Jordan and I have this ongoing debate as to whether or not it's still appropriate to chant in Japanese. So I've been off in the monastery, so now we do it his way. Everything changes. You know, last night, we here, in this very Buddha hall, we did a traditional Japanese ceremony called Tsujiki with a kind of San Francisco twist to it. You know, without ever... thinking it through rationally and purposefully.

[01:05]

Is this the expression of Zen? Somehow we linked the ceremony to Halloween. And we saw these images. These are traditional folk images that arise out of Japanese folklore. And we looked at them, I guess, and said, looks like Halloween to me. And so we've blended the two together. And now when we do this ceremony, people turn up in costume that we associate with Halloween. And we have this wonderful weaving of a Buddhist ceremony that has been crafted over hundreds of years. which is an intriguing thing all by itself, but then we've added this other element to it.

[02:05]

That this, oh, we already had this. We had something called Halloween. The central idea of the ceremony is this, that we welcome those disturbing, perplexing, frightening aspects of our being, both of our singularity and our collective being, and beyond our collective being. We welcome them, we acknowledge them, we nourish them, and then we invite them to return to their usual well-being. I think it's interesting. I think if you asked us, well, is this Zen? We might be inclined to say, oh, no, no, no, this is not Zen.

[03:08]

Zen is purer. It's more refined. It's more expressive of the profound wisdom and compassion. But it's what we do. And how can what we do year after year not be what we do? our bodies express a truth, whether our minds and perspectives are acknowledging it or not. And of course, individually, this is what we're doing all the time. We're expressing a truth of our being and our way of being with our bodies, with our actions. with our psychological life. You know, we're expressing that truth, whether or not we care to acknowledge it. No, no, no, that's not me.

[04:11]

Okay. Look like you. Look like those words came out of your mind. Looks like those actions were made by your body. whether we care to admit it or not this is Zen according to us for now whatever who knows you know in the realm of psychology we probably put it something like this there are these aspects of our being, our psychological being, whatever, that are... that we're not so readily or easily in contact with, but that play a role in who we are and how we respond to circumstances.

[05:21]

And I would say they are both... positive and negative, both inspiring and frightening. I remember when I was growing up in a Christian faith and it was very common that people would pray to the Blessed Virgin, pray to St. Jude, pray to St. Francis. These are typical images. kindness, of generosity, of patience, of endurance. You know, in my memory, it's interesting that the images that were prayed to were of that quality. In the world I grew up in, few people prayed to archetypes that were...

[06:26]

strong and steadfast. There was something more vulnerable and tender. But I would say in the array of inspirational and supportive images and archetypes of what we would most commonly call our religious experience, for want of a better term. There are a variety. And certainly even in Zen, with all the purity of its emptiness, we bring in lots of images. The seated Buddha, that steady stability, that... That wide mind that just looks at the world as it is and holds it with kindness and wisdom.

[07:36]

That standing Buddha with courage and compassion entering into the activity that life presents. That feminine Buddha that holds and nourishes and inspires and guides. the world that we all share. And then this ceremony turns towards that which is more difficult for us, that which disturbs us, that which inclines us to separate from, and then also inclines us in a truly annoying way to cling to and allow it to agitate and frighten. and discourage. And that's a little bit what I want to talk about this morning. How do we do what this ceremony is suggesting?

[08:41]

How do you bring forth your own demons, your own difficult experiences, your own difficult archetypes and psychological tendencies? How do you bring them forth, acknowledge them, and nourish them. That they may settle in some way. There was a famous Buddhist practitioner and intellectual powerhouse in the history of Buddhism, Nagarjuna, and he said, what language expresses is undone as the object of mind is undone. What language expresses is undone as the object of mind is undone.

[09:46]

When these forces within us create an entity and And we play this out all the time in our usual life. Somebody we don't like. Maybe because we have direct contact with them or maybe because we read about them in the newspaper and we feel in opposition to how they're presented. We reify them. They become solid. And as they become solid, the story about them becomes more solid and enduring. As we can make a closer contact and see that that object is a co-creation. We had an experience, we had a response to the experience, and those two together have crafted something that has become solid and enduring.

[10:53]

And the language about it the description of it, the story about it, has become solid and enduring. How can we move towards that difficult and painful territory and hold it and see it and let the mythology of it not be so solid and determined. It's not a matter of suppressing. It's not a matter of denying our own truth. It's something more delicate. It's something, in a way, more precise, but also intrinsically something that is kind and wise. And I would like to use part of this poem by David White to express it.

[11:59]

Following the path you know so well, so well that now you see nothing and hear nothing unless something can cry out loudly to you. And for you, it seems even then, no cry is louder than your own. Sometimes it takes a lot to get our attention. In a way, Zen practice is very simple. Just pay attention. Notice what's already going on before the whole world starts yelling at you. There's a way in which, if we think about it in terms of the energy of attention, We give our attention to these archetypes, to these memories that have conjured up into real being.

