Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. When we respect something, we will find the true life of it. Is it working?

[01:05]

Can you hear me? Everybody? but it has no light. Should it? Oh, yeah, it's green. Okay. Try again. Doesn't sound amplified to me. Thank you. Thank you. How is this?

[02:57]

Same, huh? Yeah. It's not coming into the room. Yes, but not in the room. You keep saying things. Okay. Blah, blah, blah, blah. That's about what I'm going to say anyway, so... So, more blah blah, how is it going now? Great in the dining room. Great in the dining room, okay, well that's an improvement. Okay, how is it now?

[04:02]

Better? Oh, wow. Okay, let's try that. So when you can't hear me, would you please just let me know? Because my voice doesn't carry so far by itself, so I have to make an effort, so I might falter in my effort, so please let me know, please. Okay? And if you have real hearing problems, please go to the dining room. When we respect something, we will find the true life of it. With big mind and... There we go with projecting. With big mind and with pure sincerity and respect, love... could be real love. Love separated from these factors will not work.

[05:06]

This is what Suzuki Roshi said on January 4th, 1970. So I wanted to put these words at the very beginning. And now I would like to know I see many, many familiar faces, which is lovely. And I also see faces I don't remember having seen. So who is here the first time? Hi, so we can all see. So thank you very much for coming. My name is Christina Lehenher. My Dharma name is Kiku Hoetsu, which means loom of emptiness and dharma joy. And I have the rare opportunity which occasionally comes our way to realize how everything is changing.

[06:13]

How nothing is fixed as much as we want it to be fixed or see it fixed. It is continuously changing. It's continuously fluid. And from time to time, you get an opportunity to... It hits us. You know, it's not like I'm over here and I'm grabbing the opportunity. It just hits me. And if I'm lucky, I notice it. So today is a day like that. I feel like this is the very first time I'm putting on these ropes. I had to think hard at home to get all the pieces together and not forget some because I'm not wearing them currently in my life, this outfit. I used to live here twice.

[07:17]

And now I don't. I changed my clothes in the Doxon room, which used to be, oh, here we go. Everything changes. And I'm in there, which was a very familiar room, and I feel like a complete newcomer and stranger. And I'm sitting here where I used to sit once, and then I was moved to over there. And now I'm back here. But it's not like it was before I had been moved over there. It's a new over here. My heart is pounding. My whole body is kind of like this. And I don't know.

[08:23]

I don't know. It's a new place. It's a new place that I perceive outside, and it's a new being that I perceive inside myself. So I thought Suzuki Roshi's words. When we respect something... we will find the true life of it. With big mind and with pure sincerity and respect, love could be real love. Love separated from these factors will not work. So I find this very encouraging. Another formulation Suzuki Roshi used and which I think I used before in a talk is that everything we perceive, everything we perceive as a thing, we can put the name to, we see as a chair or a bowing mat or the little spider that was wandering around and I don't know where it went.

[09:48]

For a while I looked, I watched it. Oh, it's over there now. I think it's cruising maybe for bruising and maybe it survived. We don't know. Everything we perceive, everything that appears in the phenomenal world he calls is just a tentative form. And I find that also so incredibly helpful. Because given that everything seems so different today and hits me as so different, I can watch the mind that arises in me, the consciousness that's related to my sense of self, who I am,

[10:48]

is very busy trying to find a foothold, like, how did I do it before? And yeah, they would be kind to me, they were kind before. And it can't get really a foothold, because really the experience is I have no idea. It's how was my body before, but my body of before is not the body of today. it has a different experience. So to drop that mind that wants to run into the future or into the past to get a hold, a safety kind of hold, to think of, oh, this is just a tentative phenomenon. It's experienced this way, but tentative means also it's very flexible and very open to possibilities.

[11:50]

So we don't have to forget that, because when we have fixed views, we're close to possibilities. We have expectations, and we have judgments, or we have likes and dislikes, because we move into a fixed position where this is this, and this is the response, and this is to be expected, and so on. In his chapter on emptiness, Suzuki Roshi says, if you want to understand Buddhism, it is necessary for you to forget all about your... preconceived ideas of substantiality or existence. And here we're in a Buddhist training place.

