Stopping and Listening

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Sunday Lecture Children's Lecture: Baby beluga; why are you here?; Dogen's Three Minds: joyful mind, kind mind, big mind; mother's love as essence of spirituality (Dalai Lama); parental mind as nourishing mind; karmic retribution; big mind a resource

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ah the days the to the target dogs were
good morning
oh this thing works and
so welcome
welcome to this place on a typical foggy day have you seen the sun here in the last week
no
i come from over the hill
and
i've seen the edge of the fog
so is there anyone here who is here for the first time today
now
some children here are the first time
so when a particularly welcome you i'm here myself for the first time in a long time
so for the first few minutes i want to particularly
talk to
the children are sitting in front and the parents

hum
part of our practice what we call our practice is to listen
and so i like you to join me with a little few moments of listening
and well i could it ask meg
sitting by the bell to ring the bell
before she does it though everyone can raise their hand and just listen to the bell close your eyes
and as long as you hear the bell sound hold your hand up and then when you don't hear the sound any longer
and put your hand down and just listen to the silence
okay can you do that
now come

huh
is it still ringing

so let's see maybe some of your children can tell me where we are right now
how many know where we are
yeah
green gulch farm i good here
is
what's a gulch you know
pretty speed down now
may
later
maybe he did not hear that so that's pretty steep coming down into the golf and you have to have to hold it into first gear
then
so how did how does the gulch happen
why
to have been ah
can anyone else know about being go to the raging river
so where does the river come from
right
goes to the beach
so we're talking about the power of water
power water that actually the water coming down from the hills has actually made the gulch this narrow canyon that widens out and you get down on the beach
the way now
damn the more you come
tyler
okay

so when the water comes down the gulch where does it go
goes down
there's there's someone else who knows if you can't quite a bit as someone else who may know where the water goes

has anyone taken a walk all the way down to the beach
yeah
all right and what's what did you find out of the beach
what i will hear their shells yeah it's one thing you find it the way is good
and
what's beyond the beach
water water yeah

so green gulch the water comes down makes the gods and goes out to the water we call it what what's the name of the big water
ocean
what lives in the ocean
fish
all right good huh
crabs
yeah
okay so there are fish and crabs and what else lives in the ocean
what else
sting rays
so what's really big lives in the ocean
well
yeah
blue rails really be again so today i'd like to share a little song about a whale that lives in the ocean
and
value is gonna pass out some words
and i have a cocky hearing
this where i was a white whale
it's called the beluga
and a beluga lives in the ocean farther north in here if you'd go out to the ted the beach and then you go up because not because till you get to alaska
that's where beluga live
so maybe some of you know the song baby beluga
if you know the song are ready you can live you can sing at the first time through if you don't you can listen and sanger the next time through
and we'll sing it until they get it right and i had been
and then that
okay
now before i do this i'm going to have a sip of the water that runs right through green gulch

baby beluga and the deep blue sea swim so rather than his rams are free have an about and the suit baylor and or then arrived well on the go back to back
god bamboo bath bomb is the right or wrong is your mama home with you sir happy way down yonder the dolphins play when the die that
and splash are they heard is rarely in and the ran out are there are artist and out of your spot on bam bam bam be bang god
god saying your letter sound saying per our friends we like to hear you ran it's dark and your own man fan curve snob and your rubber band maroon and shiny
ing in the stars are our garden i would rather burn night bam bam bam bam bam bam bam bam bam read tomorrow sand another those began us
the burger and the deep blue sea certain sir rod angeles rams saw free hand i bob and the see below and iran iraq war on the guy who used as the letter i were
on the goal
actually
okay
i think we got it right the first time
so
this song i was taught to me by my nephew
when he was
five years old
and now is little bit older but i'm very grateful to him
for bringing baby beluga to me and i can pass it on to you and you can take these with you and if you want to in around the the ocean in the whale and the sun and the fish you get
home or whatever you can do there
so thank you all for coming
and listening to the bell
and for telling me about the gulch
and the water in the ocean and for singing
okay
so now that the children
and whoever is escorting them can find their way out
thank you

