This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. Hello. Welcome to everybody. Welcome to those of you in this room and over in the dining room there's another cohort listening and I believe in time on the Internet. People listen to these Dharma talks, so I say hi to those folks as well. My name is Jordan Thorn. I live here at City Center, the Tonto, Head of Practice here. I've been a student here for some years. And... I think in a very real way, the fact that I've been able to continue practicing owes itself to the fact that I am connected to a Buddhist sangha, to a community of practitioners.

[01:10]

And I want to say some things about that today. I want to talk about what it is to practice with sangha, to take refuge in sangha. So again, I say welcome to everybody. But as I look around this room, I see some new faces. But even more, I see old faces, familiar faces, people who have been here before. And I want to express a special appreciation. It's good to have new people. You've got to have the new people. But I also want to say thank you, especially to those of you who have been here before and have come back. And so to new friends and old friends, welcome to San Francisco Zen Center, Siddhi Center, our Saturday Dharma talk. In Buddhist practice, we're a Buddhist temple.

[02:15]

In Buddhist practice, there's a name for all of you. I kind of leaked the name a moment ago. All of you are called a sangha. This group of... Many of you might think that you're strangers to each other, but you have at least that in common. You're part of the sangha. And taking refuge in sangha, which refuge maybe for some folks is a tricky word, but turning towards practicing with others is one of the oldest core pieces of what the Buddhadharma path offers. And coming together like we are today with this mix of novices and residents and teachers and students coming together in this way is how Zen practice develops roots, how Zen practice makes itself strong.

[03:30]

And this is how we learn that we're not alone. It's one of the ways we learn we're not alone. Sangha is a word that in its kind of technical, in its most particular sense, describes the congregation of people who have taken the Buddhist precepts. That's kind of maybe one of the definitions of sangha. But... And this taking of the precepts in a public setting is very important to bring one's practice forward. But at the Zen Center, I think we think of, and actually not just at the Zen Center, I think many, even a better way to think of Sangha is the whole world, and that we are connected to the whole world, not just to those of us who, those of you who we think we have affinity to. When Buddhas practice Dharma, they are members of the Sangha.

[04:56]

And right there I managed to get all three of the three jewels in one sentence, Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. There may be complicated ways to describe what it means to be a Buddhist, but a simple way is to say that you accept Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha in your life. And of those three things, while I, on some other day, might want to say that, for instance, Buddha is most important, or Dharma is most important, today I'm going to say Sangha is most important. And actually, in the past, when I've thought about it, I've thought Sangha is most important, though they're equal, and all of them support each other. But Sangha is the harmony of Buddha and Dharma. Sangha is the harmony that we feel that encourages us to continue.

[06:01]

When somebody accepts or maybe takes the triple treasure of Buddha, Dharma and Sangha in their life, I think it's very possible that in the morning when they wake up, they're not upset. about their relationship with Buddha or Dharma. But I also think it happens that people wake up in the morning upset about their relationships with people in the Sangha, with their friends, co-workers, enemies. And I have woken up in the morning feeling troubled about my relationships with people. And this distress that we have about our relationships to others is a kind of frontier. It's the fertile edge of where our practice is made real, where we do learn and we do grow.

[07:10]

Practicing Buddhism, the idea that we would wake up, is such a noble kind of thing to conceive of that it's sort of awkward and surprising how petty and minor the things that we founder on are. And when we're afraid of the names we might call each other if we were just honest, well... that I think we're not really honoring our intention or we're not really, our intention to practice has some work, needs to be done with it. And one of the great things about Zen practice, Buddhist practice, is there's no shortage of things to work on. I have found in my own practice, in my life, that one of the biggest challenges I have is treating the people around me as though they were Buddha.

[08:38]

Treating everybody around me the way I wished they would treat me. And when we are part of a sangha, one of the... obligations of that is that we learn, we feel in our body and mind and heart, we feel that it's our task not just to wake ourselves up, but to also help take care of others, the people that we learn to love or hate. We need to learn to take care of them. We need to bring them close and recognize that they're our brothers and sisters and that they are our Buddha. friends. And I think more than we ever even could understand, those who we know in our life need us to give that help. So the practice of Zen, the practice of Buddhism is manifested in intimate relationships with other people and with friendships that are found.

[10:14]

Well, the practice of Zen becomes alive in the moments that arise between between friends and students and teachers and strangers, between all of us together. Starting off to practice isn't the hardest thing to do, actually. In fact, I'm going to say to everybody here in this room, has started off. Here you are. What's really hard is to continue. is to keep doing it, is to keep the commitment to practice. This is the tough thing, simply to keep at it, not to lose faith. And what supports us to continue to practice? Well... There might be many things that support you, but I'm going to suggest that what supports us and what supports you and me in continuing to practice is by identifying what we need to do to make our own life work.

