This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good evening, everybody. Is the volume good? This is... I think I know everybody here pretty much. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Lucy Xiao. I'm a resident here at Zen Center. I lived here before and moved away and just moved back last month. So this is the first talk I'm giving tonight since I moved back.

[01:04]

And I'd like to thank David Atanto for inviting me. And thank Paul, my teacher, for your support all these years. And I'd like to thank the City Center Sangha for welcoming me back. So I just came back from a trip to China, so I thought I'll start tonight's talk with a Koan story from China. So most of you know what Koan means? Anybody have not heard about Koan? So Koan is a story, or Gong An in Chinese, is a story in Zen practice to illustrate a certain point.

[02:17]

And it's oftentimes a story about a teacher and a student, or a dialogue between them, or between Dharma friends. And there's... point in a lot of these koan stories called, in Chinese we call ji feng or pivot point or zhuan yu, turning phrase. You've heard of that? So it's kind of like the focal point of the story and the point that illustrates the most important aspect of practice that the Kohan story is trying to show. So just keep that in mind and here's a story not a story from those books but a story from my life.

[03:34]

So I recently visited my parents in China and also a good friend of mine. His name is Hong Jue. He's a wonderful monk and Dharma teacher in China. And he had taught in the West also. But now he's living in a hermitage near Shanghai in the recent years. So when I go to China, I would visit him and catch up and share our practice. For me, I always learn something from him. So this is a story from a couple years ago when I had just moved away from Zen Center and I visited him. And we were taking a walk around his hermitage.

[04:41]

It's a beautiful path. And I was telling him all the things happened, all the change that I experienced externally and internally in this process of moving out of Zen Center. lots of processes and some ups and downs. And so as we were walking and talking, the sun was setting, and we could see the sunlight through the trees, golden, golden light. And he stopped and said, when the sun sets, does the sun turn, does the sun move or the earth move?

[05:43]

And so I scratch my head and try to think of a scientific answer. And you know, from the part of my brain that stores my science knowledge, which is very small. And so I said, well, maybe they move, they both move. And he stopped and looked at me and then he chuckled and he said, I was playing G-Phone with you. The pivot point. I said, what? And then he answered himself, no matter what moves, there's one that doesn't move. And, you know, I was like, oh, you train me, you know. But that became my koan, my turning phrase, after that interaction.

[07:02]

So... when things move, when things change, where is the one that doesn't move? Which inspired me to talk about what I'm going to talk about tonight which is, I like to talk about mindfulness practice. And what is mindfulness? In Pali, it called sati, and it means remembering.

[08:09]

In Chinese, it's called nian. The character is made of two parts, present mind or heart. So it says something, the word itself, something about to remember to remember to be aware what is now, what is here. So mindfulness is about the present moment and it's about bear attention. And it's that moment when we have an experience, that very moment, before our conceptualization, our feelings, and our sense of self, you know, me, my, and mine, is added to the experience.

[09:26]

So it's that bear attention. And mindfulness practice is an integral part in the Buddha's teaching. And so why or what makes it so important? When we are not mindful, we don't live in the present moment. our actions and speech and our thoughts would be dictated by our habits. And, you know, these habits oftentimes are not so helpful. And so I just moved back here, as I told you, and this is a little story.

[10:34]

I used the bathroom on the second floor. So I have my little toothbrush and toothpaste on a shelf which is a different shelf from what I used before a few years ago. So you know the story already. And so when I go to brush my teeth I would go, you know, get my toothbrush and toothpaste. If I'm not mindful, I'll walk straight to the old shelf, which is in the other part of the bathroom. And if I'm a little mindful, I catch myself making a move toward that direction. And then, ah, it's not there anymore. So I turn my body and go to the other one.

[11:39]

And if I'm really, really mindful of what I'm doing, I wouldn't make that mistake. I would just go to where it belongs now. So this may be kind of no big deal. It costs me very little suffering. But sometimes our habit, our habit energy... can really get us in trouble. We're talking to someone and out of habit we say something that can hurt them or do something that can hurt ourselves or people we love. And so it's important to practice mindfulness. so that we don't get dragged around by our habit energy. And to see what really is going on.

