Studying about enthusiasm or joyful effort. But before we go into that, I was thinking that it might be a good time now to kind of check out how we're feeling about bodhicitta, because I keep coming back over and over again to this idea of bodhicitta, the mind of enlightenment, and what I'm trying to do, especially those of you who have been coming to the dharma talks as well, is I'm trying to like, in different ways, with different layers of stuff from different angles, kind of give a sense of what that is all about, what the bodhicitta is and what it feels like and how it defines our practice. And so, what I'd like to do in the beginning here is I would like to just take about one minute for everybody to think about bodhicitta, whatever you've gotten out of our discussions,

[01:08]

whatever you think at this point the bodhicitta is, I'd like you to just settle your mind for a second and check out in your own mind what is the bodhicitta for you, where are you at with it, and compose a little line or sentence or something about the bodhicitta, which could be very poetic and impressionistic or it could be very matter-of-fact. And then, after about a minute, when we've all done that, I'll just call on people and we'll kind of make a little tapestry here of what we think, where we're at at this point with bodhicitta, since the whole point of developing the paramitas is to develop the bodhicitta. I want to see where we're at with that now. So let's take about a minute to see what ... Don't think about this too much, just whatever comes up in your mind, wherever you're actually at, whatever it is. I mean, it might be like, I have no idea what it is and I could care less. That's okay. We want to be honest here and hear what's actually going on, that's the point.

[02:12]

So whatever it is, let's have it, okay? Let's take about a minute. So let's do this really quickly, you know, I'll just call on people and just give your

[03:30]

whatever it is and then I'll go on to the next one so it all makes one seamless picture, okay? So, Mick, start us off, okay? Bodhicitta, the day and the night are long and full of opportunities. Andrea? I see bodhicitta as just an infinite number of dots that are connected. Tom? Something which is good when it's there but not part of my habitual awareness. Ann? I still can't wait for the light switch. Dick? Bodhicitta is like a pebble that ripples on the pond. Tori? Right now. Marlene? To lose yourself in the love for another.

[04:30]

Martin? Mindfulness of non-separateness as a source of compassion. Lee? Just taking the next step. Jordan? Like the Statue of Liberty, inspiring to all who see it. Good place to end, thank you. Well, that's great. It feels very lively, like it's really sinking in, it's wonderful. Thank you very much. Okay, so now our format, you know, we have to go do the same thing we did before which is just very briefly to review about the last paramita that we've been talking about which is patience. And we'll have a discussion about patience and then we'll see what we discovered about

[05:39]

the practice of patience. Again, those of you who weren't here last week, you know that you can, when it's your turn to speak, you can speak about whatever is arising from the class tonight. And the same if you haven't done the homework and also if you are working on another paramita, other than patience, you can report on that one. So, just to review, we were saying that, and Shantideva indicates that patience is not just don't be impatient, which is usually what we think of patience as, not an actual quality but just the absence of impatience. Actually, it's a positive, strong quality of endurance, of forbearance that enables us to stay with a difficult situation without losing our center and without forgetting what it is we're trying to do. Because it seems as if it goes along with being a human being that when we don't get

[06:46]

what we want, and when we are put next to what we don't want, which is frequently happening to us because we have projected plans about what's supposed to happen in this moment, and usually it doesn't, so then we get frustrated. And when we get frustrated, we get angry and upset, and that is the opposite of patience. Patience is bearing and being with what happens in this moment, whether it was what we planned or didn't plan. So what we were trying to work on this week with the patience, I think what usually happens to us is when we don't have the quality of patience, when we're in frustration, or even worse, in anger, which is frustration pointed at somebody else, our common expression is we lost it, by which we mean we're off the path, we're no longer practicing now, we lost it because we're angry and we're frustrated and we're just going off. So the assignment was to see whether when those moments happened, we could actually

[07:46]

have patience and stay with those moments and make those moments and those experiences part of the path, instead of having the experience of, oh, now I blew it, I'm not with it anymore because of that incident or that moment of anger and so on. And part of that, when you're angry, is not to blame, not to justify, because that's justifying our anger. And so, to practice patience, you can't really go with that train of thought, you really have to just stay with the sensations of anger and the experience of anger, rather than going off several steps. So that's what we were working with, and with the idea of when anger arises, which is an unpleasant sensation, that we were going to make an effort to see it as a positive, like Mick led us off with, an opportunity. So anger, especially this week, the idea was this week when you have all those nasty mental states that you really don't like and you think that you really want to get rid of, this week think, oh, perfect, you know, now I'm frustrated and angry and upset, the

