Takata's words. So, good morning. As you know, this is the first day of the Winter 2020 Intensive Sashin. And I would like to extend... Is it on? ... technical difficulties. Yeah, it is on. Okay. See what happens. So I would like to welcome everyone and extend my appreciation for your participation. And as it's often described, this is a kind of journey that we're

[01:00]

Beginning together, I'm sorry, I'm a little distracted. I'm wondering if Joshin wants me to keep going. Yeah, okay. So this is a journey, and I think that like any journey, it has its wonders and its irritations and its revelations and pleasures and so on. And so we can sort of think of ourselves as all staying in the same hotel or we're all traveling on the same train and that we all have a variety of intentions and hopes and dreads and just kind of resignations one thing after another. In previous talks and classes, I referred to Evagrius Ponticus. He lived from 345 to 400 CE, which is about 1,600 years ago.

[02:04]

And he was one of the desert fathers and spent many years in the Egyptian desert. And he was also a philosopher, a Greek philosopher. So he brought that to his... hermit practice and his life and his works were scrutinized by the early church and they were not considered entirely supportable and yet here he is he's very important in the Christian tradition interestingly enough one of the problems they had with him is that he didn't mention Christ or Jesus very often he spoke about God and I'll As I'm talking about him, that might make more sense. During his lifetime, he was criticized. After his death, his writings were attacked and even sometimes condemned.

[03:06]

Sometimes he was also praised, but more frequently he was ignored. However, in the living currents of spirituality, his influence was constantly at work. like some underground river giving freshness and vitality to the soil and causing springs to erupt further and further along, wherever it flowed, unseen, unknown. So I first studied Evagrius in one of the courses in my Master's of Theology program. And in the introduction to my master's thesis, my thesis was on the resonances in Buddhism and Christianity in terms of ethics and faith. So one of the resonances that I discovered was some imagery from the Rinzai Zen master Hakuin and Evagrius. Hakuin described entering through meditation into a state beyond thought and concept, comparable to being inside a diamond or a jar of lapis lazuli or sitting frozen to death in a field of ice.

[04:23]

And Evagrius wrote, and this was about prayer for those who were involved in ascetic practices, This state of the mind is an intellectual peak comparable in color to the sky. When the mind, after having stripped off the old person, has been recoded in the new one who comes from grace, then it will see its state at the moment of prayer similar to sapphire or to this color of the sky. So this blueness that seems to be in there and clarity. And I think this is often the case for meditators and mystics and spiritual seekers. Hakuan and Vagrius are on the fringes of their traditions. And neither of them seem to have worried about that or been very concerned. And for Vagrius, the true self emerges through prayer and contemplation.

[05:28]

Then there is peace, that calm, that security. that repose, that leisure, that reality so rich that it cannot be circumscribed by any words. This is what the term Hezekiah said for Evagrius. And Hezekiah is a Greek word, and it means stillness, rest, quiet, silence, and it's also interpreted as recollection, which is an aspect of certain types of contemplation and prayer. And as I have already said, this is the function of shamatha, or calming meditation, to establish the stillness that's the foundation for applying deep meditation toward realization. And I think there's nothing to be afraid of in this. It's the process of the Zen path that's described as, in the beginning, mountains are mountains and rivers are rivers.

[06:35]

Then mountains are no longer mountains and rivers are no longer rivers. And then mountains are mountains and rivers are rivers again. And what I think this process is, it's something that I usually refer to as deconstruction. And it's about examining what we might call our preferences or what we already know. And... examining them so closely that they start to dissipate. And then there's a little disorientation in that. Mountains are no longer mountains. But then mountains are really mountains. So it has that sort of process to it. And I think in Sishin, this is the function of the silence that we agreed to hold for ourselves and each other. It's not just the silence of not speaking. but when you do speak, to speak very calmly and directly.

