Good morning. Good morning. So this is Shark. We don't use O'Connor. Frasier. Shark Frasier. O'Connor Frasier. Have I got it right? Just O'Connor. Shark O'Connor to my right. And his debut performance is Jico. Shark is S-E-A-R-C. Today is kids lecture. Help me out. Help me out. Get in there. Get in there. Yeah. So today is kids lecture and we have

[01:02]

Some children, but I think it's, I have a story to read, and I think it's given the temper of the time and the era and the situation that we're in, it's a good time for a kid's story for everybody. So I'm going to read it to everybody today and with the kids. So you can come up if he wants to be a little closer. There are pictures in this book. So we'll start out with a story. And we'll end with a story, too. You got him? So this is, this was given to, it's a gift to Zen Center, the children's program from Reese Morganum. He's a student that comes to me, and he liked this story called The Giving Tree very much. And I was looking for a story that would harmonize with the talk today, and I thought this fits. or this would have some relationship.

[02:05]

So... Has anybody heard this story, by the way? I think everybody except me did, actually. Everybody was telling me about it. So I'm going to read this story to Sharky. And what was your name? I can't remember. What was your name? I can't remember behind you. My name is Mark. Annabella, that's right, that's a beautiful name. Annabella, hi Annabella. And one more. Who's that? Taurin. Taurin, great names. Annabella, Taurin, and Sharkey. Okay, great. So, oops. So once there was a tree, you can come over here if you want to be closer to look at the pictures.

[03:08]

Once there was a tree and she loved a little boy. It's a picture of a big tree with leaves spread out and generosity. And every day the boy would come and he would gather her leaves. make them into crowns and play king of the forest. Have you ever made a crown wreath? Have you ever done that? I don't know. A little wreath out of crowns, something for your head. How about you, Torrin? You do that. I don't know. I've never done that. And then he would make them into crowns and play king of the forest. And he would climb up her trunk and and swing from her branches. I used to do that.

[04:09]

Do you swing? Do you climb trees? Do you like climbing trees? Has everybody climbed a tree at least once? Big adventure. Did your parents yell at you? Did they get scared? Did they come back down? And he would swing from her branches and eat apples. And they would play hide and seek. And the little boy's hiding from the tree. And when he was tired, he would sleep in her shade. And the boy loved the tree. Very much. And the tree was happy. The tree was happy. We'll do this story next year, I think. But some time went by. And the boy grew older. Started to grow up. Bigger. I used to measure. Do you ever measure yourself when you get bigger?

[05:10]

Do you measure yourself at all? I used to measure myself. My mother would measure me against the wall or the door jam, I remember. I would look at it all the time. It was easier when I didn't look so often. And the tree was often alone as the boy grew up. And then one day the boy came to the tree and the tree said... Yeah. Yeah. come boy, come and climb up my trunk and swing from my branches and eat apples and play in my shade and be happy. Sounds pretty wonderful. The boy said, but you know, I'm too big to climb and play now. I want to buy things and have fun. I want some money. Will you give me some money? I'm sorry, said the tree, but I have no money. I have only leaves and apples. Take my apples, boy, and sell them in the city, and then you will have money, and you will be happy. And so the boy climbed up the tree and gathered her apples, and he carried them all away.

[06:14]

And the tree was very happy. The boy stayed away for a long time, didn't come back and visit the tree again. And the tree was sad now. And then one day the boy came back and the tree shook with joy and said, come boy, climb up on my trunk and swing from my branches and be happy. And the boy said, you know, I'm too busy to climb trees now. Now he's a man. So all of his hair is going away in this picture. I want a house to keep me warm, he said, and I want a wife and I want children, so I need a house. Can you give me a house? I have no house, said the tree. The forest is my house, but if you cut off my branches and build a house, then you'll be very happy. So the boy cut off her branches and carried them away to build his house. And he looks very happy. And the tree was happy, too. But the boy stayed away again for a very long time.

