This podcast is offered by San Francisco Zen Center on the web at sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. This is a magnificent room. And I'm very pleased. to have the opportunity to speak with you this morning. In particular, I wanted to thank David Zimmerman, who had the idea to include me in the conversation that is Zen Center and Pate Street practice. When I came to Zen Center in 1972, a man by the name of Isan opened the door for me.

[01:12]

Some of you may have known him. And anyone who knew him was very fortunate and happy to report on what it was like to be with him. Anyway, Isan's practice, on that particular occasion, he would run the buffer on the hall. He did that for quite a few years. I think he might have been the director at the time. But to warm up a bit, I thought I would tell you a story of some of my life here at Page Street. I was here for a few years, and then I went to Tassajara. When I came back... I think I was in the process of being ordained. It was a very heady time. And I was feeling kind of lost.

[02:14]

And during that period of time I had been given the opportunity to study tea with Okusan, Suzuki Roshi's wife. And I was very mediocre. T student. But even so, that remains one of the most enduring influences of my time at Zen Center. Being around her was a particular pleasure, although you couldn't really say why. And that also gave me an opportunity, someone thought it would be a good thing for me to help her shop. I was her assistant, and I would carry her bags. And we'd go shopping every so often to Japantown, and it was great fun to watch her do the very mundane things that a person done while shopping for vegetables and fish.

[03:17]

A few of those occasions, she would invite me to have lunch with her after. And so... She mentioned that one of her practices in those days was to try to have a conversation with someone every day. That was quite a wonderful idea. Anyway, I was rattling on about my particular challenges of the moment. And although Ok San's language was pretty good, it wasn't great. Anyway, she was listening. And at some point she said to me, you know, Peter San, I really haven't understood a thing you said. So that was fun. My talk this morning is about what is called stream entry.

[04:26]

It's a really old Buddhist concept. You might say it's entering the path of practice, getting a feel for what this is. And when I first arrived, I didn't think much of a phrase like stream entry. I had other ideas. I was looking for signs of progress, marks of distinction. and recognition, you know, sort of what I would describe as heroic Zen. In those days, the Shusō ceremony, sort of a graduation ceremony that happens for people who are given the opportunity to be the head student, were very much like that. They were sort of dramatic, a little bit confrontational. And I think in those days we understood Buddhism as kind of a challenge.

[05:31]

And so that was just how we understood it. But stream entry is actually not an idea or an intention. It's a kind of discovery. And how we understand practice... has a big effect on how it looks to us. And how it looks to us changes over time. And it changes because the ideas that we bring to practice are found to be incomplete. And it changes when we begin to see that our attitudes create barriers with others and confusion for ourselves. So in each of us there's a big host of conditions and priorities which can develop into avenues or barriers that we encounter as we begin to experience the real demands of practice.

[06:56]

We don't like this. We prefer that. We avoid structure. Or we're moved by passionate expression. So one take on stream entry might be the time and energy we spend trying to figure out how to get inside the gate, or even if we want to get inside the gate. If we're practicing hard enough, if we have the energy or the commitment. So what is the right relationship with practice? So one of the things that I've noticed over the years is something that relates to stream entry is how we define ourselves within the sphere of practice. Some people might say the sphere of practice is the Sangha. Those people who identify

[08:01]

or commit or aspire to practice Buddhism and how that feels to us. It might feel like a treadmill or something we submit to. So then the question becomes, looking around, who can we see that we can relate to and find encouraging? So all these challenges and possibilities are built into practice and it really takes time to sort our relationship to them. And so whether we choose to establish our practice within a residential community or visit or sit retreats

[09:07]

or study. We have to, at some point, figure out in some version — it's not a final version — what of this practice is truly us. And more importantly, what can we sustain by way of effort or energy or offering. At some point, stream entry might mean noticing that our sitting and our appreciation of practice is carrying us. The effort might extend or change into practicing for or with others. The sutras say that we are always in the midst of enlightenment.

[10:13]

It's just that being human, we have some other enlightenment in mind. So Zazen gives us an endless opportunity to notice and appreciate the view, the view of ourselves interior life. Sitting practice is really rigorous stuff and many people find it overwhelming, the barrage of business that goes on between our ears. And yet, We've been told from the beginning exactly what's going on. Suzuki one time said, the reverend said, you should not be bothered by what you think.

