This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. So far this year I've been studying, I've been focusing, studying, and practicing on in accord with a song a song called in some translations called the song of the precious mirror samadhi or the song of the precious mirror awareness which is sung here sometimes, right?

[01:05]

and sung at many other Zen temples around the world. It's a song coming from an awareness that's called a precious mirror awareness. Another way to say it is the precious mirror awareness is the awareness of what we call Buddhas. It's a song coming from the awareness of Buddhas. Another way to say it is that it's a song about what we call in this temple Zazen. It's a song about our practice. It's a song coming out out of our practice.

[02:08]

And it's a song telling us how to practice. It's telling us about the practice and it's a song emerging from the practice, the practice of the precious mirror awareness, the practice of Buddha awareness, the practice of zazen. Is that enough? More? More? Here's a little more. The song starts like this. The teaching of suchness intimately

[03:11]

communicated Buddha ancestors. The way we usually say it is the teaching of suchness is intimately communicated by Buddhism ancestors. But if you look at the original poem in Chinese, you could also say teaching of suchness, intimate transmission, Buddhas and ancestors. Those are three different ways to talk about the same thing. The teaching of suchness It's true the teaching of suchness is intimately transmitted.

[04:15]

But it's also, I think, true that the teaching of suchness is intimate transmission. The teaching of suchness is an intimate communion. It's not like Buddha's have this teaching of suchness before they start communicating. And then they communicate it. The teaching of suchness arises, it arises, it dependently co-arises in the communication. The intimate entrustment of this teaching is the teaching. And it often says, by Buddhism ancestors. Well, yes. But actually, also, no. There's not like intimate entrustment and Buddhism ancestors.

[05:24]

Intimate entrustment is Buddhism ancestors. Our practice... is Buddha awareness. Our practice is an intimate transmission. Our practice is Buddhas and ancestors, which completely includes all of us because we are intimately related with Buddhas, Buddha ancestors. We are, the teaching of suchness is, nothing's more intimate to us than the teaching of freshness. That's what we really are. We are the teaching of suchness. We are Buddhas and ancestors. We are intimate communion. That's how the poem starts. That's how the song starts.

[06:25]

Teaching of suchness. Mind of Buddha. Intimately entrusted. Buddhas and ancestors. And then... After saying what we're talking about here, what are you talking about? We're talking about our practice. What's our practice? Our practice is an intimate communion between all of us humans, between all humans and all nonhumans, between all humans and all Buddhas. That's our practice. And then it says... Now you have it. The teaching of suchness, intimately communicated as Buddhas and ancestors, now you have it. Now you have it. That's what the song says.

[07:26]

You now have this practice. You had it earlier today, too. I don't know if you heard about that. Did you? Did you sing it this morning during service? You don't remember? Yes. You did sing it? Yes. Wow. You sang it, so you did hear about that earlier today. Did you notice that you were told you have this intimate transmission? Did you notice that? I don't want to get personal. Anyway, it was the situation this morning, it's the situation now, and it's always the situation that the teaching of the Buddha is intimately entrusted and you have it now. And then it says, so, take care of it.

[08:31]

Nurture it. What are you going to take care of? An intimate communion among all beings. What are you going to be taking care of? That's been given to you? The teaching of suchness. What are you going to take care of? Or I should say, what are you being instructed to take care of? What are you being admonished to take care of? Buddhas and ancestors. What's Buddhas and ancestors? Is there somebody over there? No. Is there somebody over here? No. What is it? It's an intimate communication between here and there and everywhere. Now you have it. Please take care. Is that enough? Here we go.

[09:45]

May our intentions equally stand to every being and place where the truth will be added upon the helpless way. Beings are numberless. I am proud to say that With your shepherds are very insufferable, I have given my own thoughts to read them. Though I am not on the gates, I have given my own thoughts to read them. But I have given my own thoughts to read them. But I have given my own thoughts to read them. But I have given my own thoughts to read them. I have given my own thoughts to read them. How's the practice going? Do you know how to take care of it?

[10:52]

Working on it. How? How do you work on it? Just keep showing up. Showing up. How do you show up? Like this. One way. The song goes on. and it gives instructions about how to take care of it and one of the things it says is turning away or touching are both wrong turning away from what? from intimate entrustment turning away from it rejecting it, that's no good How about touching it? Be devoted to it without clinging to it.

