This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. And welcome to Zen Center. Sometimes that corner over there, the speaker is competing with the traffic noise, so... I'm losing that competition, you can put your hand up. Yesterday I had a meeting in this very hall with a number of people to rehearse the ceremony we're going to do this afternoon.

[01:00]

I set the time of the meeting at 3.30. And my logic was this. I was teaching somewhere else. And I was going to teach until 3 o'clock. And in the past, when I've left that place, Redwood City, in the evening, when there was no traffic, I could do the drive in 30 minutes. So I thought, well, Friday afternoon in the evening commute, of course I'll be able to do it in 30 minutes. So I set the time for 3.30. And amazingly, I didn't make it here by 3.30. And later I marveled at the foolishness, the kind of the way in which what we want to have happen can sometimes take precedence over the reality of what we're dealing with.

[02:16]

I got here, I did leave, actually I left a little before three, which I thought was good, but five minutes, and I got here at 4.15. which is probably pretty average for the traffic on a Friday afternoon. And then I apologized to the people I'd kept waiting. And it reminded me of something someone told me recently. They had the good fortune to be the Dalai Lama's assistant while he was visiting. And they thought, well, I'll see if I can sneak in a question to the Dalai Lama. And they said, Your Holiness, can I ask you a question? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, ask me a question. And he says, Your Holiness, how do you practice with anger?

[03:23]

I mean, how does one practice? Oh, very, very simple, very, very simple. And he said, I know, he was thinking, now... I'm going to have a pearl of wisdom that I'll be able to repeat. It's very, very, very, practicing with anger, very, very simple. Yes? Apologize. That way in which you can persist with whatever it was you were thinking or feeling or how the word appeared to you, when something presents itself, when irrefutable evidence presents itself showing you, you know, that wasn't such a great idea. That wasn't such a great response or strategy. You can become defensive.

[04:25]

you can say, well, it's not my fault, it's the traffic's fault, or you all should have done something else and whatever. Or you can just apologize. Sorry. What was I thinking? How did I end up there in that notion, in that strategy? And it seemed to work pretty well. So I recommend it. I'd also recommend, I've heard it said in communications, that if you want someone, if you want to communicate something, say it five times. I think it works with apologizing too. To get your message across, repeat it. The incident also reminded me of another teaching I had the benefit of hearing.

[05:38]

I was teaching with a good friend who's a Dharma teacher, also a Benedictine monk, and he described leisure as giving everything, every activity, the time it needs. And I thought it was a wonderful statement because indeed, if we give something the time it needs, there's a kind of a spaciousness. I have to drive to San Francisco in the afternoon commute. An hour and a half? I would probably cover it with time to spare. And then... You get snarled in the traffic and you're still on schedule. Things are still happening according to plan. Giving each activity the time it needs.

[06:43]

And then there's a discipline in it. What if I don't want to? What if I actually want to get to San Francisco in 30 minutes? I had this notion, okay, well, I have to do that, and then after that I have to do this, and then I have to do this. It would work really well if I got there in 30 minutes. To me, it exemplifies part of the proposition, the request of practice. In some ways, there's this utterly obvious self-evident truth. You are where you are. You are being the person you're being in the moment.

[07:45]

You are thinking the thoughts, having the feelings, manifesting the behaviors that you are in the moment. Now, whether you like it or don't like it, whether you prefer it to be different, well, that's a whole other question. But there it is. It's this obvious statement. And then sometimes we can hear, give each thing the time it needs. And it's like, yeah. And then it can reach out into our lives. how do I engage all the multiple demands, requests, hopes, preferences of my life with a disposition that just says, okay, this, this, this...

[08:48]

And how do I interweave that with the preferences, the likes, the dislikes, the urgencies, the distractions? And now almost all of us have a distraction machine in our pocket. That we call a smartphone. I was recently traveling and I was into a restaurant to meet someone, and it was what looked like a family, two mother and father and three teenage children. And they all had their phone, and they were all like this, sitting around the table, all like this, and oblivious to each other, in that moment. In a strange way, it looked like a harmonious family scene.

