This podcast is offered by San Francisco's Zen Center on the web at sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good evening, everyone. Happy that you're all here. Pleased to be here myself and welcome to all of you out there in the online Zoom room. So... I want to thank especially Tonto. There she is. Thank you, Tonto. Ana for asking me to speak, and I especially want to thank my teachers, Ed and Victoria Austin. Take care of the time.

[01:02]

Here. So tonight I'd like to talk to you about someone you probably know very well and probably someone you wish you didn't know very well. If you're anything like me, someone who you like to deny their existence. And this person is called Mara. And many of you probably know the story about Mara and the Buddha. In Buddhist cosmology, Mara is associated with death and rebirth and desire. And Mara is the personification of forces antagonistic to enlightenment. So all those problems, all those dark corners, all that denial that you can carry with you, we can attribute to Mara.

[02:05]

And that's somewhat comfortable in some ways, but it doesn't get us very much. As Siddhartha sat under the Bodhi tree, Mara approached and challenged him. And Mara questioned who he thought he was and then sent temptations and showered him with arrows. And Buddha continued to sit. And Mara had one last trick up his sleeve. He said, what right do you have to realize this wisdom? In other words, enlightenment. Buddha is under the Bodhi tree for quite some while. And so Mara said, well, who do you think you are? And the Buddha reached down and touched the ground and he said, the earth is my witness, he replied. And then the earth shook and thunder clapped and Mara fled. But Mara was not to be banished from the world.

[03:09]

or from Buddha. We don't just purge ourselves of Mara. We do not become totally pure, totally enlightened, with no temptations, etc. Mara was often seated at the edge of those who, in the forest where those people gathered to hear the Buddha talk. And Buddha was known to say, I see you, Mara, over there. Let's have some tea. And to deny Mara is to give him strength. But we try to do that. In the Sandokai, or the Harmony of Difference and Equality, it said, in the light there is darkness, but don't take it as darkness. In the dark there is light. but don't see it as light. Light and dark oppose one another like the front and back foot in walking.

[04:13]

Each, this is important, each of the mirrored things has its merit. So even Mara has its merit. Even the dark has its merit, just as the light does. Each of the mirrored things has its merit expressed according to function and place. The Sandokai, or as I said, the Harmony of Difference and Equality, as it's translated, was written in the 8th century by a Chinese monk, Ziko Heisen. So Mara can lead us to the light. Rather than opposing Mara, denying Mara, running from Mara, we can be led to the light. Leonard Cohen, in his song Anthem, wrote, there is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in. Ring the bell that can ring and forget your perfect offering.

[05:18]

So even in the midst of the darkness, of the darkest of the darkness, there's a crack somewhere. There's light. And that offers us some knowledge. an ability to transform, transmute what's going on in our lives. Mara and I are close friends. We know one another pretty well. But nonetheless, I get deluded by Mara often. Mara knows my dark side of my character, knows my defects, knows my afflictions. It knows both my generational, and ancestral karma, and all my ancient twisted karma. And Mars has been with me for a long time. Indeed, before birth even, I think I brought it forth with me. And it affects my life and has affected my life greatly.

[06:24]

I fall into patterns, I think we all do, and behaviors that enhance Mars' powers. We become Mars partners in our darkness. In our karmic garden, if you will, we plant invasive species. Use the metaphor of the garden. We alter plants genetically. We use destructive farming techniques. And interestingly, this morning in a bow in for the temple care crew, we were reading from Zen mind, beginner's mind in one of Suzuki Roshi's talks. And he talked about the weeds that grow. And he said the weeds that grow, we cultivate the weeds, we pull the weeds, but we don't throw them away. We put them back into the soil. We mulch them back into the soil so that it creates food and energy and vitality for the positive plants, for our vegetables.

[07:30]

And for the fruits and the trees and such that we wish to grow. So those weeds, i.e. those things that Mara produces, can be of benefit and can help us. So don't blame. Don't fight. Or ignore Mara. Take them seriously. And listen to the messages that Mara brings forth. Now, I had many messages from Mara before I got sober now over 30 years ago. Mara sent me off to jail. Mara didn't send me to jail, but I did go to jail, and it was a message. I lost jobs. I was not a good father. But this is a prime example of how the denial of Mara can foster ill-appropriate behavior. Each morning when I woke up, I was very sick and I was very ill.

[08:34]

And in fact, I would sit in the shower and I would say, oh, my gosh, you must have heart disease today. Oh, my gosh. You must have cancer. Well, the truth is what I had was a hangover. But I chose to deny that. I chose to think that I had some serious physical ailment that was causing my discomfort, my disease, my unhappiness. It was causing the problems I was creating in the world. And in fact, I went to a doctor because I was so worried about my heart disease or my cancer. And the doctor performed tests and, you know, sent me for lab work. And I went back about a week later. And in my mind at that time, that doctor gave me very bad news.