[08:52]

great opportunity now to see whether I can practice patience. So those were the things that we were trying to work with this week, and I'm very anxious to see what happened. So, for about three minutes, first of all, everybody find a partner, somebody next to you, and get ready to talk. Okay? Okay, so, as you remember, now, let's have some reports about what you heard from your partner. You know, this is the way we'll see. It's one thing, you know, what it says in the book, but it's another thing, what actually happens when you try to put these things into practice, and that's what we can learn from each other, is what actually happens, what's each person's experience. So, anybody have anything that they heard that was interesting or useful? Yeah. As it turned out, both my partner and myself got tuned in to seeing afflicted states

[10:00]

arising, and were able to, number one, let them go their own way, their own merry way, and also, not, and one of the reasons they could go their own merry way was because they didn't have the shadow they normally had. That shadow was our own judgment of the afflicted situation, or ourselves, for, it's like a two-part judgment. And we seemed to be able to let that judgment go, and that was easier, it was easier for the afflicted feeling to go also, lighter. Yeah, this judgment is really a big factor, and the presence of judgment makes it very difficult to practice any of the Paramitas, don't you think? It's really very difficult. You have to be patient with judgment, you know, right? Yeah. Thank you. Taking up on that, my partner and I were both wondering, we were talking about anger, and

[11:04]

being patient with anger, and we were wondering, since we both tend to direct anger anywhere rather than at other people, you know, at what point is that dangerous to us, to suppress anger, thinking of it as maybe being patient with it? What's the difference? Yeah, yeah, this is something, I think that that came up, I think that came up in our discussion last time too, that I was saying that usually the choice seems to be between repressing an emotion like that or expressing it, and I was trying to make the point that in the Dharma, particularly with meditation practice, there's a third possibility, which is actually allowing an afflictive emotion to really arise seriously in all its fullness without expressing it or acting on it, and that I think this is the possibility that we're looking for, because repression is definitely not a helpful phenomenon.

[12:06]

Repressing afflictive emotions only creates more afflictive emotions, so, and I really feel like this is possible. I think that's in a way what Mik was saying, you know, letting judgment go, you could experience what was there and let go of it, and it wasn't repressing it or sweeping it under the rug or denying it in any way, it was really, this is what it is to be angry, you know, this is what it really feels like. Yeah, thank you for that. That's always an important issue to be sure that we're not, because we do that to ourselves, right? I want to be a good girl, you know, I'm not supposed to feel this or something like that. Yes? Well, I think that my partner went into that third realm in thinking that the person that he felt angry towards became a teacher of the Dharma, and that he would look at how he projected himself, you know, onto that other person, and learn from that, and so

[13:08]

he could thank the person that he was angry with, that how could he live to not have certain actions not get to him, or not bug him, and so it was a learning thing. What a great thing, I end up feeling thankful to the person who made you angry, that's wonderful. Well, some of us do get angry. No kidding. And my partner shared with me how she actually spoke with some anger or some irritation at a meeting, but what the practice actually did was for her to notice it in its fullness very soon, and to realize that this wasn't a mistake, that she was comfortable staying in for very long, and immediately after the meeting went, apologized to the people in

[14:11]

the meeting, and then felt the state gradually kind of less and less until a couple of hours later it was really quite gone, but I think it's very helpful to not wait, to see it's gone maybe further than you want it to go, and how do you rectify it, rather than just holding on. Yes, yes, thank you. Anybody else? So, yeah. Well, in our discussion, I heard about the frustration that arises from wanting to do something, and then one has an agreement to do something else, something else has got to happen now for various good reasons, but really what you want to do is what you're

[15:14]

doing, you know, it's something different, and certainly that happens, and my partner did a good job, it seems, of putting it into a larger context, you know, and not getting so fixated on the desires of the moment as to become, let them kind of fragment the whole scene, which I think is a very good approach. But in all these cases, I'm struck by how tricky it is to ride the line between appropriate practice and recognition of a state of mind, and trying to tweak it, you know, trying to make it go away, trying to transform it, trying to suppress it, trying to repress it, oppress it, depress it. And I'd be curious as to how to walk that line, you know, let's say that I want to do something, I've got a scheduled agreement to do something else, that feeling comes up. Occasionally, with the appropriate response, it's actually to change the plan, do what

[16:17]

you're doing, and occasionally it's not, you know. And it's that spontaneity, that being with the living situation, that I think is really the biggest gift that the practice has. But how to attain that spontaneity is often mysterious for me, because it's so quick, anger especially, boom, it's there, and it's powerful. In Zazen it's one thing, but if you're walking around and somebody does something that you don't like, how do you have the mind of Zazen, the kind of recognition without action, that'll allow you to keep perspective, how do you keep that strength? Yeah, I think it takes time, you know, I think we train ourselves little by little. The idea of spontaneity is kind of interesting, because what's spontaneity? I mean, some spontaneity could be a word that describes how we behave habitually, right,