[07:17]

And when he came back this time, the tree was so happy she could hardly speak. And come, boy, she whispered, come and play. And the boy, who is now an old man, said, you know, I'm too tired and sad to play, said the boy. I want a boat that will take me far away from here. Can you give me a boat? Cut down my trunk and make a boat, said the tree, and then you can sail away and be happy. And so the boy, who is now an old man, cut down her trunk and made a boat and sailed away. And the tree was happy. But not really. It wasn't really so happening. There's not much tree left now. Just a little stump. Have you ever seen a little stump? Just a little stump that's left. And after a long time, the boy came back and said, I'm sorry, boy, said the tree. I have nothing left to give you. My apples are gone.

[08:17]

My teeth are too weak for apples, said the boy. My branches are gone, said the tree. It cannot swing on them. I'm too old to swing on the branches, said the boy. My trunk is gone, said the tree. You cannot climb. I'm too tired to climb, said the boy. I'm sorry, sighed the tree. I wish that I could give you something. I have nothing left to give. I'm just an old stump. I'm sorry. Well, I don't need very much now, said the boy. Just a quiet place to sit and rest. I'm very tired, you see. Well, said the tree, straightening herself up as much as she could. Well, an old stump is good for sitting and resting. Come, boy, sit down. Sit down and rest. And the boy did. And the tree was happy. So, and there's a picture now of the old man sitting on the trunk. He puts his hat on the ground. He puts it on his knee, and he's sitting there.

[09:19]

And they're together. And both happy. So... That's my whole story. I hope you all liked it. I hope you all liked it. And this is going to the children's program, so I'll give it to Melinda, and you can take it. And I think now you can go and have treats, and you can look at the pictures in the story, and maybe you can draw the pictures in the story. You can draw a tree and a boy or a girl. and see if you remember the story. Maybe Melinda will read it to you. Or Doug. This is Doug. Okay. So good morning again.

[10:38]

Good morning. Good morning again. If life could be so simple as to be remedied by a story, it would be wonderful, but maybe not so. Life isn't quite that simple. Even in the story, there are needs that we have and things we have to do and problems that arise along the way. And of course, how we engage with or touch or are touched by these problems are what we call practice, the fruit of practice. So in the past week, knowing that this talk was coming, I thought I'll check in the building and see. I had some ideas what I wanted to talk about, but I thought I would talk with people in the building to see what was on people's minds. And, of course, the background of this is it's a difficult world we've entered into or we have been in for some time.

[11:41]

Have always been in, actually. A world of great challenge. And so I had a number of topics suggested to me, things that people cared about, and some I won't touch on, although they're good topics maybe for another time. But I wanted to talk about the time we're in that we find ourselves in together, the difficulties in the world. And maybe we can share this together, this time, and open it up. And I'll talk about some things that I feel we can offer here at Zen Center. What does Buddhism offer? One of the people is sitting right in front of me at Ron, and I said, what would you like to hear? And he said, you know, what the heck is the Dharma stimulus package these days? What's the Dharma stimulus package? What does Zen Center have to offer?

[12:44]

These are tough times out here. Is there something that we can get at a time like this? So I wanted to do a little... poll work here, a little Gallup poll to start with, if that's okay. And I thought of some questions. And I think just for us to see each other, I have a feeling, you know, knowing my own obsessive mind and my worries that we get very isolated. So I thought we'd do some hand raising. And usually we say, close your eyes, but I think it's okay. We see each other. How many people feel very, very uneasy these days? Very frightened, very uneasy. So And how many people just feel moderately uneasy, just things as they normally are? Okay, I'm changing my talk. And how many people feel isolated, more isolated during this time, or feel alone?

[13:49]

And how many of you ruminate or obsess over things you might have done in the past to better taking care of matters, you know, taking care of the situation you're in or your life now? Worry about things like that. And then how many of you ruminate or obsess over what the future is going to bring and strategies you might be planning, ways to deal with it? And how many people, despite everything that's happening, feel hopeful or hopeful in the big sense of hope about the future, the big future? Okay, my talk is intact. It's good to change, too. Change is good.

[14:56]

So you guessed the nature of my talk. It's about this situation. I've already let the cat out of the bag. And what does Buddhism or this activity of waking up suggest in times like this? And, of course, the interesting thing for people that said, you know, we're in a terrible situation. We need to have some big change happen. It's arrived. And for people, and it's difficult, very difficult. And for people that felt things were pretty okay the way they were, here we are together. And then at what side we started on, we're joined right here in this situation. A time of, and I don't want to get too much into my political or social thought, which isn't, I have nothing really to offer that's better than anybody else, but. What a whirlwind. What a whirlwind time is.

