This podcast is offered by San Francisco's Zen Center on the web at sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. Whatever time zone you're in, please feel welcomed. I have to say that thinking about giving this talk and what came to mind was enjoyable. I was very struck. I watched part of the inauguration of Joe Biden as president, and I was very struck by Amanda Gorman's performance, which I suspect many of us were.

[01:02]

And then when I also read that Joe Biden quoted Seamus Heaney, a poet from the land I was born in, and then the president of Ireland also quoted a poem in his congratulations, I thought, ah, the golden age has arrived. So San Francisco City Center is on the corner, corner of Page and Laguna. In the kitty corner, on a diagonal across the street, there is a building which the Zen Center owns. We have offices upstairs. And on the ground floor, we have a commercial space. that we were planning on turning into a cafe.

[02:06]

COVID virus came along and we postponed that idea someday. Someone came up with the wonderful idea of covering the windows and the doors with a whiteboard. I assume it's plywood painted white. so that people could paint on it. And I think one of the responses, I'm not quite sure what the genesis of this was, and I think maybe it was Arlene and Emily, the treasurer, and Arlene, one of Zen Center's senior priests who has a wonderful knack of making things happen. She's a wonderfully gregarious and friendly person. It's somehow that constantly turns into wonderful blossom things of being.

[03:17]

So Arlene knows a local artist, Nicole Hayden, Hayden. And she asked her, prompted by Emily, the treasurer, to paint a portrait of Amanda Gorman, who presented her poem at the inauguration. And Nicole painted a portrait of Amanda in her startling yellow coat, Emerging out of a cloud, and also seemingly emerging out of that cloud, was a swarm of monarch butterflies. All the connections, all the causes and conditions that go into making

[04:33]

one precious moment of existence, one expression of being. And how that's happening all the time. Nicole, Arlene, Emily, and of course, the star of the show, Amanda Gorman. by her own definition, is a skinny black girl descended from slavery and raised by a single mother. And yet, define yourself like that while standing on the platform of inauguration, standing

[05:36]

probably witnessed by tens of millions of people standing in her full length yellow winter coat. Who would have thought that a winter coat could be yellow? But hers was. And delivering with verve with flair, with a kind of reckless rhyme and alliteration. An extraordinary, powerful, insightful poem. All that at the age of 22. And with a single phrase, you know, skinny black girl descended from slaves raised by a single mother, declaring her history, declaring what are the definitive

[07:07]

expression of her being in that moment, and then utterly belying it, yeah, towering, yeah, as she stood there, pointing with her hands, as if the words she was saying and the images she was creating had an energy, an authority, This is what is, this is what has happened, this is what can happen if we but dare, if we climb the hill. At this moment of inauguration, at this moment of turning, reminded me at thinking, reflecting on all that contributed to that moment.

[08:21]

Even if we just think of all the dramas around the presidential election. And then if we think about the hidden forces within Amanda's life. How did she come to be such a person that could stand with confidence, speak with candor and with hope in an unabashed, direct way. Hinting at her own background of having a speech impediment. And yet speaking flawlessly and eloquently.

[09:29]

It's like witnessing a moment by the very tip of the iceberg, knowing that in a great ocean underneath, there are a multitude of contributing factors. If you haven't had a chance to watch the video, I recommend it. I saw on the internet, someone, some wit saying, why was Joe Biden inaugurated at a Lady Gaga concert? I thought,

[10:40]

Why was Lady Gaga performing at Amanda Gorman's poetry recital? And what life is not like this? What life is not the consequence? of a multitude of causes and conditions. Made me think of a famous saying by Martin Luther King about interconnectedness. Caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny, Whatever affects one affects all indirectly.

[11:45]

That each one of us, as an individual, represents that web of mutuality. If we reflect on the influences in our life, you know, we even reflect on how some of the influences in our life we treasure, we hold in our own scrapbook of history. And some of them I would say we don't know. We have here at Zen Center a process of what we call lay ordination. And often when someone's going through that process with me, I'll ask them to think about the people in their early life who were of significant influence, who they felt exemplified certain positive characteristics and who guided and supported them.

