but it doesn't it means not adding anything
and and it's so simple in a certain kind of way and so close to us that we miss it would just can't believe it and the reason we can't believe it is because in front of it is all of the veils and distractions and imaginings and senses of sight
operation and phone it's over which we believe and because we do we can't just let ourselves surrender to relating with just what has come to be right smack in front of us which is what you have a chance to do in zazen

if this is an interesting point what i know a faint the other day
it is the only thing that we're going to know yeah so that is if we leave it alone and just that and not give it any further meaning like for example it's real
or or substantial leaving it alone is what is recommended
just ah you know somebody says get the chair and you don't have to do anything with it you don't have to think the chair is a you don't even have to think that they share represents this a ultimately i mean if i turn this upside down and broke it up and put it into the fire be fired
wood okay
but what if somebody says go get the chair you'd get this right now instead of this
it's just that simple it's very simple as very kind of subtle in a profound early
one

right now

yes exactly

yes
exactly so for example of thought in zazen is that's it
well and you can label it labeling sometimes for some people labeling is really good especially if you have recurrent thoughts just say jealousy
and then come back jealousy come back and you don't have to impute it with some kind of meaning beyond just the thought going by
what
nothing
what was
yes the nature of everything all phenomena have these characteristics all phenomena have these characters all phenomena or phenomena have just what they are how they have arisen that such initiatives such as all phenomena are dependently cobras and they depend on other thing to her
rise and all phenomena are imbued from our point of view with this delusion of solidity or separation or hair and existence except when when we no longer a well it it keeps going like except when we know law
unger am
believe it that's the truth that's all
yet right which is brought to us in exactly the way by the bundle is tajima metric so that when we reaffirm externality that revocation in itself is completely a loot delusion an illusion
we believe in it then we act as if that's true that's the problem we act as if we really believe that everything is just separate solid chunks of things when it's not everything is really a process a function of life happening all by itself
and if we allow it to be that way that we have a chance of staying current with what's actually happening and when when we do that we don't drag the past or invent the future with just relates just to what is going on
to hear the story
this is a story i can't just suggest
hi maybe another should be home to diabetes
to off
hobby the beginning and then a little bit of the middle and and and so anyway it's about bahia not a queen really
thus have i heard that one time the lord was staying near shrub that in the jetta jetta would add another but deacons monastery at that time by here of the bark cloth was living by the seashore at supercar to par rocca he was respected river
weird honored venerated and given homage and was one who obtained the requisites of robes on food lodging and medicines
when he was in seclusion this reflection arose in the mind of bahia of the bark cloth am i one of those in the world who are our huts or who have entered the path of our hardship
baba rather than a bar
ah
then by here left's agenda grove entering travesty he saw the law he saw the lord walking for arms food pleasing lovely to say with com senses in a tranquil mind attained to perfect poison com controlled a perfect one watchful with research
dream senses
on seeing the lord he approached fell down with his head at the lord's feet and said teach me dama lord teach me dama so that it will be for my good and happiness for a long time upon being spoken to this the lord said to by yeah the barge cloth it's an unsuitable time by here
we are going for arms food
a second time
the law or he asked teach me da my lord teach me the dharma so that it will be for my good and happiness for a long time a second time the lord said it's an unsuitable time by here we are going for arms food
a third time by here said to the lord is difficult to know for certain please teach me dharma so that it will be for my good and happiness for a long time
see the way i tell us story is much better
so and then he said this
by here you should train yourself dust
in the theme will be nearly what is seen in the heard will be merely what is heard in the sensed will be merely what is sensed in the cognize will be merely what is carbonized in this way by here you should train yourself
when by here in the scene there is merely what is seen and in the cog nice merely what is cognize then you will not identify with it
you will not find yourself there
and you will not grasp after that
at that time there will be no here and know there and no in between
just this by here is the end of suffering
and then like i told you before by here continued on and then he did get gored by a snacks
you know that yet the end of the story
this the industry is
not long after the lord departure a cow with a young calf attacked by here of the bridge cause
and killed him when the lord having walk for arms food and shivaji was returning from the alms round with a number of beakers and departing from the town he saw that by of the bush club had died
seeing this he said to the beakers the monks take by his body put it on a litter carry it away and burn it make a stupid for it for your companion in the holy life has died
then the buddha said monks by here of the burj cloth was a wise person he practiced according to dharma and did not trouble me by disputing about dharma
haha
the time
he said monks by here of the birch club has attained final nirvana then on realizing insignificance the lord uttered on that occasion this inspired utterance
where neither water nor yet earth nor fire nor air gain a foothold they are gleam no stars no son sheds light their shines know mum yet there is no darkness raining when a sage has come to know this for himself through his own experience the
he is freed from form and formless creed from pleasure and pain this inspired utterance was spoken by the lord so i did here