[12:56]

So we have, if we want to understand what we're doing, we do have to drop all and every one of our preconceived ideas about other people, about ourselves, about things, and how they need to be related to. We have to drop all those in order to be able to understand what Buddhism talks about, what Buddhism offers. Then he goes on, There is no way set up for us moment after moment. We have to find our own way. There is no way that is set up for any one of us. Each single one of us is already, since you were born, finding your very own way.

[14:05]

And that very own way is the only way. So if my mind goes, how did I do it before? Or I'll just do the same thing. It's taking me away from finding my very own way in this moment. Coming down the steps. standing in front of this altar, allowing the strangeness, the unfamiliarity of it, to kind of guide me and lead me step by step. And so I did remember to bow. I did remember... to offer the flower petals, even for a moment I was surprised that there were flower petals and not incense.

[15:15]

Even though for a long time we have now been offering flower petals. So, moment after moment we have to find our own way. And we cannot look to somebody else to find our way. Even though we would like to. We would like to be able to do it like such and such. And definitely not doing like such and such. And can we just let go of that and allow the moment by moment, step by step. And how we meet, each one of us meets this moment by moment that is your unique experience, is a determining factor in that continuously fluctuating and influenced by innumerable circumstances and condition moment.

[16:32]

If there is no way set up for us, it's very risky to live. Because there's no comparing possible. There's no relying on something else possible than our own steps and our own experience. So sometimes we take a step and risk something. And in my currently continuing offering to meet with people for practice discussions, I get to see and I get to witness how people are taking risks, incredible risks that may seem very small to somebody else,

[17:38]

but are huge leaps. And I get to witness how those leaps suddenly allow for more life to manifest and to become available to the person. Life that was always there, but didn't have supportive circumstances. And sometimes, Risks hit us. We don't take the step. The floor gets pulled from under us. We thought we would make a step and suddenly we tumble. And the world is radically different from one moment to the other. Somebody we love suddenly dies. Somebody and the whole family and the whole circle of friends gets hit with a cancer diagnosis and life is radically changed.

[18:51]

It's not the same anymore. So how we meet these, whether we feel like we're making a step or we're taking a risk, or we get thrown into something. How we meet these situations is crucial. And that's where we have influence, and we have possibilities, and we have others to support us. even though they can take a step for us, they can be there and we can find where it's supportive for us to be in that step. And can apply what Suzuki Roshi says. We can apply to respect what's happening.

[20:02]

Because if we respect it, if we're not completely caught up in either I'm so great, I'm doing this, I am in charge of my life, I'm handling this, I'm controlling this, I'm managing this, or poor me, I'm only a victim, and why is this happening to me, and this is unfair. Both and anything that is kind of away from respecting, deeply respecting and being curious, what does that mean? What does mean respecting this? You know, what just comes to mind is me again, Steve Stuckey, who had years of practice of gratitude.

[21:04]

He would wake up in the morning, put his feet on the ground. The first thing was looking what's present, what presents itself in my mind, in my body, in my heart, and then feel and express appreciation, gratitude for it. And when he got his cancer diagnosis, he continued this practice. And he said in one of his talks, this is like... a slap in the face. It's not the pleasant, you know, oh, you're so good, and it's like, wow. You know. This is actually incredibly life-threatening. And it was. He died within three months. And he just continued that practice of finding out how to respect this. And he And then we will find the true life of it.

[22:10]

With big mind and with pure sincerity and respect, love could be real love. And it can't be separated from deep respect and sincerity. So in this tradition, we practice. We talk about practice. We practice our lives. We make efforts to practice. And the bone structure of this school is the sitting practice of meditation, zazen.

[23:10]

which in some ways means you're sitting still, you don't move, and that not moving of your body allows you to, over time, see how your mind moves, how your feelings come and go, what tends to move you and what tends to freeze you, And you learn the capacity to stay close, be present, and do nothing. That was one of the slogans Rabbi Anderson used to say many times. Stay close and do nothing. Because we tend, the me tends to want to do things. Either grab onto them when I like them, or get away from them if I don't like them, or change them.

