Yo Jin Jin Mimyo No Wa Yagu Sen Man Gon Yo Ayo Kotor Kadashi Wa Re Mat Ken Thank you. [...] An unsurpassed, penetrating and perfect dharma is rarely met with even a hundred thousand million kalpas.

[02:11]

Having it to see and listen to, to remember and accept, I vow to taste the truth of the Tathagata's words. evening. I take it you can hear me. Welcome, friends, to tonight's Shuso Dharma Talk. Are any of you here for the first time? Well, welcome. Welcome. Welcome to Hosinji Temple, which means Beginner's Mind Temple. Are you guys hearing a feedback too? How close is the mic to your mouth? I'll put it close.

[03:14]

Sure. Can I bend it? Okay. Is that better? Is that better? So the Shuso talk is a talk that is given by the head student, which is the role that I'm in, for the practice period. Does that sound better? Okay. I'll do that, yeah. In fact, I think the last time I was giving a Shuso talk, it kind of hit me afterwards that, particularly for people who haven't been to one of these before, You may not realize that the person in this role is learning to do this process. And it might be good for me to just kind of let you know that. In fact, I thought I might make like a little sign here that says hashtag not a Zen teacher.

[04:20]

I'll just put that right there just to keep that in mind. Is that right side up? Yeah, other ones that came to mind were like, you know, student talker, or like maybe I could wear a vest that was like, you know, when you have those animals that are in training, like don't pet. So, yeah. My name is Tim O'Connor Frazier, and my Dharma name is Gyokuto Itoku, which... In English is Jade Lantern, Solemn Virtue. I'd like to thank my teacher, Christina, for leading our practice period. This practice period is about awake body, awake mind. And I'm grateful for the topic. I'm grateful for the gift of being able to practice with you here in the way that you've been leading this practice period.

[05:26]

It's been wonderful, so thank you for that. One of the aspects of this practice, Mary, being about awake body is, so a couple weeks ago, I strained my neck and my back, and I was kind of incapacitated in certain ways, and so I had the experience of just like, oh, the body is speaking to me, and it's like I need to address it. It was also a karmic practice, because I knew when I came into the practice period that I work at a computer, and so I needed to probably stand up and do a lot of work. And for whatever reason, I thought I could get through it without that. And so I did not create a stand-up work situation, and that came back to me. Fortunately, I'm healing. I'm feeling much better now, and I have a stand-up work situation. And one of the things that I've learned just in preparing for this talk is that I can't write standing up.

[06:33]

It's one of those things. I tried to write this talk while standing at a stand-up desk, and it wasn't actually something I can do. Until today, I realized, maybe I should sit down. And the body was able to write once I was able to sit down. So that was kind of an amazing experience. And I... I credit the practice period for kind of making me aware of that. So thank you for that. I ended up sharing that with other people. And they're like, yeah, I've noticed that too. So it was a reinforcement of that experience. During my Way Seeking Mind talk a few weeks ago, I just want to bring this up because I mentioned working in my family's business. And in hindsight, I feel like I didn't express my gratitude for my parents. And I just want to make sure that I put it out there. They've always done their best to take care of everyone around them, and especially their children.

[07:42]

And so to say that it's complicated, our relationship is complicated, is like Dogen saying that the ocean looks circular. It's more than complicated, and I'm just grateful for their love and support. And on the topic of gratitude, I want to thank my great little family, my wife and son and my dog, for continuing to support me to be here. It's not easy for any of us to be apart for these seven weeks, and so with three more to go, and I love them so much, and I miss them. And it's like a part of me, a big part of me, isn't here. And so I'm counting the days until we return, and I'm staying put as long as I can. And while I'm still on the topic of gratitude, I just want to thank all of you, both the people here in this room, the sangha here, also those who are listening wherever you are in the online practice period.

[08:49]

I have the perspective of being here for five years, that was about 12 years ago, and then leaving and coming back. And that perspective has given me a really broader sense of what this sangha is like. It's a living, breathing, changing, embodying group of people who are studying the way. And it goes way back in time, and it's going to continue going forward in time. And the mind that comes up, the thought that comes up is Buddhas and ancestors of old, or as we, we in the future shall be Buddhas and ancestors. So a big part of my gratitude is just for all of you in supporting each other and myself. And so while it is this season for giving thanks, and acknowledging and expressing gratitude, I also make this a daily practice.

