This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good afternoon, everyone. Good to see you all again. We're going to start with, guess what? The quote that Shinshu used yesterday. This is Yurashi's quote, okay? You will have this practice of not fighting with things. Then you can be with the suffering without cutting off the chain of suffering. And that time it's not suffering anymore. So basically what we're going to talk about today is the chain of suffering, otherwise known as the self. Who here feels like they have a self?

[01:08]

Yeah? Look, you're doing a benediction. Who here has heard of the teachings of no self? Who here thinks that the teachings of self means you don't have a self? Who here thinks that the teachings of no self mean that you don't have a self? No fixed, unchanging self. Good. Anybody else? So you're pretty sure that even though there's the teachings of no self, you still have a self of some kind? No kind. Glad to hear it. Okay. So what we're going to talk about today is I'm going to talk about two positions because we need bifocal vision when we talk about the self and no-self and the teachings of no-self.

[02:13]

The first eyeball looks at the self and the structure of the self and the way the self, as we usually know it, is perpetuated. That's one eyeball. The other eyeball, the other version of vision, is the self that sees that the self is dependently co-arisen phenomenon and knows itself to be that. Okay? So what I want to talk about at first is the part of our practice in which we get real intimate with the nature of this self that we feel all the time. Okay? The nature of delusion. So one good way to talk about this There are many ways. One way is the 12-fold chain of causation, which I think is what Suzuki Roshi was referring to. And basically, I'm not going to go into the details of it, but basically, the way it works is you have ignorance, okay?

[03:20]

Everybody here is familiar with ignorance, right? Anybody here think that you're not familiar with ignorance? Yeah. you don't know what ignorance is, because that's really important. It's like Shinshu was saying yesterday, we have to notice. We have to notice suffering. We have to notice ignorance. To notice ignorance is wisdom. Right? So the first thing is to see ignorance. Based on ignorance, Causes and conditions come together. Consciousness arises. There are condition factors. There's consciousness. There's name and form. There's senses, contact. Basically, the world arises. We have the capacity to see and objects to see and a mind that sees. Conditioned by ignorance, these perceptual events occur, right?

[04:25]

And out of those perceptual events, because of ignorance, we create the world we live in. This is very basic Buddhism of all kinds. We create the world we live in. Because the world that we live in is based on ignorance, craving arises. Clinging arises. Because we don't see clearly. We don't see the nature of things. We think we exist. We think others exist in a certain way. Because craving and clinging arise, we re-become. The self arises. This condition, this greedy bug self. Come on! So this then is the next link, which is becoming and rebirth. So we can think about rebirth in terms of lifetime to lifetime, but as Shinji was saying yesterday, we can also think about it as moment to moment.

[05:37]

The rebirth of this particular self. This particular version of reality. In the process of that rebirth, entanglement and samsara arises. I really like that phrase, entanglement of cesara. And as Shinji talked about yesterday, I'm going to refer to her a lot because she did such a great job. We don't cut entanglement by cutting entanglement. We cut entanglement with entanglement. This is Dogen Senji's way. Other ways is to just cut the entanglement. But in that entanglement, ignorance is perpetuated. So it just goes round and [...] round. This is the nature of the deluded self. When we sit down, when we pay attention, we become quite intimate with that. We can start to see where we can put spokes in the wheel. You know, this wheel is like rolling downhill. It's got lots of karmic gravity behind it.

[06:41]

It's moving. It's just rolling downhill. One moment after another, re-becoming this delusion over and over and over again. So when we sit down, when we slow down, we can start to see where can I put something in the wheels to stop this thing. This is very important. It's very important that we don't underestimate our own delusion. That we actually get very concrete about the self and look at what we do to perpetuate our own delusion. And for most of us, unless you do very concentrated meditation practice, the process of the arising of conditions is very, very fast. We don't actually see the thought when it arises. Sometimes if you're very still, you can see that. So we have to look for other places to enter this system. We look, we see craving and clinging.