[15:59]

I had a dream last night of icebergs, whole sheaves of ice sliding off and collapsing. I think it had to do with these changes, startling events. For the person, by the way, who said, talk about the rain. It's raining so much. Even outside, you read about this terrible drought. Our feet are wet every day. It's like the heavens, you know, Shakespearean plays, the heavens and earth are out of alignment, it feels like sometimes. And yet, I think we all raise our hands. There's some quality we feel. Something will go on. Life will go on. Something new will arise from this, you know. We're here together, you know, in a very connected way. Paul, Abbott Paul asked at the Shosun, tea we had on Thursday. What makes you feel connected? And my answer was my own imperfection and my own pain makes me feel connected to other people.

[17:07]

When I feel things are pretty wonderful and I'm just a great guy, I get a little distant. I get a little distant. So when I feel my difficulty, my confusion, there are a lot of possibilities too. Lots of possibilities. Vistas open up. Things aren't so sealed, aren't so closed down. So that's what I want to talk about today. And talk about it in the context of, we use the word hindrances to practice, and there are five given, but the two I especially want to concentrate on are, anxiety or unease that doesn't allow us to settle anywhere, that is like a flurry of activity, that's sort of self-fulfilling and then ungrounds us from our life, and doubt or confusion.

[18:15]

So in Buddhism, these are considered hindrances to awakening or path consciousness or finding your way or being here, where you belong, where you've always belonged, being right here. And they knock us off balance. They whisper in our ears at 4 a.m. They ask us foolish questions and they make up stories that aren't useful at all. We talked a little bit about ways to work with that, or that we work with that. And this Zen business is a meditation school. Dhyana is meditation, so our training is meditation, being seated on the earth, coming back to things as they fundamentally are, as a way of cutting through the lines of delusion and confusion, anxiety and doubt.

[19:17]

Coming back to solidity again, something solid, a place to begin. Sometimes that place doesn't look very safe. And then we have to kind of examine, why is this place unsafe? What's the story that I have that makes this place so unsafe? What am I holding on to that's causing this? Deep anxiety. Sometimes even when his ill will or anger springs up, aversion, we want to push it away. So in our school we say there is no other place to be. No story can be told of it's all going to be perfect or the money that I've lost, I think we've all had big changes in our life. That's the way it is.

[20:18]

That's where we start now, together. And that place has big room in it also, big possibilities for growth. We can start nowhere else. So talk about that. And then on the other side of that, what are some attributes or qualities that we teach that can be helpful? And in our school, mindfulness, joy and ease, and equanimity are powerful qualities, ways to work with the situation. So I'll talk a little bit about that. I'll bring that up also in this talk, which I better get busy with. So first a koan prepared by my teacher, Big Dragon. A koan for our times. The first koan I was given by the great Arhat and teacher, Woody Allen.

[21:26]

Woody Allen remarked, oh, the name of this is Mankind Faces a Crossroads. Woody Allen remarked, more than at any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroad. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly. Om Lai. So this is a kind koan. Often our koan is actually this way is a problem and this way I'll have an opportunity and we go far astray. But this koan presents... Double jeopardy. And then what do we do? What do you do when you're in a double bind? Where do you go? What do you build on? How do you work with your life from that dilemma?

[22:38]

In our tradition, we start here. We start with an intimate relationship, a friendly relationship. with the situation. How that question is framed in the koan is the problem. Either course has endless possibilities. But the way it's framed takes our feet right out from under us, makes us spin in concern and dismay. What we need to do is be alive. The other day I was sitting in my office and I had a problem that has been kind of concerning me about something I have to do, a commitment I've made and how to honor it and dilemmas. And it was getting bigger and bigger in my mind and what do they want and what do I want. And then I looked up and there was a morning dove sitting on the rail, the fire escape outside my window in the rain, looking at me.