[09:51]

It started for me when I heard the talk given by Abbott Steve in 2013 at Green Gulch Farm. The talk was entitled Gratitude, and I'm sure many of you have heard it. It was a talk he gave about two months before passing away. And... That talk opened up a fundamental practice in my life at the time. I was about six years out of Zen Center in the householder life, what we call householder life. There's life in the temple, and then there's life outside of the temple. We sometimes refer to that as householder life. And so for those of you who don't know this talk, I'll share a little bit about it. shared that he had this practice of gratitude where when he first wakes up, he said, for some years, I have been doing a practice of waking up with gratitude.

[10:57]

First thing, sitting up at the edge of the bed and putting my hands together and just saying the word gratitude. And then it's an open question for what? And whatever comes up in my experience is that for which I am grateful to have this meeting. Whatever it is, is who I am. Whatever it is, is supporting me and this life and is completely beyond judgment or preference. That was how he started that talk. And I... I recommend listening to the whole thing. It's on sfcc.org, the new sfcc.org, which is a beautiful new website. In my experience, starting the day, each day, with this simple practice immediately puts me in touch with my heart, my heart-mind, in a positive and connecting direction.

[12:10]

I'll wake up, just as Abbot Steve described, and I'll invite gratitude and then see what comes. And it's a deep place, whatever comes up. There may be patterns. Sometimes it may be a similar thing comes up, but sometimes and oftentimes, actually, I'm surprised by what surfaces. And then I take that with me as I enter the into the day. Like I said, it's a positive experience. It connects me with that aspect of myself. And then I go and I see my wife, I see my son, I talk to customers, but I started the day with this practice. I'd actually like to invite you to do that with me for a moment, if you don't mind. You don't have to do this.

[13:14]

It's an invitation. If you don't feel comfortable, please don't feel like you need to take it up. But if you don't mind, if you're open to it, please just close your eyes and bring your hands together and take a deep breath and say gratitude. Just see if something surfaces for you at this moment. Thank you. Maybe nothing came for you right now, but I would invite you to try that practice. For me, it's a profound and simple practice, and it has an effect on me and everyone I meet. I find it to be a true heart practice. At that point in my life, I think I'd lost touch with most of the formal aspects of my practice life.

[14:19]

I'd been away, like I said, for about six years. In that six years, Sharky, Melinda, and I had moved about six times, including for about a few months where we were without a house or without a home. And thanks to Christina and her partner, Melinda and I had some habits of relationship practice that helped us in our life, but I had little else in the way of intentional practice or formal practice, and then this talk came into my life. It was a simple practice of opening to gratitude, and it was like a breath of fresh air. It reignited an aspect of my practice that was kind of smoldering. And so within a few months of that experience, actually, I started my first sitting group in Napa Valley. And I don't know if they're connected, but I'm pretty sure they are.

[15:25]

It is definitely what happened. And so it's, and this is a theme that I'm going to talk about tonight, is how practices like this spread. So we have, as part of this practice period, we have the people that are here in this building. We also have an online component. And so we have the opportunity here to get to know each other just passing in the halls and through the Shusotis, which I hope if you haven't already taken a chance to do, there's three more. Thank you. The Benji knows. And then we have our meals together, and these are ways in which we practice together. And then there's this whole mahasanga, this group of people who are connecting to us online. And Christina, they watch the classes that we have, they listen to the Dharma talks that we offer, and they're extremely intent on...

[16:35]

engaging in the practice. And last night, Christina and I had two back-to-back, hour-long meetings with people in the online community. And these folks would share their stories of how the practices that Christina has offered in this practice period. For instance, the one, the very specific one, of finding a corner of your life and practicing no trace. Leaving No Trace, and how that practice has started to spread to other parts of their lives and the people around them and into their relationships. And in sharing those stories, it came back to us. I mean, there was just some amazing stories here. One story of somebody who his daughter was... Like, what are you doing when you go downstairs and you talk to the computer?

[17:36]

And he said, well, you know, he kind of described what was happening. And, you know, he said, if you'd like to sit with me, you know, we could do that. And from the way he described it, it sounded like a new way for him to connect with his daughter and share that time together. And so, you know, this kind of... it creates a virtuous circle of beneficial practices that amplifies itself. Christina offers this teaching, this recommendation, this suggestion. Somebody takes it up. They practice it. It spreads. They share that story back to us. It inspires us. It nourishes us. So bringing our bodies into this practice as the people... there do as we do every day, puts us in a caring relationship with ourselves and everyone and everything around us. It encourages our way-seeking heart, which is always there.

