This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Perhaps I could tell some stories tonight. One story is that once upon a time, there was life. And life was just life. And the way it was, was perfect and all-pervading.

[01:07]

And this life can take on two aspects. Life itself is just life itself. And in being itself, it has no aspects. But it can take on two aspects depending on the understanding of living beings. Living beings who have minds which construct appearances, they see life as what we call samsara, or they see life having birth and death. They see life as arising and ceasing. But when we see that these appearances are just appearances, then life takes on the aspect which we call peace or freedom from birth and death.

[02:42]

Or we also call that nirvana. But actually, the way of the Buddhas... really is neither birth and death, nor freedom from birth or death. The Buddha way is not actually in nirvana. And of course, it's not, I shouldn't say, it doesn't abide in nirvana. It doesn't abide in freedom from birth and death. and it doesn't abide in birth and death, because it is free from birth and death. But it doesn't abide in freedom from birth and death. So the Buddha way is actually neither nirvana nor samsara, for the Buddhas neither exist. However, they do exist when we grasp what we know as reality,

[03:53]

then we have samsara. And when we realize that that appearance is not reality, then we have nirvana. So nirvana appears that way, exists that way, but the Buddha way, although pervading nirvana and pervading samsara, doesn't abide in either. Most living beings for whom the teachings of the Buddhas is primarily directed to living beings, most of them live in the realm we call birth and death. For most living beings, the teaching for them is all you know is appearances. All we know is appearances.

[04:58]

All we know is the workings of our mind. We are enclosed in the appearances that our mind creates of our life. We have a life and our life is not an appearance. Our life is what it is. It's not an appearance. But we can't know what it is. It's impossible to know the reality of our life And we have a long-standing addiction to making appearances out of our life so that we can know our life. But the life we know is just a mental construction, which we believe is our life. For example, we may have a mental construction, our life is going well. Or a mental construction, our life is going really badly. and our friends' lives are going badly, or our friends' lives are going well.

[06:00]

These are examples of things that can appear to us, and what we're looking at when we see such things is a mental construction, an appearance, and we can know these things. However, living within these constructions is birth and death. It's a mistake which sentient beings makes. are normally involved in. We are subjugated by the perspective of our mind. Our main problem is our mind, which appears to us in a way that we can know and we are addicted to grasping it in a knowable form, and that's our problem. However, there's a teaching which tells us that that's what we're up to. We have this teaching saying what we're dealing with is our mind all the time.

[07:08]

We're always looking at our mind. When we look at other people, we are looking at other people, but we don't see them. What we see is our story about them. So here's a person who I've been calling Eric lately. So Eric... is a person who I call Eric. But what I see when I look at Eric is my mind. My mind, what is it called? It obscures my relationship with Eric. But at least I know Eric. because I can know my mind. But what Eric is, is not my mind. He's free of my mind. He's not beyond my mind. Because beyond my mind, there's no such thing as beyond my mind.

[08:14]

Except, because beyond my mind is just another mind thing. What Eric is, what all of you are, is inconceivable... ungraspable life which is impossible to know but is possible to realize and the way of realizing it is to face the teaching that what we're working with is our mind be kind to that and become free of the standpoint of mind and then without getting rid of the standpoint of mind without removing the appearance of things we develop an intimate, direct realization of our life, which is free of birth and death, and it's also free of freedom from birth and death. It can use freedom from birth and death to free beings from birth and death, because it is freedom from birth and death.

[09:22]

So... Everything that we know is appearance and all appearances can be dealt with. We can learn to deal with all appearances with compassion. And if we can deal with all appearances with compassion, we can also deal with appearances with wisdom. I saw in the Kaisando walkway there's a whiteboard that had these basic compassion practices listed on it. Giving, ethical discipline, patience, diligence, concentration, and wisdom. These are the six basic bodhisattva training methods by which

