I gave a talk several weeks ago here in the Buddha Hall. And I thought, well, it would be good to continue from where I left off. But I couldn't find my notes from where I left off. And then I thought, OK, well, I'll listen to it on the website. It wasn't on the website either. So unfortunately, you're going to have to rely on where I remembered I left off. What I've been thinking about was a term usually translated as trust, sarda in Pali and sraddha in Sanskrit, which is part of a five-fold understanding notion trust persistence mindfulness attention and insight and it's a teaching in Buddhism that says those five qualities are the foundational qualities to being awake to being aware and I had

[01:32]

talked a little bit about Shraddha. And then after I gave that talk, I left here and I went traveling and gave other talks and find that the same notion wove its influence into the teachings that I gave, which may in some ways be a reflection of my obsessiveness or but it also has a function. Sometimes it's helpful to keep attending to our experience in a certain way and keep discovering what it has to teach us. And as I did that with this term, Shraddha, trust, really it's trust, confidence, And a certain kind of reassurance that arises when we're letting things be what they are, when we trust things to be what they are, when we trust ourselves, when we trust the situation, when we trust the relatedness, when we trust something beyond all that.

[02:54]

As we do that, some of our anxiety, our unsettledness, our distress, dissipates. And in some ways we could think that enlightenment, being awake, satori, is just part of a continuum. And sometimes we can be on the other end of the continuum, in a place of significant distress and upset and discontent and mistrust. And our emotional life plays a very significant role in this. Modern studies in the field of neurology are really showing that our limbic system and the process of our limbic system is a very strong influence in

[04:05]

how we experience the world and how we instinctively respond to it, both emotionally and behaviorally. The limbic system is very basic. It's where our primitive responses come from. Shall I hit this or run away from it? I was reading one neurologist that said, and it serves us in a wonderful way because sometimes it's necessary in our lives to not give something a whole lot of thought, but to just react, to just respond. And of course, sometimes we do ourselves and others a great disservice by not giving things some thought, you know, that very same reactiveness.

[05:13]

can just be an inappropriate response that we've learned in the past and now we're applying inappropriately to the present. And then to just finish that thought. Also in modern neurology, now it's, also coming into being that even though we're hardwired and we laid on these patterns very young maybe as young as six months but somewhere around a year we start but even though we do that it's possible to change them and that's the amazing thing that we can change the hard wiring in our brain by becoming more conscious and more aware and more intentional about how we respond and not only that how we not respond in terms of behavior but how we respond in terms to our own experience and to my mind trust plays a very significant role in this you know if you think of even the classic story of shaktamuni buddha you know

[06:42]

He left home, this complete act of commitment to practice. Nothing else matters except practice. And then he became a totally adept yogi, in terms of Hatha Yoga and in terms of Raja Yoga, in terms of both working with the body and working with the mind. And then he went beyond that into this uncharted territory of trying to just drop off any kind of strategy that was prescribed and discover originally how to practice. And then he got himself into a tremendous mess. then he saw through it, and then, you know, as the story goes, then something settled.

[07:52]

Some kind of reassurance, some kind of confidence, some kind of permission, not to struggle with what was happening, but to see it for what it is. Yeah. To my mind, it's fascinating that that's the art typical story in Buddhism of practice. You know, if you think about it, I think it's very hard to definitively say that is or isn't what happened. But you can say to a significant extent, that's the story that's maintained and presented. A very interesting notion to my mind. So how is trust cultivated? How do we get to that place? When I was contemplating on that, I was thinking of the process of AA, which says, I've never been part of AA, but to my understanding of it, you have to hit bottom.

[09:05]

Or more particularly, you have to hit that place in your life Where life is just not the resolution of your life, coming to terms with your life, is just not making more effort to make it turn out the way you want it to turn out. You know, to continue the coping strategies, the struggles, whatever it is, to have life turn out the way you want it to turn out. You have to shift. And the way I'd like to talk about it this morning is you have to learn to trust it the way it is. And I'd like to talk about it in terms of a poem. Actually, I don't personally completely agree with what this poet says, but...

