This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good evening. I'd like to start with us sitting for a few minutes. Whenever I hear those words, and I'm surpassed, penetrating in perfect dharma, it's rarely met with even in a hundred thousand million kappas. What it brings to mind for me is that collectively, of course, if we were all in the same room, this would have a palpable relationship between our bodies. But still, we're here collectively. So just sit for a few minutes and open up that space, that space where being is more palpable or maybe at least somewhat palpable in relationship to the sense of self that wants to tell the world what it is.

[01:30]

rather than listening and experiencing being. So, let's just sit with that in mind, that in heart. And I'd offer you this strange instruction. As you find your posture, bring your awareness to your lips. Maybe you've noticed that usually in Bodhidharma's depictions, in paintings, he's got like a reverse smile. Instead of the end of his lips curving up, they curl down. Let your lips, let your mouth totally relax. Let your tongue inside your mouth relax.

[02:41]

Then see if you can let your nasal passages be behind the nose, inside the face. Can you relax? Can you out? Soften and you're softened. Open your eyes a little bit more. Just a note of seeing.

[03:59]

Noticing seeing is a three-dimensional event. Noticing here. surround sound. Sound's coming. Some subtle, some a little louder. Come on to it. the breath be deliberate.

[05:24]

Not deliberate in making it happen or even trying to slow it down. Just this passage of life that flows in and flows out. in being, be allowed to be.

[06:30]

And whatever arises, lean back to that, whether it's a sound, a sight, a thought, sensation of the breath and the body. So as you've heard many times by now, the theme of this practice period, this intensive that we're going through, is taking refuge and creating refuge.

[08:49]

It's very helpful to think of connecting what is the being, what is, is taking refuge. That we're tuning in something extraordinarily fundamental. I think of it as the lived expression of the con. What were you before your parents were born? What were you before the layers of conditioning? The influence of the DNA? of your society, the influences of your education and family dynamic. What is it to just sit and let all that quiver, vibrate in just being

[10:00]

To me, it's also closely linked to the bodhisattva vow that says delusions. Actually, the original language uses the word klesha, which usually translates as a kind of a stuck state of being. Such things inevitable in our human lives they arise frequently and our intention is to practice with them and this is to my mind this is the heart of the intention of the stuckness is the occasions of stuckness are numberless allowing the practice in the midst of them so that's what i'd like to try to talk about this evening

[11:32]

I had the good fortune to have Kevin. I'm not sure if you're here, Kevin. I assume you are somewhere in the sheets of names. Kevin sent me some poems by a Ukrainian poet. whose name is Zerhi Zadan. And he's the lead singer for a ska punk band called Zadan and the Dogs. And as all these things arose, I mean, he wrote this poem, linking it to another time, in Ukraine when there was an oppression.

[12:44]

Interesting, actually, there were two times when it was an oppression, and both were linked with Russia. They have a long history. And it's interesting because it wasn't always that Russia was the big bullet It was times when Ukraine was the dominant country in the area. But here's what Azir He said in his poem. How do we build our houses? And I was thinking of replacing the word houses with home. How do we build our home? It's very similar to saying, how do we take refuge? How do we build our home when you're standing under winter skies and the heavens turn and sail away?

[13:52]

When you're standing under winter skies and the heavens turn and sail away. You know, you've got to live somewhere where you aren't afraid to die. Tracious afflictions are inexhaustible. I like to practice with them. That way, We really, really would like it to be just the way we want it. That way in which something else wants to hold back until that happens. That's how it is for us. of days after russians invaded ukraine a student who's from odessa southern ukraine and she said when i got news that they had invaded i couldn't get out of bed for three days

[15:25]

heavens turn and sail away when our life with its so-called normalcy even though we grumble about it even though we're holding back waiting for it to be perfect when it's torn asunder Utterly shocked. And it's a extraordinary moment for us. That peculiar way in which we don't know what we've got till it's gone. And the shock of, well, what is the world now? What am I? Now that the context in which I've become accustomed to living has changed.

[16:34]

And what is it to live there? What is it to live somewhere where you're not afraid of change? What is it to live somewhere you're not holding back waiting for things to be ideal to be perfect you're not holding back grumbling because of what someone said or didn't do or because your own being is not behaving itself in the way that you prefer How do we build our home? When you're standing under winter skies and the heavens turn and sail away.