[10:29]

we can deal with our mind and become free of our mind and realize our life, which is free of suffering and free of freedom from suffering. A lot of people say, they say, kindness and generosity which is okay but generosity is the basic form of kindness when beings are living within their minds and suffering there because they believe their minds are something other than their minds when beings are living in the enclosure of their minds and suffering there if they're generous towards the appearances of their mind and careful with the appearances of their mind and patient with the appearances of their mind these beings are benefited by those practices and based on those practices one can generate great enthusiasm for those practices in order to do

[11:57]

The first three bodhisattva methods, you have to have some diligence, some interest, some energy for those practices. But based on practicing those three practices, did I say four practices? Those three practices. Based on those three practices, you can have much more energy for them. And you can also have the energy for practicing concentration. In order to become free of our minds, we have to concentrate on the teaching that what we're dealing with is our mind, and we have to concentrate on the appearances of our mind, each one. But concentration, which many people here are trying to develop, is actually difficult to practice if you're not already practicing generosity, ethics, and patience.

[13:00]

Many students come to Zen practice and they immediately try to practice concentration. Some are successful, but many are not because they're not generous towards the appearances which their mind generates. So, for example, they sit and they notice that they're distracted or agitated. and they're not generous towards that distraction and they try to get control of the distraction and turn it into concentration without being generous towards it usually that makes the agitation it aggravates it if you try to control it it aggravates it if you don't treat it with graciousness it flares up when you're mean to it by not being gracious. But if you're agitated, if you're distracted, and you say, welcome distraction, you calm down a little.

[14:08]

If you really say thank you to distraction, you calm down a little. But now that you've graciously welcomed your state, which might be distraction, The next step is be careful of it because distraction is potentially distracting. If you're not careful of it, even though you've now treated it with respect and kindness, if you're not careful of it, it can continue to disturb you. But if you're careful of it, you calm down more. And again, careful doesn't mean control. It means don't kill it. Don't lie about it. Don't try to get some other state. Don't slander it. Don't think you're better than it or somebody else is better than it. Don't intoxicate yourself about it. And so on. Don't try to get a hold of it.

[15:13]

Don't try to control it. Don't try to push it away. Be careful of it. And then be patient with distraction. Be present with it. being present with distraction, you become more calm. And then you have some energy to now really focus on what's happening and be open even more to this distraction and be calm with distraction or anything else. And now that you've concentrated, you can concentrate perhaps, on the teaching, which is what you're knowing, what appears, is nothing but mind. And nothing but mind is not the same as saying there is nothing but mind.

[16:15]

This is not saying what is and isn't, it's saying what we are looking at. sentient beings usually when they're looking at someone they're seeing their own mind and they think their mind is something other than their mind. Other people are other than us but we see our mental version of them because our mental version of them can be known. But the reality of another person cannot be known, but can be realized when we become free of our addiction to knowing. But again, to become free of our addiction to knowing, we have to be kind to our addiction to knowing.

[17:25]

Our addiction to knowing. And we need to be patient with the inconsistency of our kindness. We see someone means we see our version of the person. And our version of the person is that they're perhaps inquiring about what we're doing more than we would like them to. That's our story about them. And we feel irritated by that story. If we knew it was a story, we might not be irritated about it, but we think it's that person, so we get irritated with the person rather than irritated with our story about them. But we probably wouldn't be irritated with our story about them if we remembered the teaching, this is a story about them.

[18:27]

I think this person is being snoopy or nosy about me. One time, I had one time in the past, there was a person who had the same name as me. He was like... about 28 years younger than I am now. And he had a daughter. And she had a friend visiting, staying overnight. And they had a really nice time together. They were just really cozy and friendly with each other. And they just really had a lovely, what do you call it, sleepover. And then the next day, they spend most of the day together, and then this girl's mother came to pick her up.

[19:39]

And the girl went, and her mother was sitting in a chair, I think, and the girl went and jumped up and sat on her mother's lap and hugged her and stayed on her lap. And then the mother and the girl left, and after they left, my daughter said, She did that just to hurt my feelings. She left me and went and jumped on her mom's laugh just to hurt my feelings. That was her story about her friend. And that story, she thought, was about her friend rather than her story, and therefore she felt hurt. And she even thought her friend... did the thing which she had the story about in order to hurt her. And then an hour or so later, this daughter was sitting on the lap of this person who has the same name as me. And her mother said to her, are you sitting on his lap just to hurt my feelings?

