This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Friends, it is such a deep honor to be here. Thank you so much for having me. I want to invite you to take a moment to look around the room and simply greet eyes with some other friends, Sangha members. Just allow yourself. If we had more time, I would bring all voices into the room, even if it was just one word of what you're present to in this moment. But without that, at least bring your presence into the room for a moment through connecting with others. This is actually an exercise on allowing the absolute and relative realms of experience to not be separate.

[01:06]

What do I mean by that? When I asked David, what should I talk about? One of the things David mentioned was, you speak in your book quite a bit about... the absolute and the relative. And it could be worth expanding upon that here. And so I had a few things that I was considering bringing into the space. And then when I arrived late last night and settled in and then spent the morning here feeling into the presence of this space. All that arose for me to speak about today were my mistakes. And by mistakes, I mean my learnings in practice.

[02:18]

There would have been a time that I would have come into a space like this. And held it as somehow separate from outside the doors. I would have held this space as a representation of the absolute. And for those that are new to this kind of terminology in the room, by absolute, I'm speaking about what's unchanging. I'm speaking about what Zen Master Banke talked about as the unborn mind. When I speak about relative, I'm talking about what's changing all the time. So I would have felt a separation, and I very much felt that separation as a monastic. I very much felt like my experience at the monastery was separate from the rest of the world. I experienced practice as inside those gates, and I felt safe in that separation.

[03:24]

There was a comfort I experienced. And it's extremely touching for me to be in this space now. And to feel this space shining with reality. But not separate from. Not different then. So I scrapped the section of the book that I was going to share about. And I turned to a different section of the book. This separate from experience for me was... This is what I mean by mistake.

[04:26]

It was a distortion. It was a misunderstanding of the teachings that I experienced as a monastic. And that misunderstanding stemmed from me taking the neti-neti approach, the not this, not this, not this approach in practice, and running with it. in such a way that I was actually maintaining a sense of separation. I was maintaining a duality. For example, the duality of the absolute and relative, seeing those things as separate rather than allowing myself to experience reality with a capital R shining through all things. So I thought I'd read this section about something that supported my own journey in reconciling what had appeared to be separate. This section is called turning toward versus turning away.

[05:29]

In your own life, have you ever found yourself identified with a self who's on a mission to annihilate the self? Have you ever found yourself believing you have to get rid of in order to experience truth? Believing that the conditioned mind can take charge and try to control and omit thoughts, experiences, people, is a distortion of the negating approach, the neti-neti approach I was just referring to. We do it in the name of spiritual practice. In my experience, it was all in the name of spiritual practice. Oh, I'm not this, I'm not this, I'm not this, I'm not this. And in that process, the distortion was, and so I have to get rid of this, I have to get rid of this, I have to get rid of this, without recognizing the I that was being maintained through that activity. So one way this distortion tape...

[06:29]

take shape for those new to practice often looks like, oh, I've tried meditation practice, but I could never stick with it. I couldn't ever seem to clear my mind. As if that is the goal of practice, and as if practice requires a sergeant to be in charge of the assigned perceived task. So I want to offer an analogy that I found very helpful in addressing my mistake. and it's from the meditation teacher Rupert Spira. He has an analogy of a self-aware screen and a movie playing on the screen. The screen stands in for the true nature of all things. It's pure consciousness. In a negating approach, the movie is considered to be a distraction from the screen. So in the negating approach, we turn off the movie to see the screen. We turn away from the content of our relative experience. Rupert expands the metaphor to describe what could be referred to as a turning towards approach.

[07:39]

So in this approach, it's recognized that all movies are merely a coloring of the screen. To see the screen clearly, you don't have to turn off the movie. You can watch any movie you'd like on the screen. The content of the movie doesn't change the nature of the screen. In this approach, we turn toward experience, recognizing this experience isn't separate, from what it's arising in, what it's observed by, or what it's made of. So we move towards experience rather than away from it. So this is where we find reality shining in all things, in this turning toward approach. the turning towards approach we look for true nature in all things we see inherent spaciousness in all things we see the reality of all things as we move into experience we recognize ourselves as not separate from experience or to state it without negation we know the unity of all things we learn to see through the movie and we find the screen everywhere

[09:08]

in everything. Turning away and turning toward approaches need not be viewed dualistically. Both approaches lead to the same heart, the heart of awareness, the heart of truth. Both approaches end up with the same recognition, the nature of the screen, the nature of the reality projected onto the screen. All realities share the same reality. The costumes of consciousness. In activity, you hide behind things. In the noise of the world, you appear clothed. In silence, you emerge naked.

[10:14]

In stillness, you are everywhere. In one approach, it could be said that the true nature that true nature can be veiled by the activity of the conditioned mind. In the other approach, this activity is seen to be nothing other than a variation of consciousness within consciousness, a coloring of reality. In the next section of the book here, I go into one of my favorite Zen stories from the Platform Sutra. the Bodhi tree many of you in this room know this story and purely based on me longing to bring us into experience together I'm going to only highlight the most important verse within this section of the book that again many of you I'm sure know

[11:29]

from Wei Nung when he offered an alternative verse. This alternative was offered after Hongren. Maybe I'll actually, to give it more context, for those who don't know this, say what... Hong Ren offered first, the body is the Bodhi tree. The mind is like a clear mirror. At all times, we must strive to polish it and must not let the dust collect. So then along comes Hui Nung, and he offers, there is no Bodhi tree, nor stand of a mirror bright. Since all is void, where can dust alight? While we can understand this story in the context of progressive versus direct path, it's also illuminating to understand this in light of this practice of turning toward.

