Tonight, I am an unexpected speaker for you, so if you want to sleep, please sleep. Don't worry about me. That time, any kind of lecture will be a very nice lullaby for you. Please sleep. Thank you. When the community is getting big, like this dinner, probably most of you have lots of skepticism about practice.

[01:03]

What is a practice? So, I want to say something about the practice. When you are in certain situations like this dinner, what is the practice? So, as you know pretty well, Buddhist practice is really based on no-self or selflessness. This is very basic Buddhist practice. If you cannot do this, your practice will never be Buddhist practice. Human practice, wherever you may be, even though your circumstances is exactly fit to your practice, your practice doesn't work.

[02:13]

Wherever you may go, the Buddhist practice is anyway based on selflessness. So, I would like to talk about this point. Let me read one of Western well-known poets, as you know pretty well, named Rainer Maria Reucke. You know that? He is very well-known. Even Japanese, particularly Japanese young people like him very much because his poem is sort of romantic. But his poem is sometimes romantic, but it's not romantic.

[03:15]

His poem is very strict criticism toward existence. I would like to read just a piece of poem which occurs in... Do you know allergy? Do you know that? Composed by him in the letter of his life. That is this. Only we see death, but the beast is free and has its death. Always behind it and always behind it and God before it.

[04:25]

And when it goes, when it walks, it goes toward eternity as the springs flow. Never, not for a single day, do we have pure space before us in which the flowers are always unfolding. It's forever world and nowhere without not. That is what destiny is, to be face to face. And nothing but that and always opposite.

[05:27]

Okay? Do you understand? Let me say once more again. Only we see death, but the beast is free and has its death. Always behind it and God before it. And when it walks, it goes toward eternity as the springs flow. Never, not for a single day, do we have pure space before us in which the flowers are always unfolding. That is this. It's forever world and nowhere without not. That's what destiny is, to be face to face.

[06:31]

And nothing but that and always opposite. This is very strict criticism toward existence. And also he doesn't speak about pessimism of human life, but oneness of life and death. Only we see death, but the beast is free and has its death. Always behind it. You know this. And God before it. When it walks, it goes toward eternity as springs flow. The animal, the beast doesn't have consciousness of it.

[07:37]

From the day before it, the death cannot catch up with the animal's life. Death is always behind it. Death never comes in front of him. This is beast, bird, dog, tree, whatever. Only human can see death in front, before us. If I say so, one of the students asked me, how do you know? The beast has no consciousness. No way to know. No particular pattern to know. Maybe you can know according to biology, but it is not something you should depend on. No way.

[08:39]

But we can know, we can know. Only when you know the rhythm of life, the universe of life, that time you can know. You can know. So I cannot say beast has no consciousness or beast has consciousness. I cannot say so. But I can know. You can know. At that time, you really share your compassion with beast. If you have a certain idea from biology, it is very difficult to share compassion with animal. Animal becomes pet for you. Dogs become pet for you. You are really interested in putting clothes, beautiful shirts on a dog. When you walk in Minneapolis, you can see there, very tiny dog, wearing the shirt, beautiful shirt.

[09:48]

And also putting the ribbon. God always before it. God always before it. God means universe. That's why when it walks, always it goes towards eternity. Nothing. Just walk. Just walk. There are seats always behind. My teacher says, when you become over 60, death comes in front of you. Saying, hello, congratulations. That's it. But before 60, you don't believe death. You know pretty well, but death doesn't come in front of you, always behind.

[10:53]

When the death comes in front of you, that is, it's actually life. You really open your eyes. Who I am. What I have done. What I will do in the future. I didn't understand at that time, but now a little bit I understand. Still, I am young. I have to practice anyway. This is the time. And Rilke said, never not for a single day. Do we have pure space? Pure space always before you. In which the flowers are always blooming and falling.

[11:55]

Always. While we are always seeing something face to face. That's why Rilke said, that's what destiny is, to be face to face. If you are present face to face, you create always a chance to argue with the people, to express your anger, express the pleasure pretty easily, and also those experiences are always snowballing. And finally, you are confused. So, he said, that's what destiny is. What is human destiny? That destiny is when we are constantly present face to face.