[09:55]

Nobody was arguing with anyone. That way in which the simple, obvious request, do what you're doing, give each thing the time it needs, and then the stuff of a human life. that rises up in such a multiplicity of expressions. So that's the introduction to a koan, as in exchange, that I wanted to mention. And here it is. A monk named Huichao

[10:55]

asked Fa Yan. Hui Chao asked the teacher, what is Buddha? Fa Yan said, you are Hui Chao. But I'm this person who has preferences. We'd rather it happen this way than that way. And who sometimes... is foolish, misguided, distracted enough to think, yeah, it's possible to drive from Redwood City to San Francisco on a Friday afternoon in 30 minutes. And I have heard the teachings. And I appreciate them. I really do. Huichao, in a way we could understand it, he's not asking about, well, from dropping off the self, from the transcendent realization of interbeing beyond thought, what is Buddha?

[12:17]

Those glorious moments where... we're fully engaged in being the moment. Yeah. They're profoundly instructive. Often transformative. The power of now. Okay, wonderful. But what about... when the teachings that come from that meet this person in this life, functioning within all the influences that that creates. When that person asks, what is Buddha? When that person sees the interface of the teaching, of the dharma, of the truth of what is,

[13:27]

when that interfaces with the very stuff of a human life, the very stuff of a human engagement in a human life, then what is Buddha? So Huichao says, me being me, and here I am saying I'm me. Listen. I'm saying, hui cao, asks the teacher. I'm not asking from a transcendent position. I'm not asking in the abstract. I'm saying, how does a person, in this case, me, this one, experience, realize, be guided by, be supported by, this notion, of a weakness that's inherent in our human consciousness.

[14:36]

So, in some ways, the question's powerful because of the modesty of the questioner. I'm not here because of my great accomplishment. Then I see the dependent co-arising, the interconnectedness of all things, the impermanence, the ever-changing nature of all things. I'm asking from the place of something says, me. Sometimes arrogantly, sometimes foolishly, sometimes fearfully, sometimes quizzically. Me?

[15:48]

What am I talking about when I say me? That person is asking, What is practice? And Fa Yan says, you are that person, that person, that way of being, that place, of standing in your own shoes, of seeing the nature of what is, accepting it, acknowledging it, not turning away from it, not demanding that it be transcended with exalted superpowers. That person is Buddha.

[16:51]

And interestingly, this ceremony we're having today, and by the way, the rehearsal was a disaster. Quite wisely, half the people in the rehearsal left. But we're still going ahead with the ceremony. And at the start of this ceremony, it says... In English, we translate it as either trusting we are Buddha or trusting you are Buddha. And I suspect that Chinese being the way it is, the personal pronoun was not there. So trusting Buddha. Trusting Buddha... We enter, you enter Buddha's way.

[18:11]

Trust in Buddha, entering Buddha's way. And this word trust is... In Sanskrit, the word is shraddha. So it covers from... trust, confidence, commitment in, faith in. Sometimes it's likened to, like when you're really thirsty and you drink water, you trust that water quenches thirst. Trusting Buddha, we enter a Buddha's way.

[19:13]

How can we apologize if there isn't something we trust more than the embarrassment, the assault to our self-importance, or whatever it is that makes apologizing you know, not accessible or not appropriate or somehow offensive. What is it we trust when we apologize? Sorry, I'm late. And then... everyone was very gracious. Oh, don't worry, don't worry, we all understand. No, no, I'm sorry. I know you understand, I know you're not going to be resentful and angry and vengeful.

[20:16]

But still, I'm sorry, you know. I didn't, I want you to know, I didn't mean harm. I want you to know that I respect your time and value it not to be so flippant as to keep you standing around for 45 minutes. What is being trusted when that's an appropriate proposition? trusting Buddha. Dogen Zenji, the founder of this style of Zen, says, when you experience yourself where you are, practice occurs, actualizing the fundamental point of practice.

[21:23]

When you experience yourself where you are, that very engagement reveals something. The power, the authenticity, the validity of now. This is what is. And can we act in a way that gives it the time it needs? And in Zen practice, we experiment, we explore with momentary awareness. Okay, can I give lifting this book the time it needs? And then we make a big fuss about it. You lift the book, we say, when you're lifting light things, lift them as if they were heavy.

[22:24]

What a heavy book. And when you lift heavy things, lift them as if they were light. Don't strain, don't struggle. Give yourself over. So we explore with momentary awareness, being the moment, engaging it fully. In the hope, in the aspiration that it teaches us something about being any moment, about being any experience. Whether it's as complex as driving up 101 in the afternoon rush hour, or as having a difficult conversation with someone. or relating to your own inner workings.