[10:15]

I don't know if any of us completely agree with anything anyone else says to us. Well, maybe I'm just talking about myself. I find there's a wonderful process where something comes forth and it sparks something. And you find yourself in relationship to it. You know? Like when I read this poem, I thought, well, I would say it this way. Or I'm not sure I would phrase it like that or agree with that. It's something in that we learn the propositions of our own being. And as we do that, if you look at it in the terms of our neural makeup, the makeup of our brain, what happens in the cortex, what happens in the realm of thinking influences what happens in the limbic system, which is more primitive.

[11:43]

It mediates it. It processes it. How we comprehend, how we experience the world influences something more primitive in our being. And I think we all experience that primitive way of being, when a strong mood, disposition, emotion has taken hold. And it's almost like your thinking can't get at it. Or maybe you react, and then it's only upon reflection that there is other possibilities arise. That our thinking, our thoughtfulness, can shed some light on that, not just in the process of reflection, but also, and I'll talk about this a little more,

[12:49]

and establishing a disposition that softens our reactiveness, or more particularly, it softens the impulse or the need to come forth with that sharp reaction. Think of trust in three ways. To trust yourself, to trust relatedness, Trust the situation, the circumstance. And included in that, the interpersonal relatedness. You know, to trust your relationships. I was noticing about a week ago, someone did something that upset me.

[13:50]

And I noticed that to have a completely honest and open discussion with them, I needed to trust them. Some part of me just wanted to establish that by wonderful circumstance, I was right and they were wrong. And as I explored it, I saw for me it was an issue If I'm right and they're wrong, I don't have to trust them because they're wrong. But if I want to have a completely open conversation with them about this, I have to trust that there's something in their point of view, there's something in their experience that's worthy of me listening to and being open to. And if there's something I don't trust, then why the heck would I be open to it?

[15:05]

It's going to harm me. It felt like it was linked to that more primitive response. So trusting ourself, trusting relatedness, The situation, the circumstance, the interpersonal part. And then the third part, trusting something beyond both of those. Trusting something beyond the world that we participate in creating. Here's the poem I'd like to quote. Embarrassingly, I can't remember whether I quoted this before or not.

[16:12]

If any of you have a better memory than mine, you can tell me if I did. It's called The World by Chisler Malosh. He talks about this in three categories. He talks about it in faith, hope, and love. But I would say, in the way he's using the word faith, it's actually more about trust. But you can say whatever you like. Faith is in you whenever you look at a dewdrop or a falling leaf and know that they are because they have to be. Faith is in you whenever you look at a dew drop or a falling leaf and know that they are because they have to be. The experience that's being experienced in this moment is.

[17:22]

It is because it is. You don't have to like it. You don't have to approve of it. But it is what it is. And there's something about going beyond struggling with it. It's going beyond waiting for it to be different. That's an expression of trust. Something about letting this moment be what it is and being part of it. And in some ways, I would say this is the formidable

[18:29]

truly formidable existential challenge of awareness. To me, that's kind of the point of the archetypical story of Shakyamuni's awakening. To get to that point, we're just willing to say, this is what it is. I'm not putting my energy into trying to change it. I'm not even trying to put my energy into understanding it. Just being it. And in a way, this is the very core of Zazen. Just be what is. And that core has no strategy. Because any strategy at all is a modification of what is. But it's a formidable existential challenge.

[19:36]

And as we take it up, what do we discover? We discover all the ways we move away, we resist, we bring in an agenda, we separate from, and And on one hand, as it does say in some Zen texts, this is the practice of one continuous mistake. But it's also the practice of discovering that the world is constantly teaching us how to connect, how to open, how to trust, how to relate. how to see that our very humanness can spark within us this request.

[20:42]

And in responding to that request, we learn the novelist of our human capacities. We learn courage. We learn patience. We learn compassion. We learn this extraordinary human capacity from big mind. okay, I see and feel the world in this way, even in the context of my primitive limbic system, you know, with its fierce exertion of its own way of being, its own fight and flight, that we can hold that And we can allow for more. Existence is more than what I say it is, what I think it is, what I feel it is.

[21:50]

And this is not in denial of what I say, think and feel and act. It just gives it a context that allows it to become a teaching rather than Some place where we always get stuck and limited. So Chesna Malos continues like this. He says, faith is in you whenever you look at the dewdrop or a falling leaf and know that they are because they have to be. They are because they are. Even if you close your eyes and dream up things, the world will remain as it is. The world is more than what you are asserting it is. The world remains as it is. The leaf carried by the waters of the river.

