I know it bears repeating, because it bears repeating for me. The environment, the ten thousand things, the buildings, towers, trees, chambers, animals, plants, the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, touchables and mind objects, all of that, which is arising, the reversing the thought, to think of the thinking mind, instead of thinking of those objects and elaborating them more and more, ceaselessly involving ourselves with the environment or the ten thousand things, to reverse the thought, to think of the thinking mind, to think of the mind that's thinking those things. So, that may sound like gibberish or something, but what I'm finding is that all of the teachings,

[01:08]

the Zen teachings, from the first day we received Zazen instruction, and anything you can find, points to this. So, the usual way of elaborating things, ceaselessly involving and elaborating, is something comes up and immediately there's you know, I, me and mine, or grasping, or pushing away, I like it, I don't like it, why won't it stop, this is too much, that's elaborating, those are mind, those are more concepts. The non-conceptual way of relating to whatever it is, is just awareness, just, not adding anything, but just.

[02:09]

So this is very similar to, you know, when you're cutting the carrots, just cut the carrots, right? We're often taught about kitchen practice, just, you know, there's always this word just, just wash the dishes, just wash the lettuce, just stir the soup, just, without involving further than that. This is no gap between yourself and whatever it is. There's awareness of that which is before you, and no gap, and this is very, very intimate. This is very intimate practice. What separates us and moves us away from things in a very painful and suffering way is,

[03:10]

is further elaborating concepts with more concepts. I don't like this kind of soup, I never get to do the soup, they always make me do the salad. I would like another kind of salad dressing, and on and on and on. This is suffering, this is the five grasping skandhas, this is craving, this is the endless round of birth and death, right? But those very, you know, we talk about the passions are the bodhi, or samsara is nirvana, those very arisings, when related to, with just awareness, there's a settling, or a resting, or a calming, and an intimacy, and there's the end of suffering.

[04:16]

So in the Buddha's sayings, I believe it's in Udana, utterances number eight, he says, train yourselves in just the sound within the sound, or the hearing within the hearing, just the seeing within the seeing, just the tasting within the tasting, just the touching, the touchable within the touching. Train yourself thus. So this is actually a training of the mind. We talk about practice period, another way of talking about it is training period, where we train because we need training in this way. This doesn't come naturally, although there are stories of the ancestors who perhaps had some natural gift for just the heard within the heard, or the hearing within the heard,

[05:17]

where when they heard the teachings, see, the mind becomes so calm, and unconfused, and unbewildered, that when you hear the teaching about emptiness, let's say, you hear it, and there's wisdom that arises. And the sixth ancestor was like that. He was a woodcutter, untrained, wasn't educated, couldn't read or write, and was in the marketplace, I think with wood, that he had gathered, and he heard the Diamond Sutra being chanted by some itinerant monk, and he heard these words. The Diamond Sutra is emptiness teaching, Prajnaparamita, transcendent wisdom, and it went in deeply. He really heard that.

[06:23]

So there was some settledness. His sixth ancestor, Huineng, was already settled to be able to hear, and then he went to the fifth ancestor for further teachings. So the word sasin means to touch the mind, we often translate it as to gather, collect, but it also has some associative meanings, to touch the mind, to convey the mind, and to receive the mind. So to receive the mind, meaning to receive the teachings, to be calm enough to receive the teachings of the practice, either spoken or through your body practice,

[07:27]

receiving the teachings of sitting and eating together and walking and taking your break and listening to the birds and seeing mother birds. And conveying it is with your own deportment or demeanor or way that you move and walk and serve and wash the dishes as an expression of your understanding. So to convey that to everyone. And then to touch the mind, I've never been, I never had a feeling for what it was to touch the mind, but now in practicing with turning the light back and the feeling of closeness with these objects of the senses, these sights, sounds, smells, tastes, touches, cognitions,

[08:28]

when it's just that, there's intimate feeling there, close feeling, like touching, touching our life, unmeditated, unmediated I mean, unmediated or unbuffered or with no defenses. You know, the defenses of, I don't like it and they didn't give me enough tofu or whatever we have, whatever kinds of involving conceptions arise with the sights, sounds, smells, tastes and touchables that separate us from, pull us back from, keep us defended from the exquisiteness of the actuality of intimacy and including pain. When I say exquisite, I don't mean bliss or something,

