This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. For those who are here for the first time, my name is Kiku, which means loom of emptiness, Kristina Lehnhe. I'm currently holding the position of abiding abyss here at City Center, and I will be interested who is here for the very first time. Would you mind raising your hands high up? So I can see you. morning and welcome and I hope something in this morning whichever parts you are going to participate will touch your heart and make you feel you get something to take with you into your everyday life and please come back because each time it's a different thing so feeling

[01:26]

encouraged and invited to come back as many times as you like and only take with you what resonates with you. You don't worry about the rest. We have a big conference happening here which is called Branching Streams which are affiliate teachers and students from affiliate sanghas that have come from here and spread out through the whole of the United States, and some of them actually have spread now to Europe, too. I mean, different stages. Baker Roshi is in Europe. He brought Suzuki Roshi's teaching there. Vanya Palmers is in Europe. And most recently, Bernd Bender, who was the work leader here, has now... started the Zendo in Berlin in Germany. So it's spreading, it keeps spreading, and we have invited whoever can come here to be together and share their experiences and their needs and their wants with each other and also with us, kind of the mothership, or how you want to call this, motherhouse.

[02:52]

or father house. This morning, a lot of them came to meditate with us early in the morning, and we end the meditation period before service here in the Buddha Hall, we end with the rope chant, in which we say, great rope of liberation, field far beyond form and emptiness, wearing the the Buddha's teaching, saving all beings. And it was just amazing to hear all those voices come up together to chant that. It was such an immediate feeling, sense of that family, that is spread usually wide apart.

[03:54]

The United States come together in that chant. It was absolutely wonderful. I think if you're here and you're participating in the full moon ceremony, when we take the precepts once a month, that happens too when the one person, the chanter, introduces the line and then the whole community joins in, it's a similar feeling. So, many things are happening in everybody's life. And they seem to happen all at the same time. And then we have these teachings that say, the great way is not difficult. Or, That's from the Xin Xin Ming. Or, all aspects of every phenomena are completely clear and lucid.

[05:00]

The whole universe is open and unobstructed, mutually interpenetrating. Nothing is hidden. That's from the Maha'ati, the Great Perfection. Or, All ingredients for being fully alive, fully human, and fully awake are always present in each moment and in all circumstances of your very own life. That's Pema Church. So, A great way is not difficult. How is that possible? So right now, we have branching streams, we have 80 more people.

[06:02]

I'm feeling like I have to simultaneously prepare to go to Tassajara, give a talk here, wrap up unfinished business before I go, think about what I'm going to teach for three months at Tassajor and what I need to take with me, my personal stuff, and then also kind of try to do all this while also taking care of my a little bit shook up brain from a fall. So I'm not quite functioning the way I used to, you know, not quite all right sometimes. with all the implications of that. So how is the great way not difficult? Because when my mind starts thinking about those things, I feel very quickly overwhelmed and would like to complain or...

[07:13]

go to my bed and pull the covers over me and wait till all this is over, or, you know, many, many options. So I would like to invite you just for a moment to think, what would you like, is there anything in your life that right now is up that you keep thinking you would like it to be different? I hear some laughter, so I think a few of us do that. That is what Buddha defines as suffering. I want to read to you a little bit what it says about... So my mind goes now, why didn't I organize this better?

[08:29]

I thought I had organized it, now I'm rifling through the papers. Suffering. Small suffering, but still suffering. The great way is not difficult for those who have no preferences. When love and hate are both absent, everything becomes clear and undisguised. So that relates back to the Maha'ati who says, all aspects of every phenomena are completely clear and lucid, the whole universe is open and unobstructed, everything mutually interpenetrating. When love and hate, when likes and dislikes are absent, everything becomes clear and undisguised.

[09:43]

If you wish to see the truth, then hold no opinions for or against anything. To set up what you like against what you dislike is the disease of the mind. That's the mind that is connected the usual way we think, and the usual way our thinking goes, it always kind of rotates and circles around our likes, dislikes, preferences, and our fractured perceptions around I, the big I, not this I, the big I, which then affects how we see things.

[10:47]

It also says in another translation, when likes and dislikes, actually that's, I think, from the Gea. In another translation, it says something like, when likes or dislikes arise, the mind is lost in confusion. Then we could say a wise orientation to spiritual practice would be to allow the mind to be undivided, which actually is its nature. The nature of the mind is completely undivided. The part of the mind that we use for our thinking is always thinking in subject, object, polarities, linear. So, wise orientation to spiritual practice is to allow the mind to be undivided.

