I vow to taste the truth of the Tathagata's words. Good morning. So, wholehearted practice, the wholehearted way, what is it? I want to talk, and this is related to wholehearted way, a little bit this morning about some of the details of forms. Dogen Sanji says sometime, careful attention to detail is the wind of our house.

[01:06]

Mimetsu no Kafu, or careful attention to detail, is the style of our school. So, the particularity of the forms that we agree to is a part or is a way of expressing wholehearted practice. One of my, one of our sons went to Japan when he was 19 to study martial arts, and stayed there for ten years. He married his wife there, and they had twin boys there.

[02:11]

And in the course of the time he was there, I happen to come from a Jewish background. And my background was not at all religious or observant for probably five generations. My family were from Germany where the whole reform movement began. And, anyhow, so this is just a little background. But while Earl was there, he had these children, and he was only 22 years old, and he wanted some moral certainty to raise his sons with. And he also was taking them to the Jewish community center in Tokyo, there is such a thing, to give his wife a break every Saturday. He took them down there to swim and so forth. And he met a rabbi whom he much appreciated, and he became an Orthodox Jew.

[03:16]

He was bar mitzvahed on his 30th birthday in Japan. And he came back here after some years, and was living in Palo Alto, and his wife was expecting another child and needed some help with the twins, so Lou went down. You know, Lou is a very wonderful grandfather. He has much more engagement with our grandchildren than I do. But he went down to take care of the boys and to help Noriko, who was on bed rest, into this observant Jewish household where my son was very careful about maintaining kosher. Maintaining kosher is pretty complicated. You have different dishes for meat or flesh, and for food that contains meat or flesh, and food that contains dairy products. And so there is a whole set of dishes, and a dish pan, and a dish drain,

[04:24]

and a sponge, and a dish towel that are used for these dishes, and another set of all of this paraphernalia that's used for these dishes. And so Lou went into this house already kind of resenting that Earl had decided to go down this path, which he felt kind of left him out of Earl's life and the life of his grandchildren. And so he was washing dishes one day, and Earl came in and said, Oh, I'm sorry, Dad, that's the wrong sponge. Here, I'll put that in the bathroom. Here's a new one. And Lou just threw a fit. I can't do this. And Earl said, Dad, it's just Jewish mindfulness practice. And Lou said, He got me there. It's devotion to paying attention to details,

[05:28]

being present in the details of your everyday life, remembering your vow. And the forms that we use in Soto Zen are like that. There are many, many details which help to bring our attention back to where we are in this moment when we've wandered off to some other time in some other place. So the details are to help you practice wholeheartedly. Now you may think of wholehearted practice as something that's very strenuous and requires intense effort and, you know, sitting late at night and knocking yourself out. But it's not altogether that way. It means total devotion to being where you are in each moment.

[06:36]

Whether you're sitting quietly on your cushion and giving total devotion to maintaining this posture of zazen and letting go of thoughts that arise, whether you're giving your total devotion to moving silently in the zendo, even when you're running with the meal board towel, it's kind of fun, you know, with the meal board towel you get to run in the zendo. The only other time you get to run in the zendo is when you're damp-mopping the floor, if you're Jikido. But even then, we move as quickly as we can, but always silently. So this requires a great deal of attention to move quickly and silently. This is the wonderful practice of serving. There's a great deal to pay attention to. So all of these forms are just aids to wholehearted practice or manifestations of wholehearted practice.

[07:55]

When we chant in the morning, when the Kokyo announces the chant, to come in with energy and all join our voices together in the chant. Just come in and you'll find, even if you're not certain what pitch, come in with energy and always, within a few syllables, we find each other and we find a harmonious pitch to chant with. We don't have to stumble around, just come right in and find your place with everyone chanting. For me, actually, there is a new koan which has arisen as a result of me focusing now for some time on wholehearted practice

[09:04]

and wanting deeply to be responsive to whatever's in front of me, to respond to requests that arise. But the other morning, as I got out of bed, as the wake-up bell rang and I sat up to get up, I was really very tired and I'm sitting there and I said out loud, you're pushing too bleeping hard. You know, I don't usually talk to myself out loud and I don't usually use language that I have to bleep. Where did that come from? And I looked at that and I said, now, isn't that interesting? What is wholehearted practice? What's the difference between wholehearted practice

[10:14]

and pushing too bleeping hard? This is my new koan. I've been working with it. This was only Friday morning, so I haven't had a lot of time to work with it yet, but what I'm coming up with is something like when I separate myself from myself and think about what I ought to do, what I should do, what people expect me to do, what I want to do, and try to meet some standard of practice that I think of as wholehearted practice, then I find myself pushing too hard and ignoring the actual state of body and mind. Instead of being one, being really unified in body and mind

[11:17]

with whatever activity I'm undertaking, there is some separation there. Some idea of self, what a person like me should do, or something. Some subject and object has crept in there, and the wholeheartedness has been separated somehow. Another way I think I can tell is when I am really wholeheartedly doing what I'm doing, there's a lot of joy in it, and I don't get so tired. Or even if I'm doing it until I tire myself out, still, I'm doing it with joy and some feeling of wholeness. I'm not pushing in the way that I noticed the other morning.