i
yeah
and now
i hi lizzie
going to see you thanks for telling me about the clowns

so we talk about silence
and returning to stillness
and our practice right now
i'm enjoying the sound of the children's voices
as included
in silence included in stillness

now there's someone keep time
let me know and there's a few more minutes okay
what time are we supposed to and byline

that's quieter anytime time between eleven and eleven thirty two is quite a range
ha
so i feel very grateful
and to be here with all of you

my sense is that
each one of you
his here for some some deep reason
and that you're on
dharma path
have you don't call it a dharma path
i'm your intuition
maybe or on sense that there's something
ah
that you like to reach more deeply in your life
or maybe you're here because
you're unhappy with the news of the day
which can be draining and worrisome than frightening

when i was
about ten years old
i was contemplating
at that time what was i doing i was i was walking along over the hill to wear my sheep were
and i was wondering about birth and death
as i think back on it now i think that one of my lambs and died
ah when i was nine years old my father gave me some shape to take care of the for each project and then didn't really give me in a
ah guidance
so i was taking care of
some lambs and one of the had died
i was perplexed
and i was worried about my own life i was worried about whether i would live or die
and somehow as i was walking over the little hill down to where the sheep where i i had some realization that there was okay actually
whether i lived or died was okay
that they ah shape that were living in the shape that were dying or okay
and there was a
at that time i felt how can i respond to this how can i live with this
i didn't really have words for it
now i say that my feeling was i wanted to live ah i kind of dedicated myself actually to living in accordance with the totality of things
but then i became a teenager i forgot all about that
the
and then when i was about twenty five i felt
again i needed to really look more deeply into my life the things that our that i was trying to do weren't really working
i began sitting zazen but i have to stop
whatever i'm doing i really don't even know what i'm doing i need to stop
and so i stopped
and at some point someone
i gave me the book three pillars of zana nice read it and started sitting
and after i'd been sitting for about twenty years i remembered this
event that happened when i was about ten
so i think some of you here maybe
have some similar kind of experience
then maybe you have forgotten or half remembered
well you have some intuitive feeling that
the practice of stopping
and sitting
the somehow important

the take just a moment right now i'm just checking with yourself
what's the deep meaning of your being here

want to talk a little bit about the mind
ah it's a source mine
that supports all of our other us
i'll say more partial minds
and that conclusion of the tens or kilgannon or duggan's angie's
instructions to the cook
he talks about three minds
or three hearts actually use the word shin shin can mean heart or mind
so it really means heart and mind
he talks about joyful mind
and kind mind
and great mind as all being essential to the work of
being a cook
and for those of you who of course he is talking to the cook in a temple or a monastery
but i think that the
the notion of these three kinds of mind can be helpful through all of us in whatever work we do
whatever activity we find ourselves in
the driver mind
he talks about gratitude
being grateful for this human life
monorail system a few sentences from go again
since you are cooking your meals and this lifetime this is a rite of rejoicing and a body of rejoicing it is a wholesome cause from limitless aeons
it is merit that does not erode
i hope that you will do your work and cook the meal this day and this very moment with this body
the fruit of myriad births
and thousands of lifetimes
thereby creating merit from myriad beings
the penetrate this is a joyful mine
so it talks about this very moment as being supported by lifetimes
this very moment is being supported by myriad beings
when the bell stopped ringing in the children put their hands down we had a little silence you may have noticed your breath
we may noticed that are you usually don't have to think about your breath
your breath just happens
so inserting we noticed the breath as a kind of gift
and naturally feeling of gratitude arises
my own experiences that joyful mine arises with paying attention when the mindfulness
and that can be an activity
then it can be and stillness those noticing the breath and just noticing that your whole body
it's not something that you created
your whole body the supported in this moment
by the earth
the atmosphere
all the beings that have gone into developing our complex wonderful amazing dna
there were sorting out
trying to sort out we have a thought were trying to sort this out are trying to locate which jane applies to what kind of predilection night for kind of disease what kind of genius
ah
it's already there
already right here for no guns saying appreciate this human life and they should be really an occasion moment by moment for gratitude and rejoicing

