This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. This is the second day of our session. It is amazingly, amazingly still and quiet in the zendo, in the meditation hall. I don't know if you are aware of it, because I think for many of you, it doesn't feel possibly very quiet in your bodies or in your minds. on the second day or last night.

[01:04]

So who is having some agitation going on here? Physical, mental, emotional? Put your hands up high. Almost everybody, including me. And it's completely still. How is that possible? You know, in the Hotsugan, Eheikosu Hotsugan Mon, it says, those who in past lives were not enlightened will now be enlightened. In this life, save the body which is the fruit of many lives. Before Buddhas were enlightened, they were the same as we.

[02:14]

Enlightened people of today are exactly as those of old. So the Buddhas were exactly as each one of us, which is something also Senju pointed to yesterday in her talk. But here we are, maybe not yet enlightened. That means we actually are enlightened, but we haven't realized it. The fundamental nature of being is awake. It's just the nature of being, actually the nature of life. And then we are born with these perceptions and this mechanism of brain that processes what we feel and what we think and what we see and what we hear.

[03:32]

and creates this strange little entity that is a separate I, me, mine, and a separate you over there, and you, and you, and this and that. And Buddha says that's just ignorance or confusion about the reality, but the reality is always there. So we create an environment like a sachin with a particular structure to help us surrender some ways that I, my, me stuff and you, you, you stuff. And of course, how we surrender it is by first being basically confronted by it.

[04:41]

We see it all over the place. Why did they not read my sign, how much whatever it is I want in my ball? Didn't they divine just that exact amount? Now why do I have less or more than I wanted? And it can keep us busy for a long time. Or, I'm sure you have plenty of examples. Maybe we should share a few. Someone want to volunteer some of their favorite examples? Yes? Sorry I started the dance show. Yes. Why did I start this? Then you're early. Why did I hear it and have to go to the bathroom? Why is that happening right now after I put on all my ropes? Why do I even have ropes I have to take all off and put back on?

[05:46]

It's complicated. So, yes, other examples? I don't know what, it was in there with my flyer button. Yes. A splash. So, we all have this. This happens to all of us. And the additional stories we create around it, that it actually can occupy us and upset us and stay with us for maybe hours or days is the mistaken function of thinking there is an I that can be controlled.

[06:50]

And we don't just close the fly or clean up the mess or... Everybody is here. Nobody left because the then show was early. And we get distracted. It's a distraction. I don't know what all you thought while you were waiting for me. I thought I was on time, but I didn't even know the then show was early. I mean, I realized it was earlier than I thought it was going to be, but... You have been waiting here, and I don't know if you were in your body and just present with being here and feeling the quiet and seeing the sunshine or whatever, and trusting that... things are just unfolding the way they are. Or whether you were busy, why isn't she here?

[07:51]

What is she doing? She's letting us wait. Is she sick? I don't know what, you know. So that's what we're trying in these seven weeks, to notice and to hold with kindness but come back to this body which is the fruit of many lives and which is actually how you are alive. Without this, exactly the body you have, we can't exchange them. We have the one we have. It's a gift. But without this, you wouldn't be alive. It's this body which will wake up It's not your brain by itself, or wherever you think your mind is. Your mind is actually in your body.

[08:52]

And if I'm correct, I think science is finding out that there's a lot of knowledge and wisdom in the body. It's not in the brain. And we think it's all in the brain, most of us. And we make a distinction between mind and body, and they're one set. So we have this schedule, and this is a little bit, for many of you, maybe an unusual schedule for Wohatsu, because we have walking outdoors. We don't have all the meals in the dining room. We will have a class of movement this afternoon that is given by Vicky Austin. So... It's an opportunity to... We have walking and sitting in the meditation hall at the same time so people can choose what works for their body.

[10:06]

And this is all an invitation to really become or be a support for you to become the allies of the body that specific... body you have at this time. That is yours. That, I mean, there's no I, no mine, no myself, but which your life expresses itself through. So it's an invitation to keep that same connection to your physicality, to the energy level you have, to the capacities you feel, you wonder, you don't predetermine, oh, I can't do this and I can't do that. Some things you know. So it's not an invitation to overextend yourself, but it's also an invitation, still an invitation to actually be curious about what is right now possible for this body.

[11:20]

So a lot of you probably are in some kind of pain because when we start sitting still for extended amounts of time, what shows up is where we have holdings, habitual patterns, holding patterns in our body, and they show up because they start being a little bit pushed against. But when you sit down in the Zen Dome, it's very important to take your time to find the most balanced, the most relaxed, the most upright position of that moment. Not the one yesterday or habitually just plopped down and here I am. But find it. So one of the instructions actually involved in which we were talking reading this morning is, once you have it, you start rocking your body.

[12:24]

And if you do that and then you let it get smaller, it's actually your body that tells us where the middle is for today, or for this moment, not even for today, for this city, right now. And so... Take your time to really, each time you sit down, to find that position. That helps you be in touch with your body and not so much in your head, wherever we usually are. And then when the instruction is to stay with your body, and one way of staying with your body is by paying attention to your breath. And to be aware of your breathing, how this body is breathing.

