This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. How many people are new here to the temple, the Beginner's Mind or Beginner's Heart temple? Welcome. My name is Kaydu Linshutt. I want to thank the Tonto, Rosalie Curtis, and the abbess, Christina Lenher, for the invitation to speak today. And to my teacher, of course, then Kay Blanche Hardman. It's great that she's sitting right there. Since it gives me a lot of confidence every time I look up. So this

[01:00]

Invitation today is part of our tradition that when you get dharma transmission, you're invited to give a talk. And often it's the same day, it's the last ceremony, and you might say, well, what is dharma transmission? And people have asked me that, and then more so, actually, people have asked me, well, how do you feel now? How is it before, and how is it different now? And the nature of dharma transmission in our lineage, in our tradition, is that it's a secret. So thank you very much. Tea and cookie time. No, actually. I wouldn't earn my keep that way, so... Part of the reason that it's a secret, at least my understanding, is that in the tradition of Zen, we put a lot of emphasis in doing and also in the knowledge that you get that's beyond your ideas of things.

[02:20]

It comes from the story of when the Buddha, one time he came to speak at a public talk, right, in the assembly, and he looked out, and usually when you read the sutra, there are usually thousands of people in the assembly. So he ascends the seat and sits down, and then he pulls out a flower. And I did consider pulling out a flower from the arrangement, but then I thought, ah, whoever did the arrangement, you know, might get upset. So the story goes, he pulls out the flower, and he just looks at it. And the whole assembly is like, what the heck? You know, it's not the usual thing. But one person in the assembly smiled, and that's Mahakashapa. So the Buddha said, I possess the true Dharma eye, the marvelous mind of Nirvana, the true form of the formless, the subtle Dharma gate that does not rest on words or letters,

[03:29]

but is a special transmission outside of the scriptures. This I entrust to Maha Kashyapa. So that's where the sense of secrecy comes from. However, I did check for the parameters, so I don't think I'm gonna reveal anything that you wouldn't get, or someone who helped out with one of the ceremonies who doesn't know that much about Zen and our way here, you know, had asked a lot of questions, like most people, and I said, well, you know, it's a secret, so you'll be told what you need to be told. And they said, well, you know, it's a secret, but I googled it. You can get a lot of info online anyways, so I don't think I'm revealing anything today that you couldn't find otherwise. But I did ask permission, so, and so, you know, so the Part of, again, to go back to the point of the tradition is that it's, again, beyond words and letters.

[04:35]

And so it's a mind-to-mind transmission between you and your teacher. Now, speaking of mind-to-mind transmission, Blanche is my teacher, right? And when I first started at Zen Center at Tassajara, And I did my first practice period there. Blanche was still the abbess. So she gave a lot of talks. And she's given talks since. And many of you have been to her talks. And I realized that Blanche likes to sing. And it seems that many of her disciples also sing when they're up here. So the part, you know, why I couldn't quite say that it terrorized me, since I did take chorus in middle school, singing, seems to be part of this mind-to-mind transmission. And so for proof today, I will sing you this song. Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream.

[05:39]

Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream. Now you know, again, my first summer at Tassajara, Shindo and I were on the cabin crew, and I was the day off head. And we would have service, and then to kind of like shake up service a little bit, we'd share something, somebody. And my memory is that I thought of this, and I thought, it's very Buddhist. Don't you sing the song? Right? So... It was written by Ella Follette, I think is how you say his name, Orem Light, an American teacher and author of grammar and composition books. It was included in the Franklin Square Song Collection of 1881. And of course, it's a nursery rhyme, an English nursery rhyme that is often sung in rounds.

[06:46]

So the best way to experience it is actually in rounds. So, guess what? Now you all get to do it. How many here does not know this song? Probably most of you know the song, right? How about we doing three rounds? There's a third this way, the middle is second, and this side is third. All right? So, ready? Row, row, row, you're both. Oh, just once, right? What good Zen students you are! Actually, because my next point and why I think it's Buddhist, not only in terms of the content, but is that part of Zen is you just don't talk about it or think about it, but you have to do it, right?

[08:00]

And so whatever, like asking you to sing a song, most of us, you know, okay, maybe if you don't know the words, you have to study for the words. And then the next thing is that you have to go, oh, God. I have to do it, or I feel self-conscious, or I don't like it, or whatever. But then it asks of you to go ahead and give it a try. And then if you let yourself be part of it, then it can be pretty fun. I would hope so. My intention for that was fun. I hope I didn't cause anyone to go to therapy. So... I will say that I think that part of the invitation usually right after you get dharma transmission is that dharma transmission, again, like most of Zen practice, is a process. You have to go through it. It's a strenuous process. And in fact, the three of us who did it when I did it, myself, Joan, and Catherine, a couple days into it, we called it Zen Boot Camp.

