So we're all set. We're all set over here. I hope you're all set over there. Good evening, and I hope that for those of you who are coming in from a different time zone, that you aren't too tired staying up so late. We'll see what we can do here. It's wonderful to be together. again and to raise up these interesting questions and matters together and to consider them. And I think we're really enjoying ourselves in this intensive, Norman and I are. So, hope you are too. So tonight, I'm gonna take a look at the Zui Meng Ki, largely book three,

[01:11]

In Book 3 of Dogen's Weedmonki, we find instructions for how to relate to others through Zen practice. Other people, other objects, specifically our mental engagement with them. So first, I'm going to read to you talk number eight of Book 3. It's pretty short, so I'm going to read the whole thing. in which Dogen says, an ancient has said that if you are not an equal of the person, do not speak of his conduct. This means that if you have not learned and understood another's virtues, when you see the person's faults, you should not criticize him. You should think that she is a good person, though her action is bad. Good people also do bad things.

[02:15]

Accept only her virtues, not her faults. The saying that a wise person looks at another's virtues and not her faults means the same thing. So this wonderful passage brings to my mind a similar teaching that we find in the Platform Sutra of Hui Nang, dating almost 600 years before Dogen's Zui Mung Ki. In Chapter 36 of the Platform Sutra, there's a poem in which Hui Nang instructs his gathering that day how to practice at home. And the poem has seven stanzas, and the fifth goes like this. People who truly follow the way don't consider the faults of the world.

[03:24]

Those who consider the wrongs of the world only add to their own. I don't condemn the faults of others. My own wrongs are what I'm after. Just get rid of thoughts about wrongs and all your afflictions will shatter. I'll go read that again. People who truly follow the way don't consider the faults of the world. Those who consider the wrongs of the world only add to their own. I don't condemn the faults of others. My own wrongs are what I'm after. Just get rid of thoughts about wrongs and all your afflictions will shatter.

[04:25]

Lovely advice. Difficult to follow. So the question, may arise, how do we focus on one thing, as we were considering last week, while interacting with others? What does that look like? When we first take up practice, we might feel that any interaction with others is an imposition, and we might recoil, get grumpy, get judgmental, find fault with the perpetrator of such disturbance. Fact is, this may go on intermittently for decades. And it may turn out that the practice of not finding faults with others requires an extraordinary vigor, an active and lively commitment to doing so.

[05:39]

When we sit, we may or we may not find an expansive space, joy, deep peace, and tenderness toward all being. But if we think we can just surf that wave right into the thick of human interaction, interactions with others, we are likely to wipe out. badly and wonder how it happened that all the worst people who ever existed landed right here in my life time to take a breath focus on just one breath then another and another In our practice, we become aware of mental patterns.

[06:48]

First their presence, then their arbitrariness and uselessness. Then the physical manifestation of these patterns in the body. In these days of pandemic, when our interpersonal contact is probably diminished, we spend a lot of time with ourselves. I go for a run on the beach most days. And when I run, I focus on light from the sun, the Earth's gravity, and the Earth's atmosphere as I see and feel my body and breathe. But sometimes, especially during the election season, I find myself just snarling about this one or that one or both or the whole thing.

[07:55]

Or I find myself grumbling about all things. For me, when awareness arises from who knows where, I have the opportunity to allow the snarling or the grumbling, to fall away. Choosing to do so, to return to sunlight, this body, this breath, is my commitment to practice at this moment. But sometimes, as for the story I'm in the midst of, I just want to see it through. And I choose not to allow it to fall away.

[08:55]

For me, I can't remember a time that that was a good choice. To passively stand by and allow the rant to win the day. So Cultivating awareness over and over again, returning to focus on one thing over and over again, becomes more compelling over time. When I defer to my attachment to the story about how this one did this wrong thing to me or whatever, I feel like I missed something. I feel like I was attending the dress rehearsal of my life or like I just spent too much time watching daytime TV or something like that.

[09:58]

I don't even know if daytime TV of my childhood still exists as the world turns, the days of our lives, The repetitive nature of our narratives, our knee-jerk emotional reactions, is why our practice is repetitive. We have what we need to meet the repetitive narrative with repetitive breath, awareness of repetitive heartbeat, maybe a repetitive word, repeatedly returning. Focus on one thing is this. It is returning. In the setting of human relationships, it does take a vigorous effort.

[11:17]

sometimes a vigorous restraint, not to get swept away, not to get pulled into wanting to be right, wanting to win, pulled into protecting our status or reputation or that of our allies or loved ones, wanting to get back at someone who we feel did us harm. Our grandparents may have told us to count to 10 before answering someone in anger. So we already have wisdom about how human interactions can easily go badly when we speak carelessly or impulsively. Dogen's advice here is even before We need to restrain ourselves from speaking impulsively.

