This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. So I'd like to start this evening with a short guided meditation. So, since we're already in meditation pose, that's good. And if you're not, you can... Make the appropriate adjustments. Finding a way for your body to be upright, balanced, relaxed. Inviting your mind to be upright, balanced, relaxed. even if there is mental activity, even if there is emotions, to not exacerbate as much as possible, just giving it space, just part of the ambience of the moment.

[01:23]

to not know your body, to be as available as possible for sensation, to explore not giving it a name, my elbow, my knee, but more staying close to the experience. that gives rise to something that's named my knee, my ankle, my throat. As if you've just arrived in human form and you're experiencing exactly, precisely what it is on the realm of phenomena, sensation. sensations that are usually labeled my body.

[02:52]

To not know mind. To not know my mind. As if the narrative, as if the thoughts and the feelings, they're rattling around. Or a brand new event. Offering something about what it is to be. Some extraordinary. conscious experience called being me. Just being available for what arises as thoughts, images, emotions. What is me? Me is what arises now. available as possible for that.

[04:46]

The experience To let it change as it changes. And to be available for sounds, smells, physical sensations, taste, sight.

[05:55]

Whatever arises at the sense doors arise, mingling with the thoughts and emotions as it does. Open your eyes wide.

[07:13]

Not looking around, but being aware of the panorama of seeing. Some 140, 150 degrees. Without grasping, letting everything exist in its phenomenal way, in its momentary experience. Okay, thank you.

[08:30]

So at the beginning of the Heart Sutra, it says, practicing deeply, the Prajnaparamita perceived that all five skandhas in their own being are empty. That's what we just did. And then from there, Before you know it, you're fully awakened, and life just rolls along. Our empty, you know, the skandhas, the basic phenomena, then the vedana, the feelings that arise from it, then how it starts to formulate itself into some kind of construct, kind of perception, conception, definition of what is.

[09:34]

And then usually we grasp it and it becomes real, it becomes solid. It reinforces the habituated patterns of thought and feeling. But just to stay right there and let it be fluid, to not draw conclusions. As that Zen saying goes, only don't know. Let it stay in that nascent state. And to see that it comes and goes, that the moment is some melange of... signs and sensations and arising thoughts. And they weave together to create a momentary presence, perception.

[10:44]

And then usually that's woven into a narrative that's got a lot to do with whatever agendas, whatever emotions, whatever preoccupations are rattling through, running through our being. To let all not be seen for what it is. That it's temporary, it's impermanent, that it's conditioned, that The experience becomes my elbow when sensation is named. When sound is named, it becomes traffic. When it's located, it's traffic on laguna, traffic on page. And then we can grasp all that, make it real, and envelop it in our patterned way of thinking and feeling.

[12:04]

And it becomes part of a narrative that's more than a little bit dreamlike. And more than a little bit influenced by previous events and apprehensions and expectations that arise from that. And then the Dharma teaching is not, you've got to change all that. The Dharma teaching of liberation is not that you have to change all that, can you see it for what it is? Can you see how it all comes about? And can you even see how it's grasped? Or not? And then from this more fluid, dynamic way of experiencing the world, experiencing the self, of experiencing interaction, can the world become, can what arises become our teacher?

[13:22]

So it's like we're shifting from the expectations and apprehensions and questions of our more usual self-centered narrative to coming from the perspective of, strictly speaking, emptiness, but the Dharma. So last week I offered some questions. as a way to reframe the personal narrative. So the first question was, how do you suffer? Maybe one of the central themes of our personal narrative. And then that usually leads us on into other feelings, perspectives, agendas. but to sort of shift and let it be met with the request of practice.

[14:42]

That's why I offered some suggestions. What if it was met with this very mind is Buddha? What if it was met with everything that arises is an opportunity for practice. Every day is a good day. Every moment is a good moment. Every interaction is a good opportunity for practice. What if it's met with, don't grasp it and don't push it away. Just experience it fully. And then how do we let these questions become a learning process? How do we let these questions become a way of revealing the nature of what's going on and a way of revealing how not to get stuck?

[16:03]

And how do you learn how not to get stuck? by getting stuck. It's a very elegant system. When you're not stuck, you have nothing to learn. You got it. If it's not broke, don't fix it. If you're getting stuck, meet it with this inquiring mind. Not the mind that says, why me? Why is this happening to me? Not the mind that says, how do I get out of this? How do I fix this? Why am I so inadequate as a person? But the mind that says, this is an opportunity for practice.

[17:06]

So are stuckness teaching us something about how to discover not stuckness? So Umun, a Zen teacher said, with regards to this, he said, the stuckness teaching not stuckness is like disease discovering medicine, bringing The Dharma bringing this kind of intentionality to the karma of a human life is like medicine meeting disease. So medicine and disease are intertwined. So normally, you know, we set up good and evil, right and wrong, success and failure, as very different events. one to be reviled and one to be revered.

[18:16]

But as we're discovering and exploring the path of liberation, stuckness, we all have a genius for stuckness. We all have a genius for ways to grasp, to make things complicated, to be disappointed. We have the habits of a lifetime to support us in our endeavor. So, we have a genius for discovering medicine. We have a genius for discovering the endless paths of liberation. Every day is a good day. Every way is a good way. Every moment is a good opportunity. has nothing to do with, will I get what I want, or will I be defeated and not get what I want.

[19:27]

It's not good in relationship to bad, it's good in an opportunist way. So then Umuan goes on and he says, The whole world is medicine. Everywhere you turn, that moment can teach you. That moment can support you to let go of what you're grasping. That moment can exemplify liberation. And how do you unlock it? You unlock it. How do you realize that potential? You realize that potential by studying the self.

