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The problems with celibacy

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So therefore, I say that I reject this quotation because it is taken out of its context, and because it occurs only there, and it has never been understood by the Buddhists like that. They always have fasting, and I just thought of an example that you are supposed to shave your hairs off, which is the world of good, and, well, I can't see you, or you do it in TSR, I suppose. But, you see, in China, this was not sufficient, but they put burning coals onto your head. You see, you'll find that all the old Chinese ones had big scars there, and then, if you winced ever so much, they said, ah, is this how you have overcome cleaving already, you see, and off you were sent, to think of something, I mean, to come again. I mean, this is a fact, isn't it? I mean, you can't deny this burning. Burning, they all have it, I mean, even in Ceylon. Now, that's very unpleasing, I mean, I don't have thoughts, I mean, you just think of it, because, I mean, I have seen sometimes the scars, I


mean, they stayed there for about an hour, I mean, it was not just some sort of ritual dubbing with fire. But you just had to show that you had overcome your attachment to the sensory world, and the only way to show it is to act, you know, comic. I mean, it seems to me so self-evident. No, you don't seem to think so. And there is all religions, this is the perennial philosophy, there is no exception to it outside this plastic barrier. Now, as I said, the Bay Area, as I recently said to a colleague of mine, said that the so-called spiritual revival in the Bay Area may either be a spiritual revival, or it may be just one more pustule on the body of a patient called America. I mean, you just don't know. It's probably more, because otherwise I wouldn't waste my time on you. Pustule,


you are kind of a pustule. I do not say it's pustule, but I mean, at times I get so undone. It's this kind of thing, you see, because, I mean, the very basis of it is taken away. There you have the law. Several weeks ago, in answer to Steve's question about celibacy, you said that often denying the sexual urge creates a greater problem than if you satisfy it. That's right. How does this relate to an austerity or being celibate? When you deny yourself something that you want very much, often doesn't that create a greater problem? That's right. Now, you see, it's again from case to case. I mean, I tried this, but I'm not celibate, because what I found is that after six years of it, a component of my sex instinct, known as sadism, became extremely strong. And in fact, what happened is, I mean, why shouldn't you hear my horrifying stories, that I lived in this wood there, and some old girlfriend of mine came along, and she says, what about it? And I said, oh, I don't know. But then I just bit her all along here,


in the neck. And I said, my dear sir, this is certainly a great sublimation of your sex instinct, you see. But, you see, now then, you are now supposed to then correct yourself, isn't it? Don't you see? I have somebody to correct you. Don't you see? I mean, this is, I mean, you put all the time a penny in the machine, but you don't know what comes out of it. I mean, you would say, I mean, you would look at the person, and in my case, you would on the whole think that with this chap, he could live without sex. I mean, you say, all right. But the experience was, I mean, this was clear and pure and undisputed sadistic. I mean, it had just been displaced from the more chum-chum into the sadistic form. And then, you see, you would probably, I mean, this is the main reason why I do not, I have not persisted in it. Because you think you cause more harm. Then good. Don't you see that? I mean,


all I say is, you must have this thing called common sense. I mean, you try it, you see. I would say that, you see, I look at my experience, you see, that's what you haven't had, you see. That's why I said that this did me the world of good, because it causes a detachment from the whole subject, because you haven't had it. But that obviously there are some components in this lovely sex instinct of mine, which cannot be got rid of like that. Now, then I ask myself, now naturally, you see, I didn't have any guts to bite into the necks. Oh, I mean, you might say, well, that doesn't keep you away from God. But the mere desire to bite into the necks of gods is as bad as doing the biting in Buddhism. You see, in Buddhism, you assume that what counts is not the action, but the inclination.


Hm? So I thought of myself, now, if I walk all the time along here, you see, and become a sort of vampire thing, of course, probably, you see, if you think of it more closely, you see, and I was a vampire, want to bite all these gods, it will do me no good. So do you follow this? You see, and the point is what I said last time, you can never have any certainty in this. And you must use your common sense. I mean, if you can only give advice to an individual person, I have decided for right or wrong, selling business is nothing for me. Perhaps next time. Not this time, in any case, I mean, the whole thing doesn't necessarily matter. But you completely get rid of this whole point. But it causes a sort of detachment, which allows you to be totally mindful with regard to it. Likewise, you see, I nowadays eat, and always, I mean, really only what my wife produces, because if I would go on with these happy ways, I'm too old, you see, I'm nearly 70,


and I get so ill. Well, there may be people who want to criticize everything, who say it would be good for you to die from eating nothing, but I don't. Is this an answer? I mean, what's wrong with that? I mean, it goes from case to case. Hmm? What is your birthday then? Yes, October 21st, yes, that's right. So therefore, you have a certain degree of physical sensuality in it. You see, the point is,