[13:11]

In many indigenous traditions, the notion of ancestors, the notion of heritage is fostered. And somewhat in our, here in United States, and maybe in many parts of what we so-called Western world and beyond, there is a transience now. And it's easy to lose this heritage. So in suggesting, reflect on that and find that in your life. Because even though you may be here wishing to be lay ordained into the Zen tradition, of mutuality, of being, supported you and guided you to be here.

[14:20]

And it has for us an encouragement. It's so easily, I think we're kind of wired this way, that that which disappointed us, that which hurt us, that which caused us difficulties, looms large for us. I think as a society, we're increasingly considering the notion of trauma, you know? Where something is torn apart, where the integrity of being has been disrupted. And our integrity in the many meanings of the word for us is now challenged.

[15:27]

And that in such a state of being, encouragement, appreciation, gratitude, I sometimes think, you know, here at the Zen Center, we have made a particular effort to carry forth the Japanese traditions that we inherited. We chant the names of the Buddhas and ancestors. I sometimes think each of us has Buddhas and ancestors. Certainly it's wonderful to chant this heritage together. But I think it's also wonderful for each of us to acknowledge, appreciate, have gratitude for the ancestors of our own lineage, our own personal lineage.

[16:36]

Just the same way Amanda came to be standing on the 6th of January, on the stage of the inauguration of the president, Joe Biden. Each of us is where we are right now. The amazing consequence of so many things. To acknowledge and appreciate. And then also hold, you know, our own version of skinny black girl descended from slaves. Each of us has a heritage of limitation, of suffering.

[17:43]

Sometimes people say to me, when I ask them to review the positive influences in their life, they say, well, what about the negative influences? What about the examples that I rebelled against or I said with a certain kind of authority? That's what I'm not going to do. That is not how I'm going to lead my life. I think so many of us are refugees from seeing the world a certain way, ourselves a certain way, our familial, ancestral being in a certain way, that we became a refugee from that. We said, this life is that I call mine will be other than that.

[18:48]

Yes. And yet I would add to that that it's still beneficial to find what we can hold in positive regard. How else not simply turn back with dismay on the difficulties and sufferings. How can we turn forward with hope, with a positive consideration that allows for possibilities? Within the workings of what we, the ritual we call entering the way as a light person, this is the initiation.

[20:17]

The initiation is the acknowledgement of where we come from. And along with what we might call this web of mutuality, there is, of course, the individual component. Each of us is uniquely, completely, singularly the person we are. That is... Just the state of being. And out of that web of mutuality comes a particular person in a particular moment. And that's the person who makes the vow.

[21:23]

That's the person who declares the intention. That's the person who... in the inner workings of their being, does the steady activity of not grasping at desires and aversions, but opening to a more inclusive expression of being. And this alchemy is at the heart, literally, of Zen practice. How does any one of us do that? How do we continually do that?

[22:27]

How do we continually turn? I was reflecting on the past year, or the year. Yeah. Somehow to me, it seems, and maybe it's just the newness of its ending. It seems like it was a powerful, momentous year. Here in the United States, from the perspective I have on it, it seemed like, um, Some old, I was going to use the word demons, but I think I'll search for a more political word, old prejudices arose. I hadn't before 2020, I didn't know of such organizations as Proud Boys.

[23:39]

I still don't know exactly what that refers to. And I'm not in a hurry to find out. Before 2020, I didn't know what QAnon was. And I think in some ways, I still don't. And again, I'm not in a hurry to find out. all the moving parts of it. I do think, as part of our society, these things have something to teach us. And maybe, certainly, in my mind, I think of them as teachings on the side of... When this arises within you, when you find in the ruminations of your own mind a convincing construct of us and them, a convincing construct of the way I see it is the right way to see it.