[11:29]

It might seem sort of selfish or egotistical to start off by identifying what you need to make your life workable, but it's sort of like... might be, sort of like when you travel on a plane and the steward demonstrates what would happen if, God forbid, the plane depressurized and you needed... Everybody had to use this oxygen mask. And they say, if you're traveling with children, independence, put the mask on yourself first. If you actually try to take care of the kids first, you might not... be able to do it before you yourself have problems. So we have to, in keeping a proper perspective and scale, we have to actually look at our life and find out how we can make our own life work. And as a part of that, as a part of that making our own life work,

[12:42]

we might try to understand that the people, the other people that we meet, parents, our friends, coworkers, lovers, partners, sometimes they might be the source of our problems. Sometimes they might seem like that they create difficulty for us. Sometimes it might seem that they've given us a gift that's like a little ticking time bomb that we have to kind of get rid of, you know. But I think we have to understand that our problems begin with ourself, or maybe with ourselves. And It might seem like one possible solution to the problem in front of us is that other person over there is going to change and get better, take care of us better.

[13:53]

But you can't control that. What you can control is your own intention, your own effort, and looking at yourself. Because you are the only, we are the only persons who can solve our own life. Suzuki Roshi, the founder of this temple, who lived in this building and died in this building some years ago, Suzuki Roshi said, the purpose of studying Buddhism is not to study Buddhism, but is to study ourselves. The purpose of studying Buddhism is not to study Buddhism, but is to study ourselves. And Zen, or Buddhism, Zen is not a destination we're going to arrive at. Zen describes a process, not a result.

[15:05]

And when we, because we're here at the Zen center, okay, so we say that word, or We use that word. We use the word Buddhism. We use the word practice. When we use these words, they are like fingers pointing to the moon. Don't mistake them for the moon. Don't mistake them for the moon, but yes, it's also okay and actually needed to follow the direction that the finger points. we actually need guidance and we need signposts. Or maybe we need these signposts if we recognize we need help. Not everybody thinks they need help.

[16:10]

So in this effort of following the direction that the finger is pointing. In this effort to arrive at the moon, we are tremendously helped by practicing in a sangha, by practicing with the community. And there's lots of reasons why we need this help, but I'll just say that it's It takes our physical, emotional, mental commitment, all of the resources we can bring to bear, actually, to understand how to break, to stop the habitual patterns of our life. And we are enormously helped by being...

[17:11]

with others in this effort and by receiving the feedback of others, the support and training that goes along with tradition. By taking refuge in the Buddhist Sangha, In some way, we devote ourselves to everybody. This means that by taking refuge, we give ourselves to everybody. This is something that becomes more apparent in little glimmers as we spend time on the path. This need to give ourselves to other people. devote oneself to meeting people in a way that is, as best you can, helpful.

[18:16]

We are not going to get back to Buddha. We can only move towards Buddha. It's like a living tradition is not the leaves around the tree. the acorn that falls from the tree that can sprout and become a new tree. This is what we move toward. This is what we... We are those acorns needing the proper soil, needing the proper sangha to nurture us, bring us forth. So as I said, it's really not that hard to begin on the way. In fact, everybody in this room is on that path. But I'll say a little more about that. I'll say that here's what you need to do to practice, at least within the Zen tradition.

[19:27]

You sit down, not all day long, but on some occasion you sit down, sit quietly, pay attention to your breath. Doing this is taking refuge in Buddha. And then, as much as you can, you'll live your life with respect and with an ethical attention. And this is taking refuge in Dharma. And then, To bring ourselves forward, we find a wise senior, or we find a spiritual friend or a spiritual community that seems encouraging to us, and we connect to that friend and community. And this is taking refuge in Sangha. speaking personally about myself, I started to practice.

[20:42]

I didn't find it difficult to practice, to start practicing. It seemed like a natural thing to do, and I was 20 years old. I didn't have, in some ways, a lot of what might be called life experience, but nonetheless, for some reason in my heart was the idea that... the way seeking mind had awoken. I wanted to practice and I wanted to, whatever I thought it meant, learn how to wake up. I think back then I thought it meant I would have kind of groovy satoris and be altogether transformed. I was drawn by the idea of Buddhist awakening and in some ways I wanted to sprint ahead to the finish line.

[21:45]

I think I'd also heard, like, the Zen was, quote, the sudden school. That's good. You know? Well, let me tell you about something called teaching. I don't know teaching. Let me tell you about the four kinds of horses. This is a teaching story used in Zen, in Buddhism. I don't think Zen, I think Buddha talked about these four kinds of horses too. But as I tell you this story, as I tell you about the four kinds of horses, whenever I say the word horse, you should substitute the word Zen student. So the first kind of horse runs fast. naturally and intuitively turns right and left, anticipating the intention and needs of its rider.

[22:49]

Maybe even before they're expressed, this first sort of horse knows where to go. And the second kind of horse will run as fast as the first one does. will maneuver right and left just like the first one does, but not until it sees the shadow of the whip of the rider. This third sort of horse is the one that runs well only when it feels the pain of the whip. It feels the slap of the guiding ruler. And then there's the fourth kind of horse, which runs only well after the pain of the whip has entered into its marrow. And when I heard that, I was pretty clear where I wanted to be.

