This podcast is offered by San Francisco Zen Center on the web at sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. I realize that every time I do that chant and I'm giving a lecture, I have to fake it because I don't know the Japanese by heart. It's the very first mistake of the lecture. Before I really start the lecture, I wanted to, first of all, say happy holidays to everybody. And it's nice to see you all. Thanks for coming. I've been lucky enough in the last 10 days to go to three Shusso ceremonies. Gary Morgan's Shusso ceremony at Michael Wenger's Temple.

[01:00]

Dragon's Leap out on 20th Avenue. And I practiced with Gary for a really long time, and it was really nice to see Gary with this new, beautiful rakasu that Tim Wicks made for him, a shiny blue. It was really sweet. And then Earthlands, Zinju's, beautiful... shusau ceremony that we had here in the Buddha Hall that was so well attended and it just was she was so sweet and wonderful and then yesterday a group of us from Zen Center went to Tassahara and went to Shunda's a shusau ceremony and it snowed on the way back and it It was a combination of wildflowers and snow on the road.

[02:01]

It was really beautiful. So that was really, really lucky that I was able to do that. And they were all beautiful and wonderful ceremonies. And as long as we're talking about ceremonies, we're coming up to the end of the year. And it's absolutely my favorite ceremony is the sitting and the temple cleaning on the 31st of December. So if you don't already have New Year's Eve plans, or you're not sure about what you want to do on New Year's Eve, I haven't read the schedule, but typically temple cleaning starts about 8 o'clock, 8.30, and then Zazen will start about 10 or so, and it'll be a period, and then... maybe two periods, and then the last period, the period where we change from 2012 to 2013, there'll be 108 bells rung.

[03:05]

And I've been sitting here for a long time, almost 30 years, back in the good old days. Instead of firecrackers, we would hear AK-47s being fired off in the local neighborhood, but We don't get that sound much anymore. It's kind of calmed down these last few years. But it's still pretty exciting. There's people out on the streets, and it's a really happy time. And it makes me think of that Lily Armstrong song where he sings friends greeting friends. They're all saying, I love you. And it's really a sweet time. And if you're sitting that sweetness, comes through of New Year's Eve. And then after we finish sitting, most Zen temples, and we have one here, have a bonfire in the courtyard.

[04:08]

And you can be encouraged to burn all of your diaries from the previous years, all your attachments and aversions that you've gone through all those appointments that you don't want to remember or that you do want to remember, you just let them all go. And the last couple of years, I've gone as far as to write down my New Year's resolutions and burn those too. Because I know they're not possibly kept anyway, and I don't want to get too attached to those either. I was telling the e-note Before that, a couple of years ago, I really wanted to burn my Palm Pilot. That was 2002 or 2003, but they wouldn't let me do that because they were afraid it would cause a big explosion. But, you know, it's a beautiful ceremony and it has a lot of meaning.

[05:12]

It has a lot of meaning to do with attachment and aversion and renewal. and recommitment, and just sitting and getting a chance to experience the city celebrating from a peaceful place. And I encourage you all to come. It's always pretty crowded, so come early and help clean the temple. Start sitting. Enjoy yourselves. That's one of the most enjoyable sittings of the entire year. One other thing I wanted to mention before I got started with the meat of my lecture, the meat and potatoes, being a Texas boy. I wanted to acknowledge that Bodhisattva's

[06:18]

as described in the Lotus Sutra, emerge from the earth. You know, about 30 years ago, I had just finished sitting a sashim at Mount Baldy in Southern California and went to the airport. And I don't know how many of y'all have sat sashims for your first or second time, but your emotions can get pretty raw. And to be thrown right into an airport of any size is pretty jarring. And I got into the airport and I read the newspaper and watched the television news about a plane that had crashed in the Potomac River in Washington. And most of the plane crashed and submerged in the Potomac River. river right away and those people all died on impact.