[07:45]

This is what the... the self just loves to do, doesn't it? I need the next thing I want. I want like those old Pac-Man things, you know, I want, [...] I want. It's exhausting. It's absolutely exhausting when we're run by this. And so often we are run by this. It's very important not to get arrogant and think that you're not. So this is a description of the way we work, the way the deluded self works. This is one version of studying the Self. Another way of looking at it is called the Yogacara. Some of you have heard of the Yogacara philosophy. I'm only going to talk about a tiny little sliver of it because it's quite complex and beautiful rendition of our human lives. This is a way of understanding how to practice and how to work with our minds. So it was told that you can't read this right.

[08:50]

Okay, it says Yogachara. And it's a description of consciousness. So the way it works is this. Similar to this system, we have perception. We have eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body, mind. Even though every morning we chant that we have no eyes, no ears, no nose, no tongue, no body, no mind. We have eyes, ears, nose, tongue. We have senses. I see you, you see me. Something happens. So those are our senses. So the sense perceptions come in to this body, here, this one. And immediately we make certain discriminations. This is at a very rudimentary level. I don't even name it wall. I see gray. I see people. Our world is divided up. Oh, thank you. Our world is divided up into constituent elements.

[09:54]

But still, there's no real, there's nothing going on. Just bare attention, bare perception. And then, this guy gets involved, or gal gets involved. This is, this is the senses. So far, we talked about the senses and what's called mano-vijjnana. Vijjnana is consciousness. So mano-vijjnana is a kind of gatekeeper, kind of rudimentary assigner. Manas should have kind of, you know those signs where it says biohazard? Biohazard or, you know, those triangles that say nuclear waste or something like that. That's Manas. Sorry, can you say Mano-Vijjnana? M-A-N-O, Vijjnana. What's that one? Mano-Vijjnana is kind of a gatekeeper, kind of a basic discerner. Yeah. This from that. Right.

[10:56]

Manas is the storyteller. Manas is the I. At the level of Manas is when we create our reality. At the level of Manas is where narrative happens, where we have preferences. where we have stories. For example, a dog comes up to you and you were bit by a dog when you were a child, right? Whole memory comes up, whole story comes up, manas. Stories, I don't like this person. I do this. I do I, [...] I. The quality of manas is big, fat I. Every perception that comes in that's ordered by the manas is ordered in a self-centered fashion. You know what? Manas never sleeps. The other faculties go to sleep. Manas never sleeps, according to the Yogacara. So Manas is the seat of the deluded eye, the deluded self.

[11:59]

Right? Is this clear? Manas never sleeps, and Manas takes all of the raw material that's kind of basically put together, at the Mano-Visnana, and it orders it so that I am the center of the universe. I matter more than anybody else. What I need is most important. I see you as a function of my needs. Okay? That's what Manas does. And it's incredibly subtle and incredibly powerful. Really, really powerful, this dimension of our consciousness. Manas rests on the storehouse consciousness, what's called the Alaya Vishnana. And the storehouse consciousness stores all of the, there's different ways of talking about it, but for today we'll talk about it, stores all of the sense impressions, every bit of our conscious experience, all of it is stored in Alaya Vishnana.

[13:07]

Storehouse consciousness, okay? Now, the cool thing is, in this storehouse consciousness are these little items called bijas, or seeds. Bijas, B-I-J-A-S. Bijas, or seeds. And these seeds are planted by our actions. And they ripen in the Alaya Vishnana, and they're said to perfume the Alaya Vishnana. And this perfume permeates our being. Permeates. It's like, it orders our world in such a subtle, subtle way. The cool thing is that this can change. Okay? So, the way it works with a bija is, let's just say, grumpy bija. Okay? Grumpy bija arises based on causes and conditions and previous actions

[14:08]

grumpiness arises. It's a grumpy bisha, okay? But, because of our awareness in our practice, we don't enact that grumpiness, that anger, that jealousy, that impatience, that greed. Instead, we practice gentleness. We practice patience, forbearance. generosity when we do that what gets planted in the alaya vizyana is a seed of generosity patience kindness right so gradually according to this model gradually our world changes what we actually see changes what we actually experience changes Because what arises every time we plant a seed of patience, that's what's going to come up more frequently.

