This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good evening, everyone. Welcome. Good to see you all. Thank you for being here this evening. And another spring here. in Hayes Valley at Beginner's Mind Temple. I was just appreciating this morning, there was a little robin that came out of the nest that's in the courtyard, and the robin came into the Buddha Hall and was underneath the bench back there. And it's an old story that sometimes when animals come into temples, that there are old former monks who have some karma to work off, right? So they've come back as a dog or a cat or a robin. So I was just imagining that robin was a former monk coming in to take up the practice once again in some way.

[01:04]

So if you see our little friends, please bow to them. All beings, bow to all beings. How many people here for the first time? Great, well welcome. Welcome all of you. Even though you've been here for a few days, first time for a Dharma talk, so it's great to have you here. So for those of you who aren't so aware, we're in the middle of what's called a practice period. So we've been studying for the last month now a kind of focused study on four facets of love from the Buddhist perspective, which are called the Brahma Viharas, which translates as the divine abodes. They're called the four immeasurables because they're unlimited qualities. And so these... Heavenly abodes, is another way to kind of phrase them, are places where our awakened heart-mind abides. The place where our awakened heart-mind abides.

[02:08]

And so these are loving practices. They're loving practices that were taught by the Buddha as a way to dissolve the delusion or illusion of being separate selves. being disconnected from others. So when we abide in these connecting, loving states, there's no sense of separation that we're experiencing, or that separation begins to diminish in some way. And so these four limitless qualities are, and some of you probably know these by heart, so there's metta, which is loving kindness is often the most... Typical translation, or just kindness. And then there's karuna, which is compassion. And then there's mudita, which is sympathetic joy, appreciative joy. It's a sense of joy for others' happiness. And the last one is equanimity, upekka.

[03:14]

And so we can look for guidance from all these teachings on how to cultivate a boundless, inclusive heart, the sense of helping us to overcome an us-versus-them mind state, an othering mind state in some way. And this is a really important part of our spiritual development and maturity. The more developed we come in our own heart-mind, our own awakened heart-mind, we don't have a sense of self and other. We see all beings as a part of our own nature, our own being, and we act in a way that takes care of all beings from that same place of non-separation. And so we've been exploring over the last three weeks the first three of the Brahmaviharas. And again, that's kindness, compassion, and appreciative joy. And tonight I want to begin our study on equanimity, which is usually, again, considered the fourth or the culminating

[04:18]

boundless state, sometimes it's actually also considered the first, that you have to have equanimity before you can begin to entertain or go into these other states. So you can kind of come from it both ways. It's actually said that all the brahmaviharas are necessary. They all come together and they all complement each other. So you can't leave any one of them out. And equanimity is taught as the final principle meditation among the Brahma Piharas because what it does is it provides balance and stability for the foundation for kindness, for compassion, and for appreciative joy to be fully expressed. The full expression can't happen without equanimity. And so equanimity balances those heartfelt wishes with the recognition that all things are the way they are.

[05:20]

So this is dose of things are as they are. And so we have to first start from this ground of deep acceptance, deep recognition of things as they are. And that then balances from that solid ground the way that we come from a place of kindness, come from a place of compassion and equanimity. And so these Brahmaviharas are describing a relational way of life, right? How is it that we can relate to all of life with a deeper, intrinsic understanding that all things are of the nature to change? Everything's impermanent, right? Everything is conditioned or unpredictable. dependent on something else, right? So there's no inherent separate self. And the non-self, you know, again, no inherent separate self, that is the heart of everything. And I'm going to return to these. These are pointers to what's called the three marks, and I'll return to those later in the talk.

[06:27]

So having this sense of quality of equanimity keeps us stable as we open our hearts. And this is what this practice is fundamentally about. Open hearts, open minds. So as we open, how do we stay stable in that process? Otherwise, we get unstable and ungrounded, and we start wobbling, right? And so the English word, equanimity, it translates actually from two separate Pali words that were used by the Buddha. So if we're taking the Buddha's teachings, there are two particular words that he used that we kind of translate as equanimity. And there are different aspects of equanimity. So the first word that's commonly used is upeka. That's Pali, and in Sanskrit it's upeksha. And upeksha means equanimity, non-attachment, non-discrimination, even-mindedness, impartiality, ekripose, or letting go.