[12:44]

And what really is going on is that everything change, everything changes. And everything is interdependent. all depend on each other and everything depending on everything else and there is really not a fixed self there's not a kind of like isolated separate self from everything else and to have this understanding it will help us to to live our life more fully and cost less suffering and I'm so mindfulness practices a very I'm keep line in in many put us a formulas in his teachings for example in the a seven factors awakening or nobody for path I'm

[14:02]

What I'm going to introduce tonight is a teaching offered by the Buddha called the Satipatthana Sutta. It's a sutra on the four foundations or establishments of mindfulness. Have you studied that or heard that? So some of you have and some of you have not. But in this sutra, the Buddha said, because there is a most wonderful way to help living beings realize purification, overcome directly grief and sorrow, and pain and anxiety, travel the right path, and realize nirvana. This way is the four establishments of mindfulness.

[15:09]

What are the four establishments? Some translations call it foundations. So he goes on to describe the four methods of mindfulness, which is mindfulness of the body, which includes breath, the body positions, actions, and so on. And he also described mindfulness of the feelings, the present, unpleasant, or neutral feelings, and the mind, the state of mind, and the objects of the mind. It's... It's not a very long sutra, but it covers a lot of territories from body to mind.

[16:12]

But in the very beginning, the Buddha talked about how to establish mindfulness of the body. And in that section, he talks about, the very first thing he talked about is mindfulness of breath. So, Master Thich Nhat Hanh wrote an excellent commentary on this sutra that I have here, that I borrowed from Paul. So I highly recommend it. But tonight, because we have just a short time, I'm going to just pick out the breath part and talk about it. So the Buddha said, And how does a practitioner remain established?

[17:28]

in the observation of the body in the body. He goes to the forest, to the foot of a tree, or to an empty room, sits down cross-legged in the lotus position, holds his body straight, and establishes mindfulness in front of him. She breathes in, aware that she is breathing in. She breathes out, aware that she is breathing out. When she breathes in a long breath, she knows I'm breathing in a long breath. When she breathes out a long breath, she knows I'm breathing out a long breath. When she breathes in a short breath, she knows I'm breathing in a short breath. When she breathes out a short breath, she knows I'm breathing out a short breath.

[18:29]

He's talking about to be aware of your breath whether it's long or short. So this is just the beginning. So that's kind of like the ABC, the number A, the A of how we practice mindfulness of breath. And... Breath is probably the most simple thing that we do and also the most essential thing. And I hope everybody here knows how to breathe. And it's the most available tool that we can use when we practice mindfulness.

[19:35]

And we might think it's very simple. It's just breathe in and breathe out. No big deal. But if we look closely, our breath is very, very interesting. So in... In Chinese, we call breath qi, which is the same character as the qi that we mean energy, internal vital energy. When we breathe in air, we breathe in qi. It's the qi from our environment, from nature. When we breathe in, the qi we breathe in from outside turns into qi inside.

[20:43]

And so in this process, our breath, our qi gives us life. It permeates every self in our body and gives us life. And without this, we won't be alive. So breathing is very, very important. Now, how do we breathe? How can we be mindful of our breathe? breath or breathing. Well, first make sure you are breathing. Is everybody breathing now?

[21:46]

And second, if we slow down, we can pay more attention to our breath. As you know, when we are agitated, or anxious, our breathing will become faster. Or when we're busy and multitasking, we'll lose track of our breathing. Sometimes we hold our breath without even knowing it. So to be mindful, to be able to practice mindfulness, we need to slow down. And sometimes we use meditation or we meditate to practice this mindfulness of breath. But we could also practice while we're standing or walking or lying down.

[22:53]

But it requires... slowing down and paying attention. And it also asks us to relax and observe and not to control what's going on. Try not to control your breath. And when we pay attention, what happens when we take a breath? So, as the Buddha said, the breath can be long, can be short. And there's in-breath and out-breath. And for each in-breath and out-breath, we experience the beginning, the duration,

[24:03]

the end, and a brief pause before the next thing happens. We breathe in, we experience that, and then we breathe out, we experience that. We can also experience pressure pressure in the body when we breathe in we can also experience relief or relaxation when we breathe out we can also feel the breath at the tip of our nose or

[25:06]

we feel the movement of our abdomen, the rise and fall of our abdomen. We can feel emotions accompanying our breath, like maybe a little anxious, you know, trying to take in more breaths. or maybe a little tightness in our chest, or some bodily sensations along with it. And so when we sit down and breathe, many things can happen, and when we pay close attention, then we can understand, we can know what's going on and what's really going on.

[26:19]

Our breaths can be more coarse when we first sit down or when we feel agitated. It can also become more subtle when we settle. Master Ziyi from Sui Dynasty in China, who was the founder of the Tiantai school, he described the quality of breath in these ways. He said, there can be a windy breath, which is the kind of breath with sound, like There can be uneven breath. So a breath that may not have a sound, but it kind of catches. It's not very smooth. And then there's the ordinary breath that you breathe without difficulty.

