A few moments ago, I was in the process of deciding whether to start by reading the koan again or reading a poem. And I thought, I think I'll go for the poem. Novelty always has a certain attraction. Okay. Here's a poem by Seamus Heaney. It's called The Rainstick. You know, one of those cypresses Cactus sticks. You turn it upside down.

[01:00]

Sounds like it's raining. Up end the rain stick. And what happens next is the music that you never would have known to listen for in a cactus stock. Dine pour, slush rush, spillage and backwash come flowing through. You stand there like a pipe being played by water. You shake it again lightly. And diminuendo runs through all its scales like a gutter, stopping trickling. Who cares if all the music that transpires is the fall of grit or dry seeds inside a cactus? You're like a rich person entering heaven through the ear of a raindrop. Listen now again. When the Jisha set down the lectern, he set it on the ridge between two tatami mats.

[02:14]

It was just teetering. I was kind of fascinated by that. And I thought, I guess I'm in Shashin now. Everything's important and nothing's important. teach a chaplaincy course. And there's lots of details in it. Here's some important things to know about how to minister to suffering in this way or that way. You're going to be ministering to an array of faith beliefs and non-beliefs and skills and approaches to that. Then the trainee chaplains go out and get an internship and do all that.

[03:20]

And then about two-thirds of the, we meet once a month for a year. And about two-thirds of the way through the course, we say, we'd like to do case studies. Collectively study something that came up in your chaplaincy training. And the most interesting case studies are your great failures. The ones we left the room or the environment or the circumstance thinking, ugh, screwed that up. And usually by that point in the course, people are ready to just put that out there. they would be most likely embarrassed.

[04:26]

Not wishing to show their inadequacies. Not sure what others would think of them if they did. And yet somehow Just in the process of going out there and being intimidated, thinking, oh, I'm just a fake. I have no idea what I'm doing. Somehow going through that, not so much compiling intellectual notions. Here's a good reason why I should trust my own experience. Not to say our minds can't come up with that, but usually it falls short when you get confronted with the situation.

[05:30]

You forget the good reason. What was the good reason? And then two days later, you remember. Oh, yeah. Because nobody's perfect. Now I remember. Sometimes the Dharma that we're presented with in the Zen world is utterly ferocious. Like Yangshan saying to the monk. To say that I don't have anything particular or not would not be accurate. Based on your insight you only get one mystery and you take the seat and wear the robe after this see on your own no clues no hints maybe the notion is can you become really curious now what's going on for me the so-called me

[06:56]

how is it no matter how many times I turn the rain streak stick up I hear the rush of water even though my logical mind knows that's cactus seeds inside a dried cactus tube no it's not it's rushing water How can that be, as Seamus Heaney so wonderfully puts it? You're like a rich person entering heaven through the ear of a raindrop. Listen again. Listen now again. To our logical mind, the excellence of Shashin is our moments of triumph, our moments of success.

[08:09]

We chanted the Heart Sutra from start to finish without ever wandering off to some mysterious place. But maybe the time you wandered off into a mysterious place and came back and thought, did I keep chanting then? Or the time when you look down and your rarioki is out and you think, I don't remember doing that. some habitual mix of thought and feeling arises and you've lectured yourself quite eloquently before this is old stuff comes out of an old habit energy aspect of my psychological being it's just a mere phenomena of the moment

[09:32]

there you go. You turn it upside down and you say, oh, raindrops inside a tube. And then each day we chant, have a look at a shvara bodhisattva. When practicing deeply, prajnaparamita, perceived that all five skandhas in their own being are empty. and was relieved of suffering. Nice work if you can get it. We all have our moments. as we settle into Sachin, they appear more for us, like a lectern back and forth between form and emptiness.

[10:58]

say that's it and imply other things are not it is we do ourselves a disservice maybe we do ourselves a double disservice no at one point we're setting up a dualism but in another way we're eroding Radha, the trust in own being. Not that own being is my being, own being is interbeing. The sound of the truck and hearing consciousness create the moment. the sign of the rain stick.