last night i was washing wooden boy we and our house use wooden bowl over and over again and i particularly like to eat out of a wooden ball
and
as i was washing it and of course of my wife lane says so
remember we don't use soap and the wooden bowls
go that might damage the i kind of their the oil that builds up and supports protects the woods so so it takes a lot of scrubbing
just with water and scrubbing and as i was scrubbing the wooden ball i notice
i'm actually caressing the wooden bowl
and i had a moment of just pure joy
caressing the wooden bowl
so this is joyful mind
whatever you're doing if you bring attention simply the paying attention to it
that ah had a lively satisfaction
and and talks about kind mind
he uses the image of apparent
i think we could also use image your friend
and wanna talk about kind mind quite a bit so i'll come back to it
and and then he talks about dyson a great mine

the we could say the great mind is actually the mind that we can't grasp
when you consider your on ah
mental physical emotional activity
there are parts of it that you can really get to know
there are parts of it that you can understand that you can actually say i can grasp it
and yet what is it that understands
whereas as consciousness come from
and so that question we begin to than and out of the questions and and wonder who's doing the questioning

so great mind is somehow supporting
the question that arises with who am i
the question that arises with who are you who am i meeting
great minds support
ah
both you and i without any distinction
logan says that section he says that great mind does not make any distinction or partially have any partiality about the weather is spring or fall whether it's a cold there a warm day
ah he might say whether the sun shining or the fog rolls in
whether something is ah
ah
one pounder one time
everything is equal in big mine
people because it's different each thing is unique and then its uniqueness is seen just as it is so on our practice we say
our practice is just to see things as it is
without having a preference
now with kind mine however with the second kind of mine it's relational
and if i have a relation ship you have preference
you have some feeling

well now i saw the film for the dalai lama
talking about his mother
the navy you see that
dalai lama talking about his mother
he said that
below that came from his mother was the essence of spirituality
he can say that as the dalai lama with authority
love that came from his mother the essence of spirituality parental love
and of course and he said when when i was a boy and i was was so
having a hard time with my lessons course he had many tutors as the dalai lama
he said when i have a hard time with my lessons i would go crying to my mother so his mother moved from the little country place for their living to the potala
i would go crying to my mother and she would tell me everything was all right
dogan talks about parental love and i realize that dogan ah suffered the loss of his parents and an early age his father died when he was about four and his mother died when he was about seven i think
and then he didn't have any children
so what's his experience of parental love
now i know them the experiences of all the people in this room very
some people have an experience of parental love like the dalai lama's where the for your mother is so kind and loving you can always count on her to sue the or injuries
well not everyone has a kind of experience her mother
some people have experience of a mother who doesn't know what to do with you
you might have experience of a mother who really is really ambivalent about your existence
so sometimes i think using the word parental love is not the best
ah
now my own mother actually i was i feel fortunate
when i was about five years old
i don't remember when i was so angry about but i decided i would run away from home
so i told my mother
i hate you i hate this place and running away
my mother said oh
you're gonna get hungry
would you like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich where your trip
i said okay
so she started making me a sandwich and then she said maybe like a little thermos of milk to take along with that said the i'm okay
i had the idea that i want to somehow i had the idea i wanted to have a tied up in a bundle and carried over my shoulder
i think i'd seen a picture of some hobo
classic image that's what i want it that's how i wanted to run away from home
so she said oh maybe i can find out
piece of cloth she found a big bandana
tied up my little lunch i found a stick put it over my shoulders and said good bye
happy
and i'm probably walked about a quarter of a mile
and then i sat down and ate my sandwich
my back home
so i think my mother actually showed parental love in that case where she didn't get upset with me living
nowadays
depending on what neighborhood you're in your maybe a little more concerned about having your five year old just go offering
ah
it was pretty safe area
so i guess she fell okay i will
i will not get too worried i'll know trust and situation and there she has sent me off with some nourishment
dominica parental mind as being nourishing mine

