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go to feel bad about it

whoa whoa center
well done a better
have you got it
how could you forget my wife

it seems that any better
as you just go
the that's nothing
get together
i can put your i can project my voice
sometimes i get of attach to using speaker systems and guy nice but
i can go
hurry back and here was a little bit of a homemade said they can you live with that
can have it over there who were released so far away
so critical
return my head
for that world
they were carry that talk to work
after the crusher
china to look
so ma'am
i'm very happy to be at tassajara
and there are many reasons i'm happy to be here one of the reasons i'm happy to be here is and here if my son i have a seven year old son i mean something you seen the acquit him and isn't a second time this summer that i spend time with him in a buddhist monastery buddhist meditation center
and it's put on my mind our little bit what it means to bring my side to reduce time for my rights important for me when of well have in mind and bringing in here
and down and what if any our guidance or direction i can ever give him as a as his father and known and if how to get guidance from the teachings of buddha
so the summer i remembered left and the buddha had a son
it's an interesting most people when they think about the buddha and his family member that the broader left his family when his son was a dog world thursday is a historic er the buddha or went and made one last look at a son while i the mother was sleeping and then
left town
yeah last oranges valencia life is seeking life looking for enlightenment
when you for six years after six years he obtained his awakening
and then on he means way back after his awakening he made his way back to his hometown
and so that time to reach time ah his son was seven years old
now know his mouth the murderer a seemingly were still annoyed
and i wouldn't come to see the buddha that dad the sun went to see him maybe them i was sent him but now because you're still annoyed she said to her son in a somewhat father ask him for
your inheritance now the bar was the son of a king survey inheritance would have been somehow got to be continued in there well line
but the bar was now i'm convinced and given up his personal crunchier quality
so he had nothing of that to give
but as a student girls the sign his name is missouri hua
when up to the buddha
and certain him out
you have a very pleasant shadow
it's a very strange thing to say to your father haven't seen if it off
that's the greatest error i understand the story is that when you need someone who's very honored movie or an indian setting you have a special kind of language where of talking to them and it's a real is correct and you're going to talk to directly adopt them or to them so you me indirectly by a shadow and he said you know you you really spec
sure there's no special but usually pleasant to be with you
a much probably robot something unusual
isn't got up and walked away
that's the story but if i read other situations where abroad in a similar thing the for attempted iraq war and to get up from work array when people have become enamored with him
and somehow that was his response to being a nabard infatuated to his bloody or charisma now whatever
and so his son followed him
and he said please give me my inheritance
into the bottom turn to shine putra and he was kind of like his right hand man
right and monk
and he said
ordain him
sarah hoorah was ordained at the age seven as in how this monk
what that meant isn't even though the broader had left his family and wasn't part of his son's life the first seven years of the of the son's life
for the rest of the sun is going up for whom i was under the care of his father
and so on the sense that further was the primary parents because the the mother was no longer your no i don't know if she kind of disappears from the story
as far as i know
and so then we could ask what kind of parent was the buddha how did a father his own son
however didn't have a lot of surviving records of this and it seems that the historical interest in these kinds of stories mostly interested in these kind of stories was not so great on the of those people have who served this their records in the best life and his teachings for i didn't consult your better than nesting
some events with at curve was bad to wish it to a sunday
and in particular the are three discourses for the buddha a specific for teaching your son
and it was interesting but these two discourses isn't they represent through for period of ages in his sons growing up
and so i'm concerned that these times the broadest is getting teachings that are a preference for the each age for each phones of the sons growing up
an innocence you can see either i say that five motorists recognizing a developed developer developmental model for how list children grow up they crafted about mentally and still just yeah no but the barossa had developed mental model for adults also engaged in the buddhist path
and it's also turns out that these through those courses are represent the three divisions are british the classic buddhist training which you see lot somebody and fresh now yes virtue or ethics training in ethics the training in meditation and in a developer