[17:42]

When a neighboring country rolls in with all their tanks and their guided missiles and their aircraft and their cruise missiles shot in from the Black Sea. No, you've got to live somewhere. We aren't afraid to die. So, the person who told me they couldn't get out of bed for three days. I was struck by... matter-of-factness of it. And she said, and then I got out of bed, you know, I have a husband and three kids, and, you know, I made them food, but I couldn't eat that food.

[18:54]

Something is radically different in the end. It was part of me now, and I was part of it now. I mean, I could go through the motions of doing what I usually do, but it's a little bit like, these are my words, a little bit like I wasn't living where I was living. I wasn't being what I was being. I wasn't taking refuge. being right now. And then, as she recounted this, she went on to say, you know, I'm learning to be

[20:05]

in this new world. And learning to let the shark, the impact of it, exist, but coexist with what is. In this part, He wrote another poem, at least quite recently. Everything will change. How interestingly, I expect all of us listening tonight have heard that many, many, many times. all impermanence, one of the three marks of existence, guided, but happily.

[21:15]

Everything will change. The measure of things which you accept so easily will change. The voice which grew thicker in the dark will get worse. And everything will change for you too. You won't escape with a warning. Your breath will change. In the end, you will recite a memorized list of apologies, teachings, and faults. Dryness will change. Wetness from the lowlands will change. The fields, winter cold, will change. yet we have this teaching. Maybe in our desperation we could say this path to salvation, taking refuge.

[22:27]

How do we take refuge? How do we take refuge in a way that includes this world and all the people in it? Has any one of us never tried to get what we want? I suspect none of us has lined up 190,000 soldiers and marched into another country. But still, seminal in our being, seminal in our inquiry into what is it to take reference? What is it to live where you live, knowing it's imperfect? How do we do that? Interestingly, the person said who's from Ukraine, from Budesa.

[23:40]

She said, I made food for my husband and my three children, and I couldn't eat it. All I could eat was potatoes and eggs. You start wherever you can start. Wherever some space opens up for you, that's where you look to find yourself. Wherever you can make contact, It's in some ways, it's an inner work. And in some ways, it's about stopping being afraid of being alive.

[24:43]

And being alive with others. It's about receiving. the six parameters, the six paths, the six expressions of perfection. How do we take refuge in an imperfect world? We discover that imperfection has its own blessing. We let in what others cared. I was talking to someone recently who just discovered they have cancer, and they were saying that it was an uplifting gift to see the way their family gathered together

[26:03]

To take care of them. That in itself. Was the medicine they needed. That in itself. Was the healing. We give ourselves. To what we care for. To who we care for. and we receive it. And this world we live in will be exactly what it will be. When the poet wrote that poem in his first thinking about an ethnic group in Crimea,

[27:05]

which used to be part of, and depending upon your thinking, still is part of Ukraine. And in Stalin's time, they were persecuted and pushed out of the country. And then exactly 100 years later, was it exactly 100 years? Oh, that was in 44, 1944. And then in 2014, The same thing happened again. Originally, his poem was about that. And because he released it in February on the anniversary. And then it suddenly became about what was happening right now. This is our work. whether it's the negotiation we do with ourselves, or with the people we're close to, the people who care for us and we care for them, or whether we do it with the person we meet on the street.

[28:24]

This giving and receiving. In our middle chant, we say, Giving and receiving. Giver, receiver, and gift. They're in, to use a Christian term, they're in the divine dance of the circle of being. Or in Buddhist terms, they represent interbeing. How do we learn that the teaching of being in such a way is present? What turns in us that helps us to, rather than focus on its imperfection, oh, it's not quite what we want it to be, or sometimes

[29:38]

It's not in any way what we want it to be. How do we learn to take refuge? The paramitas say the generosity of giving and receiving, the virtuous conduct, the virtuous conduct of Opening up presence, the virtuous conduct of being present. The virtuous conduct of not letting the activities of self-centeredness define what is. And then the third paramita, to be present. willing to suffer with, to be willing to stay with the numberless traces, the numberless ways in which we get stuck.