[17:22]

under the sway of afflictive emotions that are very deeply ingrained in us. No, I know, but I mean, somebody, spontaneity, somebody could be using that word to describe that, or it could be letting go moment by moment and coming from our center, and how do we know, you know, and how can we train ourselves to do that? Well, I think, you know, just over time, working with these paramitas and working with Zazen, and continually letting go, and I mean, ultimately being willing to give up everything, and then what? You know, in other words, setting aside likes and dislikes, and setting aside our grip on our likes and dislikes, then what? So then, there's many statements in the Zen teaching, you know, like, what is the meaning of the Dharma? An appropriate statement, just an appropriate response, you know, well, it doesn't matter

[18:22]

to me, so let me just respond appropriately, like the sun or the cloud. So, I think that just takes time and ripening in the practice. It's an interesting, it's a subtle issue you raise. Yes, Liz. I was reflecting on how does one, as I understood it, how does one cultivate this quality of endurance? Is it in kind of mentally looking at, okay, patience, how do I have patience, how do I endure? And kind of trying to change one thought for another just wasn't effective. Ultimately, it's just that simplicity of kind of a thought in mind, or practice of just going to the breathing. If that could be kept through, with the mind trying to choose one approach over another, or kind of convince itself that, really, this would be better. Yeah, I mean, I think that there's many different ways, you know, of working with something

[19:32]

like this. Because for somebody else, it might, I mean, there is a practice in Buddhism, you know, of substituting, you know, a positive thought for a negative thought. I remember, I was really impressed when Kadagiri Roshi one time said that when he has afflictive emotions, he said that he thinks of sunset on the ocean. So, he substitutes the visual picture in his mind of sunset on the ocean for whatever grief or anger or frustration he's feeling. So, he actually had that practice of substituting. But for somebody else, it might not work. Or for him, at a given moment, it might not work. But going to the breath is a good way of getting perspective and just staying with the feeling and not trying to get rid of it is also another good way. So, I think you have to kind of like figure out, is this helping? And if not, let go of it and think of another way. And there are definitely mental states of great stress in which nothing works, you know.

[20:37]

You just have to endure all your tricks, you know. Because all your different tricks and tools work in their different states of mind. There might be a state of mind when you can actually think about the sunset over the ocean. But then on another day, because of the circumstances and the state that you're in, it doesn't help at all. In fact, it just makes you mad, you know. So, then you have to do something different. And you've got to roll with the punch. You can't get mad and say, well, therefore, practice doesn't, I don't want to do it or it's no good. You just have to say, well, naturally everything changes and I'm always different. So, of course, something that was useful yesterday might not used to be useful today. So, now what will I do? It's always a fresh moment. My partner recounted a wonderful experience in which she was, she's in a relationship with someone that she's very close to and has a habitual frustrated pattern. And by making this effort, she had some insight into the nature of patience

[21:42]

that she got from reading something. And then she made an effort to be patient in an encounter with that person, like a serious discussion. And she didn't do her usual pattern. And it was very liberating for her. And the other person softened somewhat. Not that it was a miracle. The other person still exhibited behaviors that were difficult for her. But the other person definitely softened. And she felt better. And she felt like it was a real kind of... So that was a very inspiring story to me. Anybody else? My partner spoke about the connection between patience and right speech. And it's been a practice for him to notice how he's talking. And to work with not necessarily saying what comes to mind first.

[22:49]

And in that process, seeing yourself better. And then finding it easier to not say the first thing that comes to mind. Well, that's great. Thank you very much for that. So, the practice of patience is a kind of... Maybe we could say it's like a conservative practice. In the sense that we have nurtured this little baby bodhicitta. And like Shantideva says, if there's one moment of anger... Remember he says in the first... If there's one moment of anger, all your positive actions are shot forever. But that works in the reverse too, doesn't it?

[23:51]

What's that? One moment of patience. Well, if you recall, we determined that that statement of Shantideva was a bit of an exaggeration. He was definitely trying to get our attention in the beginning of the chapter. But yeah, there's many... It's not as black and white as that. As long as you hit the right person. Right, right. If you're angry at the wrong person, anyway. There are many ways of backpedaling on that statement. But the point that he's trying to make is that it's really not at all helpful to be angry. Anger is a serious problem. So, anyway, the point is that to practice patience is to try to conserve that little taste that we have of bodhicitta. And all the paramitas that we've been practicing so far, giving morality and patience, these are in the system of commentary on Shantideva's text.

[24:54]

These are considered to be conservative in the sense that these are trying to preserve and protect the little bit of bodhicitta that we've been able to produce. Now, the next paramitas, those are the first three. The next three paramitas, energy, or I'll talk about all the different translations of the word virya paramita, and dhyana paramita, meditation, and prajna paramita, wisdom. The next three are about developing, increasing, rather than just conserving. So there's a kind of dividing line there. So now we're starting on the paramitas that increase and develop the bodhicitta further. Not just preserve it, but now take it further down the line. So, other translations of this word virya. Ekin Roshi translates it as zeal. Stephen Batchelor, in his translation, uses enthusiasm.