[09:04]

Because strenuously, it's very difficult. Emotionally and mentally and skill-wise, it's very difficult. And in doing the process and the enactment of the various things you have to do, a certain mindset develops, is accessed. And I think that part of the invitation to give a talk is to share that mind state. And so today, I'm going to talk about three mind states or qualities that I feel like I accessed much more fully. Not that I didn't have them before or thought of them before, but really access fully in the Dharma transmission process. And that is gratitude, attitude, and letting go. And I'm going to do it in the context of row, row, reyabot.

[10:09]

So first is gratitude, which I think is more like the second line. Gently down mystery. So again, as I told you, Shakyamuni Buddha transmitted his understanding of the Dharma to Mahakashapa, and the large part of the Dharma transmission is about this very thing, which is lineage. You are being admitted to a lineage coming all the way from the Buddha. So I am the 93rd person in our tradition to be in the lineage from Shakyamuni Buddha. Now, as we all know, lineages are made up. Or the recording of lineages and the passing on of who is in the lineage or sense of lineage is is made up. So it is pretty widely known that Zen, when it came to China, there were other religions at the time, and so as a way to kind of verify itself, it came up with a lineage, because that's part of the Chinese culture, is a sense of ancestry is very important.

[11:29]

So that's when it first was fully developed. And it's also widely known that obviously since, you know, by that I don't mean that people don't make an effort to try to be, you know, correct or whatever. That's not what I mean. But by its nature, it has some holes in it. And so it's pretty well agreed upon that the Indian ancestors that we recite every day at the center, the list of ancestors, so the Indian ones, there are a lot of holes in there. And then, if you notice, also in that list, there are no women. And so, San Francisco Zen Center, I believe it was the 80s, really developed a list of women ancestors, which we also recite, not so much here, but Tassajara, pretty much every day. And there are 66 of those. So again, the Dharma transmission is a process.

[12:31]

And one main process is to pay homage to the Buddhas and ancestors of this tradition, of this lineage. So at certain times of the day, we would assess through the different altars and honor the different Buddhas and ancestors, guardians also. So in doing that, we really, again, access the sense of gratitude that we have, not only for them, their lives and their practice, but also for their teaching and their commitment to the teaching. And here, it isn't hard to then also the gratitude that we don't do this alone, not only from the Buddhas and ancestors, but from the people that support us as we go. Because people, like I said, as we went along, someone would carry, like here, when I came in, and Mary assisted me.

[13:36]

Or really, Mary and I are doing this together. And so we had helped along the way, and so we could really feel that we were supported by it. not only actual individuals, but by the Sangha in either being with us in the ceremonies or providing setup and takedown, feeding us, you know, providing rooms for us, and so we also know the gratitude for that. Now I think one way in which for the three of us that this the sense of gratitude, the giver, the receiver, and the gift are not separate, is that one day, when we were in the late afternoon, going down to the zendo to do our bows and chanting, as we enter the zendo, now, I believe it was a Saturday afternoon. It was a day in which typically the temple is very quiet, especially in the evening.

[14:36]

And Saturday, I'm pretty sure it was a Saturday, because for people who live here, After lecture is when the weekend starts. So Saturday afternoon here is like quiet. And so we didn't really expect anybody. And in fact, nobody was in the Zandu at that time in the previous days. So as we enter, there were about half a dozen people sitting. And they were doing their tangario. Tangario is a tradition in which you, when you want to practice at a temple, technically you stand outside the temple for up to five days in the Soto Zen tradition, and they ignore you mostly, but they might come out and ask you some questions, but you're showing your resolve and your commitment to wanting to practice at that temple and that teacher, with that teacher, that master. So in our tradition, we meditate during that time. At Tassajara, they still do the five days, and here they do one day.

[15:37]

So these people were doing their Tangariya. So the chant that is at that altar is one in which we felt was really encouraging about practice and encouraging our practice. And so I'm not sure how the people sitting there felt with us coming in, doing our thing, wrestling. you know, and chanting. My guess is they felt, oh, some relief, something to pay attention to, having satangaria myself. But I really don't know. But I will say that for the three of us, it really felt that there was a mutuality, that we were practicing together, and that we were in it together. And so it felt like we were gently on the midst of this stream of practice. gently down the stream of this tradition. Which brings us to attitude, which I think is the first line.