[15:19]

Right? Does this make sense to you? So this is a model of purification, and it's a model that tells us how to work with our own minds, how to work with delusion, how to work with the self. What kind of original source text discuss these ideas? You can look at, what is it, Vasi Bandus? Check with me afterwards. I'll get it. How many verses is that? How many verses is that? Vasi Bandus 30 verses? Yeah, that's one thing. Anyway, talk to me afterwards and I'll give you, because it's, who's the Chinese guy? Anyway. Yeah, wait. We talk. So, we'll get together about that. Okay? Sorry. I can't think off the top of my head about this. But the point about the Yogacara is it's enormously rich and there's all things about, you know, Buddha bodies and all kinds of stuff in there.

[16:30]

But what we're talking about is just this little tiny piece. Okay? Does this make sense to you all? This is a kind of purification model. Yeah. I don't know if you want me to wait till the end. No, no, no. I want to make sure that people understand what's going on. I'm just curious how, besides the Alaya Vijnana, the first three sound similar to the five aggregates. Yes. And I was going to talk about them in relationship to that. You can. You can. And it's just. Math onto each other and discuss that a little bit. that's a longer discussion. Or if they have a related history. Can we hold that? Because I have more to go. Sure. But, of course, this is the census. This is like the 12-fold chain of causation. This is the census. This is the skandas. This is how it works. This is a much later teaching.

[17:31]

This is a Mahayana teaching. It's a much later teaching. So, The way the sequence usually works is they talk about the majamaka developing and then the yogachara developing. This is a positive kind of way of talking about the self that I really like. Because when we hear no self, no self, no self, sometimes we can skip looking at what the self is actually doing. And the yogachara articulates what's happening. Because if we don't pay attention to that, we get into trouble. So that's what I wanted to talk about today. This is a purification model. It's a model that if you work with your mind, you can actually change your experience. If you're in the kitchen and somebody is taking up a little bit too much room on the cutting board, you know what that's like?

[18:34]

you know, space, people, somebody's spreading out all this stuff. Maybe they got there early before everybody else, and they put their cutting board and their knives out, and they're, I'm taking up space. Or earlier, Keith was talking about sitting next to Philip Whelan during Sashin, and how he moved the whole time, and coughed, and moved, and he had all this stuff. And if you've ever sat next to somebody during Sashin, and they're driving you crazy, and you want to throttle them... You're here for a practice period and you're nice and calm and at the end of the practice period you go home and you revert to ten years old. Does anybody have these experiences? You're powerfully concentrated and mindful and you have this really lovely sense of peace and then something comes along to get you out immediately. It's of course that's going to happen. We look at those things as opportunities because, according to this model, that is a bija of irritation or a bija of unconsciousness or a bija of greed arising.

[19:46]

And we get to actually, we have the power to make a difference in our own minds, to change what actually arises. This is mind training, right? This is mind training. This is mind purification. So this is really important, but this is only one dimension, only one part of the view. If we stick with this, we think that we, as we know ourselves to be, are the genesis of practice. And Dogenzenji has a very different view of that. So we might call this, in Japanese Buddhism, there are these two phrases, jiriki and taiiriki. Do you guys ever talk about that? Chidiki and Tairiki? Chidiki. G. G. Self. Hi. Other. Self-effort. Other effort.

[20:51]

Okay. Self-effort means it's all up to me. Me. Me, me. And I'm the only one. I'm practicing. I'm practicing. Right? Now what's interesting is... Oh, you know what? If you're interested in Yogacara, the best discussion is Thich Nhat Hanh's transformation at the base. Start there. Transformation at the base. Because what happens over time in the Yogacara system is the manas transforms into what's called equality wisdom. So instead of being this colossally powerful self-centered energy, the manas sees things as they are and acts with equality of self and other. Now notice, the self does not evaporate, but it is organized in a different way.