[07:36]

And it's not a demand so much for quiet, but it's a form of listening so deeply that silence begins to permeate everything. Because what we often hear as noise or disturbance is just a sound we don't like, or... something loud that disrupts us or something like that. And that's actually quite reasonable. So you're not like, oh, I shouldn't feel that way, but oh, that's what that sound does. What is that sound evoking in me that has that sense of preference one way or the other? So I would suggest during this sishin, since we have this opportunity, to examine sound very deeply and experiment with listening deeply to every sound, at the same time giving attention to your breath and your posture, which is walking, standing, sitting, or lying down.

[08:45]

And I think this effort is demanding, which is why we have to create a container like Sashin to accommodate it. I think this is this opportunity to notice when we're engaged in just listening and when we might be engaged in directing or controlling, and that is relating to things through desire, aversion, and boredom. And... Those qualities, desire, aversion, and boredom, are also resources, as I've been saying. So you don't have to judge them, but just give them attention. And you don't have to indulge them, but just give them attention. And where does your mind go from moment to moment or hour to hour or day to day?

[09:48]

Getting familiar with the way it works and the patterns and that sort of thing. a theologian commented that the mysticism of Evagrius was closer to that of Buddhism than that of Christianity. And I think that might be part of the reason I responded to him in the way that I did and also found him funny, which I'm not sure everyone would. But he is also very concerned with ethics as a foundation for deep, contemplation and prayer and he mentions states that are comparable to the hindrances so what is meditation about really i think in some ways it's very natural and um i read somewhere that uh children and animals naturally engage in meditation without you know it being something that they're planning it's just um

[10:57]

a kind of relationship with things, a quietness or something. And I know now that I did that quite a bit as a child and as a teenager. I would just stop sometimes and stare out the window for a while and then wake up, stand up and feel different. And I didn't worry about it, but I enjoyed it. So I think it's not so strange. But to develop it requires... application and practice, and this something that is often referred to as humility or faith. So in a way, it's like you're given this map, and it's very accurate. It tells you exactly how to get to where you're going. But along the way, you have to decide when you're going to rest, when you're going to eat, when you're going to take a shortcut, and whether to push on, through bad weather and darkness and so on.

[12:01]

So what I think Evagrius did, and I think this is very similar to the Buddha's approach, is he integrated philosophy and spiritual experience. He emphasized cultivating apatheia, which means without suffering or without passion. So this is not our usual way we use apatheia, the word apathy. So it's not about not feeling or not caring, but it's about negotiating and accommodating the passion, such as anger and desire and all their related emotions, and becoming deeply familiar with them, and then applying the insights that they evoke as both self-understanding and understanding and love for others. So he... Evagrius considers apatheia to be the door to contemplation. So the mind has an extraordinary capacity for observing itself, and we're often too busy to pay attention to that.

[13:11]

But when we do start to pay attention, different sensations might arise. There might be a sort of ease and curiosity, even humor, or fear, shame, boredom, and so on. So a vibrator came up with a system of eight hindrances that he calls demons. Some of them will be familiar to you if you've studied the hindrances. Gluttony, impurity or lust, avarice. sadness or resentment, anger, ascidia or sloth or akidia, vainglory, and pride. So these are pretty familiar, and most of us experience them in a superficial level and also in a deep level when we engage in meditation. So one that might be interesting to some of you is akidia or ascidia, sloth or boredom.

[14:18]

And I mentioned in the class how, you know, Evagrius mentions this and he says, you know, you kind of want to go outside and see if one of the other monks is around so you can wave to them or something like that. Well, this is the description. The demon of Assyria, also called the noonday demon, is the one that causes the most serious trouble of all. First of all, this demon makes it seem that the sun barely moves, if at all. Then he constrains the monk to look constantly out the windows, to walk outside the cell, to gaze carefully at the sun to determine how far it stands from the ninth hour, which is dinner time. To look now this way, and now that, to see if perhaps one of the brethren appears from his cell. This demon leads him to reflect that charity has departed from among the brethren, that there is no one to give encouragement.