[07:20]

But the people in the tail section survived and a 50-year-old bodhisattva named Arlen Williams got everybody out of the tail section. There was five or six people that he saved. And then a helicopter came. Nobody could walk on the river because it was such thin ice that they would just go through and They would just drown immediately because there's nowhere to come up. And nobody could swim either because of the ice. So nobody could get to these people and they could just see them standing there on the back part of the plane. And a helicopter came and Mr. Williams tied the rope around each one of their waists and there were all five saved. And he refused to be... saved until the end. And by the time the helicopter came for the sixth time, he had drowned.

[08:21]

And I remember bursting into tears when I read this and saw this on the news. And, you know, bodhisattvas emerged from the ground and they saved five people. It was a wonderful thing. And a few days ago, as we all know, A terrible thing happened at Sandy Oak Elementary School in Connecticut. But a bodhisattva that emerged from the ground was a first grade teacher named Victoria Soto who hid all of her kids in their cubbies and in the closets and in the little bathroom. And when the madman came with his AK-47 to the door, She said, all the kids are at the gym. So he shot her and went on to the next classroom. And all of her children were saved. And I want to acknowledge the bodhisattvas that emerged from the ground.

[09:29]

So that's my preamble. Some of it's beautiful and some of it's sad, but it describes the world. The case. Sojun Mel Weitzman asked Suzuki Roshi, what is nirvana? Suzuki answered, sing one thing through to the end. This dialogue, Armando, was recorded as the 12th koan in Michael Wenger's 49 Fingers and in David Chadwick's biography of Suzuki Roshi, Crooked Cucumber. I spoke with both David and Michael this week, and David told me that the incident or this mondo occurred in 1964. And I wasn't around Zen Center at that point, although I should have been.

[10:39]

I'd already graduated from high school. But It was probably pretty early in Reverend Weitzman's career as a Zen student. I think he came that year in 1964, but Blanche, do you know if that's right? And so at that time, there weren't too many Japanese masters in America. Soen Shaku was the first Japanese Zen Buddhist teacher that I know of that came to America. He came to America in 1893 to the World Congress of Religions to represent Zen Buddhism at that World Congress. And one of the great stories that came out of his visit to the United States was...

[11:42]

he got into a discussion with a Christian minister that was written down and held forever. And the Christian minister at one point roared to him, if you don't accept Jesus Christ as your Savior, you're going straight to hell. And so Enchaku answered, well, that's where they need me. And I've used that line several times on my cousins from West Texas when they've They have tried to fix me. So Enchaku had a disciple named Njogen Senzaki that came to San Francisco in 1905, was sent by So Enchaku. And Njogen Senzaki wasn't ordained, but he was a brilliant man. He was... They're not sure, but he was probably Eurasian, probably half Russian.

[12:46]

And he came, well, he wasn't quite accepted in Japan. And he came to the United States and he worked. Shon Shaku had given him the instruction of work for 20 years in the United States before you start teaching. So he worked for the Russell family here in San Francisco. as well as families all up and down the coast of California, and ultimately opened Floating Zinda, that was what it was called, in Los Angeles. And he's written, wrote several books. The most enjoyable and the most famous one, I think, is the koan collection that you will find koans in that you won't find in any of the other collection. It's called The Iron Flute. And if you get a chance to either read it or listen to it, I think it's on CD.

[13:52]

And it's really good. It has comments from two Zen monks as well as Njogan himself. And it's a really good commentary. But except for Sokalan and some other people in New York. I don't think very many people came in the 30s. And after the war, Alan Watts and D.T. Suzuki and Philip Kaplow Roshi were kind of the main figures in Zen Buddhism in America, at least publicly. And there was a great emphasis on Satori, Nirvana, Enlightenment. In fact, I... heard stories that Alan Watts went from Zen teacher to Zen teacher trying to have his enlightenment confirmed. And I don't know if he ever did or not. But looking through the classical koan collections, a very similar koan to what...