[12:15]

And hearing consciousness create the sign of rain that doesn't have any rain. And the sutra simply says, when this is apprehended solid, permanent, independent existence that's normally asserted is disrupted. But can we allow it to also say yes, but when it's grasped there's a teaching too. Even being fooled into the thought rain in a stick even that foolishness has something to teach even that foolishness can facilitate presence so in the chaplaincy course we put that notion out there

[13:43]

Anyone want to tell us about a really great stupid thing they did and totally failed? Usually there's a little silence. And then someone speaks. I went into a room And this heavyset man was lying there almost naked. And the very sight of it, I froze. I couldn't go closer because of my impulse to want to leave. with our own perspective on reality and the associations we have with it.

[14:53]

Then the interesting thing is that when we, so in the chaplaincy course, what did that initiate? That gave everybody permission to speak of their own hesitancies the place where they freeze where they get stuck maybe several days later they think of exactly what they should have done what would have been an excellent response The embodiment of compassion is how those experiences are engaged.

[16:09]

How they rely and some shraddha, trust, confidence, faith in the Buddha way, how they evoke trust, confidence, faith in the Buddha way. It would be utter foolishness to think our moments of presence were irrelevant. They're not. Often they hold for us an encouragement. Often they hold for us an insight into the pliability of consciousness. We notice the mind

[17:19]

that's labeling the sound as raindrops. And we have an insight into the conditioned nature of existence. That all five skandhas move in concert and create an experience. And it havers there between real and unreal. And we discover when the moment is illuminated, when the moment is brightened with awareness the very process of being illuminated, being seen for what it is, contributes in a human way often to encouragement, insight.

[18:39]

And as we proceed and continue to practice we discover the limitation of grasping that as some absolute insight so such moments are precious such moments Bring us back to the zendo when the bell rings. Such moments let something in us soften. Or as the koan says, lets the dragon soar. and the cranes fly Rumi says expanding and contracting presence with them both could this be

[20:18]

the nature of continuous contact, samadhi. Yes this, yes this, yes this. So what? In conventional terms, this is good Zen. In conventional terms, this is Zen failure. David Chadwick wrote a book called Diary of a Zen's Failure in Japan. It's a great read. It's hilarious. And it's radically honest. So in the midst of your

[21:22]

expanding and opening in the midst of your contracting and resisting in the midst of your sparkling presence in the midst of your mysterious absence can there be a diligence a dedication that goes beyond success and failure The song on the passing radio is just what it is. On the first night of Sashin, someone drove and they were playing Alabamba loudly on their radio. And my mind leaped to attention.

[22:23]

I didn't even know I liked that song that much. Maybe anything other than the murky depths of Zazan. I would say to you, sweet and lovely is all that science. It's supported by the steady basic practice. When you start to sit, I would strongly

[23:28]

encourage you to have a routine, a routine that aligns your body and breath, a routine that turns the mind to noticing mind, brings awareness to the state of mind, brings awareness to any dominant thoughts, any infusions of strong emotion. And in doing so, presents the coin. What is Zazen? And that that's given time, impossible as it is. So feel magnificently in the presence of that impossibility. And let whatever arises help, support, illuminate, dedicate the engagement.

[24:55]

It's so easy when we're getting tired, when the mind is being flooded one way or another. let Zazin become a vague activity. That's the fierceness of our practice. It's so easy to sidestep the deep request it makes of us. As we sit, as we walk, as we eat, as we work, and entering into that deep request,

[26:05]

touchy business that radical honesty will reveal a lot when it opens like a hand it's a cool drink to a thirsty person closes like a fist fist is excellent for hitting somebody with finding fault somewhere else attributing blame but it also can call forth compassion And I would say this is supported by having a clearly defined and commitment to a particular way of engaging body and breath and mind.