[11:24]

That's quite a revolutionary idea. So practicing with community is challenging. We know we need the support. And of course, We buck a bit at the endless demands and the conformity. And for some, because these challenges are so demanding, we may interpret that as stream entry. I'm working hard. I must be getting there. And so initially we might imagine that practice is a project like any other. Get a hold of the doctrine. Get a feel for the structure. Identify your objectives. What's fascinating is that the people that we practice with don't seem to respond, as we might hope, to this approach.

[12:36]

practice is somewhat unusual in that we are thrown in with everyone else, all these strange people, and we're left alone in some very fundamental way. And all our efforts are graciously accepted and appreciated. What is particularly, however, appreciated in the midst of Our calculation and our ambition is what I would call direct communication, consideration, generosity, simplicity, a sense of humor. Also expressing our doubts and confusion is also not a bad idea. So in the course of practice we develop quite an acute sense of our patterns and our rough edges.

[13:46]

But eventually we begin to notice the gifts and intentions of other people. Perhaps that is really the beginning of stream entry. When I met Ison, I was struck by the fact that I had encountered someone who had no particular idea about me. He had no preconception. He had no tendency to inventory me. So I found myself in the presence of someone that I was completely okay with. That's quite unusual. Now I thought, naturally enough, that I was special. But many people had that same experience.

[14:51]

So it took me quite a long time to feel out what stream entry meant to me. And I discovered that despite all of the support and encouragement, maybe even demand of long sittings and so forth, that zazen was something that I had to discover and develop on my own. After time, you get quite a feel for a pretty wide range, possibility, and you can develop a sense that sitting is a refuge, whether you like it or not. And as you develop a perspective on sitting, you also develop a perspective on your own way, your own kind of practice.

[16:10]

And that extends Practice does not, well, I would say that the most fundamental business of friendship, which Suzuki Roshi at one point said, is the whole of practice, is really what's going on. Just wishing people well, as it so happens, is tremendously powerful to walk into a room with the idea that or a feeling that you are free to be there, welcome to be there, and you appreciate the other people rather than some more careful approach.

[17:17]

Some people say that a good education is what opens you up to the vast amount that you don't know. And interestingly enough, this not knowing that is so frequently referred to in the Zen world helps you develop a kind of confidence that extends. So now you might have the feeling that you're moving with the current, navigating a bit, and we don't know at all the depth and the width of the stream we're in. And it's probably quite normal to try to figure that out, try to figure out where we stand, how to navigate

[18:27]

but as the stream becomes more palpable you can begin to notice the strength and the quality of the current between you and other people what kind of space how much noise or uncertainty and you might begin to detect something like a rhythm the pace of your day the speed of your movements, your sense of balance or lack of it. So at some point I began to look with somewhat new or renewed interest at what is described as the path, what is described in the sutras. And that literature, that accumulation of experience,

[19:38]

began to seem much more interesting and personal. But it also becomes more clear that the rocks and the eddies that you encounter are of your own creation. And they will stick around. There was a wonderful moment in a very early sashin I heard as part of the lore, but people had been sitting for what seemed like days and hours and who knows what. And Suzuki Roshi came in and said, the problems that you are wrestling with will last the rest of your life. I think that people at that moment thought that was pretty funny.

[20:41]

So the shift from fixating on your own practice, your own predicament, and appreciating and supporting the practice of others just seems to take persistence and time. And I well remember the attitudes and energy I came in with and how it did not and could not include the offerings and the limitations of many other people. In particular, I'd mentioned two journeyman practitioners, Jerome Peterson and Ananda Dahlenberg. Jerome was a very unlikely-looking priest. And I think, last time I checked, in the art room, his picture is there. And under that is a quote... I got there eventually.

[21:49]

Under his picture is a quote that says, the trouble with Buddhism is it's invisible, which is completely true and truly great. So speaking of the stream, I'd like to read from you a favorite of mine, a poem. by a local poet, Kay Ryan, who, in addition to being local and truly great, was a poet laureate of the U.S. at some point. And the poem is called The Niagara River. So it goes, As though the river were a floor, we position our table and chairs upon it, eat and have conversation. As it moves along, we notice, as calmly as though dining room paintings were being replaced, the changing scenes along the shore.

[23:02]

We do know, we do know that this is the Niagara River, but it is hard to remember what that means. So those are my thoughts and I understand there will be an opportunity to have a more relaxed conversation in the dining room later but we may have a little time if there are any comments or questions. I'm always interested. Yes? Surely. Ananda I think I remember him giving a talk in this room, and he reminded me of what I would describe as a Midwestern, maybe Baptist, but anyway, a preacher. And among other things, he wanted us to sing a song.

