This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. I don't know if you noticed, but just a moment ago, Reverend Hay put something on my ear. Which... I'm not used to having things hanging from my ears. I haven't ever been a patient in an ICU, but I sort of feel like I've got these things hanging from me. And I thought, oh, yeah, this is an intensive care unit. That seems appropriate.

[01:02]

Care of what? Life? Yeah, intensive care of life. I wonder how many people here are unfamiliar with the word zazen. Would you raise your hands if you haven't heard that word before? Zazen? Okay, so I'd like to talk a little bit about zazen today. don't know if it was in this room I heard the founder of Zen Center say that the job of a Zen priest is to encourage the practice of Zazen.

[02:24]

thinking maybe he felt comfortable to say what the job of a Zen priest is. Being a Zen priest, maybe he wanted to tell other Zen priests who he was teaching what their job was. But, you know, the thought arises as I'm looking at you that the job of a Zen priest could be appropriate also for non-Zen priests. That would be for you to consider as I talk about this job. So Suzuki Roshi says that Zen priests are to encourage Zazen and then even if you're not a Zen priest, you might wonder about whether you wish to encourage the practice of Zazen, whether you wish to encourage yourself to practice it, whether you wish to encourage others to practice it.

[03:43]

And whether you're a Zen priest or not, maybe you'd like to hear a little bit about what Zazen is before you decide whether you're going to encourage people to practice it. So what I'm saying about Zazen is, what I think it is. And what I think it is has something to do with what I think the ancestors, like Suzuki Roshi, thought it was and said it was and demonstrated. I would say then that zazen is the practice of complete, perfect enlightenment.

[04:58]

That zazen is the practice of the Buddha way. It is the practice of enlightenment It is a practice which is inseparable from enlightenment. It is the practice of an awakening that's inseparable from a practice. And it is the practice which awakening is inseparable from. maybe I could say therefore zazen is neither thinking nor not thinking. For example, it's neither ordinary thinking nor is it, for example, dreamless sleep where there's no thinking or a coma.

[06:15]

where there's no thinking. Or a state of deep concentration where thinking has been turned off. There are states that living beings can be living in where there's no thinking. Commonly, many of us, when we're sleeping, enter into a dreamless sleep where there's no thinking. Also, we Many of us dream while we're sleeping. But when we're dreaming, I would suggest we're thinking. But the thinking we're doing when we're asleep and the thinking we're doing when we're awake, I'm saying to you, that is not Zazen. That is not the Buddha way. That is just normal human consciousness, normal karmic consciousness. normal thinking.

[07:16]

So Zazen is not thinking and it's not not thinking. What is it? It is not abiding in thinking when it's going on and not abiding in not thinking when that happens. It's living a life of not abiding in anything. So when you're walking around thinking, Zazen is the way you're not abiding in your thinking. When you're talking to people and thinking about people and thinking about yourself and thinking about what they're thinking about you, all that is thinking. And that is not Zazen. What is Zazen is not abiding in your thinking. And if you're in dreamless sleep or in a deep state of concentration... That's not zazen. Zazen is not abiding in that. Zazen is the mind and body of what we call a bodhisattva or a Buddha.

[08:26]

Zazen is the mind or body of a Buddha or a bodhisattva. And the Buddha teaches the bodhisattvas to enliven a mind that doesn't abide in anything, that doesn't abide in anything. seeing colors, hearing sounds, smelling tastes, touching tangibles, thinking in any way. This is the mind of the Buddha, which is not separate from thinking. When thinking is happening, it totally pervades the thinking with wisdom. and therefore doesn't abide in it. Sazen is not abiding in your thinking and therefore it's perfect wisdom. Perfect wisdom is cultivated by not abiding in our thinking.

[09:26]

So that's the Buddha way. And then one could say, however, living beings do have a tendency to abide in their thinking. As a matter of fact, they have a tendency to think almost all the time and abide in their thinking almost all the time. And abiding in thinking is the definition of suffering to grasp what appears to be going on, the way it appears, is the definition of suffering. So in order to realize non-abiding, if one wishes to, in order to practice zazen of this non-abiding mind, it seems to be necessary to become aware of abiding.

[11:37]

And there's plenty of cases where we're abiding, so lots of opportunities to discover it. And the place where we're... The place, the situation, the realm where we abide is... called sometimes self-consciousness or consciousness where there seems to be somebody there. Consciousness where there seems to be the appearance of a body or a hand and then there's some sense of possession of the hand. Like maybe one person in this room thinks that this hand belongs to him. Maybe some more than one, but I think there's one person who thinks both these hands belong to him.