[12:00]

Since the mind is whole when left alone, ultimately the only work, and I think that's just a fabulous sentence, Ultimately, the only work needed from us is to stop taking sides. Stop taking sides. That is so simple. Not so easy to do, because habitually, for the smallest, totally irrelevant thing, our mind wants to take sides. We tend to take sides. Well, this should be a little bit different, or, oh, that's a strange color, even though it has nothing.

[13:04]

Why would we think that? We don't need to, but we do. And it's always... looking and perceiving what we perceive as outside from ourselves and making it into an object. So the only work needed from us is to stop taking sides. In the absence of our commentary, if we stop commenting having a commentary on everything, we don't suffer. So for example, I'm going now and getting some therapy, somatic experiencing to help me recover from the fall and the concussion, which when we do have a trauma or an accident,

[14:05]

it tends to trigger all the traumas that have happened in our life. And there's no life which has not had some form of traumatic events, either sustained over a long time, neglect or miss not being met, or sudden, harsh events. When we... we have a new trauma, the old ones get triggered. So I'm going to therapy to see how, because I can feel how I'm impacted, and they're available now. So the therapy is really about not engaging, part of that therapy is really not engaging the thinking mind, which tries to evaluate or have a narrative about what the experience is, but to just stay connected in your body with the experience. So under guidance, that works when I'm there.

[15:09]

When I leave, I can watch my mind, go back and revisit that session and go. And the session leads me to the edge each time I'm led to the edge of where I think I know I have a narrative, so I think I know, and to the edge where I have to actually let go and be willing to be with not knowing. Not knowing. So it feels often like quite confused. And if I am allowing myself to hang out in that confused state, I can start to see, oh, for example... I discover that I am not sure if I am really here, the other person won't leave.

[16:16]

So then, how do I navigate that? So that's an old experience, but in this experience, the person doesn't leave. So how is that? When I go back and revisit, I have a part that thinks, oh my God, this, it's a man, this guy is gonna see all my deficiencies, what I consider my deficiencies. I don't want to go again. I don't want this, I don't want anybody to see that. Immediately when my mind goes that way, It creates a strategy to deal with it. When I'm right there, I think, oh, I can't have enough. I think I should make more appointments. So, you know, it's like a ping pong. And that's what it is when it says stop taking sides.

[17:22]

They might arise, they do arise, but we do not have to take them. That's an action. And to then strategize or plan or... Indeed, it is due to our choosing to accept or reject that we do not see the true nature of things. The moment we get into strategizing, manipulating, organizing around those... likes and dislikes, we are completely incapable to see the nature of what is actually happening. So Reb Anderson used to have a practice that he told us that for a long time he would say to every experience that was arising in him, he would say, thank you very much, I have no complaints whatsoever.

[18:26]

And he would say that to things that he liked, to things that he didn't like, to things that upset him, to things that made him happy. It was like a mantra. To help him not to then, because likes and dislikes arise, to kind of choose to lean one way or the other. So in the... Maha'ati, where are you? It says, so it says first, all aspects of every phenomena are completely clear and lucid. The whole universe is open and unobstructed, everything mutually interpenetrating. Since all things are naked, clear and free from obscuration, there is nothing to attain or realize.

[19:31]

The everyday practice, he goes on, is simply to develop a complete acceptance and openness to all situations and emotions and to all people experiencing everything totally without mental reservations, that picking and choosing of taking sides. Experiencing everything totally without mental reservations and blockages so that we do not withdraw or centralize on the I, on ourselves. So, stopping to take sides, letting go of commentary, running commentary, is a form of surrendering to something that is not known by the thinking mind.

[20:48]

I think it's in the Fukanza Zengi where it says Think of non-thinking. So I'm not sure if it's in the Fokonsa Senki. I'm never sure. So that's another opportunity for me to start having a commentary about that. And really get into a really big difficulty. I should know. What does that say about me? And it would easily come up so that How do we stay non-thinking? How do we remember to just drop the commentary and go back to the visceral experience? In the absence of our commentary, one part of the mind is not pitied any longer against the other.