[24:07]

Man, that was just too hokey, you know? This is not the Zen I imagined. But one of the things that he related at some point, I don't remember exactly in what context I read it, but Ananda was... part of the era where the Zen Center community was in the process of trying to hijack the Reverend Suzuki from the folks at Sakoji. And since we were the true meditators and they were just a bunch of Japanese people, it was a clear choice. But... One of the things Ananda mentioned that he noticed over the years, because as young, ambitious monks, we were pretty dismissive of the Japanese mode, which was, we get together, we have celebrations, we do funerals. This is it. This is really it. And in fact, it is really it.

[25:12]

And our community... the Zen Center community eventually woke up to the fact that the Sangha and the gathering and the endless experience of people living and practicing together is the most powerful thing. You know, when I go into the Zendo, I know the people that put down the floor and the man who designed and helped to assemble the Thans. And because I'm a builder and have spent a lot of time with that, I relate to all the wonderful contributions that people make over time. So it's a marvelous thing to experience your connection with that tradition. And...

[26:17]

I think the stories are what give it life. The stories and my experience of people over 30 or 40 years is what makes practice part of me and what makes sense of practice. Well, the few light bulbs that go off in my head don't last very long, but my appreciation for others just keeps going. More about not knowing? Well, I think when you sit, you notice how much of your life is involved in calculation and planning. And sitting, among other things, is trying to nudge you in the direction of here... So all your involvement in your future plan or past regrets is just another story.

[27:30]

You noticing your breathing gives you an opportunity to be in your body. And that seems to be transformational. You may notice it, for example, more in other people. Maybe their gift of unscripted behavior. Maybe they're just settled sincerity. An example that I might cite is there are some people who can exhaust you with their conversation. They're pretty good at broadcasting. They're not so good at receiving. And as a matter of fact, they hardly stop for breath. And so... after a little bit of time in their company, you kind of run out of gas. And not knowing is quite an antidote for that kind of compulsion.

[28:33]

Not knowing gives you the experience of seeing your need to express or your need to be careful, whatever. That's what occurs to me. If you have the opportunity to talk with someone, you might ask them about their own early time, what it was like.

[29:34]

I think that meeting someone in practice is the most interesting and convincing thing. Somebody will say something that resonates or someone will... present themselves in a way that you find interesting. That's, I don't know, that's what gets to me. You know, Zen Center has developed an amazing broad gate and many, many people can come and investigate sitting, investigate helping others in various ways, investigate, study. When I started, I found Buddhist studies to be pretty grim, not so interesting. And yet, there clearly are more opportunities for people to investigate these things which are in some ways quite informal. When I began, I had the idea, for example, that koans, and we're not necessarily a koan tradition, although we more and more are including that kind of...

[30:48]

investigation was just not. To me that seemed very, I don't know, pretentious and so forth. I didn't quite see it. But I've been involved in some classes lately of what I would call very informal koan study where people who are very new to Zen and Buddhism just express their reaction. the koans and whenever you're talking about koans you're talking about yourself and so it's been quite a revelation to me how much fun it is to have those kinds of conversations often when I am part of a group at least initially I feel like I have very little to say but when people start talking and there's some back and forth then things begin to move And so those are very fruitful for me, that kind of conversation.

[31:56]

Trying to make sense of the Heart Sutra by yourself, I don't know. But, you know, with a few other folks, things will come up that may be helpful. And interestingly enough, in Buddhism, understanding it, well, not such a big deal. strange but true. Yes, please. I don't think about death much, but I have had the great good fortune of being around people who are dying, and that's tremendously encouraging. For example, in our culture, many people have the idea that if you're sad, there's something wrong. There's nothing wrong. I had a wonderful assistant in my work, and I spent more time with this woman than probably anybody else in my life.

[33:08]

She worked with me for over 25 years, and when she was dying of brain cancer, I would visit her once a week, we'd have some treats and coffee. Toward the end, she didn't even feel it necessary to look at me. She was beyond all the conventions, all the reassuring gestures. And I felt tremendously grateful for that time with her. The fact that she's not with me in body, in no way diminishes the scale of her life. So... Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, you can be glib about it sometimes. You can say, in the Zen world, death is no big deal. One of my best friends, his son is dying.

[34:08]

Oh, it's a big deal. Enough? Well, thank you very much. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, please visit sfcc.org and click giving. May we all fully enjoy the Dharma.

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