This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. Good morning. Wow, it's so wonderful to see all of you here. So many familiar faces and so many new faces. How many people is it your... First time here. Raise your hand. Oh, wonderful. A particular welcome to all of you. So as Rosalie mentioned, there will be a Jukai ceremony this afternoon with 11 people, be a large group, Greg and I and Christina. And thank you very much, Christina, for inviting me to give the talk today. So jukai literally means staying home and attaining the way.

[01:07]

So this is a lay ordination. The priest ceremony is shuke tokudo, which is leaving home and attaining the way, is zaike tokudo, staying home, attaining the way. And these 11 people have asked a teacher for permission to sew a rakasu. These are the small bib-like things that you'll see people wearing that are actually a small okesa. Both are Buddha's robe. One is large and wraps around the body. One is smaller. And they've sewn the rakasus by hand over some period of months or years. And it's like making a quilt. There's many small pieces sewn together very intricately. And with each stitch, they chant silently to themselves, Namu Kiei Butsu, which means, I take refuge in Buddha.

[02:17]

Over and over again, hundreds of stitches. And each stitch, Namu Kiei Butsu, I take refuge in Buddha. could also be translated as plunging into Buddha, letting go completely into Buddha, giving over to Buddha. So this vow is woven into the very fabric of this robe. That is, their new clothes. And on the back... is written their new name, their dharma name, that is given by their teacher. And in the ceremony, they also receive the 16 bodhisattva precepts. And we take these on every full moon once a month, and also in jukai ceremonies, in priest ordination, in weddings.

[03:19]

They are the foundation of our practice. So thinking about this taking refuge in Buddha, we find that we are not separate from Buddha. When we let go, we are in the lap of Buddha. We are not separate. Dogen says, just throw yourself into the house of Buddha. Then all is done by Buddha. There's no more worry about self. Am I okay? You just let go into Buddha. What is Buddha? The ongoing questions, the ongoing koan, what is Buddha? So what's been coming up for me lately is just this enormous sense of gratitude.

[04:29]

for our practice, for all of you. Living at Tassajara and being director, I come and go a lot, coming up from Tassajara, at least once a month to come to meetings and to see people, to see students. So I have this series of meetings, formal meetings, meetings in the hallway, bowing to people, greeting them. and this warm, warm feeling of community, of sangha here. And staying in the building, as I am when I'm here, now for longer, I'm here for like six days this time, the Kaisando, the Founders Hall, where there's a space dedicated to Suzuki Roshi, our founder. I pass by that many times every day, and each time as we go past, we bow to Suzuki Roshi. And my bows this week have been particularly deep and heartfelt as I am just so grateful for this practice that he has brought from Japan and this practice that has come down to us over 2,500 years from the Buddha, from ancestor to ancestor, all the way here.

[05:47]

So when you take... the precepts formally, and so a robe, whether lay ordination or priest ordination, you become part of that lineage. You become part of that blood vein, that line from the Buddha all the way down to you, all of you. We can all touch into that. And being able to touch into that place gives us the possibility of being free from fear, free from anger, free from self-concern. On each moment, on any moment, it's possible to touch into that. There is an image of our feet are walking on the bottom of the ocean.

[06:53]

And on the bottom of the ocean, on the sea floor, it's very, very calm and still. The currents are all above. They're closer to the surface. And on the surface, there's a lot of chop. So even when there's agitation or anxiety or resistance or anger, when we touch into Buddha, our feet are on the floor of the ocean and we're not troubled by the spray hitting our faces. It's not that it disappears. It's just that we know that we're connected to something so much deeper that we can have trust. We can release. We can relax. And as I was passing by the kaisandos so many times, making my bows, I was reflecting, what is it that makes it possible to touch into this, to share this together?

[08:12]

And the heart of it is, of course, our practice, our practice of zazen. of letting go over and over again, coming back to this moment, coming back to presence, just being with what is exactly as it is, including, perhaps, or wanting it to be something very different, just allowing whatever is and being able to stand it, just being able to open to it, release into it, be okay. So this practice, we practice it on the cushion, being silent and still and allowing whatever arises to arise. In that space, we can know that we are safe. Certainly our bodies are safe during that time.

