Be Completely Who You Are

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SF-02709B
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Rohatsu Sesshin

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days
years
i noticed we're kind of dragging on the japanese version that chant it may be because you don't know it well and you're waiting to see what you here to so maybe to pick up a coffee and taken your sleeve or something ah the kind of is getting very elongated

while i'm to
protection matters
it would help me
ah
if everyone in sheen would at least once
present themselves to and dogs on
you know what i talk about in these dharma talks mostly comes from what people bring up
but to me and the joke's on you
and
and when we have the
on
shows on ceremony
it's much easier for the person leading so ashamed to be to respond more appropriately
if the person asking the question is made themselves known
it's up to you but it would help me
so i want to continue some
i shared with you some
yesterday
a lecture which new hero sheet as far as i can tell it's the last the opening lecture of the last session he lived here in the center
on june of nineteen seventy one he became ill and august
and he's talking about she can composer
he says she can that are zazen is just to be ourselves
we should not expect anything
just be ourselves and continue this practice forever
that is our way you know
we say even in a snap of your fingers there are millions of cheaters units of time
we say moment after moment but in your actual practice in a moment is to law
if we say moment or one breath when breathing after another your mind is still involved and following breathing
we say to follow our breathing
but the feeling is that you live in each moment
if you live in each moment you do not expect anything
with everything you become you yourself
if you feel yourself without any idea of time in the smallest particle of time
that is awesome
this practice is not so easy
you may not be able to continue it for even one period he would make such a big effort
maybe what you can do though
for the next five days this was the beginning the five days a shame
is to extend this feeling for each period
or to prepare for this chicken taza
and this preparation or extension of the practice to another period of time eventually will be extended to everyday life
how you extend your practice is to expose yourself as you are
you shouldn't try to be someone else
you should be very honest with yourself and express yourself fully
and you should be brave enough to express yourself
whatever people may say you know it is all right
you should be just yourself at least for your teacher
and at least for yourself you should be willing to be
just this one as it is
this doesn't mean just to
express every little wave on the ocean of your mind
but to express fully
your whole being
to be willing to be the full-beam
you know we have this this
thoughts and moods and the
the emotions that rise and fall like waves on the ocean
and we sit as we sit
where the whole ocean
and we become aware of all of the waves
but they just rise and fall
they are impermanent
all things are impermanent they arise that the pounds the way
to live in harmony with history
brings grey hair finance
this point head is very helpful
to be in harmony with this truth of imprint
brings great happiness
you know we read again joe con la morning service
in the django colonist says when you sail out on a boat to the middle of the ocean where no land is in sight
and view the four directions
the ocean looks circular and does not look any other way
but the ocean is neither round or square
it's features are infinite and variety
this like a palace it is like a jewel
it only looks circular as far as you can see at that time
and you are like that
any definition description on
idea notion
of self that you may have
is just as far as you can see at that time
but you yourself
are neither round or square
you extend
far beyond what you can see at any moment
whatever definition you may hold in your mind limits you to less than the vastness
of your entire being
it's just like identifying the waves
as the ocean

we sit to settle
in the whole ocean
not knowing the limit of it not knowing the extent of it not knowing the form of it
just being
willing to be what it is
and another top
fuck
on one of the cases of the blue cliff reference superhero oh she talks a little about relative and absolute
he quotes from the introduction by angle thing if you are caught by the slightest idea of good and bad your mind but to mind are essentially mine we will be lost in the realm of disorder
if you do not have an idea of the order of stages there will be no purpose in your practice
know which do you think is better to pursue the relative way or to resume to the absolute
this is suzuki roshi his commentary on then infection
the relative form and color that you see now
our the conditioned attributes of the unconditioned
constant absolute
the waves on the ocean
the absolute is the eternal on conditionality that gives rise to the condition relative ways of breathless
what you see now is the eternal on conditionality of the absolute and the momentary conditioned relatives
actually the positive or relative way is not different from the negative or absolute way
even though you follow the order of the stages in your actual practice if each relative stage even the first stage is brought out in full relief against the darkness of the absolute
and if there is no fumbling and groping in your practice under the right teacher
then your practice is already in the realm of reality
each relative stage there's the full meaning of the absolute
and the absolute reveals its actual meaning in the relative practice
if you wish to understand the secret you must study under the right teacher not only by words but also by actual conduct on each moment on the particular circumstances