[27:29]

You're not making a whole lot of noise. And it's kind of smooth. And that's kind of your ordinary breath. And there can be subtle breath. That's when your mind and body settles, your breathing can become longer and more subtle. And it feels like if you are breathing or as if you were not breathing, it's kind of very, very subtle. And so to know, to pay attention where what your breathing feels like. These are just ways to describe the qualities of your breath. But you can pay attention and to recognize your own patterns, your own way of breathing.

[28:32]

And in our body, in our mind, due to our past karma, there may be small or big patterns. Sometimes we call them habitual patterns, happy energy, or knots, or internal formations. So they exist in us. And when we take a deep breath, our qi may reach some of these knots, these places, and they will surface, they will be brought to the surface. And so when we practice mindfulness,

[29:40]

mindfulness of breathing and mindfulness of our feeling and our mind and our objects of mind. Mindfulness is like light, like shedding light on these what comes up in our body and mind. It's also like a river that washes away the deep breath. So when we sit meditation, when we breathe, when things show up, when we practice mindfulness, we don't

[30:44]

We don't need to cling to them. We also don't need to push them away. We just watch. Watch what's happening. And return to our breath. So no matter what moves, there's one that doesn't. Where's the one that doesn't move? So maybe I thought, I thought maybe it would be appropriate that we all take a few breaths and pay attention.

[31:52]

So please sit upright and find a upright and relaxed posture. and we'll sit for a few minutes. Thank you.

[33:31]

And what did you observe in your breathing? Yes? Say that again. Throws off your breathing very quickly. And what did you do? and you came back to your breath. Cool. Anything else? Are there any questions or comments? Did you find anything? Yes, Greg? You mean in your meditation?

[35:00]

Well, it's about observing. So, you know, when you practice meditation or whatever, or you are not meditating, but you are practicing mindfulness, you don't need to say it, but you just watch. So to watch what's going on. But if it helps you to study and to chant the sutta, of course you can do that. But you kind of use it as guidance. in your practice. Mimi? Lucy, when you're not in the zendo or sitting in meditation, do you have any useful practices that help you to remember to come back to your breath?

[36:03]

So the question is when I'm not in sitting in meditation zendo, Is there any method to help me to come back to my breath? So when I'm working or doing things, sometimes breathing may not be the most obvious object to pay attention to. So then you can pay attention to your feet. where your feet touch the ground. Pay attention to your action, your movement. Actually, the Buddha says in the sutta, when you move forward or backward, sitting or lying down. So, yeah. But also, if you are slow enough, you could go back to your breath.

[37:06]

And so, lately I pay more attention to my abdominal breathing. Yes? I have a comment. Yes? Thank you for your talk, first of all. You're welcome. I really was moved by the point you were making about breathing. When we breathe the qi in, it becomes a part of us. It becomes part of you. Yes. And I guess my comment is that I'm thinking about being in situations where there's an environment and conditions are conducive to suffering. And so when we bring the suffering around us into our body through an inhale, I just want to acknowledge that there's like

[38:08]

There's a lot of courage in the grass. Well... So... Suffering... Suffering is caused by our mind. And, of course, by our actions. But the air itself is not bad, not good. Air is air. Air is there to help us, to keep us alive. And we live in an interdependent world, as the Buddha taught. So I think maybe you meant we

[39:09]

not literally breathing in suffering, but in a toxic environment, for example. So there are practices we can do. Well, first of all, be mindful. That's always useful. And also there are meta-practice, you know, loving-kindness meditation practice. When we feel suffering in ourselves or in others, that could be your tool to work with the suffering. And sometimes we can also work with the breath in a way so that we breathe in and then when we breathe out, we relax and we wash away

[40:10]

Well, in Chinese medicine, we might say turbid qi, like the qi that's not clean, then we let it go. So, yeah, it's not easy. Thank you for your comments. So, yes? so like subtle that you're it's not that you're like not breathing but it's like pretty subdued but the way that you described it was more of like a like a longer breath that's like still very subtle but then like a longer exhale and the way that I experienced it though was like a very short breath like not like shortness of breath like I'm having trouble like getting air but more just like a short like half

[41:15]

remember don't control your breath mindfulness practice is just to be aware what's going on and it will happen naturally whatever happens is your natural stay at this point You're welcome. So we need to wrap it up. Thank you all very much. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered at no cost and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving.

[42:17]

May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[42:19]

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