[18:39]

It's just not always cultivated. There was something that Ed said near the end of the Q&A on Saturday. I didn't have my notebook with me, and so I'm paraphrasing, and I actually didn't ask Nancy about this, but she said it in public, so I'll go ahead and share the story. So Ed had been traveling to Japan, and he'd come back, and Nancy had this question about long-term relationship practice, about his marriage, and what he'd learned in his practice, and how it is to be in these long-term relationships. And he answered a little bit about that. And then she asked him, well, what was it like with Suzuki Roshi? What did he teach you about being in a relationship? And what I heard, and like I said, I didn't have my notes. This is my notebook. So what I remember hearing was him saying, Zen is about how to love. And this got me to thinking about how love is expressed through our practice.

[19:45]

I actually can't separate love from our practice. For me, they're completely intertwined. How I relate to everyone. And I'm not talking about romantic love. I mean, that's maybe in there somewhere. But I'm talking about big love. I'm talking about the love that is for everyone and everything. The deepest, broadest way that we consider ourselves. in everyone and everyone in ourselves. When we ask the question, how do I take care of this? How do I save this being? How do I walk through this Dharma gate? I've taken the practice of walking through the... community and just looking at people and just feeling how much I love each person I see.

[20:47]

And it's just, it's a heart connection. I feel completely available to every person that's here. And I encourage you to try that out too. How is it for you to walk through the temple and look and just experience that person as a person that you love? How is that? We call this place Beginner's Mind Temple, Hoshinji. The shin in Hoshinji isn't just mind. In fact, the character also means heart. So we translate shin time and time again to be mind, but it also means heart. And I wonder, do you relate to your mind in the same way as you relate to your heart? How does it feel to retranslate this very mind is Buddha to this very heart is Buddha?

[21:54]

This very heart is Buddha. Or this ordinary mind is the way to, or rather, ordinary heart is the way. What is it to have a beginner's heart? What if we called this place beginner's heart temple? What are the possibilities in a beginner's heart? I actually think that we learn a lot about heart practice quite deeply here, even though the sign on the door says beginner's mind. And every aspect of our practice, how we relate to objects, how we relate to each other, the meeting at the bottom of the bow is an expression of heart.

[22:58]

During my exiting student ceremony, Paul asked me, what will you take with you? I don't remember what I said. I don't know if I said something kind of snarky or zeny, like everything or nothing. Did I say whatever I could fit in the back of my Civic? I don't remember, actually. But tonight, I would like to say that in hindsight, I took Zen heart with me. The practice, the heart of Zen practice is what carried me forward. During lunch that day, Paul said to me, don't forget to sit down when you eat. And that's something I remember every time I'm standing in the kitchen eating my lunch. And I kind of justify it because I sit all day. So standing and eating maybe is appropriate response. So the spirit of supporting each other by taking practices

[24:14]

that embody the heart of Zen, these practices that we do every day here in the temple. There are also practices that people do in their daily lives outside of this place. And so I wanted to share some of the expressions of practice that people that don't find themselves in the temple day to day. I decided to go ahead and ask the hive mind, my friends on Facebook, what kinds of practices do they do now that they're in household or life? I'd like to share some of those with you. Because, you know, the vast majority of people aren't here, and the vast majority of people are trying to figure out how do they take care of their lives where they are. And so I just wanted to share some of these. So one friend said, practice... is always in the moment.

[25:14]

So when I have the thought that I should sit more or I should have sat this morning or whatever, that's the exact moment I meditate in the midst of whatever I'm doing. In householder life, I can't afford to wait for 40 minutes or a day long or a seven-day sit because it will never happen. That's what kills meditation practice in lay life, is waiting for what it looks like in the monastery. In lay life, meditation is everywhere, and the mindfulness spell is when my heart-mind is longing for it. The mindfulness spell is when my heart-mind is longing for it. Another friend says, when I'm driving and see a long line of cars going the other direction, stuck in traffic, which often happens on 101 in Sonoma or Marin, while my direction is flowing smoothly, instead of feeling gleeful, I offer meta to the people stuck in traffic, wishing they experienced the same ease of movement I am right now.

