This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good evening. Is everyone comfortable? Is it warm in here? It's warm? I wonder if maybe someone could open the door and or the window. I think it's about 65 out. So if anyone gets too cold, please speak. OK? OK. So as you may know, we're doing practice period now. So Abbot Ryu Shin and I are co-leading the fall practice period, which is a period of time. that started on Saturday, and it goes until December 4th, in which a group of people together is making a concerted effort to sit.

[01:09]

And, of course, many of the people in this room are in the practice period. And if for some reason you wanted to do it but haven't applied, you can find an application in the front office during the day or by calling somebody. And it's okay to do a lot of your sitting at home and check in with a small group once a week. And there are various options that are available. And it's really meant as a period of time when we can encourage each other's practice. Now, often in practice period, there's a head monk. And the head monk exemplifies the qualities of Zazen mind and of community spirit for everybody in the practice period. The head monk would share. the head of the practice period's seat and responsibility, and be receiving training at the same time they were acting as an example. But, because there is no designated head monk in this practice period, and that's the bad news, the good news is that you're it.

[02:17]

So you're the person, we are each the person, who has to be the example of the ideal student and the Zazen mind for everybody in the group and for everybody around us. And it's only by that activity and that wholehearted arousing and maintaining of Buddha mind and of Zazen mind That is the meaning of practice period, that we agree to cultivate that together. So it means knowing what your intention is for this period of time. Even if you're not in practice period, you might secretly have an intention that you're willing to intend along with the people in the practice period until December 4th. Okay, and then on December 4th,

[03:21]

There's Buddha's enlightenment ceremony, and it's also the anniversary of the day that Suzuki Roshi passed away. Now, Suzuki Roshi, on being asked, he was on his deathbed, and he was about to take his last breath. And on being asked, where will we meet you? He drew a circle with his hand. And that was his last communication. And that circle is Zazen mind. So we should understand what Suzuki Roshi meant by the circle. And we should, should, I don't know should, but let's, let's cultivate that and exemplify that for each other. Not through any circular thinking or cosmic play-acting, but through the everyday activities that we do with attention, with awareness, with dedication to the intention that we have.

[04:39]

So ideally, the conditions for concentration, and I hope everyone can find concentration. meditative stabilization and nourishment and care to the extent that the mind settles. I hope everyone can find that this practice period. And usually the conditions for that are that we're in a safe place where there's plenty of resources that we need to practice, a place that's free of toxicity or where we can resolve the toxicity, a place that... that we're willing to be for that period of time and a time when we're willing to be of few intentions. We're contented with our situation. It's good enough to practice. We allow it to be good enough right here, right now, to do the practice on this breath again and again and again for that time.

[05:43]

And what they boil down to, what those conditions boil down to, in case that's too many conditions to remember, is that each of us be willing to let go of unwholesome conceptions until December 4th. And I hope that turns into a habit, which until December 4th means until it's completely established body, speech, and mind. And also... Let go of neutral conceptions that trigger the fight and flight response. Letting go doesn't mean denying. Letting go means acknowledging and taking care of them 100%. So, for instance, recently somebody in my life made a decision that was difficult for me to take. Difficult for me to live with. But I realized it was the best decision for them. And so that gave me the ability to be contented with that decision and stabilize and settle in my relationship with that person.

[06:51]

So that kind of letting go is something that we can do internally, externally, or, you know, who knows what's internal and what's external when you're practicing Zen. So that said, Zazen mind is self-study. And the point of zazen is the intimate awareness of the self. Okay? It doesn't mean to have a fixed idea of the self and then be aware of that. It means the intimate awareness of the self in all of its creation, moment after moment, through the association with the world, just as it is. There's the self and there's the world. And it's because... actually because there's no self as we think of self and no world as we think of world, that those things are not fixed, that we can become intimate with the self and the world as they are.

[07:56]

And that intimacy, it doesn't just educate us, it awakens us to how things are and how reality is. And the means to do that is zazen. Zazen, we usually say sitting zazen. But actually Zazen means sitting Zen, sitting concentration. There isn't any Zazen to sit. Sitting is itself Zen. Okay? If we do it with this singular intention and perfect awareness on posture and effort and breathing, I'm sorry. So... In the Fukan Zazengi, the instructions on the universal promotion of this principle of Zazen, the teaching of Zazen, the ceremony that we do of Zazen, Dogen Zenji, the founder of our school in Japan, gives a whole big introduction to what is the problem of human life.

[09:05]

That if we're completely awakened, why do we need to wake up And he asks questions like that. And yet, it's important to sit. And then he goes into a lot of instructions on specifically how to sit. But what are you supposed to do during zazen once you settle body and mind? Once you settle body and mind. Once you settle body and mind, Dogen Zenji has this to say. Think not thinking. How do you think not thinking? Non-thinking. This in itself is the essential art of zazen. So for the last 40 years, almost, I'm in my 40th year of trying to understand that statement. It's a short statement. But a long process to understand it, it seems.