[21:57]

One of the ways to think about the self is a way of organizing perception, period. neutral. The self organizes perception. But the question is how does it organize perception? The unpurified manas here organizes perception always about me as the center of the universe and everything is serving me. Equality wisdom organizes perception according to All beings. All beings. Sentient, insentient. One way of thinking about this is that the self becomes not this one, but it becomes the dependently arisen vitality of this moment. Everything included. So, the self continues to organize.

[23:00]

but it organizes based on this being is part of the ecology of this moment. So it doesn't negate the self, but it changes the organization of the self. That, then, changes our actions, right? When we are in tune with the situation, when we are responsive, Bhagavad Gita talks about responsive communion, Responsive communion. When we know ourselves to be not just capable of responsive communion, but to be responsive communion, then our actions are really different. It changes the world, actually. So this is this vision of the self that's really a wonderful articulation of how delusion works. what exactly happens. But that's only one part of this.

[24:05]

The other part of this, since I told you I was going to talk about a field guide, Soto Zen, the other part of this is how Dogen Zenji talks about the self. Dogen Senji says, it goes without saying, the word all existence cannot be labeled by such words as subject or object, noumenon or phenomenon. In the entire universe, there is not even a single object alien to the Buddha nature, nor is there any second existence other than the universe. So this is in Bhushok. So he says over and over again, you are Buddha nature. And he says, Buddha nature is all existence. And that we must become very intimate with that.

[25:09]

We must become very intimate with that experience of subjectivity. Another text that you might be interested in about the self and the nature of the self... is Anne Klein's Meeting the Great Bliss Queen. I hope you have a copy in the library. Meeting the Great Bliss Queen. Isn't that a great title? Subtitle is Buddhism, Feminism, and the Art of the Self. She discusses mindfulness. She's talking about mindfulness here, not talking about Shikantaza. She's talking about mindfulness, and she talks about what happens when you take mindfulness as the base. awareness as the base of your subjectivity. Not the content of your subjectivity. Not narrative. Not I am this person, that person, the other person. But awareness itself. Content can change. She calls this ontological non-dualism. The point is that there's freedom in that.

[26:12]

Not just for you, but for the people that you're around. Not just for the people that you're around, but for all the beings that are around you, sentient and insentient. Another interesting article is by Francis Cook, where he talks about the socio-ethical implications of Dogen Zenji's teachings on no-self. Don't you love that title? But basically what he says is when we realize this, we stop putting human beings in the center of the universe. We see the entire universe as the center of the universe. What would our world be like if we stopped putting human beings in the center? How would we take care of this earth if we stopped seeing ourselves as the top of the heap? Really different. So how we view the self has profound implications for how we act. If we understand that we are all beings, we have to examine our privilege very carefully.

[27:18]

white privilege, male privilege, middle-class privilege. We have to start, like, really getting real with people in this world. And not just people, but beings. So there is a huge, huge impact in terms of studying the self. So part of it is this. But part of it is this shift from myself, taking care of myself, being myself, I want to be happier, I want to be this, I want to be that. Self-improvement project, right? No problem. We have to take care of that self. But if that's all we're doing, we miss the mystery and the beauty of Dogen Zenji's way. Because Dogen Zenji's way is this moment is all Buddha's. This self is all beings. Right now. There is no preparation for what is already present. You got that? There is no preparation for what is already present.

[28:21]

He says over and over again, you should trust that you are already in the way from the very beginning. Who is that you that's in the way, of the way, completely of the way from the very beginning? It's usually not the you that we think ourselves to be. Sometimes we can think that. So this is... This is a challenge, a very deep challenge. Dogan Zen Chi is a very deep challenge for who we think we are and what our practice is. Shohaku Okamura, wonderful Zen teacher, says, the subject of this practice is not this person. Got that? The subject... Subjectivity is a great word to use in terms of the self because it's less, it's more verb-like and less noun-like.