[12:19]

We can arouse the thought of this person's virtues, not engage in thoughts of this person's faults. This requires a special repetitive effort. Because we have developed a very strong critique muscle, frequently exercised, strong, justified, with which we evaluate people individually and in groups, close to us as well as remote. Muscles like this, which are strong, repeated habits shared and even cultivated among us, which we justify, for example, as a means for seeking truth and justice.

[13:29]

These muscles need rest. Our practice in this area of seeing others' virtues, not seeing faults, is resting this critique. muscle the one we engage before we even know or intend to we humans have so many capabilities so many capacities so many talents if we focus on and develop our own unique talents and abilities and think of them as our true purpose in life, we may lose our way in this practice. So instead, we can see these talents, these abilities, these capacities as tools.

[14:36]

If we see them as tools, we must learn to put them down when we have completed the task. Like if you need to drive in a nail, you will want to find your hammer. When you finish driving in the nail, you will want to open your hand and let go of the hammer to return it to the toolbox. But what if you forgot to let go of the hammer? What if you walked around with a hammer in your hand? What if you forgot it was a hammer and after a while thought it was part of your hand? It might get difficult to do certain things, but you might be able to adapt.

[15:39]

We are very adaptable. Thing is, you might also need to pick up a saw and a screwdriver and other useful tools over time and forget to put them down too so that you walk around with an armload of tools and then not be able to have the right tool handy and often use the wrong tool out of repetitive habit. We are so good at justifying ourselves, making allowances for our strange habits that we and others around might not even notice this peculiar predicament. So focusing on one thing, how about letting go? Like we let go of each breath.

[16:43]

Letting go in that way of each tool. First, we must notice that the tool is not part of our hand. Then we must notice how we are clenching the tool with all our might. Then we can begin to relax that clenching muscle. Open our hand as we exhale. Rest that muscle, that clenching muscle. And allow the tool to fall away. We can pick it up later when we need to use it. But for now, we can free our hands by opening them. So this is a big metaphor, a big story.

[17:49]

And perhaps it's a stretch. But I think this is the spirit of letting go of others' faults. It requires effort because we hold on so tightly to our narratives about each other and about other. We shore ourselves up by these narratives. So to let go of the narratives, habits of thought, and all the body language that follows, to breathe in and out in the company of others, resting our critique muscle for now, to the practice of focusing on just one thing, with others. Accepting others' virtues, not their faults. In Book 3 of Zui Man Ki, Dogen's instructions touch on all kinds of human impediments to practicing the way, such as,

[19:10]

relations with others, concern with wealth, with reputation and status, and maintaining even a simple means of support for oneself or one's family at the expense of practicing the way. In one talk, A monk comes to Dogen saying he is the sole provider for his mother. So it would be difficult for him to devote himself fully to the way as he wishes to do. Dogen pretty much tells him he should devote himself to the way rather than wait till the opportunity arises when his mother is gone. First of all, It wouldn't be good for his mother to bear the responsibility of preventing him from practice.

[20:14]

And second, there is no guarantee he would live longer than his mother, in which case his mother would feel guilty and still be left alone. Dogen compares this monk's story to Huinang's, the sixth ancestor. who while a poor woodcutter supporting his mother heard someone recite a portion of the Diamond Sutra and was awakened. He immediately arranged for support for his mother and left to take up practice in the north. In book three, talk number one, Dogen sets the tone and the important theme for many of these discussions. I'll read it to you.

[21:15]

Students of the way, let go of body and mind and enter completely into the Buddha Dharma. An ancient said, at the top of a hundred foot pole, how do you advance one step further? In such a situation, we think we would die if we were to let go of the pole, and so we cling firmly to it. Saying, advance one step further means the same as having resolved that death would not be bad, and therefore one lets go of bodily life. We should give up worrying about everything. from the art of living to our livelihood. Unless we give up worrying about such things, it will be impossible to attain the way, even if we seem to be practicing earnestly, as though trying to extinguish a fire enveloping our heads.

[22:26]

Just let go of body and mind in a decisive manner. This is not just instructions for those pesky days when we find ourselves stuck at the top of a 100-foot pole. This instruction is for all of us all the time, alone or together. For me, the sense of this, just let go of body and mind in a decisive manner, brings to my mind a koan, that I was working on with Tetsugen, Bernique Glassman at the Zen community of New York in 1985. It was time for Norman and I and our eight-year-old twin sons to get in the car and drive back to Green Gulch. But I hadn't gotten the koan yet.