[10:06]

And so... like to introduce you to this book, which is The Treasury of the True Dharma Eye, which just came out and is available in the bookstore. And this is Kaz Tanahashi's compilation of translations of the teachings of Dogenzenji, and he did those translations with the help of people, some even in this room. Okay, so people you know. And So this is chapter 28, the point of Zazen, Zazen Shin, and it starts with this statement. So Yashan, great master Hongdao, was sitting. A monk asked him, in steadfast sitting, what do you think? Yashan said, I think it means what does one think? You, meaning the general you. Yashan's response, think not thinking.

[11:10]

Oh, how do you think not thinking? Yashon replied, beyond thinking. Okay, so this is the translation in this book. Realizing these words of Yashon, investigate and receive the authentic transmission of steadfast sitting. This is the thorough study of steadfast sitting transmitted in the Buddha way. Yashan is not the only one who spoke of thinking in steadfast sitting. His words, however, were extraordinary. Think not thinking is the skin, flesh, bones, and marrow of thinking, and the skin, flesh, bones, and marrow of not thinking. Okay, so it means this, what skin, flesh, bones, and marrow? What skin, flesh, bones, and marrow do you know? I'll give you a hint. It's not the thing that I'm hitting here.

[12:13]

It's not what I'm hitting here. But if you should happen to do the same thing, try it. Yep. Okay, you feel that? Skin, flesh, bones, and marrow. You don't even have to buy the book to find it. So, of course, the monk was as puzzled as I was and said, well, Huh? How do you think not thinking? And however ancient not thinking is, still, the monk asked how to think it. Is there not thinking in steadfast sitting? I'll ask you that question. In your steadfast sitting, have you ever noticed not thinking? Does it come up? Not thinking? Exactly.

[13:16]

But did it come up before you noticed it? I'm just asking. This is not a trick question. There's no right answer. There's no wrong answer. I'm asking you about your experience in Zazen. Have you ever noticed not thinking? And could you say something about that? What's it like? Mm-hmm. Yeah, and that's been spoken of in various sutras and teachings as something that happens in sitting. Mm-hmm. Okay, I've got a question for you, Bob. I'm asking about not thinking, not about non-thinking.

[14:27]

Okay, not thinking. Okay. Now, I've got another question about that. Suppose we were deliberately intending to think not thinking. Let's try it right now. Okay, I'll give you a little bit of zazen instruction so you'll have a head start. So adjust yourself so that your legs are symmetrical. If you're sitting cross-legged, the cross of the legs is symmetrical and you're equal on your buttock bones. Find a connection with the earth. The study of the elements is one of the meditation subjects that helps us concentrate. So find the connection with the earth through the solidity of the buttock bones, the place of touch. And then from there, find the spaciousness of the sides of the body. That's the air element. And balance yourself so that the ears are over the buttock bones. And now allow the depth of the body, the circulation of the body, to become present to you.

[15:33]

Release your eyes, your ears. Be conscious of the roundness of the eye in the socket and the space behind that socket and the depth and roundness of the ear organ, the intricacy of the throat. Release everything that you don't need to sit upright and allow the... rhythm of the breath to become known to you directly. Okay, now I'm going to be quiet and just put in front of you the intention to think not thinking, okay, in any way that works for you. And let's just try it for a moment and see what happens. Okay, that was an approximately 30-second period of zazen.

[16:53]

Thank you very much. What happened? It was too active. But too active means that there's a... What happened? It remained thinking. Right. You sound just like the monk, the monk's question that's about to come up. Okay. Anything else? Any other experiences of thinking, of attending to think not? Hugo, yeah. And became not thinking. Okay, so that ties into what's about to happen in this story. Okay. Thanks.

[17:55]

Perfect. Did someone pay you to say that? Virginia, you were going to say something. Maybe one more experience. Anyone? Yeah, there could be not thinking, or there could be thinking, but there couldn't be thinking not thinking. Did I get it right? Okay. Thanks. So I like these answers because they're the truth about what happened, or at least they're a truth about what happened. So then, of course, the monk had this question, which is a similar question to yours. How do you think not thinking? So it sounds like there were some experiences of not thinking in the room. But how do those experiences come up?

[18:57]

And Yashon says, beyond thinking or non-thinking. The activity of beyond thinking is crystal clear. In order to think not thinking, beyond thinking is always used. In beyond thinking, there is someone that sustains you, even if it's you who are sitting steadfastly. you not only are thinking but are upholding steadfast sitting. Okay? So, when sitting steadfastly, how can steadfast sitting think steadfast sitting? Thus, sitting steadfastly is not Buddha thought, Dharma thought, enlightenment thought, or realization thought. So this reminds me of Blanche's story, which she tells much better than I do, but it was about when she was sitting one day and had an experience of zazen, of really sitting zazen, and she brought it to Suzuki Roshi.