[27:38]

It becomes literally ingrained. associated with your moments of presence. It creates them, it's informed by them. And as you sit and go through your process of alignment, something beyond words is speaking. John says, based on your insight, you get one mystery.

[28:41]

You can take your seat and wear your robe. Once my ex-wife and I went to a play in Dublin, in the Abbey Theatre. After about 10 minutes, she nudged me and said, I don't understand a single word they're saying. And I thought, really? They had very strong Irish accents, which to me is completely clear. And to my ex-wife was indecipherable. So I gave her a sort of English to English translation, which was kind of fun.

[29:45]

Each of us seeing the world, hearing the world, attending to the world that we're co-creating in the way that we do, arising out of the causes and conditions that make us the way we are. That's the insight you get. That's the proposition of the reality that arises. That's what awareness illuminates. It doesn't illuminate some absolute truth It illuminates a particular truth and it illuminates the process of being aware. So as we settle into the heart of Shishina, as thoroughly as you can, reminding yourself

[31:00]

continuous contact continuous experiencing this great mystery called me and here's what I say about it but wait a minute let me watch carefully and see how it is. There's a saying attributed to Bodhidharma, if you want to know the fish, watch the water. See what that fish, what kind of waves that fish creates. What kind of thoughts, what kind of memories, what kind of imaginings, anticipations, what kind of noticing and judging or approving or disapproving others?

[32:09]

What kind of opening with deep appreciation? What kind of closing with some troubling agitation? and says, according to your insight, you get your teaching. And I would say to you, this fundamental initiating point What helps create the awareness that contacts the moment?

[33:17]

What kind of disposition, what kind of effort, what kind of diligence helps restore it and bring it back? What dissipates it What undermines it? Dugan Genji says, all the Buddhas, all the ancestors studied this. That's what they passed one to the other. Yuzuki Rokshi said, it's important to believe in nothing. Meaning, when you grasp a particular attitude or definition of practice, of success at practice, at failure at practice, you're limiting.

[34:32]

Is this not quite light enough? You're limiting the openness to what is. And you're also adding a distraction. Because as soon as you say this is it, you're implying something else is not. Your view, your availability become limited. This is it. And everything is it. So, the marvelous paradox, believing in nothing and believing in everything, are very close together. turning up the rain stick and hearing the water fall again fascinating wonderful magical so what its mere appearance only if we grasp it as absolute

[36:08]

and exclude something else. So Avalokitesvara not only holds the human condition with the benevolence, with the patience, but also holds it with a workable process of cultivating awareness. Suzuki Roshi says, what contributes in that is not grasping anything or believing in nothing. And on a practical level, I would say to you, as you literally embody the body and breath and the alignment of engagement

[37:12]

time and time and time it becomes adaptable it becomes mobile it becomes available not so much that it's pulled forward through some determined effort but it's just close at hand it's not that the mind says I am going to listen to the sign of that truck and have an enlightening experience. In the diligence of continuous effort, it happens. And sometimes it doesn't happen. And we include that compassionately in our diligence.

[38:21]

So, I edited this poem first time around. Here's the whole story. The Rainstick. Append the rainstick. And what happens next is a music that you never would have known to listen for in a cactus duck. Dying poor, slush rush, spillage and backwash come flowing through. You stand there like a pipe being played by water. You shake it again lightly and diminuendo runs through all its scales like a gutter. stopping trickling. And now, here comes a sprinkle of drops out of the freshened leaves. Then subtle little wets off grass and daisies. Then glitter drizzle, almost brass over.

[39:33]

Upend the stick again. Whatever happens next is undiminished for having happened once, twice. ten a thousand times before. Who cares if all the music that transpires is the fall of grit or dried seeds through a cactus. You're like a rich person entering heaven through the ear of a raindrop. Listen now. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive.

[40:37]

Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, please visit sfzc.org and click Giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[40:52]

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