This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good evening. Sometimes I say that Zen practice is about falling down and getting up. but I've got a new one for tonight. Zen practice is about changing. It's about opening your heart. It's about developing your character. It's about transformation. Transformation is a big word and it sounds, wow. But transformation is very tiny often. The tinier the transformation, the better sometimes.

[01:03]

If you change in a big way, nobody can see who you were. If you change in a little way, there's a continuity. Sometimes we make a big deal about Zen and it's about your understanding, it's about enlightenment, it's about... your position, it's about... But it's not really about those things so much. It's not about them, but it's not about those things so much. It's about learning and growing and being available to other people. It's kind of an internal process which has external manifestations.

[02:10]

But it's not a big show. And it's not always pleasant or unpleasant. But it's the Little by little, settling that which is conditioned, opening to the unconditioned, to the uninhabited. By about this time in the practice period, people either become very tired of Dogen or very excited by him.

[03:25]

Whichever one you are, listen to this. Immediately hitting the mark. There are two ways to penetrate body and mind. Studying with the master to hear the teaching and the vocally sitting zazen. Listening to the teaching teachings open up your conscious mind, while sitting zazen is concerned with practice enlightenment. Therefore, if you neglect either of these when entering the Buddha way, you cannot hit the mark. It doesn't mean hitting Mark Lancaster. Everyone has a body and mind. In activity and appearance, its function is either leading or following, courageous or cowardly. To realize Buddha immediately with this body in mind is to hit the mark.

[04:28]

Without changing your usual body in mind, just to follow Buddha's realization is called immediate. It's called hitting the mark. To follow Buddha completely means you do not have your own old views. To hit the mark completely means you have no new nests in which to settle. Those nests. So we evaluate our life in many different ways. How much money we have. How beautiful our girlfriend is. How... Whatever. What a wonderful job we have. But those are kind of external ways of working.

[05:29]

And they have some merit, but not much. But when you notice the people you appreciate, They're not necessarily beautiful. They don't necessarily have high positions. But there's a kind of presence and a kind of courage to them, which encourages you. There are people who you talk to and you feel encouraged. transformation is a lot about courage. Courage to be somebody different than you're used to being. Courage to take a chance.

[06:31]

Courage to do something new. Courage to give up your habits and moods. And we use the term Buddha. It's convenient. But Buddha is not always perfect. Perfect in that He or she makes no mistakes.

[07:36]

Perfect in that. He or she isn't working on something. And of course you have centers of people working on transformation. And that gets more complex because you're trying to transform the center as well as you're trying to transform yourself as well as you're trying to transform the culture. And sometimes you just want change and change is not necessarily what's going on. We're doing a very complex thing here. I think you know that. We're trying to learn about ourselves, help people, keep an institution which encourages people to come and helps them in transformation and within a society that does the same thing.

[08:53]

But we start off as flawed people in a flawed institution, in a flawed culture. So we've got a lot going on. And we make mistakes. Sometimes we like to think of Zen Center as either an evil entity or a perfect entity. It's neither. Sometimes we like to think of people that way, too. Sometimes courage has to do with trusting. Beats me what you trust. But you don't know his doubt. You keep trust as strong as you keep your doubt.

[09:59]

So it's not easy. Category of worship, we had a ceremony for him today and I was thinking of When I was his attendant, I would often spend time with him in airports, because that's where I'd pick them up or drop them off. And one day, I was in the airport with him and with Norman, and I said, there's something about Asian teachers, maybe not so good Asian teachers, that I really appreciate. Western teachers give good examples, which I know from my own life. It's very good. But there's something about Eastern teachers. There's some kind of faith or love or something.

[11:07]

That's what I want to learn. How do I learn that from you? He said, People see Katagiri Roshin, they see him. They don't see the years he spent with his teacher just doing stuff. Just doing things together. Now, I should give a commentary about this, that at that time, many Western teachers, most Western teachers had only been studying 20 or 25 years. And since that time, many Western teachers do that too. It's a matter of time to some extent. But even so, I think there's something about Asian culture which may foster it more. Maybe. And I understood with Kategori Roshi.

[12:10]

I had my job and he had his. His job was to lecture. My job was to see that he got the incense on time. My job was to see that he had everything he needed that I could give him. His job was to be the best teacher he could be. So not being the most perfect person and not the perfect institution and not the perfect society, a lot of stuff comes up. Maybe you've noticed.

[13:16]

And if you have too low esteem of yourself, it's very difficult because you either take the criticism too strong or you resist the criticism because you already need all the positive strokes you can get. You can't see things for what they are. The dramatic entrance. Yes.

[14:31]

Doing the best you can. You think you're like a vending machine. You put the coins in on top and you expect the soda to come out the bottom. So you meditate and you expect that you're going to get some results. And when you don't, you kick the machine. And sometimes we kick ourselves, which is not so good. can't be helped so I think it's very important that we're kind with each other kindness takes many forms and some people can't take kindness it's

[16:02]

too much in the Lotus Sutra there's the Bodhisattva never despised this is an incredible character he never puts down anybody ever can you imagine that? I mean you can imagine not putting somebody down but he doesn't even think it What a great thing to aspire to. So it's the seventh week. I think it's the 49th day or 50th day since Darlene died.

