This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. I folded up my zaku after bowing. Usually it stays there. Yesterday, I picked it up and remembered to put it back down. And today, I only remembered. I only remembered when I put it down here. So I took a moment to kind of relive that gesture in my body to pick it up, fold it up, put it back on my arm, and come over here.

[01:12]

And that part would be completely happy to go back with all of you to the Zendo and just sit down. That's what we do with the sagu when we go to the zendo. We fold it up and put it by our seat and sit down. It's day five. And it's the day for containment. Yesterday I said day four often is kind of the hump day. And then when we are somehow gotten past day four, very often it's been quite intense.

[02:21]

And we get a little bit excited, giddy. spaced out, something. What to do with all that energy, all that stillness, all that what you've been experiencing, the pains, the suffering, the suffering in your life, the suffering that you notice right beside you, that you happen to just be witness to the suffering of the whole universe. Our hearts are kind of just opening up in some ways kind of quite in their own way and in their own pace. They don't go and say, is it okay if I open up a little bit more? They just do.

[03:24]

They open up and close down and open up on their very their very own way. And I want to remind us that we all together are actually creating this event and continue to co-create it. So it needs every single one of us in exactly the place you're in and the way you are. So when we get a little spacey or excited or overtired, which is another form of overexcited, it's really helpful to just try to keep the container. Right now I can't remember where it says in one of the chants we do.

[04:27]

On a regular basis it says don't make up standards on your own. Where is that? Don't make up standards on your own. How is that? Take care of my body and not make up standards on my own. Maintain the container, help. Because the container is actually all of us taking care of ourselves and all beings at the same time. And another form of containment also is posture. Your physical posture and your mental posture are actually

[05:32]

one posture. So, you know, take time to be in your body and find the posture, the upright posture of this moment that is, has energy in it but is intense, that is relaxed but isn't collapsed, that is just right. What is that just rightness for this moment? And what's going on with your mudra? Is it falling apart in your lap? Is it being tense? Or is it just so? And these are all helps to create a container in which All the experiences that are presenting themselves to us can have a space.

[06:44]

Actually, the container is a little bit like Vimalakirti's room. Vimalakirti is a layperson who was also an awake person, and he had this little living room. And in this little living room, all the bodhisattvas and ten thousands and millions of beings just fit into that room. So our body is the room of Vimalakirti. Our heart is the room of Vimalakirti. So when we are in companionship, if we are to... If we are together with our body, if we are one with our body and have this kind of relationship that we don't go, I want to sit this sashim and you, body, you better do it, right? You better stand it through it. That's not the kind of relationship.

[07:48]

It's the one, it's we can only do this together. So how can we do it together? I would like to do it. And how can you do it? So we do it together, because we only come out on the other end together. Not one or the other can do it by themselves. And that's a wonderful, actually, example for the whole universe. We can't do it without everything else around us, too. Everybody in this machine, everybody that's not in this machine, everybody that's living and breathing in this universe. So the posture and the containment, the external containment of the schedule that says, now we go to the Zendo,

[08:51]

Now we go walk. Now we go to Vicky's yoga posture class. Now we go eat in the dining room. Now we go eat oryoki. Now we rest. Now we work. And we don't have to, it's there for us to just fall into, to just let it contain us. Then the physical posture, which is every day and maybe every Zazen slightly different because your body is changing. But to work with that and find the one that helps you be present and use it to be present rather than, oh, I leave you behind because you're painful and I just daydream till the period is over. So where is the meeting place where I can be just with that body, with that maybe blissful feeling, that suffering, suddenly feeling the suffering of the whole universe like Avalokiteshvara and not knowing how to contain it.

[10:20]

But your heart can contain it. It feels like it's breaking, and a broken heart is a heart that can love. Because it's somebody at the Chousseau ceremony in Green Gulch, I think this year or last year, I can't remember, but asked the Chousseau, what do you do with a broken heart? And the Chousseau was quiet for a while and then said... You know, you give the pieces away to all beings, to your friends and all beings. Oh, what do you do with a broken heart? At least you so said something along the lines. She was quiet for a while and then she said, you give the pieces away to your friends and to all beings. It's like your penny.

[11:23]

So our heart is like Vimalakirti's room. It actually can feel all the pain. It doesn't have to hold it, but it can feel it. It doesn't have to hold it, grab it, and then carry it around. But it can feel it when it's there to be felt. So the schedule is the outward skeleton. Then your posture is your physical containment and alignment, which helps your mind be contained and aligned. And that makes us same as Buddha.

[12:32]

Buddha felt exactly what each of us is feeling. He was a human being, like we are. And he found out that by being still and unmovable, that means not being... pushed and pulled around by likes and dislikes and judgments. They were going on, but he wasn't giving them the power to move him off his seat. So yesterday I talked about the stillness and to allowing ourselves to let go of holding on, of ideas about ourselves, others, things, to

[14:01]

you know, when Senju talked about say goodbye to all the familiar feelings, thoughts, just for now, just for those seven days. And that sometimes feels a little scary because so what if I let go of all of that? Will I still there who is it that still will be there will I recognize it will I so there's a poem by which I've read already many times but it always again alive for me and it's by David Wagner and it's a wonderful instruction how to how to be when you find yourself in unknown territory when you feel lost because it's so unfamiliar.