that's
nursing mind
ah can take many forms i wanted to read and just a note from another wonderful
mother who died recently so friend of mine jack travis to send me this email and this is jack's mother in law
and she lived over in oakland
until just recently
and this is what jack says my great mentor and friend evelyn norris
died friday august eighteenth on the dawning of her eighty fourth birthday
the developmental project carried on over a lifetime
by males under the heading of growing up and becoming a man the still going on and my seventy sixth year
mom his mother law
mom was subtle in her teaching ways and all the men who interacted with her felt empowered
we left her company with a sense of direction and enhance self esteem
and we somehow absorb the notion that the way they get this approval was to grow up and become more of a man
evelyn wisely left the details up to us

so we need parental a wise mind kind line
ah
and our human culture
and we sometimes don't realize that we're surrounded by other cultural matrixes as well i want to it tell one story from africa
some of you may be many of you have heard it ah
and you know that elephants are largely matriarchal societies
the the wise matriarch knows all the waterholes knows all the places to feed knows how to take care of the younger elephants the male elephant stay with the with the matriarchal group for maybe twelve or fourteen years something like that and
then they go off
as adolescent males
elephants have lifespans about the same as ours
so in one of the parks in and east africa
the rangers one time came upon a dead rhinoceros
and studying it
they were perplexed as this this rhinoceros had not just died and have been killed
and if they went about their rounds they discovered another dead rhino
that have been killed and as they examine the situation they determined that the elephants were killing the rhinos
this has never been happening i hadn't happened before
so they brought in a consultant
someone who knew more about elephants them the rangers in this particular park new and this person has some questions and found out that they had the year before had with a human and our cleverness and determined that there were too many elephants in this part
and so they decided to call some of the elephants calling
so they decided to kill the older male elephants that they thought were going to die sooner anyway so there was a logic to killing off the older male elephants so they've killed off the older male elephants
and so they determined that it was the young male elephants said started killing the rhinos
so this consultant said i recommend that you bring in some old male elephants
and they took that suggestion and a short time later and the killing of the rhinos stopped
we don't know you know how elephant culture of works
but with our human hubris we often think that we know
carla the we know enough to make some
drastic decision my calling the heard
so much of the trouble that we have as human beings i think comes from the unintended consequences of our actions
which we call karma
karmic retribution comes in many forms
so part of actually being
able to live the meaning of kind mind
is too
of begin with listening
and understanding the situation
before you act
now we tend to be impatient beings we tend not to really be willing to listen long enough
in many cases
we don't even understand that actually we're creating culture every time we take an action every time we have thought were actually creating culture
so is our action coming from kindness or is it coming from a kind of idea of kindness
the coming from us
oh assumption
this is the way it should be a lot of parents i see ah are not listening
a lot of friends i see or talk to or not really listening to their friends listening to each other
here's someone looking for are you looking for
ah
ah
and most of us don't really listen to ourselves
listening to ourselves i was actually kind of scary
some aspects of ourselves that we're
ah happy with that we think are acceptable we've been told i acceptable
other aspects of ourselves are not acceptable
so we'd only want to know about them
so we make decisions and act ah because we just have a little bit of information and i think and the culture that i see we're living in there's more and more stress and war anxiety and i think we tend to never stop
and settle our minds
many of us never stop and settle our minds so are making decisions
based upon just a little bit of information and then we react
you know that you know we have in our brain a little almond sized bed of ah
hava matter that we called the amygdala which is
part of our essential survival system that came from ah say the reptilian part of revolution
reptiles are pretty good at reacting when there's some threat if you see turtles sunning on a log and you go up close enough quickly quickly it's amazing how fast the turtle can slip off a log and disappear into the river
one time i was where i was camped out
upon the russian river
and early in the dawn
barely getting light
i suddenly felt this creature crawl across my face
and i went ah
i thought it's a skunk it's a raccoon
and then few seconds later
i realized it was my wife's hair
sheer can reach across cross me for a flashlight and neck or something