[15:24]

No other demon follows close upon the heels of this one when the demon is defeated, but only a state of deep peace and inexpressible joy arise out of this struggle. So that's... one of the kind of streams or lineages or continuities in Evagrius that you might encounter in other descriptions of spiritual effort and path. This place of boredom or dryness and how important it is and how the accommodation of it and the struggle with it is very important to this realization of peace, deep peace and inexpressible joy.

[16:30]

And that this isn't an end because it's actually a foundation for negotiating the other demons or hindrances, recognizing them, sympathizing. with what causes they have arisen. And Evagrius says, anger is given to us so that we might fight against the demons and strive against every pleasure. And I'll just say these demons who are standing on the sides of the altar, that is their purpose. Their purpose is to frighten away threatening demons. And so this is what he's referring to here as the way your anger can be creative in that way. And he continues, now it happens, the angels suggest spiritual pleasure to us and the beatitude that is consequent upon it so as to encourage us to turn our anger against the demons.

[17:38]

And so there's this kind of ambiguity. about the hindrances and about struggling with them, these demons, that that ambiguity allows them to both hinder and work with and in support of our efforts and against our resistance to be free of suffering. So they show us ourselves. As the Buddha suggested, Vagrius also suggests that the monk needs to keep careful watch over their thoughts. And I think while we're at that, we may wish to offer calm and peace for others and wish for their realization, whether we experience that or not. And I think this wish allows us to be in communal...

[18:40]

contemplation or meditation while also making our own personal effort. So in other words, it's a kind of inclusion in our effort of everyone's effort and offering our effort to others and receiving their support. So that's why we're doing this together. And of course, everyone struggles with the same demons or hindrances. And even though Evagrius says this curious thing, he says, we may not love everyone equally, but it's certainly possible to hope for everyone's freedom and joy, however that unfolds and however it manifests. So as we engage, you know, alone and together in Sashin, I think it's good to remember that this is just a few days of your life and that you are participating voluntarily, even if someone required you to be here.

[19:47]

If you're at Zen Center, you've already said, I volunteer. And I can't promise experiences involving diamonds and lapis lazuli and ice and diamonds. I mean, sapphires. I already said diamonds. Or the deep... blue of the sky. But I recommend that you take care of yourselves and take care of each other, that you also leave yourself alone and leave others alone, and pay attention to what arises and passes away, and enjoy this short time of freedom. I would like to end with a poem by someone named Finn Wilcox, who is a friend of Red Pine, who's done a lot of translations from Chinese Buddhism and poetry and that sort of thing. And it's about a visit that they made to a hermit on Mount Zhua.

[20:52]

I think I can pronounce it. Zhihuashan. in 1991. It's called Nine Flower Mountain. Perched on the edge of a cloud-torn ridge high in the mountains of Chihuahuan, a shaved-head nun sweeps alone the entrance to her vine-covered cave. A few tufts of wind-blown bamboo, the persistent pine, growing straight out of stone. A place so graceful, so tough and real, even the immortals feel a shiver up the spine. She spots us ascending the narrow path, sets aside the broom, pours water for tea. Afterward, we burn a stick of incense, leave a twenty on the smoking lamp-lit altar.

[21:56]

then follow her up a rain-polished trail to moon-viewing peak where the whole of China is spread at our feet. I watch her point out waterfalls that drape like silk from old granite cliffs and wonder what brought her here so many years ago. A poorly arranged marriage, some magnificent loss of face, or the simple pleasure of living alone. in the profound silence of mountains. In the afternoon, black clouds swirl slowly up the valley floor, a signal. We must make our way back to buses and dust and a billion scattered souls. But before we leave, our nun gives us gingered plums and a walk through the garden, where we left her grinning at tiger tracks. in the sand. Thank you very much.

[23:03]

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