[23:31]

I remember quite a while ago, I decided I would read the Sunday paper, back in the days when we did such things. I had the notion, well, this is like an expansive, leisurely activity. Read the paper without any agenda. Read those obscure, interesting articles that you normally don't have time to because you're too busy with whatever it is you're busy with. And in the middle of reading the paper, I noticed... there was a little nagging part of me that wanted to get it done, wanted to accomplish.

[24:41]

In some way or another, I find it very instructive. Even in the middle of the vow to just be, to just be something that I thought I enjoyed. This is a moment for me. In the midst of all my demanding, busy life, an oasis of timeless leisure, just reading the Sunday paper. And then this little voice sneaks in. Are you done yet? I just skip that article and go on, there's probably a better one. And then Hui Chao says, including that, not setting that aside, not saying, well, that's not it, but including that, what is Buddha?

[25:53]

And this is the initiation in the Zen process. We have a variety of ceremonies, and most of them start with that, this sentiment. Suzuki Roshi, the finder of Zen Center, called it beginner's mind. Okay, here I am, being me, in the life I'm living. How do you practice with that? And Fa Yan says, be the life you're living. Be what is. Study that, discover that, realize that. In momentary experience, and in the complexities and challenges of your life.

[27:03]

See it everywhere and anywhere. And what does it ask of you? Nothing special. Just your whole life. Just everything you think and feel and do. That's all. So... In this ceremony, you know, we say, trusting Buddha, enter Buddha's way. And we say to the people in this ceremony, nothing special, just everything you are and do. And through some extraordinary and marvelous, mysterious set of circumstances, they say, Yes. Maybe they've come to realize that no other answer satisfies or addresses the human condition.

[28:12]

As Oscar Wilde said, you might as well be yourself, everybody else has taken. so obvious, so unavoidable, and yet so mysterious and challenging. And how to allow that to be just that. Okay. Yes. What is Buddha? You are. This moment is. This expression of being. Driving in the traffic, being late, apologizing, being told it doesn't matter.

[29:28]

It's all Buddha. Buddha. in the tender nature of our human existence, what is it to trust that? What is it to let something release and breathe in? And how do we learn that? How come these three people want to publicly say, yes, I will. And in our tradition, we say, through the fortuitous generosity and wisdom and compassion of others, somewhere, somehow in their life, this notion of practice came across.

[30:35]

Sometimes we say, it's Buddha meets Buddha. You hear the teaching when something in you hears it. You hear the teaching when it arises in the moment that you participate in. But still, there is the generosity of receiving. And so we honor that, we appreciate that. And then we muse. We muse and, well, how come? I've heard the teaching. The person who I heard say, just give everything the time it needs. I consider him a dear friend. I consider him a mentor. I consider him a marvelous example of practice.

[31:37]

When I heard it, something in me softened and breathed in. So it is. So it is. Simple words, refined expression. And yet, faced with a Friday afternoon, I declared that it took 30 minutes to drive from Redwood City to San Francisco. We acknowledge the human condition. Okay, I could be embarrassed, ashamed. I could try to deny it. I could try to blame it on somebody else. That traffic was terrible. These roads are a disgrace. Those traffic lights, they were completely against me.

[32:42]

the marvelous creation and inventiveness of our mind when things happen the way we don't want them to. And we entrust them with the solution or aversion to that, we entrust it with being the process of creating happiness and absence of suffering, liberation and awakening. Can we pause? Can we look at that? Not with shame or guilt, resentment, embarrassment, but just... So this is the attitude of that acknowledgement. And as appropriate, we apologize. Sorry. As the Dalai Lama says,

[33:50]

Oh, anger, very, very easy, very, very easy. Actually, he strung my friend along a little bit. He said, very, very, very easy, very, very easy. And my friend was thinking, yes, yes, come on, come on. He said, very, very easy. And then he delivered it. Apologize. With the wrong attitude, it feels like you're being dismissed. It feels like you're being put down. It feels like you're being rebuked. It feels like who you are is being denied. With the right attitude, it's like, well, of course. This is how it is for us as humans. So we do this, And then something shifts.