[20:03]

And Suzuki Roshi got mad and said, don't ever think that you sit zazen. Zazen sits zazen. Okay? Blanche nods. Yes. So it means in that don't ever... You don't sit zazen. You don't. That's like, I sit zazen. Not. Okay? And how that not arises is called beyond thinking or non-thinking. Okay? So that's the ultimate. That's that conundrum and what experiences it with total steadfastness and stillness. not moving from this spot, is Dogen's statement of a kind of ideal view of zazen, or a kind of ultimate sense of zazen, in which zazen is beyond zazen, zazen is beyond Buddha.

[21:16]

Does that make sense? Zazen and Buddha are concepts, and... Actual zazen is beyond that. Even just to say it messes it up. It ruins it because it's such a conceptual thing to say. And it's easy to mess it up and to have a kind of conceptual non-thinking that we hold up as kind of a second non-thinking besides the non-thinking, the perfectly good non-thinking with which the universe has already abundantly endowed. But the other side of zazen is that zazen is zazen. So in zazen, in sitting in the meditation hall, we do find a seat. We do sit down at our place. We do adjust ourselves. We do follow the posture and breathing. We find a meditation subject if we need a seed.

[22:20]

to start meditation, and we sit in formless meditation if that's what's being called for in body and mind. And so zazen is zazen, and that's the other side. Actually, that's exemplified by the story of... of Nanyue and Matsu and the tile. Okay? Actually, Matsu studied with Nanyue, Zen master Da Hui. And after Dharma transmission, Matsu was continuously engaged in Zazen. And one day, Nanyue went up to him and said, oh, virtuous one, what is your intention in doing zazen?

[23:24]

So we can consider this intention. When you sit down in the zendo, ask yourself, what's your intention in doing zazen? It's a question that you'll find is profound. And Dogen says, in response to this question, please, love a true dragon instead of loving a carved one. However, know that both carved and true dragons have the ability to produce clouds and rain. Okay? And Mazda's answer to this question, what's your intention, said, my intention is to become Buddha. Okay? What does that mean? Does become a Buddha mean another Buddha waves his magic stick and goes, poof, you're a Buddha. Okay? you have my intimate transmission of the Buddha mind seal. You are now a Buddha.

[24:27]

So is that what it means? Or does it mean, I now proclaim myself Buddha, that you make yourself a Buddha. I have now had an awakening experience and I am Buddha. Is that what it means? Does it mean that we drop off body and mind? Or is that Buddha? What does it mean? But I think what Matsu meant was that Zazen itself is living intention. Okay? That the act of Zazen is the act of living and realizing our intention. And so... There's more story about this, about Nanyue picking up the tile and started scraping it on the rock. And Mazda said, what are you doing? And he said, I'm making a mirror.

[25:32]

Anyway, we see the point. How do you make a mirror? By polishing a tile. How do you make a Buddha? By sitting zazen. Okay, so Mazu was silent. So Zazen is beyond Zazen, and Zazen is Zazen. But what does that mean in the Zendo for us when we sit? And so what I would say it means is that we help each other to sit. Our intention helps someone else's intention. Our sitting helps somebody's sitting. And when we, there are teachers and students, that's called the teacher-student relationship or generation-to-generation transmission of Zazen mind.

[26:37]

And when we sit next to each other, it's person-to-person, warm hand-to-warm hand transmission. of Zazen mind. I'd like to close with Dogen Zenji's poem, which is actually a rewriting of a poem by Zen Master Hongjer. But I'll just read Dogen Zenji's poem, because I don't want to confuse us by reading too many poems. This is called the point of zazen, but it's also called the acupuncture needle of zazen. So here it is. The hub of Buddha's activity, the turning of the ancestor's hub, moves along with beyond thinking and is completed in the realm of beyond merging.

[27:38]

As it moves along with beyond thinking, its appearance is immediate. As it's completed in the realm beyond merging, completeness itself is realization. When its appearing is intimate, you have no illusion. When completeness reveals itself, it is neither real nor apparent. It's neither ultimate nor relative. When there's immediacy without illusion, that's called dropping away with no obstacles. Realization beyond real or apparent is effort without any expectation. Clear water all the way to the bottom. Fish swim like fish. Vast sky, transparent throughout. Birds fly like birds. Now, this is a very complex poem, but I think it goes along with the steps that Dogen Senji already told us.

