Good morning. It occurred to me as we were starting to chant, the thought that occurred to me was all this pomp and circumstance is just about energy. It's just about creating the moment. Part of the reason that thought occurred to me was because what I wanted to talk about was energy. Turn it up a little bit. Can you hear okay? A little more. How about now? Can I do it? Yeah. What I wanted to talk about was energy.

[01:01]

which is the third paramita. In a list of Buddhist teachings, there are either six or ten, but when there are six paramitas, the fourth one is energy. And they're described as perfections or ideals. In practicing with an ideal, it's a tricky proposition. you can always find good evidence that you're falling short of the ideal. But the function of an ideal is to offer us a guiding light, a reference point, and hopefully an inspiration, an aspiration, rather than a new and improved form of self-criticism. So the first paramita is giving.

[02:12]

How do we shift from a sense of scarcity and separateness to a sense of abundance and connectedness? Do we wait until we feel it and then give, or do we give and let that enable the feeling of abundance and connection? The second paramita is sila, right conduct. Again, do we wait until we feel virtuous and behave in a certain way, or do we behave in a certain way and let that enable kind of innate goodness? That when our heart is settled, it's more of a relief than a restriction. The third paramita, It's kshanti, patience. That's shifting from reactiveness to experiencing the difficulty, the agitation.

[03:20]

And then let it yield its own insight. Just by being present and open to it. And then that presence and openness with the experience of being human gives rise to energy. Energy is a very interesting proposition. You can be energetically angry or you can be energetically exalted by the sacredness of the moment. Our emotions, negative and positive, can give rise to energy. Fundamentally, in Buddhist thinking, energy is neutral. It's the vitality of life.

[04:27]

The word in Sanskrit is viriyo, is in virile and vital. And then as that energy finds its intimate relationship, then absorption, then being engaged fully, wholeheartedly in what's happening, and then that gives it rise to prajna, wisdom, seeing truly the nature of what is. So I'd like to talk about those in relationship to a poem. It's a little bit like a repeat of the pomp and circumstance of our opening chants.

[05:29]

You make a big deal of how you enter the room. You do it all exactly. Step here, stop here, bow here, step here, bow here, move there, sit down. It creates the moment. And of course, that's an absurdity. The moment's already completely created. There's something about Bringing forth a particularity or recognizing a particularity that lets us savor or appreciate or get in touch with what's happening. So that's how I understand this poem. You can understand it any way you like. That's how I understand it. The loud voice is famous to silence.

[06:34]

The sleeping cat on the fence is famous to the birds. The tear is famous briefly to the cheek. The idea you carry close to your bosom is famous to your bosom. The boot is famous to the earth. The bent photograph is famous to the one who carries it. Of course, the word famous is sort of being bent into a more universal quality, giving us a sense that I think is akin to this kind of energetic relationship to our experience. It's not some dry process of awareness, noting the moment in some kind of neutral way.

[07:47]

And quite naturally, because of our being, each moment is famous just by the circumstance and the context within which it's created. This is energy. It's not exactly... that we create the energy, it's more that we participate in it. It's always flowing through every moment. But what is it to participate in a way that lets it flow? In contrast to the ways in which we might experience it as not enough or too much, or not flowing the way we want it to, So in the process of meditation, you know, we enter through the particular of posture and breath and paying attention to their rising experience.

[09:07]

Just the same way, you know, when the lecturer enters through the particularity of how do you enter. You just don't do it any way you want. You do it in a prescribed manner. And something comes alive. So the same in meditation. In Zen meditation and most awareness meditation, formal meditations. There's a particularity to how you engage the moment. And in that particularity initiates our experience of the innate energy of the moment the particularity attending to the particularity initiates the innate energy of the moment and then usually for us as humans that's just an amazing array of thoughts of feelings of images of memories of hopes of fears

[10:21]

And we imbue them with our passion. So today, over 70 hours, we're going to sit all day. And usually when you settle into your sitting, all this stuff goes on. From the outside, you look serene, Buddha-like. And then inside, all sorts of stuff is going on. And can that stuff, can that array of human experience, that passionate endeavor to discover what it is to be alive, what it is to be happy, what it is to have some sense of freedom rather than some sense of lacking in limitations? That's held in the first three paramitas.

[11:26]

To approach it more with benevolence and curiosity. This is dhana. This giving and receiving with a sense of benevolence. To take on the form, the particular, the right conduct, the conduct conducive to awakening. There's something about the prescription in its exactness that enables us to see the energy of the moment, enables us to make contact with it, enables us to feel it, enables us to stay upright in the middle of it and see the nature of life. And then from often this, as we bring forth this benevolent right conduct, it creates, it has a disturbance.