int then then the training and wisdom and liberation to through trainings
the first discourse
the tradition says occurred when mahala was either seven or eleven somewhere in that maybe age range so if you were trouble young still
if needed you understand as you go through the discourse that what happened before i discourse began before this event is recorded his young hurler has told a lie
maybe not so unusual for a young kid
so the buddha that evening
walks over to have a like to stay
and as isn't a custom when someone comes a guests com especially in the or glass cost to where you are having a country where people walk barefoot and it's very dusty as you get a bottle of wine or so they can rush their feet
server and gave the borough water to buddha rushed his feet and then the would have sat down and how that for a water and from on the still had a little bit or water in it
and then he said to her hula
do you seen her in our that was left in this role
and i said yes
oh that is and someone who is not ashamed of telling a deliberate lie
the darling of a spiritual life is as little less little water letting us borrow
so i imagined that to hurl at this point cups he's been caught red-handed are cut
and never build a bomb threat or more than away and he says he shows the birthday antiviral and he says provera year old of disparate your life of someone from deliberately lies he's thrown away like i've thrown away this water
and then he turns the bar upside down
and he says that very spiritual life of someone has taught us a little bit ly is turned upside down like a spot
we look upon it so he thinks the barrel and that is including empty of water to pieces similar the sparrows empty
and the same way dispatch arrived for someone who tells to deliver to both lie is empty
so you're making a point about the value of the of not flying delivers man
and the i was on to say that
anyone who's not ashamed of telling a deliberate lie is capable of breaking any transgression
breaking any precepts that guy and truthfulness is so fundamental the spiritual refer to life fast on transgressing unions is one thing as an athlete half of the not rhyme sets up the possibility for someone doing other things other transgressions
now when i'm not as part of the story i'm reminded for burnett was raised in a warrior caste
he wasn't exactly in their new rollercoaster for father and there was a normal tradition as in many countries of the etiquette of warriors and they had a certain level of
oh and of pride is the right word but to invited dignity of pride of of uprightness
that's very important your honor they've caught your card of your honours know important for such people getting barbuda to try to stress the importance of that line to be ethical to assign whereas not doing it to around here too
diminish the life of the sun but normally will try to enhance it to develop it and to support him and being an upright
he says
honorable person
my brother went on and seven first a purpose of a mirror
she's kind of the having you can they kind of like example maybe a child could understand what's the purpose of near
and i said it's for reflection
and the buddha said in the same way
the former do anything
when are you going to speak it do it or think it
he should reflect about what you're about to do you should reflect think about it for the the person's going to is for the benefit for the affliction
of yourself or others for both
any efforts because in a car carson reflections if it's going to cause harm for anybody else then don't do it
bush animals said national were doing something right or doing something you should also be reflecting shot be mindful
as reflect on this way that i'm doing this is this causing going to cause harm
twenty one including yourself firms in a car be for the benefit of self and others
if it's going to cause harm for anyone
then stop doing it
and then he said
after you've done something
you should reflect about what you just did
so before during and after racks you should be mindful and reflective the watching down and after the done something you should also consider
best now more evidence of the results is this are than for the benefit for for the harm
yourself for for others
an effort for the if is for
if it caused harm
when you need to go and confess it tell a teacher for someone or a fellow practitioner and in domestic life with to confess it just simply recognize it for yourself but you need to do something about it this is called confession you say it is
lean very powerful but confession that acknowledgement we are up to someone else helps us to step aside for this identify murphy done it kind of reinforces the idea yes i don't really like what i've done and i'm not going to stand behind it and i'm going to try to do better in the future
so this first star discourse his son was young the i was trying to pass on ethical values
the hoover became a teenager
maybe fourteen
and in this story
well her and the border going out for arms monastics corrupt every wine to get to arms from the village
and so we're sitting out and the british and front in the was behind