[26:37]

And then one more. I have, before I enter the door of our home, I stop at the door and I say aloud, I take refuge in love and meaningful relationships, beginning with my relationship with my wife. I aspire to create opportunities for strengthening our connection in each moment. So I have more, but I'm going to stop there as I... I just love these expressions of way-seeking art. I'm so grateful, by the way, for all of my friends who decided to answer that Facebook post, and there are more than I can share. But a lot of these friends were people who used to live here, used to be in this room sitting on these cushions years ago. And yeah, so that's a trip. So yeah, these friends are creatively remixing.

[27:46]

Hello, Vicki. Are creatively remixing their Zen practice into their household or life. And they're sharing their practice in a way that encourages all of us. And it's just like I said, there's this virtuous circle of positive, beneficial feedback. So lay practice, householder practice is heart practice. How do we meet this practice? How do we stay awake? And for me, it seems like picking something up, as Christina has offered. Start small. Find some place in your life where you can tend to it. Being able to do that and keep going. Make that a continuous practice. We talk about, and a lot of these friends also sit, you know, it's something that is included in that, but the continuous practice, the returning to it, making it part of your life, and then seeing how it goes.

[28:59]

I feel like one of the things that I've received... particularly in a teaching with Christina, has been to take these little experiments and try them out, see how it goes. And so I would like to invite you to join me in a little experiment. I'm about to end my talk, and I'm going to do something different than I have in my past talks. So my past experience of being here giving talks has been that I finish, we bow out, I head up to my room, and then I eat this kind of... void, this place of just left with my thoughts. And it can be kind of a dark and ruminating experience. And so what I'd like to do is after I'm done and after we all bow, I'm going to go into that room and I'm going to stand there. And if you'd like to bow to me before you go, I invite you to do that. And I would like to see how that experience is.

[30:01]

So please, if you're so inclined. Join me for that. I think I'm done here. Are there any questions? Brent? What is a Zen teacher? I don't know. I know who my teacher is, and it's a teacher that opens your mind, that helps you to see yourself, that encourages your practice. Oh, may it be so.

[31:04]

I don't know that they're different. I relate to them differently. I had this experience of when this thought came to me. I've always thought of the koan, this very mind is Buddha, as kind of like... Like a wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Like, not really. You know, like, not this mind. I know this mind. This mind is not a Buddha, right? And I'm pointing at my head, right? Because I think of my mind as being in my head. And I think of my heart as being in my chest. But, like, you know, this is all one. And so, you know, and Christina has guided us through the understanding of different elements of the brain and things like this. And we see all of this is, you know, working together. And it does turn something to think about. Like I think about my heart, and I think about what my heart's been through in this life.

[32:31]

And in some ways, my mind has pulled it around, if I'm using these distinctions. It's had goals, it's had ideas, it's objectified things, myself included. And so my heart, I kind of feel like my heart's just like, this kind of goes along. and just tries to do its best to meet that moment. And it gets broken. So a broken heart is painful and can last a long time. And so to imagine taking care of this heart as a Buddha... I mean, you know, it's like, oh, actually, I could sign up for that. You know, like, I want to do that. Thinking about this mind as Buddha, that's harder for me to get to. So anyway, that's kind of what comes up to me. And I feel like when we enter this place, we kind of, we go through the process of kind of taking off those habitual ways and taking up a new way of being.

[33:35]

And to me, that's more than mind. somebody who's suffering and I have compassion for his love. It doesn't matter if he's actually suffering, I can still love him. And it just sort of was opening my mind too about how nice it would be to have that kind of love just there.

[34:43]

And perhaps that's what Suzuki Roshi Yeah, I think I appreciate your expression. Thank you so much. Yeah. Buddha love. human love and Buddha love? How to teach the love? Well, what comes up for me is I think about my earliest experiences of love are gonna be my family experiences of love.

[35:44]

and then overlay that with years of listening to music and watching movies and having different ideas of love and having that concept of love get very confused around perception of self and other, status, these kinds of things, and trying to find our way back to seeing the oneness and diversity. of our coexistence. And so that oneness and diversity, those things together, to me, is the expression of Buddha's love. And it exists in all of us, and it exists... through the sangha, through the world, and not just through people.

[36:50]

It's with objects. It's with animals. It's with the universe. How's that sound? Just remember. Well, I think we're about there. Thank you all. I hope you have a good night. I want to thank the Benji for all your support. Thank you. Our intention equally extends to...

[37:51]

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