okay folks seen only in the scene that section
if for you there will be just the scene in the sea
and if for you or when for you there will be just the heard in the heard
and through the senses of course and when for you
there will be chest the cognate for the thought in the thought

then you will not
he's writing it down
and then he'll you will not identify with it
and then they will be no here
and know there
and knowing between
hence that will be the end up settling
that such know
what
just south just a sense of shelf no problem
not a problem just an idea

now here's the interesting part one on interesting but

in twenty six as long as consciousness does not terminate in mere concept so long with a dispositions for the to full grasping not cease
as long as the mind does not stop at just this just sound just a thought just jester
cite as long as it doesn't stop if it adds anything extra to it
then grasping itself or other will continue
indeed number twenty seven
indeed one who on account of that grasping
where to play something before herself or himself saying this is bear concept
will not stop at just this
so in other words even if you say oh i'm doing this right i am stopping at nearness that in itself is grabbing onto
ha
meredith and making it an object
know it's not a problem if you're seeing it does not need to have a great
yeah

okay
a third

whether
one
where your mind though
barry
why did so
yes
yes yes and in fact
they call sometime she can gather object less awareness because there is not self and other there is just awareness happening
there i was gonna read my idea moment honey you brought in it because you know
i know i think ultimately we're all buddhists do basically the same thing at the end of the story and because at the end of the story when the self is that or minus is relaxed and released and the tendencies that the have
but tendencies or am finished you know our karmic event from the past is finished
then what is left is who we are in then we would say our original nature in a haystack wondering i've paid that were
the journal nature

i write this is from that book mujer again and this is maha ig which is one of the
hmm
it's a what it's a accomplished tibetan one of the accomplished tibet and understanding from practices and it's very like our way seems to me
the maha archie which is beyond conceptions and transcends both grasping and letting go
it okay can you got just there
maha rg which is beyond conceptions and transcends both grasping and letting go beyond conceptions doesn't mean no conception to just means don't be bothered by them
is the essence of transcendental inside
yeah that's the thing is when we first start practicing we think that these words that they used for these things are way far away from us because they found so profound but they're not it's really very close
the whole thing is very close it us because it's so close we miss it
this is the unchanging state of non meditation in which there is awareness but no clinging isn't this what we've been study is awareness but no clinging and if you claim fine just be aware of it in
don't be bothered by it
it's a difference between clinging with of self and clinging without a self one is buddhists clinging and the other one is regular old clinging
i'm not kidding
listen
music
well no one is one is like gum
you yes if you're attached but you're not you're not holding you just feel that kind of attachments that coming from a place of self you not coming from a place if i need something or i whatever and
and you're not separate from its own for example if you have pain suffering if you're not separate if you're not divided with that suffering you're really purely suffering object less suffering just suffering just like arbiter close awareness just suffering
you're suffering just as much as a diluted person suffering but it's not
ah of gonna say it's not suffering and it isn't it's not it's a different it feels different it's clear and painful but it's not
ragged and and the endless and draghi and trying to push it away and putting it on people are trying to yourself and it's not their kind of surfing it just hurts
clear not a problem that's with edge suffering without shelf
and it makes it for very different kind of life doesn't mean that you're not in pain just move it in not suffering it