[20:47]

And that daughter said, OK, I'll give her another chance. I'll watch her at school tomorrow. When that girl came home from school, I don't remember if it was her mother that asked her or if it was that person that has my name that lived at that time, asked her. But we said, how did school go? And she said, well, I watched her and I noticed that I got angry at her because of what I thought about her. She stumbled upon the Buddha's teaching that we get angry at people or whatever about people by what we think about them. And sometimes we think things about them and we think, oh, how wonderful. I feel so happy. The story we have about them we think makes us happy.

[21:51]

That doesn't sound too bad. However, that realm where we have a story that makes us happy is the realm of birth and death. Still, it's in closing. Still, we're confused that we think that our nice story about someone is the person. And some people, if you tell them, I have this story about you that you're like one of the greatest people of all time, but I know it's just a story, they would say, actually, it's not a story. That's actually true. Well, it is true. It's just that the way they're a wonderful person is not our story of their wonderful personhood. The teaching that everything we know in the realm of our mind is our mind is for the sake of liberating us from the standpoint of mind.

[23:04]

It's not to destroy the mind. It's not to tamper with it in the slightest. It's to be kind to it so that we can understand it and be free of it. All of our problems occur within the standpoint of mind. Outside the standpoint of mind, not outside, or when we're not confined by the standpoint of mind, we have the great way of the Buddhas, which is free of the standpoint of mind and even free of peace. But of course, it is peaceful. It's just that it doesn't abide in peace, which is even a deeper peace, which we don't abide in. Here's another story.

[24:09]

Forty-five years and three days ago, I entered this valley. for the first time. Before I came, I heard that it was a valley. When I got here, I thought, this isn't a valley. This is like a canyon, or I don't know what. For me, a valley is something more like a green gulch. The hills are not so steep. A valley could even be flatter than green gulch, have hills that are even not as steep as green gulch. I was a little disappointed by this valley. But anyway, for me, it's almost the 45th anniversary of me coming here was three days ago. Thursday, I guess. Actually, maybe it's more than three days ago.

[25:18]

Friday, this day's Saturday, right? Friday's one day ago, right? Thursday's two days ago. Wednesday, it was Wednesday, the 22nd. 45 years ago on the 22nd I came here. And as I mentioned before, I thought it didn't smell very nice. And there were much more flies then than there are here now. They used to serve meat here. And so a lot of flies were here. I didn't like the place, so I left. But after I left, I thought, hmm, and I came back. Also today is another story. This is a story, right? I'll tell you a story.

[26:20]

This is a story that occurred within my mind which I want to be kind to. Like the story that I came here 45 years and three days ago. I want to be kind to these stories. I want to be respectful of these stories. I want to be generous to these stories. I want to be careful of these stories so I can be free of them. And I'm telling you these stories to offer us an opportunity to be compassionate towards them. A little exercise, an example of something to be kind to. I met a woman who was here for a one-day sitting today. She came from Monterey, California. And she was a friend of a woman I knew, so I got introduced to her. And she said, She mentioned to me, I came here in 1967, 45 years ago.

[27:22]

And I came here with Suzuki Roshi to write an article for Time Magazine. I heard about this place. I heard it was the first Zen monastery in the West. So I told my people at my magazine that I'd like to write an article. So they said, OK. And so she came in with the Zikiroshi 45 years ago, about now, to write the article. And as part of her visit, she was brought into the Zendo, which used to be down where the student eating area is. And she went in there, she said, and she was there for 10 minutes. And the story she had of practicing Zen was... She thought that story was a story she didn't feel generous towards. And she said, I won't have anything to do with Zen. Ten minutes was already too much for her. But now today, she's back here in this Zen-do and sitting all day.

