Spring Sesshin

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SF-02724
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Monday

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today's the to the taliban worms
good morning

oh whole hearted practice
the whole hearted way what is it

i want to talk
and this is related to whole hearted way
a little bit this morning about some of the details of formed

don't and you says time
careful attention to detail
is the wind of our house
we met the no castle
or careful attention to detail is the style of our school
the
the particularity of the forms that we
ah
that we agreed to
is apart or is a way of expressing whole hearted practice
one of my one of our sons i wanted japan
when he was nineteen
the study martial arts
and
ah
a state therefore for ten years he married his wife there and they had
twin boys they're
amy
and in the course of the time he was there i happen to come from a jewish background lou does not
ah and my background was not at all religious or observant of for probably five generations my family were from germany where the whole reform movement began and and yeah so that there's a little background
but while earl was there he on
had these children and use only twenty two years old and he wanted some moral certainty to raise his sons with that he also was taking them to the jewish community center in tokyo there is such a thing
ah to give his wife a break every saturday he took 'em down there to swim and so forth
and he met a ride by whom he much appreciated and he became
an orthodox jew
he was bar mitzvah on his thirtieth birthday in japan
and he came back here after some years and was living in palo alto and his wife was expecting
another child and needed some help with the twins so lua down you know could lose a very wonderful grandfather he has much more engagement with our grandchildren then than i do but he went down to take care of the boys and to help noriko who was on bed rest
into this observant jewish household
where my son was very careful about maintaining kosher
maintaining kosher is is is pretty complicated you have different dishes for for meat or flesh and for the food that contains meter flesh and food that contains dairy products
and so there's a whole set of dishes and a dish pan and a dish drain and a sponge dish towel that are used for these dishes and another set of all of this pair of nail to choose for these shows and so lou went into this house already kind of resenting the url had decided to go
go down this path which he felt kind of left him out of world's life and the life of his grandchildren
and so he was washing dishes one day and url came in as the oh i'm sorry dad that's the wrong sponge here out the that in the bathroom here's a new one and lou just throw said that we've had an amazing i'm i can't do this or
i know why is and else and dad it's just jewish mindfulness practice
and wu said he got me there
it's devotion to paying attention to
details being present in the details of your everyday life remembering your vow
and the forms that we use and soto zen are like that
there are many many detailed
which helped to bring our attention back to where we are in this moment when we've wandered off to some other time and some other place
so the details or to help you practice wholeheartedly
and you may think of wholehearted practice is something that's very strenuous and requires ah
intense effort in you know sitting late at night and ah
knock yourself out
but it's not it's not altogether that way
it means
total devotion to
being where you are
in each moment
whether you're sitting
quietly on your cushion and giving total devotion to maintaining this posture of thousand and letting go of thoughts that arise
with you giving your total devotion to moving silently in the sandow even when you're running with the mail board towel it's kind of fun you know as the meal board tell you get to run in the zendo
the only other time to get a run in the sandoz when you your damp mopping the floor if your g though
but even then we move as quickly as we can but always silently
so the requires a great deal of attention to move quickly and silently
this is the wonderful practice of serving
there's a great deal to pay attention to
so all of these forms are just ah
aides to whole hearted practice or manifestations of wholehearted practice
when we chat in the morning
when the co-ceo announces the chance to come in with energy
join our voices together in the chant just come in a new find mean even if you're not certain what pitch come in with energy and and will will always always within a few within a few syllables we find each other and we find a harmonious p
pitch to chant with
ah we don't have to ah stumble around just come right in and find your place with every one chanting
ha
for me actually ah there is a new com which has arisen as a result of me focusing now for some time on hearted practice
and
and wanting deeply to be responsive to whatever's in front of me to respond to requests that arise
ah
but the other morning
as i got out of bed as the wicker bell rang and i sat up to get up
i was really very tired
and i'm sitting there
and i said out loud
you're pushing to bleeping hard now but you know i don't usually talk myself out loud and i don't usually use language that i have two bleep
where did that come from
now what and i looked at that and i said now isn't that interesting
what his whole hearted practice what's the difference between whole hearted practice and pushing to bleeping hard
it's because a this is my new column as than working with it this was only friday morning so i have not a lot of time to work with yet but
what i'm coming up with as something like when i when i separate myself from myself and think about what i ought to do what i should do what people expect me to do what i want to do on
and try to meet some standard of practice that i think of as whole art and practice
ah then i find myself pushing too hard and ignoring the actual state of body and mind
instead of being one being really unified in body and mind with whatever activity i'm undertaking
there is some separation there
some idea of self what a person like me should do or something some some subject and object has crept in there and the wholeheartedness has been separated some help
another way i think i can tell is when i am really wholeheartedly doing what i'm doing there's a lot of joy in it
and i don't get so tired
or even if i'm doing it until i tire myself out still i'm doing with joy and and some feeling of wholeness i'm not pushing ah in the way that that i i noticed the other morning
so this is kind of an interesting an interesting edge for me
to understand this isn't just a little bit different
way of talking about a call on that i've been working with for many many years that i've spoken of before when a this scorn of
if there's nothing to gain
if we practice with no gaining idea no goal seeking
just this is enough
then what what his whole hearted effort
what does it mean for suzuki roshi to say no gaining idea and
zen is about making your best effort on each moment forever
i've i've spoken of this before what is
making your best effort on each moment with no gaining idea
what his whole hearted practice
that's not pushing too damn high
that's not pushing at all
but just being only with what you're doing
doing what you're doing with all of your energy and attention
so this is something that if it interests you you might
investigate
in this session
one we said
we attend to breath
and posture
and we let go of thoughts that arise
this letting go of thoughts that arise
ah is not something we do once
it's something that we do over and over again
this attending a breath is not something we do want something we do over and over again this attending to posture is not something we do want something we do over and over again
the reason letting go of thought is not something we do once it's because thoughts keep bubbling up
and they keep bubbling up and we keep letting them go when we when we cling to our thoughts were grab onto our thoughts
suddenly we get caught in separating herself either the separating our thoughts will either separate this moment from eternity
this moment from past and future
we'll set up some some separation between now and other times
or will set up some separation between here and other places or set up some separation between me and other beings it sets up some separation is it it divides her mind
so this is why we let go far
because it in zazen thousand mind is about being one with the universe
and this is
no this is the vow we make
zazen is is this vow of being one with the universe that's this posture this mind this effort is just enacting avowed to be one with the universe
for at our activity to be completely
i'm separated from all that is
and this is the direction and aim
of the practice of thousand
and this is why you know we can't
do it right and we can't do it wrong it's not something we're trying to accomplish it's just the direction of our life
and if we think that we're doing it pretty well gee here i am i'm actually being one with buddha
actually being one with the universe just like blue that's just arrogance and hubris
so we have this vow
and we sit
with our whole body and mind making the effort to be one with the universe
and the same time we feel
some
deep sorrow that we can't do it so naturally there's repentance
we have this vow
and we can't accomplish it
so then we feel repentant
itself is repentance in the
sutro samantha bandra
it says