I mean, in my case, sex is practically entire imagination, and it feeds on itself. I have almost no physical urge at all. Therefore, I could say, well, I mean, we just imagine something else will change. But then I found from experience that I had not counted with one element in the sex instinct, which was immensely intensified thereby. And I am, in my astrology, a heat, I'm in a heat type, I have Aries, I have lots of things, you see. So I thought it's an uncomfortable thing to have this in me, so therefore, we just go on as before. But in your case, you would have a physical propensity, a physical sensuality to work off in the Libra. You're Jewish, too, aren't you? The Jews are sensuous, lots of things, and then in addition you are a Jewish Libra. Therefore, I ask myself, what do you do with it?


Don't you see? That's what I ask myself. Now, if you deny it completely, I mean, for instance, you know, in England, we have a thing called the English spinster. I'm just reading, because of the television, I am reading Point to Counterpoint, and I read the book, and there I am reminded of the English spinster. Now, the English spinster is most, in most cases, a virgin. It's strange to say, a real physical virgin. So she has no idea of anything. But she has displaced the entire feelings she would have, where we must not see where it is, into their mouths. And so they have a sort of sensuous, and they have tea heads on, which shows that the entire sex is displaced from where it normally would be supposed to be in a woman, into their mouths, isn't it? That's the one thing. But in addition, now there's no harm in it, you would say. I mean, at least no babies result from


it. There's no harm in it. But it leads to an absolute viciousness when the sexual relations of other people are concerned. A viciousness of such elementary force that they have no control over it. I mean, for instance, I find one of our greatest scholars is Miss Horner. I mean, Horner, a spinster, a guaranteed virgin. I would swear to it. It turns out that the politics society, publications, you know, are transferred from Lusakian Company to another firm. So I arrive on the scene, and I say, you are mad. I mean, you have a good will for about 30, 40 years for one firm. Why give it to the other one? Well, she said, we had a meeting on this, and she said she would resign. If this were not, she was voted down. You see, there's a committee. And she has spent 50,000 pounds, which is a lot of money, on printing all these books


during the last 10 or 20 years. And she resigns, and of course, we cannot allow that. And so then I say to this fellow, what's actually the matter? You see, what's the problem? Well, of course, you know that the new people in the firm are not married. Now, that is sufficient. This is typically the displacement, you see, of the disappointment. That's the whole politics society is thrown into a whirlwind. You have no idea the amount of inconvenience caused by it. And I knew this, you see, this is very near to me, because for 18 years, my Venus is in the sixth house, no, seventh house, the house of marriage, which means that my marriages are invariably highly irregular. And my second marriage consisted that for 18 years, we could not marry, because the first woman, a Jewess, became a Catholic and refused to produce a divorce until I got the better of her. Now,


then, for 18 years, we were not married, which, I mean, I couldn't care less, a complete joke. But we go to La France, my wife and I, I mean, thank you, to La France, and I, being great and famous, am invited to the Maison Boudic or something like that, Madame La Fuente in Lunsbury, some Yankee woman called Lunsbury. And we arrive there, and of course, the star turn of the evening, the great and famous has arrived, you see. And so later on in the bulletin, as you see, nous avons eu l'honneur, we have the honneur to see Monsieur le Docteur Quasi et sa femme, Charmande, Madame Charmande. So thereupon, Miss Horner says, Docteur Quasi, I hear that you have a wife, and it would be very nice if you would once introduce her to me. Now, this was nothing. At that time, the Malala Sekara


issued, started to do the Dictionary of Buddhism, which is published in Ceylon, and they wanted a list of sponsors, which I was one, you see, again, the great and famous, I would just put my name on it. And she said she would refuse to have her name on it by a man. Now, you see, so therefore, what you find, this is just an example to give you of the absolutely elementary titanic hatred which the English spinster have for any form of irregular, schwarzschildian religion. So, what I now want to say is that what they do is they displace their feelings, I mean the feelings directly, the organic feelings into the mouth. But in addition, the self-denial causes a hatred which is similar to me biting into the necks of the girls. Isn't it? So, you see, if you, therefore, muck about with this aesthetic piece, you must look


for this, isn't it? You must look for this. And therefore, you should not do these things normally on your own. Because, you see, I mean, if you say, it's you, I mean, I would just say, good Lord, there he is as virtuous as anything. Now, what is he doing? Masturbation first, of course. What else could he do? We keep him away from women, you see, in any case. Breathing, time, you know what it is nowadays. Well, you get everything nowadays. But what I would find, look for, would be what we call in Latin, misogynism. That you suddenly see, you know, there are far too many women here in this society of ours, you see. I mean, wherever you are in that sector. And in any case, they are far too cheeky. And so on, you see. And so you go on. And then one would begin to wonder, you see. Because, I mean, don't you follow this? I mean, it is only a question that without