bravura had a thought the navy that france was even manifested in how he carried himself
in person for something like this study you know the for her it was of the buddha the brother was supposed to been a very beautiful very very striking person and both interesting as charisma his presence is purity but also physically and even before i was in life and people were struck by kind of his presence and who me
was this bizarre
and now
and marilla was working right behind buddha
can you know i'm kind of look like him
you know maybe kind of packed up his chest little girl and kind of like you know kind of proud and kind of i'm also kind of like kind of say
celebrate i stopped and turned around and said to everyone
physical a physical characteristic
he for many rupa
should do i understand or viewed in the following way
des thus is not mine
this is not who i am
this is not self
not knowing myself for line
in the says only physical form
and the british has no
no feelings nor perceptions now mental formations
the inner mental life intentions dispositions and consciousness should not be seen as line
as who i am and at this is
hmm this is myself
and a was point for whoever decides says himself it is not appropriate for me to go out with a and arms today since i've just been admonished
you get caught him notice that he was having this crowd thoughts about it
have you looked this good of parents who are the nominees it's that they said things were to to become well for himself
you know
and now
admonished for her just went home
and he sat under a tree
and the story continues but it would a backdrop to this three things in the buddha said don't see things as mean myself in mine
first represents through very important forms of clanging
grasping that buddhism has meant to be an antidote for
and the first is the kerning or grasp room to possession things as mrs mine
and we do that with our possessions redirect to per aspects of ourselves this is the this is mine
this is my here this is my clothes this is my possessions and they were i've of mine moment of recession that's a very interesting one because it is only a construct of the mind something with them it's an activity or their minds and then we do with lined the fall of us left here this evening
the different surest and we came with our shoes wouldn't care
our turn has to do with ideas about these are mine
so there's something in the tendency to grabbed onto this is mine which can cause a lot of suffering
there's a beautiful story of suzuki rushing
i and a picture of this means just as interested in this setting this coming with a pair of glasses
been like this and he says
things are not my glasses the genera about my tired eyes so if you let me use them
conventionally would say same as his glasses but he wasn't seen as mine
the second to creating is a crumbling of conceit and has to deal with comparing ourselves to others
this is who i am i'm a role in some way or other
when i was thirteen the summer writing sixty seven i lived in italy a small provincial town in italy and i'll tell you i was a careless kid in town i hadn't longest hair and i blue jeans
the hot king of town
and every now and strutting around
and then the end of the summer and summer of sixty seven i went back to los angeles and unbeknown to me a lot it happened in california and sixty seven that center
and i went back to squirrel
i did not have the longest hair and town anymore in fact my here was really short compared to what happened over the summer and they spend lots time to report my here so we get longer and i was had blue jeans just having bluejeans was brine
my friends they had taken a blue jeans and put him in the washing machine thirty times the bleach and some people put their genes apple the roads to on within
and anything to make and torn up and for an acting and certainly i was not so cruel want nothing that happened was that i cross the atlantic and as compare myself to different people it draws in the comparison and i felt great for down it turns out a lot
lot of suffering or the sense of self has to do is compare it with thinking comparing ourselves to others comparing are all kinds of things anything that are people who have probably said a great compact and capacity to compare and evaluate themselves in relation to other people and our ideals and stuff while suffering ground that because his birth
tying your son imagine telling a fourteen year old i don't bother comparing yourself to others
that's proved great
and then the third grasping is the grasping on abuse and this is where are you have a know about what the nature of the selfish cassie tessa dahl for something as you work with you
era of self has to do with kind
philosophical the universal idea this is what it means to be a self so the south is pure consciousness isn't view
while the surf ourselves are inherently sinful that's a view but it serves for ourselves inherently are good for pure isn't blue from kind of philosophical work so temperamental grasp to blouse like i also a simple but will don't need or want to cure him of knowledge
something that's a viewer about the fundamental truly universal aspect of the self
and the buddha said don't take any of these things as self