[23:39]

How immediate that was just to come back. I don't know what they want I don't even know sometimes what I want I'm trying to find out moment by moment and the ground that we explore it on is that ground of not knowing and then making a step and then doing it again so in Zen we come back to the not knowing to the big open possibility that informs all of the particular actions and yet we undertake something We do something with our life. We don't live in isolation. Our abbot, Paul Haller, I have 10 things at the end, suggestions for times like this, and our abbot Paul Haller is going to be offering a workshop on dharma and money. So we sit in a container of practice and openness, and yet money is a reality.

[24:44]

The world has demands. How do we meet those demands and not be swept away? And actually, even when we're fighting and intrigued, how could this happen? Now what? I went to the garage. It was a little aside. I went to the garage to have my car work down. And the garage guy, I said, Jesus, business tough. And he said, well. A lot of people are coming in with their cars for repairs now. He said, you know, it used to be like that in the old days. We didn't just throw stuff out. We kind of looked it over once or twice. So he's finding a new way. It's kind of nice, he said. Talk with people about repairing something again. Not just throwing it on the heap. So we come back to those particular things. We examine our life from ground zero of where we're at. We can't fix a job that's been lost for now.

[25:47]

We don't know what that means. Maybe a new job will open up or a new course in our life we hadn't experienced before if we stay right here and if we open to the possibilities too. If we aren't unnerved by anxiety and fear. One of my favorite iconic images is the Buddha. is the earth mudra Buddha that I always come back to when Buddha is being received. When Buddha allows enlightenment or luminosity to be expressed in all ten directions through his very body, he says, and Mara questions him, oh, you pipsqueak, oh, you little one, how can you have the audacity to say you understand anything? Look at all this universe, look at all these... And he touches the earth and says, the earth is my witness. So he remains, he abides in his own life right there, not moved, immovable, in fact.

[26:54]

And so the starting point with anxiety, with that kind of fear, is a hindrance is your right to abide here. Your right to be on the earth. on the place you're at, immovable. It has nothing to do with perfection or imperfection. It's your starting point and your ending point right here, right now, not to be moved from that place, to allow yourself the integrity of the position you're in, whether you're a Democrat or a Republican. All that doesn't, you stay right here as completely as you can, and that's your birthright. that's the birth rate that this fella talked about immovable now you stay here and you can see things from that place clearly if you don't waver if you have a fearless attitude and fearless isn't a mindless courage it's open-heartedness you know it's a gentle stay with it don't back away

[28:09]

Even if you don't know, stay with it. Even if it's uncertain, don't be moved. Stay here, come back. Even if you're crying and frightened, come back here and stay here. So our tree stump is down in the Zen dump. We meditate as a way of coming back to that place where they're up. endless possibilities again. Suzuki Roshi calls it big mind. Some people call it essence of mind. It's been called many things. Christians call it God, divinity, blessedness now. So it's another frame. But we come back to that experience of don't know and see what happens. So this is one thing to do in a time like this. And I talk with our director, for instance, if you happen to be in the neighborhood during the week, come on over.

[29:14]

This room is always open. You can sit in the courtyard and have a cup of tea. We're here together. We're community together, sangha together. We can't fix 401ks, create jobs, but come and have tea. Come and sit with us. Come and make suggestions or let people know what you need. We have a lot of, I think, really wonderful teachers here. Good human beings. So come and relate. All of that helps. It's like guy wires or grounding. It helps connect you again. I've been a student of anxiety for 60 years. Of fear and anxiety and distress. And once it gets you going, you can't get your feet under you. It is very self-referential.

[30:17]

I used to call it the hour of the wolf, 4 to 6 a.m. when I would wake up and decide all the things I'd made mistakes on, the horror of what was going to happen. And then I would fall asleep eventually and wake up, and it would all be gone again, like a dewdrop bubble. But it was there. When I turned into it and saw it for what it was, it got smaller. It gets smaller. I told Michael once, years ago, you know, I have a very strange family history. I said, I feel like an orphan. He said, we'll make an orphanage. So now what are you going to do? Hard times are here. Make an orphanage. We know a lot about orphans. We know a lot about fear. So it's important to... Physical practice is critical with fearfulness and distress.

