Two minutes ago I was thinking, well, how come? And so I gave myself an answer that I'll not repeat to you. You know, the great religions of the world are filled with wise teachings. You know, the distillation of the practice of many wonderful people. And they've taken the form of... Sacred text, hold me a little too loud. Sacred text. So the sutra I'm referring to is, in Buddhism, in early Buddhism, it's considered, is that okay? Is that too loud or just right? Just right.

[01:02]

Okay. A little bit of feedback. Okay. Once you look where it is, now lower the mic a little. Okay. So it was called Anupanasati. And it's a text on how to use following the breath as a way to do several things. First one, is to get in touch with physical being. And to use the way you're in touch with your physical being to start to get in touch with the core disposition of your body, your mind, and your heart. And as you do that, to explore what's going on there. And as you do that, find liberation. And in a way, it represents the overarching trajectory, the path of our life as a process of awakening.

[02:19]

And then the reason I'm interfacing it with the poem is because Every sacred text, every teaching is asking us to find this in the vernacular, in the very context of our life, in the expression of our life, and have it speak to us in a way that addresses who we are, how we are, and how we're living. So this is our challenge. How do we do that? So you can take it. and laying it into the world according to me, then you lose something, right? It's just another version of the world according to me. You can lose it outside, and then it's just something that doesn't apply to your life. When you go to the Zen center or the synagogue or the church or the Redwoods, wherever you go to feel sacred, maybe you have a flavor for it, and then you go back to something else.

[03:30]

So how do these two interface? And I would say it's a very interface, it's a very difference, and maybe whatever tension that creates, that's the catalyst for discovery. What is this saying, and how is this, how does it enter my life, how is it already in my life, and how does it guide my life? Okay, so here's the poem. It's by David White. It's called The Song of One Who Goes Along. One who keeps living their life. Who keeps moving through their life. And who doesn't? Who isn't keep living their life. Really implicit in it is a couple of things. Can we live our life with insight? Are we just repeating the same problems we had that we tried to get away from by coming here?

[04:34]

Do we keep repeating the same patterns of thought and emotion and relatedness? Or is there an accumulation of insight? You don't always get what you want. It's a useful thing to remember. And then the extension of it is, don't give up hope. Don't despair. Don't become frantic and despairing that you're not going to get everything you want. And in the counterbalance, keep leading your life with some enthusiasm, with some purposefulness. with some rising sense of engagement. So an interesting quality of insights is that we already know them.

[05:47]

It's more like we forget them or we don't quite see how they apply. Okay, well, that's great when I'm sitting in the Buddha Hall and Zen Center, but what about when I'm in this awful situation that my life presents? When I'm there, I'm wise, I'm composed, I'm spacious, I can see the world, the big picture, I have equanimity, everything comes and goes. And then when I'm in this difficult situation in my life, I'm bereft of that teaching. I feel a little bit burdened, or a lot burdened. I feel anxious. I feel alone, separate, disempowered.

[06:54]

Whatever. So how do we take the insights, which usually are the distillation of the challenges and suffering that we work through. How do we take the distillate of that, the insights, and let them come forward? So that's what this poem's about. It's like that which goes along, that which keeps moving forward. And what's the difference between that and carrying force the wounds, the pains, the contraction that happens around our suffering. So here's how this poet writes about that. What I've left behind has not left me. The wounds I have failed have not failed me. What I have not seen or failed to see

[08:00]

I leave as a gift. What I have not seen or failed to see, I leave as a gift. To everything that is, I give everything I am not. To the life through which I have walked blindfold, I give it the sight of my weakness. To life, I give thanks for this. One strength to great failure with marvelous opportunity for what comes next. What I've left behind me has not left me. Those I've failed have not failed me. Where I have not seen or feel to see, I leave as a gift.

[09:04]

To everything that is, I give everything I am not. To the light through which I have walked blindfold, I give it the sight of my weakness. To life I give thanks for this. One strength through great failure, with marvelous opportunity for what comes next. psychology, there are in one formulation of Buddhist psychology in the Abhidharma Kosha. For those of you who want to know, there's 75 varieties of momentary experience. Of those 75 varieties of momentary experience, only three are apprehended completely, precisely,

[10:11]

in the beat. And two of those are expressions of nirvana and one is great space. Bindless, vastless. Which means level 72 that we're experiencing all the time. We're not quite getting the whole picture. There's a little or a lot left of it. And another way to put it is only the fully awakened, fully present person, fully experiences the moment. The rest of it is give some wonderful edited version. usually called the world according to me.