so i was taken during a lot of the things that a teenager spends a lot of time concerned about me myself and nine
and you might show what might be therapists in the room and might be horrified challenge a gm financial condition acquiring a sense of identity and south and that's so much part of growing up
what's interesting is the second half of the discourse rather british says
i was trying to tell the story itself for her as you never that a vanished as we sat under a tree
and shy putra so i'm sitting there and said to rahul
you should never take
unlimited following a breath to breath meditation
and small neighborhood had never gotten any instruction in addition before because when an came back later in the day know have i went to the buddha and said that
how do i meditate on the best but i do that
to the birth name is he gave instructions
but the first of the word for us to cold for a son and image kind of like a visualization perhaps an image of how to harm yourself when you're gonna meditate
so you know sometimes in the go the people who are good meditation instruction to have the intention imagine yourself like a mouthful the stable on for a strong and well sometimes imagine your mind like a like a still alpine lake different image images like to help gonna get the small or this so they don't have a son throat
have images for how to are created a level of equanimity or acceptance or balance nine every activity for doing meditation practice
the first was he said establishing meditation
like the earth pmi for a great big birth star on earth because the earth is not troubled
by the pleasant and unpleasant things that that people do to it that the world is made you very much
right if if was spread on the earth spirit doesn't mind can prepare on the earth the earth doesn't mind establish yourself back to the earth that is untroubled by the president and thousand things to come
the nana buddha best mcguinness there's being solid foundation for the meditation practice and and abroad and pursuant to get an image each of them gets lighter and lighter more spacious but boston is from a foundation for the earth and then he says establish yourself in meditation
one part water
like rohrer is untroubled by the pleasant unpleasant things that can so like your mind like water the the pleasant unpleasant thing viewings one trouble you and won't stick in your mind
establishing meditation like fire
same questions or same establishment meditation like air
you can throw all kinds of things into the air here it doesn't mind
and then establish meditation like space even lighter and more spacious than year
he says sometimes
my thoughts be like clouds drifting an endless sky
very spacious open expansive
let's remind me that way so whatever happens in meditation pleasant or unpleasant it's likely your drift through like it's a great space to hold it so this a buddhist first instructions in meditation for his son
when he went on and gave him told them to practice loving kindness meditation
the practice of developing a friendly goodwill
then you get a couple of instructions and then proceeded to give us a sign instructions in breath meditation so if you know about this country to tradition and taught him the sixteen stages or breath meditation that on a pile of sati
and some a to aramis about afghanistan this particularly of using the breath jews your national a breath meditation get concentrated and develop
develop joy delight happiness rapture kenya being as you do some meditation
and that's part of a stepping stone to and deeper deeper meditations to go through a and meditation there's a tremendous feeling of wellbeing
so that is what the buddha offered to his teenage son as an alternative to me myself a line instead of south building and trading is a strong sense of self in africa were crude a strong inner life when there's a strong sense of inner well being strong capacity equanimity and back
balance this group of qualities inside develop mouse that's when she be doing
so downtown
the next discourse and the of us when that remember was about twenty
the boat have spent his teenage years in training and in fact the buddha carved the hula the for most of those who train ticket pretty serious about training he was a minute he was a monkey trying hard
and at some point the buddha discerned that his son was ready to receive the is teaching
and i was reading to kind of what is art is is worse than i often i of awakening
and so i took her son he had come with me and heard about hunting in the roads the latest sad deeper into the woods into the forest to a girl we stand on the name of the girl of color blind man's growth right now the sal trees is yonge trees that the majestic trees that are
that he had an india
a trials that i the barra said once if tries people the soft trees would be enlightened get such high respect for this particular trees and there is huge trees and they these really call this a lot that stuck out sides from clip above the ground the current
now a bit different front practices like buttresses instructor to an article i was coming out
and spanish a bump into the words with huge trees by google redwoods and in a grove of trees you can imagine two minutes very important very took him the natural setting because of that the bro is going to teach kitchen has to do with identity