[28:28]

And she says, isn't that amazing how things evolve? Now she can sit here all day with her stories of Zen and be kind to them. All Zen students, all living beings who are Zen students, almost all, I had this story, that most of them had stories of being a Zen student. And some of them have a story that they're a good Zen student. Some have stories that they're a mediocre Zen student. Some have stories that they're excellent Zen students. Some have stories that they don't know how they can tell if they really are a good Zen student or not. My story about me is I was never sure if I was a good Zen student or not. I never was sure. I never even thought about being sure. That's my story. But some other people actually tell me, how can I know if I'm a good Zen student or not?

[29:31]

And I don't know. Actually, I guess one way to know is that you would have a story that you're a good Zen student, and then you would believe that story. Then you would know that you were a good Zen student. I can, however, tell you that I have had this story. The story has crossed my mind. After quite a few years of practice, the thought did cross my mind. Maybe I am a good Zen student. That thought crossed my mind. And I thought, well, maybe so. Maybe this could be happening. But I think it's clear to you what I want is I want to be free of stories about how good a Zen student I am, And I want to be free of stories about how good a Zen student you are.

[30:45]

And I want to be free of stories that you aren't Zen students or that you are Zen students. I want to be free of stories that you're Catholic or that you're a woman or that you're a man. I want to be free of those stories. And the reason I want to be free of those stories is because if I'm not free of those stories, not free and if I am free of those stories I am free and then if I am free I want to be free of that story too and I told you how to be free and it's really very simple but very hard it's very hard to be gracious to everything but that is the way of freedom from our minds is to be gracious to everything that appears, to everything that you know, which means to be gracious to your mind.

[31:51]

And if you're gracious to your mind and then careful of your mind and patient with your mind and diligent with your mind and calm with your mind, you will be wise with your mind. And when you're wise with your mind, you'll be free of it. And when you're free of your mind, that's freedom. Because the only thing that confines us The only thing that traps us is our mind. Nothing in the world, nothing in the universe can confine us except our mind. If you tie up a person who's free of their mind in a million knots and they have a story that they're tied up in a million knots and you check how many knots are you tied up into and they say one million. if they're free of that story they're free so we can become free of our mind and realize our actual life which is free of birth and death and free of nirvana we must be kind to every appearance of it then we can understand the teaching and liberate beings from suffering and liberate beings from freedom

[33:14]

and realized the great way. Very simple. But really hard, really hard when people look at us like they hate us. In other words, when our mind creates, this face hates me. And then you say to the person, you know, I have this fantasy that you hate me. And then we hear them say, I do. So our mind creates this image of their face, looks like they hate us. We think we hear that they confirm it. It's hard to say, thank you very much, welcome. And then again, be careful and patient and calm with that. And then hear the teaching all the while. And remember the teaching all the while. It's hard. But... The story is, from the historical Buddha, beings have realized this way.

[34:21]

They have. There are beings who have realized this. Beings who have realized freedom from their mind, freedom from the addiction to knowing things rather than actually realizing them, freedom from our addiction to make our life knowable, which separates us. in an illusory way, but separates us from the actual inconceivable wonder of life. Beings have realized this freedom, and they are realizing it, and we are in communication with them right now. They are supporting us to do this practice, which they have realized. We are asking them for help, whether we know it or not. Being in this room, the realized beings feel that we're asking for their help and they're saying, fine, I'm helping you by what you're doing right now. What you're doing right now is asking for help in realizing the way.

[35:28]

Sometimes we actually know there's an appearance, a perceptible appearance. a story that we are asking for help and a story that we are receiving a response. So then we have the story that we're asking and that we're being responded to. But in a reality that's not knowable to us, we're asking the awakened ones to teach us and they're teaching us. But we don't know that realm. It's not perceivable. It's not mixed with, as we say, not mixed with perceptions. That one is going on all the time. That's the great way. That's all-pervading and complete. The one that we know about is great, too, because it's just a nice story.

