This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. I'd like to invite you to this evening to let go of all your sorrow, all your disappointments, all of your anger. Put it in the middle of the room. Unburden yourself. Let go of it. It'll be there to pick up again after the lecture is over, so you don't have to worry about that. But take a break for a minute. Take a break from your thoughts of success and failure. just be in the room with other suffering human beings.

[01:06]

If you want to sigh, you can sweep and sigh together. One, two. You don't have to sigh if it's too much. It's coming. More suffering. The Genja Koan begins, when all dharmas are the Buddha Dharma, there is delusion and realization, practice, life and death, Buddhas and living beings. When the 10,000 dharmas are without fixed self, there is no delusion, no realization, no Buddhas and no living beings. No birth and no death. Since the Buddha way by nature goes beyond its dichotomy,

[02:34]

of abundance and delusion, there is arising and perishing, delusion and realization, living beings and Buddhas. So those three things are about smart ways of looking at Dharma. We're all interested in piecing it out, which is good. And I think the most important comes next. Therefore, if flowers fall even though we love them, seeds grow, weeds grow even though we dislike them, whatever we think, whatever our understanding is, your desires aren't going to be met. We're all failures at the success game of life.

[03:41]

Some of us may look like we're good. But if we're honest, nothing hits the mark. We had three deaths of three beloved practitioners. And they weren't beloved because of their successes. They weren't beloved because of their humanness. Jerome had many faults, but he had a great heart. Lou is indescribable. And he gave the same lecture over and over again.

[04:49]

But that wasn't what was so compelling about him. It was his effort. Even though he kept coming around to the same place, it was always with fresh effort. Very inspiring. And Darlene, very talented, but for years suffered from grave health problems, rheumatoid arthritis, and then cancer. She would get up two hours early just to do exercises so she could get up and go to the Zendo. You didn't see that, but you felt it. You felt her commitment. She was grateful to me for giving her Dharma transmission, but the gratitude was at least both ways.

[05:55]

So, in times of when people are passing away, beloved people, there's a natural sadness. our toughening up gets softened. And we can feel things for a change. Not put on the perfect Zen smile. Or not even Zen. Every place has it. And there may be other problems that the city center is having and people are leaving and It's discouraging and... But those are the times when our practice counts the most. When things are easy, practice is helpful, but you get by.

[07:11]

When the rubber hits the road, need practice. You need to face things fresh and not think that what the results are is who you are. For a while at Zen Center I was in charge of many big events and I would notice that at the time the big event would come Whoever was in charge, myself included, would get very nervous before the event happened and would get very nasty to people because they were bugging me and I had to do this event. But at some point I changed my mind and said, this is great, this is my real test. Can I be kind to everyone and get the event done?

[08:15]

And it was great. It was much more fun that way. Flowers fall even though we love them. Weeds grow even though we dislike them. I read even though I can't see with these glasses. And if we know our own sadness, we know other people's sadness. We feel our own vulnerability. We can appreciate others' vulnerability.

[09:19]

So in times that are difficult, that's where there's great opportunity. Opportunity to be somebody different than we think we are. Opportunity to not go on our assumptions but look at things closely. I was talking to someone and he said, He has his problems with relationships. He goes out on dates and the date always wants to talk about herself. He doesn't want to talk about him. He said, that's not fun. I said, well, have you volunteered anything about yourself? Well, I was waiting for her to invite me. I suggested to him that maybe He cultivated a persona of rugged individual.

[10:35]

There was no opening. I don't know if that was true, but I know it was true that his disgruntlement about not being asked about him had to do with him as well as the other person. going through difficult times often we're meanest to our spouses practice leaders friends because we don't know where to hit back we just know we feel bad and we want to push it away How useless. I'm afraid I overused this quote, but I like it so much that

[12:02]

This is from Su Tung Po, the Chinese poet. One desires pleasures and fears a hard life. These are sentiments one entertains before leading the so-called pleasurable or hard life. After one is in it, one tries to think of the envy and the fear and finds that they are gone. Then where are the pleasurable and unpleasurable thoughts after they are past? They seem to be like a shadow, a sound, a breeze, or a dream. Even these four things are somehow more tangible. Besides, how is one ever going to find happiness by countering one illusion with another illusion? I wish I could express this deep truth to you, but I cannot. August 5th, 1088. So be kind to yourself.

[13:32]

Not by encouraging yourself to do, to get angry at other people, but to encourage yourself by saying, this is tough. This is hard. And we need a lot of help to turn this around. And instead of noticing where other people fall down, you might notice where they stand up. Appreciate the strong points of others. Sometimes your body doesn't cooperate.

[14:37]

Doesn't he know who's boss? It's not me. We come to a practice place expecting peace and tranquility. Maybe we find suffering and agitation. Dogen mentions that realized people know about delusion. Deluded people know about enlightenment. Now I want you to take back one of your sufferings, but leave the rest there.

[15:46]

Just take back one. Got it? Now exchange it, put it out again, and take another one. If we try to listen to something wonderful, it means ignoring the birds that we are listening to now.

[17:11]

When you think Buddha said everything wonderful, something wonderful, and I must find out what he meant, then your mind is directed toward Buddha's words so that you don't hear the birds. So always we sacrifice actual reality because we stick to something. And we stick to something that looks like it is very good, but it is not so good. If we have this kind of attitude when we listen to words or teachings even, we will lose our life. And maybe our whole life will be sacrificed because of some special teaching. So our way is rather to enjoy our life right now without sacrificing. On the other hand, this is a kind of desire which human beings have.

[18:17]

To some extent, desires we have are good. But if we are enslaved by desires... we lose whole being. I have a Chinese doctor whose treatments are very painful, but they're actually pretty good.

[19:24]

I wish they were a little less painful, though. And on the days when I have them, I don't have very much endurance. So this is one of these days because I get worn out. It makes me stronger. At least that's my cover story. So... Leave your suffering here or take it away. Use it or be used by it. May all beings be happy. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, please visit sfzc.org and click Giving.

[20:32]

May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[20:34]

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