[13:06]

And also, it's full of a world. If you are face to face, that is a world created by you. By you. And that world is nowhere we are not. It doesn't fit. Because the world you see is the world, small world, created by you. Then, if you create your own world, many people also create their own world. Then they fight. Very naturally, you have to face and fight. Constantly. And fight, argue. That is destiny. And never not for a single day. We don't have, we don't see the pure space before you.

[14:12]

What is a pure space? That pure space is a little stream of life. As a whole. Just like a waterfall. Waterfall. Waterfall is, anyway, just one life. One life. Interconnected with mountains and trees, birds, skies, whatever happens. One life, what is called waterfall, is exactly continually going. That life, that life of waterfall is beautiful because it is of fitting. To fit, exactly fit to trees, birds, mountains, all circumstances. This is a pure space. You watch the waterfall, blue.

[15:17]

But, we don't do that. Never not for a single day. We don't see pure space. What we can see is the world created by individuals. Of course, Buddhism teaches that. If you try to draw a pigeon, wherever you are, professional painter or not professional, it doesn't matter. If you try to draw a pigeon, pigeon is not real pigeon. You really draw a pigeon, your own pigeon. Do you understand? It's true. If you make, if you call the Buddha, one of my friend made the Buddha for me, several Buddha statues. Their statues are sort of flying, but very tough.

[16:26]

Because he's very tough guy. But very gentle, but in his heart, still something. He wants to cry. That's why Buddha cries. You can see this. I can see this. So Buddha is not real Buddha. Buddha is his Buddha. If you draw a pigeon on a canvas, drawing a pigeon is not real pigeon. Real pigeon is, that's not, gone. That's gone. Your pigeon is there. Buddhism says, if you feel pensive, melancholy, the whole world becomes melancholy, pensive. Have you ever experienced this? I experienced this. Very often. And then, whatever I can see, I don't feel satisfied. I always get angry. This is very true.

[17:30]

But on the other hand, on the other hand, don't understand human world like this. But, even though you can feel melancholy, see the morning sun rising, see the big ocean, see the beautiful world, nature, you can take a deep breath and feel relief. And also, it gives you lots of encouragement, doesn't it? That's why you want to go to some place. Nature, wilderness, and ocean, no one disturbs you. From this point, the world is the world you created. It is true. But it's not real total picture of the world. The other thing, the world is completely world before, prior to creation, your creation of the world.

[18:36]

That world is really pure space. Through which, through which you contact closely, immediately, with all things, with all things. And also, you can let the beautiful flower of your life force bloom wherever you may go. This is pure space. That's why if you see the nature, beautiful nature, morning sunrise, you feel good. It is really true. So, but, human being, never not for a single day, we don't see this. Because we are always facing, we are always present face to face. That's pretty difficult to live in this world. In the Minneapolis, lots of lakes, sometimes I can see the beautiful scene.

[19:39]

Ah, sort of a couple of teenage, walk around the lake, and sometimes sit on the bench. And the wife rests her head on the shoulder, husband's shoulder, sitting side by side on the bench. This is beautiful, don't you think so? But, of course you can express, you can express your love, your kindness, your compassion, face to face. That means hugging, okay? Hugging, hi, I love you. One of the gentleman I met, he is trying to write a book called Hugging. It's serious for him.

[20:41]

So I told him, oh, of course, that's not fun, that's an interesting book. If you want to hug, please hug, not always from the front. Why don't you start sitting side by side, just sit down there, next to the person. And then, well, rest your head to the next person, like this, that's good. Or sometimes, you should have the people from the back. But it's not necessary, hold like this. Just sit down, just sit down or just stand up. Behind, go behind, and you can give a massage. If the people feel stiff, okay. Just go behind, stand up, give a massage. This is also expression of hug, you see so? It's nice. But if you always face to face, that's fine, that's fine.

[21:46]

But it doesn't last for long. While you love, that is beautiful, everything is beautiful. But sooner or later, it is fading away, fading away. While you love, fully love somebody, anyway painful, your face becomes beautiful decoration. Beautiful decoration, just like flowers. When you always face to face for 3-6 years, 4 years, 5 years, well, you fill up with pimples. So, at that time, pimples become completely pimples. Ugly pimples, ugly. They often happen. Finally, they all.