[11:59]

Take care of it without clinging to it. Oftentimes we can not cling to things that we don't take care of. But when we start taking care of things, or when things start taking care of us, we sometimes slip into clinging. So how do we take care of this teaching of suchness? By being upright with it. By circumambulating. Walk around it all the time. Don't move towards it or away from it. Because you can't move towards it because it's where you are now. And you can't move away from it because it's where you are now. You cannot get away from where you are now. Give up trying to control this wonderful Buddha mind.

[13:10]

The psalm goes on and says this intimate communion This teaching of suchness acts, it acts as a guide for all beings. Its use, the use of this teaching, the use of this Buddha ancestor, the use of this intimate entrustment relieves all misery. It's like a great mass of fire. Don't reject it. Don't try to control it. But be with it intimately, uprightly. Don't get excited about it. Don't be obsessive compulsive about it. Don't be rigid about it. What to do about it.

[14:14]

Perform it. How do you perform it? Sit upright with it. Walk upright with it. Breathe upright with it. Think upright with it. Feel whatever you are. Be with it. I heard some intelligent person said Zen is ritual plus psychoanalysis. So this teaching of suchness which has been given to you

[15:26]

It's already been given to you, and that's it. However, we're also being told to take care of it. Apparently it needs to be cared for. If we don't care for what's given to us, we won't realize what's given to us. Without taking care of the Buddha ancestors as given to us, we will not realize Buddha ancestors that have been given to us. How do we take care of it? By performing it. Performing what? Performing the teaching of suchness. Performing intimate communion. Performing Buddha awareness. Performing Buddha sitting. Performing Buddha walking. Performing Buddha standing. Performing Buddha thinking. Performing Buddha talking. Whatever you think, let that thought be the performance of this Buddha awareness.

[16:36]

Whatever posture you take, let that be the performance of this inconceivable intimate communion which you have, which you are. So when we sit in this hall, we have the opportunity to sit as the performance the Buddha awareness the performance of the Buddha mind and we can we being human beings we can have a perception an idea of the performance like right now I have the idea that I'm sitting upright cross-legged on this platform looking at my friends I have that idea And that idea is my performance of something which is not my idea.

[17:39]

The intimate communion between us is not my idea of the intimate communion. Nobody's idea is that intimate communion. We cannot do this intimacy. We cannot consciously perform... but we can't actually consciously realize what we're performing. But we must perform it. Because if we don't perform it, we will not realize it. So the basic practice is performing Buddha's enlightenment with body, speech, and mind in ordinary consciousness. In my ordinary consciousness, I imagine that all of you have ordinary consciousness.

[18:42]

And that, although I don't know what you're imagining in your ordinary consciousness, I think you are imagining a world. And that imagination is your consciousness. That world is your mind. I don't know if you all think you're in a Zendo in the mountains. Some of you might. I'm thinking that. Anybody else? A couple of people nodding. Some other people maybe someplace else. That's fine. The teaching of suchness is not exactly... is not your consciousness. But you who have a consciousness, which is not this transmission, you have this transmission. But this transmission is not confined to your consciousness.

[19:48]

Your consciousness, my consciousness, is a reduced, enclosed, confined, very limited version of our life. But it's also wonderful because we can hear the teachings in this space of consciousness. And in this consciousness there seems to be somebody here and that somebody here is appearing in a deceptive, false way with much more unity than is actually there. So there seems to be somebody here who appears to be something like a unit or an independently existing self in this world. This is the way it is in consciousness. And in consciousness we need to perform this practice in order to be liberated from this misconception that we are separate from others, for example, that we exist

[21:05]

in the way we appear to exist in consciousness. The way we actually exist is interdependently. But the way we exist interdependently does not appear in consciousness. The way we appear in consciousness looks as though it could be grasped. And if we grasp the way we appear in consciousness and if we grasp the way other people appear in consciousness. That is the source of suffering. At dinner, somebody said, what's the... I think what's the... In the big picture, what's the cause or what's the source of conflict? Was that the question? Source or what? Origin. What's the origin of conflict? And I said, ignorance. In our karmic consciousness, we are ignoring the way we're actually related.