[07:37]

But the... Etymology of this particular word gives us a more nuanced picture. So upa, the first part of it, means over. And iksa, or iks, the second part, means to look. So basically, this idea is you are climbing up the mountain to be able to get a vista, to be able to look over and get a better view. So you'll get a wholer view of the whole picture. not bound by any particular side, so that nothing obstructs your clear seeing, your clear view. And with this we get a kind of a view that's unlimited, not obstructed in any ways. We get to see the whole picture in a way in which we're not caught by anything that we see in any way. And in a larger context, this getting a wider view is actually pointing to seeing all of reality accurately, clearly.

[08:52]

Seeing things as it is, in an unbiased, unobstructed way. And particularly not obstructed by the peaks and valleys and clouds of our egos. Those are the biggest obstructions for getting a clear view of reality as it is. Anyone have that problem? Am I the only one? Thank you. So the second word that is used or translated from the origins for equanimity is a more obscure word. And it's... I did it! Yes! And that complicated word is Pali, and it's actually made of a few compounds. And tatra, the first word, meaning there. It also sometimes refers to all these things.

[09:56]

All these things there. And maja means middle. As in, you know, the majama nikaya. See, there I go, my verbal dyslexia is kicking in again, so please forgive me. Help, folks. Majjima na kaya, there you go. So it means the middle-length discourses. And there's a collection of teachings of the Buddha. And then there's tata, which means to stand or to pose. That's kind of the little translation. And tata, we sometimes say, tata the kagarbha, which is the Buddha, another reference for the Buddha, and meaning thus come. So to stand, to pose, to be thus, just like this, right here, is what that particular word is pointing to. So altogether, when you put all these together, it means basically to stand in the middle of all this, to be right here in the middle of all this.

[10:59]

So this form of equanimity, being in the middle, refers then to a sense of balance. to remaining centered in the middle of whatever is happening, regardless of what's happening. So being fully present, fully alive, right in the middle of your life, centered right here, thus, right? Not leaning in any way. And this balance comes from inner strength. It comes from integrity. and stability. And it has a strong kind of presence of inner calm, if you ever kind of sense in yourself, this quality of inner calm, well-being, sense of confidence, you know, with faith, that word confidence, with faith, right here, just this, vitality and integrity. And all these qualities keep us upright.

[12:03]

We talk a lot about in Buddhism being upright, right? having a sense of integrity, alertness, not leaning in any way, but being upright. And like a ship with a ballast, keeping grounded, and despite the winds and the waves, the ship doesn't hopefully fall over in some way. So it's not subject to being pushed around from various sides by whatever circumstances are in some way. So how do we find our balance, our uprightness in the middle of events? And as inner strength develops, equanimity follows. And then we find ourselves able to stand in the middle of our life with boundless poise and balance. My tongue's not working tonight for some reason. I'm not sure what's going on. OK, so equanimity

[13:04]

Another way I want to phrase this is it combines both breath and depth. It combines a horizontal breath, a looking over, with an equal regard. It's kind of like the sun that's shining unconstructive over a vast landscape with equal regard. Everything's included in some way. And then also with the depth of dwelling right here in the center of here and now. So this is kind of extending downward and upward. This is the vertical plane. So we've got this horizontal plane and the vertical plane simultaneously happening. And if you think of, how many people do yoga here? Is anyone yoga folks? Okay, so think of a yoga pose when you're standing in a yoga pose, particularly something like warrior, one of the warrior poses, right? There's a sense of you need to be grounded first In your being, your legs are connected to the earth. You're drawing upright, a sense of upright.

[14:06]

And then when you take the pose, you're also extending out at the same time. So the vertical and the horizontal simultaneously in play. And the energy helps you to stay balanced. And if you lose focus in some way, you start to kind of lose your balance and you have to kind of regroup and regather, return to your center in some way to once again be able to become upright and align with the present moments, right? Which is basically what this is about. Aligning with the present moment, aligning with here and now, aligning with reality just as it is. That's the only way you can meet your life. If you're not in alignment with reality, in accord with reality as it is, you're never going to be quite able to engage it completely. You'll be always quite a little bit off in some way. And so equanimity in this way is inherently generous.