[17:09]

And they put it down on the... It just so happened that I was lecturing that day and they put it down and said if I was going to talk about it. So I guess I better talk about it a little bit. I don't know all about the 49 times 7 weeks. But there is a teaching about it in which you concentrate on one great being. a week. And there's a kind of flow to them which is going to make sense. The first week, we entrust our intention to Budomyo, Bodhisattva of Fierce Protection. We feel very vulnerable, and to have someone who is strong at our back and at the back of our loved ones is very encouraging.

[18:28]

And I think it's sometimes the first shock, you can't get too subtle, the first shock of what happens, of losing someone. The second week is Shakyamuni Buddha, the Buddha of the age, Buddha of now. So you're coming out of it a little bit. You're coming back into your life. And the person you're encouraging is getting over the shock of the transformation. third week, Manja Sri, great wisdom. Third week, you begin to understand what's happening. You try to understand. You try to make sense of the passing of someone. The losing of someone close to you. Trying to make sense of it is it's separated from you.

[19:39]

But you've got to start somewhere. fourth week Samanta Padra great activity great action practice you have the wisdom about it now you're trying to integrate it into your body into your to the whole world integrate it the fifth week is Jizo You know, we have a Jizo character out here. Jizo is bodhisattva or travelers and children. And it's a kind of beloved character. And it's often when there's an accident or something, there's a Jizo figure commemorating it.

[20:41]

fearless protector, bodhisattva. It's also kind of, not only fearless protector, there's something very warm about it. Heart opening. The sixth week is Maitreya Buddha. Great kindness, future Buddha. So you're getting ready to understand that it's gone. Things are changing. First you try to understand it, try to make sense of it. Now you're beginning to understand that things have changed. In the seventh week is Yakshi Nirai, great medicine Buddha, who releases all beings from suffering. The seventh week you get at where it hurts. You let go and encourage the person who's passing to let go.

[21:56]

You've gone through wanting to be protected and held from its loss, realizing that it's Buddha, having some, trying to understand it, trying to integrate it. Fearlessly experiencing it. Realizing that things have already changed. The great medicine Buddha of Medicine Buddha of suffering and transformation.

[23:13]

There's that great coin which is Medicine and disease cure each other. The whole world is medicine. What is the self? Medicine and disease cure each other is, as you know, poisons are often used to cure medicines and medicines are often to cure pet poisons. But it's not that there's something that's poison and something that's not. It's just that everything is connected in a certain way, which impacts each other. So in that kind of medicine, when you take the smallest amount of the disease, is it called? Homeopathy. Homeopathy, thank you. That's the most curative power.

[24:21]

The whole world is medicine. The whole world is both disease and curing. What is the self? What's putting it together? What are you holding out for? This is the middle of the practice period, and it's a dark time and a wet time, and it's a time when one can be discouraged, when you need to get more sleep. And that's all right, but keep pushing on. It's okay if you really need to sleep, it's okay. But don't always sleep. If you're feeling sick, maybe you need to take care of the sickness, or maybe you need to take care of your attitude.

[25:32]

Or maybe both. But to keep an open view of what's going on. And not to, you know, very often people sign up for practice period and they want to do everything and they're really excited about practice period because it's such a complete life. And then they say, why are you making me do this? So don't put it outward. Now people may be pushing you or not being, that's possible, but take responsibility for what you're doing. going to have a skit night in 10 days or so.

[26:39]

Anything could be made target of skit night. Certainly this lecture could be. And that's okay. But don't build new nests. As you're leaping clear of each moment, as you're discovering many things, don't set up another place to settle down in. Have the courage to try to be free. And what is being free? That's somebody asking me during the Shosan ceremony. And I shouted. It's not that that's being free. It just, it cleared the decks for me. And then the person said, the next person said, what does that mean? And I said, some people are afraid on hearing the shout, some people are afraid before the shout, and some people are afraid after the shout.

[27:57]

But there's really nothing to be afraid of in the shout. Of course, maybe you've had that experience with people shouting at you, and I understand it brings up past memories. But being free is to try to leap free of your patterns. And of course, when we try to leap free of our patterns, it shows you that's the pattern we take, it's a similar pattern. If we look closely, we can learn. And I'd like to encourage you now that we're middle to the end of practice period to keep going.

[28:59]

Keep going. Where are you going? I don't know. But keep at it. Take the backward step. What's the backward step? You're already on the bus. Notice what bus you're on instead of rushing to the next bus. someone passes who means a lot to you. That's its own wisdom.

[30:15]

So pretty soon we're going to have Lou's funeral. And I'm looking forward to it in a certain way. I'm saying goodbye and appreciating him. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, please visit sfzc.org and click Giving.

[31:32]

May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[31:35]

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