[15:11]

You don't know what it is. The title of it is Lost. Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside you are not lost. Wherever you are is called here. And you must treat it as a powerful stranger, must ask permission to know it and be known. The forest breathes. Listen. It answers. I have made this place around you. If you leave it, you may come back again, saying, here.

[16:11]

No two trees are the same to raven. No two branches are the same to wren. If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you, you are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows where you are. You must let it find you. Wherever you are is called here, and you must treat it as a powerful stranger, must ask permission to know it and be known. That's a kind of a description of surrender. Wherever you are is called here.

[17:19]

Treat it as a powerful stranger. Don't treat it as something you think you know already. So this is even applicable whether you feel lost or not. treat it as a powerful stranger respectfully ask permission to know it and be known let it find you so In another chant we do in the morning, we say, touching and turning away are both wrong, for it is like a massive fire.

[18:25]

So the instruction is, don't lean into it. Don't touch it. Don't make it a definition of yourself. Don't think you know what it is, even though you might think you know what it is. Just keep space open for not knowing that maybe what you think you know is only a little aspect of it, or maybe not even an aspect of it. Maybe it's just a projection. So can we just be not leaning into it and not leaning away from it in any direction? But can we stay present, close, and do nothing?

[19:37]

Wiggling it, meddling it, and worrying it till we think we know what it is. Not turning away. Allowing it to just be whatever. Let this be just But not the what that wants an answer, but the how. This may be a better word. How. How. How is it felt? How is it experienced? How, not what is it. And when you find yourself quiet and still, in the midst of an intense, maybe, or a subtle or whatever experience, you can become curious if you can feel

[21:16]

For me, it's like a feeling of stepping back internally somehow. I don't know exactly how to describe it. But can you feel and tune into the awareness that is aware? So not be aware of what it is aware, but of that which is aware. First, we're learning to be quiet enough so we can be aware of what's going on. And then it's like, can we actually reside in the awareness rather than in what it is aware of, in the object of awareness?

[22:18]

So containment, trying to really support the container of the schedule, the position, the posture of your body, of your mind, also helps us to rest, to actually relax. And when we We need to rest and relax so that whatever reveals itself and shows itself can find its place, its appropriate place. When we hold on to things like all ideas about ourselves are actually holding patterns or attachments or repetitive, continuous things so they're held. So At Green Gulch, I don't know if it was, I don't remember who it was, came and gave a lecture in the 80s and talked about letting go, and that was the gesture.

[23:55]

The person did. And I thought, oh, that's interesting. Take a moment and think, what would be your gesture for letting go? If somebody you had to convey it with a gesture, you probably know what your gesture would be. letting go I sat there and I thought I would have done this if somebody had asked me letting go I would have done this and this person did this and I thought oh that's interesting so I'm holding on like this if I'm holding on like this I actually cannot see what's in my hand really then I let go then it sits there and I can maybe for the first time actually see more fully what it is. And it may fly off, or I may know where to put it. But if I do this, it falls down.

[25:01]

I may not see what it is, and it may be shattered to pieces. Who knows? I mean, it's just such a... It was so helpful for me to... to think of letting go, just letting it be itself and go where it needs to go or know where it belongs. So when we rest in our posture, in all that container we have created over four days now together, when we allow ourselves to rest in there, it helps us to let go and it helps us to heal. So we don't have to do anything about the suffering we're feeling. We don't have to do the beautiful things we're feeling or experiencing.

[26:07]

We can just allow them to just... Be and let them arise and let them go and rest with them. And that will have a healing power. Our bodies have healing capacities. Our minds have healing capacities. And in this culture, resting is not on the top of the list. on days of, what are you going to do? What are your plans? Are you going to work out? What did you do? I just sat there, really? So we're giving ourselves seven days of rest, even though it doesn't feel that way. But a part of us is actually tuning into that, but we may not know it yet.

[27:16]

I just want to express my wordless appreciation for each one of you sitting here with us together and being willing to be yourself and discover how this being is expressing itself and living I do feel that what Trungpa Rinpoche wrote down, or a translation that he often quoted, I feel that this is actually happening in these days here with us.

[28:55]

And the saying is, it's from Maha'ati, the great perfection. Since all things are naked, clear from obscurations, there is nothing to attain or realize. The everyday practice is simply to develop a complete acceptance and openness to all situations and emotions and all people. A complete acceptance and openness to all situations, emotions, and to all people experiencing everything totally without reservations or blockages. And that's what I feel is happening.