[15:11]

Reverend Weitzman and Suzuki Roshi's mondo was, or things like, Joshua and the new student entering the monastery, and the student, I have just entered the monastery, please instruct me. And Joshua says, have you had your breakfast yet? And the student answers, yes, I've had breakfast. And Joshua says, well, go wash your bowls. So just go straight. See one thing to the end. Suzuki Roshi's instruction. There's a great tradition of medieval Zen monks asking their teachers, what is the meaning of Bodhidharma coming from the West, which is just a euphemistic way of asking what's the meaning of life? What is Buddha? Or they ask, what is Buddha? And getting answers... as varied as the cypress tree in the garden, or three pounds of plaques, or sometimes getting kicked, or slapped, or ignored.

[16:22]

At least more than once, Zen masters in China, when asked that kind of question, just got up and left the Zendel, or left the boot hall. So when Reverend Weitzman asked that question, it was the perfect time, the perfect student, the perfect question, the perfect teacher. And he got a timeless, perfect answer. And without a doubt, the answer does point to effort. And I think that's really important that we look at effort inside of that koan. It's not a hard effort, but it's a sweet, gentle effort, not a clenched teeth effort that takes over your body and mind, but a kind and patient effort. And it was all taught with a grandfatherly kindness.

[17:29]

In Ginjo Koan, actualizing the fundamental point, one of the of Dogen's Shobo Genzo. Dogen writes, Accordingly, in the practice of enlightenment of the Buddha way, meeting one thing is mastering it. Doing one practice to the end is practicing completely. Elsewhere in Shobo Genzo, Dogen begins Zenki with another fascicle. He's saying, thoroughly practicing in the great way of all Buddhas, his realization. And both are pointing to seeing one thing through to the end. You know, it's really a perfect teaching for this temple. When I asked Michael, Michael Anger, what koan that he thought this one most closely parallels,

[18:38]

He said the third case in the Gateless Gate, Gute's One Finger. And I asked him to say more because I was a little... It didn't make any sense to me. I usually think of Gute's One Finger. How many of y'all know the Kohan? No? I can only paraphrase it. I don't have a copy of it here, but... Whenever Gute would be asked, what was the meaning of Zen? Why did Bodhidharma come from the West? The main question, the central question of all of our central questioning, he would hold up one finger. And his attendant was a young teenage boy, and he saw that that was what his teacher was doing, was holding up one finger.

[19:39]

So one day a guy came to visit the temple, some big lord or big muckety-muck came, and Gute wasn't around, and the lord asked the attendant, what's Gute's Zen like? And the attendant held up one finger. And when Gute heard that the attendant had imitated him, he sliced the finger off. So then he said to the attendant, what's the meaning of Zen? And the attendant tried to hold his one finger up, but it wasn't there anymore. And, you know, of course, the next line, and thus he was enlightened. But that part of the koan, I don't think was what Michael was really pointing to. I had to go back and read the koan to... to really see how it paralleled Suzuki Roshi's seeing one thing through to the end.

[20:43]

And after that portion of the koan, that cutting the finger off and trying to hold it up and getting enlightened and all that stuff, there's a little part at the end of the koan that said, when Gute was about to die, he said to the assembled monks, I have attained Tenru's Zen of one finger. I have used it all through my life, but could not exhaust it. I have used it all through my life, but could not exhaust it. Seeing one thing through to the end. And this seeing one thing through to the end can't be exhausting, whether you're advocating for a condemned prisoner or working with the homeless, or the dying, or solving ecological problems, or studying for the bar, or washing the dishes, or finishing a triathlon.

[21:46]

It's inexhaustible seeing one thing through to the end. Although seeing one thing through to the end has no beginning and no end, A nice starting point for our practice is another piece of Suzuki Roshi's advice. When you hear the bell in the morning, go to the Zen Do. It seems to me that it's much easier to maintain the Zen mind if you, when you hear the bell or when you hear the alarm, you just put on your robes and Maybe brush your teeth and run by the bathroom. But you do it in the same mindfulness and the same reverence that you would do when you enter the zindo and bow at the first time. When you chant and when you bicycle here. Or when I'm parking my little red BMW here.