[36:34]

But that one is not all-pervading. That one comes and goes. the story of I'm asking for help and receiving it, that one comes and goes. But the actual request of our life for the teaching and the actual response of the teaching is going on all the time. That's the great way that's all-pervading. But again, it's not something that's known by perception, but it's realized by practice. And it's not realized without practice. What's the practice? again now, is to apply these practices of generosity and wisdom, to apply these practices of generosity and the teachings of wisdom to everything we do know, to all of our stories that are confining us. And then, when we're free of them, continue to do these practices, which we previously did, but now we do them from freedom. When we first do these practices, we do them according to our story of the practices.

[37:40]

When we become free of our story of the practices, we continue the practices, but now in a way that's not known to us, that's not perceivable, but which we do completely from our freedom and our life. Any questions? Yes? What about love stories? Love stories? Love stories are just your mind. They are just... Stories are appearances. And the story of love is like... We have this image of... What do you call it? It's like when you go out in an ocean and get far enough away from the shore... so you can't see it and there's no islands around? You think the ocean's a circle of water. That's the way it looks. Stories of love are like a circle of water in the ocean.

[38:46]

Love is an ocean, but all we can see is a circle of water. The stories of love are like a circle of water in the ocean. And it can be a really nice circle of water. Don't be afraid to admit that it's a circle of water. It's not the totality of the ocean. So you can have stories of love, love stories. It's fine. It's normal. The thing is to be free of your stories of love and enter the actuality of love. Any questions? Yes. One more question. Did Buddha know that he was enlightened? Did Buddha know that he was enlightened? So one translation is when Buddhas are truly Buddhas, they don't necessarily know that they're Buddhas.

[39:54]

Another translation is when Buddhas are truly Buddhas, they don't know that they're Buddhas. Okay? But I would say that Buddhas could know that they could have the thought, oh, I'm Buddha. They could have the story that they're Buddha. But they would understand that the story that they're Buddha is not Buddhahood. They would know that. But they don't have to be afraid of the thought, I'm Buddha, to happen to their head. It won't kill them. They just know it's a story. That's how they got to be Buddhas in the first place, is by... thoroughly understanding the delusion of all their stories. But that doesn't mean they don't have any more stories, because somebody could go up to a Buddha and say, would you please think that you're Buddha? And they'd say, fine, I just did. But they don't believe stories, I am Buddha, unquote. Quote, unquote.

[40:55]

They don't believe that. They just don't have the story. But they can do that. And bodhisattvas can think, you know, I'm a bodhisattva I have almost never in my life thought I was a bodhisattva. I just never happened to. But some bodhisattvas maybe do think that they're bodhisattvas. But you don't have to think you're a bodhisattva to be a bodhisattva. It doesn't say, you want to be a bodhisattva? Well, think you're a bodhisattva. I never heard that instruction in the scriptures anyway. If you want to be a bodhisattva, if you want to be a bodhisattva, basically it's the wanting to be a bodhisattva, not thinking that you are. If you want to be compassionate, it's basically that you want to be compassionate, not thinking that you are. So if you want to be compassionate and you take care of that, wanting to be compassionate, you will become a bodhisattva. But when you become a bodhisattva after caring for your desire to be a bodhisattva for a long time, you might never think, I'm a bodhisattva.

[41:56]

But you might on your birthday. Does that make sense? So, you can think anything you want and you will. And you do, and we do. And that is the problem. That we think. That is the problem. However, we can become free of this by being kind to it and listening to the teachings about it. We can become free. Really free. And that's the last question that I'm allowed to entertain. I'm sorry. I have a story that this is a repressive regime. It's just a story. I don't believe it. It just popped up there. I don't know where it came from. But although I can't entertain any more questions, I can tell one more story, right?

[43:02]

LAUGHTER Just one more. This is a bedtime story which I often tell at this time of year, at this time of night. And you can join in this story because you probably know it. It looks like this. Summertime The livin' is easy Fish are jumpin' And the cotton is high Your daddy's rich And your mama's good lookin' I changed this part. So rest, little baby, even while you cry.

[44:11]

No hushing of babies. One of these mornings, you're gonna rise up singing. You're gonna spread your wings. And you'll take to the sky. Until that morning, there ain't nothing can harm you. With daddy and mammy standing by. Now I really have to stop, right? That's just a story. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving.

[45:18]

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