if you wish to repent sit zazen and contemplate the true nature of all things
the chamorro russia says in other words it is in doing zazen the true repentance is actualized

so this season of ours is both
thou and repentance
whoa this life of wow this is this is what the word devotion means the life of wow
literally the the the
the meaning of the word devotion is a vow
and organs and he says and in who zang yi
the character of the school is simply
devotion to sitting
total engagement in immovable sitting
so even
so this may be a little confusing because last night i said i want you to take care of yourself from the session and if you must move move
but when you if you must move your body
move your body but don't lose your mind
total engagement in i'm in an immovable sitting
so we make every effort
to be still quiet settled here undivided
and we continue that effort
unceasingly
but we don't entertain thoughts so now i'm doing it right or now i'm doing it wrong
i'm just making my best effort on each moment
to be completely whole one with the universe right here right now
hmm
during this session for the first couple of days
i would like us all to be able to sit without the interruption of practice discussion or dog son
ah the dishes will still stand at the top of the stairs and if someone feels so real urgency
ah
they will arrange for you to speak with a teacher
but it would i would like it unless something special occurs or comes up for you if we can just all give ourselves
an opportunity to settle in with a minimum of distraction
for these first two days
and when you do
i have dogs son or practice discussion
please
ha
be very focused
it was sometimes ordinary times outside of sixteen we may allow ourselves room to wander into discursive conversation and oak son and practice discussion
but during such shame please stay directly with what's happening now right here
what's happening now with you in this moment not
wandering off into
telling a story about some time outside some time or someone outside of this moment try to try to see what it's like to keep your attention or even when you're speaking with your teacher on
just this
this is whole hearted practice
there is time before and after says shane
to explore and investigate problems about what you're gonna do with the rest of your life or what happened last week or
whatever
ah and also perfectly good things to speak with your teacher about but in session try to keep your attention very close to right here
when you find yourself wandering into a story please come back and just see what's happening what physical sensation can you
notice when you're paying careful attention
what emotion can you notice right here in you're paying careful attention
how do you experience that emotion right here when you're paying careful attention this his whole hearted practice
can i disentangle from the story of my life and wake up to what's right here now
how refreshing