[12:41]

And the sense of possession gives rise to or supports the presence of somebody, of a self. The hands are kind of easy to notice. The sense of possession is not too difficult to notice. You can see my hands, right? You can see these hands. Can you see the sense of possession? It's not in you, is it? Where is it? You might imagine that there is a sense of possession someplace. Well, that's a self. I mean, that's not a self, but that's a key ingredient in the self. And this person might call the one who owns these hands, me. Or, these are my hands. But you probably wouldn't. There are some other hands, though, that you might call yours.

[13:47]

That sense of self there is a key ingredient, not only, well, it's a key ingredient in consciousness. Without that sense of self, we don't have self-consciousness. And consciousness, I would say today, I'm using the word consciousness as self-consciousness. Without consciousness, we don't have self-consciousness. And self-consciousness is where things appear, where there seems to be a world. where there seems to be a self and other, where there seems to be a possession of some bodies but not other bodies, where there's birth and death, where there's war and peace, where there's language.

[14:53]

This is not the totality of our life. It's not our whole life, this realm of self-concern, this realm where there's a self. It's not our whole life. It's a very important part of our life because it's where we suffer and it's where we learn the Buddha way. But we have much more going on. Our body is not the body that appears in this self-consciousness. A body appears there and there's a sense of owning it, but we have actually another body which doesn't appear. We have a body which is not appearing to us. And that body which doesn't appear to us supports us imagining a body which appears to us. And that body lives with a marvelous cognitive mind, a marvelous cognitive process, which from the point of view of self-consciousness is called unconsciousness by me today.

[16:06]

I am not consciously figuring out how to move these hands. I don't know how to move these fingers. I can't do this marvelous thing. I can't figure out how to move these things like this. It's too complicated for my conscious mind, for my conscious, my self-conscious. But my cognitive processes of my body can move these fingers. And the cognitive process that lives with my body creates a conscious realm where I think I own the dream body that's appearing in consciousness. And it's there in that consciousness that I imagine I can abide, for example, in that dream body or in this dream consciousness

[17:14]

or in this dream self. So again, this is posed as the place of suffering, of birth and death, the conscious mind. The Buddha way is sometimes said to be learned by learning about this self. The Buddha way is not abiding in consciousness. It's not abiding in unconsciousness. It's non-abiding. But in consciousness, there's a well-established tradition of abiding. So to learn the Buddha way is to learn how to not abide, and to learn how to not abide is to learn how we abide, is to study the conscious mind. To learn the Buddha way is to learn the self.

[18:29]

When we learn the self, we forget it, we become free of it. We don't destroy it. It's still available to support consciousness. When we learn it, we don't abide in it. When we don't understand the Self, it looks like a place to abide and we have an irresistible inclination to abide when it looks like we could abide. But when we see that it's not an abode, that it's an ungraspable process, we realize non-abiding. When we understand the Self, we don't abide in it. and we realize the mind of zazen. Going back to zazen again, going back to the mind of no abode,

[19:54]

It has been said, I'm going to say it now, this is like a rendition of words of other people, but today I would say, each moment of zazen is equally wholeness of practice, equally wholeness of enlightenment. Another way to say it is, each moment of zazen is equally the same practice and equally the same enlightenment of you and all beings. All living beings, all beings who have not yet realized perfect enlightenment, their enlightenment and their practice and also the enlightenment and the practice of all Buddhas, each moment of zazen is the same practice as all living beings and all Buddhas.

[21:02]

The same practice and the same enlightenment. There's not multiple zazens. There's not multiple non-abidings. When we enter into the non-abiding mind, we enter into the non-abiding mind of all beings. the zazen of all beings, the enlightenment of all beings, the Buddha way of all beings. And in karmic consciousness, if we don't abide in karmic consciousness, if we don't abide in self or other, we open to the zazen of all beings. If we abide in self or abide in other, that abiding somehow, well, it somewhat obstructs the realization of this Buddha way, which is going on all the time.

[22:21]

In the Buddha way, We are supporting all beings. Right now, you are supporting all beings. And all beings are supporting you. That's the mind of Buddha. Each of us who has a karmic consciousness, a self-consciousness, we are supporting all beings. And all beings are supporting us to have karmic consciousness. We are assisting each other in practicing the mind of Buddha right now. And this assistance is imperceptible. It's not an image that appears in karmic consciousness. There's no image. There can be an image of it, but the image is not it. Like right now I'm saying these words and images can arise in our minds of what it's like for us to be non-imaginatively assisting each other to live together.

[23:37]

This fact of Buddha's mind is all pervaded but without practicing this non-abiding mind of Zazen it's not yet fully realized. Even to hear these words and consider them is a step towards realization or it's compatible with realization. But if I'm holding a little bit, if I'm abiding a little bit, that forestalls to some extent the realization. of the way we're living in peace and harmony with each other and the whole universe right now. Now again, what if I am abiding? Well, okay, then I'm suffering and I can be aware of the suffering and I can maybe see it looks like I'm also abiding.