[26:00]

Dalai Lama uses endeavor, which is a little flat, endeavor. Other translations are joyous effort. That's a good one, I think, joyous effort, vitality, or energy. So those are all possible translations of the word virya, the Sanskrit word virya. In Sanskrit, you know, the word viral comes from that root. How do you spell it? V-I-R-Y-A, virya paramita. The word viral comes from that root, so this kind of energy sort of suggests, you know, power, kind of power to cut through, sort of. But Ekin Roshi, in his chapter, nicely refers to the Chinese, you know, the Chinese would, you know, just like we're translating, the Chinese translate it, and so sometimes their translations of these Sanskrit words can bring out different aspects of the paramita.

[27:02]

So he talks about the Chinese, ching jin means, ching means refined or unmixed. And so, by extension, it means, this is an interesting sort of exercise in the Chinese language, I guess, it means refined or unmixed, it means spiritual. So the word tends to mean spiritual, and it is likened to polished rice. Polished rice. And you can see, in Chinese culture, you know, polished rice is, white rice is almost, and you notice, like, I've never been to China, but I was in Japan, and you see in Japan that rice is so much a part of who people are. The rice fields and the rice plants, and you know, it's a really big deal. So, this white rice, unrefined, unmixed, refers to spiritual.

[28:04]

And the chin part means to advance. So, in Chinese, the idea is, that quality of mind which causes us to advance in the direction of what's unrefined, what's spiritual. I mean, what's refined, unmixed. So, in other words, the positive motion that brings us into practice is joyous effort. So, in the beginning of the chapter, Shantideva says what this is. In the second verse, what is virya-paramita? It is finding joy in what is wholesome. So, that's basically what it is. Finding, taking joy and delight in what is positive. Rather than saying we should develop positive qualities because we're supposed to,

[29:07]

you know, or it's good for us, or something like that. It's like we actually take joy in it. We enjoy it. We find that we want to go in that direction because it's wonderful. We like it. It raises our spirits and raises our energies. So, that's what virya-paramita is. And then he says, in the next lines here, its opposing factors are explained as laziness, attraction to what is bad, and despising oneself out of despondency. Those are the three opposing factors to virya-paramita. Now, it's very important to know what the opposing factors are. Because, like with patience, we saw that the opposing factors to patience are anger and frustration. Those are the opposite side of the coin of patience. If you really get that down, then what that means is when you see anger and frustration, you right away think of patience. Usually, when you see anger and frustration, you think of it as totally negative. If you know that they're the opposite of patience,

[30:10]

they raise up your inclination to practice patience. So now, it's just a good bit of intelligence to have to see that laziness, attraction to what is bad, and despising oneself out of despondency, these three things are the opposites of joyous effort. So, I want to say a little bit about these three. Laziness means, you're tired, you can hardly move around, you don't feel like doing anything. Does that ever happen to you? In Sanskrit, the word for laziness literally means not to make use of. Not to make use of your life. When you're lazy, you're not making use of your life. So, laziness means you have to be able to tell the difference then between I need a nap because I'm tired

[31:12]

and I'm really lazy. I'm being lazy. I'm indulging myself. So, that's not too easy. But you have to be able to make that kind of discrimination. There's an interesting... I wanted to read you a little passage here from... Because a lot of times people say, Oh boy, I sit down on a cushion in Zazen and I immediately get sleepy. And we don't have this as much as we used to, but in the old days, the good old days, you know, we used to have... People used to fall asleep in Zazen all the time. Leila, you remember, you know, people would be sitting there like this. You'd walk into Zendo and you'd think that people were like praying in a synagogue. They were going back and forth. And it was very common and it was almost like a sign of like deep samadhi or something. It was considered like very good to be sleepy. You were a very experienced person if you were sleeping in Zazen, so somehow it was oddly encouraged.

[32:14]

But then there were people who would have the amazing thing of no matter what time of day it was, how awake they were when they sat down. Instantly on sitting down, they would immediately fall asleep like this. And then they'd get up after Zazen, they'd be fine. But when they sat down, they would immediately fall asleep. So this is a problem that is perennial in the path. And so a lot of people ask about that. And there are many ways to work with this. And like anything else, there are times when nothing helps. But I just thought I'd read you a little passage from Kezan Zenji. I got interested in reading some stuff from Kezan Zenji. He has, you know how Dogan has Fukanza Zengi. Well, Kezan Zenji also has a little fascicle which is called I think it's called Zazen Yojinki which is basically his instructions for how to do Zazen. And he talks about sleepiness.