[21:52]

So we are not divided in ourselves because when we say this is good and this is bad, I like this and I don't like that, we are divided inside. We create a division and a separation. One part of the mind is no longer pitted against the other and when it is whole, the mind cannot suffer. without resistance and without obscurations caused by that kind of combative relationship between likes and dislikes, a new dimension will become accessible. So in conflicts, divorce, or not seeing eye to eye, or having different interpretation of a situation.

[22:58]

When you listen carefully, both parties suffer. Both parties are somewhere unhappy. It's not, even if I get what I want, if the other person is unhappy about that, I'm not free to be completely happy. It just doesn't work. So usually we see and perceive and think through the filter of likes and dislikes. leads to living in a world where there are subjects and objects. And that is what is called one of the three poisons and is the main poison and it's ignorance.

[24:08]

Out of ignorance then not seeing that actually that way of living and perceiving based on likes and dislikes and responding and acting based on those hate and greed come out. Because I want this and I don't want that and I hate what is in the way and I seem to love what is not in the way. So a wise approach is to question all forms of separation while keeping the truth of unity. It's all interconnected and it's all one in our hearts. The branching streams, also these are mostly groups that work with smaller sanghas of

[25:17]

99% lay practitioners, householders. Like here, most of you are householders. And somehow, because Buddhism came from a culture and from cultures and evolved in cultures that had a big monastic tradition which was embedded in the culture, we have sometimes the feeling that you know, long retreats or special circumstances are the only ones in which we can wake up. Which is not true, which is exactly what Pema Chodron says, that every circumstance of our life, every moment of our life always has all the ingredients within it for the possibility to wake up completely, be fully human and fully alive. So we never have to wait for something.

[26:21]

Because if we do, if we wait and think, well, I wait for better circumstances, I wait till my life is less complicated. It's not going to happen. But I have that thought. I tend to just say, well, I do it tomorrow. And can we catch ourselves and say, well, how about... What is it I want to do tomorrow? How about I apply this right now? So don't wait. On the hand that calls us to the center, it says, awake, awake. I can't remember exactly what it says, even though I see it every day. birth and death. Life is fleeting. Wake up. There might not be a tomorrow.

[27:23]

So spiritually growing is fine-tuning our lives to the needs of the heart and understanding that actually all the aspects of each of our individual lives or our practice. It's not here is our life and then here we do the practice. It's actually everything. So that's another form of where we create separations. Oh, I'm doing my practice in the morning between 5.25 and 6.30 and the rest is work. And then I have free time and I go. That's not really how it is. It's all your life. And you might die while you meditate or you might die while you work or you might die while you do your sport or with your family or while you're sleeping in your bed.

[28:33]

We don't know. So are we there or do we parcel it out? I'm here like this and in my work situation I'm only here partially or Is this the only place where I'm fully present? So that's another way how we create divisions and suffering. When we believe we are not where we need to be for spiritual growth, we relegate our daily life to a secondary level. And we energetically leave our spiritual life and are waiting for the appropriate secluded situation, for example a retreat, to fully engage what we then call spiritual life. Leaning toward or away from any experience creates an anticipation of fulfillment in the future, which with it

[29:42]

has the impact that the sacred that exists here and now is lost to us. When we postpone something, not when we postpone a plan to go on vacation because that doesn't fit, that's not the kind of postponement, but when we postpone, when we postpone relaxing into what is now or feeling the feeling that is here now for a moment or acknowledging it or falling into likes and dislikes, we miss the sacred that is in each moment. Discovering the sacred within all moments is a hallmark of awakening.

[30:45]

And Hafez has a poem about that where he says, now is the time. Now is the time to know that all that you do is sacred. Now, why not consider a lasting truth with yourself and God. Now is the time to understand that all your ideas of right and wrong were just a child's training wheels to be laid aside when you finally live with veracity and love. Afez is a divine envoy whom the beloved has written a holy message upon. My dear, please tell me Why do you still throw sticks at your heart and God? What is it in that sweet voice inside that incites you to fear?

[31:51]

Now is the time for the world to know that every thought and action is sacred. This is the time for you to deeply compute the impossibility that there is anything but grace. Now is the season to know that everything you do is sacred. And that points to that how we think. If we think in likes and dislikes and choosing and picking, that will inform our actions. And in the five remembrances, it says our actions are the only thing we have. We will lose our life, we will lose our friends, everything changes, but our actions shape our life and will have consequences.