[23:30]

I hadn't understood it. And Tetsugen really wanted me to understand this koan. So he told me the answer. And now I will tell you. The question was something like this. How do you save a person at the bottom of the well without using a rope? After presenting different solutions, including jumping into the well myself, to which Tetsugen said, no, that's no help. Now there are two people in the well needing to be rescued. He pantomimed the answer. He grabbed a rope and lowered it down. Then with full strength, he hauled, grunting and pulling the person down.

[24:35]

out of the well. So the teaching there is that in that situation, who are you going to let tell you that you can't use the rope? It's like if your baby or anyone else's baby falls in the water in front of you, are you going to worry about ruining your new outfit? Or that you feel a little chilly and someone else should handle the situation? Or worry about how you will look jumping in the water, fully clothed? No. In a moment like that, there is no reputation. There is no new outfit. And there is no one else but you to get that baby out of danger.

[25:36]

That is the sense of jumping off the 100-foot pole. It is an act of immediacy, urgency, of courage, of trust, of commitment. It's not part of a plan or a strategy. Clinging to the top of a 100-foot pole is like holding onto that hammer. Why would we think it's a good idea to stay at the top of a 100-foot pole? Why would we think it's a good idea to carry around an armload of tools? It takes courage to let go, to take the step away from the pole,

[26:43]

by opening the hands. This is the depth of commitment to practice and to our lives, just as they are, that Dogen speaks of here. We are not dabbling in our lives. We are not rehearsing now for some quality of life that we'll find later on. This is the one and only moment of life. Finding our practice in each situation, whether it be interpersonal, in our work, in our narrative, in our possessions, in our social concerns and commitments, it's all still focusing on one thing. And here we can really see that one thing is not a thing.

[27:47]

It is our practice, our breath, our heartbeat, our letting go, our courage, our commitment, our tenderness, our love. And it is repetitive, yet it never repeats. Just like life. So thank you very much. And I look forward to your questions. May our intention equally extend to every being and place. with the true merit of Buddha's way. Beings are numberless, I vow to save them.

[28:49]

Delusions are inexhaustible, I vow to end them. Dharma gates are boundless, I vow to enter them. Buddha's way is unsurpassable. I vow to become it. Many thanks to the assembly. For those who would like to offer comments and questions, you can raise your hand using either the participants menu or in the reaction section. And I would like to remind us all of our practice at Zen Center of move. forward, move back, move up, move back. So the idea is to invite conversation with everyone present. If you tend to move forward and speak, consider moving back to make space for others and vice versa. Anita?

[30:55]

It seems we've accidentally muted Kathy. Let's see if we can unmute you. Here we go. Am I back? Back. Okay. Hi. Hi. Thank you for your beautiful talk. I enjoyed it, and I'm enjoying this intensive. I'm a little nervous about talking in public, so... Thank you for understanding. I guess I struggle with breaking out of the habitual pattern of behaving a certain way around my loved ones when they say things that are disturbing to me. And I want to ignore what they say and sort of acknowledge their virtues and at the same time I feel that is in a way a habitual pattern to agree with things that they say that I don't agree with but because I want to be a good daughter I want to agree with them and respect them and yet when I hear them say something that I

[32:20]

I find disturbing or racist or sexist and it raises a lot of emotion in me. I have trouble ignoring it and seeing, you know, finding, figuring out how to respond non-habitually and still speaking my truth. So in light of what you spoke about this this evening, I could really, I could see how, you know, trying to let go and be open is helpful. But if you have any advice on, on how I might be able to deal with that situation, I would appreciate it. Thank you. Well, this is the most difficult thing, you know, being, you know, communicating with our family members when there's deep, very well-known differences among us.

[33:23]

I understand that. And I don't think there's an answer. But I do think that, you know, when someone, when anyone says something in our presence that really pushes our buttons, you know, in a way that we feel justified to have our buttons pushed. We're walking a thin line between just letting it go and ignoring it and confronting the person and basically nailing them and blaming them for the obnoxious view that we see they hold. You know, and I think about, I always come back to how would it be for children? You know, how would it be in a conversation with kids?

[34:25]

Well, you know, with kids, you always start with, I completely accept the person. You know, like in Dogen's statement, you can see that everybody's good and even good people do bad things sometimes. So, you know, you can start, we can always start with, you know, I love you and I accept you. you know in my life and I treasure you or whatever and but what you said really hurts me you know that's how it affects me I just it hurts me to hear those words I just want you to know that that's with kids that I mean nothing always there's nothing that always works of course but to approach it openly and tenderly and be willing to be transparent about our feelings at that moment.