[12:21]

So this is kind of an interesting edge for me to understand. This is just a little bit different way of talking about a koan that I've been working with for many, many years that I've spoken of before. This koan of, if there's nothing to gain, if we practice with no gaining idea, no goal-seeking, just this is enough, then what is wholehearted effort? What does it mean for Suzuki Roshi to say no gaining idea and Zen is about making your best effort on each moment forever? I've spoken of this before. What is making your best effort on each moment with no gaining idea? What is wholehearted practice that's not pushing too damn hard,

[13:32]

that's not pushing at all, but just being holy with what you're doing, doing what you're doing with all of your energy and attention? So this is something that if it interests you, you might investigate in this Sashin. You know, when we sit, we attend to breath and posture, and we let go of thoughts that arise. This letting go of thoughts that arise is not something we do once.

[14:33]

It's something that we do over and over again. This attending to breath is not something we do once. It's something we do over and over again. This attending to posture is not something we do once. It's something we do over and over again. The reason letting go of thought is not something we do once, it's because thoughts keep bubbling up. They keep bubbling up and we keep letting them go. When we cling to our thoughts, when we grab onto our thoughts, suddenly we get caught in separating ourself, either separating, our thoughts will either separate this moment from eternity, this moment from past and future, will set up some separation between now and

[15:37]

other times, or will set up some separation between here and other places, or set up some separation between me and other beings. It sets up some separation, it divides our mind. So this is why we let go of thought, because in Zazen, Zazen mind is about being one with the universe. And this is, this is the vow we make. Zazen is this vow of being one with the universe, that's this posture, this mind, this effort is just enacting a vow to be one with the universe.

[16:39]

For our activity to be completely unseparated from all that is. And this is the direction and aim of the practice of Zazen. And this is why, you know, we can't do it right and we can't do it wrong. It's not something we're trying to accomplish, it's just the direction of our life. And if we think that we're doing it pretty well, gee, here I am, I'm actually being one with Buddha, I'm actually being one with the universe just like Buddha, that's just arrogance and hubris. So we have this vow and we sit with our whole body and mind making the effort to be one

[17:47]

with the universe. And at the same time we feel some deep sorrow that we can't do it. So naturally there's repentance. Repentance. We have this vow and we can't accomplish it, so then we feel repentant. But Zazen itself is repentance. In the Sutra of Samantabhadra it says, if you wish to repent, sit Zazen and contemplate the true nature of all things. Uchiyama Roshi says, in other words, it is in doing Zazen that true repentance is actualized.

[18:51]

So this Zazen of ours is both vow and repentance. So this life of vow, this is what the word devotion means, this life of vow. Literally the meaning of the word devotion is of vow. And Dogen Zenji says in Fukanza Zangi, the character of this school is simply devotion to sitting. Zazen, total engagement in immovable sitting. So even, so this may be a little confusing because last night I said I want you to take

[20:02]

care of yourself in this Sashin and if you must move, move. But if you must move your body, move your body, but don't move your mind. Total engagement in an immovable sitting. So we make every effort to be still, quiet, settled, here, undivided. And we continue that effort unceasingly. But we don't entertain thoughts of now I'm doing it right or now I'm doing it wrong. I'm just making my best effort on each moment to be completely whole, one with the universe,

[21:10]

right here, right now. During this Sashin, for the first couple of days, I would like us all to be able to sit without the interruption of practice discussion or dokusan. The jishas will still stand at the top of the stairs and if someone feels some real urgency they will arrange for you to speak with the teacher. But I would like it, unless something special occurs or comes up for you, if we can just all give ourselves an opportunity to settle in with a minimum of distraction for these

[22:18]

first two days. And when you do have dokusan or practice discussion, please be very focused. You know, sometimes, in ordinary times outside of Sashin, we may allow ourselves room to wander into discursive conversation in dokusan and practice discussion. But during Sashin, please stay directly with what's happening now, right here. What's happening now with you in this moment, not wandering off into telling a story about

[23:18]

some time outside, some time or someone outside of this moment. Try to see what it's like to keep your attention, even when you're speaking with your teacher, on just this. This is wholehearted practice. There is time before and after Sashin to explore and investigate problems about what you're going to do with the rest of your life or what happened last week or whatever. And those are perfectly good things to speak with your teacher about, but in Sashin, try to keep your attention very close to right here. And when you find yourself wandering into a story, please come back and just see what's

[24:20]

happening. What physical sensation can you notice when you're paying careful attention? What emotion can you notice right here when you're paying careful attention? How do you experience that emotion right here when you're paying careful attention? This is wholehearted practice. Can I disentangle from the story of my life and wake up to what's right here? Now. How refreshing. There's a lovely quotation here from Ichiyo Moroshi again.