[15:07]

It's trustworthy and it's supportive of all reality. Not taking any sides, no preferences, not leaving anything out. All reality is included in this embrace, in this pose, in this stance. So we could describe Pekka as in evenness of the heart toward all beings. your heart is doing this yoga pose. Evenness of heart, extending downward and upward and outward to include all beings. It's radically inclusive. And we could describe it as an even-minded love. An even-minded love. Maintaining a steadiness of the mind and not allowing any kind of differences, whether physical, intellectual, spiritual, whatever, to influence our perception of those with whom we come in contact with. So difference is included, but it doesn't make us biased or tilt in any way.

[16:13]

In Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind, for anyone who's read the book by our founders, Shinuri Suzuki Roshi, he used the expression mind waves. And he used this to describe the turmoil, the ego struggle with everyday life. So these mind waves, he insists, whether in the form of thoughts or feelings or perceived external challenges or circumstances in some way, are all part of the ocean of life. So if you're trying to find peace of the ocean, peace in your ocean of life, by eliminating the waves, eliminating thoughts or emotions, you're not going to succeed. That's not the nature of the ocean, to be without waves. But if you learn to see the waves as part of the whole and not to be bothered by the ego's endless fluctuations, your sense of yourself as a cut-off, separate, less-than or unworthy being is going to shift.

[17:36]

So again, you keep the entirety of the ocean, the breadth and the depth of the whole ocean in mind in a more inclusive view. And after enough practice, the ego's grasp or preoccupation gives way to something more. Kind of slowly... is eroded by a sense of what we might call the infinite. So I have a poem I want to read you that kind of illustrates this point about the essence of equanimity and the capacity to remain in the midst of right of it all. And it's titled, The Little Duck. Anyone know this poem, The Little Duck? Good, I get to introduce a new poem. This one is by Donald C. Babcock and it first appeared in The New Yorker in 1947. So I'm going to read it to you. It's a slightly abridged version. And in the poem, it mentions the Atlantic. And in case anyone is not familiar with the landscape of this particular continent, the Atlantic is an ocean.

[18:45]

And it's on the eastern side of the continent. So here it is, the little duck. Now we are ready to look at something pretty special. It is a duck riding the ocean at 100 feet beyond the surf, and he cuddles in the swells. There is a big heaving in the Atlantic, and he is part of it. He looks a bit like a mandarin or the Lord Buddha meditating under the bow tree. He can rest while the Atlantic heaves because he rests in the Atlantic. Probably he doesn't know how large the ocean is, and neither do you. But he realizes it. And what does he do, I ask you? He sits down in it. He reposes in the immediate as if it were infinity, which it is.

[19:50]

I love that line. He reposes in the immediate as if it were infinity, which it is. That is religion, and the duck has it. He has made himself part of the boundless by easing himself into it just where it touches him. I like the little duck. He doesn't know much, but he has religion. I appreciate this combination in this poem of subtle humor and the profound. It's able to kind of enter in in a more deeper way because of the humor. And so practicing equanimity is like being a duck resting in the waves of the ocean. So now the duck isn't trying to transcend the ocean or turn away from the world or the waves out of some subtle or not so subtle aversion to where it is, what's going on around it.

[20:58]

That would be a disinterest or indifference, which I'll talk about a little bit later, is one of the near enemies, we say, of equanimity, a pseudo version of equanimity. So the capacity of the duck is that he can rest while the Atlantic or the ocean heaves. He can rest in that heaving because he rests in the Atlantic. He rests in the ocean as a whole. He rests in the wholeness of it. And though the duck probably doesn't know how large the ocean is, he realizes it. And that is, it's not a realizing here. It's a realizing of knowing it and having a deep, intimate relationship to it. By sitting down in it, by finding his Dharma seat right here in this very place, by being in it and not being separate from it.