[32:57]

So what I do affects the entire sky and the whole earth. Dogen says that. Your practice And whether we practice awakening or whether we practice being not awake and picking and choosing, it's a practice. We're always practicing something. Old habits or something new. It affects everything because we're so interconnected. So how can we remember and stop taking sides. So whenever we feel we divide ourselves internally, can we just drop that? Can we step back and see what happened before that came up?

[33:59]

What's going on in my body? How can I keep in mind that the division I experience, I think I experience is actually a delusion. So how do I then relate to what I experience, the way I experience withholding at the same time in my mind that that's not quite the full picture? It's not like, oh, that's not how I feel it. Maybe I do feel it that way, to understand that I'm missing part of the picture. So then we can leave some space around it that there is more than what I understand right now. More than I can see right now. More than I can maybe be present for right now.

[35:01]

But if we have that, we might be a little more patient, a little more available to the experience that's unfolding rather than having immediately to take a stand for or against, which then kind of closes us down. It's really interesting how easily we tend to, when we learn a sport or when we learn an instrument or a craft, how we completely understand that we have to apply ourselves if we want to be able to do this in a creative and free manner.

[36:32]

or train our fingers or know how to use these tools or learn about the different materials. And when it's about the habits or inclinations and conditionings of our minds, we don't often quite understand that. And it's not the mental understanding that transforms our life. understand this thoroughly and completely and not, and walk out of here and not apply any of it. And if we don't apply it, if we don't examine it, if we don't look at our lives, if we don't walk out of here, for just an example, thinking, well, how about taking it on, stopping, taking sides, and paying attention each time you know, kind of looking, oh my god, I'm taking sides all the time.

[37:36]

I go to the kitchen, look at the food, and I have immediately, you know, it goes like that, you know, ooh, like that, no, I'm not going to have that, but again, you know, the same thing, you know, and it's immediate. It's just like that. And then, do I just go with that? Or do I go, I take what is offered? And you know, sometimes when we do that, it affects the other person. We make a face or we say something. And then soon we have a little lobby who thinks, yes, we always blah, blah, blah. Or we never, you know. So if we don't really apply it, examine it, investigate it, and apply it. Nothing is going to change. So Gandhi says that so beautiful. You have to be the change you want to see in the world.

[38:39]

You have to be it. Can't wait for somebody else to make it possible for you. Or do it for you. I can't even take one breath for any one of you. And nobody else can. Nobody can... You're the only one, even though you're completely interconnected and completely one with everything, you also are absolutely uniquely alone in your life. It's your life that has been given to you in the way it is and how... Whether you suffer in it or whether it's freeing to you depends on how you relate to it. And nobody can take that away from you or take it for you, make it, do it for you.

[39:42]

So, it's time to stop. Yes? And... The question and answer period will be back in here because the branching streams are in the dining room, all those people having their meeting. So there's a little break after this, and then who wants to come back and discuss this a little further, please do so. So that's why Hafez says, Not basically everything is sacred. There is sacredness in everything, but it depends on how you relate to it for you to discover it. So then he says, now, not tomorrow and not yesterday, but right now is the time to know that all you do is sacred.

[40:50]

Now. Why not consider a lasting truth with yourself and God? If he uses God, you could say undivided mind or Buddha nature. Now, now is the time to understand that all your ideas of right and wrong were just the child's training wheels to be laid aside when you finally live with veracity and love. And the love Hafez is talking about is the love that says, I will, I will take care of you to everything that's near, to everything that's right in front of each of us right now. I will take care of you. Hafez is a divine envoy whom the Beloved has written a holy message upon.

[41:55]

And we all carry that message in our heart. We all know in our bones, the marrow of our bones, that we are interconnected. We just don't know it in that compartment of habitual and thinking self-involved mind. What is it in that sweet voice inside that incites you to fear? Because when we pick and choose, there's always anxiety involved in that. It's not possible to pick and choose and take sides without anxiety being activated. Now is the time for the world to know that every thought and action is sacred. This is the time for you to deeply compute the impossibility that there is anything but grace.

[43:06]

So for the choosing mind, it seems impossible that there could be anything but grace. But then the Maha'ati said, the whole universe is completely clear, open, unobstructed, available. Everything is just unhidden. When we pick and choose, we can't see that. So that is the grace that everything, in every moment, all the ingredients, the possibility to wake up is there. Now is the season to know that everything is there. you do is sacred. Thank you very much for coming. Have a wonderful day.

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For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving. May we fully enjoy the Dorma.

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