[25:32]

I'll find it. He says, although Zazen is prior to the separation of all things, this is not to say that in Zazen we lose consciousness. Since life is being vigorously manifested, all things are reflected, and it is not losing sight of self here and now. But what does it mean to say that in Zazen, although everything is before division or discrimination, there is no loss of self here and now? It means that self here and now is eternity, the whole earth, all sentient beings. This is a remarkable thing. I'm not saying it's logically so, rather that since the reality of Zazen is such, we

[26:47]

are concretely enabled to directly experience through Zazen the self in which this moment is one with eternity. Living every day by surrendering to Zazen, being protected and guided by Zazen, means to live having a direction, that is, living without being pulled around by the thoughts and emotions rampaging inside us. At the same time, this means to live aiming at enacting the unity of the present moment and the eternal. He says, our life as a person lies precisely where we live in peace while progressing and progress while living in peace.

[27:48]

Dogen Zenji refers to this as the identity of practice and enlightenment. This is without a doubt the structure of the actualization of life. This living a life of vow, living a life of devotion, is a source of great joy, a source of great gratitude.

[28:58]

It's worth making our best effort to find where we can settle down in this life and just completely express it on each moment. Finding and experiencing our connection with all that is. When I, or early in my practice, before I went to Tassar, maybe 1970, when Jiyu Kenet Roshi first came to this country, she had a little, she rented a little apartment over on Potrero Hill.

[30:03]

She came here and gave some talks and she read some of her translations of some of the sutras that are chanted daily in Soto Zen monasteries, and it was the first time I had heard any translations. We had only chanted in Japanese here. And I was very excited. And I went over and sat with her sometimes on Potrero Hill. And this was just after the 60s, I was very much in love with love at this time. And one of the sutras we chanted was called The Love of Fugen. And I didn't know who Fugen was or anything, but I decided that this was for me, you know, because it was about love and this was what was the most important thing. Fugen is the Japanese name for Samantabhadra Bodhisattva.

[31:13]

So anyhow, somehow just I developed a real affinity for Samantabhadra Bodhisattva. And a couple of years later, not knowing much about this Bodhisattva archetype at all, a couple of years later when I was at Tassajara for my first practice period, Reb was Shuso. And at the Shuso ceremony, each person in the practice period is supposed to try to present kind of their whole life in a question to the Shuso. And when it came time for me to ask my question, I asked Reb, who is Fugen?

[32:14]

And he said, you are, but not if you think you are. And still I had, you know, I continued to have this feeling for Fugen and not know too much about Samantabhadra, a little bit, but Samantabhadra is kind of elusive. The Avatamsaka Sutra hadn't been, Tom Cleary hadn't yet translated it. And I didn't, I didn't go around asking a lot of questions, I might have found out more if I'd gone around asking a lot. I was looking for pictures, there's not a lot of iconography about Samantabhadra either. It's hard to find an altar figure of Samantabhadra, for example, riding on the elephant. But a number of years later I was Shuso and Reb asked me a question, he said, you still

[33:23]

like Samantabhadra as much as you used to? And I said, oh yes. He said, well what can Samantabhadra do that Manjushri can't do? And I said, take wisdom into the world to meet people. I don't know where that came from, that's just what came out, you know. When you're sitting on that seat you never know where responses come from. But actually recently in Taigen Leighton's book on Bodhisattva archetypes, that's not a bad one-line description of the meaning of Samantabhadra, the Samantabhadra archetype. This love of Samantabhadra is to take the wisdom and compassion of the Buddha into everyday life, into daily activity, to take the wisdom of non-discrimination, the wisdom of no separation

[34:27]

into the world to meet people. It's not a bad description. I don't know where it came from but it's not bad. And this has been kind of a passion for me, to understand Samantabhadra. And Samantabhadra, when you begin to investigate the literature, is the Bodhisattva of great vow. The third volume of the Avatamsaka Sutra is about Samantabhadra's great vow. So it's interesting to me that without knowing anything about it, somehow this affinity happened with the Bodhisattva of love and devotion, which is sort of fits me.

[35:37]

I think Reb, in asking this question, what can Samantabhadra do that Manjushri can't do, is expressing him. Manjushri, I mean he's sort of, the Manjushri archetype really fits Reb. The penetrating wisdom. So it's kind of interesting how we latch on to the Bodhisattva archetype that fits who we are. And this life of vow, this life of devotion, is something that I think I mentioned some couple of years ago when I found out that my second grade school teacher from Catholic school was still alive and I went to visit her. She was the first person I think I met who was living a life of devotion and I was very

[36:41]

moved by it somehow and I remembered her all these years and I got on a plane and went back to see her. She was 89 years old and she remembered me. She remembered my sister, she remembered my father. That's about 66 years ago. But this life of devotion, this life of vow, is what Satsang is. To vow to be one with all being, to vow to be completely this one as it is, which includes

[37:49]

everything. And we express this vow throughout our life, but particularly during this week, by devotion to immovable sitting and attention to each detail of our activity throughout the week. What is your vow?

[38:40]

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