April 4th, 1995, Serial No. 02697

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ah today's the to have a whole lure
good morning
this morning
like crabs for those we haven't been ah
at don't like yours lately or in the practice period we have been studying a poem called hinch and name
i'm trusting the mind untrusting the heart ah poem on the trusting mind it's variously translated
it's the first as and poem
ah attributed to the third ancestors then
i've been trying to and i've been studying and trying to understand it and trying to elucidated in and with other is trying to elucidate it in classes and t discussions
and this morning the universe conspired to show me a bit of it
in just noticing the
noticing what happened in my mind
i'm noticing what happened
no thing what happened
ah and so i'm am i may tell it to you in some detail not because you're interested what's going on in my mind but because some aspects of it may
may strike a familiar chord with you
at a certain point a few of the lines of this point ah
came up for me
and i said i am
so the lines that i want to look at this morning are again variously translated one thing we're doing a player who's looking at eight different translations of this point it's one that's been no
it's a great favourite and has been translated many times
ah but there are few lines that the in the most prevalent translation goes something like to set up put you like against you what you dislike is the disease of a mind
when the deep meaning of things is not understood
the minds essential piece is lost to no avail
so just the experience i noticed
this morning's early morning thousand
was very peaceful
i yesterday was kind of a busy day and it was wonderful to just sick this morning and there was no one to talk with and practice discussion there was nothing i had to do but sit
and i health are saddled and peaceful first really sweet
and i have to admit i kind of like the
and service was great the chatting with strong and everything was going just beautifully and then during fudgy i cleaned up a little mess that i had noticed and i was very pleased with myself and and then the gong rang and i put on my roads
and went with fish on with some incense to open the window for breakfast
and so they've been several minutes since the gone
i expected
the i expected
oh i'd notice just then i might have saved myself a lot of grief for it but i expected the service to be down there in the food to be on the table on
you know the head serve it to be there and so forth well that wasn't what happened excuse me and this has got nothing to do with any criticism of anybody this was just this is just what was happening in my mind
so on in my old habitual way i got a little flustered well why isn't the food here where are the surfers where's the head server
the cables not even moved away from the wall shall put down the incense and let's move the table i from the wall
busy blanche
both you know that will know that the
that's pretty typical
old habit
well had table when it's loaded up with everything is very heavy i can finally move it and so it made a lot of rack and you've probably heard of news and a drag on the football
you know and then we went in and we offered incense and we sat down
he was a while before the meal board towels came in and my mind can no longer young where are the meal board towels what's going on
and i don't know what happened to the essential piece of the mind but i couldn't find it anywhere they were going to get the ibm and it also affected my body because i couldn't just sit could just sit still wait for whatever was coming next i was looking to see where's the head several what's going on
watch then it be seen doing all the time over there know it but didn't make us on put somebody in
so i have you know i notice i know this tendency of mine and so i have a a mealtime mantra which is keep your eyes down and shut up
but i couldn't remember the smoker and pick
so if a male boards were wiped than i forgot the bow and bringing my balls up front i'm sitting there
people really hope both yeah right
ah and then
the certain point we start the chant and i start putting my utensils in my below before its time and i've just get completely whatever i may have known about the normal forms of doing oreo he would just shut because my mind has got a little longer
ah gee and only been sitting here a long time all these people that are not used to sitting there lanes are going to kill them before the meal is over and i mean nothing
anyhow it's
when the deep meaning of things is not understood minds essential piece is lost to no avail
to set up what one likes against what one dislikes is the prime of disease of the mind
ah it isn't that we don't have likes and dislikes of course we do
ah human beings have likes and dislikes
ah they're very mercurial you know ah we at the moment that we like something or want something or expect something it's absolutely true right now whatever you know
but if you will just kind of rouge you reviews some of your likes and dislikes
ah your likes and clothing
ah are they the same as they were some years ago to they change
your likes and food
how do they remained constant from to their change
choose just kind of investigate any any like that you have that you sort of
of really think is
important and essential
it always like her
can they come and do they go
do they
our early in constant flux either rapidly or slowly
are they really the essential truth of things the way it feels some time when we're really caught up in our preferences
are they are they just momentary states of mind
with longer or shorter moments perhaps but done
are they not
pretty ephemeral
and even though
there may be something that you like or something that you dislike
does it require so much
fuss and energy to on
grasp after what you like and push away or you dislike or can you just notice when something is wrong
other than you might have hoped or expected to notice oh i was i have some hope or expectation
well so
ah the world is is
and we
we bring to it
our ideas
of how we would like to be
as when i had some expectation that while the food is always down here by now on so the head server
ah something as silly as petty as that can just make waves in the mine
and the minds essential piece has gone
and i know that all of this is trivial and yet i had caught in it
and i can see that this kind of of fun
yammering about on about what i like and dislike or how things ought to be or healthy i want things to be his stuff that i kind of
come on kind of enjoy doing it otherwise why would i do it so much
kind of entertaining or
i don't know it seems to be something that that come
that i like to do and perhaps you'd have to
for me
maybe i think of it is it's kind of an addiction to a little excitement
little love
little juice to keep my mind busy
and if i don't entertain these thoughts when they come up
then what happens next
well sometimes sometimes it's very peaceful
ah sometimes if it gets to peaceful
on i think i get a little frightened
if i can't
kind of identify myself by my likes and dislikes are my ideas of my preconceptions inline fuse ah
i may begin to get a little lost
hmm maybe
maybe that's not the most comfortable
situation in the world for me
so bring up a little excitement and i can avoid noticing that actually there's nothing much there
it's just breath
then posture
just sitting there
it's just sitting there are being open to breath coming and going
he said okay
is that enough
where is self that
the self isn't there then what
and who's doing this
what's happening