[11:25]

And it's interesting because the Sutra that I'm about to outline is not actually saying, as is the poem, that this is cause for all. You know? this is an awful state, an awful condition. What it's saying is the human response to this is the kind of the teaching of how to live a human life. And this was the teaching of Shakyamuni Buddha. He says, I teach how to live a human life. teach how to take this not totally getting it how to come into relationship to it how to let it serve as creating insight compassion and skillfulness and how in following that path you can wake up to what it is to be human

[12:42]

combination of the sutra, we might as well start at the end the best part. There's four factors that's asked of us. One is to experience. To experience what's going on. The second one is to gladden the heart-mind. The third one is to come into a clearer, more connected way of being. And the fourth one is to release. To release the ways we contract, to release the ways we cling to the past, to our fears, to our sadnesses, to all the things that obscure what's going on. And in the process of releasing that invoicing that legal way of being.

[13:55]

And as I mentioned earlier, the sutra starts by saying and you can have as a foundation for all of this working with your breath. And I would add to this that in working with the breath it's saying Getting in touch with your physicality. And the breath is a wonderful way to do that. But it's not the only way. It's about getting in touch with the physicality of being. And through getting in touch with the physicality of being. Becoming sensitized to... what you might think of as your core disposition. I've just spent a couple of months in our monastery, Tassajara, doing a lot of meditation and practicing this sort of stuff.

[15:14]

And you really get in touch with your body, your breath. And then I came up to the city a couple of days ago and walked into the building 10.45. The first meeting I went to was 11 o'clock. And that meeting ended and the next one began. And sometimes the next one began before the one before it ended. And so I... I was just upstairs sitting and just feeling and listening to what was going on in my body and my breath and how that intermingled with my thoughts and feelings. And reconnecting to the spacious quiet of the monastic way.

[16:21]

and seeing and feeling what a resource. I think what it points to, this kind of resource, what it's asking of us is, do we have a way in our lives, each one of us, to digest, to absorb, to let register the significant experiences we're going through every day? Is there just a way in your life to absorb what's happening for you? And I would say to you, this is a very significant thing. And this mindfulness on breathing is a way to do that. Basically what it's saying is, through working with your breath,

[17:31]

Learn how with the exhale you can release. With the inhale you can allow. Allow what's happening to happen. And allow what's happening to be released. Don't cling to it. Don't keep struggling with it. Don't keep fighting with it. Don't keep trying to have it be what you want it to be. Or hold on to it and stop it from just... as everything does change into the next thing. So there's two factors going on. One is sensitizing and enhancing your ability to be in touch. And as you do that, allowing it to come and allowing it to go. And then as you do that, creates a basis that creates a basis for seeing more clearly just what is going on and for being more skillful in how you relate to it and as those capacities are cultivated then these other four factors first one being experiencing

[19:00]

That one quite organically grows. Now this one, gladdening, I think is one worth mentioning. I think the pursuit of happiness and contentment is pretty basic. What exactly creates happiness and contentment paradoxically needs some thought. If you take just something as simple as eating, being able to distinguish between a delicious meal that's savored, that's appreciated,

[20:06]

And eaten in a way that can bring that forth and bring forth contentment and satisfaction. In contrast to, you know, supersize me, you know. If you savored and ate mindfully, you know, could you ever get rid of one of those? You know. Or would you notice that you sacrifice quality for quantity? Or in the process of savoring, do we notice that this much flavor is good and this utterly intense flavor is too much? I think to extend that into a wider sense of how we find contentment and satisfaction.

[21:16]

To be able to distinguish between something we might call indulgence. There's a way to savor something. You have to give yourself to it. If you're just... if you're dressed in the throes of the excitement of desire desire is running the show I have to get that because I want it it becomes objectified it becomes something to be grasped to be Or it's to savor something, you know? Whether it's the light coming in the window, whether it's a conversation, whether it's a delicious meal, a walk in the park, reading poetry, whatever it is that nourishes you.

[22:28]

That can come, that can nourish in a way, as the Sikr says, that gladdens the heart-mind. That kind of savoring asks something of us. And it's different from indulgence. It's different from something that says, I want what I want. And I want it in my way. And so this is one of the insights of our lives that we all know. but somehow to let it be active in the life we're living. In our quest for this very, very basic quality of contentment, satisfaction. And can we come to a disposition?

[23:35]

Can we come to a place and a way in our life And we can start to look at this fundamental modality and relate to it with wisdom. Not the wisdom of great factual learning, but the wisdom of the basic elements of every human life. And to realize that this plays a role in gladdening the hard mind. But when we feel content, when we feel satisfied, when we feel like how we're learning life is rewarding, engaging, that something in us moves closer to a state of ease. Something in us moves closer

[24:37]

to a state of satisfaction. And of course the very same proposition stands up and says, but how the heck am I going to do that? Do you know what I'm dealing with? Do you know what's there in my life? Do you know who I am? What my history is? And in this wonderful strange poem, it says very strange things, like, what I have not seen or failed to see, I leave as a gift. What I have left behind has not left me. We have the resource, we have the information of what we've done, and maybe the way in which we've missed the mark, as well as the ways which we hit the mark.

