This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Morning. My name is... Reverend K.Due, Lee and Shutt. Pronouns are he and, sorry, she and her. So I can respond to any of them on any given day. No preference. I want to thank Ni-o-e for the invitation to speak today. And where is she? Oh, okay. I still don't see her. Oh, there you are, in the chair. Okay. Sorry, sorry.

[01:00]

And to Abbas Fu, Biting Abbas Fu, and St. Linda Ruth's own room. Thank you to the central Abbas also for being here today. It is family day. I hear it. And that's good. Given that it's family day, I thought I'd read us a book. Have you read this book? The Missing Piece. Someone has, at least. By Shel Silverstein. I'm not sure how to say his last name. There it is. All right. The Missing Piece. Here's the Missing Piece. It begins with It was a missing piece. And it was not happy.

[02:03]

So it set off in search of its missing piece. And as it rolled, it sang this song. Oh, I'm looking for my missing piece. for my missing piece. Hidey-ho, here I go looking for my missing piece. Sometimes it baked in the sun. But then the cool rain would come down. And sometimes it was frozen by the snow. But then the sun would come and warm it again. And because it was missing a piece, it could not warm very fast.

[03:21]

So it would stop to talk to a worm. You see the worm? Or smell a flower. Where's the flower? Perfect. And sometimes it would pass a beetle. Can you see the beetle? And sometimes the beetle would pass it. Now the beetle's on this side. Yes, right here. And this was the best of all. See the picture? And this was the best of all. And on it went over oceans singing. Oh, I'm looking for my missing piece over land and over seas.

[04:25]

So grease my knees. Grease your knees. And fleece your bees. I don't know what that means. Fleece your bees. Do whatever action you think goes with that. I'm looking for my missing piece. Are you looking for your missing piece? In the grass, perhaps? Through swamps and jungles? What do you think this is? mountains. You can read. Great. What do you think this is if it went up the mountain? Down mountains. Until one day, lo and behold, it sings. I found my missing piece. It sang. I found my missing piece. So what does it do? Grease its knees.

[05:28]

And fleece its bees? I don't know. I'm making this part up. I found my... Wait a minute. Set the peace. Before you go greasing your knees and fleecing your bees, I am not your missing piece. I'm nobody's piece. I am my own piece. And even if I was somebody's missing piece, I don't think I would be yours. Oh. It said sadly. I'm sorry to have bothered you. And on it rolled. I'm not bothered. And found another piece. There's another piece. Hope you find your missing piece.

[06:33]

I found another one, but this one was? Too small. Yeah, you know this story. And then this one was what? Too big. And this one was too sharp. Look, it poked all the way through. And this one was what? Square. Two square. I think it was just square. This one, it seemed to have, oh, sorry. One time, it seemed to have found the missing piece. Another one. But it didn't hold it tightly enough. And lost it. Was this Father's Day? This Father's Day? Okay, this is just like that, so I was a little worried there. Sorry, that was not in the story. Okay.

[07:36]

Any time it held too... Oh, another time it held too tightly. And what happened? And it broke it. You didn't see it? Oh, well, the next page. It broke it. Aww. Oh, yeah, I see your sadness, too. Yeah. And so on and on it rolled. Having adventures. Looks like big adventures, wouldn't you say? And then what happens? Falling into holes. bumping into stone walls. And then one day, it came upon another piece that seemed to be just right.

[08:46]

I'm looking at each other. Can you see it? Hi, it said. Hi, said the piece. Are you someone's missing piece? Not that I know of. Or maybe you want to be your own piece. I can be somebody's and still be my own, said the piece. Well, maybe you don't want to be mine, said it. And the piece says, maybe I do. Maybe we won't fit. So then the piece said, well. And then they tried. Those are the sounds.

[09:51]

As they're trying to fit. And what happens? It fits. It fits perfectly. At last, at last. And away it rolled. And because it was now complete, it rolled faster and faster, faster than it had ever rolled before. So fast, it could not stop to talk to a worm. Or what? smell of flower. You know this story, huh? Do you know this story? Or you can just see the picture. You just know. It's too fast for a butterfly to land. There's a butterfly here.