[12:44]

It's not enough. It's too much. It's a painful memory. It's our nature. It's the nature of our psyche to resurrect. that unfinished business. To feel again the pain of that unsatisfactory exchange. And the challenge of crescenti is to shift from being agitated To just letting it be what it is. And that's an extraordinary pivotal moment in practice. To be able to notice how we're struggling or we're anxious or agitated or fearful or sad.

[13:50]

And just let it be what it is. Okay. And also with the positive emotions. It's like to not be intoxicated by them. Exuberance. Gratefulness. To let them have some selfless quality. and then to see not only how this moment has its own energy, but how it also has its own context. The energy of this anger has a story to it. The energy to this yearning has a story to it.

[14:53]

So in this poem, There's a story to each famous moment. The lying voice is famous to silence, which knew it would inherit the earth before anyone said so. The cat sleeping on the fence is famous to the birds, watching him from the birdhouse. The tear is famous briefly to the cheek. There's no story to that. Maybe we all know the story. Some stories are best left to your imagination, are best described by your own imagination. The idea you carry close to your bosom is famous to your bosom.

[16:01]

You know, the challenge of awareness meditation is to hold true to that which is most vitally significant, important, passionate for us. And sometimes it feels like, can we let what we're experiencing break our heart? Can it break it with sadness? Can it break it with joy? Either way, can we stay true to that? Can we stay right there with that? The boot is famous to the earth. More famous than the dress shoe, which is famous only to floors. The bent photograph is famous to the one who carries it. And not at all famous.

[17:14]

to the one who is pictured. So to recognize that this is a deeply personal engagement. This passionate arising is extraordinarily unique. And in Zen practice, we say, let the passionate arising define you. Define what it is to be this one, rather than you endeavor to define it. So how do we stay upright? How do we stay... connected, allowing the energy to flow rather than struggling with it, struggling against it, trying to deny it.

[18:26]

So certainly in meditation, this is more of a felt experience. And in our lives, this can also have I was in a meeting a couple of days ago and someone said something to me that I didn't like. And I had an energetic surge of emotion. a little thin on the benevolence too. And as I think, as happens to many of us, you have a surge of emotion, but you can't immediately jump up and start screaming and yelling. It's not quite the situation for it.

[19:38]

So I felt this surge of emotion. And then I watched my mind sort of be reasonable. Well, you know, that person's just coming from their point of view and they're saying how it is for them and that's influencing how they're addressing you. Okay. But emotionally, it's like, that was not okay. That was really not okay. In fact, it was like, in some odd and wonderful way, it was like a lifetime of not okay. It was like, how many times

[20:41]

Have I been spoken to in a way that disregarded who I am, that didn't address me or relate to me in a way that allowed me to have my own truth and opinion? I grew up in a society where there was kind of like two tiers, and unfortunately, or fortunately, maybe fortunately, I think I appreciated a lot at this point. I was on the lower tier. And that just popped up energetically. It had its moment of fame. And I try to watch that and feel that and make space for it.

[21:52]

Somehow that is a notion that occurs to me as useful. It's like, can you make space? In your inner world, can there be space for this intensity? To me, it often feels like there's a contraction. We have a difficult experience and we contract. And then sometimes we contract and we spit it out. How dare you say that to me? Or whatever. But just to breathe and let something expand and let it be itself. This is the benevolence, the right conduct, the patience. And in a way it has its own precision. And in a way, it gives rise to its own authority. This is the person that's this one at this moment.

[23:02]

This is the display of my conditioned existence. And when it's allowed to just be itself, in an amazing way, it becomes impersonal. It just becomes the intensity of experience that maybe everyone in the whole world has experienced. Of not being deeply appreciated, acknowledged, and listened to. So that's an is nothing more than to sit with this deep willingness to let this energetic passion of a human life flow. And to attend to it with this benevolent presence.

[24:05]

And to not, you know, it would be wonderful if our whole life was just this flow of pure energy. It just passed through us these wonderful images in Zen. Just be the bamboo blowing in the wind. The leaf fluttering on the tree. Just savor the marvelous occurrence of being human. Which is wonderful. And it's another ideal. You know, this is one of the ideals of energy. So it's an aspiration. So we shouldn't forget that our humanness puts it into a context, you know, makes it a little sticky. It's not quite that simple.

[25:13]

Except when it is that simple. And you know, part of the magic of poetry is that it asks us, it invites us to savor. Savor that moment. So as I made space for that, which I experienced at the time, painful. That was a painful moment for me. Painful not just because of the upsurge, of difficult feeling, but the kind of nebulous not okayness. How will I relate to this person now? Are they still my friend or are they my enemy? Should I just forget this or should I make a point of talking to this person about it?