[22:48]

But what I mean is, not always sit down side by side to the next person, okay? If I say so, how can I sit down, how can I sit down side by side? In order to, in order to, well, have a pure space, avoid the flowers, let the flower of life grow. I should always sit side by side to somebody. No, it's not necessary. Not physical, okay? You can sit down like that. How can you sit, okay? Side by side to the people. Sometimes go behind, sometimes on the top, sometimes bottom. Sometimes keep a distance and follow. But always there is a compassion. Psychologically, how can you sit? This is self-reflection, self-reflection. Well, selflessness is not negative, negative of your life.

[24:11]

Selflessness is simultaneously, simultaneously a full manifestation of your existence, okay? Simultaneously. Well, here is a very good example. The, when you confuse, when you are confused, when you suffer, I told you before, whatever you see, even a beautiful thing, it's not always beautiful. For the person who is confused, the beautiful flowers sometimes are very miserable. For the person who is confused, it is very true. So, if you want to know who you are, look at your object. Look at your object.

[25:13]

Object means your room, your hair, your gassho, your zen, your thought, your emotion, even your mind. Your mind is not always mind exactly one with you. Mind is a mind as an object, because you can see your mind. So, if you are confused, you have to look at your object. Your room, your daily life, your boots, your clothes, your hair, your face. If you are confused, your face is really speaking about your confusion. If you are happy, if you are completely settled down, and if you are completely peaceful, even though you don't say anything, your face speaks about peace. If you are confused, your face speaks about confusion.

[26:18]

If you really feel isolation from somebody, from the nature, even though you don't say, I can see, I can see your face speaks about isolation, or loneliness, etc. So, in my case, when I was at the temple, after training in a monastery, I practiced priestly, because many monks there, I just follow with a monk, just to follow the schedule. Just very simple, because many encouragements there. But after coming back to my temple from a monastery, there were just two funny guys. One was pre-old. He said, obviously, I am pre-weak man, old man, I am weak old man.

[27:23]

I don't think so. But he lived until 86. But anyway, this is my teaching. And then I was so young, 22, I had lots of energies to do many things. But my teachers didn't say anything, didn't teach anything. So it's very difficult to sustain, maintain, practice, very hard. But exactly the same as your situation now. Your situation is, your situation always gives you lots of things to do. It gives you many things which make you busy. That's why you don't know what to do. What is the practice? Why do you become a Zen student? Why do you come here? The main purpose is to take care of business?

[28:25]

Zen therapy? I don't think so. The same applies to my case. Very quiet. Nothing to do, nothing to do. My teacher didn't teach me anything. So there is nothing particular, no particular practice. Because I am busy. But this busy was to just take care of daily routine. Washing the dishes, making breakfast, and picking the grasses, front yard, back yard, and pruning the trees, and dinners, and lunch, and performing Buddhist services. Then sometimes before you sleep, in front of the desk, open your book, and I would move back to study. So, sit down, in front of the desk, open the book. That was my life at that time.

[29:30]

So, gradually getting angry, anger comes up. Constantly, everyday, anger. Just like a snowballing. Then, very naturally, my life was very messy. Very messy. I don't know what to do. When I went down to the village to perform Buddhist service, I didn't come back to the temple because I hate it. I hate it. I hate the money. I hate seeing my teacher's face, or temples, and whatever I could see. I really hate it. So, if I went down to the village, that was my vacation. I went down, stayed there, chatting with people. Nothing. I didn't do anything. Just sit down, chatting. Then came back to the temple, and he said,

[30:34]

Well, you know the Zen teaching term? Kisako means, drink a cup of tea, leave. Drink a cup of tea, and leave. He said, Do you know the term, Kisako? I said, Yes, sir. He said, That is monk life. Monk life. Drink a cup of tea, leave. If you finish the business, leave. If you finish accomplishing your duties, leave. Just present, because we are offered. The more you stay there, the more you create something extra. And then that extra left you in confusion, because you touch it. You touch more and more. So, that's why he said, Just leave.

[31:35]

And, or whatever I could see, my whole life, mess. And then, my room is very messy, messy room. One day, a teacher came to my room, and said, Why don't you clean the room? If your mind is messy, room becomes messy. So, clean. This is based on a suggestion yesterday. But, this is very deep meaning. What is called selflessness. You don't understand. I will explain. I already told you, when you are confused, when you get angry, whatever kind of emotion, human is pretty easy to be infatuated with. All toxic, intoxicated.