[22:13]

And we're looking at a false version of our relationship. But that ignorance is the source. And then, if we grasp how things appear in consciousness, then we suffer. So based, then we have conflict. So based on ignoring our inconceivable relationship with all beings by ignoring that and seeing a conceivable version of our relationship with all beings or each being by seeing an idea of our relationship as our relationship and then grasping that then we have conflict. So this teaching is saying you have this teaching take care of it. How do you take care of it? Well, partly by not turning away or touching anything. And that would be the same way to relate to your true relationship.

[23:17]

Train to loosen up the rigidities around the ideas in consciousness. So, for example, again, perform enlightenment when you're sitting perform enlightenment when you're standing and then notice that you have an idea of sitting and an idea of standing and then see if there's any clinging around the sitting or grasping around the sitting and probably there is because almost everything that appears in our consciousness in our ordinary consciousness Not in our Buddha awareness. In our Buddha awareness, things do not look like you could get a hold of them. The way things appear in your actual intimate relationship, they don't look like candidates for rigidity.

[24:21]

It looks like... I'd like to be outside with this thing, but I can't figure out any way to do it. It's so flowing and... Inconceivable, I can't figure out how I'd be uptight about it. But in consciousness, things look like opportunities for rigidity. And the teaching is saying, don't turn away from that rigidity and don't touch it. Don't try to control it and don't ignore it. Be intimate with everything you think and intimate with all the rigidities around, which isn't deep. Actually, these false appearances are also the intimate transmission. But appearing in a deceptive way, which makes us want to control them or give up.

[25:27]

This is the psychoanalyst part. Psychoanalysis is to become aware of the rigidities around our ideas and to let go of the rigidity and just let the ideas be ideas. Now just let the ideas be opportunities to grasp and pass up on the opportunity. And if you want to help yourself become free of the rigidities around your ideas of your life then become aware of your rigidities. And if you want to help other people become aware of your rigidities. Show them how you became aware of yours or you're aware of yours so that they can become aware of theirs. In this way we can give up resisting performing enlightenment in an upright fashion.

[26:50]

Because again, if we try to perform it, we think, oh, this is the performance. Yeah? And then we think that that's actually true, and we grasp it. And that's not the performance. The performance is just the performance. It's not thinking that the performance is the performance. The performance is not holding on to the performance or letting go of the performance. It's just the performance. But we resist just the performance. So then we have to do psychoanalysis in order to give up the simple performance of our intimacy. Somebody told me that he had been thinking about me for years but never met me.

[27:57]

He thinks about me when he reads books with my name on the outside. He thinks about me when he watches me on the internet and listens to me. And he was actually looking forward to meeting me. That's how Sahara, he heard I was going to come. And he was looking forward to meeting me. And he was walking around the mountains thinking of having conversations with me before he met me. Intense conversations. And while he was having these conversations, I think he thought, you know, I hope when I meet him he's just walking around Tassajara someplace looking at the hills or something. And while he was thinking that, he looked up and I was standing in front of him. And he was so happy because I was just looking at the hills.

[29:01]

that's a story about something that happened here recently somebody came to see me and they said how do I know that the that the path of being a priest or how do I know that being a Zen priest is the right path for me and I said something like Well, let me tell you, I don't know. I don't know how we would know that being a Zen priest is the right path for us. I have never known that being a Zen priest was the right path for me. I have never known really what the path of a Zen priest is. But from almost exactly 45 years ago in this valley I asked Suzuki Roshi to ordain me as a Zen priest.

[30:26]

And he said basically, okay. At that time I didn't know what a Zen priest was. But I wanted to be one. And I still don't know what a Zen priest is. And I still want to be one. But I'm not sure that tomorrow I will want to be one. Probably, you know, right? If I was a betting woman, you know, I would bet on tomorrow I will be wanting to be a Zen priest still. Again. Again. Do you want to be Zen priests? You don't have to know what they are to want to be one. Do you want to be Zen students? Do you want to take care of the intimate communion, which is Buddha's awareness, which you have already been given, whether you like it or not?