[16:39]

Row, row, row your boat. Now by attitude, you know, I do kind of mean, you know, you could say, wow, I am the 93rd person from the Buddha, right? From the Buddha, right? That's pretty impressive when you think about it that way. And I will also say that in the 50 years of San Francisco's then-center history, I am only the third person of color to attain these brown roads. So there is a sense, of course, of a historical or a certain significance that you could say is mine. And I would say that row, row, row your boat, to me, sounds like it's a guidance. for how to be in the stream, how to be in the midst of the stream. So row, row, row your boat is how to practice in this lineage, this stream.

[17:44]

Now, our way, of course, is Buddhism, which is, in part, or in large part, the noble, a full path. And the second of the path is right intention, samasankhapa, or samyak sankalpa in Sanskrit. Now, right intention in the Eightfold Path, so sama is usually translated as right. Now the right is much more as in a perfect or complete or enough or accurate, right, that kind of a right, or in alignment with, like in alignment with your intention. And sankalpa, or sankalpa, is again often translated as intention, but the other translations of it can also be purpose, resolve, aspiration, motivation, commitment, attitude. So when you receive these brown robes, it's a marking that your teacher has confidence in you, that you have absorbed and embodied the teaching of this lineage.

[19:00]

and that you're able to share it also. Not only that you have it, but that you're able to give it. Share it, I think, even a better word. So the tradition of the brown robes, or our robes, is this. So the Buddha, again, in India at the time, when he attained enlightenment and then he went around. I remember he gave up everything and became a mendicant and went around to teach. Now, you know, he wasn't the only one doing that. There were other teachers going around with their groups of people teaching. So at one point, he was in this area and King Bimbasara heard that his group was coming and he wanted to hear more of that teaching. So he showed up But it turned out they weren't the Buddha's disciple. So the next time he saw the Buddha, he said, sir, can you somehow do something, mark your group in some way so that I know that I'm getting your teaching when I go?

[20:08]

So this is why the Buddha, with his attendant, Ananda, it is said that at that point he was looking out over the rice paddies and say, oh, let's put together a set of clothing. Somehow, it's something that marks us in this lineage, and let's design it based on the rice paddy. So you can see it in the little bit better, the ruckusso, right? So the rice paddies, or the inner part, and the borders, or the pieces, are really the irrigation, right, that goes around the rice paddy. manages the water so that it's the right level at certain times and stuff like that. So it feeds the plants. Now, part of being a mendicant, of course, is that your life is dependent upon what people give you, right, or what you find. And so traditionally, the cloth made to make these robes, to put together into basically a big piece of cloth,

[21:20]

is made from scraps and found things. And the Sanskrit word for that is pamsudha or pamsudha sometimes. So usually it was gnawed on by rats. This is from the text. Chewed on by oxen. Or cloth found from the charnel grounds, right? And in our tradition, the rakasu is a smaller version, and we have one that is called a funzoe. And for us, It actually is fancier, and we think of it as like a dress-up rakasu, or that's how it's been explained to me. But really, the word funzoe is a polite translation of Japanese of excrement sweeping cloth. So that might give you a sense of the kind of cloth that was used. a lot of it has to do with that it's about renunciation. You're not trying to make yourself better by joining this order.

[22:23]

And the colors often come from roots and bark and leaves or earth tones. So the Sanskrit word is kashaya or the Japanese when it went to Japan became the okesa or the okesa. And so it means not pure or mixed as in mixed colors, and the connotation did become about impure or bad color, again as a sign of renunciation. So in our tradition, you sew your own, right? I have one of these, that, and that, and it's about, I don't know, I thought it took 20,000 stitches, because each one we have to sew a little stitch, but someone told me it was 40,000, that was my size, so I don't know. about 30,000, 40,000 stitches, right? A lot of time, a lot of effort. And with each stitch, you know, we take refuge in the Buddha, Namokie Butsu, we take refuge in the Dharma, Namokie Ho, and we take refuge in the Sangha, Namokie Uso.

[23:28]

Now, Suzuki Roshi, in a talk in June 1971, And the talk is called Sewing and Wearing the Buddhist Robes and how it relates to our practice. He said, last Sunday I told you that whatever religion you belong to, it doesn't matter when you come and sit with us. That is because our way of sitting, our practice, is for you to become yourself. Kateri Roshi always says, to settle oneself on oneself, to be yourself. When you become you, yourself, at that moment, your practice includes everything. Whatever there is, it is a part of you. So you practice with Buddha, you practice with Bodhidharma, and you practice with Jesus. You practice with everyone in the future or in the past. That is our practice.