[22:49]

It's nice by the time that we start our zazen practice. when the alarm goes off, not just when we get to the door. So, you know, if you go to the zindo when you hear the bell, it's become much easier to carry a heart of compassion and mindfulness. It just tumbles seamlessly through the entire day. eat when you're hungry, sleep when you're tired, work and play when it presents itself, and then begin the next day to the wake-up bell or to the alarm. And the lifetime practice goes on and on, and you just see one thing through to the end. And don't let your secondary self-reflections pull you away from the now.

[23:56]

Jerry Fuller, who was one of Suzuki Roshi's early students, said, just one big mistake. Actually, I heard that story many years ago that a late 19th century or early 20th century Zen master, and it might have been Sawaki Roshi, who was Uchiyami Roshi's teacher, when asked to describe his life on his deathbed, said, Just one big mistake. It really doesn't matter who said it. It's just go light on yourself. And when you find yourself on a sidetrack, just return to the now and the main line. We all make mistakes and we all space out. There's a great story of a Dutchman who was studying at Daito Kuji in the late 50s. in Kyoto.

[24:56]

And Daito Kuji is one of the main renzai temples in Kyoto and was well known for its austere and tough practice. During one sushin, this Dutchman was going to distribute the cups for afternoon tea and he tripped over the threshold going into the zendo and the cups all went flying. He just got a broom and swept him up, went back to the kitchen, got some new cups and mindfully bowed to Manjushri at the altar. And he had never seen the ceremony of somebody dropping the chopsticks during Orioki before. He just made the ceremony up. He wasn't paralyzed by his mistake. He wasn't lost in self-doubt or self-recrimination. He just went and did the next thing, picked the cups up, bowed to the altar, invented a ceremony to atone for his error, and just went about his business.

[26:13]

And it's kind of like seeing one thing to the end. Goto Roshi, who was the Roshi there at that time, I also had Gary Snyder as a student, and he taught Gary Snyder a wonderful teaching. So much boiled down to just a few words. Concentrate, do your best, and remain detached from the results. So concentrate, do your best, and remain detached from the results. It's a great teaching. And we can use it over and over, just like saying one thing through to the end. As Dogen says, an attachment, flowers fall, and in aversion, weeds grow. Practice, see one thing through to the end, over and over.

[27:14]

There's a lot of different possibilities that we could talk about. Suzuki Roshi's answer to Reverend Weitzman. Seeing one thing through the end by itself can be looked at very deep. Then you can just look at seeing. Or seeing one thing. Or seeing one thing through. Or the end. The end is really a deep one. Each can really be explored in great depths. And I don't think these... Understanding should be ignored, but they can easily obscure the general grandfatherly teaching that I believe was intended for Beginner's Mind Temple. Using seeing one thing through to the end...

[28:18]

It can be used as a passive meditation in the zindo or an active meditation, like performing an endurance event or driving a car or sewing in the sewing room. It can be very helpful, although if you use it in an active meditation, like driving a car or finishing a triathlon, You can really fool yourself into thinking that there is an end because you're performing this task, you're driving from Page Street to Noe Valley, and then you get there and you park your car, and that can fool you into thinking that that's the end, but we all know it's not the end. So use it, but don't be fooled by it. At the end of Ginjo Koan, Master Bao Chi answers his monk questioner by just fanning himself, saying one thing through to the end.

[29:29]

Concentrate. Do your best. Remain detached from the result. But see it through. See it through to the end with effort, patience, and kindness. Michael Wenger's capping verse to the koan, saying one thing through to the end is, the doorbell is ringing. Will you meet it? Each act completes the whole. Even the loose threads connects. That's all I have, but I welcome questions. Yes, ma'am. One of the deep-seated patterns in my life is that I have been used past to stay in toxic and abusive relationships or jobs way past when they're useful.