[10:52]

It's gone already, halfway off the page. But it could sing its happy song. At last it could sing I found my missing piece. And it began to sing. I found my missing geese. I'm not making it. So geese my geese. Oh, my. Now that it was complete, it could not sing at all. Aha, I thought. So that's how it is. So it stopped rolling. And it set the piece down gently. And slowly rolled away.

[12:02]

And it rolled. And as it rolled, it softly sang. Remember? Oh, I'm looking for my missing piece. I'm looking for my missing piece. Heidi, oh, here I go looking for my missing piece. He found a piece and then let it go. Why? Why do you think? You don't know. Anyone else have a thought? You don't know. Maybe because he doesn't want it anymore. Now what was the beginning of the story? What was the beginning of the story?

[13:11]

It was searching for a missing piece. Is that not correct? And then, do you remember, there was a middle part of the story. It's always unhappy, and it went looking. And then there was a point where I find the page. Remember, it was missing a piece, so as it rolled along, it stopped and what? hopped to a worm, smelled a flower, passed a beetle, and sometimes, first it passed the beetle, and then sometime the beetle passed it, and then what did it say? And this was the best time of all. And then it tried and thought it found its peace and then it went on and they didn't fit.

[14:19]

And then it found another one and then it let it go. And then when it let it go, what happened? It searched over and over. Yes. And in the searching though, what does it do? Exactly. And through the land. And it stopped. All right? At times in its search, it stopped. And it was just with the worm, just with the flower, just with the beetle. It even let the beetle pass it. And then it was with the butterfly. Right? The words aren't there. So when... And it fell through the hole. You're right. So then in all these adventures, what do you think the part that... Now you're going into summer, right?

[15:29]

School is over? School is over? Is school over? No. Almost over. Oh, okay. Almost over. Oh, your school is already over. Okay. So when summer comes, then it's a time for what? What's the theme today? Non-doing. What do you think non-doing is? Yeah, that's... You don't know. That's a good Zen answer. I wonder as you guys rolled out of here to all your activities today, Perhaps you can be with, what are you doing today? Are you milky? Yeah, sorry. Okay, an art project. Perhaps you could just be with the art project, be with the zazen.

[16:31]

Do you think you can do that? Where is the point in which you're doing those things fully? You're just with whatever you're doing, including rolling out of here at this time. Do you want to try practicing rolling? Yeah, okay, you already know, then you lead the way. Elias, is that how you say your name? Elias is going to help us roll out. Go roll. Looking for your activities. Looking for Zazen. Being with Zazen. Being with the art activity. Thank you.

[17:33]

I think the bigger kids can come forward now if they like. The larger size kids can come forward if they like. Roll and roll forward if you like. Enjoy. See you. Learn to talk fast. So when dharma does not fill your whole body and mind, you think it's already sufficient.

[19:07]

When dharma fills your whole body and mind, you understand that something is missing. These lines have been with me for many years. When I was just so with Blanche, and Michael, and Vicky. This was right after Lou died. We were studying the Ginja Kohan, which these lines come from. So they've been with me a lot, and I even spoke about them recently. And as with all great teachings, one gets closer and closer to it and finds something else in it that resonates and informs. So today I wanted to share with you another aspect of it, how it has informed my life within the context of the missing piece. So I'm calling it the Zen of the missing piece.

[20:14]

So I'm going to read the story a little bit to you and then make commentaries on it, basically. So remember, it was a missing piece, and it was not happy. And so it set off in search of its missing piece. This is our life, right? The first noble truth. There's dukkha, usually translated as suffering. other translations are, discontent, dissatisfaction, dis-ease. Now, the Buddha says that there is dukkha. The Buddha did not say that life is dukkha. In life there is dukkha. So, I say the Buddha is talking about how we, in this body, this heart, and this mind, this sent-in being, our structure to think, feel, perceive our life as not complete, lacking, and therefore from the sense of dissatisfaction, discontent, and deceits.