[09:43]

He said, you're OK. You don't have heart disease. You don't have cancer. Have you ever thought about stopping drinking? I said, no, no, I hadn't. Now, look at this depth of denial. I was more willing to have heart disease or cancer than to admit I had a problem with drinking. And it took me two more years before I finally went to Alcoholics Anonymous and stopped drinking. So Mara's power can run very deep. And around the 12-step rooms, it's often said, denial is not a river in Egypt. So that denial of Mara doesn't work. Now, it's not easy to accept the fact that Mara exists, that Mara may be, these things may be the causes in your life, and you don't want to admit them, or you don't want to deal with them, and you want to run away from them.

[10:55]

But it does not work. Sometimes I feel like I keep moving towards Mara and not the light. It seems that I need a crisis to often move forward. And my karmic garden often sprouts forth with darkness from the past. That's that ancient twisted karma. Sometimes it's not so ancient. But just recently we sat a seven-day sesheen here. And it was a very dark sesheen for me for some reason or another. And I couldn't fathom it during the sesheen, but it was dark and it was uncomfortable. And two days after the sesheen, I remembered that 15 years previously, a good friend of mine had passed away. And he had stayed with me in my apartment for the last 10 days of his life. And I attempted to care for him. And I wasn't very skillful at it.

[11:56]

And it was painful and it was problematic. And he had a painful and very anxiety-ridden death. Now, that was at the same exact time this sesheen that just occurred took place. And I remember at that time saying to Victoria, I was going to do this sesheen, but my friend Greg is dying and now I need to care for him. And she said, that is your sesheen. What I'm drawing the analogy here is that 15 years later, I really felt that once again. It struck me deeply, and I felt it in this current session. So it's really difficult to remain vulnerable. It's really difficult to maintain an undefended heart. It is forever possible, however, to change and transform and transmute into light things from the darkness.

[13:00]

This is where Mara can be helpful. And remember, as Leonard Cohen said, as I just quoted previously, there is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in. Now, I think I experienced some more light just recently surrounding the death of my friend. dealing with some of the remorse I felt and have felt for the way that his death transpired. So again, the Sandokai, each of the mirrored things has its merit. Mara's army is just as real to us today as it was to the Buddha when he sat under that Bodhi tree. And we experience it in many mirrored different ways. Mara stands for those patterns of behavior that long for security of clinging to something real and permanent rather than facing the question posed by being a transient and contingent creature.

[14:08]

It makes no difference what you grasp, said the Buddha. When someone grasps, Mara stands beside them. the temptatious longings and fears that assail us, as well as the views and opinions that confine us, are sufficient evidence of this. In other words, all those fears that keep coming up, where we don't trust in our being, where we don't trust in our Buddha nature, are really sufficient evidence of this. Whether we talk of succumbing, to irresistible urges and addictions, or being paralyzed by neurotic obsessions, both are psychological ways of articulating our current cohabitation with the devil. This was written by Barbara O'Brien, a Buddhist scholar.

[15:14]

So, you know, our addictions run... are rapid and run varied. And they can be addictions to anxiety, which in and of itself generates, you know, chemicals within the body that we then start to crave and we get stuck in. But Mars really no other than our own inner critic. The voice in our heads that seeks to diminish and criticize our thoughts and actions. How much time do you spend questioning, I should have done this, I shouldn't have done that. Oh, wait, what about this coming up? And particularly, we can get assaulted by this in Zazen. It's like we run off and one thought leads to another. And we think, oh, this, and oh, wait, what about that? And oh, I remember from the past when that happened and such. And we are everything but present.

[16:20]

And so we need to come back to the present. We need to come back to being right here, right now. And one of the ways, as most of you know, if not all of you know, is to count one's breath to bring a focus back. So Mara is that inner critic that wants to diminish and criticize our thoughts and action. So the challenge is, To recognize that voice and withhold the fuel from it. It so clearly desires. Don't feed it. When Mara's voice is rattling in your head, be it in Zazen or walking down the street, don't fuel that voice. Look at the flowers. Look at the clouds. Come back to your body in Zazen. Mara shows up in our meditation and hounds us in our every turn.

[17:25]

So one of the ways that Mara assails us, and I think if we look at these a bit, it may help identify Mara, and it may help identify how not to get so stuck in it. In our Dharma talk on Saturday, Mako, our abbot, talked about the karmic winds that assaulted Buddha. Also, it's referred to as, and as I mentioned, the arrows from Mara. Well, Mara has a quiver with five arrows in it. And these five arrows, Mara never runs out of them. Mara's five never-ending arrows. They can shower down upon us. So it helps to recognize these, which are known as the five hindrances. A primary technique of Mara's. So the five hindrances are sense desire, ill will, dullness, drowsiness, or boredom.

[18:40]

Four is regret and remorse. And five is doubt. So let's just take a quick look at these five hindrances and maybe gain some insight from this to deal with that darkness when it arrives, to deal with those addictions when they arise. So sense, desire. This is when an example of when Mara said... his three daughters down to tempt the Buddha while Buddha sat under the Bodhi tree. But Buddha was not tempted by this. Buddha bought off that or didn't acknowledge or didn't, it did acknowledge, but did not fall into the trap of sense desire. In other words, seeking pleasure, grasping for something somewhere else, even when we get what we want. You know, for me, For many, many years, I never felt I could not meditate.

