This podcast is offered by San Francisco Zen Center on the web at sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Thank you for coming out on this beautiful December day. For how many people is this the first time you've been to a city center here? A few people, not so many. So mostly returners, but a few people who are new. So welcome to you. It was my first day some day long ago, and I remember what that was like. It was kind of a combination of excitement and fear. So I wanted to say a little bit about something that just happened here.

[01:16]

For people who have been here before and people who live and practice in residence here, of course, we're used to coming into this space and sitting and being quiet and having somebody bow. But I wanted to let you know that a little bit about something that's happening here. So I, on behalf of all of us, with all of us, I am bowing before the Buddha. I'm offering incense. And I'm invoking the ancestors who the practitioners who came before us and made this all possible for us to be sitting here today. I'm also paying homage to, on behalf of all of us, to Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha in the spirit of establishing a

[02:37]

ceremonial space for us to practice within right now, a ritual space for us to come and be with each other, a space that is different than the normal spaces that we usually occupy and in the normal ways that we usually occupy a space. So I want to encourage you to just be here in this ceremonial space for the next period of 45 minutes or so, an hour. And let whatever was happening before you came in, just let it be. Let it, you know... And let yourselves actually be here, listening, watching, being, listening with your entire body, not with your thinking mind that's kind of going as it usually goes in the way, well, I like that or I don't like that or that makes sense or that doesn't make sense, but in a different way.

[04:14]

almost as if our zazen practice continues into each moment. So I give you permission to not pay attention in the usual way. Okay. I think this is a good thing to be doing at this time of year, at this time of year when it's only natural that we would look back on our year and think about what happened and at the same time look forward to the new year. to think about what may happen in the future.

[05:20]

And of course everything is, we can't help but feel like everything is colored by recent events in which people have suffered greatly. And it's not like this isn't... It's not like people aren't suffering all the time all across the world. But sometimes an event like the shooting in Connecticut will just wake us up out of our kind of this... kind of acceptance of violence and harmful acts, that for some reason we continue to perpetrate on each other.

[06:43]

So I would like to also dedicate the merit of our practice together, of our time together, to all those people. And not only the people who are suffering as a result of the deaths in Connecticut, but also to the families to the people and families and loved ones of people who are suffering all over the world right now as a result of acts of violence and hatred. So by dedicating our practice today to them, May some people, somewhere may it be our wish that some people and ultimately all beings are free from suffering.

[08:01]

Happy and able to live healthy, peaceful lives. Today I'd like to tell you a story about a fellow who is a kind of like a Zen grandfather. His name is Bodhidharma. And for people who live in the building here, you might have seen that I had a little art show of Bodhidharma drawings in the student lounge for a while. And I'm a big fan of Bodhidharma. And I forgot to bring one of those drawings. I was thinking about bringing one, but I could describe it. Here's this guy. And this is like our archetype model for a Zen practitioner.

[09:09]

And he's this guy who has a beard and big eyes and kind of like, you know... you know, kind of wild looking. They called him the red-bearded barbarian. He had dark skin. He was kind of like a, you know, like a freak or something. I mean, if somebody like that walked into city center today, I mean, we would say, oh, wow. I don't know. Is it safe? Can he stay? So this fellow was born in 4th century India. And he was actually born to a king, to a ruling class king in southern India.

[10:18]

the third son, and he came to the Dharma at a fairly early age, and he met his teacher at an early age, and his father had died, and he had an experience around his father's death where he kind of contacted this teacher and engaged with the Dharma, and he was an extremely bright person, and he immediately sensed... practice was and what the Dharma was, truth of reality. And his teacher understood that. And so his teacher took him in as a student and he said, you understand the Dharma and but you should stay with me as a student. And in fact, even after I die, you should stay and practice here in India for 67 years.

[11:30]

And then you should go to China and you should transmit the teachings to, as he said, those for a large capacity for the Dharma in China. So he predicted right away when he met Bodhidharma that Bodhidharma would go to China some 70, 80 years later. And he eventually did. His teacher died. He stayed in India and taught. And then he went to China. He must have been very old. And it took him three years to get from India to China. A three-year trip for, I don't know, what was he, like 90 years, in his 90s or something. So anyways, these stories are more or less, I mean, whether or not Bodhidharma actually existed is even a question, but we're going to go with the story, right?