supervision, this is a form of self-murder very often. You see, you'll find, I mean, I found, I mean, especially with the celibacy, that the price is always terrific. It's quite terrific, if you know the people. But, see, the Catholic Church has means of dealing with it, you see. I mean, they are extremely skilled people. I don't know here about them. I mean, we are not of ignorant Irishmen, but I am speaking of Europeans, you see. I mean, for instance, one of my very best friends is Lamotte, a great scholar. He shows no real traces of it. I mean, he's a complete celibate. He doesn't know what a woman looks like without clothes. In fact, he asked me about it, you see. I was trying to explain the horrifying facts to him. And he just took this, I mean, this is bothering him. And I know him very intimately, I mean, just as if he was my direct brother. And he has no other effects at all. But that is because they have what is known as a spiritual gap, and there are other people who all the time look for things like reading dirty books,


or speaking ill of women, or things like this. And then they correct it. So what I am trying to say is that you are constrained to do this to a great extent in a vacuum, and so you run much greater risks than people who are in a flourishing organization like the Belgian. I mean, this is one of the Catholic Church there, you see, which has extremely eminent and profound people. All I can accept as well is the thing you say here about magic and so on, where you get involved in performing certain magic, you want to use powers, various powers and whatnot, and come around and start attacking from the inside. Did you unleash more loads of travel than you expected? In fact, you say here that actually, in one part, in reference to the hostile powers or the underworld powers, you say that what I interpret to mean that you have to be ready to die.


You must be ready to die. And in Tibet, you have the famous ritual of the Kshatva ritual, which you can read, look up, Alexander David Niv, he always writes about it beautifully. This whole chapter, and she talks about this guy out in the Moola, wherever it was. Yeah, that's the Kshatva, you see. That is the ritualized form of it. You conjure them up and surrender to them. You see, I mean, you could easily, if you wanted to discuss it, you could say, if I wanted to bite into the necks of the dear girlies, I should have surrendered myself to that. You could have just said that. But I thought it's more convenient not to, you see. But you see, you have normally, if you have a wonderful organization like that, like the Catholic Church, they would, I mean, in that part of the world, they would guide you on it. They always think of something, you see. But it is quite horrific. But I mean, not only do you rouse your own hostility because the instincts do not like to, but you have these actual forces.


And I knew about this because I did all this in a wood, you see, not in a stinking city with a lot of cars. And there, the trees, they just sprouted forth. I mean, it becomes such a reality, you see. And therefore, the ultimate way of getting over that is this complete surrender, which is not constitutional, but you see from the Tibetans that they have it even as a doctrinal Kshatva. And it's just the Kshatva, it means cutting off, you see. You cut yourself off and say, have it, here I am. Yeah. As I recall, in that particular instance, the guy actually experienced vividly being completely pulled apart. Pulled apart, yes. No, you have it as another book by, if you doubt, Alexandra, by a German professor called Hoffman. Hoffman, Hoffman, the Buddhism of Tibet or something like that. He describes it also very nicely, the Kshatva.


Well, I mean, you got to talk about Kshatva, and then there's a lot of things about the Kshatva. Then three. Reintegration. I mean, the whole, you see, I mentioned before, all this goes back to Egypt, you see, that there you have the dismembered on Osiris. And we have this all, it's all exactly the same. Good. In connection with that, you also say, right after that point where you say that this is page 103, toward the bottom, you've just finished saying that it demands a considerable degree of indifference to one's own individual existence, which means you have to be ready to go. And then you say that there are indications that the practice of Smriti or Pratyahara awakens these forces in a manner which is difficult to account for. Difficult. Do you mean that it's difficult to understand how it happens, or it's difficult to handle, or what exactly?


No, no. Difficult to account for, this is English. It means you cannot explain it, or you cannot easily explain it. How it happens. How it happens, you see. I mean, if you look at what is assumed to be known about the laws of the human mind, it's rather surprising that it should happen. I mean, that's what it is. So it takes you by surprise, in short. It takes you by surprise. And took other people, you see, I mean, I'm not entirely alone in all this, took it by surprise, you see, that this should happen at all, because, I mean, you think, there you are, I mean, you take Smriti, you see, you just say, I sit, you know, there, sitting there, sitting there, standing and so on, and you think this is all perfectly rational, and I used to do that in this Buddha of mine, you see. And then, God alone, what hell is let loose against you, you see, and you absolutely don't see the similarity between, you know, I lift my right foot, you see, that's the right foot, and then, you know, the right foot, and all this kind of thing that you do for hours, you see. And then, suddenly, you see that lots of things are there, which they were before.