[21:30]

So we go looking for what we think will give us satisfaction, contentment, and ease. And as it rolled, and as we roll, we sing this song. I'm looking for my missing piece. I'm looking for my missing piece. We, too, put the story of our search into song. Maybe an epic song. A myth starring me, of course. Sometimes it baked in the sun. And then the cool rain would come down. And sometimes it was frozen by the snow. And then the sun will come and warm it again. Through pleasant and unpleasant. There's neutral too, but mostly we focus on the pleasant and the unpleasant. These are the conditions that we react or how we evaluate the conditions.

[22:38]

To promote, usually, our story of dissatisfaction, discontent, and disease. And because it was a missing piece, it could not roll very fast. It would stop and talk to the worm, smell a flower, and sometimes it would pass a beetle. And then the beetle would pass it. And this was the best time of all. And on it went over oceans, looking for its missing piece. The swamps and jungles, up mountains, and down mountains. These are the stuff of life, the events of life, comings and goings, this and that, here and there. Until one day, lo and behold, I found my missing piece, it's saying. Anyone that greases knees and do whatever it is to those poor bees.

[23:40]

And we think we found it. But wait a minute, says the missing piece. Before you do all those weird things with your knees and knees, that part I made up, I'm not your missing piece. I'm nobody's piece. I'm my own piece. And even if I was somebody's missing piece, I don't think I'd be yours. Oh, it said sadly. I say sadly. Maybe you say sadly. I'm sorry to have bothered you. And on it wrote. The first thing we come across, which we think will fit into our story, the story of ours, that something is missing, that will fill us. That we're lacking and missing and need something outside of ourselves to fill us up.

[24:45]

Mine is, I'll be loved. Exactly the way I want, of course. Or perhaps that there won't be any racism in the world. Or that there won't be injustice or inequality in the world. That there will be safety from bombings, from hatred, harm. found another piece, and this one was too small, and this one was too big, too sharp, too square, sometimes held it too tightly, and broke it. You go, fall into holes, have adventures, bump into walls. So for us, perhaps after seemingly finding that first perfect fit, missing piece, somewhere out there, Right?

[25:48]

And then it doesn't work out. The search intensifies for most of us, wouldn't you say? And yet it feels harder and harder to find the wanting for something outside of us to back up that sense that there's a hole that needs to be filled with a missing piece from somewhere out there. This is the story you keep telling ourselves. and perhaps our children. Mine is that I'll be loved exactly the way I want to be loved. Or that there won't be any racism in the world. Or that there won't be injustice or inequality in the world. Or non-harming. What's yours? And then one day, it came upon another piece that seemed to be just right.

[26:48]

Hi, it said. Hi, said the piece. Are you anyone else's missing piece? Well, maybe you want to be your own piece. I can be my own. Excuse me. I can be someone's and still be my own. But maybe you don't want to be mine. Maybe I do. Maybe we won't fit. And then they try, and it's perfect fit. At last, at last, and it rolled away because it was complete. And it rolled faster and faster, faster than it had ever rolled before. You don't find your missing piece, and then you will find pieces that you think will fit again. You'll find other pieces that do fit, and they come and they go.

[27:51]

Perhaps it's the job you wanted. Perhaps it's the husband, wife, or partner that I, you, we wanted. The perfect house, perhaps the perfect title, perfect color robe that we thought might fill us up. some missing piece that we thought would fill us and take away that sense of need, that there won't be dissatisfaction, discontent, or disease. We think when there's no dissatisfaction, no discontent, and no disease, then life is complete. Isn't that what you think? Isn't that why you practice? If I practice hard enough, I will find that perfect state of being in which I have no more dis-ease, no more discontent, no more dissatisfaction.

[28:58]

Or, okay, when it will happen very small, where I can control it from happening, or only when I want it to happen, or how I want it to happen, right? That's what I think, not in my Zen life, my perfect Zen life in which I get to control and be with the kind of dissatisfaction, discontent, and dis-ease I can deal with. So, again, away it rolled, and because it was now complete, it rolled faster and faster, faster than it had ever rolled before. So that sense of wholeness, we think, from accumulating things, these pieces of worldly goods, worldly titles, hours of sitting, numbers of practice periods, colors of cloth, to fill up that sense of happiness, that sense of lack.

