This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations by people like you. Good morning. [...] Well... Hopefully this will be OK. Yeah. And the Chinese teacher said was asked, what was the most important thing? And he said, the first thing is to practice. And then he said, the second thing is to practice. And by the way, the third thing is to practice. What do you mean by that? Sometimes when some of us who really appreciate our Zen practice talk about it, it seems so precious.

[01:12]

Practice. And some of us resist practice or practice. But that way said, it's not that there's no practice in realization. It just cannot be defiled. Which means the more precious you may practice, it's still just practice. It's still the wonderful thing it is. And the people talk about the realization. Wow. But it's just realization. You understand? I am editing a Suzuki Roshi lecture for the window where he talks about a basket of fruit.

[02:19]

He says, do you eat the best fruit first or the last fruit? If you always pick the first fruit, you'll always eat the best fruit. If you always pick the worst fruit, you'll always eat the worst. But even though he said he's recommending that you eat the worst fruit first. So it doesn't matter as long as you eat the whole basket. Do you understand? It's not about getting the best or getting the worst. It's about appreciating everything as it is. It can't be defiled. We tried to defile everything. I want it. Which sort of defiles it, but it really doesn't. Because everything is just as it is.

[03:23]

No matter how much we try to make it bigger or smaller. It's just so. So if you think I'm going to eat the best fruit all the time and maybe other people can eat the next best. That's not so good. Or maybe you think, oh, I'll be very virtuous and eat the worst fruit first. But if you eat the whole damn fruit. To eat your whole life. Not just eat the good parts or eat the bad parts. Swallow it all. It's not that there's no practice in realization. It just it cannot be defiled.

[04:28]

Of course, we try to do things. and we're looking for some end or improvement. But things are just as they are. If we bow, the whole world is bowing. If you bow to get something, it doesn't really work. You may think it works and it may work a little bit because robbing a bank and bowing are different has different results. But it's not your idea about what happens. So today I have a show with my friend Max Gimlet is a painter and

[05:33]

Rather famous and successful. And he came one day and we started to paint together. And I noticed how he painted. He would get very still and then he would do something. And then he would look at it and then he would do something. It's the freedom of the stroke that's important. That's your ideas of that stroke. your ideas come in to when you have something to work on them one way or another. So take a look at the paintings. They're almost all collaborations, except we put in. I put in one that I did and he put in one that he did just to show you what the difference is. But the great thing about it is when I look at this paintings now, I can't figure out which part I painted in which part he painted.

[06:39]

There's some paintings come out better than other paintings. But that's in the world of comparison. And that's a world we live in often. necessary. If you take a left turn, you know, you get to some place to your right turn, you know, get someplace else. But actually, each one of you has your own virtue. busy comparing each other's virtues, which is not really about virtue. It's about status or something. But if you can see each person's virtue, that's pretty good.

[07:49]

And if you can try to manifest your own virtue, which is not so much discrimination as what your motivation is to do something wholeheartedly, whatever that means. But I think that we have some sense of what that means. You'll get wholeheartedness back. If you do something comparatively back, you'll get back to something comparatively, you'll get some partial comparison back. You know, bowing is, Bringing the left side of your body and the right side of your body, the active and the passive. Bringing it all together and making one action. This may be the sound of one hand clapping.

[09:00]

down to Tassajara a couple of times in the summer and I'm always impressed. Everyone's working hard and doing their best. And it's almost seamless the way it happens. However, unfortunately, I have the honor of having people talk to me about what's happening to them. And that's when they don't feel so good. There's so many stories and counter stories about what people are doing and do this. I'll do this or maybe I'll do that. I should do that. I get a headache. And I'm not even doing that so much. I have my own version, but. But actually, the life you lead is probably pretty good. If you would just lead it and not be led by it.

[10:14]

Of course, we have some intention and we try our best and we can have goals and plans. But that has its place. It's not. It's not the whole thing. Whatever your plans are, you're sitting here in this room right now. And are you in this room right now? So in some ways, for the purposes of today's talk, I'll say that Zen practice is the art of living. Which means practices. Having some intention and seeing what happens. Seeing how you fall down.

[11:21]

Seeing what habits you have. And learning. The world is one of total information. Not of judgment. Judgment is a comparative thing. So in your life, eats the whole basket of fruit. You're only going to eat some of it and eat the worst first. Let other people have the best. That's a kind of comparative thinking, but it's not so self-centered. You may say that person is not so good or that person is good or.

[12:53]

If you're going to make comparisons to make comparisons of ways that inspire you, not saying, well, that person is worse than I am, so I can be worse than that. The lowest common denominator. If there are. Five people in the tank and. Who do worse than you are, you feel, oh, I'm pretty good. That's funny. I mean, I'm not saying you're good or bad, but. But to use other people in comparison to build your own. Falling down. It shows how sensitive we are. Many Buddhist teachers, when they talk to Asian teachers, the Asian teachers are surprised that Americans have such a low self-esteem.

[14:06]

If you have low self-esteem, you can't see what it's. You can't see how you're falling down because it's too global. So have a good self-esteem and notice your faults. kind of a contradiction because it's not that our faults are so. In a painting, I can see parts of it, which I wish that one was a little different. That's pretty good. But it's one whole painting. The advantage of brushwork rather than oils or acrylics is you can't work it too much. Oils and acrylics, you can go over and over and it could still get improved.