[09:34]

I mean the exquisiteness of our life which includes everything, which includes pain and suffering. So Bodhidharma says, as I said yesterday, outwardly cease from involvements, inwardly don't have coughing and sighing in the mind, with the mind like a wall, you can enter the way. So in our Fukan Sasengi, there's a line that says, totally blocked in resolute stability, well that's what it says, but of course I can't, here it is, while each lineage expresses its own style,

[10:36]

they are all simply devoted to sitting, totally blocked in resolute stability. This totally blocked in resolute stability, in other words blocked, I think we may have some associations with that, that means we're not free flowing or something like that, but this totally blocked in resolute stability is this mind like a wall, totally blocked meaning when sound comes, it's just sound, the mental representation becomes fixed as just mental representation, just sound, smell, sight, taste, or cognition, or mind object, it's just that, it's totally blocked, it's stable, just like that. And this stable, totally blocked,

[11:46]

fixedly sitting, is also think not thinking, so in the Fukanza Sengi, Dogen says, think not thinking, how do you think not thinking? Non-thinking, this in itself is the essential art of Zazen, this is also mind like a wall, so think, regular think is shi-ryo, and not thinking is fu-shi-ryo, non-thinking is hi-shi-ryo, so these are all working with the word to think, so we're not saying when things come up that you should try and stop your thinking mind, nor are we saying you should follow and elaborate

[12:50]

and get involved, that would be the regular old thinking, so it's think not thinking, how do you think not thinking? Non-thinking, this is reverse the thought, to think of the thinking mind, the mind that thinks sight, sound, smell, taste, just that, think of that mind, and that's a kind of non-thinking, it's not our regular usual way, or sometimes it's called beyond thinking, and there's great happiness there, in just staying with whatever arises, and there's always something, even boredom as mind object,

[13:53]

just boredom, so the intimate feeling of just touching, just touching the mind, working in this way, which is how it naturally works, and we're often so estranged from our own functioning mind, the natural functioning of our mind, we sometimes feel like we're so far away, and so lost, bereft, and yet it's always available, and never graspable, there's so many teachings about it's right under your foot, why go to the dusty realms of other lands, if you make one misstep, you're far from its environs,

[14:56]

and so forth, hair's breadth deviation, this is all talking about the same thing, a hair's breadth deviation from the sound within the sound, is we get lost, we're lost, the other day it came to my attention that someone thought that I had said something about them, or done some action that was hurtful to them, years and years ago, maybe 15 years ago or more, and it just came to my attention, and hearing about this, I thought, what did I say? I know it wasn't that, what that interpretation is,

[15:58]

I know I didn't say that, and I know I didn't do that, but what did I say? It was very cloudy, and this person I realize now has never spoken to me directly, but believes my actions were harmful, and I don't know exactly what it was that I did or didn't do, and thinking back, the pain around being, not exactly accused, but being thought to have done harm or acted in a way that wasn't beneficial, staying with the sensations, the bodily sensations around that, that I had harmed someone, and feeling like,

[17:02]

if I can describe it, like I wanted to get rid of it, I wanted to make, maybe that's like making amends, or wanting to confess or repent, and yet I couldn't, I didn't know what it was that I had even done, so this kind of elusive quality, and maybe that's enough, maybe I just say, whatever it is that I did, I'm sorry, but feeling like, this is what I have to bear, I have to bear this, these feelings, this is my life, I can't sort of toss it away, or toss them away, oh, they're always like that, or they don't know anything, how dare they think of me that way, or something, I can't jettison it, I can't unload it that way, I have to stay with it and bear it,

[18:05]

which includes the physicality of it, and that just staying with those feelings of sensations, of stomach tightening, and also some scared feeling, some maybe feeling of, that there's various fears in Buddhist teaching, fear of loss of reputation, fear of death, fear of speaking in front of the assembly, fear of losing one's mind is one, and I think that losing one's mind is like where the things are coming so fast from outside, the ten thousand things are arising so fast and the changes are happening so fast that we can't, we lose our groundedness, we can't just be with them one after the other,