[31:34]

If you want to, then take care of it, because you've got it already. And the way to take care of it is to perform it, make your actions the performance of it, and then check out any rigidity around the performance, like knowing that you know what the performance is. I do not know how to perform it, but I want to. I sit here and I want this to be the performance, but I don't know for sure that this is the performance, because I don't know if maybe there's not some rigidity. and resistance to the performance performance and psychotherapy psychotherapy I'm talking about psychotherapy somebody said to me I find myself about ready to commit to about six months of intense meditation practice and I have this feeling like I might be making a

[32:46]

terrible mistake and I said to him I think it would really be good if you would be open to the possibility that six months of intense meditation might be a terrible mistake I think that would be apropos of Buddha's awareness In Buddha's awareness, there is openness to the possibility that six months of intense meditation would be a terrible mistake. Also, guess what else is in Buddha's awareness? Openness to the possibility that six months of intense meditation in this valley would be a really wonderful thing. would be the most marvelous thing possible for you.

[33:48]

Be open to that. That's like psychoanalysis. Check to see, is there openness around here to whatever, if not, you're not ready to perform enlightenment. There's some rigidity in that lack of openness. But that's not the end of the story. Be kind to that rigidity. Bring it out in the open. Be loving to it. Get somebody else to love it with you. But, again, when you start that you might notice there's some resistance to bringing it out in the open and getting somebody to love it with you. A young mother in the valley here was in the kitchen, working in the kitchen and they were reciting a Zen text and part of the teaching there was

[35:10]

about a mind which is sometimes called grandmother mind, and sometimes it's called parental mind. It literally is old, old mind, but it's understood as old woman, in other words, grandmother mind. What's grandmother mind like? Grandmother mind is like, you don't try to think of your grandchildren all the time. You don't go like, don't forget the grandchildren, don't forget the grandchildren. You're just walking around thinking of the grandchildren all the time. You're just like, I wonder how they're doing. I wonder if they got to sleep last night. It's fun to always think of them. But this young woman was not a grandmother. But she also is

[36:10]

who doesn't try to think about her children all the time, but she does. But she's not a grandmother. So it's not so much fun. So she's got the, I always think about it, Dom. But there's, but when the kids are screaming, it's hard to listen to the scream with no rigidity. Like, that's a scream, and I know what that scream is. Or that's a scream, I know what that scream is, and try to reject it. The other one is try to control the scream into not a scream. This is quite natural. And I said to her, well, there's fight. there's fight, fight the scream, and there's flight, and there's also faint.

[37:17]

Fight, flight, faint. With what? With the great ball of fire. This is psychotherapy. How do you, if you are blessed with having this ball of fire in your face, and you are, and you feel it, That's great. Now how can you be there and not fight it, run away from it, or pass out? And now that's with your children who you naturally think of all the time. Now what about this precious mirror awareness? How is that going to be in your face the way the children are in the mind of the grandmother? You can't force yourself to remember and hope that that will make you like the grandmother. The grandmother does not force yourself to remember.

[38:21]

She understands. Now I have it. So we would do well to find this parental mind, which is the mind which naturally remembers Buddha awareness as the main thing we need to take care of for the welfare of all beings. And then, once you realize how important it is, don't fight it, don't run away from it, and don't faint. Well, how do you do that? By noticing that you're trying to run away from it, notice that you're trying to fight it, and notice that you're about to pass out. And if those intense things aren't happening, you get a moment of doing your job.

[39:23]

Once again, now you have it. Take care of it. The way you take care of it is make your life activity, the performance of it. And also, listen to the fact that most of us are resisting what has been given to us, what is being given to us. Most of us are resisting it. And resistance is not appropriate, but it's going on. So we need to be aware of the resistance to our natural gift of this teaching. We need to be kind to our resistance. And we have to notice it to be kind to it. And then we need to be generous with it as part of the kindness.

[42:03]

We need to be ethically conscientious with it. Don't try to kill the resistance. Don't try to get somebody who's not resistant to be here. Don't steal a non-resistant person to take your place. Don't lie about the resistance. Don't misuse sexuality in response to the resistance. Don't let misuse of sexuality be an enactment of resistance. Don't intoxicate yourself. Don't say bad things about the resistance. Don't put yourself above it or below it. Don't resist in the form of being possessive of what you have. Give it away. Don't be angry at your resistance because resistance is the suffering of the world.