[13:07]

We give our energy and attention to them, and the present world, the world that's happening here and now, becomes a little bit more dreamlike. We're so caught up in our own thinking and feeling. of the past and the future. That this world loses some of its vitality. And part of what I'm talking about this morning is how to let that very process guide us back into deeper connection. That we turn towards that which has being energized, and is now crying out loudly. That difficult interaction that keeps returning to your mind and heart. That pops up when you lie down in bed and start to go into a more spacious state before you go to sleep.

[14:22]

pops up during your day, interrupting the task at hand. I think we've all had and maybe have these persistences in our life. And then, I don't know if I would totally agree with this, but maybe we all have our moments. No cry is louder than yours. And in your own darkness, cries have gone unheard as long as you can remember. So one of the challenges for us, even in the disturbance, to try to remind ourselves this can be a valuable teaching. Even though this is unpleasant, it brings up fear, It brings up aggression, it brings up sadness, it brings up resentment, regret.

[15:28]

Maybe there's a valuable lesson here about who I am, how I am in the world, how I co-create, how I participate in taking the experience and shaping it a certain way. Sometimes your body is as hard like stone. on a path that storms break over. Embedded deeply into that something you think is you. Sometimes unawares, sounds seem to descend as if kneeling down into you. And you listen strangely, caught as the voice moving closer helps. And in a terrible silence, now arriving whispers, without pity or persuasion.

[16:31]

That's why we need poets for lines like that. Now arriving, whispers, without pity or persuasion. You know, the truth of what is, in its essence, is simple and matter-of-fact. Whether we like it or not, It's not subject to our prejudice. Without pity or persuasion, now arriving, whispers without pity or persuasion. Get up. I depend on you utterly. Everything you need, you had the moment before you were born. Get up. I depend on you utterly. Everything you need, you had the moment before you were born. Because fundamentally, this is about empowerment.

[17:42]

Everything you need, you had the moment before you were born. This is not a quest of how you will find the special wisdom. the special power to engage this world. This is about realizing that in the moment, when the moment is met, when the stories that have turned the world into a solid entity that, like a sharp rock, presses painfully against the sole of your foot, when that starts to dissolve, when we're not grasping it and reifying it, the world becomes workable, engageable, in some way that we have the capacity to relate and suffer less.

[18:53]

We have the capacity to relate and pay attention and see more thoroughly what's going on. We have the capacity to relate and to learn. We have the capacity to discover that something in us has always been there. And something in us is completely worthy of our full There's a strange paradoxical way that when we give our energy to our agitation and distress, we don't totally trust it. We don't totally believe it, even though it's running the show. Even though we're really agitated and distressed and sad and resentful. Something in us can't

[19:56]

settle down in the middle of that and say, I give my whole life to this. And so we call these images hungry ghosts. They're hungry for something. And the image of a ghost in Japanese folklore, is that it's not grounded. It's not settled on the earth. It's sort of drifting. It doesn't have a root. It's not anchored. It's drifting. It's sort of being pushed and pulled with a sense of something missing, a sense of not-okayness. So this coming back, letting the very intensity and often suffering of our disconnect, of how we've helped to create agitation, distress, of letting the very energy of that, letting the very emotion of that guide us back into connection to a deeper way of being or a fuller way of being.

[21:30]

And often as we start to practice this, we get a glimpse of it, we get a taste of it, but it creates, you know, as it undoes the language of our distress and starts to hint at the language of our empowerment. Such a way is possible. Everything I need was there before the moment I was born. As we start to take that language to heart, often we just get a glimpse and then we return to the much more well-rehearsed other language. I can never be happy unless I can never satisfy this hunger or this aversion Unless that person stops doing that, or that person starts doing this, or unless this part of me changes, or unless this lacking is filled up or transformed in this way.

[23:02]

This story is so prevalent, both sometimes in obvious ways and sometimes very subtle ways. It sneaks in as a subtle emotion. Some interaction disturbs you, and you turn away. Your body turns a little. You divert your gaze. Then at lunchtime, you purposefully avoid contact with that person. Not something you figured out. Not something you consciously said to yourself. It's just how these forces within us move us, shape us. And how as we bring them to attention, they reveal something.

[24:10]

And as David White says, sometimes they're like a storm. They storm in with a lot of power. And then sometimes this beautiful image, they seem to descend as if kneeling down into you. Sometimes as we start to learn how to hold still, how to meditate, how to pay attention, how to be open, how to engage, how to take responsibility for what's arising. It's like something kneels down into us. We start to see how ingrained some of our patterns have become. How often they speak with authority. Sometimes when we first start to do this, it's rather daunting.

[25:15]

Then part of the challenge is not to let self-criticism, not to turn it around. Sometimes I think at this time of year, we're prompted into these kinds of ceremonies. We think, okay, it's growing cold, it's growing dark, Something's going really wrong and somebody's to blame. It's these guys. It has nothing to do with me. As we start to pay attention, we can see this kind of primitive logic operate in our world. If this is unpleasant, something's wrong and somebody's to blame.

[26:23]

So indeed, you should either be frightened or angry. How to let something else kneel down into your life, some more thoughtful way. really going on for me? How do I feel right now? What's getting stirred up? And allow that beautiful human capacity to reflect on what's happening for us in the moment. We have this capacity to ask, okay, what's going on right now? What am I experiencing, and how am I responding to it? Not that we see it with total clarity.