[20:35]

He says, the whole world is medicine. What is your self? What is the self that creates the confusions the deep yearnings and fears and aversions. So we could say that this disposition, this sensibility of emptiness, of conditioned fluid being, of non-grasping, is like a knock on the door. It invites the Dharma door to open.

[21:36]

There's a way in which when we meet the moment a certain way, it literally becomes evident what the path of liberation is. Unfortunately, we don't always do that. So within the dharma of practice, within the teachings, within the skillfulness of practice, we have other practices that help us do that. In some ways, the word sila, discipline, sometimes translated as discipline, sometimes translated as morality. Morality in a such, that which helps us to wake up, that which helps us to stay close to the mind of emptiness. That sensibility, that consciousness that's fluid and open and attentive.

[22:52]

So we watch ourselves, what helps us, what helps me to sustain to return to this way of presence. And then we study what helps me to release the agitation that stimulates the grasping and aversion. And so this is really the key, often, close to the key of the yoga of meditation. And on one hand, the yoga of meditation is what I just called the mind of emptiness, or the consciousness of emptiness. And then a related skill, faculty, disposition, is a settling.

[23:59]

A state of ease that's releasing the agitation, the suffering of our human life. Like in the Anapanasati, the sutra on the mindfulness of breathing, before it starts to go into reflecting on the dharmas, it says, just start by getting in touch with your body. And as you get in touch with your body, breathe into that body and discover what it is to use the breath to deeply release. How do we deeply release? How do we start to unwind the urgent preoccupations that kick up intense emotions, that kick up remnant of thinking.

[25:11]

And this is where great patience and great compassion are so helpful. This is where we realize There's a deep, deep request to meet your own suffering with compassion and patience. Patience that meets the suffering without exacerbating the agitation. And the compassion that holds it and invites it to unwind, invites it to start to soften and settle. And how do we do that in our sitting? This is part of the yoga, quite literally the yoga of sitting, the yoga of zazen. How to bring about a settling, a stabilizing that allows

[26:27]

the grasping to start to open. And these three modes, the mode of emptiness, there isn't really anything to grasp from the first place. The mode of the conduct, the discipline, the attentiveness to the moment, The discipline of not just letting your mind ramble all over the place. Of chasing after things that seem to have an attraction. Or nagging away at things that voice your aversions. And this quality of settling. So sometimes it's hard to talk about Zazen because it includes all three of these qualities.

[27:31]

The settling, the discipline, and this intrinsic freedom that there isn't anything in the moment that needs to change. How it's related to, how it's being grasped and pushed away, can be released. But the moment itself is just fine. So how to bring about working with these three factors. So each time we sit, we take on a koan. At this moment, with this state of mind, with this state of body, what is zazen? In this moment, in this stream of a brief human life, in this moment, with all the intrigues

[28:54]

and intricacies of my being, known and unknown, obvious and subconscious. What exactly is being noticed, being experienced? And what is it to practice with it? So as we start to sit, we formulate an alignment, an opening to the request of zazen. And we let that alignment become embodied. Let that alignment become involved with the breath. We breathe into it, we breathe through it. And then we become, we actualize the request, the intention of zase.

[30:12]

It's like this nothing separate from, give over to, And we call it just sitting because that's just all we're doing. We're not doing anything else. There's no special accomplishment that we're trying to make or avoid. It's just entering fully into the experience of the moment. And it's perplexing because these three factors all play a role. The settling, the discipline, and the relating to its intrinsic truth that nothing needs to change.

[31:18]

And so usually it's very helpful. to start in quite a deliberate, defined way. To explore. In the Anapanasati Sutta, it says, notice exactly how the breath is. If it's short, notice it's short. If it's long, notice it's long. And I would say, notice how the mind is. pronounced preoccupations, agitations. And can they be experienced as fully as possible? Can that element of the moment is just what it is, can that be expressed

[32:34]

in the activity of just being what arises. And can that guide us to discover the other two elements, the element of settling and the element of persistent engagement? And then as we do that, what happens? We struggle. We forget. We push too hard. We try to separate from. And then each and all of those offers us the disease that discovers the medicine.

[33:38]

What's the response to pushing too hard? Learning not to push too hard. Letting the pushing too hard teach you something about allowed. What's the response to letting your mind wander? Learning something about staying available to the experiences of the moment. The Kaan of Zanzen is arising the mind of inquiry. Then the particulars, there's so many particulars,

[34:40]

but they express themselves, they reveal themselves to the mind of inquiry. This is the heart of this kind of zazen, just sitting. And in a way, it's very closely aligned to ummans. Medicine and disease subdue each other. The whole world is medicine. Everything that arises in your Zazen can offer a teaching about the path of liberation. And what is this self? that persistently and determinedly arises in the midst of that and asserts its influence.

[35:54]

To not presume you know all about it, but each time you sit down, as Dogen Zenji says, to study the way is to study the self. Let that become a potent agenda. Okay. Why did I say all that? I thought I was going to talk about something else. So be it. You know, it's important.

[37:02]

It's so easy to make practice the extension of our karmic lives. It's so easy to practice the way you do your life. To struggle with it the way you struggle with your life. It's so helpful that each time we sit, that we very deliberately come at it in a different way. We very deliberately remind ourselves. It's like every time you sit, you give yourself as an instruction. You don't assume you know how to sit. Because it's so easy to let your karmic patterns sneak in. That's what's so beautiful, to not assume you know what your body is. To not assume you know what a mind is or a self. To let it start from scratch.

[38:06]

You know? Because something extraordinarily profound in the notion of beginner's mind. You know? This was one of Suzuki Roshi's key notions. The beginner's mind is always refreshing our intention, our commitment. Thank you very much. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge. And this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, please visit sfzc.org and click Giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[39:10]

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