[15:12]

But with brush and ink, there's only so much you can do and then it just gets worse. from Max and to some extent also from cause is it's the freedom of the stroke that makes the painting. You know, I have a disease which makes me shake a little and. It's a it's a kind of disorder of motion. The more conscious I am, the more the disease, the disease happens in the unconscious, in the non paying attention. How often when we pay attention, we pay attention in a way which is comparative, rather than we go.

[16:20]

There's a lot of self consciousness in that. His training goes from being unconscious to self-conscious to just conscious. When you first learn to cut a carrot, you don't know how to do it. So you just said, now I'm lowering the knife on the carrot. Now I'm lifting it up. Now I'm lowering it. There's a lot of I in there. But if you see the way Ed Brown cuts a carrot, you can't think as fast as that carrot gets cut. hand consciousness has taken over, his body consciousness. So the disease I have actually is forcing me to be as conscious as I can be.

[17:27]

Because if I'm not, the disease takes over. So that's a big help. If I was left to my own druthers, I might not. But to be able to see everything as, wow, and I can do that a little better. Both of those are helpful. It says, realization is effort without desire. Effort without desire. Clear water all the way to the bottom.

[18:30]

A fish swims like a fish. The sky throughout, a bird flies like a bird. Now there may be fish that need to take fishing lessons. And birds that they take. Flying lessons. When you study to do an art, you do it for a long period of time, slowly. So that it comes into your body, not just your mind. Just as the hand cuts the carrots. So what I wish for you all is to see the just so-ness of things, but not make it an excuse to not try.

[19:48]

Real effort is necessary. But our longing on to it. It would defile it if it could. So the first thing is to practice. Now, all of you may have a different association with practices. The second thing is to practice. And the third thing is to practice. is to bring all of our consciousness to things, not just our mind, not just our body, not just our heart. When we do Zazen, each part of us should be doing Zazen. The mudra doesn't need to lean on their lap or use the arms.

[20:56]

Your hands have their own energy. Same thing with your knees. So even though we don't talk about realization so much, we seem to talk a lot about practice. Which is just a reminder. What are you doing? How are you doing? What is doing you? When you just do a stroke, there's just a stroke.

[22:05]

It's just the energy of the stroke. If you try to execute something, it may be a good likeness, but it may not have the power and energy of the freedom of the stroke. And of course, it's possible to put energy into any stroke, any line. It's possible. If you're an artist, if you do the artist because you get a gas out of doing it, it can't go wrong. If you're an artist and you want to be a professional artist and get paid for it, if you get paid for it or not, it's already lost its heart.

[23:15]

Because you might be unsuccessful at it if you do it just for the love of it. It's all success. And the same thing is true of Zen practice. I'm going to tell you a secret. It's for doing it itself. It's for meeting the people who do the same thing. It's for encouraging. Just seeing things as they are. Now, we have a group of people here from leapings school. Could you raise your hands? That's great. Well, we get some people from Stanford come sometimes. Same thing in class.

[24:19]

And they all want to know what you get from it. What's the bottom line? It's not accidental that they're Stanford students. They go to school to get a degree, to go to a better school, to get a job, to get a better job, to retire early. And then I guess that's it. Sure, people from Li Ping school are a little different. Not that you enjoy every moment of school. But. Each thing is its own reward. Each breath is its own reward. You don't need to get something else. It's all here.

[25:23]

need to get some something else, you should try to get something else. But the thing you may get is a degree or a fancy house or a nice tombstone. But if your heart isn't in it, if it's always looking for something else, In school we may be poor. But we enjoy ourselves. And we help other people to enjoy themselves. To enjoy the simple thing of drinking a cup of tea. That's pretty good.

[26:26]

Or if you come into a lecture hall. to enjoy sitting in the lecture hall, whether the lecture is any good or not. So many of you seem to be enjoying yourselves, your practice. If you don't enjoy yourself, it doesn't mean you're not practicing. Some parts of ourselves need some discouragement. But even when you're having a difficult time, you can appreciate what you're learning.

[27:33]

You appreciate the people you've practiced with for a long time. You know their faults pretty well and they know yours pretty well. But it's not so important. You know if you ever need help, they'll be there. So if you need one other thing, the side practice, which I don't know how many numbers he has practicing. It's to be kind. It's to be kind to yourself. If you have low self esteem, you need to be kind to yourself. To be kind to others. We have a year-end letter which a number of us take people and write notes to them.

[28:51]

Just reconnecting with them and reminding them that we're here for donations. But I was, and I said I would come, but I was in the middle of hanging my show and I had to mount, I had to have all the art mounted, et cetera. I stopped by and said, so people can give me letters to write, but I don't have too much time. And then someone whose job it is to remind people reminded me. And I almost got upset. But I said, ah, she's doing her job and I'm doing my job. So do not get too caught up in your program.

[30:00]

Because practice is about deprogramming. So that you can have real freedom. Real freedom is not what you think it is. Freedom is eating the whole basket, not just eating some of it. OK, so have a good day. Enjoy what you're doing. Don't have too many alternating plans about what you're going to do so that you're not where you are.

[31:07]

Be kind to yourself. You may have learned how to bow. And have a great day. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our programs are made possible by the donations we receive. Please help us to continue to realize and actualize the practice of giving by offering your financial support. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[31:42]

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