[29:23]

The subject, not what we're studying, but the one who studies, the subject of this practice is not this person. This is the same thing as saying zazen sit zazen, right? You don't sit, Suzuki Roshi famously said, you don't sit zazen, zazen sit zazen. So who is that? Who is that self that sits on? Who is that self who's the subject of this way, this study? Rinzai said, talked about this phrase called jishin. I said I'd talk a little bit about faith today. How late do we go? 4.30, okay. Rinzai talked about jishin. Again, the self, the self of self-effort, the character self.

[30:27]

Shin, often you've probably heard of shin meaning mind, right? Beginner's mind. But shin also is the character for faith or trust. So Rinzai says the jishin confidence what he says, confidence. You absolutely have to have confidence. If you don't have confidence, you'll keep searching for external validation. You'll run around from here to there trying to figure out your life in such a way that you're comfortable. And you get everything that you need. This shin, this trust, in this self, this ji, is not trust in the deluded self, it's trust in the self that knows itself to be all beings. Okay?

[31:28]

This is a different meaning of trust and faith. It's not trust in something. It's the activity of practice is trust. That's the activity, the activity of a the self that knows itself to be all beings is practice. Right? The subject of this practice is not this person. So we have a different vision of self here. Are you with me on this? Different vision of self. It's not a set construct as you all pointed out from the beginning. It's fluid. It's changeable. But it's more than fluid and changeable. It's the dynamic expression of this moment. That is the self. That's what we are. But we forget. That self that includes everything also includes our delusion. We think we have to change into something else.

[32:34]

Maybe. Have you ever thought that? You need to change into something. You need to be some other kind of person. I always like it. We pick somebody, right, that's really confident or smart or patient. I used to work with a woman who, no matter what, I worked at Kaiser Hospital, and no matter what, she was unflappable. And I had lived four years at Tassajara, practiced and all this stuff. And this woman outshone me constantly. So I went to my teacher and he said, it's really hard to be around people who don't need to practice. So we always pick somebody. We pick somebody that we think is what we should be. And then we say, if I could be that, everything, I'd be happier, people would love me, whatever. What we often don't know is they're also looking at somebody else, right? And if they're not, sometimes that's a problem because arrogance is a real problem.

[33:39]

Confidence is one thing, arrogance is another. When we know ourselves to be all beings, it includes our greedy bug self. Reb said once he was going to give somebody the Dharma name, greedy bug. But it's the truth, right? We are all, as the Jodhoshin folks say, foolish human beings. We're not going to change from a fish to a dragon. We're not going to change into some other kind of being, and we don't need to. Because when we know ourselves to be the ecology of reality in this moment, that includes this self that doesn't need to become something else. Completely patient-wise, we don't need to become the same. The problem with that view is if we forget the first one, the purification model, we can get really lazy. We can get lazy.

[34:40]

We can start to excuse moral lapses. We can say, ah, it doesn't matter. It's all empty anyway. Or I don't have to become somebody else. I'm finding who I am. I can be a jerk. I can be, you know, a patient. I can be this. I can be that. It's all okay. It's all part of the ecology of reality. Well, no. Because it impacts other people. So this is what I mean about this binocular vision. If we just go with this, then it's a self-improvement project and we think we're going to become perfect someday. That's not what's going to happen. Well, according to me. According to Dogen Sanji, it's not about perfection. It's about showing up and being the practice in this moment as you are. Come as you are. Not as somebody else. Yamada Roshi said, Honesty is the most important thing in the practice of Zazen. Okay? Honesty is the most important thing in the practice of Zaza.