here's a lovely quotation hear from
oh pichia roshi again
home

you positive

he says all those as in his prior to the separation of all things this is not to say that in southern we lose consciousness
since life is being vigorously manifested all things are reflected and it is not losing sight of self here and now
but what does it mean to say that in zazen although everything is before division or discrimination there is no loss of self here and now
it means that self here and now is eternity the whole earth all sentient beings
this is a remarkable thing
i'm not saying it's logically so
rather that since the reality is us and as such we are concretely unable to directly experienced through in the self in which this moment is one with eternity

living every day by surrendering to zazen being protected and guided by says in means to live
having a direction that is living without being pulled around by the thoughts and emotions rampaging inside us
at the same time this means to live aiming at enacting the unity of the present moment and the eternal

this is our life as a person lies precisely where we live in peace while progressing and progress while living in peace dogan sanjay refers to this as the identity of practice of enlightenment
this is without a doubt the structure of the actualization of life

this living a life of vow living a life of devotion
the source of great joy
a source of great gratitude
it's worth making our best effort
to find
where we can settle down in this life
and just completely express it
one each moment
finding and experiencing our connection
with all that is
one i
her early in my practice
no before i were to pass or maybe nineteen seventy
when a jew kenneth roshi first came to this country
she had a little she rented little apartment over and potrero hill
she came here and gave some talks and it was the and she read some of her translations of some of the suitors are chanted daily
in
the and soto zen
monasteries
and it was the first time i had heard in a translations we had only children and japanese you
i was very excited
and i went over and sat with her sometimes on potrero hill
when this was a not just after the sixties i was very much in love with love at this time and one of the sutras which and it was called the love of again
and
i don't know who who forget was anything but i decided that this this is for me because it was about love and this was what was the most important thing
ah
the food end is the japanese name for someone to bud your bodhisattva
so anyhow somehow just
i beg i developed a real affinity for some want the butter bodhisattva
and
couple of years later and not knowing much about this bodhisattva archetype at all
a couple years later when i was at tassajara for my first practice period reb was
she saw
and
but the shoe sole ceremony each person and practice period is supposed to try to present
kind of their whole life in a question to the shoe sole
and one i am it came time for me to ask my question i asked rep whose for again
and he said you are
but not if you think you are
still i had and i continued to have this feeling for fergana not know too much about about some of the bedroom
little bit but someone to by truth kind of elusive the other comes off the sutra hadn't been
the pump cleary hadn't yet translated it
and i didn't the i didn't go around asking a lot of questions i might have found out more if i got an escalade i was looking for pictures it's not a lot of iconography about so on to budge either
oh it's hard to find an altar figure someone to bhadra free sample
ah riding on the elephant
oh
but a number of years later i wish you so
and rob ask me a question is are you still like someone to buttress much as used to and i said oh yes it's so what can someone to bond to do that that much as you can do
i said take wisdom into the world to meet people
i don't know where that came from that's just what came out you know when you're sitting on that seat you never know where responses come from
but actually recently ah and titan layton's book on bodhisattva archetypes that's not a bad one line description of the meaning of of us want the bhadra the smarter by draw occupied
this love of someone to bandra
is is to take the wisdom and compassion of the buddha into everyday life into daily activity to take the wisdom of non-discrimination the wisdom of
no separation
into the world to meet people it's not a bad description i don't know where it came from but it's not then
and this has been cut have a pet this has been kind of a passion for me to understand some onto bhadra and samantha bedroom when you begin to investigate
ah the the literature is the bodhisattva of grape thou
the third the volume of of the other tom saga is about a month budrus great foul
so it's interesting to me but without knowing anything about it somehow this affinity ah
all happened with
with the bodhisattva of love and devotion
which is
sort of
fits fits be you know we all have our and i think i think reminiscing is questionable what can someone job under do that manjushri can't do is expressing him manjushri i mean he's sort of the manjushri archetype really fits rim
ah the penetrating wisdom
ah so it's kind of interesting how we latch on to the bodhisattva archetype that that fits who we are
and this life of vow
this life of devotion
is something that ah
i think i mentioned some a couple of years ago when i found out that my second grade school teacher from catholic school was still alive and i went to visit her
she was the first person i think i met who was living a life of devotion and i was very ah
moved by it somehow
and i remembered her all these years
and i
i got on a plane and went back seer she was eighty nine years old she remembered me
ah
she read my sister's remember my father
that song
about sixty six years ago

this life of devotion
this life of wow
if what i said is
two vow to be one with all being the vowed to be complete completely this one
as it is which includes everything
and we express this though
throughout our life but particularly during this week
by devotion
two immovable sitting
an attention to each detail
of our activity throughout the week

what is your bow
whoa the
the are in