yeah lol
yeah
hmm
yep contract and it turns out to struggle part is gone than a lot of the stuff that we've been struggling with that we think is so important
it kinda is
maha to is of the greatest simplicity it just is what is it cannot be shown by analogy nothing can is obstructed it's without limitation and transcends all extremes it's clear cut newness which can never change its shape or color
when you become one with his state
state the desire to meditate itself dissolves and you are freed from the chain of meditation and philosophy and conviction is born with you and you the sinker has deserted there is no longer in a bit benefit to be gained from good thoughts and no harm is to be suffered from bad thoughts
they're just thoughts just the cognize in the cognize touch him
look out for the subtle hindrance of trying to analyze experiences this is a great danger
the remedy is the wisdom of miss
it's a mistake to try to concentrate on emptiness after meditation intellectually to regard everything is a mirage primordial insight is the state which is not influenced by undergrowth of thoughts it's a mistake to be on guard against the wandering mind or to try and impose
in an aesthetic practice of suppressing thoughts interesting
so delusion is not a problem they are just thoughts
coined by
the state of non meditation is born in the heart when when no longer discriminates between meditation at non meditation and one is no longer tempted to change or prolong the state of meditation other words just awareness
when we speak of clarity we are referring to that state which is free from slough and dullness
the absence of thoughts does not mean unconsciousness or sleep or withdraw from the senses but simply being unmoved by conflict
concept don't be bothered with it
cortana easier said than done but
get her effort

to do
then he says about voidness don't make it into a thing

if the meditators able to use whatever occurs in their life as the path the body becomes a retreat hut he or she does not need to add up the number of years they have been meditating and does not panic when shocking thoughts arise for awareness remains unbroken
and like that of an old person watching a child at play
so i think that's a really good suggestion that when we sitting in meditation in these thoughts that usually would distract us are now we would want to rush after them are happening just think that you're listening to some trial talking yes yes i know
you know i want this either yes yes yes i know yet if i navy so we can't you know ignore them they're actually happening but we can mislead them in a different kind of way and if we're caught fine than just damn
some gentleness you know with the realization that this takes a while and it's not gonna happen overnight and those thoughts ultimately or what are you know so-called deluded thoughts are awake thought anyway ultimately so we don't have to struggle with it so much we just have to gently come back
and remind ourselves that the practice that we're trying to do is just simply allow the awareness which is what we are any way to be berthed not not even birth to be ah exposed be just a big plane
because i was gonna read you the trungpa at the end but
and he can he do
know what i'd like to do tomorrow we'll get to the end of it tomorrow anyway
because there's so few but i'm wondering if maybe maybe tomorrow we can just dumb go around the room and somebody could say their own version of verse one in their own version of first to in their own version of those three and so on and we can maybe do the whole thing
by you know just done
reading it
through the whole new everybody the bed via your best shot of whatever you think it it is
do you think it we can do that or is anybody making your own version you not
you are i call on you if you not and don't raise your hand and i won't con
so let me just don't do it
have the whole thing and been my couponer and wanted to just go over it a little bit