[35:42]

And the second statement was, this always got me, obviously it stuck with me, I read it many years ago, you must suffer absolutely. You must suffer absolutely. That doesn't mean, you know, you need to put yourself through a torture chamber. It means you have to be absolutely present for the nature of your own mind in this moment. And the only way you can do that is if you rest in this moment completely with kindness. Kindness, compassion, stability, equanimity, all these virtues. So, to be, to be, to taste the truth of the Tathagata's words, if we say, the only way to taste the truth is to have the Tathagata's tongue, right? You can't taste, you can eat a hamburger, I can't taste it. Maybe you're a vegetarian.

[36:42]

You know, I think it was Sasaki where she said, you can't change as much as a fart with somebody else. We have this unique being. We are a unique being. I'll read you something else about uniqueness. Dogenzenji says in the Mountains and Rivers Sutra, uniqueness is very important. In this uniqueness, Buddha is studying Buddha's way through our practice. This is Shohaku saying, the subject of this practice is not this person. The mountains, without altering their own body and mind, with their own mountain continents, have always been studying themselves in this way. Okay, let me read that again. Uniqueness is very important. Each of you. Each of you. Unique self. Doesn't need to be something else. In this uniqueness, Buddha is studying Buddha's way through our practice.

[37:49]

Buddha is studying Buddha's way through our practice. The mountains, without altering their own body and mind, in other words, you don't have to alter your body and mind, even though I'm telling you to transform Omanis at the same time. with their own mountain continents. When you set Siddhasan, when you're working in the kitchen, when you're carrying plates to the dining room, when you're doing the garden, when you're cleaning the abbot's garden, whatever you're doing, that is the mountain continents. That is Buddha studying Buddha's way. Without altering their own body and mind, with their own mountain continents, have always been studying themselves in this way. Always from the beginning. You are of the Buddha way. And Dogenzenji is very, very clear. You need to know this. You need to know that Buddha studies Buddha's way. Let's see if I can find... He talks about this as the entire body becoming faith itself.

[38:58]

Let's see if I can find that quote. I believe it's in Gakuro Yojinshu. Yes. Okay, listen to this one, okay? This is Ngakiro Yojinshu. It is imperative for those who practice the way to believe in it. Those who have faith in the way should know for certain that they are unfailingly in the way from the very beginning. So the moment, it's bodhicitta, right? The moment you begin practice, you are of the way. In fact, even before that, you are of the way. You couldn't be not of the way. So who is that person that's been of the way from the very beginning? Believing in this manner and penetrating the way thus, practice accordingly. Such is the fundamental learning of the way. Okay, here's a bit about faith. Faith is so called when the entire body becomes faith itself.

[40:04]

This is called Koshin Jishin. Jishin again? Jishin? Faith is one with the fruit of enlightenment. The fruit of enlightenment is one with faith. If it is not the fruit of enlightenment, faith is not realized. On account of this, it is said that faith is the entrance to the ocean of Dharma. Indeed, where faith is attained, there is the realization of the Buddha and ancestors. This faith is, in another way he says, emptiness leaping out of itself. This faith is mountain setting mountain way. This faith is investigating, doubting, questioning, hammering at the Dharma. Because the Dharma can stand up to it. Your teachers can stand up to it. Have at it. Stephen Batchelor says, faith is the capacity to follow doubt to the end.

[41:09]

So your doubt is very important. This kind of faith is not about. This is about turning the light inward, knowing that the turning of the light is an expression of your practice. And that is the activity of faith. Practice is the activity of faith. Tzidin Zazen is the body and breath of faith. And that is who you are fundamentally. Okay. I want questions and comments. Maybe it's 4.15. We have about 15 more minutes. Yes. I've heard that turn the light lately, turn the light, and we're going to talk to you a lot before I came here. You said it in relation to faith that I don't see the connections. Two things. In order to risk turning the light anywhere and looking at things honestly, there has to be some sense that it's not suicidal, basically.