[12:41]

Because this is a story of our, I mean, after the Buddha and I don't even know. Maybe after the Buddha, Bodhidharma is our reference point. There's a few other ancestors in there that are also important. So we just had practice periods at all three of our temples. And at the end of those practice periods, we have what is called a shuso ceremony. And the shuso is is the person who's been like the head monk for the practice period, a special training position. And then the head monk sits up in this seat, and all these people come into the room, and they start asking that person questions, and that person has to respond. It's also a ceremonial space like this, a very powerful ceremonial space.

[13:43]

And the story that at each place, I just went to all three of them, and to set the stage for this ceremony for all three of these chuseaus, and it's an empowerment ceremony. It's kind of like, okay, this is the coming out of this person as a practitioner, teacher, leader. To set the stage for these ceremonies, we read the story of Bodhidharma. We read the story of what happened when Bodhidharma arrived in China, and the way the story goes is like imminently or within a short period of time, he runs into the emperor of China, Emperor Wu of Liang. So Bodhidharma, you know, this red-bearded barbarian, you know, his hair and robes, you know, really rough-looking guy, shows up and he's there and he's meeting with the emperor and the emperor says, what is the highest meaning of the holy truce to Bodhidharma?

[15:14]

Bodhidharma answers, vast emptiness, nothing holy. Then the emperor says, who is it that is facing me? And Bodhidharma says, I don't know. There's a couple other words exchanged. And then... Bodhidharma leaves and the emperor leaves, and that's the entire exchange. What is the highest meaning of the holy truths? Bodhidharma says, vast emptiness, nothing holy, nothing special. nothing separate, vast emptiness.

[16:21]

In Buddhism, emptiness is almost like a technical term, you know, vast interconnected web of life, vast interpenetrating co-arising web of life. Empty of any individual, substantial, separate entities, it's one vast interconnected web of life. Starting right here, as far out as we could possibly imagine. And in that picture is nothing in particular that's more holy, more special, more anything than anything else.

[17:28]

So the other day, so now we're fast forward to today. Um, The other day, I really, occasionally I have to go somewhere and I rent, I get a zip car. Is anybody familiar with zip cars here? They're so fantastic. So I really love zip cars because I get to like try out cars. And I didn't realize that I was actually, I'm actually kind of into cars. But I've never, I mean, I had a 67 Ford Falcon station wagon when I was in college. But I've never really been into cars so much. But recently, and then I started reading like the car section in the back of the New York Times and studying like these gadgets and why is this Audi better than this? Why is this $50,000 Audi better than this?

[18:43]

$52,000 BMW. Well, it has all these special things. So at Zipcar, they have really good cars. I was surprised. So for the last year, well, am I going to get a Volkswagen or an Audi or a BMW? And they all cost more or less the same. So the other day, I'm in this fabulous, I had to go to Green Gulch Farm for a meeting, I'm in this fabulous German car, and it goes so fast, and you feel like so, so special in this thing. I mean, it's like a feather, you know, going down the highway. It was so exciting. So this song and the sound systems in these cars are just like incredible.

[19:48]

There must be speakers like all over the place. I don't know. It was like I felt like things coming here and here and here. There's air coming from everywhere and there's sound coming from everywhere. There's lights and... My wife knows this. I'm not really into cars, but I'm like... I'm like driving this car. I'm just trying to keep it on the road, you know? And the song comes on that I'm very familiar with. It's a song by this band called Radiohead. And I'm like, oh, good. I'm going to turn it up. So I turn it up really loud. It didn't, you know, these things are like like in previous shells, so nobody, I wasn't going to bother anybody, right? I'm going down the freeway, and I turned it up, and it's like, wow. And the song goes kind of like this.

[20:52]

It's actually a poem. It's a poem, so I'll just read it, the first part. When you were here before. I couldn't look you in the eye. You're just like an angel. Your skin makes me cry. You float like a feather in a beautiful world. I wish I was special. You're so darn special. I changed a word there. But I am a creep. I am a weirdo.

