This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. I'm so happy to be here this morning to see all of you in this wonderful room I asked today that we not have the overhead light on I wanted us to have natural light I wanted you to feel the sun shift through the room in this next period of time I wanted you to experience the shadows and the pattern on the floor and to let mother earth speak today without artificial illumination.

[01:04]

I need to start with some thank yous. Thank you for inviting me to speak. Thank you to my teachers, Ed Satterzan and Linda Ruth Cutts, who have guided me and taught me, who I've read with, who I've listened to, who I've written with, who I've traveled with. They are here in the room today as well. And I have a special shout out to the volunteers that have been working and are continuing to work in the library. And that's really why I'm here today. I'm here to speak for the books. I'm here to represent the library. I'm here to make their voices heard as they quietly and peacefully enter into a box, a box that's being put away for an entire year.

[02:17]

Some of the volunteers are here in the room. You know who you are. And some of you are coming this afternoon. Without that effort, that huge effort, like over 20 people signed up to come to the library to help move these books. I think that's so incredible. It's really, it's just a great example of work practice. So thank you. So why do I say I'm speaking for the library and speaking for the books? Something really weird happened yesterday. The first group of people that were in the library, we walked in the library, all the books were on the shelves sitting where they live. And we had a three-hour period of working. And when we came back at the break, I asked them to just be quiet for a minute in the room and see if they noticed had anything changed in the room.

[03:25]

and something had. It was more quiet. It was noticeable. It was almost as though the voices of the books, their conversations with each other, or the way they speak, had been modified. And I'm assuming, as the day continues today, and perhaps tomorrow, With a bit of sadness, I will say that room will be silent. It will be empty. It will not have any books sitting on the shelves for an entire year. Kind of gives me the chills. And yet, with these volunteers and with this huge effort this weekend, we're able to take good care of them. I'm aware that, you know, books aren't, you know, I'd say, probably if I asked you, most of you would raise your hand saying if you needed some knowledge, if you needed some information, you would go online, right?

[04:40]

And I do it as well. But books are a little bit different. And I was trying to figure out a way not to be an old lady looking sentimental up here, you know, like, oh, you've got to read books, right? That's not why I'm here. That's not what I want to say. I think it's about thinking how we illuminate our lives and what we turn to and what's habit and maybe what is a change-out. So one of the changes, I hope, or maybe additions you'll consider after this morning is finding a book this afternoon. Any book. Take a look at it. Page through it. See how it feels in your hand. How heavy is it? What page did you turn to? In advertising for volunteers, the word rescue was used, and Brent and I went round and round about that.

[05:47]

Like, what are we rescuing them from? Like, what's happening here? I'm not sure that we're rescuing them. but I do think that we're caring for them, and we want to make sure they survive. I brought three books with me today. One is the, this morning I pulled it out of my library, it's the oldest book that I have, I had it as a child, and it's dated, are you ready for this? 1942. Another book is Dogen, which is kind of always, Dogen's always right by my side. And the other book is my most recent book on Dogen. So I'm going to dip into those today as well. I was thinking about where the library sits in our centers. So I don't know if you all have been to Tassajara.

[06:48]

and Green Gulch, as well as Zen Center. But think about where those libraries are. So the library here, most obviously, is in the basement. And for a long time, that really bothered me. Like, it takes a real effort to get to the library. You've got to find your way. It's down, there's not that many windows. It's kind of dark in there. Sometimes it's cold. But then I decided to shift that. And I realized it's right next to the zendo. It's right next to the zendo. It couldn't be nearer to the heart of our practice, the library. So just like Soto Zen, it's not jumping out. If you walk in to city center, you're not going to see a big sign that says library with an arrow. You have to find it. And there it is right next to the zendo. And then I thought about the Tassajara Library, which is probably one of the sweetest libraries around.

[07:53]

Right? People used to live in that library. They've told me stories about sleeping with the books. And again, that library is right next to the Zendo. It's just a few steps away. It's so close and intimate and beautiful and kind. And then the third library, Green Gulch Farm. So that library kind of has a bit of history. It used to be in a room upstairs with a fireplace. Some of you may remember. And I used to sleep overnight there in the old days in amongst the books. And that's where the libraries were kept. But they started to degrade because of the... the weather in the room. So when there was a renovation, they were moved to the basement.