[19:49]

I tried it, and it didn't work. And what was happening was I wasn't getting what I wanted, or I wasn't getting what I thought I ought to get, or it wasn't coming how and when I thought it should come. So consequently, I invalidated it. Lo and behold, the idea that meditation, that zazen is about being present. It's not about getting something. It's not a gaining idea. What a remarkable concept. More importantly, what a remarkable experience to sit in meditation and do one's best to be present. So sense, desire... It prevented me. I thought I ought to hear celestial sounds. I thought I ought to levitate. I thought I ought to see colors and swirls and rainbows, what have you. And that kept me away from meditation for literally 40 years before I walked into this door now something like 16 years ago.

[21:00]

So not getting what we want puts barriers in front of us. Don't attach. As Dogen says, with attachment, blossoms fall. So I was attaching to meditation, and the blossoms were literally falling. So that's sense desire. The second hindrance is ill will. And that's feelings of hostility, resentment, can get to hatred, can get to bitterness. When all else fails, I resort to aversion, finding fault with others. And indeed, it would be okay if that person over there did this or didn't do that or acted this way or didn't act that way. I try to deflect things from myself onto others. And consequently, I get stuck in ill will.

[22:07]

Consequently, that darkness pervades, and there's just that littlest crack in the dark, the bit of light. So that aversion and ill will and hostility, you know, relates in part to the seventh precept, which talks about don't praise self and disparage others. So when I get into disparaging others, I know, wait a minute, I need to pause. I need to look around. I need to be present. The third hindrance is sloth or torpor. Half-hearted action, being dull, lazy, or sleepy. Sometimes you just need to have it. something to eat. Sometimes you literally need to rest.

[23:10]

Sometimes you need to get up and hit the street. But we can drift off, I do, and can drift off into just being, oh, I don't want to, or I'll just sort of do this. You ever half make your bed that are really making your bed? You know, something like that. Small things, even. So you need to just adjust your posture and wake up, whether it be in the Zendo or it be walking down the street. The fourth hindrance, the fourth arrow that Mara shoots down upon us is regret and remorse. So this... can get involved with agitation. This can get involved with anxiety, which I mentioned before is just another form of addiction. And worry, often deep memories, unresolved from the past, in part what I just spoke about, the passing of my friend 15 years ago.

[24:22]

Oh, if I hadn't have done this, I would be okay today. That's not true. We say all my ancient twisted karma from beginningless greed, hate, and delusion. Born through body, speech, and mind. In other words, I manifest it. In my body, in my mind, in my speech. But I repent that. So you can let go of your regret and your remorse. And the fifth and last hindrance. is doubt. And that's when Buddha went the opposite way and reached down and touched the earth and said, I was the earth and all beings. I am here. So doubt is a lack of conviction, a lack of trust and faith in one's own self. And sometimes having trust and faith in oneself can be difficult.

[25:30]

And this is where A sangha can be very important. It can help support you in that trust and in that faith and tell you that, hey, we're with you. We're here. We can help you. You are okay. You can have faith in yourself. We can become paralyzed by Mara's arrow or not. So we need to cultivate positive mental qualities, and we can do this through gratitude. And just acknowledging yourself for being literally right here, right now, or right there, right now. You are wonderful people. So these are the five hindrances, the arrows that Mara showers upon us. And in that darkness, there is light and there is messages that are presented to us in some ways, gifts given to us that, ah, Maybe you need to look at this this way.

[26:33]

Maybe you need to change your behavior in this sense or in that way. In the Dhammapada, it says, like a fish out of water thrown on high ground, the mind thrashes about trying to escape Mara's command. What a wonderful image. And the mind thrashing about trying to escape the command of Mara. So it's not to escape it. It's to acknowledge it. Excuse me. Be with it. And transform it. Transmutated. I'd like. With a poem from a woman named Emma, who's from India, who now lives and teaches in Zurich. And her poem is called Buddha Answers Mara. Lord Buddha sat under the Bodhi tree, eyes closed, as still as could be.

[27:38]

Body and face aglow was he, deep in meditation one could see. Night clad in dark clouds hovered, dancing shadows the sky covered. Demon Mara rose from the realm of desire. Ominous, potent, flames of fire. Poisoned arrows, he began to shower. On Buddha they fell as perfumed flowers. Dancing maidens, rising with lust, came and fled like the wind, a gust. Why do you labor? What can you see? Who is your witness? Are you enlightened or worthy to be? mocked Mara. That's a question to all of us. Why do we labor? What do we see? Who's our witness?

[28:38]

Are you enlightened? Are you worthy to be enlightened? Buddha half opened his eyes. He answered Mara with words wise. Within me are the dark and the light. Looking deep, I gain insight. You are nothing but an aspect of me embedded in human psyche. I embrace you, Mara. I am free. So that last stanza once more. Within me are the dark and light. Looking deep, I gain insight. You are nothing but an aspect of me embedded in the human psyche. I embrace you, Mara. I am free. You too can be free. We all can be. We all are free. Thank you very much. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center.

[29:40]

Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, please visit sfcc.org and click giving. May we all fully enjoy the Dharma.

[30:00]

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