and waterproofs you know new sense of staff room or are the perspective and back the concepts of it changes when you're in so many awesome place in nature
so that we took the sun be very still quiet place
and then he proceeded to teach the sun
whichever route to for three more minutes about
someone who is well trained in time of the buddha practice meditation iraq to collect he's never have a lot is a monk he's left out of a lot of attachments lot of things lot of people who are preoccupied with cut off with his lap and down he's like are just a unique appearance
it's because a possessions video of sexual relationships with a lot of things like our and he's been able to do that he's asked about his about and concentrate very well so so much so that's how i could stay in the present moment very precisely his mind didn't could wouldn't have to wonder
snap is another for means you stand in a place for contact happens with reality the mercy of contact with reality if you is due to look at my story last last yesterday boston tomorrow obstructions and fantasy you lose their place of contact
so sort of the like of stay in that closer contact with just a in the spring and hairless places we have the place where we did a nice life in the from and creating abstract structures abstract ideas for what it is for contacting
cinematic is tara disability so the burden guides him coming a guided meditation and he says he says
how is your eye permanent are impermanent
kamara says the eyes impermanence
he's the i reliable
and you should know how to ultimately reliable you know i start can go barb you can use and i e r is not often we rely on i can't rely on it
and the buddha says some form which is impermanent subject to change in someone which is unreliable is it appropriate to take that thing as the sole as the true essential self with who you are going over the serve on essential self is that is permanent and it's reliable
sarah is no i can't take the i can diverse as what about the objects of what the i cease because the same kind of guided meditation to impermanence unreliable what about the perception that arises at the i
the same thing you can't take that as a self but about consciousness
but arrives is with singing but about the fats everything connected in the form of present for that experience of the i cannot be if you cannot find you can take that and i'll probably take out of yourself
then about as the same thing with all the cent stores
so that all other places new and five directly orbiter for version i took that and to look at it arouse won't find itself there are so there
as a most i'm starting to trying to harm and powercore world the i was contract the experience
and rather a cartoon let's say this myself
progress when his rebel does not describe the attention for a gorilla
when rivera became disenchanted is a very powerful worried as early tradition of buddhism he became a distance isn't grab them to be disenchanted because it means you've been enchanted great a spell to begin with became disenchanted with
arbor thing sitting or cocaine as maybe his soul as essential self
that this weren't really that
as it became disenchanted
his heart cooled his passions of authorities clinging his tardiness in his heart is clothing as a top of his heart cool quiet down
and when the novelist and economy has a heart quiet down enough because it wasn't going out and were any con direction to reach and grasp and make something into herself
then the discourse as for hummus heart his mind who came the braided
he can free
and the contrast here is between and anything as a self
and freedom that happens when you start doing that
and for some others lecter have so many attachments that can be sometimes last most tenuous attachment person has this attachment to the self
you can do a manage use those words
at that point where homeless mind was liberating
so ethics
there's a foundation then somebody developing this inner life because the inner sense of are being and stability concentration lovingkindness and then with that is a foundation having a capacity to her wisdom to see clearly and deeply and wasn't it fastens securely
to see me something very profound about the deeply embedded human tendency to be attached to herself
becoming disenchanted with that movement of surfing
letting the heart curl of its passions it's clings
and then at some point the heart or the mind releases itself which is the experience for the tasting of liberation that we will ahead and under the guidance of his father
can i can't imagine a more wonderful thing for a father to offer a son the elaboration
if the boy had spurned a prince and become a king he couldn't do in his son
lots serve wonderful palaces chariots
what kinds of to of things
but the photo of britain staying as a king
discover the possibility of freedom integration and very deep abiding peace and to be able to grow were kind of happiness and peace to check your child must be why the greatest things
so i bring my santa tassajara with the hopes
read all the mistakes i make his appearance
you know where to go
two to
thank you