[33:16]

He says, If torpor and sleepiness overcomes you while sitting, always move your body or open your eyes wide. Open your eyes wide. Then he says, also put your mind on your hairline between your eyebrows. Ever think of that? Put your mind up there. That will wake you up. If you are still not wakeful, rub your eyes or body. If that still doesn't wake you up, get up and walk around always circling to the left. Once you have gone a hundred steps or so, your sleepiness should have vanished. The way to walk is to take a half step with each breath. You walk as though not walking anywhere, silent and unmoving. If you still don't wake up after walking around like this, either wash your eyes and cool your forehead or recite the preface to the precepts for bodhisattvas or some such thing. Just find some way not to fall asleep. And this is, he also mentions the same solution that Shantideva

[34:18]

has, which I often mention to people too. You should observe that the matter of life and death is a great one and impermanence is swift. What are you doing sleeping when your eye of the way is still not clear and you are about to be dead any minute? If torpor and drowsiness come over you repeatedly, you should pray, My habits are deep-seated, that is why I am enshrouded by drowsiness. When will my torpor disperse? I pray that the Buddhas and enlightened ancestors will be so compassionate as to remove my darkness and misery. So anyway, various things to do because it's not a good thing to be sleepy and so you have to rouse yourself. Take a shower, I don't know what, but you've got to find something to do to overcome laziness. And in the chapter where Shantideva immediately launches into this thing about Enmeshed in the snare of disturbing conceptions, I have entered the snare of birth. Why am I still not aware that I live in the mouth of the Lord of Death? Do I not see that

[35:19]

He is systematically slaughtering my species? Whoever remains soundly asleep surely behaves like a buffalo with a butcher. In other words, this is a serious situation that we're in. As we say on our Menju ceremony, practice as though your head was on fire because that's really the situation that we're in. It's a dire situation and we really have to rouse up our energy and make effort because not to do so is to really be doing tremendous damage to our life. So anyway, hopefully we can talk ourselves into it and wake up and not be too lazy. The next one is being attracted to worldly activities. This is the second enemy of energy. This is an interesting one because this looks like energy. We have tremendous

[36:20]

enthusiasm and energy. It's just that we have tremendous enthusiasm and energy for the opposite of what we should have enthusiasm and energy for. So even though we might think, oh, we're practicing joyful energy of drinking heavily or something. Spontaneously. Spontaneously. Spontaneously getting potted every night. It's interesting the way that Shantideva is thinking here. This is an example of laziness. Even though we're putting up tremendous energy to distract ourselves, it's actually a form of laziness. We need to look and see what are we doing and is it something tending in the direction of our practice and of awakening or not. And if it's not, it's actually a form of laziness and we should let it go. And the third one is one that I think is really important and that is the most common one in a way, actually. And that is discouragement.

[37:20]

Discouragement. Thinking that this is not for me. I can't do this. I really don't feel like I belong in this practice. I don't know what else to do. All of that. And this is, he says here in verse 18. He says here, I should never indulge and that's an important word, indulge in despondency by entertaining such thoughts as, how shall I ever awaken? For the Tathagatas who speak what is true have uttered this truth and he quotes from a sutra. And it says in a sutra, if they develop the strength of their exertion, meaning this paramita of energy, if they develop the strength of their exertion even those who are flies, mosquitoes, bees and insects will win the unsurpassable awakening which is so hard to find.

[38:23]

How do you like that? So if I do not forsake the Bodhisattva's way of life why should someone like myself who has been born in the human race not attain awakening? Since I am able to recognize what is beneficial and what is of harm. So this is an incredible thought actually. What this is saying is that if you think that you can't do it or it's too hard or it's not for you, this is actually a form of laziness and it's a tremendous form of arrogance because insects, bees and all kind of creatures and all human beings can achieve the way if they make effort except you. You are the only one who can't. How arrogant to think that you are so special that all other creatures can attain the way but only you can't do it. So actually if you think about this long enough you will see that it really is a kind of a form of arrogance it's a way of holding yourself separate

[39:24]

from the whole flow of life. Somehow you are saying to yourself I am unique, I am different I am better than everybody else I am the only one who is like this. And we feel that way everybody else is practicing really well and they can do it but I can't do it. So this is a form of laziness and is to be abandoned. Then this is interesting you know in the in this the original Bodhisattva of course was Shakyamuni Buddha in past lives and the original literature on Bodhisattva which was way way way way back in Buddhism is all about the past lives of Buddha before he became Buddha. And those stories are full of amazing feats that the Buddha does like the typical one the typical story is like one time the Buddha was born as a rabbit you know and the rabbit was sitting around and he saw this hungry tiger