when the deep meaning of things is not understood
the minds of central piece is lost to no avail what does this deep meaning of things
can i adjust
stay in this not knowing
simply breathing in and breathing out
this openness
to whatever arises
without grasping after something
to identify with
do i have to keep stirring the pot
you know if you have a glass of water and let its let's say you scoop up something from a pond it's kind of cloudy and you let it sit a long time
and becomes very clear
but often
for use at it as analogy for the mind often we we started up again
it's more familiar when it's stirred up
his little waves on the surface of the mind
this little cloudiness in the clear water
we can recognize
when it's really clear
the difference between this mind and any mind
so how will i know who's me
this clear mind is so vast it's no longer contained in whatever idea i have a who i am
hi i have someone sent me a card
oh i don't know where you found it and has a poem by edgar guest
notes kiss me by nathaniel hawthorne
happiness is a butterfly
which when pursued is just beyond your grasp
but if he will sit down quietly
male light upon you

i don't know about happiness
but clarity
i think it's like that
if we sit down quietly and don't pursue it
clarity will rise and perhaps not
it's pretty
it's pretty a femoral it's pretty
mom has a mind of it's own perhaps
we can't control it one way or the other
i'd like to share with you ah
orange blais commentary on on these lines
he translated so slightly differently the conflict of longing and loathing this is the disease of the mind
this is something arises which pleases the mind which fits in with our notion of what is profitable for us and we love it
something arises which torques us which conflicts with our wants and we hate it
so long as we possess this individual mine enlightenment and delusion pain and pleasure accepting and rejecting good and bad toss us up and down on the waves of existence never moving onwards always the same restlessness and wobbling the same fear of woe and insecurity of joy
in addition the mirror of our mind being distorted nothing appears in its natural it's original form
the laos appears a dirty los them thing the lion and noble creature
but when we see the laos is it really is it's not merely a neutral thing it's something to be accepted as inevitable and our mortal life is in by shows verse
fleas lice
the horse pissing by my pillow
it may be seen as something charming and meaningful as and he says haiku
giving the breast while counting the flea bites
and the next two lines not knowing the profound meaning of things we disturb our original piece of mind to no purpose
he says when we are in the way when we act without love or hate hope or despair or indifference
the meaning of things are self evident
not merely impossible but unnecessary to express
conversely while we are looking for the significance of things
it is nonexistent
our original nature is one of perfect harmony with the universe
for harmony not of similarity or correspondence but of identity

so this original piece of mind or this

that can arise
when we're not identified with what we like them what we dislike
that mind
can be vast
that mind
biases is identical
with the whole universe
so in that line
this idea of a separate self

so we we sit upright
and breathe
and just notice
a tendency to fuss a tendency to get excited
an attendance had a grasp on to ideas
un projections
and anything that we identify with that we can identify with
because this disappearing of the separate self
while it may be very calm and clear and peaceful blissful even
it's also
ah worrisome and frightening
and there's the other side
we may
find ourselves
this for in this calm clear mind
and then
we want to hold onto it
we don't want to kill it up it's ours
and that too
can be a trap
zen practice is not about ah
this appearing and some blissful state
zen practice is about being able to recognize
that our mind as one with the universe and myriad things
are appearing and disappearing all the time and we are present
as one of these myriad things in the universe
responding to whatever arises
in our daily life
we're not
disappearing from the world of our daily life into some ah bliss for escape
we're trying
to settle ourselves
on this essential piece of the mind though that we can
moment after moment interact with all that we meet
from the settle state
meeting whatever arises directly
without the interference
of clinging to likes and dislikes
so that we actually can meet things as they are
because we are as we are
and since we are as we are we have to fully accept this mind that clings to preferences as oh yes hello again
busy this morning i wait
ha well hello
so we moved from
peaceful mind to disturb mine too peaceful mind to disturb mind
that's how life is
we each have our own favorite flavor disturbances
and we can take them more or less seriously
and i think the best we can do in practice is just to learn to take our particular brand of preferences
more and more lightly
because to want to be without preferences is another preference
it's kind of like this infinite regression
the just not to be so cut by it that we we attribute reality to these preferences they're just passing fancies of the mind
they come and they go
this week it's this one and next week it's that one
stronger we don't reapply them we don't get so stuck with him
and if we rely them when we noticed that we've done that made it into something real and from and substantial say oh yeah it's not really substantial
this is what we mean by the essential meaning of things nothing in the world is substantial
it's all constant flux
it's all coming and going arising and passing away
we think this thing the rising and passing away
and that's just
the nature of things
that's how it is
when we can
feel okay about that when we can settle with there when we can
allow everything to be as it is than we can be as we are without disturbance
when we get caught up in our habits than were caught up in her head
that's all
so today let's just
those of you who are in the one day sitting just returned to the zendo
and sit some more
and just be with what is
enjoy reading
struggle with your preferences whatever's going on just be with it moment after moment
me or and