[32:38]

Pretty easy. So, at that time, you cannot see something as it really is. When you see your room, room is not the room. Room is certain room seen from certain angles, which is called confusion. Confusion. Messy. Mess. So, if you confuse very naturally, your mind, your life, messy. And then, room. You cannot take care of room as it really is. So, room is messy, very natural. Because, always there is first. I come first. I come first. Who is this I? This I is completely confused I. And then, this I comes first and look at, create, act towards object.

[33:47]

You know what would happen. Very natural. So, Buddhism says no self. Equalessness. This is not denied. Deny the self by your consciousness. You cannot do this. In order to practice equalessness, first important point is, under all circumstances, you have to see or hear and listen and do or deal with something as it really is. When you see the room, you should deal with room as it really is. Particularly, when you have present under certain circumstances, which is called confusion. Confusion is really creating ego. Ego. Because I, I, I. That's why. It's very difficult to know who I am, what I am doing.

[34:53]

You cannot communicate with your object. You cannot deal with object as they are. That's why confused comes up. Always. So, important point is, anyway, deal with object as it really is. Dance practice is identical, exactly identical with equalessness. Without, do you understand this point? Equalessness. You have to. You have, not have to. If you clean the room as it really is, right in the middle of confusion, this is, the dance practice is exactly identical with equalessness. Without equalessness, you cannot clean the room. Do you think so? Without equalessness, you cannot bother Buddha. And you cannot deal with Buddha as it is, even though, apparently, you can bother Buddha. But, still, you hate Buddha.

[35:54]

Still, the Buddha you create. So, inside, burning up, burning off. So, very naturally, your body is messy. Very messy body. That's why my teacher said, if your mind is messy, room becomes messy. Who you are. If you want to know who you are, look at your room. If you want to know your room, look at yourself. Exactly same. So, how can you practice? Right in the middle of confusion. Practice is very simple. Very simple. Just a clean. Just a clean means, whatever it is, do your best to deal with something as it really is. When you do gassho, anyway, deal with gassho as it really is. Don't see the gassho from your confusions or ideas, whatever.

[36:59]

Just practice. And very naturally, there is, egolessness helps your practice. That is what is called egolessness. Egolessness is not matter of discussion, philosophical or metaphysical discussion. It's nonsense. Egolessness is something you have to practice. How to practice? Just deal with room as it really is. Deal with gassho as it really is. Deal with breakfast as it really is. Vegetable, deal with vegetable as it really is. Deal with beautiful flower as it really is. That's all we have to do. Zen, if you read Zen stories, Zen stories are very simple stories.

[38:00]

I am a beginner. What shall I do? Did you have breakfast? Yes, sir. Watch a ball. Very simple practice. But if you always are stuck in a certain realm, I am nervousness, okay? So you really, your first nervousness, which is called I, comes first. Then this I, as a nervousness, look at the Buddhism, the path. So this nervousness, where you want to breathe, is very greedy to get something always. Just like me. When I was young. So I hate it. If you are, if you have no one to teach you, you really hate it. Do you understand? Same situation. You are. So,

[39:03]

what you have to do is have to practice in restlessness. But I don't mean you should stay here all life. That is your determination. Determination. Do you want to stay here? Or you don't want to stay here? What do you like? What do you prefer? If you want to stay here, stay here. As long as you want to stay here, anyway you have to, you have to let the flower of life force bloom where? Not in the small territories, which is called carcasses, in pure space. You watch your flowers of life force bloom constantly. How? In restlessness. Restlessness means to deal with something as it really is, constantly, under all circumstances,

[40:06]

not under certain circumstances. If you want to stay here, stay. And then, if you go to the bakery, what? Deal with bread as it really is. Don't hate it. Deal with customers as they really are. But don't hate the customers. If you hate the customers, you cannot get the customers. If you want, if you see, if you see the restroom, well, see the restroom as it is. That's all we have to do. Very simple practice. But Zen doesn't explain always like this. Before you do, because life is busy, not busy, life is just like a stream of life, just like a small waterfall.