[24:50]

And then how do I practice with that abiding in order to not abide? Well, we practice by doing bodhisattva practice with the abiding. And with the suffering and stress and boredom and frustration and pain and pleasure and happiness and unhappiness that happens with abiding. We start by practicing generosity. Towards what? Well, everything, just to make sure we don't miss anything. And everything will include being gracious towards the abiding, being gracious towards self and self-concern.

[26:01]

Many people notice self and self-concern and they say that they're getting sick of it, sick and tired of it. They want to get out of self-consciousness. They hate or they dislike. They're irritated by self-consciousness. Me, me, me, me, me. somebody says, not being happy with that statement. But if there is me, [...] first thing to do with me, [...] besides listening to it, is listen to it, compassionately listen to it, generously. If we, if I, if you and I could completely welcome me, [...] me. If we could do it just completely, perfectly be generous with self-concern, we wouldn't abide in it.

[27:15]

But you know, but self-concern can take these very difficult ways It can manifest as concern with getting old, concern with losing your mind, concern with whether you're smart or not, concern with illness of the self and of what the self is related to. It's hard to welcome some things. It's hard to welcome the appearance of a cruel person. who's called me or called you. It's hard to welcome that. It's hard to be generous to cruelty. For some people it's hard. Some people are so good at generosity that they can welcome cruelty in all the wide varieties of it. These people are called Buddhas. No matter how cruel people are appearing,

[28:24]

they welcome it because they don't abide in the appearance of cruelty. And by not abiding in the appearance of cruelty, we realize that we are in a harmonious relationship with cruelty, with the appearance of cruelty, that we support cruelty, And cruelty supports us in a harmonious, peaceful and liberating fashion. We don't push away the cruelty. If it appears, we welcome it. And we realize what it is. And realizing what it is, we maintain the Buddha Dharma. and all living beings and the great earth attain the Buddha way.

[29:28]

That's the first bodhisattva practice, basically. Generosity. And it is applied to everything that appears in our life, which means everything that appears in karmic consciousness, in self-consciousness. We do not do this practice in our unconscious mind. Our unconscious mind supports the creation of our conscious mind where kindness and cruelty appear and where we can practice generosity. And when we practice generosity in our conscious mind, that practice transforms our unconscious mind. And the unconscious mind supports the arising of another conscious mind which is more likely by such practice to continue to do such a practice. I cannot consciously make myself generous.

[30:41]

But when generosity arises, it becomes a condition for more generosity. You cannot consciously make me say what I'm saying to you now. And I can't either. I'm not in control of what I'm saying, and neither are you, but you and I are supporting me to speak these words about generosity. And again, I say, if we can do generosity completely, it would be perfect wisdom. It would be the mind of zazen, not abiding in whatever we're being generous towards. Terrible sickness. I don't like terrible sickness. And I may not hate terrible sickness, but if I wish to realize the Bodhisattva mind of Zazen, I practice generosity towards sickness. Now, our dear friend, Abbot Steve Stuckey, he has a terrible, painful illness, and I feel that he is practicing generosity

[31:53]

He is showing us how to practice generosity with his terrible pain and disease. I can't see him right now, but knowing the way he has appeared to me in the past, I think he's still practicing generosity towards his illness. I don't think he likes it, and he maybe doesn't hate it. but I think he's welcoming it. And I don't think he's exactly grateful that he's sick. I think he's grateful that he can be generous to his sickness. When I'm sick and I'm generous towards it, I feel like I'm doing my job as a Zen priest. In other words, I'm encouraging Zazen when I welcome my sicknesses, my aging. my waning.

[32:57]

In this building in 1971, our founder was very sick. I got to watch him welcome his disease, his cancer. That's the first bodhisattva practice. That's the first thing we do with our abiding in our body and mind. We practice generosity. Then we practice, and again I said, if we can do it completely, it is perfect wisdom. But usually we can't do it completely without then going on to practice ethical discipline. So for example, if it's illness, okay, here comes illness. What am I supposed to do? it again oh yeah I'm supposed to not abide in it but I am abiding in it so how do I deal with the illness and the abiding I practice generosity with it oh and I can great or I can't and I'll try again and again oh now I feel like I'm pretty generous towards my disease towards my pain

[34:27]

I've let it into my life. But it can sometimes happen that you let a difficult guest into your home, into your life, into your heart, and once it's inside, you say, wait a minute, that was a mistake. And then you might say, you know, take it back, go away. Or you might try to kill it. Or you might try to intoxicate yourself so you don't feel it. or you might try to lie about it, or you might say bad things about it. In other words, you might practice unethical responses to it, even though you let it in, which is the beginning. The beginning of becoming free of abiding is to study the abiding, and the beginning of studying the abiding is to welcome it. But then once you welcome it, you have to look to see, did you think that after you welcomed it, it would go away? As a matter of fact, I did, yeah, right.