[25:10]

and to see it otherwise is fake, is evil, you know? To see in myself any arisings of that, you know? That the genesis is as simple as just grasping on to a particular judgment, construct, concept of reality or someone else. So we have that in 2020. And then I think we also have a collective awakening. The benefits of a growing radical honesty. Certainly for me, the year held rereading with more acceptance of the consequences and acknowledgement of the deep, deep injustices that have happened in the history of United States.

[26:38]

You know, for myself, I didn't grow up here. It's somehow I've always allowed myself the license of, well, not my fault. What a dangerous way to think. in this web of mutuality, certainly in my homeland, where our chosen discrimination, maybe it wasn't so chosen as it was just a mutual arising and blundering into, was religious differences or religious identity. we bombed and we killed and we rioted.

[27:43]

In the past year, to discover what is it to slow down, to learn, to acknowledge, to take to heart. What is it to discover in a deeper, fuller, richer way the Bodhisattva vow? Okay, there's that way of living. And as we look at this planet, and our societies, we have a multitude of wars, of times of aggression, of oppression, of injustice, of prejudice.

[28:56]

But can something of the goodness of our ancestors, can something of the goodness that allows Amanda Gorman to stand on the stage of the inauguration and at 22 speak with the insight and confidence of a great sage. Can something of that speak and act through us? Can we literally do engage in that inner alchemy. Alchemy was essentially how to create gold, quite literally. What's the metallic formula? How do we create the gold of the Bodhisattva vow within our own attitude, within our own disposition?

[30:10]

within our own courage, within our own gratitude, within our own patience, within our own forgiveness. What is that alchemy? I would suggest to you, in some ways, no one can answer that question for us. But it's the challenge for each of us. And in some ways, it's not so much that we answer it as it is that we live it. You know, I have a story about myself.

[31:12]

I grew up in a Catholic household, and prompted by a variety of influences, maybe primary of which was my mother. I would go to church every day, early in the day. I would actually get up early, go to church, and then come home before the rest of my family had got up. I have memories of being, you know, a six-year-old boy in a large church, a row of widows in their black shawls sitting up at the altar rail saying the rosary. And then apart from that, maybe half a dozen, ten of us scattered throughout this big church.

[32:21]

So I have this image. And then one day, I can't remember why, I was talking with my sister. And I said, do you remember when I was a kid and I would go to church every day And she said, no. You know, to me, that story, it's so real, it's so true. And yet for my sister, she said it with such conviction, without any hesitancy. I don't remember that. Probably if I'd have continued the conversation, she would have told me, but I remember this about you.

[33:26]

Maybe not so salutary or so edifying. And I was thinking, but this is, isn't this part of the intrigue? of our human existence, you know? That in a way, in this web of mutuality, we're a participant in the co-creation of our own history, you know? I sometimes think of our history, you know, of each one of us. It's like a scrapbook. You turn the pages back and you look at the photos of when you were seven or three or nine. But who put those photos in the scrapbook of your memory?

[34:29]

You did. Maybe in conjunction with, you know, your family members telling you, you know. But either way, This wonderful paradox that we're confronted with. We're an individual. We're a singularity. We're unique. And we are inextricably part of the web of mutuality. In our singularity, we influence it. We shape it. We remember it in the way we remember it. We respond to it now. in the way that we do. And that's what we offer to the world. When we stand on the platform of now, when we stand of the platform of all being, it's from that we speak.

[35:45]

Integrity doesn't come from, oh, the story I have about myself and the others who treated me with generosity and kindness, who treated me with harshness and cruelty. All those stories, it's not a matter of absolute integrity. absolutely right it's not it's it's a matter of how they're related to now that's what allows us to take our place that in the now we see the arising we see um The potency of how a certain way of being can cause contraction.