[25:52]

The mirror we gobbled on, where we check our email, And watch TV or whatever other multitasking that you're capable of now. After long and dozing effort. That little gobble done. It taught us something. It taught us this is not so satisfying. You know? That relationship. that ended in an awkward and difficult way. It taught us something. It taught us something about relatedness. About what it is to meet the mystery and the majesty of another person. Not that now we know everything. No.

[27:04]

It's not proposition the proposition is that now as we move forward we can enter similar challenges informed by that maybe humbled by that maybe sensitized by that maybe stirred with the great sense of not knowing Maybe knowing how vulnerable and tender such situations can make us and make others. And from that, we can learn something about gladdening the heart. About raising the human spirit. So how to settle.

[28:20]

How to be receptive to this basic human way of being. And be skillful about it. And how to let it influence how we're living and the priorities we make. You know? All the time being asked is how you're living reflecting what's important to you does your energy go into what gladens the heart what brings joy to you and what brings joy to others past experiences in form and guide.

[29:22]

And as the poet says, with audacity, even my failures were a kind of gift. And not only to me, in a way it's a speaking of our forgiveness. Can you forgive yourself for not having done that perfectly. Can you forgive the other person? It's like if you think of global warming. We sort of made a mess of the planet. You know? We have this basic working paradigm taming the wildness of nature. He kind of blew it up in the process. You know, it's only kind of occurring to us now. That wasn't so smart. But the gift is now, it's asking us to have an attitude

[30:45]

of savoring, of respecting, of restoring, of nurturing. Now, most of us think every form of life is precious. How great is that? Even little lizards and tiny little frogs and odd species of insect and plants. Every form of human life is precious. Every form of life. This is beautiful. Maybe we could have learned our lesson a little quicker. Maybe we could be acting on it a little more thoroughly. But in a way, even our collective failure is a gift. Maybe now, with a certain amount of tender humility, we can tend to all these forms of life that we not consider precious.

[31:57]

Like this. And what dimension, what modality of our existence doesn't have this CAM process to it. And then the next factor is classically in the text, the word that's used is samadhi. And a good translation for samadhi is continuous contact, to stay in touch, to stay aware of, to stay engaged with. So we can have this beautiful thought Every form of life is precious. And then we lose our connection. And then we live in a way that contradicts it. We forget that the next person we meet is one of those forms of life.

[33:06]

To stay in contact. To walk your talk. To stay attentive to the workings of the heart-mind, of self, of interrelatedness. And as we do that, two things happen. are very important to remember one is often it feels like things get worse because all those wonderful difficulties in your life that you were denying suppressing ignoring you're not doing that anymore so those poignant moments of big and small failure of disconnect not stay

[34:15]

in the realm of awareness. But the other beautiful thing is that they offer a teaching. The disconnect offers the teaching of connection. The forgetting offers the teaching of remembering. The grandiosity of self preoccupation offers the teaching of tender, open humility. The goblin dying mindlessly offers the teaching of quiet, savoring, and appreciating. Whether it's the sunlight coming in the window or the piece of toast you're going to eat for breakfast. And the challenge for us is can we be big enough, can we be saddled enough to hold that mix, that mix of hot and cold, of failure and awakening, of experiencing the pain of failure and experiencing

[35:45]

the opening to greater being. Can we hold them with equanimity? Of course we'd like to separate them out. We don't like to stay over here and live in this bright world of perfection. That's not who we are. These two are intertwined. The equanimity to live that life. That sees the limitation and holds it tenderly. That practices forgiveness and remembrance. That stays true and makes a constant effort knows that that is no recipe for perfection.

[36:55]

And to let this process, as the poet is trying to do, yield its own beauty. Things are not beautiful because they're perfect. It's because of the arrangement of the particulars has come into a harmony. Has come into almost like an intelligent relatedness that expresses something about existence. All existence. So David Wright puts it like this. What I've left behind me has not left me. Those I have filled have not filled me. What I have not seen or filled to see, I leave as gift.

[38:08]

What I have not seen or filled to see, I leave as gift. Gift for me and everyone else, I would say. To everything that is, I give everything I'm not. To the life through which I have walked blindfold, I give it the sight of my weakness. To life I give thanks for this. One strength through great failure. with marvelous opportunity for what comes next.

[38:56]

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