Thank you. In a surpass penetrating and perfect dharma, it's very met with even in a hundred thousand living fathers. I would get to see and listen to to remember and accept.

[01:02]

I am allowed to take the truth of the Tathagata's words. Good evening. Tonight I want to talk about time because I struggle with time in my life, and I think a lot of people do. And I also find it just interesting, sort of fascinating, sort of part of the great mystery of life. And I'm especially fascinated by those people who seem to be able to do things

[02:07]

many many things and never seem ruffled or hurried or tired and i'm just interested in that so um that's what i'm going to talk about i also think it's important i think it's a piece of right view and i am interested in discovering more about that So it's helped me in my practice to study time. So what exactly is time? The usual view is that it's a stream that passes from the past through the present to the future. And we say things like, time flies. And time marches on. Time is money.

[03:10]

Time's up. We say that we race against time. That we use time wisely. We waste time. We kill time. We spend time. Volunteer our time. Invest time. fritter away our time we try to be on time and we worry about getting things done in time so in short I think we see time as a thing as an object that's separate from us I feel that Yes. Yay.

[04:12]

So time seems to have a life of its own, and we have trouble keeping up with it sometimes. And sometimes it drives us crazy, but mostly we seem to want more of it. We want to live longer. And we want more hours in the day to do the things that we have to do and want to do. On the other hand, sometimes we wish time would hurry up. If you've ever done a seven-day sashin, I'm sure you've experienced moments when you wish this creative zazen would be over right now. Thank you. And we... all know that we experience time in a relative way like that. Our vacation weeks pass really fast, and then the workdays between Monday and Friday may seem to drag, and we wish it were over and it was the weekend already.

[05:25]

We say that we can hardly wait for some event in the future. So how much of our lives are you willing to wish away? And what is time anyway? We can go from the past to the future and the future to the present and all around faster than you can say we are all time travelers. We reflect on time. We reflect on the past. And we plan for the future.

[06:26]

And we do it all in the present. because that's really the only time that's actually available to us. We live in different time zones, so it isn't the same time everywhere. And time is related to space. It takes time to move through space and to arrive at another place. A past or future event may seem very near or very far away, depending on our feelings about it. And I have all these experiences of time myself, but mostly I suffer from a feeling of scarcity of time. There are so many things I want to do. I want to be a good Eno. And I want to study and be with friends and keep in touch with my family and keep my apartment clean and keep myself and my clothes clean.

[07:41]

And. Oh, there are so many things that. I want to get enough exercise. And I want to keep up with current events. And I really, really want to look relaxed and unhurried enough that people don't feel like they're bothering me if they ask me a question or want to talk to me. That's really important to me. To tell the truth, there are other things I want to do too. I want to read books and go to movies and knit and ride my bike and take long walks. So I want there to be plenty of time for fun and enjoyment too.

[08:47]

While I was working on this talk, I received my e-newsletter from Kaiser Permanente. And it was all about time and busyness and how to handle one's life so as to be healthy and happy in the realm of time. And it opened with a story. Mahatma Gandhi was once asked, you have been working at least 15 hours a day every day for 50 years don't you think it's about time you took a vacation and he said i'm always on vacation during interim i read a book called learning true love by chan kong who is a vietnamese

[09:54]

nun in the order of inner being who was Thich Nhat Hanh's assistant. And when she lived in Vietnam, she worked tirelessly to help the Vietnamese in a million ways. And then later she was in exile and she toured Europe and Scandinavia and many countries on a peace pilgrimage. And she visited important and influential people trying to influence them to end the war. And sometimes she had as many as seven or eight speaking engagements in a single day. And she did all this in English, which she had just learned by reading English newspaper articles with Thich Nhat Hanh.

[10:56]

So it was a very, I'm sure that was very challenging, seems almost impossible. And she said that she, well, she seemed very passionate about what she was doing, of course. And she said that she was not tired and was not afraid of being tired. And I thought it was very interesting that she said she was not afraid of being tired, because I know that sometimes when I feel overwhelmed by the things I need to do, what I experience is fear that there won't be any time left for me when I'm done doing all the things I have to do. And I said that once to Michael Wenger, and he said, All the time is your time. And when I can remember that, it's really helpful. It changes my entire mood and outlook because I feel then like I'm creating my own life and not being just driven by all the things that I think I need to do.

[12:14]

So I've been reading Katiguri Roshi's book, Each Moment is the Universe, which is a very interesting book about time, and about karma also, and about Dogen Zenji's fascicle Uji, the time being. And in it, he quotes Dogen Zenji as saying that most people are not able to acquire a way-seeking mind without deeply understanding that a day consists of 6,400,099,180 moments. I did the math backwards, and that's 74,075 moments equals one second. Kategori Roshi says that because our minds can't keep up with that tempo, we sense a gap between ourselves and time.