[08:54]

And again, I thought, oh, they put the library in the basement. Nobody's going to be able to find it. But then when I was rethinking this, I realized, wait, it's right underneath the Zendo. When you're sitting in the Zendo at Green Gulch, the library is directly under you. So these books, these voices, are all available to us, even when we're sitting zazen in the zendo. Roger, remember that clock? Who's on first? Better get going here. So I kind of divided this talk up into some arenas.

[10:00]

I wanted to talk about reading versus hearing. And I wanted to talk about my relationship to words. And then I want to talk a little bit about practice and study and their relationship. Last week, I had a conversation with somebody who said, I never read Dogen. Don't even bring Dogen near me. I don't want to have anything to do with Dogen. And then kind of inside I was thinking, well, you know, every time you listen to a Suzuki Roshi lecture, he's talking about Dogen. So there are lots and lots of ways that we read or we hear the Dharma. And so what is the Dharma? The Dharma is the teaching, right? And it's said that reading is scholarship and that hearing is demonstration. When I first started teaching, giving these talks, I come from a history of academia where you give a lecture.

[11:01]

And a lecture is about information. But Dharma talks are about demonstration. Like kind of what's coming out of my mouth. I'm not sure how important it is. But the idea of kind of taking up a teaching and demonstrating it to people those people that you're sharing it with. Reading is more contemplative. You can digest it. You can apply it. And when you hold a book, when you read something, you have a chance to ponder, to pause, to revisit. Those are all, I think, really important elements. that have to do with getting to know and understanding the Dharma. We have a lot of spoken words that are written down. When you think about it, everything we read of Suzuki Roshi's was a spoken word.

[12:06]

He himself never wrote down his talks. Even Dogen, you know, even the Buddha, a lot of the reading that we consider reading, having been written, is actually something that was originally heard and then put down on paper. So Dharma reading is different from all the other reading. And if you've picked up a sutra, you probably are familiar with this. So some of the things that Dharma reading are not, is not, It's not information. It's not data. It doesn't explain. And it's best done with discussion. It's really helpful when you're reading the Dharma to share it with someone else or a group so that you can begin to understand it.

[13:11]

When the Buddha was asked to teach, we all know what he did, right? He just stood up and he stepped off the daze. He was silent. If that silence had been allowed to endure, we probably wouldn't have the teaching that we have today. So thank you for all those people who've listened to these words and have written them down over the years. I think it's a good time to crack open this first book. This is a stretch. It's a bit of a risk. It's called Twig. So some of you may know I was born and raised in Montana. I learned how to ride a horse before I learned how to walk.

[14:22]

That was my world. And I've kept this book my whole life. And I got up early this morning and decided to read some of it. And I was thinking, I wonder if there's Dharma in here. And I found what I think is... Potentially, I'll suggest an example. So just to put this in context, I lived in Montana. There was horses, mountains, snow. This is a book about a young girl living in New York in a tenement. I remember the first time I went to New York and... My father was with me, and we drove past a window, and it said flea market. And I said to my father, out to the flea shop there?

[15:24]

So I grew up kind of in a somewhat sheltered space. So here's what I want to read to you. Down in the backyard, no grass grew. But a dandelion stood there all by itself. It had long leaves that were bent over like the branches of a tiny tree. And it had a tall stalk. At the top of its stalk was a little round bud, just a plain, ordinary little round bud. But inside it, inside of it, was a beautiful flower. Someday, maybe today, The little bud would open and let the flower show. Twig could see the dandelion from where she stood. It looked very green, away down there, against the bare brown ground. So, this is a young girl who is...

[16:38]

lives in a tenement, is extremely poor, but has a great imagination. And I think that without, I don't need to tell you the story because it's not like a major breaker story, but she sees this dandelion and she has this idea about it, about what it will become. And it's not a weed, it's just a dandelion, just that's it. So... I hope that you enjoyed hearing that. My own relationship to words has been both, when I was very little, I actually wrote books. And I always, because of where I lived, books were very important because there wasn't too much going on where I was growing up. The first time I heard what I will say the Dharma, was in France.

[17:41]

I used to be part of a Korean Zen center, and one day one of the students came up and he said, I heard about this teacher, Suzuki Roshi, I want you to listen to this audio tape. And he gave it to me, and I sat down, and I heard Suzuki Roshi's voice. I can remember it to this day. grabbed my heart. I don't remember his words. I remember his voice. And that was the beginning, I think, of me making friends with the Dharma. Then when I began to practice here, I had a real aversion to reading. I'd see these study groups and I'd go, oh no, I'm just going to sit Zazen. That's what I do. And that lasted for many, many years.