[41:09]

You have to experience. You have to experience your life as one. Before you separate. Before you separate. Separate means water splash. When the waterfall hits the rock, water splash. You understand? But that splash is, you can see. You can see separately, one by one. If you come in this room, you can feel something. Don't you think so? You can feel something. Well, everyone is sitting like this. I am talking here. If someone comes in, you say, feel, immediately. Or if all of you are here, discotheque, and then someone comes in, immediately you feel something. But this feeling is very important for us. Before you, well, analyze. Okay? Analyze. Because your life is completely set to this room.

[42:12]

Life of this room. That is what is called intuition. Intuition. Intuition. In the realm of intuition, there is no discrimination. Discrimination. If you come in, immediately something. But the moment when you say, ah, that's beautiful, that's already something. You have experienced. Something which you have experienced is already something quite advanced in time. In minutes. Just like a computer. You press the button, in the middle, very quick, at a super speed. So you don't know. But anyway, you do. First, you experience. Then everything through intuition. Then next, oh, this is a picture on the wall. And when you see the picture, immediately that is the wrong spot.

[43:12]

A wall. Hitting the rock. Then you say, ah, this is picture. And then when you see, when you see this picture, at that time, you completely forget. This Buddha statue and all of it. Because consciousness appears. Right? Just in a moment. One thing. Never two things. If you look at that, you forget everything. In that moment, in the next moment, you can see something. Buddha statue. Oh, this is Buddha statue. And then finally, you correct your ideas through the memory, through your attachment, perceptual judgment, through your world-seeing, through your experience. And then you say, oh, this is Buddha Hall. But that's just a word. Just a word.

[44:13]

Buddha Hall. And then you really stick there. At that time you feel, I like Buddha Hall. I don't think so. Because Buddha Hall is always changing. Changing. You cannot always keep this situation always. No, no. Next moment, someone comes and dances disco. Disco dance. Completely changed. But that is not the point we have to focus on. We have to focus on intuition. You know what we have to experience? It's intuition. How can you experience intuition? And it's not a matter of discussion. It's philosophical discussion. You cannot get there. You cannot find intuition where it is. No matter how long you peel your skin and looking inside of your heart,

[45:18]

your body, finally your body is just like a banana tree. Nothing inside. Nothing inside. So, intuition is not like that. Intuition is something you have to practice. To practice. That is eagerness. Through the eagerness you can really experience intuition. That is wisdom. We call it wisdom. Wisdom. So, of course, it's not easy to have in such a situation. But as long as you have the main choice of your life, I want to go to Venezuela and practice. Well, all you have to do is

[46:19]

just practice eagerness. That's all you have to do. And then around, that is the way to express your life as one, as a whole. Just like a waterfall. Interconnected, interpenetrated. Between birds and skies. So, all you have to do is practice eagerness. That is the best way to show, to manifest your life as a whole, one. Just like a stream of water constantly. Before you analyze, picking up one thing, whether it's pictures or water splashes. No. So, then, around this, you can see a lot of things which are changing constantly. But, even though you see lots of things around this practice, you cannot be involved

[47:19]

in all things. Do you understand? It means you cannot criticize always objects. If you always criticize objects, bakeries and green restaurants, grocery stores, teachers, dentists, you can criticize. If you criticize, it's okay if you want to criticize. But, finally, you should take responsibility for your criticism. Towards them, towards objects. That is why your life is completely up in the air. Because you don't pay attention to yourself. Your attention is always going to objects. It's simple. That's why, finally, well, the perfect centrist gives you a signal. He tells you, why don't you practice?

[48:21]

Why don't you sit down? Make your mind come. Nothing simple. That is Buddhist practice. Okay? Buddhist practice. Buddhist practice is prepared. That's why you don't understand what is the Buddhist practice. Buddhist practice is to see your life as a whole, for long range. Not the present life. Past, future, and this is just one life. But this one life is always moving constantly. So, you have to show it. How? Communicate with objects. Communicate with objects peacefully, harmoniously, like this. Deal with something as it really is. That's all you have to do. If you see the teacher, gassho, greet him.

[49:24]

If you see your friend, gassho, greet him. If you see the breakfast, sit down, eat breakfast, not only with your body, with your heart. Eat. Next moment, time comes to leave the center, leave the center. Take a bus, go to work. You cannot hate the bus. You cannot hate you as a passenger on the bus. It's very destructive. You have to be on the bus. That means dealing with you as a passenger, as it is. Deal with the bus as it is. At that time, that is exactly practice of eagerness. That eagerness is really giving the Buddhist practice. But continually to do this is pretty hard.