[24:30]

But when you do not become yourself, it doesn't happen in that way. So if you come here and sit with us, you're not only sitting with us, but you're also sitting with everything, including inanimate and animate beings. Dogen Zenji, who's the founder of the Japanese lineage that we're in, said, if your practice doesn't include everything, that is not real practice. You may ask me why do you wear this kind of robe all the time? You may think we are wearing some special robe, but actually it is not so. And then he talks about what it's typically made of, rice scraps and the dual colors. But then he warns that it could be made from silk or bright colors also. He said, only when you forget all about what color it is or what material it's made of, can it be our robe. It could be silk, it could be linen, it could be cotton.

[25:34]

But when we use it, it is not silk or cotton or linen. It is Buddha's robe. When we say Buddha's robe is just a robe, just that material, then this material is just this material, and it is not any particular material. It is part of the universe, not this material. Because you say this is this table or that stool, it is special. But if this is just this material, then it could be mine, it could be Buddha, and it could be for you. This is exactly the same practice as your zazen practice. When you just become you, then it is how that practice includes everything. When we let this material just be this material without saying mine or yours, then this material could be for everyone. And it is nothing more than material to cover the stool.

[26:37]

With this understanding, we make a rope. You may say, that is a Buddhist rope. But we do not make our rope just for ourselves. We are making something greater, which will include everything, which could be everyone's. Which then brings us to the third point. which is letting go. So to me, these are the third and fourth lines. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream. We let go of the dream that we are separate. That is the dream he's speaking of. We let go that this is only about my life. That we live by ourselves, that what we do only affects ourselves, or what we call mine, or my family, my sangha. And to paraphrase Suzuki Roshi, we let go that we make our ropes just for ourselves.

[27:45]

We let go that this is my practice. Of course, my practice does include the effort I put in, and perhaps the rewards and benefits. and it's for the benefit of all beings. However, I want us to be really careful that all beings does not mean that it isn't also about each being, especially about the one before you, or that it isn't about groups of beings, especially if you think of that group as other than yourself. So what basically you let go of or surrender to You could say the single-mindedness, that it's just my effort and my practice. So this very robe actually is a good example of this. And that is that in the cloth this is made of. This cloth is called khadi. My practice teacher, Shosan Vicky Austin, assisted in the...

[28:54]

transmission process, I think she has assisted most of the transmission process at Zen Center, brought this back from India. So kadi is a cloth that Gandhi revived in India. So when the British came and colonized India, part of what they did was they took the resources, the natural resources of India, and specifically in terms of cloth, they sent it to England to be made into cloth, and then they sent it back, and then people were made to buy that. That's like the only thing available for them to buy. And so for Gandhi, part of how he reinstated or tried to instill self-reliance, he... promoted this weaving of khadi, which was a traditional kind of weaving.

[29:57]

So khadi means hand-spun, hand-woven cloth. And then it was in 1918 that Gandhi started it. So, I think this cloth itself is a good example of how, when we understand what you use to make your cloth affects many, many people. And the intention of how this cloth was made is just as important. So I want to thank Vicki in particular for actually buying the cloth and gifting me with the cloth. And when you receive, to receive these cloths, When people say, well, before I went to the Dharma transmission, many people are like, well, what is it? And part of me is like, well, I know something about lineage, but probably we'll have to take the precepts, because it seems like everything in Soto Zen, you have to take the precepts, doesn't it?

[31:05]

You go to every ceremony, and somebody's taking the precepts, right? You die, they give you the precepts. So to get the robe, you take the precepts, right? I'm not saying anything. People don't know. And of course, the precepts you could think of as rule, but not really. The precepts are ways in which we learn how to live Buddha's way, which is ethical and skillful conduct and compassionate living. Suzuki Roshi, in a talk entitled Bodhisattva Vows, Taking the Precepts, given in April 1969, said, So sentient beings are numberless. That's one of the main vows we take. Maybe, you know, it means that sentient beings are numberless. I vow to save them moment after moment, continuously. But, quote, moment after moment, continuously, end quote, is not necessary.