[18:42]

I did not touch a book, a Buddhist book, for many, many years. That changed because of Dogen. Somebody introduced me to Dogen, or I passed by him, or somebody taught Dogen, and I went, wow, who's that? And... I do not understand this at all. So I joined a study group with Shinshu Roberts. Some of you were in that group. And we studied Dogen for years, years and years and years. We studied so much that then I decided I needed to read more and I kept adding books and reading more and reading more and meeting readers and meeting writers. And so I actually put that together and went back to graduate school to study Buddhist scholarship and really immerse myself in everything that was available.

[19:52]

And then I made a stab at writing about it, which is this book. And generally speaking, authors don't get up here and talk about their books. So it's not that this isn't an infomercial. But I think it's important in the context of this talk because one of the things that's been told to me is if you don't understand the Dharma, what you're reading, then look at the commentaries. Read what somebody's writing about it. see if the way that they have re-evaluated it, reconsidered it, maybe in contemporary language, will allow you access. And this book came about because I was having a conversation with someone named Steve Stuckey, who some of you may have known, and who I studied with here. And we were talking about Dogen, and I said, I really don't understand Dogen.

[21:02]

I don't know how to understand it. And he said, well, why don't you use your love in nature to explore Dogen? And that was like this key. You know, it just like unlocked something. And that's really how this book came to be. And so I started to imagine, a little like Twig, what did Dogen see when he was writing? What did he look out when he looked out the window? What informed his eyes? What inspired him? What influenced him? And maybe how did that impact his writing? So I thought I'd share a page from this book that I think is intriguing. The end of the book is I invited four Dogen scholars to... write on Dogen excerpts that I picked out.

[22:04]

And this one has a commentary by Michael Wenger, who's an incredibly gifted and amazing scholar and practitioner. So the excerpt is from the Shobo Genzo. And it goes like this. So this is the Dharma that you would read in the Shobo Genzo. Once you have clarity, do not neglect a single day. Wholeheartedly practice for the sake of the way and speak for the sake of the way. We know that Buddha ancestors of old did not neglect each day's endeavor. Reflect on this every day. Sit near a bright window. And reflect on this on mellow and flower-filled days. Sit in a plain building and remember it on a solitary rainy evening.

[23:06]

Why do the moments of time steal your endeavor? And this is what Michael sent back to me to be included in the book, his ideas, after reading that excerpt. Dogen's garden is right before us. His clarity here is not the clarity of subtraction, but the clarity of connection. To practice in the midst of connectedness is wondrousness. Buddhism is a living entity, alive in our tender participation with everything. Neglect encourages weeds. Weeds in themselves can be used to nourish, but they too need to be cultivated. to be practiced with. By manifesting ourselves, the world comes alive. Time can momentarily steal our sense of aliveness if we lose the sense of continuity and participation.

[24:11]

Each flowering is a culmination, an ending, and a new beginning. Dogen may have lived a long time ago, but his connection to us is palpable, His teachings, his garden lives on through us. Don't waste time. I need to make a choice. I'd like to talk a little bit about Blanche and about ways to read the Dharma. So when you leave the room today outside on the table, I printed out a reading list. There's three recommendations there.

[25:15]

One is from Blanche Hartman, who was an abateer. The second is from Norman Fisher, another one of our esteemed teachers. And the third is just a couple of additions that I added. Blanche was one of my early teachers and one of my most profound. She said that studying the teachings of contemporary teachers in the tradition that you are practicing, teachers that are directed to practicing students, that is the way to study the Dharma. That is, rather than studying writings about Buddhism, studying the writings of teachers face to face. What does that mean? I mean, of course, take all of this with a grain of salt. These are suggestions. You all have your own habits and preferences.

[26:17]

But I like what she's saying. She's basically saying, contemporize it. You know, try to make a way that it's accessible to you. Like Steve Sookie said to me, use your love of nature to find a way to navigate. Build the right boat. And I like the way Blanche built boats. There are lots of ways to read the Dharma. And I'd like to read this list for you because it's pretty incredible. And maybe one of these is already part of your daily practice. Or maybe there's something on this list that you'd like to try out. Or maybe there's something on this list that you'll never do. One, which is a favorite of my teacher, Linda Ruth, is to memorize. And I asked her the other day, why do you have us memorize Dogen, memorize these sutras?