[27:23]

That takes some work. Even just to be able to ask that question is powerful and instructive. As we start to ask that question, we start to see it's a co-creation. Something is being experienced, and it's being responded to, and those two together are creating and shaping the arising. And then as it's grasped, it's made real and enduring. And when it's seen for what it is, it becomes a play of arising forces and images. And that's why we need poetry. How else can you describe the play of forces and images that are prevalent in our world? And then as we touch the sense of big mind that reflects on our life, when we touch the sense of being rooted

[28:40]

and having a capacity to relate to it. And intentionality arises. Okay? Well, if that's the case, maybe rather than endorsing and energizing these ways of being frightened and aggressive and being filled with desire, maybe I will make more of an intention to stay grounded. And how to find that vow, that intention, within the language of our own heart. And how to let it be an enduring, powerful influence. William Stafford talks about it this way.

[29:43]

At least, according to me, he does. There's a thread you follow. It goes among things that change, but it doesn't change. People wonder about what you're pursuing. But it's hard for others to see. While you hold it, you can't get lost. Tragedies happen. People get hurt or die, and you suffer and get old. Nothing you can do can stop times unfolding. Don't ever let go of that threat. And of course we do. Every day. Many, many times. but not to let that deter us. This is what you learn when you practice being in the moment.

[30:48]

You discover how many times you separate, disconnect from the moment. How many times you get swept away or just have this urge to bring in something to this moment. to let that vow, that intention, include a vow to come back, to return. I vow to vow to lose the vow and return to vow. You don't exactly have to vow to lose it, that takes care of itself. It's more like, again, appreciating that when we get distracted, we have an opportunity to renew our vow.

[31:58]

When we get caught up, we have an opportunity to let go. Within Buddhist practice, within Zen practice, There's two operative methods that support this enduring vow, this enduring presence. And one is yogic. It's about the yoga, yoga as in yoke, as in joining to, joining to the present, being yoked to here and now. The attention, how to cultivate attentiveness, and how to cultivate being able to open up the senses, to hear and see and feel and touch.

[33:05]

How to use the body as an instrument of awareness. How to use the breath as an instrument of awareness. how to use the mind and the emotions as instruments of awareness. No small feat, but doable. Not easy, but doable. And it's not about perfection. It's not about getting it perfect. It's actually about failing and returning, failing and returning. Because in there, something is learned. In disconnecting from awareness, we learn something about the intrigues of self.

[34:10]

In connecting to awareness, We learn about dropping the intrigues of the self. And they make each other evident, like dark and light. And it's the diligent activity of the yoga, of yoking to the present, that allows this to become apparent. This is the activity of zazen. And then the other method is with regards to how to create the internal and external ordering environment that supports this yogic activity. You know, you can say, okay, I'm going to do Zazen while I do my email. Listen to my MP3 player.

[35:13]

and drink a cup of coffee. Not to say that isn't possible. Just to say it's rather difficult. Given the way most of us have become wired in terms of our neurological patterns, how most of us relate to our bodies and our breath, how most of us relate to our thoughts and feelings. It's skillful to ask ourselves, okay, what kind of external environment would support this practice? What kind of internal ordering? As we start to sit, reminding ourselves, okay, This is about experiencing the moment. This is not about playing out and continuing what I want and don't want.

[36:23]

This is about letting something soften and release. This is about allowing the moment to arise. This is an internal ordering. An external ordering. What if I sat somewhere where people weren't rushing all over the place? What if I sat at a time when I felt somewhat refreshed enough and rested enough to take on this challenging activity? What if I sat in a place that felt conducive to taking on this activity? What if I related to my own physical and mental health in a way that was conducive to this kind of activity?

[37:26]

So the external ordering and the internal ordering. So then both the yoga and the sila external and internal ordering that supports practice. They come together and they hold this embodiment and expression of the vow of intention of our life. And William Stafford calls it a thread. An interesting play on... The Sanskrit word for thread is in sutra, when we get sewn up, same as in sutra. This thread of vow that moves through, that sews together, that takes the disparate activities of a human life and connects them to the present and connects them to the activity

[38:39]

of being in the moment and discovering what a human life is. So, and it all starts with these hungry ghosts. It all starts with some strange notion that this centuries-old Japanese ceremony is similar to Halloween. You know, every country Buddhism has gone to, it has taken the local traditions and said, oh yeah, that's Buddhist. How could it not be?

[39:44]

Buddhism is about the human experience. This is the human experience. How could it not be Buddhism? Something in us is intrigued to bring this forth. Part of the nature of our practices, whatever comes forth has come forth and is an expression of our human experience. It's a place to start practicing and it's a teaching about practice. This is why we revere our finder, He constantly talked about finding the way in this place.

[40:49]

This will be what we will do. It will not be Chinese. It will not be Japanese. It will be San Franciscan. So, welcome to San Francisco Zen Center.

[41:06]

@Transcribed_UNK
@Text_v005
@Score_97.63