[21:58]

What the heck am I doing here? I don't belong here. And then, at some point, these guitars kick in, and then he starts, the guy who's reading and singing the lyrics wails in some way that's deeply satisfying and penetrating and evoking some kind of essential experience of suffering, actually. The suffering of feeling, I don't belong here.

[23:04]

It's a beautiful song. So then I was rather randomly, I was thinking about this Dharma talk and I came across a Dharma talk that Suzuki Roshi, the founder of Zen Center gave in August of 1971. And I think this was his... If I'm reading things right, this was one of his last trips, if not his last trip to Tassajara in his life. And David Chadwick told me that it was one of his last public Dharma talks. He died a few months later. But in this Dharma talk, he's talking about Bodhidharma. And he's talking about this difference of view between Bodhidharma's story and the song.

[24:26]

And he's saying that in the usual, normal kind of way we... We think about things. We start off with ourselves as individuals within a constellation of other individuals and things around us. And we try to make sense of our own life by adding things in or subtracting things. and that the many things of our life end up becoming our picture of our universe. We study these many things. We call them this, and we see them as, oh, this does this, and I do this, and you do this, and I relate to you like this, and we are friends, and we're not friends.

[25:35]

And the kind of the... The accumulation of these things in our mind is kind of like our picture of our world. In that world, there are some people that are special and some that are not special. We could see ourselves as special or as a weirdo. in that kind of worldview, that picture of our life. And so Suzuki Roshi suggests that actually, you know, that's not the right view. At the very least, that's not the view that Bodhidharma suggested we could have, which is a

[26:42]

different picture altogether a picture that starts from not the individual many pieces that come together to make the whole but it starts with a picture of the whole a picture of the one and within that picture of the one the individual particular elements find their place. He says that we start with that one being, which is the origin of all existence. That one being, being the... vast emptiness. He's calling it one being.

[27:44]

I don't know what the actual picture was in his mind, if he actually pictured something like one being or just like nothingness or what. But he gives the impression that he's thinking about like that there's actually a being, a one being. And I think that's very interesting because he goes on to say, and this is also some big Great, great being. You cannot compare that great, great being to anything else. That great being includes everything. And it is the origin of everything. Everything starts from that big being. Comes out from the great being. So nothing is greater than that. So it's also possible, of course, to see that as not some being that we can actually picture in our mind, but just being itself.

[28:51]

And I think that that's when Bodhidharma ultimately answers I don't know to the question of who are you. He's saying that I'm Not that I don't know who I am, but that I am, even before I call myself this or this, even before we get into bringing up some reference points that we're going to understand, I am here. And I am here. of this great being and I am in that way not known other than as part of the great being. But this kind of thing is difficult.

[30:08]

It's difficult to, at least for me, I don't know, maybe it just makes total sense to you, but it's kind of difficult to picture. It's like, before I know who I am, what am I? What are we? Before we're like a woman or a man, or a tree, or a mountain, or a creek, or a feather, or something special, or not special, what are we? It's kind of like, you know, it's kind of like our mind almost doesn't want to go there. I try to think, well, what would it be? But like before that, what is it it's not so easy to understand.

[31:16]

And certainly, and this is probably why we think the way we think, it's easier to think, well, okay, it's this. I'm this. That's that. It's just, in some level, easier. You can put it in a box and you can say, okay, I know what it is and I don't have to worry about that anymore. That person's a creep. I know it. I mean, this, it... It creates some kind of confusion, especially about what we're... So what are we talking about? What are we talking about in practice?

[32:18]

And where are we going? And what are we trying to understand? It makes it really challenging for us. And the only way... Maybe I shouldn't say the only way. A way that Zen has come up to kind of access this or engage or... become familiar with this difficult to understand way of seeing the world is to sit down and empty our minds and pay attention to what's happening. Sit zazen. sit down, turn our light inwardly and watch and listen and be present and let it show itself to us.