[40:25]

and he was such a good Bodhisattva that he said oh this tiger is so hungry and he can't find anything to eat, why don't I leap right in front of him and let him catch me so that he can eat me and then he will be happy and I will have done a good deed for the tiger so he does that and there are many stories about how the Buddha one time there's hungry hunters and another animal leaps into their campfire and roasts himself you know so that they can eat him anyway so we might think gee I don't think I'm ready for that so this is raised here as an objection this is one reason why we might get discouraged because we think God you know I mean I can't offer my arms and limbs my whole body or in our terms we might say God I can't get up that early in the morning and give up everything and live in this temple and so on and so forth and go to all these sasheens, it's too much so he says he goes on but nevertheless this is like once in a while some other person

[41:28]

pops up in one of these verses and complains so this is another person popping up in the verse and somebody says but nevertheless it frightens me to think that I may have to give away my arms and legs and you know fill in the blanks whatever it is you think that you can't give away or don't want to give up because it's too hard so it frightens me to think that I may have to give away my arms and legs without discriminating my arms and legs period without discriminating between what is heavy and what is light I am reduced to fear through confusion let's see well he goes on to explain that the way it works is you don't have to give up your arms and legs in the beginning you only have to give up your arms and legs in your body at the moment when that's the next thing for you to do and it's very comfortable for you to do so

[42:28]

so in other words what he's saying is you shouldn't look down the road at all the difficulties of practice and the impossibility of it you should only look far enough down the road to see where your practice is and you should take that step and we never have to take anything else but the next step you don't have to take six steps you just take one step and after one step and one step and one step we may get to the place where we become Buddha and we're happy there's one great story that we used to read all the time in the Diamond Sutra where the Buddha's flesh is hacked away he was a king once and his arms and legs are cut off and one by one he's all cut into little pieces and he never has a thought of anger or dismay over this so but we're ready for that it'll be easy for us to do that in the meantime we don't have to offer our bodies to be hacked up just have to take the next step whatever it is for us in our practice so and then another verse

[43:32]

I wanted to bring up for you when it comes to this business about having a lot of energy for unwholesome things and no energy for wholesome things he has a he talks a lot to us about these things he's trying to convince us about causality the only reason why you would give up all these fun things that you're doing that you have a lot of energy for is when you really came to realize not because somebody tells you you shouldn't do that you're a bad boy or something but because you realize through first hand experience that the results of those actions are bad the things that happen to you as a result of your distractions are not things that you want and conversely the things that happen in your life as a result of positive things that you develop are really wonderful so in his typical Lurid style

[44:32]

he says, he has these verses on this point as a result of virtue I shall dwell in the spacious fragrant and cool heart of a lotus flower my radiance will be nourished by the food of the conqueror's sweet speech my glorious form will spring from a lotus unfolded by the mighty one's light and as a Bodhisattva I shall abide in the presence of the conquerors which is the word for the Buddhists on the other hand but as a result of non-virtue my skin will be ripped off by the henchman of Yama the god of death in this feeble state liquid copper melted by tremendous heat will be poured into my body pierced by flaming swords and daggers

[45:32]

my flesh will be cut into a hundred pieces and I shall tumble upon the fiercely blazing iron ground so these are the type of things that happen as a result of so you think that the Christian hell is bad the Buddhist hell is extremely colorful there's numerous I've often enjoyed reading I have one poem where I once I was once at San Francisco State giving a poetry reading and I launched into this poem and people thought it was absolutely crazy because this poem goes along like any normal poem and all of a sudden it gets derailed and it goes and visits these various Buddhist hells and it goes into tremendous detail about the different Buddhist hells and there's lots of different ones it's not like there's one hell Dante's hell is one hell with lots of different it's like a grandstand with little circular arenas and you keep going down and down but in the Buddhist hell there are totally different hells there's hot ones and there's cold ones

[46:35]

and there's special emotional state you know that it's no exaggeration it's absolutely no exaggeration these are poetic descriptions of states of mind that human beings get in you know sometimes we call it forms of insanity or criminals people who do horrible things where does that come from? why do they do those things? because they have these tremendous states of mind that are awful and tortured states of mind occur in the human realm and that's described as not being in the human realm that's like being in hell so in a way it's outrageous but in another way it's quite real so these are the kinds of states of mind that arise as a result of activity that's unwholesome if you habituate that kind of activity you will enter those states of mind

[47:35]

and even if you are just mildly wasting your time this is kind of warning us that even that which seems innocent actually the consequences are pretty disastrous because it catches up to you all of a sudden you're at a point in your life where you think oh what have I done here? what resources do I have to turn my life around and what kind of condition am I in right now without knowing it I let myself end up here and this happens so be careful then he says there are four qualities and I'll just end with this there are four qualities to develop in order to perfect the practice of energy and the four qualities are aspiration