[35:30]

I don't know. Can't hurt. Thank you. Thank you. Was Heidi next? Yes, sir. OK, hi. Thank you. I was I was sort of going in the same direction and and hearing what Anita said got my thinking going a little bit further. But I think the place where I often get stuck, I guess I'll say, is at that moment where I know where I do feel not just in my head, but I feel that hurt. You know, I'm feeling hurt by what's been said by somebody that I do love. And it is helpful at that moment to know, to feel that they're equal to me in the sense that they can equally be heard.

[36:35]

And that's not, you know, where I'm headed. But just sort of recovering. from that almost bodily sensation of being hurt is something I wonder if you had anything more to say. Yeah. Well, I can tell you a little story, a conversation that I had with my dear friend, Dean Mansholt, who lives in the Netherlands and used to be at Zen Center. I was visiting her a few years ago, and I was going on and on about a difficult relationship that I was trying to negotiate. And I said, you know, this person says things that are kind of like shockingly whatever. And she said, and I can't, you know, confront her. I mean, there's kind of like no place for me to be even in the conversation.

[37:38]

And so she said, Just say, ouch. I thought, that's good. It's got a little humor to it. It's completely true. It doesn't attack or threaten the other person, which we know goes very badly and is not our intention anyway. So anyway, I sometimes do the ouch. I mean, nothing. nothing always fits but i think that giving people feedback that that that pain has been inflicted is um and and not with with and you know without blame or attacking back again you know um anyway i think yeah well i [...] It's helpful just because even in you saying it, you know, it's sort of a release instead of, you know, let's talk further about it.

[38:43]

So thank you. I see Joan's hand. Hi, Joan. Hi, Kathy. Thank you for this beautiful talk. I'm wondering if you would share a specific experience you might have had around the answer to the koan that Tetsugan gave you. Well, you know, the koan, the Tetsugan, gave me the scenario is an emergency situation. And I think that sometimes the koans are presented in that way because if anybody who's ever been in an emergency situation probably experienced that, you know, when all of a sudden there's no, you know, things get real simple.

[39:51]

You just do, you know. And, you know, people find that they... have extraordinary strength and they don't know where it came from and, you know, all kinds of stuff happens in an emergency. I think that, you know, I've thought about this and I think that's one of the attractions to people who like to work in the emergency room, that, you know, there's this heightened activity and heightened creativity and just heightened awareness and alertness that must come into play. And to be able to experience that regularly, it must be a source of inspiration, possibly a source of exhaustion too. But for us, I'm not exactly answering your question. I don't think I'm going to be able to think of an experience, a particular experience, except maybe scuba diving.

[40:55]

It happens a lot in scuba diving. In which, you know, there was, you know, the situation required a complete unity of being, you know. But, you know, I think people find it in art. I think people find it in sports. I think people... And I think in our practice, we can find it all around any time. I was struck by the way you pulled up by just your gesture, I guess, of the power of imaginations, what I thought you were also pointing toward. And knowing you, I was thinking, oh, she's had to do this in front of me. classrooms of 13-year-olds for a long time where she was able to pull somebody like really, you know, quickly out of something.

[42:06]

So just, I was very moved by your body language, I guess. You're a good rescue, good lifesaver, I think. Well, I'm getting old. But thank you. Thank you, John. I appreciate that. And I think, you know, I think that part, and those of us who are a little older, I think we probably all feel this, that part of getting older is, you know, each and every moment becomes a little more precious and a little more, you know, kind of heightened. that that you know i think we feel a visceral like you know um i don't know i i don't want to say drive but i can't think of another word but drive to really be present in each moment of our lives because you know we can feel that the number of moments are finite you know they always were but i didn't used to know that so anyway

[43:26]

I recommend getting older. Thank you, John. So, Kaku-san, I believe that brings us to the end of our time for tonight. Would you like to offer a closing word beyond the delights of getting older? Well, I recommend getting older, and I also recommend getting some sleep. So wherever you are, I hope that... you have a way to end your day that can land you into a sound and restful sleep. So good night, everyone, and I wish you well. Good night. Thank you so much. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night, Kathy. Thank you, Kathy. Sleep tight, Kathy. Good night, Kathy. Thank you. Good night. Good night. Thank you.

[44:28]

Thank you, Kathy. Thank you. Oh, hi. Thank you for the gorgeous talk, Kathy. You're welcome. Thank you, Kathy. Thank you. How was the second vaccine? Easy. Very grateful. Great. So different from mine, Emily. I'm just coming off the second vaccine. I had it Saturday. Norman and I have it this coming Saturday. Well, Emily had it. Emily had a great experience. Yes. Very grateful. I had a different kind of great experience. So. Hi, Grace. Okay, I'll see you.

[45:28]

Thank you so much. I love that talk. Thank you. Good night. Thank you. Hi, Audrey and Grace.

[45:45]

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