[30:02]

That's what I feel everybody is opening up, opening up and letting go of reservations and blockages. And we do that by opening up to the reservations and to the blockages. We don't say, oh, you're a reservation, you're a blockage, go away. We actually, the way is not around, over or under, the way is through. So complete openness means also complete openness when a reservation comes up, when a blockage comes up. And that's what is happening here. Ino-san, what's the time? We have a few minutes if anybody wants to say something or ask something.

[31:17]

Yes, Karen. Yesterday when you talked about silence, I experienced something in the afternoon. I'm wondering if this is How did it feel? Thank you. Yes, Jeffrey. What you're saying is... and become a container for equanimity and acceptance. But how do you approach that without trying to be caught in school, trying to be accepted? What's the tricky way? I mean, it's a slippery slope, isn't it?

[32:30]

I think if we are just willing to be present with how something presents itself to us. It will also show us whether we are accepting or not accepting. And that, if we accept that, we don't have to try. Actually, everything is relational. Everything keeps giving us all the necessary information for it to come to a place of freedom, come to a place of moving toward growth or moving toward blooming or moving towards where it needs to go. And our ideas block some of the...

[33:35]

information that's coming. So to stay close and do nothing and just keep being present, keep being willing to be curious about how is it? What is it? How is it? It will move you and inform you and you will... So you don't have to go, oh, I have to now be accepting or equanimous or... Is that an answer? Yes, Justin. You're talking about actually without the aid and not necessarily go through and just stay in the period and being with uncertainty.

[34:50]

That's also I feel like I can state that for a certain form of suffering, which is also uncertainty, just the uncertainty of being alive. And I feel like I put an aim on my suffering. It has to be something. Something has to hurt. Something has to be happening. So I think, I'm not sure. Yes, and that creates more suffering. That's very aligned with Buddhist teaching that says our tendency to put names and concepts on things is part of the root of our suffering.

[36:01]

We have to do it, but once we have learned how to do it, in some ways we have to unlearn, we have to to see that there is also a way of experiencing without doing that. So if you maybe can just relax around the need to give it a name and just become curious about how this nameless, unshaped, I don't know how it is, but this kind of no-name suffering actually is how is it affecting your body where is it in your body what kind of energy is it what happens when you just relax with it without naming it or letting it name you it just yes Greg um

[37:11]

Some of the gauge effects on the fifth day can be alarming. Well, to put a point on it, I switched to make attention to the sensations of the possibility. Suddenly, I sat for an LNF with no effort. But what the result was, just this amazing sense of energy, which now I'm sort of stuck in. Do you have some suggestion for how to bring it down? I'm smiling because it's wonderful because Trungpa in that Maha Adi talks about that. It actually, when we enter, it releases a lot of energy. You know, some people could not sleep because they were so wired going to bed. So how about you being aware of

[38:12]

you know, you said you went into sensing or sensation. So be aware of your posture while you feel that immense amount of energy. So just feel your body and feel all that energy and just allow it while you feel that you're sitting, you're sitting on your buttocks and your knees are on the ground and you're upright and just rather than trying to But you're not running with it in any direction. When you've noticed your head starts, you know, going off, you just come back. And you can come back by taking a few more deep breaths, willfully, by kind of pressing your mudra a little bit against your belly, you know, so that you feel that connection. But just... Really allow yourself to celebrate that there's so much energy.

[39:16]

Isn't that amazing? Hengi. You mentioned something about my energy when you were going to bed. A couple of nights ago, I was going to bed and I was I feel a little, as if I've been having too much cooking. But again, I have a little bit of coffee during the day, but that's about it. But as I was sort of falling asleep, but not falling asleep, I started dreaming a little bit in that state. And it keeps snapping back, like, I'm dreaming about, I think I'm dreaming about chopping vegetables because I've been working on it. I was working on a kitchen during the day. And then it's night time. He said, oh, no, no, I'm not doing that. I'm in my bed. I'm inside my blanket.

[40:16]

I said, OK, but I want to sleep. And then I dream about another thing. And I keep coming back to realize I'm not there. I'm still sleeping. But I want to sleep. I don't know what's really up to me. A good friend of mine said when he's in Sachin, he also often then had goes to night school. Because during the day, it's a sashim, and during the night, it's a whole other busy, I mean, intense life going on, you know. So welcome to the club. That's the last question.

[41:24]

Than talking? What is the alternative in your mind? And talking are immensely tied to conditioning. So if talk does not come from a still place, it's most of the time self-serving in terms of trying to keep the environment and ourselves in a familiar place from which we think we can manage life.

[42:40]

So it's absolutely the opposite of liberating. Speech can also be liberating. It has to come from a place of silence or stillness. So that's why for seven days we try to move with as little talking as possible. So we said, you know, if you have to talk, you can write the note. But that didn't mean start... writing each other love letters all the time, or just communicating with notes. It's really, this is your opportunity to visit and rest and hang out in the very, very own life you each have in a way that we usually can't.

[43:51]

So that's why we talk about stillness. Thank you very much. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered at no cost and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click Giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[44:30]

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