it was amazing to me have quickly i had decided that it was a threat and
i mean i hadn't decided and thought about it later i learned that this is the way part of our and neuro system or neurological system works
that we actually for our own survival have built into us that kind of reaction before we know it it what it is
now if you get scared and scared and scared enough you never
relax
or if you get scared and some tremendously powerful dramatic way
for example ah
many of the people that i meditate worth in san quentin our vietnam veterans
many of them went to vietnam they actually a word
i put in a very scary situations
they came back
and reacted
to well we would see as normal situations
thinking that there might be some threat
one friend of mine said that there was terrifying to lock in the grocery store
you never know what box of cereal might be a bomb
explode
so if you're walking around in a state of anxiety like that you naturally react
we call
you can't always be perfect com all the time
you can you have things you have to do right
you have to make dinner
you may already retired it's a long day
you may have had an argument with the person earlier in the day your child comes up and say what do you want
in the child feels numb
what does a child for you
maybe left out may be hurt
maybe rejected so i'll have these experiences
and we carry them in various ways so part of our sitting practice of actually come in and stopping and sitting still
there's an occasion for the various have
a pains that we've suffered
to emerge and become a clear so people come and they want to sit and be calm
and then they come to me and they say i said but i wasn't com
i wanted to be calm but my mind was going teacher
i wanted to said but then i started thinking about a painful memory and it just took over
so this is the interplay and between the kindness that we want to have that we want to feel we want to feel it towards ourselves we want to feel it towards others
and the tremendous resource we have in big mind
you may think a big mine actually as
a tremendous vast
resource
if you can actually allow yourself to stay present
he begin to notice all the things that are not quite big mind
the ideas that you have that are that are less that are limited
and if you can bring from within yourself the feeling of ah carrying of acceptance just pure being with
then you're beginning to activate the resource that you have
the big mind resource that you have
so this resource that has actually supporting all of us all the time
ah
he's actually what's underneath joyful mind and kind mine

i like to think that the zendo is kind of like on
rechargeable moment my more like a generator the zendo like a generator
and that people can come here
and said and recharge
the resource capacity tap into big mind
and then i'm going out from here that big mind can support the
i've thought of joyful mind the thought of kind mine

kindness doesn't always look like gentleness
there's another story which comes from the history of suzuki roshi who was the founder of san francisco zen center and he had a difficult time with his teacher in japan
when he was
twelve years old he started dubbed staying with his teacher with a small group of other other kids
wonder they were served the daikon radishes that were rotten
so they didn't eat em
they put them aside turning back the next day they were served the same rotten radishes
so this time they took him when they they want and they buried him in the garden
next day
they were served the same rotten radishes
same rotten daikon
their teacher
insisted
that they regard this rotten radish
as nourishment
what was he doing
has he been cruel
in this in our country now that parents would bring a lawsuit right
so what about the teaching that goes beyond what seems kind
that actually pushes you to regard ah rotten radish
and sweet rice
as equal

so in our zen training we also go beyond parental mind that go beyond kind mine
we go beyond joyful mine
so big mine includes
the recognition that none of these
i complete

so sometimes we also say no mine

so as you
ah
step up with your friends
notice whether you are actually coming from some idea of kindness
are you willing to actually just be
completely present with them
without any
judgment
it's okay to have judgment we need to that judgment
but it's good to know when you're having a judgment
and you know when it's okay to serve our rotten radishes
so thank you for listening
thank you for appreciating
peanut butter sandwiches
and rotten radishes