[13:29]

And that because of that gap, we feel that our life is separate from the entire universe. And this is the ignorance. that's mentioned in the Four Noble Truths, I think, that's the cause of all our suffering. I want to say something about that number, sort of a silly number. But it's one of our Buddhist numbers, and they turn up especially in accounts about time, I think. So that's the micro level. On the macro level, if you want to talk about... the birth and death of a world system, the amount of time that it takes for a world system to be born, achieve stasis, decay, and pass away.

[14:32]

This is the definition of the time. Starting from a lifespan of 10 years, For every hundred years, the age of people increases by one year and their height increases by one inch. This keeps on increasing until the lifespan of humans reaches a full 84,000 years. Then, this is followed by a process of decrease in the same ratio. For every hundred years, there is a decrease of a year and an inch from the lifespan and height of a human being until its age reaches 10 years again. One complete process of increase and decrease makes up one kappa, 16,798,000 years. A thousand of these make up one small kappa, and 80 small kappas is the lifespan of a world system.

[15:39]

Here's a definition of a kappa. Suppose almost there was a huge rock of one solid mass, one mile long, one mile wide, one mile high, without split or flaw. And at the end of every hundred years, a man should come and rub against it with a silk cloth. Then that huge rock would wear off and disappear quicker than a kappa. So those are Buddhist numbers. And you chose Buddhism as your religion. I'm not responsible. So in this classical Uji, in English, the time being, Dogen Zenji... says that time is actually being and all being is time.

[16:46]

In other words, we are time and all existence is time. All beings and also all inanimate objects are nothing but time. And in each moment, the universe appears and disappears. That is what a moment is. It's the process of change at super speed. And this is the nature of impermanence. And we feel a gap between time and ourselves because our life is always being cut off before we can apprehend it. By the time we experience, by the time we register our experience in the present, it's already gone, and any idea we have about it is a memory.

[17:52]

Nevertheless, we do experience the present in the present, and we're changed by that experience. Each new moment has its causes and conditions in the previous moment, and this is karma. Because it is also dynamic, we can act in the present moment, and our activities will be the causes and conditions for future moments. Each moment includes all other moments and all causes and conditions in the universe. There is no time and no being that is not included in the present moment. Nothing is lost and time does not fly away.

[18:58]

We are here and our time is right here, right now. It is the only time there is. Dogen Zenji said that we exist in any particular form for the time being. For the time being, I am Rosalie. For the time being, I am the Eno. For the time being means for now. And this is the nature of our existence. Rosalie is time. The Eno is time. The Buddha Hall is time. 300 Page Street is time. So this relative being exists for now. And this impermanence is the basic human suffering that we talk about in the Four Noble Truths.

[20:04]

Sooner or later, our life will be cut off and we will die. So it is actually true that our existence in this particular form as this relative being will come to an end. In the relative world, our time is limited and we must make choices about what's most important to us in our lives and how to spend that time. What are our priorities? However, if I'm to be happy and maybe even successful in what I undertake, I also need to breathe. We can breathe in the present reminding ourselves of our true nature as time.

[21:10]

And this present moment, the teachings say, is also timelessness and is actually eternity. In order to use time instead of being used by time, I need to know my own priorities and make conscious decisions about what I will do with my life, about what's most important to me. Then, moment after moment, I need to act in accord with those priorities. This means not picking and choosing. It may mean doing the dishes when it's time to do the dishes. even though I'd rather read a book or watch TV. Then I can practice doing the dishes mindfully and enjoying the time I spend doing the dishes.

[22:13]

And that activity will deepen my practice and my life. Being present for what I'm actually doing includes not comparing it with something else that I think I'd rather be doing. Besides taking me away from the present moment, such comparisons are usually unfair. If it's a seven days of shame and I'm having a hard time and wishing for a period of zazen to be over, I'm at... To compare my experience to, say, lying on a chase lounge at the spa, or riding my bike, or having a really good meal with friends, I don't tend to compare it to standing in line at the supermarket, doing my laundry, or being stuck in traffic.

[23:24]

For me, one of the traps of busyness is pleasure-seeking. There's a difference between enjoying my life and seeking out pleasure, which sometimes makes me even busier. If I've been working very hard, sometimes I feel entitled to some pleasure, and I go out looking for it. It may mean going to a restaurant or a movie or buying some yarn to make a scarf or watching TV. That may be where my habit energy leads me. And there's nothing wrong with those activities. They can be part of our lives. But on the other hand, don't you sometimes really enjoy a zendo meal or... having lunch with your friends at city center, or meditating, or taking a walk.

[24:39]

I think these activities that are near to hand that we don't have to go out looking for can yield just as much pleasure for us with less time wasted, less money spent, less busyness and tiredness around it. So also I think seeking for pleasures feeds our desires. I am sure many of you have had the experience in zazen of noticing when a desire comes up what happens. in your body and mind. And even a very innocent desire, even a noble desire like wanting to be a good eno or wanting to sit a good sushin, very quickly starts a process of your thinking about how to get it.