[09:21]

Our minds might get pretty scary sometimes. And if we can just stay with the fear, then we can touch into the safety that's underneath the fear, that is foundational. So the ceremony this afternoon begins... invoking the presence and compassion of our ancestors. In faith that we are Buddha, we enter Buddha's way. And I remember the first time I heard those words, and they really stood out for me, because I thought, okay, if this is about me having faith that I too am Buddha, I don't have that faith yet. But hearing those words and then hearing them over and over again, as I've attended so many jukais and priest ordinations over the years, just to say them in faith that we are Buddha.

[10:44]

Blanche used to tell a nice story about Suzuki Roshi saying, I think you're perfect just the way you are. She was pretty new and she said, well, I'm new. He just doesn't know me yet. So on the one hand, we know that we're not Buddha. We're not Shakyamuni. We're not awakened. But we are Buddha. We are not separate from Buddha. Buddha is we, is us, is all of us, is the world. And we have to actualize that. It doesn't just happen by itself. Even though we are, and it's there, we still have to do something about it. Dogen Zenji, the founder of our school, had a burning question in his practice from a very young age.

[11:45]

He said, if we all have Buddha nature, if we are all of the nature of Buddha, and he believed that completely, he said, then why do we have to practice? Why do we have to work so hard? And this was the question that drove his practice for many years. And when he awakened, his question was completely satisfied. And for the rest of his life, what he talked about was practice realization. No separation. Practice realization. Realization is practice. Practice is realization. It's not one leading to the other. It's not you sit to become a Buddha. Practice realization. Right together like our hands in gusho. So each one of us, if we look in our hearts, may have a question, like Dogen had a question.

[12:57]

I can't tell you what your question is. Only you know that question. But on some level, whether you can put it in words or not, that question has brought you here today. searching for not exactly some answer to that question, but some way of living that question, some way of actualizing the life that you already have. We often talk in our culture about wasting our time or wasting our life or not wasting time or life. And what does that mean? How can we waste time? It's happening. It keeps going on. But we know what that means. It's going on, but we're not fully there for it.

[14:04]

We haven't awakened to our own life, and we know the flavor of those moments when we do. We know what it's like to show up for our own being, our own life, And I think on some level, we all hunger for this. When you're playing a stringed instrument and you pluck one of the strings, depending on how the strings are tuned, another string may start to vibrate in harmony, in sympathy, in resonance. So when we hear the teachings or when we meet someone who evokes something in us, we are resonating with the Buddha in each one of us.

[15:07]

We already are Buddha nature. that is part of your birthright as a human being. And it becomes awakened through practice, through sangha, through friends, spiritual friends, who help us to find that and touch that in ourselves. We all know what it is to say, oh, so-and-so just brings out the best in me. I feel more completely myself with this person than with anyone else. So that's already there in us, and it can be awakened and nurtured. And we still need to pay attention to that and put effort to it in order to bring that up and to make it happen, for that to be completely within us, to be, to become one of those people

[16:11]

about whom people say, oh, they bring out the best in me. So sometimes when there is a ceremony like this, people feel maybe that they are more aware of their shortcomings or limitations, or do I deserve this? Am I good enough to do this? And I think this is really common because we have this aspiration and we worry that we're not able to manifest that. But in passing through that gate, receiving that transmission, we can actually be more aware of our shortcomings We don't have to be in denial about them.

[17:12]

And we can also hold them more lightly. We can just acknowledge them. We can be very present with them. And actually, the next part of the ceremony is avowal and repentance. So we acknowledge our past actions. We acknowledge our stuff. This is who I am? Okay. Okay. I accept it. Now that I've completely acknowledged who I am, what I've done, I can let go of it. I don't have to hold on to it anymore. I don't have to fight against it. I don't have to deny it. I don't have to be ashamed of it. Okay. Okay. There it is. Now it becomes workable. When we avow our past karma, our past actions, we can go beyond the karma of body, speech, and mind, and we can be freed from greed, hate, and delusion.