[31:26]

In the midst of being nervous about a lecture, do you feel the paper under your fingers? Do you see the faces around you? Do you feel your heart in your chest? Do you feel the wonder and possibility of a hummingbird? I saw a hummingbird today flying around and around a lamppost. Why is he doing it? Come back to the world just as it is. And then take a look at your problems again. So that physical grounding was critical for me in finding my way. I used to work in this very adversarial business downtown and people were always yelling at me. So I took on that practice for 10 years. I would sit at the conference table and I would feel the cold wood under my hands and come back to my own posture. And it offered opportunities.

[32:31]

Spaces would begin to open up. Not the big imaginary spaces. They're going to see how wonderful I am. I'm going to triumph. Those are stories. These spaces are smaller, but they're right there before you. They're very intimate spaces that you can come back to. Joy and ease. So our factors of enlightenment along with mindfulness. And this mindfulness, this physical connection, it seems heavy. Our mind spins, our desires are strong, and our fears are great. But to touch lightly, to just raise the threshold of consciousness slightly is very powerful. We don't become automatons marching through just to come back and see that hummingbird, hear a friend's laugh.

[33:33]

We even feel fear. Just fear. Oh, I've lost money. That's really sad. I work for that money. It's very painful. See and meet that fear directly. Oh, it's mindfulness. So we touch and we go. We come back and touch and we let go and we do it again. It's a very gentle dance. It doesn't require an armored suit. Light is important, a light energy, curiosity. Curiosity and ease then naturally, Buddha says, come up. Not in terms of that koan, the big questions and the big solutions, but the little spaces, the connections. They begin to be like stepping stones, ways to go, with lots of room between them. Equanimity and joy naturally arise in such a mind-body formation when things begin to align in that way.

[34:47]

At a molecular level, almost change. I don't know. There's a lot of space for difficulty, for selfishness, for giving, for joy, for hummingbirds. There's plenty of space. And each thing has its own time, its own being. So I think I'm going to stop pretty soon. I'll give you my 10 things really quickly that I think are important to think of. And then later I'm going to go back and have tea. And if anybody wanted to ask a question about trees and stumps, share your story or your concern, you're welcome to come back and have a cup of tea. Have a cup of tea with me. And if you think of things, the Zen Center can be useful for it. that we can help with, please let us know. You could let me know. Oh, my name is Mark Lancaster. You could let me know, or you could let anybody know here.

[35:48]

I could use help with this. I'm going to do a workshop. Jordan said, we need somebody to do a workshop Saturday. I'm signing you up in May. Okay, thanks. Jordan's an energetic. And it's going to be on the life of the Buddha, but it could be And this time and era and difficulties that people wanted to talk about other things. We could make changes too. So we're together. We're okay and we're together. And it is difficult and it's just what it is this time. So here are my things. So I had put down, come here to meditate. But meditate at home too. Go for a walk in the park. Feel the breeze on your face. Tell me you're interested in the Buddha Hall during the day. Have a cup of tea in the courtyard if you're in the neighborhood. Join a program. Do something.

[36:50]

Help out. Don't isolate and obsess over things. It's not going to help. Be physically present in everything you do. Be aware, gently aware. This is mindfulness. If you're afraid, say, I'm afraid today. Don't make a big deal out of it. Don't make a big story out of it. Don't add on. Don't add trains to the fear, other stories. Be kind to yourself. They're doing the best you can right now. Be kind to one other person each day. They're doing the best they can too. We all are. We all want the same things. We all have the same tender heart. Stay right here and don't drift into the past making up stories, usually crazy stories because you add the present and mix the past and the future and it's nuttiness.

[37:56]

Just crazy. And don't do that with the future either. It's a complete waste of time. If there's something you think you should do, do it. If you don't know what to do, don't run around. If you need help, ask. Say to somebody, I'm kind of scared today. I need to talk. Just like to hang out. If you have good ideas that will help other people, share them. Come here and tell us what you can think, what you need, and what you think will help. Let's explore it together. will make a more vital sangha, a more vital Zen center. It's our Zen center, our place together. And I think that's it for today. The bag is empty. It's time for tea and cookies.

[38:59]

So take good care of yourself and we can reach out, help others. If it's too much right now, take good care of yourself. Don't be pushed off this spot. This is the place you have. It's your home. Don't be pushed away. You're okay.

[39:27]

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