[43:14]

Resisting this reality is our suffering. But we should be kind to this naughty resistance which is causing so much trouble. We should be patient with the pain of it. over and over again resisting deeply respect this resistance treat it as though it were the most precious thing in the world because it is not separate from the most precious thing in the world not the slightest bit separate and although it's not separate We need to be so kind to it that it just drops away. And then all there is is the performance of the teaching, the performance of the intimate communion. The non-resistant mind is open to the possibility that it was a terrible mistake to come here tonight.

[44:39]

Non-resistance to the teaching of suchness is to be open to the possibility that it was wonderful being here tonight. But it's not grasping that it was wonderful. And it's not grasping that it was a terrible mistake. It's open to both. Is there openness to both? Am I open to that it was a terrible mistake for me to come here tonight? Well, I don't know. I'm open to the possibility that I'm open to it. I'm open to the possibility that it was a terrible mistake for me to say what I said. And in that openness, I feel very, very happy. And I want to be open again to the possibility that it was a terrible, that everything I've done so far was a terrible mistake.

[45:55]

And I also completely want to be open to the other side is that everything I've done has been wonderful. That this life, which I don't really know what it is, this life as a Zen priest, which started 45 years ago in this valley. And before I was ordained, 48 years ago in this valley, I came here and met the flies. today there was almost no flies. It's like Nirvana. In those days, there were gazillions of flies. They had meat. They had a lot of meat in this valley. It was a lot of flies. I didn't like this place. But I was here 48 years ago. And I'm just, it's been, I'm open to that.

[46:57]

I'm open to it having been the most marvelous 48 years. I'm so blessed to have these 48 years. I'm so happy to have these 48 years. And I'm more happy, I'm more and more happy not knowing what these 48 years have been. And if you say I've been a bad Zen priest, I'm so happy to be open to hear you say that. I'm not happy to believe that what you said is true. I'm not. And I'm not going to. And if you tell me that I've been a good Zen priest for part of that 45 years, I'm not happy to believe that. And I'm trying not to... I'm not saying anybody said that. People do say, thank you for staying here for 45 years.

[47:59]

And I say, you're welcome. I don't know if I really have been here for 45 years. So I told you that story, but I don't know if that's really true. I might have been here 46 years. I might have counted wrong. But counting right is not something to be rigid about. But we do count. Probably. Maybe some of you don't. But if you do count in your consciousness, let that counting be the performance of the Buddha way which you have been given. And be aware if there's any rigidity around counting. If there is, seek

[49:03]

a psychoanalyst. Somebody you can go to and say, I noticed I'm counting and I'm quite rigid about it. I think 2 plus 2 is 4 and I think that's really true. And I'm not into acknowledging that that's just within some axiomatic system of arithmetic. And that outside of that it's You know, it has no reality. I'm not into that. I'm like, 2 plus 2 is 4. There's a little girl in the valley here now. I call her my leader. I don't think she has yet learned the arithmetic principle of 2 plus 2 is 4 or 2 plus 2 is 4 because 1, 2 and then 1, 2 brings you to four.

[50:05]

I don't think she's into that yet. But when she does get into it, I'm pretty sure she will say, that is true, and she will be rigid about it. And if I would say two plus two is five, I would give. Or if I would say, but that's only within this axiomatic system, she would not tolerate that openness. So this teaching, and I'm not telling her either that The teaching of suchness has been intimately communicated by Buddhism's ancestors, and now you have it. I'm not telling you that. She doesn't want to hear that yet. But you are adults, and I think it's okay for you to know what you have been given. And I think it's okay for you to consider taking care of it. Because it's... its use will relieve all suffering for all beings.

[51:07]

So if you want to help this world of suffering, you've got what it takes. But you need to take care of it. And there's resistance to taking care of it. So it's going to be hard. There's going to be stress. So we have to be kind to the stress. But it's possible. And we have lots of... innumerable stories of the ancestors who got this intimate entrustment and they resisted too. And they suffered with their resistance. And they got over their resistance. And they sang the song. You too can sing this song in your own way. So I'm not going to give another lecture tonight. This is it. That's it. It's over.

[52:08]

Okay. Really. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit SSCC.org and click giving.

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