[19:06]

there's a great fear of losing touch in that way, losing our groundedness, so I realized this scared feeling wasn't so much connected with loss of reputation particularly, but more that I wouldn't be able to handle fast enough whatever was going to come with someone's anger and accusations. So we may feel that during ceching, a kind of fear of not literally losing our mind, like going crazy, although that might be also something that's coming up which you should definitely talk with your practice leader about, but feeling that the ten thousand things are coming faster and faster and there's a koan that says, what do you do when the ten thousand things come so fast? And the teacher said, don't try to control them. So sitting there with bodily sensations and sounds

[20:11]

and then the mental, the mental roiling, that's the word that just came up, roiling, isn't that like a sea with boiling, roiling waves churning and surging, like when are they going to hit the bell, why won't they hit the bell, I can't stand this, I can't, that kind of thinking is just so painful, you know, and I don't want to move and I do want to move and I will move and I won't move and I don't care if I move and I hate this and how did I get myself into this and why did they make me do this, this is crazy, they're all crazy, I love this, I hate this, it's just the ten thousand things are just coming so fast, you know, and you might feel like your mind can't handle it, you know, it can't handle this degree of, this intensity of physical, emotional, mental concepts,

[21:14]

so grounding ourselves, grounding ourselves is, the abomination is don't try to control them, don't try to push that thought away and replace it with another and how about this one and I'll try that one, it just is more confused body and mind, more and more and more and more, so with the mind like a wall we enter the way, allow them, just allow and don't try to control, so just being aware, just being aware and being aware of the cognition, I didn't mention this yesterday, but the mind object is cognition, so the same kind of awareness can be aware of, I want the bell to ring, I want it very badly, you know, or whatever, you can just be aware of that concept, that's all,

[22:24]

I want the bell to ring, the mind, the awareness, the consciousness doesn't care if that's that thought, if that thought arises, it's not bothered by that, just like it's not bothered by the wind or the rain, the sound, consciousness, or consciousness and awareness I'm using interchangeably, it just has this capacity to be aware, to be clearly aware, that's all, it's the elaboration and the conceptual, which happens with this Manasikara, the part of the mind that brings attention, that brings attention to more concepts and more concepts and more concepts, so to turn the light back, to bring that attention back to just the mind that is aware, now is that redundant? To just awareness,

[23:24]

awareness of the concept, and then it's the next one, the awareness is not really truly ruffled by that, even when they come fast, but it's very hard, you know, when I went to Tassajara for those few days, I think I told the practice period, I arrived at Tassajara and got very, very sick as soon as I got there, and violently ill, and it was a 24-hour kind of thing, and I was so sick, I could just lie quietly in bed, and I was trying to practice ekohensho, okay, just turn the light back and allow whatever is coming up to think of that, to think of that, it was very, very difficult, so that's why we have to train our minds thus, this is our mind training,

[24:28]

so the changes were very, physical feelings were very, I wasn't so emotionally upset as physically it was so distressing how I was feeling, and to stay with that, thinking of the mind that thinks of nausea, nausea is a concept actually, but I need further training to be able to stay with it in that way, but this is my vow. So all these instructions about, chop the carrot, you take the knife, there's just knife, carrot, board, and chopping and staying with it, this is this resting in the nature of mind, and it's the hallmark of Zen, right? It's what we maybe were drawn to about Zen, this practice and how it's conveyed by practitioners of just washing the dishes

[25:33]

or just sweeping. We love it, you know, I love it, when I was a guest student at Sokoji and saw these older students, they had been practicing a year, chopping onions, and I looked and I thought, what are they doing? They were just chopping onions, that's all they were doing, but I'd never seen it, I'd never seen onions be chopped like that, and what was happening? They were just chopping, they were completely chopping, that's it, they were working silently and just chopping, and what I saw hit me so hard that I said, this is what I want to do with my life. I want to live like that, I want to live like that, which still inspires me, you know,