[33:23]

And then have a direct experience of that. Instead of trying to figure it out in our mind, actually have a direct experience. the truth of the way things are for ourselves. You know, this wasn't so easy for me to do because actually, you know, I like experiences. I like understanding what I'm watching and to totally let go and just be with whatever was happening and let it show me its truth.

[34:33]

It's not so easy for me. And I would go to my teacher and I would say, well, what am I doing? And actually, this is happening. Isn't that, that's more interesting and special. And he gave me a very good practice. He said, when you sit down, whatever's happening, whatever you think is coming, and whatever you try to say about your experience in zazen, in meditation, He said, say, that's not it. That's not it. Whatever it is, whatever this vast emptiness, nothing special, whatever is occurring to me right now about my experience, that's not it.

[35:44]

So our practice, you know, the Suzuki Roshi taught us and our other Zen centers teachers teach us that understanding the way things are, understanding the Dharma, is not an accumulation of knowledge or experience. It is a way of seeing and recognizing things for how they are, our life for how it is directly. So then the song goes on, I don't care if it hurts. I want to have control. I want a perfect body. I want a perfect soul. I want you to notice when I'm not around, you're so very special.

[36:58]

I wish I was special. I am grateful that there's another view of the world than just that one. At the end of the Dharma talk, Suzuki Roshi said, mountains speak, rivers speak, insects all speak Buddha's teaching. Whatever you see, that is Buddha's teaching. Right understanding of it is not to have special eyes to see or special ears to hear, but it means just to listen. That which exists is not the mountain, and it is not you, but something which results between the two of you.

[38:12]

That sound Not the insect and not you. It's just sound. Then he says, that is more true. You see? So actually, I am talking about something that you can understand. I am not fooling around either. I am talking about an ultimate truth which I can accept and which you can accept, that's all, nothing special. But you feel that I am talking about something special because your way of thinking is special. He says, I am not fooling around either. He wasn't fooling around.

[39:17]

He told the people that I'm not fooling around. I'm not playing some game with you. I'm telling you about something which is actually true because I've seen it. And in seeing it, I can accept it. And you can see it too. And you can accept it as truth. As opposed to living in a world where we're all trying to understand whether or not I am special or I am a freak. There's a different way of seeing it.

[40:22]

There's a different way of accepting our own reality. And we can't afford to be fooling around either with all the challenges we have in our world. We can't afford to stay asleep, to be sleepwalking through this world. We have to wake up from the dream that we are actually separate from anything else or anybody else, that we are separate from the cloud or the mountain, or the river, or the fish in the river, or the ocean, or our children, or people we don't necessarily like or have much affinity with.

[41:53]

We have to wake up. We have to stop fooling around and we have to wake up from the delusion that we are not part of this one big being. An ancient Buddha once said, the entire universe is the true human body. when I was listening to that song and I turned it up as loud as I could get it and still stand it. When the fellow was screaming out of the speakers, he was saying, we have to see this now.

[42:56]

Even to me now, he was in the suffering. We have to do all we can. like that somebody said, I'm not fooling around. That makes me really happy. And when you look at Bodhidharma, Bodhidharma is always depicted.

[43:59]

He has a mouth that goes kind of like down like this. And eyes that are like... But he's not angry. He's not angry. He's fierce. I mean, this guy is not fooling around. This guy is going to practice. This guy is going to wake up in each moment. What is happening here? What is it? And it's almost funny, you know? It's almost funny because it doesn't take itself too seriously, but it's not fooling around. It's not taking being special too seriously.

[45:01]

So anyways, as we all As we move into the holidays, we spend time with people we care about and love. And also, just within ourselves, we try to understand, we take some time to reflect on where we come from, where we've been, where we are, where we're going. I hope that you all take care of yourselves. Give yourselves time to sit quietly when you need to. Turn your attention inwardly, pay attention to

[46:17]

What's happening? Your breath? Sensations of your body? And I wish you all the best. And thank you very much for your attention today. Do we have another Dharma talk before the end of the year? We have more Dharma talks. One more. Next Saturday. Next Saturday we have a Dharma talk too. Thank you very much and have a wonderful day. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma.

[47:21]

For more information, please visit sfcc.org and click Giving. May we all fully enjoy the Dharma.

[47:29]

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