[36:56]

Contraction in the rigidity of our thinking. Contraction in the tightening scarcity of our lack of generosity. The mind that says You did that to me and I dislike you for it. That is where we live. And our vow is to keep opening it, to keep renewing it. Keep discovering the alchemy. And how do we do that? I think that's a wonderful, powerful question.

[38:04]

And I'd like to offer you this poll by David White. If you move carefully, breathing like the ones in the old stories who could cross a shimmering bed of leaves without a sound, you come to a place whose only task is to trouble you with tiny but frightening requests, conceived out of now and in this place, beginning to bleed everywhere. To trouble you with tiny but frightening requests.

[39:09]

That moment in Zazen, where you notice mind has been engrossed in thinking about something. Something that echoes from the complexity of your conditioning. And in that moment of noticing the request of awareness, just be good. Don't grasp it as if your life depended on it. And don't suppress it as if your life depended on separating from it. That tiny, life altering, world changing request. can we discover that patience and forgiveness are not some abstract, laudable virtue.

[40:30]

They are the practical workings of living a life. A couple of weeks ago, we had a talk by Larry Ward. I find it wonderfully instructful and enjoyable to listen to. So I recommend it. One of the things Larry said was, he said, a Bodhisattva is a grown-up. I wrote it down. I'll just see if I can quote him a little more directly. Bodhisattva is an ordinary person who has grown up, who is capable of being mindful, embodying and expressing the love of mind and heart.

[41:40]

Maybe all this is a long-winded way of saying Tiny requests of presence, of awareness, of attention to what is. Each of them links to all the web of being that we are. Each of them is an agent of change. Each of them represents the possibility of what's next and the consequence of our history. And I would suggest you to sit down to do Zaspen. As you lead your life,

[42:54]

in those moments of mindfulness, to hold them as a treasure, those moments of awareness, those moments of mindfulness. And to find within ourselves our own poem, our own declaration of inauguration. Surely, if a skinny black girl descended from slaves and raised by a single mother can stand on a platform and address, I don't know, maybe it was 100 million people, not just in the United States, but across the globe, if she can do that, we could stand it.

[44:00]

and ask ourselves to stand in our own shoes, to be the person we are, to revere and learn from the stories we tell ourselves, even though maybe our sister would tell us, I don't remember that. So be it. Amanda Madan dissent. to forge a union with purpose, to compose a country committed to all cultures, colors, characters, and conditions of man, and women, and children, and animals, and birds, and insects, and sky and river. So that We lift our gazes, not to what stands between us, but what stands before us.

[45:10]

You know, in our forms of practice, we construct our rituals, our ceremonies. and maybe probably rightly so, they are the offering of great wisdom and compassion of our forefathers and foremothers. But the heritage is that we reenact it, we rediscover it, we make it alive and real. Right here, right now. Like the word originality. It has origin. And yet originality is about creativity. It's about be original.

[46:22]

Create something new. Take the gift of the past and rediscover it. in the now, in the present. And let that direct how you enter the future. We do ourselves a disservice if we make our practice some rigid adherence to some codified way of being. It's an act of originality. its own poem. Where did she get that, where did Amanda get that poem from? She made it up. Of course, she probably read thousands of poems. Four that inspired her, shaped her thinking. But this is her poem.

[47:25]

Each of us creates our own originality. into questions, sometimes tiny, sometimes enormous. What is it to grow up? is it to take inventory to acknowledge the heritage of what you are to notice the dominant influences because we're enacting them and the more they go unnoticed or unknown the more their influence tends to be

[48:41]

invisible but it's still there somehow leaving us the impression that life has few possibilities that life happens in narrow paths what is it it really this is the juiciest and most persistent question of the zen way What is it to be completely who we were and to be able to drop it? Thank you for listening. And I hope some of this helps you as you enter the inauguration of the next part of your life. For more information, please visit sfcc.org and click Giving.

[50:00]

May we all fully enjoy the Dharma.

[50:02]

@Transcribed_UNK
@Text_v005
@Score_96.42