[26:34]

no gap, no gap between me and what I do, me and others, you know, this is the vow. So living in that way, we have a chance for insight into wisdom that has gone beyond, and I just came upon this from the Pancha Vim Sati Sahasrika Prajnaparamita, we used to chant this, I remember the Kokyo saying, Pancha Vim Sati Sahasrika, as in Pancha Vim Sati Sahasrika Prajnaparamita Sutra, anyway, this is a little from it, it's called Nonduality, the Lord said, meaning the Buddha said, a Bodhisattva Shariputra who practices perfect wisdom

[27:39]

produces an even state of mind towards all beings. As a result, the Bodhisattva acquires insight into the sameness of all dharmas and learns to establish all beings in this insight. So this even-mindedness towards all beings or towards all things, towards all dharmas, even the non-difference between this mechanical sound and bird sound, we are able to discern part of the beauty of our functioning of our mind is that it can discern all these things but the actuality of what it discerns, what the things are that are discerned

[28:41]

is that there is no difference in the nature of them. So this sameness, this equanimity towards all beings and all things which is giving up good and bad and true and false and preferences, the way is basically easy, simple, just give up picking and choosing from the shin-shin-ming, just give up picking and choosing. It's not that we can't discern the discernment of color and sound and smell and taste is the celebration of life force but the grasping after and the picking and choosing and the pushing away and grasping, pushing and grasping mode is suffering. But it's not that there isn't

[29:44]

the difference between I said this yesterday, right? Tractors and birds or how you treat the bus driver and how you treat your best friend. We discern but the understanding is you're trained in the sameness of all beings and things. The basic practicing with perfect wisdom produces an even state of mind towards all beings. This even state of mind is resting in the nature of mind, is turning the light back and resting there. As a result, the Bodhisattva acquires insight into the sameness

[30:46]

of all dharmas, the sameness in their emptiness of own being. And we enter the way there. I was listening to Terry Gross who has a wonderful show on the radio interview show and she was interviewing Sonny Rollins, the great virtuoso tenor saxophone player, living, greatest maybe living. And she said they played a part of his a piece of music of his and she said afterwards, what are you thinking when you're doing that? And he said right away, I don't think. And then he said right away, that's why I practice. It was just like out of, it was just totally out of the coins. That's why I practice the scales and the exercises.

[31:46]

So my understanding of that, a monk asked Sonny Rollins, what are you thinking in the middle of this riff? And Sonny Rollins said, I don't think. But I practice, you know. Practice, realization are totally undefiled. His practice of the scales and the exercises is no different from you know, stage of person being able to, oh, his practicing the scales is like stage of faith. I'm not sure this is right, but this is what occurred to me just this minute. And then doing this glorious improvisational offering to the world is stage of person, is responding, you know. But you can't leap over

[32:51]

the exercises and the scales or you're just kidding yourself. You're just, you know. It won't bring people along, you know. You'll leave people, you won't touch them thoroughly. Although your sincere heart, if you're sincere, you know, that touches. So he doesn't think. And that did remind me of this koan, when Yaka-san is sitting in Zazen and a monk asks, there's various translations, but what are you doing there in sitting so fixedly? What are you doing there in gotsu gotsu chi, in gotsu gotsu, this lofty mountain-like sitting? What are you doing sitting there like a mountain? And Yaka-san said,

[33:52]

not thinking. He's thinking not thinking. And he says, how do you think of the unthinkable? And he says, non-thinking. So I'll say that again. I sort of garbled it. What's thinking in gotsu gotsu chi? Or what are you thinking sitting there so fixedly like a mountain? Yaka-san said, think not thinking. What kind of thinking is this not thinking? Non-thinking. So Dogen's think non-thinking comes from this earlier koan. So what are we all doing sitting here fixedly, sitting here in gotsu gotsu chi, gotsu gotsu, like a steady, steady mountain? Thinking non-thinking, reversing the thought to think of the thinking mind. And then we respond

[35:01]

to life. We respond, stage of person. I'm going to leave you with one more quote. I hope you're not filled to the brim. This is Baizhang. If you realize there is no connection between your senses and the external world, you will be liberated on the spot. We can talk about that more tomorrow. Thank you. May our Thank you. May our Thank you.

[35:54]

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