[22:01]

Here and now. And it goes on. He reposes in the immediate as if it were infinity, which it is. So, infinity is now endlessly. There's no end to now. It goes on. There's no bounds to now. And so this humble yet noble duck has made himself part of the boundless, part of forever, the immeasurable heart-mind of Buddha. We could say Buddha nature. There's no end to our Buddha nature. There's no limit to it. We're always there. And by simply pausing his furtive activity, you know, the flapping of the feet underneath the water or trying to get somewhere, right? and coming to the rest in the ocean of his life, right here. So the Brahmavihara is also known as the boundless abodes, the boundless heart qualities.

[23:07]

And when they're fully realized, we experience ease in our own sense of the sense of our separate self begins to ease and settle. And we begin to have... release the sense into a boundless affinity by slowly allowing the edges of our being to dissolve. The ways that we connect to the infinite, our sense of a separate self, our boundaries of a separate self, begin to dissolve. They begin to soften and relax. And the sense of who we are begins to extend outward into the unknown. And we experience in those moments our own boundlessness. So now to compare a sitting duck, however poised it is, to the Buddha in this poem. You might see a little bit of an irreverent stretch here.

[24:09]

But the author's characterization of the duck's action, or you could say the duck's non-action, as reposing in the immediate, Acheri describes What we would say here is a form of meditation, Zen meditation, which is known as Shikantaza, or just sitting. So this practice is central to the Soto Zen tradition, which is the tradition that we have here. And you could say it's the purest form of meditation, according to the Zen tradition. So just sitting in the immediate wave of now, as if it was the infinite, And knowing it in its entirety, its depth and breath. So when you sit zazen, to sit completely here and allow your sense of self to dissolve and to extend. So you're including the breath of your experience as well as the depth.

[25:13]

And the depth includes the internal orientation of being at the same time. So that internal depth as well as the external breath. How do we sit in such a way that our experience in that moment is that deeply inclusive, that deeply wide in some way? And that's what we're trying to do when we sit in Zazen, to be so present that everything is radically included in our experience. Nothing is turned away. Our life, however, is a combination of action and non-action. So after... our non-action of sitting zazen, we're going to get up and go out into our lives, our daily lives in which we are navigating the multitudinous waves that we encounter in our daily life, right? And so it's said that the proximate cause of upekka, equanimity, is said to be the understanding the nature of karma.

[26:17]

Understanding the nature of karma. So this means the recognition that our actions, once we get up off the cushion and go out and start doing things in the world, bear results. And these results affect us and they affect others. In that we create our own future world and our own experiences. So another way of saying this is that all beings are the owners of their karma. So all our Their happiness and unhappiness depend on their actions, not on our wishes for them. So we're not able to take on the results of another person's actions or deeds. And where their suffering of others is concerned, we recognize that by making ourselves suffer, we don't necessarily decrease or take away the suffering of others. So this is where equanimity comes in point. becomes important in terms of how we practice compassion for others.

[27:19]

So we can work to alleviate another suffering or to support and celebrate their delight and their good fortune, but there's a point in which we have to exercise equanimity, being mindful of our own well-being so that we don't become destabilized as we engage with others through these boundless hard qualities. So equanimity is not taking on more than is actually necessary or beneficial. And I want to give an example. My brother was in the military for almost 25 years, and when I was at Tassajara for eight years, he had been deployed to Iraq. And I remember during one of the Chusot ceremonies there, the kind of Dharma inquiry ceremonies of the head monk, I asked the head monk, because I was concerned about his karma, the fact that he was probably involved in killing people. And I didn't want him to take on that negative karma, and so I was kind of asking, is there any way that I can absolve him of that karma?

[28:27]

And, of course, the answer is no. You can't. It's his karma, it's his actions that he has to take responsibility for. And so he came back with PTSD. I think my understanding, he won't speak to it about so much, but I think he was one of the people who retrieved the bodies of people who died. And so his own traumatic experiencing with that, he has to work with. And I can support and be present for him. But any... difficulty that has come out of his choice to be in the military and do what he did is for him to find a way to resolve. I can't take that away from him. I can just be a compassionate presence to support him whenever he cares to share about that experience. So those of us who have been studying the Brahma Viharas know that there is a far enemy and a near enemy of each of the Brahma Viharas.