[50:27]

That's why we have seminars, and lots of series of lectures, sometimes unexpected speakers, just like me, come up. It's very, wow, I'm sorry for you. You are very exhausted. Because you have, you work hard all day. Sit down here. So, but, that's why if you want to sleep, sleep. All I have to do is, I have to deal with it. If I look at you and sleep, I find, I find someone that sleeps in my whole lecture. And if I get angry, I can't give a lecture. Do you understand? So Buddhism is very compassionate. You want to sleep, sleep. But anyway, sit down here. Sit down and sleep.

[51:29]

So Buddhism sneak in. Buddhism sneak in through your pores. It's Buddhism. Now Buddhism, this is life. When you show, if you manifest your whole life as one, not picking up one by one. If you pick up one by one, that's pretty hard. Always you have to face, face to face. Then get angry. But anyway, sit down side by side. That means, you will practice. If you rest, that's pretty nice. Sit down side by side, to the people, to the job, to the vegetables, to the can, to the gasho, to the, what, bakery. That means, here by. Bless, that's really it. That, that is really what is called Kanno Doko. We call Kanno Doko. Kanno Doko is translated as spiritual rapport.

[52:35]

Yes, spiritual rapport. But Japanese has a little, deep meaning. Kanno is inspiration. Inspiration. Kno is meat. Meat. Meat. Meat. So inspiration, meat, together. Inspiration means universal feeling. Universal feeling. Before you know, before you analyze, there is great, great pure space. In which your, your feeling, and tree's feeling, and wall's feeling, picture's feeling, structure's feeling, meet together, simultaneously. This is universal feeling. Everything has it. That's why you can have, you can feel immediately something. That is through what? Intuition. But intuition doesn't affect, affect, like avocado seed. So, so, Intuition.

[53:47]

Like avocado seed. Yeah, I know. I know. I know that. But, just before, Kanno means, inspiration, meat, together. Do you understand? So doko is pass. Do is pass. Ko is cross. Cross. So, pass is, anyway, the broad, which, not only human being, not only subject. Subject and object. And also object is including many things. If you see, if you see me, I am object. But simultaneously object includes

[54:48]

everybody. And this question is subject, subject, everything. So, communicating, pass is broad, which, subject and object, all beings, walk to walk. This is pass. To cross. To cross is, life of subject, life of object, cross each other. That means, the both lives are right in the middle of intersection of, cross means, cross means, many subject and object cross. Pass of cross means, in many ways, not only this, this way, that way, this way, that way, many ways. Do you understand? So, in all ten directions, you say, ten directions, they all do it,

[55:50]

you can't. Every morning, ten directions, three times, they were, we are, life of you, life of object, are cross. That means, life of subject, life of object, are exactly present, right in the middle of intersection. Intersection. Intersection means, become one. In the intersection, you can't separate. You can't separate, this is my life, or this is your life. This is doko, meaning of doko. So, spiritual rapport, can you imagine, meaning of spiritual rapport? Spiritual rapport is not your own spiritual rapport. Spiritual rapport is communicating, interconnected, into whole universe, when you stand up. When you stand up, stand up. Because this is, this you have to deal with,

[56:52]

stand up, I mean, it really is. You cannot stand up with two feet. But you say, I can stand up with two feet, it is true, but this is ego, ego, ego practice, egoistic practice. The egolessness, egoless practice of standing is, you have to stand up with two feet, two hands, your nose, your mouth, your ears, your eyes, your head, your frontal lobe, your central nerve, your heart, your emotions, your audience. If these circumstances and circumstances come, many of you, snow, cold, then, that time, it is called standing up. Imagine, that time, standing up, is really based on visual approach, visual approach. There is no ego there, no ego there. This is not the same practice.

[57:53]

Whatever you do, as a painter, as a pianist, as a dancer, as a ballerina, whatever you do, this is very basic practice, basic practice. So, when you work in the bakery, of course, I know how hard it is, but remember, you cannot understand life quickly. To study Buddhism is to learn life, your life. Take time, but take time doesn't mean you should make slow. We can't walk slow with kids, because time is changing. You have to walk quick, you have to walk quick, to think of, to look at the bakery, to see

[58:51]

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