[30:05]

It can be euphoric to think that these are the things that will fill us, all the doing, the making, the becoming. And so we roll along in our life before the Dharma fills us, thinking that if we could only find happiness, then life would be sufficient. In our quest for happiness, this is what we are conditioned to do, search for happiness. Really, as the story goes along, I realize that the pieces is in the thing, even when it's a perfect fit, and then it puts it down, and then it rolls off. Singing still. I'm looking for my missing piece. I'm looking for my missing piece. So, so far, I've talked about the common accepted lesson.

[31:11]

You know, I looked this up. This is from How to Teach Children Philosophy, right? And the lesson from the missing piece is the search for happiness. And how fruitless that search is because there's no single missing piece that will bring us happiness. And how it's the quest that is the fulfillment, not the objects itself. And there's a teaching in that interpretation, I would say. And today, I want to propose that perhaps, you know, I'm calling it the zen of the missing piece, is that it's not the quest, right? Excuse me. It's that the quest is not what will bring us happiness, either. The zen is that there does not need to be a search. No quest is needed.

[32:15]

To interpret the missing piece in a common way promotes the delusional belief that we need to search at all. Why? Because it presupposes that the obsessive drive to want things to be different than they are is what makes us happy. It promotes the belief that dissatisfaction, discontent, and dis-ease should not be part of our lives. And so we have to obsessively find ways to not be with those things, or to get rid of those things, or to shelter ourselves from it, pad ourselves from it, gates and walls, inside and outside. So in the teaching, there are three kinds of dukkha. Dukkha dukkha. The suffering of suffering. These are direct, unavoidable pain and dis-ease of the human body, heart, and mind, and our reactions to them, pains and fears and distress associated with this, again, body, heart, and mind, and the mental and emotional dis-ease that comes.

[33:38]

There's the parinamadukha, the suffering of change, frustration, when things change or end. Not being able to keep the pleasant can't get rid of the unpleasant. And that phenomena won't stay solid. This is where tanha, that sense of grasping, your obsession, arises very easily. Then, the sankara dukkha, the suffering of unsatisfactoriness, dissatisfaction and discontent with how things are. Phenomena is in what we thought or think it should be or want it to be. You can say this underlying kind of pervasive everyday dissatisfaction. You can say existential kind of dissatisfaction.

[34:42]

In the teaching, the first nobles truth is that there is to God. These are the facts of life. In this body, this heart, and this mind, there is discontent, dis-ease, dissatisfaction. It will come. It happens. Normal, everyday aspects of living in this body, this heart, and this mind. So can we just be with it? Can we just accept it? Can we just allow that if these are the events and happenings of our lives as it is. Aha, I thought. So that's how it is. And so it stopped rolling, and it set the piece down gently and slowly rolled away. And as it rolled, it softly sang, I'm looking for my missing piece, my missing piece. What if we

[35:44]

interpret this ending as not about the quest, not about that it's okay to have the quest for happiness. Perhaps it's the ending, it's the realization that dukkha is part of life. If we can really let this in as our life, which means that our sense of dissatisfaction, discontent, and dis-ease is also part and parcel of life, then the sense of lack is inherent in our habitual existence or experience of life. Our habitual experience of life includes dissatisfaction, discontent, dis-ease. As a quest for happiness, is for the most part really our inability to identify and be with dis-ease, dissatisfaction, and discontent.

[36:49]

Then when we can accept and learn right through our practice of building the capacity to be with dis-ease, discontent, dissatisfaction, to identify it and be with it, which is dukkha, then there is no quest for happiness that is free or separate from dukkha. The second noble truth is tanha, literally translated as thirst. Implications are more grasping, craving. I like obsessiveness, or that's a Gil Fransdahl word. I would say perhaps an imbalanced energy, overly, you know, sticky. I like to say, is the cause of suffering. The third note of truth is that there is an end to suffering. Classically, the cessation of suffering through letting go of tanha.

[37:52]

The cessation of suffering, however, is not that dukkha doesn't exist or that there's a way for it not to exist. The cessation of the suffering is that we accept the fact that there is suffering and have insight. The practice points of the Four Noble Truths is, the first Noble Truth is to be investigated, to know what is dukkha. The second Noble Truth is how do we understand it? How do we gain insight? We don't have to go looking for dukkha. Dukkha is part of our life. Our practice is our insight into what happens when we resist it. when we deny it, when we pretend it isn't there. So when we can accept that it's part of our life, and it's the obsessiveness of trying to grasp how to make it different, or avoid it, or convince ourselves that it's not happening.