[22:56]

It's always in a state of flux. It's always being moved forward by this dynamic interplay of the energy of existence. And then he goes on and he says, in his second part, he says, hope. Hope is with you. Hope is with you when you believe the earth is not a dream, but living flesh. Hope is with you when you believe the earth is not a dream, but living flesh. That there's something beyond the world of your creation that's worth relating to. That you don't have to hold back your life until it turns out the way you deeply desire it to be. That the world is alive.

[24:00]

That the world can nurture you, delight you, surprise you, support you. Often when we practice mindfulness, we tend to get caught up in the notion, I'm doing this. There is this kind of inanimate universe that I'm animating, that I'm being aware of. The universe is completely animate. And it's constantly... offering its vitality to nurture us, to delight us. In mindless wit, as the poet says, the world is living flesh. What if we sit and rather than think what comes up,

[25:07]

is separating us from some pure existence and think that what comes up is supporting us to be aware. That the sign of the motorbike or the birds or the light coming in the window or the sensation in the body or the feeling of breathing in are supporting the awareness of this moment. So is that hope? I think the delight of such propositions is that they ask us to become intrigued about what's going on. To me, the great thing about a poem is it isn't a doctrine.

[26:08]

It's a suggestion. It's a muse. It's kind of saying, here's an amusing appreciation of life. Check it out. Hope is with you when you believe the earth is not a dream, but living flesh. That sight, touch, and hearing do not lie. That all things that you have ever seen here are like a garden. That are like a garden looked at from a gate. I remember the Dalai Lama saying once, he said, awareness is a little bit like being a tourist. You know?

[27:11]

You know, when you're a tourist, you just walk along and you think, oh, that's pretty. Oh, look at that. It's like awareness is a little like that. Oh, look at that thought. How exquisitely primitive. In its rage. In its fear. in its complete black and whiteness. Either I'm right or you're right. It's like looking at a garden. You look at a garden to appreciate The offering. To try to trust something.

[28:23]

Trust it enough to start having a conversation. Okay, well, how about I tell you my opinion and you tell me your opinion? about I tell you how I'm experiencing this or that exchange we had, and you tell me how you're experiencing that exchange we had. And we both stay open. And don't know what happened, what's going to happen when those two experiences are shared. Can we do that internally? to not know who we are and who we're gonna be when we intimately and deeply connect to the experience we're having. When we open up to that primitive emotion and experience that fierce aggression.

[29:37]

Or that deeply frightened fear? Can we trust something that allows and enables that? So in a way we could say trusting the self has something to do with kind of radical honesty. It has something to do with discovering being, whatever the heck that means. Certainly, I wouldn't put forward that notion to think that there's some pure state that you have to become. To me, it's more to do with this constant opening and engaging the experience that's happening. And I hope you can see how that as we start to engage in this way, the energy that we dissipate into resisting, into trying to get what we want, when that energy isn't being displaced in that way, the world, the experience of the moment becomes living flesh.

[31:19]

It becomes more alive. It becomes more engaged. It becomes more vibrant and vital. And this is the territory of authentic being. Quite literally, what's happening is more interesting and more alive than what we want to have happen or what we don't want to have happen. And I think many of us, if we reflect on it for a few moments, realize that a lot of the time, that's what's more alive. What we don't want to have happen, or what we would rather have happen than this. And so there's capacity for big mind. Like looking at it all as a garden. As if you're looking at it from the gate.

[32:23]

It's like, hmm, look at that. Look at what's going on in this interaction. Look at what's going on in this play of thoughts and feelings and as I hear and see and do what I do. So is that hope? Tesla in my life says yes, that's hope. Could we but look more clearly and wisely? We might discover somewhere in the garden there is a strange new flower, an unnamed star. this is this strange insistence that we hold on to the familiar even though in a human way it all makes sense we're doing so in the service of our own survival but we can trust

[34:04]

Letting the moment undo us, redo us. Something new was created. Suzuki Roshi would say, you know, this is beginner's mind. But beginner's mind begins the world. It begins our life from here, from now. Like a strange new flower or unnamed start. And then a third attribute that he brings forth is love. Here's how he talks about love. Love means to learn to look at yourself. An interesting notion of love, isn't it?