[25:53]

And your body changes. It results in tension and agitation. And it's really easy to see that when we're settled in the zendo and sitting still and really paying close attention. It's not so easy to see the same thing when it happens in our daily lives. Then... If we have some feeling of restlessness or dissatisfaction, we can turn on the TV set or eat something. So I think it's really helpful to be in a monastic or retreat environment like this, where our needs are very fully met, but our desires aren't. stirred up all the time this is very nourishing for us i've been talking a lot about rest inactivity and

[27:20]

I don't want to downplay the importance of just really deep rest either. There are times when that's very important and we have to know ourselves and know when those times are. Thich Nhat Hanh gives a description of rest. It's in talking about shamatha and he describes stone that someone throws into the water and the stone just falls to the bottom of the water and lands on the creek bed with no effort and when it hits the bottom it just lays there and rests and allows the water to flow over it And he talks about how animals, if they're injured in the forest, they will find a place to just rest for days and days.

[28:33]

And they may not eat or do anything else. They'll just deeply rest and do nothing else. Whereas humans, if we're sick, we call the doctor and go to the pharmacy and worry that and try to get our work done so that we can take some time off and be sick. We just have a different, less, I don't know, less restful way about it, I think, sometimes. So I think that resting is an art, and... A lot of what we do at Zen Center, I think, can help us cultivate the skill of resting. And I think it's very important. So I want to end tonight with a gatha from this book by Thich Nhat Hanh called Present Moment, Wonderful Moment.

[29:39]

I like these little verses. Some of them are quite beautiful. They're mindfulness verses that you recite to yourself when you're doing some particular activity. So you might have a gatha for washing your hands, and every time you wash your hands, you would say this gatha to yourself. So I want to read the one called Driving the Car. Before starting the car, I know where I am going. The car and I are one. If the car goes fast, I go fast. So that's the little verse. And here's his commentary. If we are mindful when we start our car, we will know how to use it properly. When we are driving, we tend to think of arriving. and we sacrifice the journey for the sake of the arrival.

[30:41]

But life is to be found in the present moment, not in the future. In fact, we may suffer more after we arrive at our destination. If we have to talk of a destination, what about our final destination, the graveyard? We do not want to go in the direction of death. We want to go in the direction of life. But where is life? Life can only be found in the present moment. Therefore, each mile we drive, each step we take, has to bring us into the present moment. This is the practice of mindfulness. When you see a red light, or a stop sign, when we see a red light or a stop sign, we can smile at it and thank it, because it is a bodhisattva helping us return to the present moment.

[31:47]

The red light is a bell of mindfulness. We may have thought of it as an enemy, preventing us from achieving our goal, but now we know that the red light is our friend, helping us to resist rushing and calling us to return to the present moment where we can meet with life, joy, and peace. Even if you are not the driver, you can help everyone in the car if you breathe and smile. The next time you are caught in traffic, don't fight. It's useless to fight. If you sit back and smile to yourself, you will enjoy the present moment and make everyone in the car happy. The Buddha is here because the Buddha can always be found in the present moment. Practicing meditation is to return to the present moment in order to encounter the flower, the blue sky, the child, the brilliant red light.

[32:58]

Do you have any questions? Yes. Well, yes, you're right. Unless it's sort of a string. I mean, if it were a stream completely separate from you, it might move that way. But actually, you know, what's in the future becomes the present and then becomes the past. I don't think it means so much. Yes? That's funny, you mentioned a past weekend that kind of I don't know exactly how to describe it, but kind of, well, it is, I guess, relationship-wise with people in life.

[34:11]

That particularly a friend of mine who happens to be, you know, just doing a lot of drugs and stuff and kind of watching the whole unraveling of his psyche and just kind of feeling a lot of sadness for him. You know, I was like, I spent enough time trying to assault him I was like tipping on my, I gotta go home, get some sleep here. And so on the way over there, I was just feeling all this, like negative psychic energy, this sense of like hopelessness. And all of a sudden I started, you know, as we were driving, we probably went back in the city. It was like, well, you know, it was close to fusion. I saw the big pastures. I started seeing cows. I was like, cows, you know, like, but subtle. But also I saw this mother cow and, uh, At this day, we had to get nourished. And all of a sudden, I started crying. I was like, what the hell's going on? And I was like, oh, well, everything's going to be OK. And then we got to the gate bridge and told me we're going back in the city.

[35:15]

And I was like, oh, I'm back in hell. It was like everything came around full circle before we get into it. It's just so like, is that time? Well, it doesn't sound like time in the present moment so much, so maybe that would help. I don't know. Thank you. Anything else? Yeah. What do you want to say that there's time pressure? from other people that we're working with, because not everyone's not supposed to be sensitive to that. So how do you work with other people, like with a team effort that cooperate and yet still try to keep some of the priorities on the things that . It's a complicated issue, isn't it, to do that?

[36:18]

Because we're so influenced by, you know, we have to live in the world. We live with other people and work with other people. And I think you have to take into consideration the needs that other people have and the expectations that they have. But you also have to know what you're about, what's important to you, what's the most important thing. And then what can you do? How can you help? It's very difficult. Is that enough? Good night.

[37:10]

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