[28:49]

So the hub of Buddha's activity, the pivot of Buddha's activity, the turning of the ancestor's pivot, that's the point of Zazen. It moves along with beyond thinking, or it moves along with non-thinking, and it is completed in the realm of non-thinking. As it moves along with non-thinking, its appearing is immediate. As it's completed in the realm of non-merging, completeness or wholeness itself is realization. So if you sit zazen with a whole body in mind, that itself is realization. When this appearing is intimate, so it means when every part from social life all the way down to the cell, every cell of the body, when the appearing is immediate, you have no illusion.

[29:57]

When completeness reveals itself, it's neither ultimate nor relative. When you have immediacy without illusion, that's dropping away with no obstacles. Okay? So when direct experience comes up without any illusion, without your being fooled, that itself is casting off or dropping away body and mind. That itself is Dogen Zenji's realization. And realization beyond ultimate or relative is our own effort to without any expectation. But then, let's go to the part that's really my favorite. Clear water all the way to the bottom. Fish swim like fish. Thast sky, transparent throughout. Birds fly like birds. Okay?

[31:02]

I think maybe that's enough for this evening. Is there time or no time? Are we ready for... What time is it? Anyone knows? 825? Yeah, let's... If you have any comments on this or questions about Zazen, whether it's about the posture or the experience of Zazen or something you want to share with the group, yeah, please. You're spending a lot of time, you know, organizing, you're sitting and everything. So you want an idea where you have a goal. And you have a goal of, so how are there no expectations? It's just like when I was reading a lot about Jung, I'd have dreams of all kinds of Jungians.

[32:05]

But I had to write in analysis, I'd have like Freudian dreams, right? So I have no idea of consciousness. Yes. I mean, how can you, like, it's kind of like, for me, it's kind of like a conflict that you have an expectation that you don't have an expectation at the same time. Because otherwise you wouldn't be going through all this stuff if you didn't have an expectation. Okay. Okay. Bad Dogen. Bad Dogen. You know, actually, Dogen is giving us an impossible task here. But you should know that he's in very good company. Actually, there are many, many texts from many ancestors and sages, including the Bhagavad Gita and the teachings of the Buddha and Jesus. So many enlightened teachers have said to give without any expectation of results, without being attached to the results.

[33:12]

And so the question is, can we have an intention like, can we have an intention or a goal without being attached to the results? And to do that is a constant process of renunciation. And actually, that's a wonderful point because we haven't even begun to talk about zazena's renunciation. And yet renunciation is... It's kind of like the pot that holds the dinner that you're about to make. Without it, the dinner doesn't happen. So renunciation is the kind of ethical framework for the concentration of zazen to arise. And it's actually impossible to renounce anything. And yet, we must.

[34:16]

And we talk about monks and nuns do a lot of renunciation practices. And traditionally, there are hundreds of precepts that involve renunciation. But actually, the big renunciation is the renunciation that we have to do moment after moment in zazen. which is just simply to drop away everything that isn't the perfect realization of the Buddhas and ancestors. Okay? So that's renunciation. Now, if you ever, it's like Chris is not thinking. If you ever say, now I have practiced renunciation, you're in trouble. And you better start over. So we'll never be finished, probably as long as we're humans, we'll never be finished with the practice of renunciation of our expectations.

[35:20]

But we have to be willing to give over our expectations, to give them away moment after moment. So like in Zazen, if you sit there, You may have the goal of supreme perfect enlightenment for the benefit of all beings. And moment after moment you sit there and you might sit there and notice whether supreme enlightenment for the benefit of all beings seems to come up in you or not. Or what is it that you really notice if it's not supreme perfect enlightenment for the benefit of all beings? But there's a real joke there, which is if you practice complete renunciation and complete appreciation at the same time, it definitely becomes apparent. And yet, if you lean into that too much, it no longer is apparent.

[36:24]

So anyway, it's a complete problem. And Dogen was just awful when he gave us that problem. And that's why his teachings have lived for so long. Thank you so much for a really good question. One more? Yeah, it's like being intimate with another person. Carl Rogers talked about unconditional positive regard. And Suzuki Roshi's talent was to look at anybody and see Buddha. If he looked into your eyes, he would see Buddha looking at him.

[37:30]

And because of that, people responded. in that way. So that's complete appreciation. And to do that, you have to have complete renunciation of anything you think. So you have to be willing to put away any fixed view. For instance, we're talking about you and me. So if we really want to be intimate, I have to stop thinking, this is Tanya and Tanya's this way and that way. And if I say this, she'll do that. And I have to put away any attachment to that in favor of the actual tender moment of give and take that there actually is. And that's complete renunciation and complete appreciation. And if you lean into it too much and say, I'm being renunciate in relation to you so that we can have an experience of intimacy, that will be very harmful. So if you lean into, even that renunciation has to be renounced.

[38:34]

You have to be willing to practice in a limited way, even while you're trying to practice unconditionally. So maybe that's enough contradiction for one evening. Thank you very much for your kindness and attention. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered at no cost, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click Giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[39:19]

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