pics
how would i say one of the thing about how it is it we suffer
you know there are compassion practices that we do that can help when we are in difficulty
tomlin is this is ostensibly simple it's hard to do sometimes we slip right off it but if we just do the kind of basic kind of easy version of it if you're suffering then you know yourself you don't know what to do with it you can't kind of get out of it sometimes it's really helpful joe
as to feel like
you because you know how much painful it is how painful it is for you than you might condition there's you know in us we really do want to relieve everybody of suffering i mean in inside and all of us i think feel that way so you can kind of drawn
that very deep
yearning to help people in that way to have people not suffer and you can think of yourself as a drawing all of the pain of exactly the people who are in exactly the kind of pain that you're having right now whether it's struggle or know i'm know
whipping yourself calling yourself a failure or whatever kind of thing you're doing and just bring all of that pain ah you of suck it into you and then breathe out on the outbreak whatever antidote for that you can imagine might be like cool nurse
or com or joy or whatever it is just try to exchange that with all these other people and sometimes it's helpful sometimes it works and another one that you can do is since the net decide in a very very simple kind of way i just wrote a few down just for myself
you can always say may i be free of suffering in the root of suffering always just as a mantra in your meditation over and over again
you can say me i develop loving kindness for myself and others
may i accept all situations and emotions without reservation
just trying to relax and open to whatever is happening
may i rest in the bodily experience i am having now
good one
may my suffering help and heal people in pain
and may my suffering soften me
may i be shortened by my suffering
so
you know the studying of this text is only
to help us
ah
ah
wake up and release ourselves from the bondage of thinking of self and other in that kind of suffering so that we can be available to other people in in exactly this way i really truly believe that this underneath it all is exactly what we want to do
so the words in the you know ideas of the text and so on although fun to stay and and then talk about
they're really pointing us to a kind of meditation to a way of being with their selves in the present moment that is release
from bondage to the idea of self another released from grasping all the time to r are tiring six burden of carrying herself with us
oh and in all of our life situations
if we can just put it down
to set it down it's so exhausting
it's so tiring
hand if he can't put it down and he might well enjoy it
because you're stuck with it them
i was talking to somebody this morning and i think of this morning i sang them i had this vicious headache this morning i get these sinus headaches that it just
very intense and then
i was no one of my eyes with closing like and is hard to to talk actually with another person barriers explaining to them this thing that i was telling you the other day about demons and how big they can be your particular demon
and then
ah slowly you know if we let ourselves if we open to the demon whatever that is for you if we open to them and dumb
the movie is using a movie that beautiful mind beautiful mind
is very buddhist movie if you were the story is is this guy is basically for schizophrenia and have demons he sees demons and start of the movie he she has a roommate and he's having this relationship with his roommate and roommate throws the desk out the window so forth and may have an argument and baba and you're totally bought it that's
the story watching a movie it's happening it looks real the you just as real as it looks to him a guy turns out later you learn that his roommate was just a site called logical a delusion that he didn't have a roommate at all he was living by himself in the room and
the story continues and so on and you begin to realize that he seeing his demons just like they're just real just like my demon was huge demons huge have a then when he begins to want to be free when he under is beginning to understand that they are not really real
what if the first thing he does with them in the movie as he tries to
you'll get them out of there and so what you see him doing next it and now you know their demons also or elute delusions whatever he starts yelling at them whenever the guy comes toward him he is a teacher in schools and whenever the this his demon person comes toward him he turns around and starts yelling at him
get out of here i don't want to see you and go away i know your fake get out of here and the guy just you know loves it he argues bag you know don't tell me that i'm gonna whatever it if they get strong and yet really strong so it's the same exact with us if we buy into it then you know that he throws the desk out the window and you're completely
involved in the story the relationship of you and whatever your particular demon is half in the story and if we push away what we think of our our demons or be pushed them away we give them energy same thing they get just as strong and later on in the movie is great thing happens he decides where what he's going
to do is completely just ignore them
they don't go away but what happens is the next scene that you see as he's walking down the path in his school and the demons or there and end not paying any attention to him and furnished they go what's the matter with you you know you can't just ignore me pay attention to me as can be really a problem because they're you know your
sure you really are a spy and we're going to whatever the story was going he said and one of the demons was a little girl and she's sitting on the curb and he walked by and notes her and walks by and then he keeps ignoring them and then the next thing that happens is he's walking down the same road and that his demon is walking with him but he's not saying anything
and the next thing that happens is is walking down the road and the little girl is sitting there on the curb and she's not saying anything and she just looks really lonely she's sitting in
and he tells her i miss you too okay
i keep walking and this is really exactly what happened that if we just ignore these thoughts and emotions it slowly they may when their if we don't give them energy they just wither
so we don't have to like beat them up and get rid of them and feel really bad about it we just have to
be friends with them and ignore them like says if he or she says just don't invite them to team
yeah

he
me
maybe
what that's a good point
i think one way to tell is that when we're really caught we don't have a defensive awareness there
no basically what your mind is is doing the stories over and over there is not a yourself that awareness watching the suffering you know we're just there's no awareness there there's just and i don't mean just suffering in the way i was talking with you being one with it being mama that you're still
liz awareness has completely there he was feeling it i think see if checked it out and see if that's not the case you really just believing the whole thing
okay