[23:53]

I was going to be the first or second, maybe, kind of horse. It's still kind of subtle to be attentive to the shadow of the whip. Well, somehow, for reasons that I, in hindsight, I can look back and I have some ideas about it, but my strong intention didn't last. And it was, you know, when Suzuki Roshi would talk, as he did in Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind, about these four kinds of horses, he makes it clear that in some place there's a special place in his heart for the fourth sort of horse, the bleeding horses. And after I began to practice and after a few years of what seemed like progress,

[25:02]

my life went a little bit kaplooey, which is in the dictionary right next to smithereens. And when this happened, I thought, kaplooey is no good. You know, get me out of this place. And it wasn't until some time had passed, some years had passed, and some healing had happened, that I realized that my directly personal experience of the awkwardness of this whole place we're at, in this room, in this world, in this predicament, the full-on catastrophe of our life, my awkward experience of wallowing in it, was just what I needed actually to understand who I was, kind of more honestly.

[26:11]

And I saw this story about these different kinds of horses with a new spirit. I think actually I gained a new appreciation for this very simple metaphor for what Buddhism is, which is called the middle way. I actually think it's very difficult to improve on that as a kind of like a foundation of a religious spiritual practice, the middle way. So, for many people, despite the attractions of it, being the first sort of horse is the toughest way to live.

[27:34]

Starting in practice and having enthusiasm is important, but continuing in practice is even more important. Everything naturally changes, but enchantment most of all. If you come to the Zen Center, those of you who have been here before, you've heard about Dogen Zenji, but for those new folks here, maybe I'll just say that a very important teacher in our tradition is somebody named Dogen Zenji who lived about 800 years ago in Japan. And he was a brilliant Zen teacher who wrote the most practical but also

[28:40]

in some cases, profound and abstruse and metaphysical essays, you can imagine. I think I can say, you know, a genius, a brilliant person. And at the end of his life, when he was... In his last months, I've read, through reading, I've been informed that... He wrote the characters for Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha on a pillar in his sick room. And his Zen practice concentrated itself down to he would walk around the pillar taking refuge in Buddha, saying, I take refuge in Buddha, I take refuge in Dharma, I take refuge in Sangha. And this was his kind. Anyway, this is how he faced his end.

[29:44]

I didn't know him personally. I'm told this is what he did. I think that for everyone that I know who's interested in Buddhist practice and Zen practice, we can't do much better than to ground our commitment with knowing what it means for us to practice with Buddha, to know what the Dharma is in our hearts and minds, and to take some effort to make some little study, to inform us, to reduce the initial illiteracy that we all have about what Buddhist teachings are, to study the Dharma. But in order to continue, we need to, I believe, we have to, connect to a sangha, to a community of practitioners. We have to make spiritual friends, not just friends, but also identify people who we find as teachers for ourselves.

[30:56]

I was reading yesterday, kind of by accident, an interview with Richard Baker. It's funny how you click on it. You're reading something on the Internet, and this is a little hyperlink, and you click it, and there it was, Richard Baker, who was my ordination teacher. It was a nice interview, actually. And one thing he said was that he was asked a question about the... The interviewer asked him about the advantage of having a brilliant teacher, whoever that might be. And Richard Baker said... that he thought if you were going to practice for ten years, it was better to have just a humdrum average teacher that you stayed with for ten years rather than ten different brilliant teachers for ten years. And I think that's... I read that and I thought, yes, I agreed. And I think that that is also part of what we need to learn about the sangha, which is that practicing with community isn't always...

[32:10]

exciting. And it's not always like you might think, well, how did I get with this bunch of losers? Or something. What's that expression? Familiarity breeds contempt. But you've got to go past that because actually it's not better elsewhere. It's not like there's a better group of people somewhere else. Those who you have by karma and by accident and good fortune met and practiced with, treasure them. Because our life is short. It's going by us quickly. And to keep looking for greener grass is attractive, but not really going to I think it might not work. So, I've said these words about Sangha today, in particular, because I was told there was going to be a membership table in the court chart.

[33:24]

And I thought, being a member of Zen Senyor is a great thing. Actually, it's a good thing. I wanted to... It's also, I think, very important here at the San Francisco Zen Center as a Buddhist temple that our practice is not offered only to people who sign up ahead of time and say they want to do it. Anybody can walk in the door and come to our zazen. Anybody can walk in the door and come to this lecture. But actually, the temple needs people who support it. So... If you're interested in supporting this temple, well, check out the membership table in the courtyard. But you don't have to. Okay. Either way is okay. So thank you very much. New faces and old. Thank you for being here today. And please continue your practice. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center.

[34:32]

Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, please visit sfzc.org and click giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[34:55]

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