[48:35]

steadfastness joy and the following one is really interesting and important the last one I mean is taking a rest isn't that interesting so aspiration steadfastness, joy and taking a rest so aspiration we've already looked at aspiration from different angles in the very beginning we talked about morality, we talked about diligence it's a form of aspiration in the very beginning of the text he talks about aspiring to achieve the bodhicitta, seeing what it is and wanting to go in that direction so here once again we have to have aspiration these are the four qualities these are four qualities to be developed to perfect the practice of energy so aspiration is one and as I said this is a repeated quality that's been used before in other of the different paramitas but again

[49:38]

aspiration is aided by reflecting on what happens if we don't take up practice in our life how bad that's going to be for us and on the contrary how wonderful it is and what our life can be if we do take up practice so when we reflect on that we have an aspiration, a kind of a vow that we're going to go in that direction so that's one quality that's needed the second one is steadfastness and another word for steadfastness which is really interesting is self-confidence and this is the opposing factor to discouragement you have to have self-confidence but now the text distinguishes between self-confidence and self-importance self-importance is an afflictive state of mind self-importance is an overestimation of our qualities and it usually has to do with measuring ourselves against others we're more important than somebody else self-confidence is not a feeling

[50:40]

that we're important rather it's a feeling a certainty that our innate capacity like that of all other creatures is to be able to attain the way and to know that and have that as a centerpiece in our life, that's what self-confidence is all about steadfastness and self-confidence are almost the same thing it's the opposite of discouragement so you see what this is all doing I don't know if you're getting the picture here but what this is doing is it's contextualizing what happens to us in practice is we get discouraged or we get angry or whatever and when those states of mind arise what we basically feel is I'm now not part of the practice I'm off the path I'm not doing it anymore I can't do it and what this is all doing is it's saying no, these states of mind arise as in the course of the path in the course of the path there will be discouragement, there will be anger, there will be frustration

[51:43]

this is part of the path this has to be recognized, it has to be named and understood and you have to see what qualities we apply and we aspire to as an antidote to those factors so that everything that arises in our life is part of the picture because otherwise we think the practice is this and not that, and not this and not that, and not that and when we're in those states of mind we think we're doomed but it's all part of the practice so that's what this is saying so that's the second one, steadfastness the third one is joy and let's see, maybe I'll quote something here he says that yeah wrong chapter sixteen yeah just like those who yearn for the fruits of play like children who want to play to take joy in play a bodhisattva is attracted to whatever task he may do he never has enough it only brings him joy

[52:43]

so the bodhisattva is really enjoying himself or herself in the practice that's what this quality is all about enjoying the practice what page is that on? this is on page 96 96 verse 63 although people although people work in order to be happy right? people work and they earn money and they build their homes they do that in order to be happy it is uncertain whether they will find happiness in that way, as we all know maybe we're happy, maybe we're not but how can those whose work itself is joy find happiness unless they do it so for the bodhisattva it's the work itself that's the joy and therefore, you know, do it if I feel that I never have enough sensual objects which are like honey smeared upon a razor's edge ooh that's a good one yeah, that's good isn't it

[53:44]

then why should I ever feel that I have enough merit which ripens in happiness and peace thus in order to complete this task I shall venture into it just as an elephant tormented by the midday sun plunges into a cool refreshing lake so that's how we should feel about taking up the practice just the kind of spirit of joy and what a relief it is to be able to practice and especially if you're ever in these horrible mental states that I was talking about a moment ago, it's a terrific relief you know to come into the meditation hall and hear the sound of the bell it's wonderful it's a wonderful joy to be able to participate in the practice I want to say I really noticed that at noon when we do our evening service especially on a day like today when we pull like 10,000 million reads yeah, it's so great to go in there and settle sometimes I for me especially evening service

[54:47]

I do evening service and I walk out and I think to myself gee, that was a religious experience there's something about it, it's very peaceful it's very pleasant actually, very nice and then that's joy and the last one is it's quite funny that there's 75 stanzas in this chapter or so and he only devotes one stanza to take any rest but at least he does mention it and basically what he says is where is it, stanza I forget here he says he says he doesn't want to keep this up when my strength declines I should leave whatever I am doing in order to be able to continue with it later having done something well I should put it aside with the wish to accomplish what will follow so taking a rest and taking care

[55:49]

of ourselves is part of the practice of energy isn't that interesting that quality the quality of taking a rest when you know you need a rest is one of the four qualities that must be developed if you're actually going to perfect this virtue of energy or joyful effort so when you're tired you don't take a rest because you're fed up and you can't take it anymore you take a rest because you think oh gee, this is so wonderful this practice that I want to be sure that I can do it with full energy tomorrow so I'm going to take a rest now be careful in that word so that I can well right, self-deception is always a problem but we have to be able to look and see so then at the very end of the chapter he talks again about mindfulness reminding us that this quality of mindfulness and discriminative awareness so that we can tell where we're actually at and not deceive ourselves or kid ourselves or not notice where we're at he reminds us how important those qualities are