[27:22]

And she said, if you learn it by heart, it is you. It will come to you when you need it. Another way is to read the sutras. Challenging. It's a whole different style of language. The words of the Buddha and these words were spoken first and then written down later. And usually most sutras in the library, we have lots and lots of sutras and lots and lots of commentary. They're meant to be read slowly. And in temples in Japan, there's actually a room set aside for copying the sutra. which is a very beautiful formal temple art that we've done now and then at our campuses. Another way to read the dharma are koans. And these are basically stories or puzzles to teach, and there's usually a verbal exchange.

[28:25]

They show you something, but they don't explain. So that's another style of a way to read the dharma. And then there's poems. So historically in Japan, poems were used the way that's how people communicated with each other. I would leave a poem for Roger, and the next morning he would leave a poem for me at my door. And that would be how people conversed and how they shared ideas. And then there are tales, like the Jataka tales. These are stories written long after the Buddha died, and they use these stories in a way to teach. And then there's scholars and teachers like Dogen, where there's a combination of philosophy and Dharma. So I'll just read a quick, quick little Dogen here that I think is a beautiful addition to the day.

[29:30]

and this is in only a Buddha and a Buddha. So lots of times, you know, we hear face-to-face transmission, and I think, you know, in a ideal world, that's when you're actually looking at someone, there's two people, or at least two people facing each other. But I'd like to think that you can do that with a book as well, that that's a kind of face-to-face transmission. So in his section on only a Buddha and a Buddha, This is how he ends that fascicle. And this is the... So he's talking about traces. We do talk a lot about birds in the sky, fish in the water, and where have they been, where are they going, how do you know they were there, leave no trace. We talk about trace a lot. And... and what that represents in our lives, and especially in community.

[30:38]

You may wonder why you do not know. The reason is that while Buddhas see these traces with Buddha's eye, those who are not Buddhas do not have a Buddha's eye. And just notice the Buddha's attributes. All who do not know should search out the trace of the Buddha's path. If you find footprints, you should investigate whether they are the Buddha's. On being investigated, the Buddha's trace is known, and whether it is long or short, shallow or deep, it is also known. To illuminate your trace is accomplished by studying the Buddha's trace. Accomplishing this is Buddha Dharma. I want to include Suzuki Roshi before I start to close up shop here.

[31:46]

I was looking through, trying to see, what does he say about reading? What's his idea about reading the Dharma? And I found this. And I think it alludes to this idea about how do we practice, how do we balance study and practice? It's not one or the other, right? You can't just sit in a room and read, and you can't just sit zazen all the time. So how do you put those together? What's the recipe? What makes it work? So Suzuki Roshi said, books we have, these are transcriptions of his talks. Someone heard it first. It's very intellectual. Attaching to someone else's words is very intellectual. Commentary is important.

[32:47]

So he's kind of saying the same thing that Blanche Hartman said, that you have to put it in a context. You have to consider how you're going to digest it. And lots and lots of times I've read that reading is not such a good idea if you're practicing Buddhism, but... I don't align with that at all. Linda Bruce said that there are three legs that have to do with balancing practice and study. Sazen, study, and meeting with a teacher. Those three things are really important. Suzuki Roshi also said... The teaching that is written on paper is not the true teaching. Written teaching is a kind of food for your brain. Of course it is necessary to take some food for your brain, but it is more important to be yourself by practicing the right way of life.

[33:55]

The teaching that is written on paper is not the true teaching. Written teaching is a kind of food for your brain. Of course, it is necessary to take some food for your brain, but it's more important to be yourself by practicing the right way of life. And in preparing to speak today, that's one of the things that has really resonated throughout for me, has been this idea that when you read the Dharma, when it touches your heart, when you connect to it in a heartfelt way, then you have a kind of understanding. and only in that way. And that takes tremendous effort and diligence. I'm going to pick Kafka to choose to close with rather than a poem by Hirschfeld, because it's kind of

[35:08]

It's a little bit aggressive, but I like it. Here's what he said. Great writing can entertain, enlighten, and even empower. But one of the greatest gifts to us is its ability to unsettle, prodding us to search for our own moral values. Please take a copy of the reading list and come by the library this afternoon and see what we're doing. Thank you very much. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered at no cost and this is made possible by the donations we receive.

[36:11]

Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[36:25]

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