[30:54]

And the people around us being the numberless ways they get stuck. So these three paramitas, they form... precious foundation. And then the next three parameters, Vriya, essentially meaning wisdom, but also meaning effort, meaning engagement, consistent engagement. And meaning... That sense of energy, enthusiasm, zeal that comes up. There's a resonance between our being and what's at hand, whether it's a task or the charm of another person or the delight of doing.

[32:05]

And then, the immersion into, the immersion in the jhana, jhana, sometimes described as deep concentration. It's just like viriya can have different modalities depending on the context and depending on our state of consciousness. Sukhanjana. It's so interesting that sometimes an intense experience, like when I talk to that student who was still in the state of shock, from her home, her homeland, her home time being invaded.

[33:13]

The intensity of presence was palpable. It certainly wasn't what she was hoping for. It certainly wasn't something that brought her joy and pleasure and a sense of... and being a wonderful occurrence, but there was an intensity to it. And interestingly, in her recog of her distress, it's like something of her practice was shining through. So be it. I don't like it. I don't want it. I hope it changes quickly. So be it. the absorption, the immersion of that nature of being. And then as we engage, as Dogen Senji says, when we engage in a way where we literally forget the self, when we bring forth doing what we're doing,

[34:38]

so thoroughly that there's no doer. There's just the doing. And how do we remind ourselves during our day when we're doing, when we're carrying out our to-do list? How do we do that? And in the Zen world, all of these notions are koans. Pay attention. Be present. And the being and the doing will teach us. And then there's the absorption that...

[35:43]

There's no inside or outside. There's no doing and no doer. There's just this flow of energized activity. And interestingly, you know, when we taste some of that, when we experience some of that, the energy of it gives us a sense of affirmation, a sense of something significant has been accomplished. Usually, when we're not used to it, we take it personally. I've seen God. I've realized Nirvana. I've had a Ken show. And then, since everything's impermanent, it changes, and then we're challenged.

[37:04]

Can you let it go, what you thought had become you? The paradox of that challenge is, and as you explore it, can you find it everywhere? That's their truth. And as we engage in this way, we create refuge. When we attend to each moment, when we attend to each interaction, when we attend to reach each doing and being, We're creating refuge. When this person from Odessa was describing this to me, I felt like I was being given a very important teaching.

[38:10]

This is what's at the heart of our practice. Call it whatever you like. Name it in whatever way you like. But this human existence, this shared existence in which things happen, then we quiver in its presence. And even When we dearly wish it was different, it energizes us. It challenges us to find how to take refuge, how to create refuge. And then this is the sixth perfection. This discovery.

[39:17]

this realization, this illumination, this way of being, rather than being another opportunity or circumstance of being afflicted becomes an opportunity of possibility, an opportunity of opening. And so, even the line, you know you've got to live somewhere where you aren't afraid to die. Even the line, that line gets turned on its head. We were not afraid to let go of the self.

[40:19]

We were not afraid to be to stop being dictated by what we want and what we don't want. How do we build our home? How do you build your home? when the neighboring country is bombing it? How do we build our home when we're stuck in a mind that is replaying its resentments and disappointments? How do we build our home when you're standing under winter skies and the heavens turn

[41:23]

And sail away. Just like that. Impermanence happens. And you know. You've got to live somewhere. You've got to live somewhere. You aren't afraid to die. So I hope that's not too, too scary for this time of night. I hope you can see, I hope it offers you, certainly I find myself, I had my own version of shock about the Ukraine invasion.

[42:30]

I had my own dreams of invasion could live and how to stay close to that. Our Buddhist practice is not to help us push that into the corners or vary it under a mountain of, you know, concentration. We let it come out. Like we're opening Pandora's box and the whole world is allowed to be what it is. And of course, how can we not but hope? I read an article this morning

[43:34]

I think it was the Israeli foreign minister was negotiating between the Ukrainians and the Russian government, Putin. And there was some positive comments there. And I could watch myself grasp them. Yes. even that statement of, well, we have to be given that, you know, already the peace terms are starting to be proposed, you know, in that adamant statement. That's what my mind did. And still, It is what it is.

[44:36]

Can we live there? Can we take refuge there? Can we find a way to hold this fragile life that we share in a way that allows it to have not just virtue, but to have a tenderness, to have a way in which We can all thrive. Okay. Thank you very much. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, please visit sfzc.org and click Giving.

[45:40]

May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[45:43]

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