[35:10]

Love means to learn to look at yourself. The way one looks distant things for you're only one among many and whoever sees that way heals her heart without knowing it from various ills a bird a tree say to him friend I would say it's not so much just that we look at ourselves, it's that we look at ourselves, we look at the world of living flesh, we allow other people, particularly the significant people in our life, to be alive, to not just be objects in our world, but to have

[36:21]

full life of their own that we can relate to, that we can trust, that we can learn to trust as we learn to trust ourselves, and that we can engage in our situation, that we can engage in the context and conditions of our life, you know, that these are all opportunities for love. And there's something about a fundamental trust that will support us to do that. You are not your own worst enemy. Or maybe, maybe a little bit more painfully or soberingly, you don't have to be your own worst enemy.

[37:26]

You don't have to be your own worst enemy. You can become someone you trust. You can earn your own trust. You can discover how to trust others even though you don't agree with them. You know, that the process of trust is not blind. And maybe even perplexingly, it's not prescribed. You know, it's a process of discovery. To my mind, it often occurs that it's more about the process than the particulars or the consequence.

[38:30]

I often find it's more about how I'm relating to the experience that makes it trustable than the experience. And I think this is particularly helpful when we're dealing with what I'm calling those more primitive parts of our own experience. even though we are such a person, we can be a trustable person. And what enables that is bringing attention and awareness to it and seeing it for what it is. So I would say not just looking at it, But discovering a new way of relating.

[39:37]

And that's what I would say is the healing, you know, Chisla Malosh is pointing towards. It heals the hearts. It heals the relationships. It heals the very earth we live in. You know? It seems to me like right now, globally, as a species, we're shifting from the wildness of nature that has to be tamed to this dear friend that we need to love. Love means to learn to look at yourself the way one looks at distant things. For you are only one among many. And whoever sees this way heals her heart without knowing it from various ills.

[40:45]

A bird and a tree say to him, friend. Then she wants to use herself and things so that they stand in the glow of rightness. To use yourself and things so that they stand in the glow of ripeness. It doesn't matter whether he knows what he serves. Who serves best doesn't always understand. One of the ways my mind and my heart understands or feels this is that when there's intimate involvement, when there's trust and mutuality in the relatedness, that something is served.

[42:15]

And I don't have to know the outcome Or I don't even have to figure out the mechanics or the workings of all that. Even though I do like to read about neurology. And take an odd kind of comfort. So that's why I'm so weird. Even though understanding or seemingly understanding plays a role in my life, something about trusting the involvement that's inclusive, that's appreciative, that's benevolent, that's compassionate.

[43:21]

Something about discovering that sometimes this moment is asking a lot. Maybe it's asking for a kind of forgiveness that I'm not even quite sure what that's about. Or courage. or a patience. And that that kind of involvement serves. It serves me, whatever the heck that is. It serves relatedness. Sometimes it's useful to let it be expressed as a poem that's a muse, that's an offering, rather than a dogma or a doctrine.

[44:39]

It's like if we hold the ideas too tightly or too literally, we tend to forget that they're just pointing at something much more vibrant. much more multifaceted and expressive. Something that we can, that will serve us in every aspect of our being. So let me end by reading that again. The world. Faith. Faith is in you whenever you look at a dew drop or a floating leaf. and know that they are because they are. Even if you close your eyes and dream up things, the world will remain as it is, a leaf carried away by the waters of the river.

[45:45]

Hope. Hope is with you when you believe the earth is not a dream but living flesh. That sight, touch, and hearing Do not lie. That all things that you have ever seen here are like a garden looked at from a gate. Love. Love means to learn to look at yourself. The way one looks at distant things. For you are only one thing among many. And whoever sees that way heals her heart without knowing it from various ills. A bird and a tree say to him, friend. Then she wants to use herself and things so that they stand in the glow of lightness.

[46:50]

It doesn't matter whether he knows what he serves, who serves best, doesn't always understand. So, that's my words on Shraddha. Thank you for listening.

[47:21]

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