[30:45]

be not what is meant by seeing something through to the end. In some of those cases, I actually should have left before I did. Can you comment on that? Because even though I haven't had that experience recently, that still haunts me. That seeing it through to the end was actually not the right thing to do. And I'm still puzzled by that. And my daughter My youngest daughter left her job today because of a toxic situation and felt bad about it, but she had to leave. I think it's really important to step back from a situation like that and use some skillful means that's been developed here. and take a look at the toxic situation, an abusive situation.

[31:48]

I don't think Suzuki Roshi pointed to any of us being in an affair or a job or in the military or anything, seeing that through to the end. I think he was probably pointing more towards efforts. And I think there's a hint of skillful means in there that doesn't pop out right away. And that skillful means is what's going to help you determine whether or not you should continue an activity that's not helping you and not helping others. You're welcome. Yes, ma'am. Thanks. I really appreciate it. brought up for me what is the present and trying to discern. And discernment is not something we talk a lot about in Zen.

[32:49]

And when I ask about it, it usually gets referred to the Christian as a place of discernment. So part of my question is, are there any suggestions or techniques for discerning? What I'm trying to do is what Valerie said, it's how do you know when you're at the end? Well, that's a different question than Valerie's because there's no end, you know. But there's also... It is not a bad suggestion to refer you back to the cushion because... On the cushion, you can see a toxic situation for what it really is, like in Valerie's situation. And then it gives you the courage to make a decision to walk away from that toxic situation and the courage to use skillful means appropriately.

[33:58]

So I really think the cushion helps us. I think, did it help you, Valerie? Because discernment is a tool that Jesuits use in meditation, and they have some kind of technique about that. So that's one thing. But also, coming to the end of something isn't necessarily about toxicity, but just in my case, in terms of effort, putting effort in it. for example, to creating or manifesting a job in San Francisco, putting in effort over how much you had. So that's just a concrete example of something. And sitting with, well, is this enough effort, or am I at the end? Well... Of course, it's important not to be dualistic here.

[35:04]

You know, you... the end and not the end. It's really hard when you, especially when you bring up, I was just thinking when you brought up the Jesuits. There's a Zen teacher in Japan who's also an archbishop in the Catholic Church. And he says that sitting zazen is like sitting in front of God. But that's, to me, that's dualistic because For me, zazen is like sitting as God or with God. So, I don't know. That's certainly not... That's my tangent on your question. It just brought that up for me. But the cushion is really a wonderful place to decide when it's time to walk away from a toxic situation. And sometimes it's really...

[36:06]

Instead of some people, I don't know Valerie very well, but I've read her biography, and it seems like she cut her ties with Silicon Valley rather abruptly. Is that true, Valerie? Very abruptly. And I have been trying to escape from real estate one millimeter at a time, and I'm almost out. And as soon as I can get rid of that red BMW, I'll be gone. I don't know if I've helped you at all, but I've tried. You had a question, sir? Okay. I just find it a little bit contradictory in it because our being, our mind, our livelihood is one endless and beginningless and just completely is going on, right? Then we talked about saving through one activity

[37:08]

Well, in the really big picture, there's no beginning, no end. And when I said that we could really look at that koan, with an expert's eye, one of the things we could look at is the end and discuss exactly what the end is. There's no end, there's no birth, there's no death, there's no end. It's a very, very deep and intriguing go-on to work on, and I've just really just scratched the surface here. Seeing one thing to the end doesn't mean just the end as we see it colloquially.

[38:14]

It's a lot more. Seeing through, seeing, it's a lot more. I recommend that you sit with it a little bit and see how you find each one of the words and how it can help you. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, please visit sfcc.org and click giving. May we all fully enjoy the Dharma.

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