[42:19]

That the self has to trust that the transformation that occurs in this process is a wholesome one. You have to believe enough in the Dharma to bother doing it. That's a form of faith. That's kind of a provisional faith. The faith that Dogen Senchi is talking about is, it's very hard to describe, but the activity of the body and breath of faith is practice. Turning the light inward is the activity of the body and breath of faith. Not so that you'll get someplace else, but it's an enactment. Exazen is an enactment of It's an enactment that you already are of the Buddha way. Does Dogen use turning light inward? I'd have to look that up. I'm using it as in this way, in manas.

[43:24]

I'm using it in two ways. One is, in manas, turn the light on what's happening in your life. Look and see. Am I being impatient? What conditions are arising in my life? And how can I change that in order to plant patience, kindness, tenderness, compassion, equanimity, so that my life actually... Can I look? Can I turn the light on my life and look at it? That's number one. That's really, really important. The other is more subtle to talk about. The light turns itself. The light turns the light into the light. Sorry about that. But it's much more subtle. But this is the activity of faith. Okay? Other questions?

[44:26]

and I'm hoping you can expand it for me to say that faith is having enough trust that at one's core there is no actual will to self-invasion of the self, or suicide, practically, in order to look inwards with full honesty. I think that's a good one. It's a good one to start with. When I talk about Tairiki, when I talk about other effort, I'm talking about Buddhas practicing Buddhas way. So, one one aspect is getting to know ourselves and seeing what we're up to and really learning that we already are Buddha.

[45:32]

Right? Then Buddha practices Buddha's way and that's Tairiki. That's another form of faith. Yes? I have two questions. So one is that going back to... relationship between what you have written up there and five aggregates. Yeah, how they map off to each other and if they have a related history at all, if you said that's much later about my teaching. And then also when you're talking about the book, Meeting the Great Bliss Queen, you just mentioned that this is, it's about mindfulness, not that you can cause it here. Yeah. my interest. I was curious if you could talk a little bit about mindfulness versus Shikantaza. Shikantaza is Buddha practicing Buddha's way. Shikantaza sits Shikantaza. You do not sit Shikantaza.

[46:34]

You do not sit Zazen. Zazen sits Zazen. This is the activity of Buddha. This is Dogenzonji's teaching. Mindfulness has many, many understandings in the contemporary world. It's been kind of lifted off like there's these balloons of different versions of mindfulness floating around the world. One of them is, get to know yourself so that you can be nicer to other people. That's a really good thing. But that's not the same thing as looking at the five skandhas, looking through the self to see the actual nature of delusion when it arises. That's a much deeper understanding of mindfulness. This is Buddhist understanding of mindfulness. Pay attention not just to what's happening, but the root of delusion. That's a good thing to do. It is not Shikantasa. Shikantaza is just this moment as it is, enacting enlightenment, sleepy Buddha, grumpy Buddha, you know, distracted Buddha. Okay. Shikantaza, over and over and over again, in the faith that you are Buddha, this moment, no matter what it is.

[47:39]

Different. Related, helpful, you can use both, but different. Different. Thanks for your talk. You're welcome. Two things I'd like to mention. One is that it seems worth saying that in the early teachings Buddha discusses this point of don't trust me. Don't take my word for it. Don't do something because your teacher says, so try it on. How does that fit in our discussion? Well, you know, I have a student where I teach, the university where I teach, who's a very, very... He's now a Theravadan monk, and very well-versed. And he said, one of the things, the second part of that that you never hear is that Buddha says, and check it out with an elder. Nice. Okay? So, this is the doubt part. This is the part where I think the Buddha is saying that Dharma can stand up to your tough questions, and you should ask tough questions.