[18:34]

Dogen says, don't worry about your limitations. Just serve the community. That was written on a little sign above the sink at Berkley Zen Center when I practiced there, the kitchen sink. So I got to see it a lot every Saturday when I did the dishes. And I just loved that. It was so encouraging to me. Don't worry about your limitations. Just serve the community. I thought, I can do that. I'll serve first, then I'll let go of worrying about my limitations. So I do it in the other order. It's never going to happen. So in the ceremony, the next thing that happens is to take the... Actually, receiving the...

[19:38]

The rakasu is next in the name. But the next part is to take the 16 bodhisattva precepts. And the first are the three pure precepts, vowing to refrain from harmful conduct, to engage in skillful conduct, and to live for the benefit of all beings. pretty much covers it. You know, what else is there really? Don't cause harm, do good, live for the benefit of all beings. All beings. Includes this one. Includes you. All beings. And at the end of each one of these vows, it's like, will you do this?

[20:43]

Yes, I will. So over and over again, yes, I will. Yes, I will. Yes, I will. Impossible vows, right? The Mahayana is great on impossible vows. And we make them because they're impossible. So we just keep making them over and over, aspiring. for complete realization, Buddhahood, saving all beings. And then we breathe and come back and avow how it is right now and pick up and just keep going. Just breathing, just letting go, just keeping on going, moment after moment. It's a gift. It's an incredible gift. Then there are the first is taking refuge in Buddha, Dharma, Sangha.

[21:55]

I take refuge in Buddha, I take refuge in Dharma, I take refuge in Sangha. So the Dharma is the teachings, the understanding, the practices, the way of the Buddha and of the ancestors. And the Sangha is the community. So this is called the triple treasure. And we take refuge in all three of these. They're inseparable. And different people enter through different doors. Some enter through the Buddha door, some through the Dharma, the teaching door, and some through the Sangha door, the community door, the people door. And they all fold in on each other. There's not one separate from any of the others. And the more your practice opens and the deeper you go and practice, the more you open to all three, taking refuge over and over again.

[22:59]

Refuge has the meaning of safety or sanctuary or protection. And again, it's not protection from things that happen in the world. There's a story that someone came to the Buddha and said something like, I'm having trouble with my wife, can you help me? And the Buddha said, no, I'm sorry, I can't help you. And said, well, all right, then I'm having trouble with my business, can you help me? And he said, no, I'm sorry, can't help you. And he said, then what good is this? He said, well, there are 80 kinds of suffering. 79 of them I can't help you with. And the man said, okay, what's number 80? And he said, how to deal with the other 79. We can't stop things from happening in our worlds, to ourselves.

[24:13]

to others. Things happen. Life is uncertain, short, precious. What we can do is meet it fully. We can meet our own experience. We can meet our own fear. We can meet our own hope. We can meet other people. We can be completely intimate with our own life and with other people. And this intimacy is what engenders fearlessness, and this is one of the greatest gifts ever. I think we've all known the feeling something happens and we start to freak out, and then there's someone there who's just not perturbed by it. They're in exactly the same situation, but they're not losing it.

[25:20]

Like, huh. How does that work? The Buddha saw a monk, a spiritual seeker, walking through a charnel ground and very calm. He said, how can this happen? How can someone be peaceful in the midst of the suffering of the world? Not uncaring, not detached, not pushing it away, but not attached to the ideas or the fears. How is this possible? So this is often what sets us on the path. What is it to be truly alive? What is it to be free from the tyranny of our own minds. One of the wonderful things about sitting zazen is we get to be very familiar with our own minds.

[26:29]

We think the problem is the pain in our knees or our back, and then we start noticing that our mind is going a mile a minute saying, I can't stand it, I will die, I have to jump up and run out of here, there must be something wrong here. And if we can actually shift the focus and notice the sensation in the body suddenly, oh, well, that's very intense. But I can stand it. I can actually be present with that. And I can make some decision. Oh, I should get up and move because I think something's really going to happen here. Or, you know, I can actually sit with this. Just being able to sit with whatever arises, so powerful. Just being able to meet each person, to have the teachings available to us, to take refuge, to turn it over.