mrs being willing to express yourself fully
to reveal yourself to expose yourself to yourself
and to at least one other person
to keep yourself honest
as you come to know yourself more fully
and accept yourself more fully as you are
you will be willing to be seen as you are
by everyone
this is the way that the practice of saga
helps us to realize or so
whoa back to how we practice which can cause of
in breathing
he wants to see come back one more time
do what i brought up yesterday
from suzuki roshi lecture
this is just to be honest with yourself and to express yourself fully without expecting anything
and be ready to understand others is how you extend your practice to everyday life
and then he talks about breathing as he spoke it yesterday as i spoke with yesterday
let's go back to one person i'm just explaining the feeling of chicken up
the important point if she can taza is in your exhaling
instead of trying to feel yourself
try to fade and emptiness when you had failed
when you have this practice in your last moment you have nothing to be a braider
you are actually aiming at emptiness the empty area
there is no other way for you to have a feeling of immortality
you will come one with everything after you completely x failed with this feeling
when you have this practice you cannot be angry so easily
because you're interested in inhaling more than exhale you become anger could quite easily
you are trying to be alive always you know
the other day my friend had a heart attack and all he could do as exhale he couldn't inhale
but if he could have tried to exhale at that moment as we exhale
aiming for emptiness
then i think he wouldn't have felt so bad
the great joy for us as exhaling rather than inhaling
he tried to take another inhalation and he thought he couldn't inhale anymore
but if he can to have tried to exhale as we do
then i think he could have taken another inhalation more easily
so exhaling is very important for us
to die is more important than to try to be alive
we always try to be alive so we have trouble
instead of trying to be alive or active
if we try to be calmer and die or fade away into emptiness
then naturally we will be taken care of
what it will take care of us
moment after moment you shouldn't lose this kind of practice as you practice fantasy
moment after moment
fading back into the great ocean of buddha
and reappear it
with the next breath

then

i don't want to mix up metaphors too much but
michael quoted a roommate point
last night about all streams streaming to the ocean streaming toward the ocean

so we can also think of ourselves as stream streaming toward the ocean
and i bring that up because someone said to me
i know that i'm not the same as i was when i was a little boy but still
i can remember
being a little boy and i see my aunts and uncles that thanksgiving they say oh yes it's little willie
right now grown up in two grown up bill
and it's like a stream
stream is sort of all one stream but it's
not the same
downstream is it is upstream it changes
loser some things and things were added to it it widens
becomes sometimes
more shallow sometimes more deep sometimes more com sometimes more turbulent
little rivulets come in from here and there
more rain comes down to fix up mud
all kinds of things happened to the stream as it's strange toward the ocean still it streaming toward the ocean
and it will
lose itself the ocean
and yet
the water will continue to circulate
they will continue to be stream streaming towards the ocean
and the ocean will continue to receive all the streams
to evaporate
renew all the streams
it is continues
and we can
sort of identify with a particular stream
but we can't grab onto it
and define it
it's just flowing

and the life of the stream is in the flowing
when the meeting each
each weed and each rock and egypt
turn and curve of the bank
and rushing on to streaming toward the ocean
being completely this particular stream
but it's all water
huh
how we come to know the nature
water
has to sit

exhaling letting the exhale go
into emptiness
am returning
it's ready
huh
are you willing to be
just as you
completely
this one
can you embrace all of it as it is
all the dirt and sticks and rocks and mud that got washed into the stream upstream
let it settle out
flow on streaming toward the ocean
just like this
accepting everything as it is

huh
oh
now

you say allah in a boat the middle of an ocean
there are no land is in sight and few the four directions
the ocean looks circular and does not look any other way
but the ocean is neither round or square
it's features are infinite variety
it's like a palace
a jewel
it only looks circular as far as you can see that
you must know that although
it may look round or square the other features of oceans and mountains are infinite and variety
worlds are there
it is so not only around you but also
directly within you or in a drop of water
ha
the