[13:28]

To be aware when there's slow breathing, shallow breathing, long breath, short breath, to really be interested. What's going on with the breath? And then we wander off, and then when we notice, we just come back and really feel it. So mindfulness is one of the main ways of how to get away from I, mine, myself. Thich Nhat Hanh has this story in his book that the rider is a rider on a horse that's just going at high speed, galloping somewhere, and somebody on the side of the road yells, where are you going? And the person on the horse says, I have no idea, ask the horse. And he says that is an image for our habitual way of being.

[14:35]

It just carries us along and we have no idea. We are actually not present and not aware and not in control. The horse is moving us. It's not us telling the horse where to go. So who here is in pain? Not everybody, that's wonderful. But you might be in emotional pain or mental pain. Who is in pain? Great. So when we are in pain, what do you habitually do? Take a moment. Think what you do. The pain you're in, in these moments,

[15:35]

What is your habit? Do you worry about it? Do you distract yourself by thinking of something else? Do you start looking, trying to look at the watch that you may still take to the Zendo, even though we encourage you not to, because you just can't be without that control, being able to look quickly when you think you need to know? So these are all habits. And the invitation is to do something else, to actually really turn toward. So let's take the pain, a physical pain. So if you have a pain in your knee, to really, really become interested in that pain and feel it from the in the inside of your body.

[16:38]

So not thinking about the pain, but go with your awareness into the body and feel exactly what that pain feels like. Where it is located? Does it radiate out? Is it sharp? What is the quality of it? And you have a conversation with your body or with that pain. You go, Because you don't know, can I stand, can you stand it for one more breath? And you really listen. And your knee, the pain in your knee or the pain in your hip or the pain between your shoulders will actually answer. You will get an answer. You will think, you will hear, yeah, one breath. So you take one breath and then you ask again.

[17:40]

Take one breath. Maybe the answer is, I don't know. So then you take a breath and you keep listening. Sometimes when we do that, when we really do that, not just as a, you know, really fully, wholeheartedly, sometimes the pain dissipates. Sometimes the answer is no, not one more breath, and then we do not go, well, you did five, you can do six. We go, okay, and you move a little. You see what your body needs. You maybe quietly shift in a rest position, or you straighten up a little bit, or you just... Let your body tell you what might help. And you do it slowly and quietly and keep that dialogue going.

[18:47]

That is becoming an ally to this body. Rather than, I decided to do this sashim and you better get along with it. Go along with it. Or you're my enemy because you're not... You're not cooperating. It's actually the I that is not cooperating. That my idea, how I want to be, what I can do or can't do. So can we use whatever it is going to the dining room, eating in the dining room, going to the Zendo, sitting, walking, standing, lying down, really connected to the awareness of this body as it is in this moment. How does it want to sit down?

[19:53]

How does it want to walk? How much energy is there? How can I sync up and move in accord with the energy level that's there? How fast do I, how does that inform me how I pick up the plate and to serve the food on the plate when I do this in tune with this body at this point? Can I feel how much energy it takes to lift the pot and carry the pot? Or do I just grab it and go with it and then think, oh, this is heavier? So if I'm connected, I actually ground myself in a different way and I walk in a way that allows the body to carry this pot.

[20:58]

Or I may say to somebody, this is too heavy for me. And that's okay, because for somebody else it might not be too heavy. So, to stop our habits of being distracted by stories, being distracted by experience, and rather than just letting it be that experience, ops, there is now whatever on my ball, not where I'm supposed to be. Can we stop that, is the instruction.

[22:01]

We need to stop that, otherwise all these habits of reaction, and I, mine, myself, run the show. And that show is called Suffering. That is additional suffering to maybe pain in your body that needs attention. If you ask, it will tell you when it's damaging pain. So if your legs fall asleep and you get up and they're still asleep after 10 minutes, then you're sitting in a way that presses on a nerve. If it wakes up and you have pins and needles, but it wakes up, then it was just the blood flow. It's not the nerve. So we have very intelligent bodies that talk to us all the time. So, to be aware when we have stories, be aware when we have our habitual reactions already, gives us the power to actually return, to let them go, say goodbye, and let them go and come back to our body.

[23:27]

The second part of calming and arriving and being here has five steps. It's recognizing what's going on physically or mentally or emotionally. This is what is happening. Fear is arising. Worry is arising. Anger is arising. Sorrow is arising. Pain is arising. Thinking stories are going on. And the second step is recognizing what's happening. The second step is accepting. So accepting has something to do with, oh, this is going on, and not go wrong. no, or it's that person's fault, or it's my fault, or it's actually just, oh, here it is, and accept it with kindness, surrounding it with kindness, not judging it, just not pushing it away and not grabbing it, just that's it right now.

[24:56]

That's what I'm aware of. And then surrounding it with tolerance, patience, generosity. Thich Nhat Hanh has the image of holding it like a distressed baby in your arms. Usually that helps us have a sense of what that feeling is because we won't say, well, I only hold you when you're not distressed. We may have had mothers and fathers like that. So sometimes that does happen. But in our hearts, we feel that that will be a good thing to just hold it, whether or not we understand why it is distressed or what exactly is going on. But first of all, we just say we're here. We're here. And you can be here exactly the way you are. I have you here, but you better change now. because I don't like it. Even when we speak, then I have to say, I don't like it.