[38:56]

Basically, how things are not as they are, and we want them to be different. And the Four Noble Truths is the path. And I would say to you, the Four Noble Truths, while various, of course, there are different ways of doing it, right? Eightfold Path, basically, is nothing other than being in the midst of our lives. Eightfold Path is a way to be developed, right? Wise view, wise understanding, wise intention, right? Speech, action, livelihood, wise effort, wise mindfulness, wise concentration. So these are the ways, the Eightfold Path are ways to how do we hold and view dukkha and how it impacts and how our grasping and rejecting it is the suffering.

[39:59]

So when we can realize, right, or have insight, that the obsessiveness and looking for ways of not being with dukkha, and let it just be. You say non-doing is not following in the obsessive energy. We realize that that obsessive energy is part of our life, but we don't have to engage in it. I was thinking, you know, of course, when I was reading this, I was thinking Pac-Man, right? This age is me, probably, right? So Pac-Man looks like the missing piece, right? I actually didn't play Pac-Man very much when I was young because my mother... There's a day when you couldn't play Pac-Man on a handheld device or something. You had to pay for it, and my mother was not going to give me quarters to play, you know, useless games. So I don't know Pac-Man that well, and yet now I play some game on my phone. It's kind of like Tetris, you know, you fit the pieces.

[41:00]

And if I'm playing the game and I'm trying to make the pieces fit, my girlfriend would attest to this, often I'd say, shit. Or I'd say, you know, or I hate it when that happens. Right? It's grasping for things to be different. Or I wish that I had done something else or that the game would be different. Right? So as long As I'm aware, right, so then when I realize that, yes, sometimes we play games and we just are bored, but a lot of time I play games because I think this is my time to relax. And yes, I'm sitting there going and swearing when in general I don't swear, right? And so it's if I'm aware that playing a game includes pieces I don't like that do not fit and I do not it's the playing the game is supposed to be relaxing, then I have to be aware that when the playing of the game, even if I go with the attitude of, that's right, I'm supposed to relax, I still am not going, oh, that piece didn't fit.

[42:15]

Oh, the time has ended. I'm not celebrating those things. So on a certain level, this is a thing. If I'm willing to play the game, I will realize that discontent, dissatisfaction, dis-ease comes along with it. Of course, it's not the game that's the problem. Whatever kind of game you're playing, it's when you can't put down the phone or the game to go cook dinner or to go do the next thing or to finish your project or your talk or whatever, right? That is the obsessiveness. So when you're aware that the obsessiveness and whether you can put it down, are you able to put it down? So non-doing, I say it's like non-thinking or a parallel, it's like non-thinking.

[43:17]

is not to be caught in wanting thoughts and thinking or life to be other than it is. Can we leave dissatisfaction, discontent, and dis-ease as just that? Passing experiences. Experiences rising and falling. Or, I say, is it about connection and disconnection with experience? and the habitual patterns of evaluating them. When we realize it's the obsessive energy which can be missing, the obsessive energy which can be missing, when dharma fills your body and mind, you understand that something is missing. This is the suffering that can be missing. Notice the book ends not with words.

[44:19]

Where most of us might have closed the book. There's the end of the book. This goes off in the search. But really, perhaps most of us would have closed at this point. And yet, what is this picture? Remember, this was when it was the happiest, when the butterfly, when there was no words, no thoughts, no evaluations about what is happening. It has stopped. It is silent. It is with things as they are, including the butterfly on its head, and it was happy. I'm sorry. There's no it. And then, this is actually the last page, which by the way, I'm sorry, this is the last page, which is actually, after all the forgery, the first page.

[45:38]

And what is that? This bumpy line that we've rolled along, which had holes. which have worms, which have flowers. Thank you for your attention. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our programs are made possible by the donations we receive. Please help us to continue to realize and actualize the practice of giving by offering your financial support. For more information, visit sfcc.org. and click giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[46:22]

@Transcribed_UNK
@Text_v005
@Score_95.86