[56:49]

and then he ends with this wonderful verse just as the wind blowing back and forth controls the movement of a piece of cotton see that? this is India right? a little breeze so shall I be controlled by joy and in this way accomplish everything isn't that beautiful? so think of your practice as like you're just holding yourself up in the breeze of the joy of the practice like a piece of cotton in that way just with that little effort and that nice coolness of the joy of the practice to be able to then accomplish the way this is how he ends the chapter so we will try again this week to practice with energy enthusiasm, zeal or joyful effort and I was thinking again whatever way that you will find

[57:51]

works for you is how to do it but I would say to take a look at self confidence and discouragement and study that see if discouragement arises can you remember that it is your if you're a human being you can practice the way so and can you find energy even when you're a little tired can you figure out when it's time to take a rest and know the difference between a rest that's needed and laziness so in whatever way that we can to work on joyous energy and see is there other times in the practice when you feel joy notice those times and see if you can identify them and see how they arise, what causes them to arise yes I want to say something

[58:54]

yeah the first class when you suggested that we each pick one of the six this is the one I picked and in thinking of the three things that it opposes none of those quite fits my interest which has more to do with priorities and how I often will do something that seems perfectly wholesome and not especially worldly but it's not really what's most important for your practice um yeah I think so sometimes what I really want to be doing is something I'm afraid of or something I'm not confident about so it fits in with all of these so I'm doing something that it's busy enough or it's helpful enough or it's not but it's another it's a more subtle

[59:54]

avoidance of what's really needed well it sounds like though that from what you say that you notice when you're doing that when you're aware of it yeah so that's a kind of function of discriminative awareness to be able to see where it is you're avoiding something yeah there was another quality that I didn't a whole other list of things that he brings up and I didn't bring up the whole list but one quality that he does bring up and I don't know why what you're saying makes me think of this but it does um the quality of and it's part of the practice of energy the quality of non-complacency which is to say always non-complacency always wanting to go one step further it's a little

[60:56]

wider than despondency no no it's in other words looking at what your practice is and saying good how can I perfect that more how can I go further with that how can I make it better how can I make it more interesting how can I advance it and it made me think of so one is always working at the edge of one's practice so you always have to figure out to me that's the great thing what's the edge here that's what I'm hearing somehow yes I'm making these kind of efforts but am I actually making efforts at the edge of what I can do am I actually stretching and perfecting my understanding am I actually understanding more and broadening my experience and the danger here of course is obsession and putting yourself down for not having advanced enough so one has to be careful of that and let go of it when that arises but the other side of it is I think of work in the arts

[61:57]

where the poets that I have always appreciated the most are the ones who to the end of their lives are always trying to figure out how do I make a line how do I do it better this time and it isn't as if they're obsessed with they're so self-critical that they're constantly trying to make it better it's more like they're so devoted to poetry and they have such a spirit of vitality really that right up until the last day of their life they're working very creatively as opposed to other artists who find a tremendous thing and then they repeat it over and over and over again and they lose energy so the same can happen with us in practice we can get pretty proficient at practice and clear up I think this is the great danger sort of plateau is when we clear up when really our suffering is raging like anything we have huge incentive to practice because it's like nothing else will help we're just doomed so we say well ok, no choice

[62:58]

but then we clear up our problems to some extent and it's relatively comfortable and that's the time when it's very difficult because then we have to keep advancing, we have to have that spirit of constantly working on and if we don't we start losing energy is that more like a refinement? yeah, refining you could call it just refining so that spirit of always refining and in a way it's not like we're as we know about bodhicitta, it's an infinite project we're not getting any closer ever but we just have that spirit of constantly refining and refining and refining because this is our joy, this is what's interesting this is what's interesting this is what gives us pleasure and fun, is to see what is it now what is the edge now they say in Zen Shakyamuni Buddha is still working on it he's still working on it that's what they say I've just always seen it

[64:02]

as the spirit of evolution that's the one thing I've always understood about life is that hey, we're evolving the whole universe is evolving get with the program, you're not going to run out of ideas, you're not going to run out of creativity if you accept that basic principle there's always some place to go and if you don't, entropy takes over everything just falls downhill so that's in a way I don't know if that speaks to you but what I got from what you were saying is that sometimes you're working on your practice but you're not working where you should be working you're not working with your edge but then it's good if you can discriminate that and figure that out then you make an adjustment so it's very interesting there is no moment in Buddhadharma always something yeah even if big suffering comes you think, oh boy this is really going to be a challenge how can I advance

[65:03]

my practice of patience with this one so not wanting to wear us out and keep us up late let's chant and end even a few moments early so that we can anybody who wants to join please come with us over to the Zen Do where we're going to do three bows and chant the refuges thank you very much for your attention and next week will be interesting to see probably like there'll be reports from the director at Green Gulch that my god people are getting twice as much work done in my lifetime this week what happened

[65:51]

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