[27:34]

So then, taking refuge, the three pure precepts, and then the ten grave precepts. And these are how we live with each other. It's very striking to me that four of the ten are about right speech. And all of these came up out of practical considerations. How do we live with each other? What is the way that an awakened person, an awakened being, would live with other suffering beings? So, The ten grave precepts are not to kill, not to take what is not given, not to misuse sexuality, not to lie, not to become intoxicated, not to dwell on the mistakes of others, not to praise self at the expense of others, not to withhold material or spiritual aid,

[28:43]

not to harbor ill will, and not to disparage the three treasures of Buddha, Dharma, Sangha. Precepts like this are common to, I think, every spiritual tradition. There's nothing particularly unique about them in the Buddha Dharma. They're how we live together. Having guidelines is like, you know, on those rides at Disneyland where you drive the little cars around, and they have the little line in the middle, and then you bump against them, and you're like, oops, too far one way, too far another way. They help us know where we are. They help keep us in line. They give us feedback. And once we become more sensitive and more aware, we start to be aware of it very quickly.

[29:50]

It's like, ooh, that didn't feel so good. Like, that actually doesn't feel so good to me to say something that's not quite upright. It's not quite true. Or, you know... I can't say it's really stealing, but, you know, I have to acknowledge that wasn't given. That wasn't put there for me. I could stretch it, but, you know, there's something funny happening inside and I can feel it. And I don't want to do that. So we make these vows to live this way, to wake up to our own lives, to take on... the experience of opening ourselves to those feelings, which may be uncomfortable. Be like, okay, can I stand being uncomfortable with what life brings me, and can I let go of the discomfort that I caused myself?

[30:56]

That's a big one. this ceremony has been approaching I've talked to some of the students who will be taking the precepts this afternoon and some of them have been reflecting on what led them to take this step kind of reflecting back on their life their history of practice what's brought them to this place and This, you know, it often comes up initially as, you know, especially to sow a rakasu, to take the precepts, to have this visible manifestation that is then worn on the body, and this very visible ceremony that people invite friends and family to, to be witnessed.

[32:09]

And sometimes people say, well, I think I wanted to do it first because I wanted to be part of the group. Or, looks like the important people or the cool people are wearing one of those bibs. So I think I want one of those too, because I want to be part of the gang. I want him. I want the thing. And, you know, and some people are inspired, want see that as a way to connect with a teacher. For some people, you know, right away it's about the bodhisattva vows. You know, that's the heart of it. But it doesn't matter, really, why we think we take this step in our practice, why we begin practice, why we continue practice. That's what we think. That's an idea that we make up kind of after the fact. I think in some way we know that, but modern cognitive science is actually finding out that that's the case, that our bodies are often in motion to do something a split second, a millisecond, before the part of our brain that has some reasoning about what we're doing kicks into gear.

[33:34]

It's like, oh, I'm doing this because... So what is it that brings us to practice? We often talk about way-seeking mind. You know, the mind that seeks the way, that seeks the Buddha way. And we can't say what that is. We don't know what that is. If we knew what it was, it wouldn't be that. If it's what we can know with our conscious mind, we're missing something because it's not that. It's something beyond that. It starts with wanting something for ourself, whether it's freedom or comfort or being free of anxiety or fear or hate, whatever it is. It starts with ourself because that's where we start.

[34:34]

It has to start at home. And it grows as we grow. as we let go of our limited views, and we realize that it can't be just that I'm happy if you're not happy. Because when you're happy, I'm happy. When I smile at someone and they smile back, we're both happy. And we see how this works, that it just, it ripples outward. And we become less self-protective and more... extending protection to the world. And as we enter the Buddha way, regardless of what brings us here, we become aligned with the Buddha way. We become aligned in our bodies as they learn how to sit upright in ease and comfort and stability.

[35:37]

We become aligned in our minds as we suddenly realize maybe at the end of a period of sitting we read or remember some teaching that had been very confusing to us. It's like, what do they mean by that? And it suddenly comes alive for us. We become aligned in our hearts. We become aligned in our actions. We let go of what's extra. And it becomes more and more simple, more and more easy to do that, because holding on just doesn't feel good anymore. So we start tuning into this deep current that pulls us and tugs us and just give over to it, taking refuge renewing our vows, awakening with all beings.

[37:08]

May we fully enjoy the Domo.

[37:11]

@Transcribed_UNK
@Text_v005
@Score_97.2