[29:31]

So the far enemy of upeka, its exact opposite, is either the polar extreme of attachment or greed or aversion or hatred is another way of saying that. So in terms of cultivating a loving relationship with others, it's kind of a dualistic attraction and revulsion in which the heart reaches out to some people and rejects others. So again, this is having a partial seeing, a partial feeling It's a biased feeling or relationship in terms of how we regard others. And this biased partial perspective is one that gives rise to various forms of limited facets of how we see others. Limited facets, you could say discrimination. The ways that we regard people in terms of only what part of their wholeness. We only see their gender wholeness. or their race, or their social orientation, or their age, or their ethnicity.

[30:32]

We don't see or take in regard the whole being in a more inclusive way, and so we end up relating to them from a partial way instead of a greatly inclusive way. The near enemy of Apeka, and this is something that superficially resembles equanimity, but in fact is more subtly in opposition to it, is indifference, or you could say a detached neutrality. So true equanimity is neither indifference or detachment. It's the ability to fully connect without clinging or possess in some way. So equanimity is not a neutrality in which we kind of watch the news. and seeing what's happening in the world, we kind of have this sense of, I don't care. That's bad, that's terrible, but what's it got to do with me?

[31:34]

What could I possibly do about it? Why should I bother? That's not equanimity. That's a kind of dumb neutrality, a dumb indifference. And it's only made possible through numbness. We have to numb ourselves down to what it is that we're taking in in order to experience some kind of indifference. And we do that sometimes. We numb ourselves because we feel overwhelmed. We feel it's too much for us to take in or to relate to in some way. And we might feel helpless or fearful in the magnitude of the suffering that we're witnessing in some way. And so... True equanimity does not hinder compassion or action, right? It rather enhances us to develop the discernment to know when and how and what to be able to do, what it is that we can engage in, right? So it basically means equanimity not being ruled by our compassions and our desires and our likes and dislikes in some way.

[32:42]

The Theravada monk Bhikkhu Bodhi describes upekka in the following way. He says, It is an evenness of mind, an unshakable freedom of mind, a state of inner equipos that cannot be upset by gain and loss, honor and dishonor, praise and blame, pleasure and pain. Upekka is freedom from all points of self-reference. It is indifference only to the demands of the ego-self. with its craving for pleasure and position, not to the well-being of one's fellow human beings. So in other words, Bhikkhu Bodhi is saying that equanimity is an anchor. It protects us against what Buddhism calls the eight worldly winds in which our egos often get caught. And those are pleasure and pain. They're kind of dualities. Pleasure and pain, praise and blame, gain and loss, and fame and disrepute.

[33:56]

So being attached to or excessively elated by success or praise or fame or pleasure can set up for us suffering whenever the winds of life change in another direction. So we understand that in order to feel a sense of inner well-being, we need to be independent of these eight worldly winds. There's a well-known story about Zen Master Hakuin that speaks to this point. He lived in the 17th and 18th century, and he's said to have created the now famous question or koan, what is the sound of one hand clapping? Anyone know that one? A few of you. So it says to originate with him. So Hakuin believed that the understanding arising out of practice of everyday life was deeper than the understanding that could come from practicing in a monastery.

[35:07]

So in other words, since lay people faced more distractions in their life, they held more responsibilities than the monastics and experienced more heartbreaks than the monastics, they needed to practice with more diligence. So if you want to really practice, you shouldn't be in a monastery. Kind of what he was saying. Real practice is out in the world. You actually come here for a short period of time, you gain your practice feet, and then you go out into the world and do real practice. Don't tell the people that live here, okay? So Hakuin was greatly respected, and he had many disciples. And at one time in his life, He lived in a village, Hermitage, and close by there was a shop that was run by a couple, and they had a beautiful young daughter. And one day the parents discovered that their daughter was pregnant. And angry and distraught, they demanded of her to know the name of their father. And at first the girl would not confess, but after they harassed her a lot, she finally named Hakuin.