You see, I mean, the human mind, I mean, modern psychology is very superficial, because it has taken no notice of the spiritual life of man at all, I mean, it's totally unknown to these guys, I mean, they have no idea what they're talking about. Just like when we recite the Dharani against disasters, you know, you see, and the whole point is, you see, that academic psychology tries then to explain all this as projections of your own unconscious, but I do no longer do so, you see, I mean, I think this is a theory which explains nothing, I mean, all you have to do is an enormous pot,


which you call the unconscious, and put in anything you can think of. Yes, we have been completely identified. We have more time. Oh, God. So, we have here, have you thought of your question? I don't think I'm going to ask. No, just one more. Can I have just one more? I have one more question. Maybe it's because I've read, but this is a question that relates to a discussion we had last week about the ferocious aspect of the Bodhisattvas versus the benign aspect, and I wanted to clarify in my own mind whether these hostile forces, or ghosts, demons, devils, and so forth, is this a different order of being or order of creature than the, what is known as the hostile, or I'm sorry, the ferocious aspect of these Bodhisattvas,


is this a different kind of entity, or is this, are these hostile forces in some sense actually Bodhisattva aspects of, I'm sorry, ferocious aspects of the liberating and beneficent forces which appear in the third? Yes, I mean, they are another force. They come under the leadership of the third. Yes, they are either the third or the fourth. The Bodhisattva, in both their approaches, the beneficent aspects are an aspect of the third, fourth, the second realm is the earth bound elemental forces. Elemental forces, you see. I mean, you have to use the example. I mean, in my case, I mentioned it before, my beneficial Bodhisattva is Manjushri, and his terrific form is Yamantaka. These two belong together, and they are the same thing.


But the desire to bite into the necks of girlies would be a form of vampires, or so I mean, this magic would be put into them, that would be a form of vampirism, obviously. It would be no difference at all, because it was along here, you see, and you get that in the films. I mean, I know nothing about it, but I was most surprised at this thing. It was not, no, it was not along there. I showed it. So therefore, it would be a form of disembodied vampirism, which is something completely different, you see. And I mean, if you were, I mean, Yamantaka, he might take her and cut her head off and make a skull out of it to put blood into it, or things like this, you see. But you are the world of God, and really some noble prophets would be found in there, but he would not bite into the neck, you see. I mean, don't you see the difference? And it is just... Yes, I mean, as long as you see it, I mean, I can only confuse it.


I just wanted to make sure, and I thought that was what was the case. You see, it's just a different side of the same coin. I mean, you... There's a liberated wisdom involved in this, demonic side. Yes, that's right. There's a wisdom aspect, where there's not that much... No, no. I mean, the more demonic forces, they tie you still further, and also cause a sense of guilt. I mean, if I could bite into the necks of these girlies without having a sense of guilt, it would be a lovely thing to do, but I don't. You know, it is an awful thing to do. Whereas the way in which this kind of spiritual force removes obstacles and so on, you can be completely ruthless and have not the slightest sense of guilt about it, because then you are animated by the Yamantaka. If you know what you're doing. So, I think the sense of guilt is a very important token in this, you see.


This is a sign which can discriminate. Which helps to discriminate, yes. I would have thought so. Now, whether I will see you again, of course, is a very different question, because next week I cannot, because we have a Scorpio as the head of the new department of Indic Studies, who expects us to, well, go every evening to lectures and stay up till about one or two in the morning, some things like this. And I just don't have the energy, you see. I cannot do it. And if you knew Fritz Stahl, you would be careful not to know him, you know, because the entire Buddhist program depends on his goodwill, you see. So, I am in a frenzy, you see. And after that, probably, we will move to, the week after, we will move to Santa Barbara,


because we have got a house and paid double rent anyway. And my wife is one of those people who usually thinks it's better on the other side of the fence, and so she wants to go to Santa Barbara. So, it would not surprise me if we both would go to Santa Barbara, you see. Yes, that is the situation. And I had not reckoned with this, because he is a very cunning Scorpio, who told me all this only two days ago by phone at nine o'clock in the morning. He has never been known to speak to anybody before eleven. So, I smelled a rat, you see, when I suddenly heard Fritz on the phone. And there it was. We expect this and we expect that. And I could have told him to shut up. But it is unwise, because we have mobilized several hundred thousand dollars for Buddhist studies, which he might spend on some barbaric Hindu studies instead, you see. So, we must keep on the right side with him.


In any case, I mean, you can play this back as often as you like. That's all. Tawba Ya Rabbi, tawba astaghfirullah.