[34:53]

In the symbolism of Zen, of Buddhism, we take refuge. Is that what I want to do? Do I want to approach the things I don't like? with aggression, with aversion, with criticism of others. Is that what I want to do? Is that what will make me really happy? Is that what will bring me a sense of vitality and joy and enthusiasm for being alive? And something in us shifts. And yes, I will. Yes, I will take refuge from that way of suffering, and I will take refuge in the integrity, the wisdom, the compassion, the patience, the generosity, the trust of opening up to what is.

[36:11]

And in the symbolism of the ceremony, It's like, well, okay then. Let's get going. But remember, this is a big deal, because in a way, you are now a different person. And here's your new name, and here's your new clothes to wear. And the consequence of this will be how you will be in the world. will shift from how do I get what I want and how do I avoid what I don't want? It'll shift from that to how do I limit how I harm others, make their lives difficult, blame them for what I don't like? How do I shift from that to actually trying to help? Trying to be in the world in a way

[37:20]

that supports our shared existence. And then we have what we call the grave admonitions. Not grave in as much as Here's the new and improved way to find fault with ourselves or with others. Preferably with others, of course. They are so terrible, aren't they? But grieving a way that giving the complexity of our human existence, we have these tendencies. And if we attend to them, if we notice them, if we let them teach us, we will discover the skillfulness of the path of liberation.

[38:30]

That in studying, in exploring, in attending to these admonitions, in taking them on as how to be, something the manifestation of liberation comes forth. It's not a sequential, I know what to do, and I'm going to do it, and it happens. It's more of an aspiration. It's more of a willingness. Yes, I will. There's a wonderful story about Suzuki Roshi, the finder, and Sojin Mel Weishman, who got ordained like the ordination we're going to do in the afternoon, thought since he was ordained, he should ask his teacher what it was to be ordained.

[39:37]

So he went to his teacher, Suzuki Roshi, and he says, Suzuki Roshi, yes, Mel, what is it to be a priest? And Suzuki Roshi thought for a moment, hmm, hmm, I don't know. Which, of course, was quite a surprise to Mel. I mean, Suzuki Roshi had been a priest for most of his life, espoused it as a wonderful way of life, talked about it eloquently and convincingly. And then, Kategori Roshi was there. And Suzuki Roshi turned to Kategori Roshi and says, Kagari Roshi. Yes, Kagari Roshi. What is it to be a priest? Kagari Roshi paused. I don't know. What do we know?

[40:44]

How do we know? that our mind or concept our mind can generate, can we say, this is the totality, this is the absolutely truthful expression. And by marvelous coincidence, I have a piece of a poem that speaks to this. It's by Mary Oliver from The Leaf and the Clyde. things, you know, despite the fact that the world always changes, some things occur. But maybe you haven't heard me read this part before. But what is it then that sits in my heart, that breathes so quietly and without lungs, that is here, here in this world,

[41:50]

and yet not here. What is it then that sits in my heart, that breathes so quietly and without lungs, that is here, here in this world, and yet not? Does the body have a soul? Does the weedy muscle clinging to the rocks have a soul? Does the black snake sliding along, perking up the black lump of its head, have a soul? And what about the butterfly and the tree root? Is the wren proof? Is the bed of new lilies just opening all silk and spit? Is it also proof? The wren and the lilies? Does the grain of sand know it is a grain of sand? Will secrets fly out of me when I break open? Are the stars standing in any order? Is supplication useful? Exactly.

[42:54]

Now in the dark, the white heron strokes the air over the salt marsh. Then she dangles the forks of her feet and her long legs and comes floating down to the rocks. She shakes herself, just once, so that her body for an instance is a white fire. Not herself. with the perfection of self. A white fire. If I look carefully, I can see it. Then the yellow eye moves. She arches forward slightly and stirs into the moving water. And we're back in this world. Give each moment time it needs. And it sparkles.

[44:01]

It teaches. It instructs. In ways that our concepts can't fully grasp. They can inspire us to appreciation. they can touch us in a way that despite ourselves, we say, yes, I will. Will you do this? Even after attaining Buddhahood, will you continuously observe this way? Yes, I will. Who can say such a thing? Can anyone other than Buddha say that? And is there anyone who's not Buddha?

[45:06]

Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, please visit sfzc.org and click Giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[45:33]

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