[36:16]

And the parents were furious, so they confronted Hakuin and berated him in front of all of his students. And then he simply replied when they accused him, is that so? So when the baby was born, the family gave it to Hakuin. And by this time, of course, nine months later, he had lost his reputation and his disciples. But Hakuin was not disturbed by this. He took delight in caring for the infant child, and he was able to attain milk and other essentials from the villagers around him so he could take care of the baby. And he really enjoyed being with his child. However, a year later, the young woman of the child was troubled with great remorse. And so she finally confessed the truth to her parents. and said that the real father was not Hakuen, but rather a young man who had worked at the local fish markets.

[37:21]

Of course, the parents were mortified, so they went to Hakuen, deeply apologizing, and asking for his forgiveness for the wrong that they had done him. They also asked Hakuen to return the baby. And although he loved the child as his own, Hakuen was willing to give up the child without complaints. All he said was, is that so? Okay? Now, if you were Hakuin and this situation happened to you, how do you think you would respond? Would you be going, oh, is that so? Being blamed for something that wasn't your fault, you know, unjustly accused, right? And then being asked to take care of another being as a consequence? And... being willing to actually take on that burden as an act of love. Not as a punishment, not as I've done something wrong or I don't deserve this, this is unfair, but actually as an act of love.

[38:27]

And then a year later, to be actually told to let go of that commitment. To give up the child that he so loved and cared for. And to be able to give the space to not only for the child to be returned to its mother and family, but actually to give the space to everyone around him to, in their own time, discover their own insight, their own truth of the real reality, of the situation as it was in reality, and not their ideas or their biased perceptions of it, right? So to meet the eight worldly winds in this case, the ever-changing conditions with the simple words, is that so? Is that so is the mine of equanimity. So this is. And then we do our best to take care of what is without identifying with the conditions or the outcomes, whether or not they're favorable or unfavorable.

[39:35]

And we have, and having as the deeper foundational intention, to equally regard all beings with this deep sense, this deep capacity with love, even if they're foolish, even if they falsely accuse us or mean to do us harm. How do we still hold them in the ocean of love? So we cannot be truly compassionate without the balancing quality of equanimity In the Mahajana tradition of Zen, we emphasize compassion, the combination of wisdom and compassion. These have to arise together, right? And it's this combination of compassion, which is love, with insight, wisdom, that makes for upekka, right? The quality of balance and even-mindedness. And this is what makes it a Brahma-vihara.

[40:41]

So... Equanimity, you could say, is love plus awareness. Equanimity is love plus awareness. Specifically, awareness or insight into what is known in Buddhism as the three marks of existence. And those are impermanence, dukkha, or you could say suffering or dissatisfaction, and non-self. So these are basically Buddhism's way of describing the nature of reality, these three marks. So with equanimity, what we get is love plus awareness of impermanence. Along with love and awareness of suffering or the intrinsically unsatisfactory nature of our experience of dukkha. Love plus dukkha. And finally, love plus an awareness of non-self. No inherently existing self. What this means is we can love beings, including ourselves, while understanding that they and every experience they have is impermanent.

[41:51]

And we can love beings, including ourselves, while understanding that letting go ever more deeply into love and compassion is the way to peace, to not clinging to craving or aversion. And finally, We can love beings, including ourselves, while understanding that our love is not our love. It's not a selfish, limited love. And that there is really no separation between ourselves and the world. So in this way, like ducks on the ocean, we can rest in the larger, boundless, unfathomable infinite, that is our true nature. I'll briefly read the poem once more. Now we are ready to look at something pretty special. It is a duck riding the ocean a hundred feet beyond the surf, and he cuddles in the swells.

[42:59]

There's a big heaving in the Atlantic, and he is part of it. He looks a bit like a mandarin, or the Lord Buddha meditating under the bow tree. He can rest while the Atlantic heaves because he rests in the Atlantic. Probably he doesn't know how large the ocean is, and neither do you, but he realizes it. And what does he do, I ask you? He sits down in it. He reposes in the immediate as if it were infinity, which it is. That is religion, and the duck has it. He has made himself part of the boundless by easing himself into it just where it touches him. I like the little duck. He doesn't know much, but he has religion. So enjoy riding the ocean like a duck.

[44:06]

Thank you for your kind attention. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, please visit sfzc.org and click giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[44:36]

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