[35:31]

In other words, I was welcoming it because I heard this is the path to wisdom which doesn't abide in the sickness. But actually, I was trying to get something by welcoming. In other words, I was trying to take what was not given, and so on. We study the bodhisattva ethical principles in relationship to whatever, well, in particular, in relationship to our clinging, our abiding in our self. And then we move on to practice patience. Patience with what? Patience with we're still clinging, we're still self-concerned, we're still afraid because we're concerned about me, me, me. We're still afraid what's going to happen to me, me, me. We're still concerned with our approval rating. maybe not you, but I used to be somebody who was all day long concerned with the approval rating.

[36:35]

When you abide in the self, you might be concerned with your approval rating. So now I say I have a practice to deal with that. Be generous towards being concerned with approval rating. Be generous with the watching to see what's the latest approval rating. 44%, good. No, bad. Be patient with the pain of self-concern. Be patient with the pain that arises from the abiding mind. The abiding mind is painful. Be patient with the pain. Be generous with it. Be ethical with it. Be patient with it. And then be diligent with it. Diligent. Enthusiastic. About what? I'm not enthusiastic about self-clinging.

[37:43]

I'm not enthusiastic about pain. I'm not enthusiastic about suffering. I'm not enthusiastic about abiding. I'm not enthusiastic about not practicing like a bodhisattva. What I'm enthusiastic about is practicing like a bodhisattva. I'm enthusiastic about not abiding. I think it's really a good idea. Really. And I keep thinking about it until I feel, yeah, I'm going to give it a try. It's not just a good idea. I'm going to devote my life to it forever and also today. I'm going to start now. Diligence is kind of a practice which a lot of Zen students kind of forget about. Or they never even heard of it.

[38:49]

Part of the practice is if you're inspired to practice bodhisattva, virtues, if you're inspired to practice generosity, ethics, patience, diligence, concentration, and wisdom, great. But when you're not inspired, when you're not energetic about it, rather than wait until someday when you are again, you practice contemplating what you want to do until you feel energy coming up. from that contemplation. You think about your aspiration to practice the zazen, which is the Buddha way, which is enlightenment, which is the way we're living together in peace. You want to practice that, you want to practice that, you remember you do, you think about it until you feel the energy, the enthusiasm to practice it. Without reviewing it, without refreshing it, without renewing it,

[39:54]

without recreating it, the energy gets used up and doesn't come back. We have to work. We have to work to generate heroic energy to practice. And then we also have to then think, I would like now to practice concentration. I would like to practice being concentrated, being focused, being aware of my body and breathing. I would like to be aware of my breathing body, undistractedly, calmly, openly, with relaxation. I want to pay attention to this body and I want to pay attention to the consciousness where this body lives, where this body appears. Because I understand that this will set up the wisdom which doesn't abide. And now I wish to

[40:55]

Remember the teachings that the bodhisattva zazen mind doesn't abide in anything. I listen to those teachings. I listen to them. I recite them. I remember them. I write them. I teach them. I say them. I encourage them. I explain them. I comment on them. I listen to them. I say them, I recite them until they sink into my unconscious and the teachings then come back up in my conscious and I'm thinking more and more about the bodhisattva mind that doesn't abide and liberates all suffering and distress. The ancestors say that when we sit zazen, when we take care of our body and mind, we are maintaining the essential working of the Buddha way.

[42:04]

And any hindrance to this practice, we have a way to deal with it. We practice generosity. ethics, patience, diligence, concentration, and wisdom with the hindrance. We study the self until there's no abiding in it. We settle ourself in the self by generosity, kindness, and so on. until the self drops away and there's no abiding. And drops away doesn't mean the self isn't there. It means the self becomes a place of non-abiding. We give intensive care to the conscious mind.

[43:29]

We give intensive care to self and self-clinging in the form of the bodhisattva practices. We apply the bodhisattva practices to self and self-clinging and this relieves self-clinging And this opens the door to Buddha's zazen practice. And then we do it again with the next state of consciousness. So I could just now... say everything I said again, but that would maybe not be necessary. Actually, it is necessary.

[44:32]

And I will say it again. But I'll leave the room before I do it again. So you can decide what you want to say again. What do you want to be thinking about to remind yourself of zazen? How were you? remind yourself to practice? How will you remind yourself to practice taking care of learning what the self is? How will you remind yourself to remember the Buddha way? What will you rehearse and remind yourself of? What will you be mindful of to reorient yourself on the path of liberation and peace in this world with so much sickness and suffering. What I told you is what I try to remind myself of and I don't always remember but this is pretty much what I

[45:48]

and reminding myself about, I'm sharing with you my meditation text, my zazen instruction. And I ask you, what is your meditation text? What way of thinking are you wishing to do that you think would be helpful to this world and worlds beyond? Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, please visit sfzc.org and click Giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[46:48]

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