[25:58]

So that's a nice thing. We can see, oh, I'm speaking, so we can forget about that. We can just say, both have a place. Everything has a place to be here, whether or not we understand it at this moment. Then, when we do that, we might get information because if we hang out with that distress or pain, as I described before, or an emotion, if we just surround an emotion like that too, we may suddenly start seeing what has supported this to come up, what triggered it, but what was ready to be triggered. You know, the trigger seems to be maybe something outside, like, to stay with the example, like a server or a bell ringer.

[27:03]

But many things came together to bring this forward. So when we're quiet with it. That embracing actually is usually very calming already. So our perceptions open up and we see deeper. And sometimes we understand. Senju brought a really wonderful example yesterday of sitting there and allowing, embracing the experience you had with that heart of kindness and nonjudgmental and alertness and kind of a friendly curiosity. And you saw a conditioning. It opened up to an underlying imprint conditioning.

[28:08]

And that doesn't take a sharpness. It takes an awakeness and a kind interest a soft interest, but I'm going to get to the bottom of this, that's not going to open it up. It's more like really a surrendering. And it's in some ways the surrendering of all the ideas and the step that we have about ourselves and the world around and a stepping into truly unknown territory. where we don't know what the answers are going to be. And we are willing to not know, but to let it tell us, to find out. And that's leaping off the 100-foot pole.

[29:11]

That's a leap of faith. And the eye gets a little bit... Because the eye... wants to know. The I functions unknowing. So I didn't bring a watch. I have no idea what the time. Okay, thank you. I'm reading you a quote from Krishnamurti. I hope that you will listen, but not with the memory of what you already know. And this is very difficult to do. You listen to something and your mind immediately reacts with its knowledge, its conclusions, its opinions, its past memories.

[30:23]

It listens, inquiring for a future understanding. Just observe yourself, how you are listening, and you will see that this is what is taking place. So, is this how you have listened? Kind of measuring everything that comes, that you hear, against what you know, and what you can do with it. Either you are listening with a conclusion, with knowledge, with certain memories, experiences, or you want an answer and you are impatient. You want to know what it is all about, what life is all about, the extraordinary complexity of life. you are not actually listening at all.

[31:29]

You can only listen when the mind is quiet, when the mind doesn't react immediately, when there is an interval between your reaction and what is being said. Then, in that interval, there is a quietness. There is a silence in which alone there is a comprehension which is not intellectual understanding. In that interwall, there is a quietness. There is a silence in which alone there is a comprehension which is not intellectual understanding. if there is a gap between what is said and your own reaction to what is said, in that interval, whether you prolong it indefinitely for a long period or for a few seconds, in that interval, if you observe, there comes clarity.

[32:51]

It is the interval that is the new brain. The immediate reaction is the old brain. And the old brain functions on its own traditional, accepted, reactionary, animalistic sense. When there is an abeyance of that, when the reaction is suspended, when there is an interval then you will find that the new brain acts, and it is only the new brain that can understand, not the old brain. So I think we could talk about, instead of brain, about layers of our mind, which layers of the mind we inhabit with awareness.

[33:57]

and which areas or spaces of the brain we are just not aware of because we are caught up in these other layers. So can we use the sensations, the perceptions that come to us through our ears, our eyes, our kinesthetic sense, our mind, our feelings, our thoughts, as just experiencing and not make them into definitions about what they mean about ourselves, definitions of who we are or who other people are.

[35:08]

Can we use them? And I think the second talk Buddha gave was to the five disciples saying that because nothing has an... inherently independent self and existence, there is no I, mind, and myself that is really truly there. So one way he suggested was to keep saying to each experience that the I, the sense of self, wants to grasp, this is not I, this is not mine, this is not myself. That is one possibility to help to let go of that self-concept that then grasps at something and distracts us to stay with just the experience.

[36:13]

The experience is, you know, bell rang too early. Hot, maybe hot coming through your body, you know, because the mind goes, oh, I shouldn't have. And the body reacts, what the stories we are having have immediate effect on our bodies. We blush, we get hot, we sweat, we get cold, we get tight. But to just go, oh, this is the connection, but to not spin the wheel, to come back to the body and embrace it just the way it is. And have you made yourself comfortable? Have you already done that here? Are you all sitting in a way that is feeling good to your body? If you're not, please do. So to just be trusting that how you are, what's coming up,

[37:27]

is perfect in itself, whether or not we can see it. We don't have to see it and we do not have to understand it intellectually. It is just so. And that is what is felt in the Zendo and in the whole building, is that everything is perfect perfect, just so. And what needs to happen will happen. You will know when you need to talk to somebody. You will know when you need to move. You will know where to go. You will find your way, even though you don't know ahead of time. So you don't have to organize ahead of time what you're going to do if and when. So we've all jumped into this pool together, and I, from my seat, it's a wonderfully harmonious event with all the many, many sounds that are going on in each person.

[38:48]

It's a beautiful, beautiful aliveness. Thank you very much. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[39:21]

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