[24:15]

you know, manipulate them or manipulate myself. So to stop doing that or kind of be encouraged to kind of drop it, let it go and be still and present and do nothing. It also, this practice, helps us develop the capacity to really inhabit our body if we engage it. So we can sit for years without inhabiting our body. We can just sit still and be busy in our minds the whole time and never have... much to do with our body besides, you know, oh, this hurts, so let's dream ourselves away or think of something else.

[25:18]

But it actually is an encouragement because this practice is a practice aimed at embodiment. It's not a practice aimed or an understanding aimed at understanding how the world works. in your mind, intellectually. That's one little aspect of it. The main practice is to actually manifest and embody that understanding in your everyday actions. How you get up, how you go to the bathroom, how you say good morning, how you say Hello, how you talk to each other, how you deal with your cups and bowls and robes and neighbors and dogs and cats and plants and kids and everything, the other drivers on the road.

[26:26]

So sitting still, if we engage it, develops our capacity To be open to the whole somatic experience of the moment. How the newness of today that hit me, the new parts kind of hit me today. It's strange in some ways because there was a mind that thought, oh, this is familiar. totally against Buddhist teaching of course it's not familiar it is and it isn't so to really allow to feel how that's in the body then makes it on one hand more scary because you feel it more fully and on the other hand actually simpler because you just do the next thing just you know

[27:35]

The bells ring and then the Chico hits the Han. And then it's time to bow and to walk down here. And if I would forget, she would have reminded me. So, our practice also helps us to remember, to keep remembering that this too, This experience of this moment, too, is a tentative form. It's a fleeting, it's a moving, it's a changeable, it's not a fixed form. Continuously changing and extremely vulnerable to influence, to all the influences that come to bear on it in the moment, including how we relate to it, how we respond to the experience, how we hold the experience, has a huge influence on this tentative form.

[28:49]

So that's why we say it's important to cultivate and apply intention intentions that help us remember that it's tentative, that it's not fixed, even though it appears so fixed, it's not. Even I appear so fixed, that position keeps being reaffirmed and reaffirmed from what I perceive. to keep remembering and putting it in a place where it's tentative. Even mountains move. They just move usually way slower than rivers, unless there's an earthquake. And sometimes there is an earthquake.

[29:55]

But even without an earthquake, mountains move. And the interesting thing is, too, if mountains don't move to the degree we perceive, but we can move on mountains. And you all probably have moved on some hills or mountains, and you have noticed that when you move on them, when you explore them, they change your view. Your view, what you see changes as you walk on them. Your perspective changes. Your horizon changes. So are we willing to explore, to be respectful, to be sincere with what seems so fixed?

[31:03]

It's like us moving on a mountain that seems there and there and still there and still there and continues to be there, but we can explore it with sincerity and respect. we respect something, we will find the true life of it. Which also means everything, everything and everything has life in it. When we respect something, we will find the true life of it. With big mind and with pure sincerity and respect

[32:08]

Love could be real love. Love separated from these factors will not work. So when I mentioned before that I have this incredible, beautiful, inspiring, encouraging, and endlessly awe-inspiring opportunity to meet with people, people that take huge leaps after having been stuck for years, seemingly stuck for years, like mountains, and witnessing the transformations, people that were thrown into big abyss, and the transforming factor is really what Suzuki Roshi says, is that

[33:10]

When the willingness and the capacity arises to treat what is happening, that may seem horrible, confusing, not making any sense, like frightening, scary. But when it's met with respect and sincerity, its life starts to appear. And it appears in very surprising, very unexpected, very alive and full ways. And to be able to witness that and encourage that is an absolute gift of life. And we all have it.

[34:15]

Life in each single one of us. Whether we feel it's moving or it's stagnant right now, which we all do from time to time. It's always ready to keep moving when there is an opportunity and a possibility. And we can move with it. When you find out that the environment where you are is not helping you move if you can. Look for where you're moved to be. It's not because a thousand people find this fabulous. It is fabulous. It may be totally the wrong thing for you because you have to find your very own way. So, It never stops. It's always there.

[35:17]

And sometimes it stands still for a long time and then it moves again. If we can meet the standing still with deep respect and sincerity, its life will be revealed. So that's all I have to say today. It's still totally new. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click Giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[36:15]

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