[26:18]

This is kind of the questions of our life. So the energy has its energetic expression. It has its context. And then it's like that context has another context of the continuity of your life. We don't live, we do live in discrete moments, but those discrete moments occur in a context. Do I think my friends and the people I work closely with should be utterly unaware of how their words affect me? Actually, I don't. Do I think it's entirely their responsibility to make sure they never touch my sensitive points? Well, that doesn't seem too reasonable either. But there's something in the way in which if we can relate to the energy of it, instead of it being a rigid, fixed world, it's more interactive.

[27:40]

It sort of rises and falls. It gives rise to occasion. And occasion gives rise to a particular context. And that can be related to. And then we start to see a more thorough going sense of practice. How do you skillfully respond and engage the passion of your life? What's a skillful relationship to our energy? So to me it has something to do with this savoring its momentary occurrence, pleasant or unpleasant. Let it be famous.

[28:45]

That famous moment where someone hurt my feelings. Personally, what I've learned from practicing all these years is in a way to be kind of shameless about my own irrationality. Sometimes all you can do is just shake your head and smile at yourself. It's not all you can do, but sometimes it's actually a helpful thing to do. And then approach it with a kind of bemused curiosity rather than some desperate mission, either to escape pain or wreak revenge.

[29:52]

The first line of the poem I actually avoided because I have to confess I didn't quite agree with it. But I guess in honor to the poet who I appreciate and like a great deal, I'll read it. Naomi Shihab Nye. The river is famous to the fish. I think that's advanced practice. The river is famous to the fish. Sometimes we're so much taking for granted the context that we're just swimming in. Usually we're just swimming in a river. of thoughts and feelings and we're delighted and dismayed and we're angry and hurt and amused and confused.

[31:10]

And we just swim in this river and we don't notice. And why is it that we need to, you know, create a whole pump and circumstance just so we can be the one we already are? Well, apparently we do. Apparently it helps. So when I read the first line, I thought, hmm, is the river famous to the fish? Well, of course, I don't know. I have to acknowledge that. The line voice is famous to silence. The reason I wanted to relate to a poem was the kind of creative tension between maybe more discursive talking and the kind of imagery of a poem.

[32:23]

You know, so often when we pay closer attention to our experience, We do see that it's not so rational. But also, it's imagery. It's like significant moment connecting to other significant moments. If I think with a psychological mind, what was that upswelling of passion? What moment did that resonate in my life, or what moments? the contrast and the connection the live voice is famous to silence which knew it would inherit the earth before anyone said so there's an empowerment

[33:34]

in being present this moment is completely itself to be this one is to be complete to be here fully is to give this experience the fullness of itself to acknowledge that it is just itself and completely itself. That it's famous, famously itself. The cat sleeping on the fence is famous to the birds watching him from the birdhouse. Fame is contextual.

[34:45]

Our thoughts arise and generate a context. The point of Zazen is not to stay in this spacious nothingness. The point of zazen is to let each context arise, express its energy, and dissipate. The point of zazen is to let zazen flow through this body and breath and mind and heart. To discover it's okay to be human it's not always easy it's not always clear but it has its own fundamental innate authority the tear is famous briefly to the cheek no commentary needed the Buddha

[36:02]

is famous to the earth, more famous than the dress shoe, which is famous only to floors. Context. Sometimes we see the context of our own experience and it gives us an inference to the nature of our shared human experience. who has not felt slighted or unacknowledged. The bent photograph is famous to the one who carries it and not at all famous to the one who is pictured. Each of us has our own treasured positive and negative experiences. that are an energetic source and reference in our lives.

[37:05]

Doesn't mean the other person or the other players in our drama have the same experience. And then she continues in a wonderful, sweet way. As we meet ourselves, it prepares us to take up The wonderful question. Okay, now what? You know? Do I yell and scream and kick and shout? Or what? Or do I go home and go into bed and pull the covers over my head? I want to be famous, the shuffling man who smiled while crossing streets. Sticky children in grocery lines. Famous as the one who smiled back. I want to be famous in the way a pulley is famous, or a buttonhole.

[38:12]

Not because it did anything spectacular, but because it never forgot what it could do. As each moment has its own fullness, its own authority. It's like it has nothing to prove. But it does have its own function. It does have its own place in the family of things. How do we find that? How do we find our place in the family of six billion people?

[39:13]

How do we live in a world without holding others responsible for our experience or depending upon them to validate us, but somehow to know our place, to know our function, to engage with basic goodness and compassion, to be known as the one who smiled back. practice awareness and we pick up its challenges and maybe sometimes it feels like it breaks our heart in the process of opening our heart so be it

[40:43]

In Zen we say, this is the Buddha way. This is the ripening of Buddha nature. But I think it also has its tender hardness. So to let that come forth in our sitting, in our practice too,

[41:19]

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