[32:10]

Quote, I vow to save them, end quote, is strong enough and good enough Quote, I vow, his emphasis, to save them, end quote. If the sentient beings are numberless, we take this vow numberless times. That's all. There's laughter here, according to the transcript. In this way, we feel another, you know, feeling of quite different quality. We feel the eternal practice of our way. of our Buddhist way, so that it is, quote, sentient beings are numberless, end quote, means that our practice is, will continue forever. Now, recently, Kogan, Kogan, are you here? She was asking me about what Dharma transmission means to me. And I said that, you know, that to me, Blanche was expressing her confidence

[33:19]

in me to carry on the lineage. So her confidence in me is certainly an empowering thing. But it's also a humbling thing. Or as my brother, who also practices, said, do I congratulate you now or do I give you condolences? So it's daunting because with more and more practice, you realize that what you do isn't about you. and that there's a real sense of responsibility that if this is a process that can relieve suffering or promotes non-harming in the world, then it's your responsibility to share it. Now, it's daunting, and so what can I do except keep on trying, right? Taking the vows endlessly. So Blanche, you know, when you go through these precept steps, you're given a name.

[34:22]

You're given two names, in fact. My name is Kanxin Keiru. And the first name is what, as it was explained to me when I took it, these things, reasons are varied. So the one explained to me is that the first name is what your teacher already sees in you. So Kanxin is generous heart. And Kedu, right? Now, I actually took my lay precepts with Blanche, so it used to be Chikido Kanshin, which is bamboo wave, generous heart. And then when I was going to get priest ordination with her, as is the tradition, they keep the second one and then they give you another one, right? The second one becomes the first. So generous heart stayed. And then it's also tradition for your teacher to give you some part of their name, right? And Blanche's name, Then Kay is inconceivable joy. Pretty nice, huh?

[35:23]

I begged her. I don't know how many times I begged her for please, please. I want inconceivable joy. Can you please give me your whole name? Usually they only give you one part, right? And I will say, I don't know whether she was, you know, Blanche is very nice. So I don't know whether she was kind of, um... humoring me for a while, but she didn't say no right away. And then at some point she was like, no, no. I can't do that. It's not the tradition. We don't want to make people jealous. But I tell you, I spend a lot, I like, soul wanted inconceivable joy. So then I became Kedu, which is, I did get the joy, but it's a joyful dragon. Now, since it's the name that What's the teacher wants in you more? That means I don't see it in you yet, right? You know, it's been the name that I've been carrying around with me for, this is August, it'll be seven years, right?

[36:30]

Eight years, eight years. So Keiju, you know, now the dragon, you know, in the Chinese astrology, lunar astrology, I'm a dragon already. So I don't know. It didn't, and you should know that Dragon and Zen symbolism is, you know, means something that's in a way beyond words already because it's mythical, right? And could mean enlightenment. But somehow, I don't know. The joy part was the part I carry. And part, perhaps, it's also that I've had a lot of grief in my life. So joy was kind of like the koan I've been carrying. Like, what is joy? You know? What is joy? I printed this this way and it didn't seem to help. So recently, actually, when Blanche introduced me after I got these robes a few weeks ago, and she said my name, right, J.D.

[37:36]

It really struck me that conceivable joy is what we're going after. inconceivable joy, right? I mean, we think that when we practice, we're going to get, it was, for me, it was that sense that when you come to practice, you think at some point, I'm going to get that other life, or that other state of being, or that access some other feeling that isn't part of my life, you know? Or we don't think it's part of our life is even a better way of putting it, right? Which is that inconceivable joy, right? But in fact, it is Inconceivable joy is what our practice is about. It's not that inconceivable joy is in there, but we live. It's much more important, I think, at least for me, what I've come to understand is that I need to live for what joy is here. So then I say, well, what is it that I know about joy?

[38:45]

And maybe I'm a slow learner, but I was struck again, right? That the joy that I have is gratitude, attitude, and letting go. Which, by the way, you can also frame as Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. Gratitude for the Buddha is an example, or the ancestors, which also includes Blanche, right? Attitude, our practice. and letting go. So when we take refuge in what we already know, then the result is merrily, merrily, merrily. So when we're ready to step into the boat of practice, which is being aware of just this very life, and are willing, and hopefully with practice, have the ability to row in a way that's gentle because it's in alignment.

[40:01]

When we know that how we row and where we row affects others and not just ourselves, affects the stream, then we want to do it in a way that is in alignment with the stream that we're in. So we take into account the impact that we make. Then joy can be accessed as we enter into the flow of life. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered at no cost and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click Giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[40:58]

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