[13:02]

This story illustrates the truth that all is void or empty, that all is consciousness, and that there is nothing outside this. Given that fundamentally, all is void. There are no things. The void is within all things. All things cannot exist without it. So as mentioned, I'd like to invite an experience now. Enough talking about it. So I invite you to close your eyes or if you're more comfortable, gaze down at a 45 degree angle. And just begin by asking, what is here now?

[14:04]

You might ask what part of you is here now. Whatever is, whoever this is, let it be. And allow whatever is to be exactly as it is. consciously bring in the image of something you tend to believe you don't like. Pick something you don't have a lot of charge around to start with. We could play with feeling lonely, for example. Choose something that's relevant for you. yourself to be quiet and still.

[15:09]

No need to force anything. Just allow. And gently inquire into the nature of this experience, this loneliness, say, or whatever you are working with today, whatever came up for you. Gently explore what self-talk is present. What are you saying to yourself about this experience? See through this self-talk.

[16:15]

Nothing you need to judge or reject. It's transparent. Simply move through it. What emotions are present? feelings are here. And then see through these emotions and feelings. Nothing you need to judge or reject.

[17:15]

swim through them. They are empty. Now consciously explore what's happening in the body. What sensations are present? Is there anything to these sensations other than vibration?

[18:28]

Gently, without judgment, explore this vibration. simply be vibration. Move through it in your mind's eye. Notice how you know this self-talk, these emotions, these sensations.

[19:34]

Surrender the self-talk to the vastness of this awareness. Surrender emotion to this presence. Surrender sensation to being. like a dense cloud expanding, opening, becoming translucent, releasing into the vastness of the open sky.

[21:05]

Self-talk, emotion, sensation, all vibration and vast awareness. Turn toward, move into and through this vibration, not as if you're separate from it. More like the way a drop of water moves into a pond. The way a river flows toward and into the sea.

[22:18]

Move toward, in. Surrender anything that would imply that you are separate from this vibration. Surrender it to presence. The luminous being. Surrender it to the sea. The sea shining with countless drops of water.

[23:35]

These drops all shining with the sea. can be no drop without this water. Even if the drop is colored by something, filled with algae, let's say, the same suchness that is water still shines through. The same suchness, the same being shines through what the mind labels loneliness.

[24:41]

Any experience like loneliness is simply the activity of the mind coloring the vastness of being, but not other than it. and complex creatures we are. We have the capacity to attend to the coloring or what is being colored. We can attend to the experience, the condition mind labels loneliness, the self-talk, the emotion, or we can surrender. to what's always shining through the loneliness. We can surrender

[26:10]

to what's often in the background of our experience seemingly hidden. We can release into being. this moving toward approach, we go into the coloring and what's colored. We go into the heart of all things. We go into the heart of who we are.

[27:13]

We go into infinite being, which is everywhere and nowhere all at once. How is infinite being nowhere? Because it doesn't exist. in a place. It doesn't exist in time. It isn't bound by matter. You don't exist in a place.

[28:33]

You don't exist in time. You aren't bound by matter. that is and everything that isn't is shining with this same being. Therefore, there's nothing to annihilate, nothing to hold at bay, nothing to judge and no one to judge it. can be released to being.

[29:54]

In being. As being. being and find this being in all things. know this being in all things.

[31:28]

Love this being in all things. Thank you. We're going to take a few minutes now to turn to someone near you. And what I'd like to invite you to do is have one person be the compassionate witness. So simply being with the other, not responding, not... I mean, you can nod.

[33:19]

You don't have to be a robot. You're just being present to your partner in the Peace in Schools program in our Mindful Studies class. We call this meeting essence to essence. And so if you're sharing, you're just sharing what's alive for you in this moment, just a minute or two. This is going to be very brief. And then we'll swap. And as you're being present to your partner, I want to invite you to Rest the intention in being as being. So if you have any of the kind of training that I have received, sometimes your attention might be on noticing, on a more negating approach, noticing the conditioned mind, recognizing you're not that, sort of focusing the attention on not this, not that, not this, not the, that. In this turning towards approach, now with another person, in a relational way, I invite you to surrender the attention to being.

[34:29]

Again, resting in being as being. Leading essence to essence as your partner shares. And if you're like, I have no idea what you're talking about, lady, that's fine. Just enjoy your partner. Just allow yourself to enjoy this beautiful being who's here to talk to you. Okay. Turn to someone near you. And you can pass if you're like, yeah, I'm not feeling this today. And just the person with the shortest hair will begin. Okay. And so person number one, please begin. Just what you're present to? What's alive here now? The other person simply receiving.

[35:31]

Beginning to wrap up that person and then switching partners if you haven't already. So person number two, please. And winding down your conversation with your partner.

[39:38]

Thanking your partner. Thank you, friends. It's such a delight to me. You had so much to share with each other, even if you were just talking about what's happening in our government right now. No, really, it's incredible to feel the richness of the energy of your conversations. We are going to take a break now, and I'm looking forward to continuing this conversation. I'm looking forward to engaging with you with Q&A. So for those of you who I know are new here today, the structure is to leave for about five minutes and then come back into the hall and have Q&A. So please... Let's break now. And I think I'm supposed to bow a lot and do some other things to leave, but I can't remember what.

[41:07]

So I'm going to bow. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered at no cost, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click Giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[41:35]

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