[48:49]

It deepens your practice. It makes it alive in it. It makes you know it. You know, if you don't ask hard questions, if you don't dialogue, if you don't say what, [...] not just understanding in an intellectual way, but really deep koan, you know, engaging, throwing yourself into the abode of the Buddha. Throw yourself into the abode of the Buddha. That's that kind of deep questioning. Then you can taste the truth of the yogicist words. So you have to have that. But I also like to mention now that he says, check it out with an elder. Don't just go off on your own. Okay? That means before, departing, or after, or both. The second thing that comes to mind is that the Dharma being present before, during, and after the Buddha. It comes to mind that When we're sitting shikantaza, the dharma is busy manifesting itself.

[49:53]

If I can use the word busy. That's just for fun. It seems like there's something congruent between that and some flavor of mindfulness practice where we're being mindful of the dharma as it's upholding. Who's mindful? That's a start. That's where we get to the root of, who are we? That's what we're asking, right? What, what, what, what, what? Dogen Center says, how, what is our family name? What, what, what, what, what? So we say, what is the self? Okay, we can talk about this, that, and the other. But who's mindful? Yes?

[50:54]

The English word faith, the Japanese word that Dogen said, 12th century Japanese word, probably is not the same word as the English word faith, but it's translated as faith. Yeah. The English word faith has its roots of loyalty. Yes. Fideris. Instead of in belief. But it is later than, you know, coupled with belief. Yeah. the same thing to believe. And insofar as it is belief, it is what comes before the experience of the truth. You have faith, or as St. Paul said, now we see through a glass dark way, but later we won't have to have faith because we will see the face of God. In Buddhism it seems the same thing, that you have trust and faith that this practice is going to get you somewhere. that you're not, that you are already within nature, and that you're not soaked in original sin and at root evil, and in fact at root you are good, this seems to be the key faith you have to start to practice with.

[52:16]

And it happens before, not later. But the way you stick the faith with Dogan, you have to be enlightened to have that faith. No. Because the faith is the enlightened. The faith is the practice. Difference. Let me read you something about... Listen. Let's see if I have this. Realization. Do not suppose... This is Dogen Senji... I can't remember which fascicle. Do not suppose that what you realize becomes your knowledge and is grasped by your consciousness. Although actualized immediately, the inconceivable may not be apparent. Do not suppose that what you realize becomes your knowledge. You know, it's kind of a little bit like don't worry your pretty little head about it. Do not suppose that what you realize becomes your knowledge.

[53:16]

So I want to respond to what you're saying is that... Fidelis, you know, fidelity, there's a certain kind of understanding of faith, which is, we have faith that the sun's going to rise in the morning, we have that kind of faith. We have to have some basis, right, for testing the truth of the practice. But the faith that I'm trying to point out, and this is a subtle thing, we can have many conversations about this, what is the enactment of the practice. The enactment of the practice is the Buddha practicing Buddha's way. We have all kinds of ideas about what enlightenment is. Usually it goes something like, I'm going to be happy and comfortable and I'm never going to suffer again. Suzuki Roshi says, you think you all want to be enlightened, but you might not like it. So we have to drop even our notion of

[54:18]

Whether we know or not. Whether we experience what is enlightenment. It is the enactment of the practice. Whatever our experience is. Our experience is just our experience. That's all it is. It's not the reality. It's just our experience. But faith is enacting that. Regardless of what we think or feel. Not ignoring this other dimension, but enacting it. Which is practice. Which is practice. So, practice is faith expressing itself. Moment after moment after moment after moment after moment. And we are a part, our experience is just a part of that. It can change.

[55:20]

It will change. That's not the point. When we're attached to our enlightenment, it's like, you know, our enlightenment is a contradiction in terms. So this self that we have that we're never going to get rid of as if we could is just a part of the whole thing. But the deeper subject is enacting the practice every moment. And that's where we taste the truth of, let's talk it this way. That's where Dogen's energy pushes us to say, what, what, what? Who is mindful? What, what, what? And then we want to know that, right? Knowledge presumes an object that we can know. But this is a different kind of knowledge. This is enactment, whether we know it or not. Know it. Okay?

[56:31]

It's 4.30. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma Talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, Visit sfcc.org and click Giving.

[56:51]

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